Fearection: 1) Sexual arousal combined with a feeling of intimidation and uncertainty, generally provoked by powerful/forceful women who are physically attractive. 2) The act of God himself striking fear into your erection. 3) An erection rooted in an unexpected response to the fight or flight mechanism.
One of these definitions, or perhaps a little bit of each of them, best described our reaction when we came upon these recent pictures of former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos Justino. Because, although our immediate reaction to hearing that the newly single Cyborg was snapped by Globo.com in a series of bikini shots was to shut down our computers, throw them from the top of the highest building in town, and renounce the Internet for life, after actually taking a look at them, we must say that she is looking rather…healthy (?) these days. Sure, it’s not going to get your engine revving like a Gina Carano GQ shoot, but dare we say that Cyborg almost looks doable in a couple of these (Ed note: We know, that statement is now committed to the Internet archives forever). Looks like you done fucked up, Evangelista.
Check out a full gallery of her photos after the jump. Don’t worry, it’s not with our picture viewer.
(R.I.P Mike in Brazil.)
Fearection: 1) Sexual arousal combined with a feeling of intimidation and uncertainty, generally provoked by powerful/forceful women who are physically attractive. 2) The act of God himself striking fear into your erection. 3) An erection rooted in an unexpected response to the fight or flight mechanism.
One of these definitions, or perhaps a little bit of each of them, best described our reaction when we came upon these recent pictures of former Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos Justino. Because, although our immediate reaction to hearing that the newly single Cyborg was snapped by Globo.com in a series of bikini shots was to shut down our computers, throw them from the top of the highest building in town, and renounce the Internet for life, after actually taking a look at them, we must say that she is looking rather…healthy (?) these days. Sure, it’s not going to get your engine revving like a Gina Carano GQ shoot, but dare we say that Cyborg almost looks doable in a couple of these (Ed note: We know, that statement is now committed to the Internet archives forever). Looks like you done fucked up, Evangelista.
We’ve noticed that many of you have been bitching like schoolchildren wistfully pointing out the quality (or lack thereof) our photo viewer even more than normal lately, so we are currently working on it. And being that we wouldn’t want to deny a single one of you such steamy photos as these, we’ve provided them in standard, non-gallery format. Don’t say we never did anything for you.
As Seth asked unto us, we shall ask unto you, Potato Nation: “You know, after she put down the tainted supplements and put on some make up…would you or wouldn’t you?”
(Really, you guys? We all agreed to throw our fingers in the air once that beat dropped and now I look like an asshole up here.)
Sticking to their brief but noticeable pattern of hopping onto novelty trends long after the well has run dry (see Bob Sapp, Bobby Lashley), it appears that the brains behind India-based promotion Super Fight League began filming a TUF-style reality show yesterday. Co-owner Raj Kundra broke the news via his Twitter as things got underway:
Yes we have announced The Super Fighter (Ed note: Nice, Raj. REEEEAAALLL original.) MMA reality show. Auditions are now on pan India.
In addition, Kundra discussed some of the intricacies of the show’s format with the Hindustan Times:
The show will go for 50 days and each week people will vote for who they want to see fight on a Friday night. The fighters will also be given tasks each week.
Given the abysmal numbers this season of The Ultimate Fighter Amurica pulled in, along with the fact that SFL are, you know, hemorrhaging money and all, you’d probably think that this was a boneheaded move on their part. To which we’d partially agree with you.
On the other hand, part of the reason SFL is seeing such paltry attendance numbers is due to the lack of MMA awareness that currently exists in India. Some of the bigger named celebrities who attended SFL’s first event even admitted afterward that they were under the belief that MMA was something along the lines of the WWE, and were abhorred to learn otherwise. A MMA based reality show, however, could easily help stir up some newfound interest in the sport as the first season of The Ultimate Fighter did here in the good old U.S of A.
(Really, you guys? We all agreed to throw our fingers in the air once that beat dropped and now I look like an asshole up here.)
Sticking to their brief but noticeable pattern of hopping onto novelty trends long after the well has run dry (see Bob Sapp, Bobby Lashley), it appears that the brains behind India-based promotion Super Fight League began filming a TUF-style reality show yesterday. Co-owner Raj Kundra broke the news via his Twitter as things got underway:
Yes we have announced The Super Fighter (Ed note: Nice, Raj. REEEEAAALLL original.) MMA reality show. Auditions are now on pan India.
In addition, Kundra discussed some of the intricacies of the show’s format with the Hindustan Times:
The show will go for 50 days and each week people will vote for who they want to see fight on a Friday night. The fighters will also be given tasks each week.
Given the abysmal numbers this season of The Ultimate Fighter Amurica pulled in, along with the fact that SFL are, you know, hemorrhaging money and all, you’d probably think that this was a boneheaded move on their part. To which we’d partially agree with you.
On the other hand, part of the reason SFL is seeing such paltry attendance numbers is due to the lack of MMA awareness that currently exists in India. Some of the bigger named celebrities who attended SFL’s first event even admitted afterward that they were under the belief that MMA was something along the lines of the WWE, and were abhorred to learn otherwise. A MMA based reality show, however, could easily help stir up some newfound interest in the sport as the first season of The Ultimate Fighter did here in the good old U.S of A.
But whether Kundra and Co. are actually seeking to further awareness of the sport in general or simply exploit it for monetary gain remains to be seen. If they are truly interested in the former, then we would suggest they shy away from the fabricated drama and in-house quarreling that has dragged many seasons of the show down over here. Don’t get us wrong, a stank bref joke is always funny when used sparingly, but 100 of them back-to-back kind of waters the hilarity down.
And what exactly are these tasks they must perform, you ask? We’re not exactly sure, and we don’t want to blow the lid on this thing, but one of our anonymous sources gave us the inside scoop on what went down on the first day of shooting:
After a brief introduction, 32 fighters were brought into a small training facility, half featherweight, half welterweight, where they were met by SFL co-founder Sanjay Dutt, arms crossed and eyes aflame. In an attempt to channel Dana White, Sanjay apparently screamed obscenities at each of the fighters until they cried before asking aloud “Do you want to be a fighter that is fucked?” (Ed note: We think a translation error might have been responsible for this bit of oddly-phrased dialogue). Each fighter was forced to consume one Dinner of Doom and a gallon of camel semen before they stepped into the cage, which was surrounded with barbed-wire, broken two-by-fours, and homemade roman candles, mind you. The first man to be knocked out, submitted, or vomited on lost a spot in the house and was then subjected to eight straight hours of the “Bssshop, Bssshop, Now” section of the SFL theme song on loop.
The coaches were then revealed to be Bob Sapp and Jimmy Ambriz, but Sapp was declared medically unfit for competition after bumping his head on the gym’s door frame while entering. According to several of the show’s participants, Sapp immediately fell into the fetal position and tapped out with such vigor that he shattered all of the bones in his right hand. He will be looking at a minimum 6 months out of action. He was replaced by Eric Esch, who was also pulled from the show after falling onto his back in the parking lot and, being unable to flip over to his front and crawl his way to a patch of nearby shade, roasted to death in the Indian Sun.
A candlelight vigil/ BBQ of his remains was held at the TUF house that night, where each fighter gave a few inspiring words as Esch’s signature American trunks were placed on a door that had been kicked off its hinges before filming even began, and committed to the sea.
(Who just called me a thief?! Was it you?! I am an undisclosed investment opportunist you son of a bitch, so get your shit straight!)
If there’s one thing we know about Chael Sonnen, it’s that he can hurl insults at other fighters, reporters, and entire countries with the lyrical ostentation of an 18th century poet (we also hear he’s an OK fighter as well). His ability to string together an eight or nine word sentence without having “uh” or “you know” constitute at least three of those words puts him head and shoulders above a lot of his peers (Junior Dos Santos is trying, you guys, leave him alone), so much so that he can almost convince us that Big Nog once tried to feed a carrot to a bus without sounding like a sundowning centenarian in the midst of an LSD flashback while doing so. Almost.
That being the case, you’d imagine that Sonnen would be able to take a joke, or at least an awkward question in stride, because those who cast stones at other people should expect stones to be cast at them, or whatever it is that they say. I’m not looking it up. But more often than not, this is not the case for the shit-spewing, trash-talkers of the world. Such is the case with Mr. Sonnen, who has shown us in such memorable moments as “Amateur Hour with Michael Lansberg” that he can’t exactly take it as well as he can dish it out.
Sonnen recently appeared on the John Canzano-hosted “Portland’s 750 -The Game” to promote his upcoming rematch with Anderson Silva at UFC 148, and when the subject of his past legal troubles came up, let’s just say that Chael went from about 0-100 faster than a McLaren F1 with Memphis Raines behind the wheel. And don’t think for a second that we don’t see the irony in poking fun at Chael Sonnen while at the same time lambasting him for excessively poking fun at other fighters. The Internet gives us a Diplomatic Immunity to do so and not even Roger Murtaugh can revoke it.
A full audio recording of the exchange and transcription are after the jump.
(Who just called me a thief?! Was it you?! I am an undisclosed investment opportunist you son of a bitch, so get your shit straight!)
If there’s one thing we know about Chael Sonnen, it’s that he can hurl insults at other fighters, reporters, and entire countries with the lyrical ostentation of an 18th century poet (we also hear he’s an OK fighter as well). His ability to string together an eight or nine word sentence without having “uh” or “you know” constitute at least three of those words puts him head and shoulders above a lot of his peers (Junior Dos Santos is trying, you guys, leave him alone), so much so that he can almost convince us that Big Nog once tried to feed a carrot to a bus without sounding like a sundowning centenarian in the midst of an LSD flashback while doing so. Almost.
That being the case, you’d imagine that Sonnen would be able to take a joke, or at least an awkward question in stride, because those who cast stones at other people should expect stones to be cast at them, or whatever it is that they say. I’m not looking it up. But more often than not, this is not the case for the shit-spewing, trash-talkers of the world. Such is the case with Mr. Sonnen, who has shown us in such memorable moments as “Amateur Hour with Michael Lansberg” that he can’t exactly take it as well as he can dish it out.
Sonnen recently appeared on the John Canzano-hosted “Portland’s 750 -The Game” to promote his upcoming rematch with Anderson Silva at UFC 148, and when the subject of his past legal troubles came up, let’s just say that Chael went from about 0-100 faster than a McLaren F1 with Memphis Raines behind the wheel. And don’t think for a second that we don’t see the irony in poking fun at Chael Sonnen while at the same time lambasting him for excessively poking fun at other fighters. The Internet gives us a Diplomatic Immunity to do so and not even Roger Murtaugh can revoke it.
A full transcription of the exchange is below, compliments of our buddies at Fightlinker:
Canzano: You came on the show a couple years ago, since that time you’ve had the Anderson Silva fight, you got the suspension for the testosterone levels, you got the guilty plea in the mortgage fraud thing in 2011…how much of that stuff is behind you? How much of that stuff are you still dealing with?
Sonnen: Uh…It’s all behind me. I’ve never been in any sort of mortgage fraud, I’m not sure where you guys get that term up. But every time I come on your show you make new things up…so. I guess it’s good. I hope you’re not still beating your wife, John.
Canzano: Oh c’mon. You didn’t plead guilty to any kind of crime?
Sonnen: Well sure, but is that what you just said? Or did you state a crime, as you do every time I come on the show and say things that aren’t true. And I said I hope that you still don’t beat your wife.
Canzano: I said that you pled guilty to mortgage fraud…
Sonnen: Right, and I said that I hope you don’t beat your wife and I was never even accused of mortgage fraud.
Canzano: What was it? Money laundering?
Sonnen: There you go!
Canzano: Okay, so it was money laundering. …In connection to a mortgage.
Sonnen: But you can see the problem when I come onto your show and you make things up. Don’t you see the problem when a hometown guy comes on and you make things up? This is why I don’t like to do your show. You’re unprepared, you’re unprofessional.
Canzano: Look, I’m looking right here at the research. I’m looking at the case…
Sonnen: You’re looking at the research?! I guarantee I know what you’re looking at, you did Google. ANd I’m glad that you admitted it on the air that that’s your level of research, John. You’re about the most unprofessional guy there is. And, boy, I hope you’re done beating your wife. Let’s just call the interview over.
Canzano: Chael! Come on, man! Seriously?
*Sonnen hangs up*
As you can see, this reporter was clearly out to get Sonnen, having nothing but his own personal gains in mind, hence the true middleweight champion’s appropriate retaliation. Money laundering is one thing, but MORTGAGE FRAUD?! He’s not a monster, for Christ’s sake! That’s like calling someone who has a few speeding tickets a rapist!! How this so called “disc jockey” had the intestinal fortitude to imply that Sonnen would use his position in the real estate business to swindle people out of their hard-earned money is just insane. Sonnen simply took their money under the false pretense that his people would make “repairs” to their homes, repairs that he secretly knew would never actually be carried out. The gall of this guy!
Help us vent our frustrations at this DJ’s narrow-minded insolence in the comment section.
(FoGriff: A laid back guy in every sense of the word.)
Watching Matt Serra and Forrest Griffin discuss anything from their past fights to the condition of Griffin’s car (which makes me feel a hell of a lot better about the condition of my own) is kind of like watching an Abbott and Costello movie, minus the mythological creatures and slapstick hijinks, of course. The two effortlessly riff off one another like a pair of old pals, which makes Serra’s recent trip to Vegas to film his ongoing series for the UFC, Fight Camp Insider, all the more entertaining.
Taking the typical “light on actual fight discussion, heavy on pizza discussion” approach that Serra has mastered in previous outings, the pair of former champions also make sure to discuss such topics as the shrinkage caused by an ice bath (which I can only assume must be insane), FoGriff’s Ted Bundy-esque mode of transportation, and the ability of Ray Longo to clear a house using only the power of his mighty deuces. Oh yeah, and they manage to find enough time to briefly hype Forrest’s upcoming trilogy match with Tito Ortiz at UFC 148.
Video after the jump.
(FoGriff: A laid back guy in every sense of the word.)
Watching Matt Serra and Forrest Griffin discuss anything from their past fights to the condition of Griffin’s car (which makes me feel a hell of a lot better about the condition of my own) is kind of like watching an Abbott and Costello movie, minus the mythological creatures and slapstick hijinks, of course. The two effortlessly riff off one another like a pair of old pals, which makes Serra’s recent trip to Vegas to film his ongoing series for the UFC, Fight Camp Insider, all the more entertaining.
Taking the typical “light on actual fight discussion, heavy on pizza discussion” approach that Serra has mastered in previous outings, the pair of former champions also make sure to discuss such topics as the shrinkage caused by an ice bath (which I can only assume must be insane), FoGriff’s Ted Bundy-esque mode of transportation, and the ability of Ray Longo to clear a house using only the power of his mighty deuces. Oh yeah, and they manage to find enough time to briefly hype Forrest’s upcoming trilogy match with Tito Ortiz at UFC 148.
(Gentlemen, no need to show me the door, because THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE!)
There aren’t many fighters in the UFC who have had longer layoffs in between fights than Carlos Eduardo Rocha. Well, maybe before this summer began, that is. Fighting just three times between November of 2010 and June of 2012, Rocha’s 1-2 UFC record included a submission via kneebar win over Kris McCray and a pair of close decision losses to Jake Ellenberger at UFC 126 and most recently, Mike Pierce at UFC on FX 3. The latter fight, which you may recall was originally scored a split decision victory for Pierce rather than a UD thanks to the general incompetency of Floridians, was a relatively lackluster affair that was dominated by Pierce’s clinch and wrestling game ala Couture vs. Vera.
It might surprise you to learn that Rocha, an incredibly decorated BJJ practitioner whose only trips to the scorecards have come in the UFC, was let go following the loss. As one might understand, Rocha was none too happy to learn of this news, and quickly vented his frustrations (mainly, those relating to Pierce’s performance) when interviewed by Tatame:
I went there to fight MMA and he wants to win by points. There were 15 minutes of pure stalling This is bullshit. And UFC fires me after a fight where the guy just stood there stalling. I had good performances and even so I was cut off. I didn’t expect this.
Ah, the Nick Diaz defense. Classy move, Mr. Rocha.
More from this interview after the jump.
(Gentlemen, no need to show me the door, because THERE IT IS RIGHT THERE!)
There aren’t many fighters in the UFC who have had longer layoffs in between fights than Carlos Eduardo Rocha. Well, maybe before this summer began, that is. Fighting just three times between November of 2010 and June of 2012, Rocha’s 1-2 UFC record included a submission via kneebar win over Kris McCray and a pair of close decision losses to Jake Ellenberger at UFC 126 and most recently, Mike Pierce at UFC on FX 3. The latter fight, which you may recall was originally scored a split decision victory for Pierce rather than a UD thanks to the general incompetency of Floridians, was a relatively lackluster affair that was dominated by Pierce’s clinch and wrestling game ala Couture vs. Vera.
It might surprise you to learn that Rocha, an incredibly decorated BJJ practitioner whose only trips to the scorecards have come in the UFC, was let go following the loss. As one might understand, Rocha was none too happy to learn of this news, and quickly vented his frustrations (mainly, those relating to Pierce’s performance) when interviewed by Tatame:
I went there to fight MMA and he wants to win by points. There were 15 minutes of pure stalling This is bullshit. And UFC fires me after a fight where the guy just stood there stalling. I had good performances and even so I was cut off. I didn’t expect this.
Ah, the Nick Diaz defense. Classy move, Mr. Rocha.
Wasn’t he the one who said he’d fight any Brazilian because it’s an easy fight? I thought he could come for me but he didn’t. He didn’t attack me on the clinch, he didn’t hit me nor let me hit him. That’s not MMA. There was one promotion (that made him an offer), but the guy didn’t wanna fight me. Now let’s move on, keep my head up. I never give up. I know I’ll get better next time so I can have another chance in the UFC.
As much as we tend to crucify (or at least condescend) fighters who bitch about their opponent’s gameplan in hindsight, Rocha kind of has a point here. Aside from the aforementioned trash talk Pierce was spouting leading up to the fight, his past two losses have come as the result of close split decisions. One could even argue that he deserved the nod in his loss to Josh Koscheck at UFC 143, so the fact that Pierce seemed all too content to ride out another decision against a relatively low-level guy like Rocha seems like kind of a weak move on his part. Plus, when the BJJ guy is complaining about not being hit enough, you know the fight must have sucked.
Then again, it takes two to tango, so if Rocha really wanted to do something to negate Pierce’s wall-n-stall tactics, perhaps he should have trained takedown defense and clinch work just a bit more in the months before the fight. In either case, at least he’s looking to the future and not dwelling on this loss for too long.
And hey, there’s always Strikeforce. They still have a welterweight division, right?
(Take it easy, Todd, it’s not like you’re Anthony Johnson or somethin’.)
We’ll give the fellas behind Super Fight League this, aside from their overly-lavish-yet-somehow-clusterfucked-production, their motocross-sized ring, and their pants-shittingly terrible theme song, they manage to book some intriguing matchups every now and again. Considering how green of a promotion SFL is, we’d almost consider throwing our support behind them if they didn’t insist on cancelling out those interesting matchups with ones involving Bob Sapp or Bobby Lashley on every other card. But today, we can put another check in the “You have our attention” column for the Indian promotion, as it has been announced that former UFC slugger Todd Duffee and Heavyweight submission/anarchy specialist Jeff Monson have been booked to throw down in the headlining bout of SFL’s fourth event.
Okay, so it’s not a match that will likely make your butthole pucker with excitement, but it’s a huge step up from their last headliner, and that counts for something, right?
We last saw the “official” record holder for fastest UFC knockout in action at Super Fight League’s second event, where he successfully knocked the poop out of Neil Grove in just over 30 seconds, snapping a two fight skidmark in the process. In case you haven’t noticed, the overarching theme of this article is all things related to feces. Just go with it.
Monson, on the other hand, is coming off a first round submission via North-South choke over Denis Komkin at the same M-1 Global event that saw Fedor Emelianenko nearly retire Pedro Rizzo from the waking world before announcing his own retirement from the sport shortly thereafter. Perhaps the most interesting angle of this match is that Monson has never been truly KO’d before, unless you count that time his ex-girlfriend nearly knocked him out of MMA competition for a decade by leaking those photos of him desecrating the Washington State Capitol building. In fact, Monson hasn’t even been finished in over 5 years (a third round TKO loss to Pedro Rizzo back in September of 2007), so Duffee can really make a statement if he is able to put away a guy like “The Snowman” considering not even Daniel Cormier was able to do so.
Videos of both fighter’s most recent performances are after the jump.
(Take it easy, Todd, it’s not like you’re Anthony Johnson or somethin’.)
We’ll give the fellas behind Super Fight League this, aside from their overly-lavish-yet-somehow-clusterfucked-production, their motocross-sized ring, and their pants-shittingly terrible theme song, they manage to book some intriguing matchups every now and again. Considering how green of a promotion SFL is, we’d almost consider throwing our support behind them if they didn’t insist on cancelling out those interesting matchups with ones involving Bob Sapp or Bobby Lashley on every other card. But today, we can put another check in the “You have our attention” column for the Indian promotion, as it has been announced that former UFC slugger Todd Duffee and Heavyweight submission/anarchy specialist Jeff Monson have been booked to throw down in the headlining bout of SFL’s fourth event.
Okay, so it’s not a match that will likely make your butthole pucker with excitement, but it’s a huge step up from their last headliner, and that counts for something, right?
We last saw the “official” record holder for fastest UFC knockout in action at Super Fight League’s second event, where he successfully knocked the poop out of Neil Grove in just over 30 seconds, snapping a two-fight skidmark in the process. In case you haven’t noticed, the overarching theme of this article is all things related to feces. Just go with it.
Monson, on the other hand, is coming off a first round submission via North-South choke over Denis Komkin at the same M-1 Global event that saw Fedor Emelianenko nearly retire Pedro Rizzo from the waking world before announcing his own retirement from the sport shortly thereafter. Perhaps the most interesting angle of this match is that Monson has never been truly KO’d before, unless you count that time his ex-girlfriend nearly knocked him out of MMA competition for a decade by leaking those photos of him desecrating the Washington State Capitol building. In fact, Monson hasn’t even been finished in over 5 years (a third round TKO loss to Pedro Rizzo back in September of 2007), so Duffee can really make a statement if he is able to put away a guy like “The Snowman” considering not even Daniel Cormier was able to do so.
Videos of both fighter’s most recent performances are after below.
Duffee vs. Grove (fight starts at the 4:25 mark)
Monson vs. Komkin
Super Fight League 4 is set to go down on September 8th in Bengaluru, India, and will also feature a clash between Olympic judoka gold medalist Satoshi Ishii and three time hot dog eating bronze medalist Jimmy Ambriz. So now you pretty much HAVE to watch this event.
