Author: J.Jones

Random Factoid of the Day: Forrest Griffin Took Xanax The Night Before Being Decimated by Anderson Silva at UFC 101


(In retrospect, this news should not come as a huge surprise.)

While appearing on a recent edition of MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour, former light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin informed Ariel Helwani that following his UFC 101 loss to Anderson Silva back in 2009, he failed his post-fight drug test. No, not for elevated levels of testosterone, but for Xanax of all things:

I failed my drug test I think for Xanax. I had a doctor’s prescription, I was just, I didn’t do it before the fight, I did it the night before, I was nervous and I couldn’t sleep.

Why this failed test was not made public by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission is anyone’s guess, but we’re going to assume that Griffin was simply given a pass because he was essentially fed to the wolves over an open flame. That, and it seems that the idea of fighting Silva is enough to make any of his opponents at LHW become suddenly dependent on an outside prescription for one thing or another. Just ask James Irvin.


(In retrospect, this news should not come as a huge surprise.)

While appearing on a recent edition of MMAFighting’s The MMA Hour, former light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin informed Ariel Helwani that following his UFC 101 loss to Anderson Silva back in 2009, he failed his post-fight drug test. No, not for elevated levels of testosterone, but for Xanax of all things:

I failed my drug test I think for Xanax. I had a doctor’s prescription, I was just, I didn’t do it before the fight, I did it the night before, I was nervous and I couldn’t sleep.

Why this failed test was not made public by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission is anyone’s guess, but we’re going to assume that Griffin was simply given a pass because he was essentially fed to the wolves over an open flame. That, and it seems that the idea of fighting Silva is enough to make any of his opponents at LHW become suddenly dependent on an outside prescription for one thing or another. Just ask James Irvin. Unfortunately, judging by Griffin’s performance that night, we’re guessing he was accidentally prescribed the extended release form of Xanax, hence his inability to throw a punch that Silva couldn’t see coming from a mile away. As Paulo Filho will tell you, Xanax and MMA does not a winning performance make.

But according to the always self-deprecating Griffin, the Silva fight was simply a harsh, harsh learning experience that he could only improve from. Now THAT’s optimism, Nation.

Look what happened when I fought Anderson Silva. It can’t possibly get worse than that. I’ve already seen the bottom and it wasn’t that bad. I made it through. I survived. It’s fighting. It’s not the end of the world.

Let the countdown to Stephan Bonnar’s inevitable positive test for a low grade beaver tranquilizer begin…

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Karo Parisyan Submits Hapless Opponent at Gladiator Challenge: King of the Mountain


(Karo Parisyan: A beast when he wins, a Hollywood cliche when he loses.)

Did someone say King of the mountain?

It may be a long time before we see Karo Parisyan competing in a top level promotion again, but he took one step closer by utterly destroying Anonymous Tatted-up Opponent #237 (known professionally as, we shit you not, Tiger Bonds) at Gladiator Challenge: King of the Mountain over the weekend. It was Parisyan’s second victory in his past three contests, which is only made less than impressive when you consider that his other win came over Thomas Denny. And that he had dropped four of his past five before that. But hey, we’re taking the optimistic approach today, so all you haters can suck a bag of dicks.

Video after the jump.


(Karo Parisyan: A beast when he wins, a Hollywood cliche when he loses.)

Did someone say King of the mountain?

It may be a long time before we see Karo Parisyan competing in a top level promotion again, but he took one step closer by utterly destroying Anonymous Tatted-up Opponent #237 (known professionally as, we shit you not, Tiger Bonds) at Gladiator Challenge: King of the Mountain over the weekend. It was Parisyan’s second victory in his past three contests, which is only made less than impressive when you consider that his other win came over Thomas Denny. And that he had dropped four of his past five before that. But hey, we’re taking the optimistic approach today, so all you haters can suck a bag of dicks.

Video below.

Adhering to the advice offered by his legion of swooning fans, Parisyan does in fact “Bring the heat” in the early going, nearly finding Bonds’ off button with the first punch he throws. From there, it’s Karo 101: judo toss, clinch, judo toss, armbar. Whereas most MMA sites covering this will likely offer up some hackneyed “He looks like the Karo of old” type phrase somewhere in their assessment of his performance, we’re a little more hesitant to declare that Karo version 2.0, 2.5, 3.75 is finally back on the right track. That said, he looked a lot better than he has in quite some time and we truly wish all the best for the guy in the future.

Ugh. All this optimism is making me feel dead inside.

–J. Jones

UFC on FUEL 5 Wrap-Up: Stefan Struve’s Emotional Post-Fight Interview & Full Post-Fight Press Conference [VIDEOS]

Aside from displaying a much improved striking game in his second round TKO win over up-and-coming prospect Stipe Miocic last weekend, veteran heavyweight Stefan Struve put to rest all of the speculation regarding his chin (at least for the moment) by successfully eating the Clevelander’s best punches without looking much worse for the wear. But what most of the general public was completely unaware of heading into last weekend’s main event was the plight of Struve’s father, who had been diagnosed with cancer just a couple months ago and has been battling the disease ever since.

Obviously the news did not come easy to Struve, who was training for his fight with Miocic at the time, but the Dutchman managed to push through the onslaught of emotions and turn in a Brett Favre-esque performance on Saturday night. It wasn’t until his victorious post-fight interview that Struve brought everything to light, breaking down in heartrending fashion:

My dad [found out he had] cancer two months ago. He’s in therapy. He’s doing well, but, still. Yeah, I’ve been wanting to go home. It will be good to go home and see him again.

Having recently lost a family member to cancer, I can tell you first hand how difficult a process it is to deal with for all parties involved. I’m sure many of you readers could say the same. But like Struve said, his father is doing fine for the time being, so Struve should rest assured that he will be bringing his biggest victory inside the octagon home with him. We here at CP would like to let the Struve family know that our thoughts and prayers are with them in this difficult time. If Stefan’s performances inside the octagon are any indication, we imagine that his father will likely beat that pussy cancer inside of three rounds.

After the jump: A full video of the UFC on FUEL 5 post-fight press conference in which Dana White discusses his broner for Brad Pickett, pokes fun at the emotionless cyborg known as Gunnar Nelson, and tells everyone who thought the card sucked to stick it “right up your ass.” If only the President of this great nation could be so frank.

Aside from displaying a much improved striking game in his second round TKO win over up-and-coming prospect Stipe Miocic last weekend, veteran heavyweight Stefan Struve put to rest all of the speculation regarding his chin (at least for the moment) by successfully eating the Clevelander’s best punches without looking much worse for the wear. But what most of the general public was completely unaware of heading into last weekend’s main event was the plight of Struve’s father, who had been diagnosed with cancer just a couple months ago and has been battling the disease ever since.

Obviously the news did not come easy to Struve, who was training for his fight with Miocic at the time, but the Dutchman managed to push through the onslaught of emotions and turn in a Brett Favre-esque performance on Saturday night. It wasn’t until his victorious post-fight interview that Struve brought everything to light, breaking down in heartrending fashion:

My dad [found out he had] cancer two months ago. He’s in therapy. He’s doing well, but, still. Yeah, I’ve been wanting to go home. It will be good to go home and see him again.

Having recently lost a family member to cancer, I can tell you first hand how difficult a process it is to deal with for all parties involved. I’m sure many of you readers could say the same. But like Struve said, his father is doing fine for the time being, so Struve should rest assured that he will be bringing his biggest victory inside the octagon home with him. We here at CP would like to let the Struve family know that our thoughts and prayers are with them in this difficult time. If Stefan’s performances inside the octagon are any indication, we imagine that his father will likely beat that pussy cancer inside of three rounds.

After the jump: A full video of the UFC on FUEL 5 post-fight press conference in which Dana White discusses his broner for Brad Pickett, pokes fun at the emotionless cyborg known as Gunnar Nelson, and tells everyone who thought the card sucked to stick it “right up your ass.” If only the President of this great nation could be so frank.

–J. Jones

Clay Guida to Drop to Featherweight, Expects Early 2013 Return

tk
(Careful Clay, all those fruity, sugary, woman drinks ironically go right to the hips.)

On the heels of a razor thin split decision loss to Gray Maynard at UFC on FX 4, his second loss to top tier competition in as many fights, it appears that everybody’s favorite energizer bunny/alcoholic, Clay Guida, will be dropping to featherweight for his next fight. Although no debut date or opponent have been decided as of this write up, Guida told MMAJunkie that he expects to make his featherweight debut sometime in early 2013.

Prior to his current two fight skid, Guida racked up four straight wins over such names as former PRIDE lightweight kingpin Takanori Gomi and former WEC lightweight champion Anthony Pettis among others, pulling in two Submission of the Night awards in the process and bringing his total award count to 7.

tk
(Careful Clay, all those fruity, sugary, woman drinks ironically go right to the hips.)

On the heels of a razor thin split decision loss to Gray Maynard at UFC on FX 4, his second loss to top tier competition in as many fights, it appears that everybody’s favorite energizer bunny/alcoholic, Clay Guida, will be dropping to featherweight for his next fight. Although no debut date or opponent have been decided as of this write up, Guida told MMAJunkie that he expects to make his featherweight debut sometime in early 2013.

Prior to his current two fight skid, Guida racked up four straight wins over such names as former PRIDE lightweight kingpin Takanori Gomi and former WEC lightweight champion Anthony Pettis among others, pulling in two Submission of the Night awards in the process and bringing his total award count to 7.

His most recent fight with Maynard was, at the risk of overusing the term, “Starnesian” to say the least — consisting of long periods of inactivity and avoidance (one which earned him a timidity warning from referee Dan Miragliotta) punctuated by the occasional combination — and was criticized by both the fans and Dana White, who declared the contest to be “a blowout for Maynard” and “not a fight” at all. Personally, I think Guida was simply protesting the decision that forced him to braid his hair, which was a goddamned travesty in every sense of the word. That being said, a good percentage of the viewing audience still scored the fight in favor of Guida, because denial is a powerful, powerful thing (insert vitriol filled “hack journalist”, “fool”, and “disgrace to MMA writers around the world” comments here). In either case, you have to imagine Guida will be looking to impress both the audience and his supreme overlord in his next bout.

Given that the featherweight division, not unlike most divisions, is still residing beneath an absent champion, Guida’s presence at 145 could cause a lot of waves in the title landscape. Now that Frankie Edgar has been left without a dance partner for his big debut, who would like to see him face Guida while Jose recovers from his joyriding accident?

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Full UFC 154: St. Pierre vs. Condit Press Conference


(“Don’t worry, Carlos, I’ll let you hold a real belt for a minute after this photo op is over.”)

Earlier today, the UFC held its official press conference to announce the long awaited showdown between welterweight “champion” Georges St. Pierre and “interim champion” Carlos Condit at UFC 154. And we may have had to do some regrettable things for this guy in a parking lot to get it, but we’ve managed to snag the full video of the press conference for your viewing entertainment.

Join us after the jump to hear Condit and GSP engage in a good old fashioned battle of politeness. Seriously, GSP is so nice that he even declares Condit to be the true champion at one point. Condit tries to fire back by stating that St. Pierre is “the best in the world,” but one does not simply “out-nice” a Canadian.


(“Don’t worry, Carlos, I’ll let you hold a real belt for a minute after this photo op is over.”)

Earlier today, the UFC held its official press conference to announce the long awaited showdown between welterweight “champion” Georges St. Pierre and “interim champion” Carlos Condit at UFC 154. And we may have had to do some regrettable things for this guy in a parking lot to get it, but we’ve managed to snag the full video of the press conference for your viewing entertainment.

Join us after the jump to hear Condit and GSP engage in a good old fashioned battle of politeness. Seriously, GSP is so nice that he even declares Condit to be the true champion at one point. Condit tries to fire back by stating that St. Pierre is ”the best in the world,” but one does not simply ”out-nice” a Canadian.

Man, if GSP didn’t have it in him to break that “nice guy” Dan Hardy’s arm when given the opportunity, we might be in for the first double DQ via Kalib Starnesian backpedaling in UFC history come UFC 154. Only time will tell, I guess.

–J. Jones

Joe Warren to Give This Whole Bantamweight Pipe Dream Another Try at Bellator 80

(It’s safe to say that it can’t end any worse than the first time.) 

Over the past two years, Joe Warren has gone from a tough-nosed underdog to an unexpected/abrasively arrogant champion to the poster child for what not to do if you ever become an MMA champion. His strategy of trying to win two belts before he could defend one (also known as Hendo-ing) backfired in epic fashion to say the least, resulting in a pair of brutal knockout losses to Alexis Villa and Pat Curran,  the latter of which cost him the title he had actually earned. Not only were these losses thoroughly embarrassing for his “Baddest Man on the Planet” shtick, but the damage resulting from them will likely challenge his mental stability down the line if you know what we are saying. The fact that he obtained the featherweight title in the fashion he did — getting absolutely dominated only to score a flukish comeback thereafter — only led people to further question his decision to drop down a weight class in hindsight.

Unfortunately for Joe, his combination of bad decision making and bad luck left him with nowhere to go other than back down to bantamweight for his next fight at Bellator 80, which goes down on November 9th. Fortunately for Joe, the matchmakers at Bellator or going to give him a much easier opponent this time around…


(It’s safe to say that it can’t end any worse than the first time.) 

Over the past two years, Joe Warren has gone from a tough-nosed underdog to an unexpected/abrasively arrogant champion to the poster child for what not to do if you ever become an MMA champion. His strategy of trying to win two belts before he could defend one (also known as Hendo-ing) backfired in epic fashion to say the least, resulting in a pair of brutal knockout losses to Alexis Villa and Pat Curran,  the latter of which cost him the title he had actually earned. Not only were these losses thoroughly embarrassing for his “Baddest Man on the Planet” shtick, but the damage resulting from them will likely challenge his mental stability down the line if you know what we are saying. The fact that he obtained the featherweight title in the fashion he did — getting absolutely dominated only to score a flukish comeback thereafter — only led people to further question his decision to drop down a weight class in hindsight.

Unfortunately for Joe, his combination of bad decision making and bad luck left him with nowhere to go other than back down to bantamweight for his next fight at Bellator 80, which goes down on November 9th. Fortunately for Joe, the matchmakers at Bellator or going to give him a much easier opponent this time around.

This guy.

No, not the guy in the screenshot. We can see how that could be confusing.

To be fair, Owen “Country Boy” Evinger and Warren do have the same record. To be completely unfair, Evinger is 1-3 in his last 4 and has dropped two of those fights in Bellator to much lesser fighters than Joe Warren. He also lost his last fight by first round armbar to someone who does not have a winning record. We’re not saying Evinger is being brought in to lose here, but….actually that’s exactly what we’re saying. For God’s sake, he’s facing a former self-proclaimed “Baddest Man on the Planet” here, and we all know the weight a title like that carries.

Best of luck to ya, Owen. We’ll be waiting for you at the bar with a round of shots ready just in case. Same goes for you, Joe.

–J. Jones