“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*
Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.
Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.
“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*
Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.
Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.
Dolce addressed Rampage’s comments about him over at BloodyElbow, and his version of the events plays out exactly as you’re assuming it does: Rampage feels he is the victim because Mike made him eat vegetables and didn’t want him to be such a fatass. You know, he was doing that thing that Rampage hired him to do. Clearly, Jackson’s tendencies to balloon up to 250+ pounds in between fights and not even try to take his career seriously are not at all to blame here, because that would imply that Rampage isn’t so much “the victim” as he is a whiner with a persecution complex.
I’d offer more insight here, but frankly, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones said all that needs to be said about Rampage in general on Wednesday’s edition of The Opie & Anthony Show, alongside fellow TUF coach Chael Sonnen:
If you’re only interested in Jones’ comments on Rampage, skip to the 5:05 mark, but know that you’re missing one hell of a segment.
“He’s a wuss. He has this tough guy persona, but he complains about anything that doesn’t go in his favor. ‘Oh, my contract. Oh, he wants to take me down, that’s not real fighting.’ He is such a baby,” said Jones. Something tells me that even the most stubborn Bones haters are nodding their heads in agreement right now.
Let’s make two things clear from the beginning: Vitor Belfort is an amazing fighter, and an equally terrible trash talker. He demonstrated both of these things on Saturday night, with both his brilliant finish of Michael Bisping and his callout of Jon Jones immediately afterwards.
Of course, Jon Jones is a little busy at the moment, getting ready for Chael Sonnen and all. Belfort addresses this by asking Dana White to “Take that clown away” so he could have his rematch with Jones instead of having Bones fight Sonnen in the spring.
No one is here to say that Belfort can’t beat Sonnen in the cage – especially at light-heavyweight – but “The Phenom” doesn’t exactly live up to his nickname when it comes to trash talking. Even though I wouldn’t count Belfort’s post-fight interview as a callout of Chael Sonnen, the clown comment definitely left a sour taste in his mouth. Sonnen wasted no time responding to Belfort’s comments, using his commentary gig on the post-event FUEL TV broadcast to issue the following statements:
Let’s make two things clear from the beginning: Vitor Belfort is an amazing fighter, and an equally terrible trash talker. He demonstrated both of these things on Saturday night, with both his brilliant finish of Michael Bisping and his callout of Jon Jones immediately afterwards.
Of course, Jon Jones is a little busy at the moment, getting ready for Chael Sonnen and all. Belfort addresses this by asking Dana White to “Take that clown away” so he could have his rematch with Jones instead of having Bones fight Sonnen in the spring.
No one is here to say that Belfort can’t beat Sonnen in the cage – especially at light-heavyweight – but “The Phenom” doesn’t exactly live up to his nickname when it comes to trash talking. Even though I wouldn’t count Belfort’s post-fight interview as a callout of Chael Sonnen, the clown comment definitely left a sour taste in his mouth. Sonnen wasted no time responding to Belfort’s comments, using his commentary gig on the post-event FUEL TV broadcast to issue the following statements:
“Well listen, let me be really clear and speak directly to you, Vitor. You’ve been telling the world that you want to meet Jesus, and I will gladly arrange that travel. But first I’m going to get rid of Jon Jones, but you are next,” said Sonnen. He acknowledged that he was impressed with Vitor’s performance in the cage, but made it clear that Vitor “is next.”
I hate to spoil the fun, but I highly doubt Belfort is next for Sonnen if he actually defeats Jon Jones (the winner of Gustafsson vs. Mousasi comes to mind). In reality, this fight makes much more sense if Sonnen were to lose.
When it comes to Belfort vs. Sonnen and Belfort vs. Jones II, both matchups seem unlikely to occur in the near future, but who are we to not play make-believe? Which fight would you look forward to more, and who wins it?
Those of you who watched Bellator’s debut on Spike TV – which drew in almost one million viewers, by the way – probably noticed a lack of upcoming advertised squash fights. No, I’m not just typing that as a way of reminding everyone that Renato “Babalu” Sobral and Seth Petruzelli were both eliminated from the light-heavyweight tournament. Rather, you may have noticed that Bellator didn’t announce any non-title super fights for the promotion’s champions.
Those of you who watched Bellator’s debut on Spike TV – which drew in almost one million viewers, by the way – probably noticed a lack of upcoming advertised squash fights. No, I’m not just typing that as a way of reminding everyone that Renato “Babalu” Sobral and Seth Petruzelli were both eliminated from the light-heavyweight tournament. Rather, you may have noticed that Bellator didn’t announce any non-title super fights for the promotion’s champions.
The only benefit that such fights offered was that the promotion didn’t have to worry about keeping its champions inactive. Fighters need to earn paychecks just like everyone else, and fighting only once per year severely hinders their ability to do that. Don’t worry though, Bjorn Rebney is assuring viewers that champions will now be fighting more often to compensate for the bans. As MMAFrenzy reported:
“Our champions will be defending very regularly, on a consistent basis, because we have all the tournaments we need now. There are a lot of incredible world title fights that we’ll get to see,” added Rebney when asked about the title picture.
“It’s the format I had in my head many years ago, and this is the way it was supposed to work.”
So, instead of watching Bellator’s champions take on journeymen and gatekeepers, we’ll get to watch them consistently defend their titles against the winners of their division’s tournaments. It’s a welcome improvement.
Sheesh, Randy and Chuck have really been hitting the Centrum Silver since they retired, huh?
Ever since the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act was passed in 1994, athletes have been aware that there may be more than just protein in the tubs of powder and bottles of pills found in their local grocery stores. The supplement industry isn’t exactly known for its history of ethical practices, and the deregulation of it has unsurprisingly caused manufacturers to push the limits of what can be snuck into their products. It’s widely been accepted that any supplement one purchases — be it the pre-workout stimulant that a personal trainer recommended or the “hardcore” testosterone booster that the local meathead swears is responsible for his 300+ pound frame — can result in a failed drug test, and that any athlete who uses supplements does so at his or her own risk.
Yet if you’ve followed this sport — or any sport, for that matter — for at least one week, you’re already sick of what’s been dubbed The Tainted Supplements Defense. You know the story by heart, and can recite it word-for-word before the athlete even issues a statement on the failed test: An athlete gets busted with a banned substance in his or her system, claims that an over-the-counter product is responsible for the failed drug test, swears that he or she would never resort to taking steroids, wishes that he or she never took the supplements before the fight and promises that it will never happen again. It’s just likely enough to be true, yet just unfalsifiable enough for a reasonable fan to reject.
Which is just one of many reasons why I am cordially inviting anyone blaming a failed drug test on an over-the-counter supplement to fucking stop doing so from this point forward. No matter what variation of the excuse you’re using, your excuse is bad, and you should feel bad. Let’s start off with the most popular variation:
Sheesh, Randy and Chuck have really been hitting the Centrum Silver since they retired, huh?
Ever since the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act was passed in 1994, athletes have been aware that there may be more than just protein in the tubs of powder and bottles of pills found in their local grocery stores. The supplement industry isn’t exactly known for its history of ethical practices, and the deregulation of it has unsurprisingly caused manufacturers to push the limits of what can be snuck into their products. It’s widely been accepted that any supplement one purchases — be it the pre-workout stimulant that a personal trainer recommended or the “hardcore” testosterone booster that the local meathead swears is responsible for his 300+ pound frame — can result in a failed drug test, and that any athlete who uses supplements does so at his or her own risk.
Yet if you’ve followed this sport — or any sport, for that matter — for at least one week, you’re already sick of what’s been dubbed The Tainted Supplements Defense. You know the story by heart, and can recite it word-for-word before the athlete even issues a statement on the failed test: An athlete gets busted with a banned substance in his or her system, claims that an over-the-counter product is responsible for the failed drug test, swears that he or she would never resort to taking steroids, wishes that he or she never took the supplements before the fight and promises that it will never happen again. It’s just likely enough to be true, yet just unfalsifiable enough for a reasonable fan to reject.
Which is just one of many reasons why I am cordially inviting anyone blaming a failed drug test on an over-the-counter supplement to fucking stop doing so from this point forward. No matter what variation of the excuse you’re using, your excuse is bad, and you should feel bad. Let’s start off with the most popular variation:
“My supplements must have been tainted!” – The tried-and-true tainted supplements defense is by far the most unfalsifiable, yet least improbable option of the group. With roughly eighteen percent of bodybuilding supplements estimated to be tainted, it makes sense that a fighter might unknowingly purchase tainted supplements that cause them to piss hot for the steroids that MMA fighters are known to take. You know what also makes sense? That maybe, just maybe, the guy found with Winstrol in his system has been using Winstrol.
It’s like Slate recently published: “If I were a doper, I’d be sure to have a medicine cabinet full of supplements — ones that claim to produce the same results as my drugs. Then, if I ever tested positive for doping, I’d have a plausible excuse.” The MMA community is a pretty cynical group of people who won’t believe anyone using such a convenient defense. With all of the trainers, nutritionists, fellow fighters, doctors; etc. that professional fighters interact with on a daily basis, are you really expecting us to believe that not one of them warned you about what you’re putting into your body, or what supplements have caused innocent fighters to fail drug tests before?
“I had no idea this over-the counter-product could cause me to fail a drug test!” – Really? Because pretty much every busted athlete fucking ever has only been using over-the-counter products, so I imagine that you’ve at least heard that this could happen. But I digress.
The thing about designer steroids is that pretty much all of them say right on the fucking bottle that they’ll cause you to fail a drug test. So that whole ”being responsible for what goes into your body” thing? Yeah, it’s about ten-times more applicable when all you have to do is know how to read in order to avoid taking a banned substance.
And for the supplements that don’t explicitly warn you that they contain banned ingredients? Allow me to introduce a 20-Word Checklist for Knowing if You Should Take a Supplement: Read the ingredients. Do you feel you need a chemistry degree to understand them? Google the ingredients before purchasing it.
Yeah, I know: It’s totally unfair that the person making a living off of his or her athleticism is expected to know about what goes into his or her body. Just like how it’s totally unfair that I’m expected to write in complete sentences and spell words correctly. Deal with it.
“I had no idea what I was taking!” – This one is usually heard in combination with one of the above defenses, but it’s preposterous enough to merit its own ban. For starters, taking pills without knowing what they do is a serious sign that you have a drug problem, so, you know, there’s that. Also, your own boss has called bullshit on this excuse, so there’s absolutely no reason for anyone else to buy it.
The bottom line is that no matter what variation of the over-the-counter supplement excuse you use, it’s extremely weak at best and downright bullshit at worst. Save everyone the time, admit you screwed up and let’s move on. Who knows, fans might even forgive you for doing so.
I’ll be completely honest: I didn’t watch Strikeforce’s farewell card live last night. I recorded it, and watched it when I was done watching football. Am I just that dedicated of a 49ers/Packers fan? Not quite; last night was the first time I watched either team play all season. Rather, my mentality was that I haven’t been changing my schedule to accommodate Strikeforce events for the past two years now [Author Note: Damn, was the buyout really two years ago already? Time flies when you’re watching something die.], so why start now for the promotion’s grand finale.
Reading through the collection of Strikeforce tributes online, it’s obvious that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Articles and tweets about the demise of Strikeforce have been respectful, but not overly-sentimental, and the comments sections of various liveblogs covering the event didn’t exactly blow up for the occasion. There were none of the regrets, what-nows and what-could-have-beens that usually come along with failed business ventures – just a few awkward goodbyes as Zuffa prepared to pull the plug on the machine that no longer served any purpose.
And honestly, why would anyone other than Strikeforce’s employees, fighters and Scott Coker feel any differently? The death of Strikeforce doesn’t mark the end of a promotion that has been pumping out relevant fights for the past two years. It isn’t the death of an alternative option for fighters not wanting to sign with Zuffa. It isn’t the even the end of free MMA on basic cable.
I guess it would be different if this card was stacked with the fighters who made Strikeforce Strikeforce, such as Cung Le, Nick Diaz, Alistair Overeem, Ronda Rousey, Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold, but they’ve either been assimilated into the UFC by now or they’ve pulled out of the event due to injury/apathy. Instead, this card served as one final night of squash fights – one of which actually ended differently than you may have expected.
I’ll be completely honest: I didn’t watch Strikeforce’s farewell card live last night. I recorded it, and watched it when I was done watching football. Am I just that dedicated of a 49ers/Packers fan? Not quite; last night was the first time I watched either team play all season. Rather, my mentality was that I haven’t been changing my schedule to accommodate Strikeforce events for the past two years now [Author Note: Damn, was the buyout really two years ago already? Time flies when you’re watching something die.], so why start now for the promotion’s grand finale.
Reading through the collection of Strikeforce tributes online, it’s obvious that I’m not the only one feeling this way. Articles and tweets about the demise of Strikeforce have been respectful, but not overly-sentimental, and the comments sections of various liveblogs covering the event didn’t exactly blow up for the occasion. There were none of the regrets, what-nows and what-could-have-beens that usually come along with failed business ventures – just a few awkward goodbyes as Zuffa prepared to pull the plug on the machine that no longer served any purpose.
And honestly, why would anyone other than Strikeforce’s employees, fighters and Scott Coker feel any differently? The death of Strikeforce doesn’t mark the end of a promotion that has been pumping out relevant fights for the past two years. It isn’t the death of an alternative option for fighters not wanting to sign with Zuffa. It isn’t the even the end of free MMA on basic cable.
I guess it would be different if this card was stacked with the fighters who made Strikeforce Strikeforce, such as Cung Le, Nick Diaz, Alistair Overeem, Ronda Rousey, Gilbert Melendez and Luke Rockhold, but they’ve either been assimilated into the UFC by now or they’ve pulled out of the event due to injury/apathy. Instead, this card served as one final night of squash fights – one of which actually ended differently than you may have expected.
So let’s talk about the upset on the main card. Tarec Saffiedine shocked us all not simply by defeating Nate Marquardt, but rather, by how easily he managed to do so. Saffiedine made effective usage of his crisp striking by absolutely battering Nate the Great throughout the bout, peppering Marquardt with leg kicks until his leg resembled Junior Dos Santos’ face. Saffiedine felt he needed to win in order to get an offer from the UFC, and it showed in his effort. Saffiedine’s conditioning, game plan and overall performance was far more convincing than Marquardt’s output last night, plain and simple.
And for those of you preparing for MMA Jeopardy, yes, Tarec Saffiedine is officially the final welterweight champion in Strikeforce history.
As for the rest of the card, there isn’t much to honestly say. We knew Cormier was going destroy what’s his name, and he did. Cormier may have been too ambitious with his callouts of both Frank Mir and Jon Jones after the fight, but if he gets past Frank Mir, I know I’m not the only person who is curious to see how he would do at 205. The fact that Josh Barnett was sick throughout fight week, yet still utterly dominated the big, scary-looking Nandor Guelmino was a testament to both Barnett’s skills and the lopsided nature of this matchup. Don’t get too excited about seeing Barnett back in the UFC though; it doesn’t sound like he’s in a rush to sign back on. Gegard Mousasi choked Mike Kyle into retirement in a little over four minutes, while Jacare Souza kicked off the night by locking UFC-loaned jobber Ed Herman in a kimura in just three minutes and ten seconds.
It wasn’t exactly the most glamorous way for Strikeforce to have gone out – and it certainly wasn’t the preferable way – but Strikeforce went out on the highest possible low note. The fights may have been squash matches of little significance, but damn it, they were at least fun to watch, so that has to count for something. Fun fights that don’t really matter in the long run – if that’s not Zuffa-owned Strikeforce in a nutshell, then what is?
Farewell, Strikeforce. You did what you could with what you had to work with, for the few people who still cared in the end. Now, back to business as usual.
Full Results
Main Card:
Tarec Saffiedine def. Nate Marquardt via unanimous decision
Daniel Cormier def. Dion Staring via TKO (punches), 4:02 of Round Two
Josh Barnett def. Nandor Guelmino via submission (arm-triangle), 2:11 of Round One
Gegard Mousasi def. Mike Kyle via submission (rear-naked choke), 4:09 of Round One
Ronaldo Souza def. Ed Herman via submission (Kimura), 3:10 of Round One
Preliminary Card:
Pat Healy def. Kurt Holobaugh via unanimous decision
Roger Gracie def. Anthony Smith via submission (arm-triangle), 3:16 of Round Two
Tim Kennedy def. Trevor Smith via sumission (guillotine), 1:36 of Round Three
Ryan Couture def. K.J. Noons via split decision
Adriano Martins def. Jorge Gurgel vie unanimous decision
Estevan Payan def. Mike Bravo via TKO (strikes), 4:01 in Round Two
DREAM 18 wasn’t the only Japanese MMA event on New Year’s Eve. Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye 2012 – a hybrid MMA/Pro-wrestling card – also provided the MMA community with some freak show goodness. We’ve been putting off coverage of this event until videos surfaced because frankly, when the main event features a post-prime Cro Cop vs. a disgraced sumo wrestler turned professional wrestler, well, yeah, this event can wait a few days.
The main event, Cro Cop vs. Suzukawa, proved that no matter how far past his prime he is, Cro Cop can still submit a clueless jabroni making his MMA debut. In other words, it was a decent freak show fight that played out exactly as it should have. It just wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without a freak show fight, now would it?
DREAM 18 wasn’t the only Japanese MMA event on New Year’s Eve. Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye 2012 – a hybrid MMA/Pro-wrestling card – also provided the MMA community with some freak show goodness. We’ve been putting off coverage of this event until videos surfaced because frankly, when the main event features a post-prime Cro Cop vs. a disgraced sumo wrestler turned professional wrestler, well, yeah, this event can wait a few days.
The main event, Cro Cop vs. Suzukawa, proved that no matter how far past his prime he is, Cro Cop can still submit a clueless jabroni making his MMA debut. In other words, it was a decent freak show fight that played out exactly as it should have. It just wouldn’t be New Year’s Eve without a freak show fight, now would it?
My favorite moment from this one comes around the 1:40 mark, when Ishii pushes Sylvia across the ring attempting a takedown. No one is here to say that judo doesn’t work against larger opponents, but Ishii found that it’s certainly much more difficult to implement when your opponent is a 300+ pounds of fat, ribs and lousy tattoos. Probably the best instance of a fighter being confused by his freaky opponent’s fatness since Minowaman vs. Butterbean.
Speaking of Minowaman, he fought on New Year’s Eve, as is tradition. His opponent was middleweight “Playbor” Bor Bratovz. Okay, so it wasn’t a freak show fight, but Minowa managed to defeat someone his own size, which is almost as impressive. He picks up a heel-hook in the first round of this one.
Rolles Gracie also defeated Yusuke Kawaguchi two minutes into the first round of their fight by arm-triangle choke. You’re on your own for a video of that one, though. Enjoy the freak shows.
