(See, Viacom? There ARE some things that are too stupid for pro-wrestling fans to watch.)
Remember when we told you guys on Sunday that Bellator is going through some hard times before its (extremely misguided) inaugural PPV? Well, with a brand new episode of TNA Impact scheduled to air tonight, we decided to look into how Viacom’s other promotion is doing. Try not to act too surprised, but here’s the short version of the story:
Believe it or not, the professional wrestling outfit that’s been repackaged as an infomercial for an MMA PPV that no one cares about is in some pretty dire straights. Over the course of the past year, TNA Impact has been making some drastic budget cuts, which have included firing numerous young prospects and veteran wrestlers alike (leading to somehilarioussatiricalstories from Kayfabe News). Okay, no problem with trimming the fat, right? Well, once main players in the company start getting cut, it’s not exactly a good sign. Follow us after the jump, and we’ll explain…
(See, Viacom? There ARE some things that are too stupid for pro-wrestling fans to watch.)
Remember when we told you guys on Sunday that Bellator is going through some hard times before its (extremely misguided) inaugural PPV? Well, with a brand new episode of TNA Impact scheduled to air tonight, we decided to look into how Viacom’s other promotion is doing. Try not to act too surprised, but here’s the short version of the story:
Believe it or not, the professional wrestling outfit that’s been repackaged as an infomercial for an MMA PPV that no one cares about is in some pretty dire straights. Over the course of the past year, TNA Impact has been making some drastic budget cuts, which have included firing numerous young prospects and veteran wrestlers alike (leading to somehilarioussatiricalstories from Kayfabe News). Okay, no problem with trimming the fat, right? Well, once main players in the company start getting cut, it’s not exactly a good sign.
Two weeks ago, TNA Impact actually had to fire Hulk Hogan as a cost cutting measure. On the surface, Hogan’s dismissal from the company has been long overdue — he’s an overpaid sixty year old being used as an on-air authority figure because he physically can’t wrestle anymore. But for TNA Impact to finally part ways with the guy? Brother, that’d be like Dana White firing Chuck Liddell from his vaguely-defined job; even though it would make sense financially, it would never happen unless the company was circling the drain.
To make matters worse, the promotion’s first show without Hulk Hogan since 2009 only managed to bring in only 1.08 million viewers last Thursday, which is nearly an all-time low for the promotion. To put that into perspective, more people watched a midnight rerun of Pawn Stars than TNA Impact. But they did manage to pull in a few more viewers than an American Dad rerun that aired at 1:30 in the morning, so that’s a plus, I guess.
I’m not writing that the situation is hopeless, but I am writing that it may very well be hopeless if Bellator’s pay-per-view flops. Viacom has invested the futures of both promotions into this card. If it doesn’t end well, it’ll take more than Tim Sylvia to fix the ensuing fiasco.
Last night’s instance of poor sportsmanship and judgment from Palhares wasn’t his first. As we’ve mentioned earlier today, Palhares was previously suspended by the UFC for doing the exact same thing to Tomasz Drwal back in 2010.
Despite initial reports that Palhares has received a lifetime ban from the organization, MMAFighting.com is reporting that Palhares has simply been “released.”
We’ll keep you up to date as this story continues to develop.
Last night’s instance of poor sportsmanship and judgment from Palhares wasn’t his first. As we’ve mentioned earlier today, Palhares was previously suspended by the UFC for doing the exact same thing to Tomasz Drwal back in 2010.
Despite initial reports that Palhares has received a lifetime ban from the organization, MMAFighting.com is reporting that Palhares has simply been “released.”
We’ll keep you up to date as this story continues to develop.
You know how broken-down, piece-of-shit houses are often advertised as “handyman’s specials“? Well, tomorrow’s UFC Fight Night 29 event in Barueri is a “grappler’s wet dream,” headlined by two welterweights known for bringing it to the mat and keeping it there for AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!! (Just trying to stay positive here, guys.) Non-Baruerians can watch the action on FOX Sports 1, and we’ll be livebogging the main card starting at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT.
To keep you current on all the important themes surrounding “Maia vs. Shields,” it’s time for CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and staff writer Seth Falvo to engage in some spirited debate. So how will the main event play out? What’s the best way to make money off the fights? Which fighter on the card is talented enough to be a future Bellator tournament semi-finalist? And which funny GIF will show up at the end of this post? Read on, and please toss your own opinions in the comments section.
Will Demian Maia‘s main event fight against Jake Shields go any differently than his last win against Jon Fitch? And are you already sold on Maia as a future welterweight title contender?
BG: Not all boring grapplers are the same. There can be subtle differences between boring grapplers. Jon Fitch is a guy whose single-minded focus is to take you down and lay on you until the fight ends. Jake Shields will take you down and try to submit you first, and if that’s not working out, then he’ll lay on you until the fight ends.
Here’s another difference — Fitch seems to lose a couple belt-ranks when his opponent manages to scramble onto his back. (Maia and BJ Penn were both able to hang out in back control for long stretches against Fitch, who defended himself well against rear-naked chokes, but was otherwise stuck in position.) Shields tends to be a little more active on the mat than Fitch both offensively and defensively, and unlike Fitch, Jake Shields has never been submitted in his entire career.
I see two possible outcomes here: 1) Maia and Shields recognize each other’s grappling abilities, and proceed to put on the sloppiest, stupidest kickboxing match in recent UFC history. 2) Shields tries to play jiu-jitsu with Maia, and it doesn’t work out too well for him. Either way, I’ve got the Brazilian by decision. Now would that firmly establish Maia as a title threat? Maybe not. Keep in mind that all of Maia’s opponents during his UFC welterweight run have been wrestlers. Give him the winner of UFC 167’s Robbie Lawler vs. Rory MacDonald bout after this one, and we’ll see how he handles himself in the deep end of the pool, against guys with the power to turn him upside-down.
SF: Glad to see I’m not the only person around here who has drank more than enough of the Demian Maia Kool-Aid; I’m already sold on him as a legitimate contender. But are we seriously writing off Jake Shields this easily?
I’m not about to write that Jake Shields has great striking or anything, but for a one-dimensional grappler, his Muay Thai is better than it has any business being. Yeah, I know — that’s like writing that The Wrestling Boot Band weren’t that terrible or that Pepsi Jazz was sort-of drinkable — but I’m not ready to say the same thing about Maia. Point being, if this fight stays on the feet, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see Jake Shields walk away victorious. And, who knows, Jake may even violate a CagePotato Ban and win by bringing back the old Jake Shields tomorrow night. Anything can happen in a cage fight, bro.
Looking at the gambling odds for this event, what’s the single smartest wager you could make?
You know how broken-down, piece-of-shit houses are often advertised as “handyman’s specials“? Well, tomorrow’s UFC Fight Night 29 event in Barueri is a “grappler’s wet dream,” headlined by two welterweights known for bringing it to the mat and keeping it there for AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!! (Just trying to stay positive here, guys.) Non-Baruerians can watch the action on FOX Sports 1, and we’ll be livebogging the main card starting at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT.
To keep you current on all the important themes surrounding “Maia vs. Shields,” it’s time for CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and staff writer Seth Falvo to engage in some spirited debate. So how will the main event play out? What’s the best way to make money off the fights? Which fighter on the card is talented enough to be a future Bellator tournament semi-finalist? And which funny GIF will show up at the end of this post? Read on, and please toss your own opinions in the comments section.
Will Demian Maia‘s main event fight against Jake Shields go any differently than his last win against Jon Fitch? And are you already sold on Maia as a future welterweight title contender?
BG: Not all boring grapplers are the same. There can be subtle differences between boring grapplers. Jon Fitch is a guy whose single-minded focus is to take you down and lay on you until the fight ends. Jake Shields will take you down and try to submit you first, and if that’s not working out, then he’ll lay on you until the fight ends.
Here’s another difference — Fitch seems to lose a couple belt-ranks when his opponent manages to scramble onto his back. (Maia and BJ Penn were both able to hang out in back control for long stretches against Fitch, who defended himself well against rear-naked chokes, but was otherwise stuck in position.) Shields tends to be a little more active on the mat than Fitch both offensively and defensively, and unlike Fitch, Jake Shields has never been submitted in his entire career.
I see two possible outcomes here: 1) Maia and Shields recognize each other’s grappling abilities, and proceed to put on the sloppiest, stupidest kickboxing match in recent UFC history. 2) Shields tries to play jiu-jitsu with Maia, and it doesn’t work out too well for him. Either way, I’ve got the Brazilian by decision. Now would that firmly establish Maia as a title threat? Maybe not. Keep in mind that all of Maia’s opponents during his UFC welterweight run have been wrestlers. Give him the winner of UFC 167’s Robbie Lawler vs. Rory MacDonald bout after this one, and we’ll see how he handles himself in the deep end of the pool, against guys with the power to turn him upside-down.
SF: Glad to see I’m not the only person around here who has drank more than enough of the Demian Maia Kool-Aid; I’m already sold on him as a legitimate contender. But are we seriously writing off Jake Shields this easily?
I’m not about to write that Jake Shields has great striking or anything, but for a one-dimensional grappler, his Muay Thai is better than it has any business being. Yeah, I know — that’s like writing that The Wrestling Boot Band weren’t that terrible or that Pepsi Jazz was sort-of drinkable — but I’m not ready to say the same thing about Maia. Point being, if this fight stays on the feet, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see Jake Shields walk away victorious. And, who knows, Jake may even violate a CagePotato Ban and win by bringing back the old Jake Shields tomorrow night. Anything can happen in a cage fight, bro.
Looking at the gambling odds for this event, what’s the single smartest wager you could make?
BG: Smartest wager? Buddy, you’re talking to the wrong guy. I’m a sucker for ridiculous underdogs, and my lifetime success rate is currently hovering right above 0%. So before we get into “smart” bets, let me just point out that Dong Hyun Kim is a +220 underdog against Erick Silva, who is a strong favorite here because he’s handsome, I guess? Seriously, DHK wrestle-fuck all day.
Now, if you’re looking for a bet that’s fiscally sound but feels risky enough to give you that adrenaline rush of actual, degenerate gambling, I like to go with the old two-fight parlay: Pick two favorites who you feel comfortable with, and stack ‘em together. Give me TJ Dillashaw from the currently-unstoppable Team Alpha Male crew, who’s sitting at -225 against Raphael Assuncao, and the aforementioned Demian Maia, who’s listed around -270. A $10 parlay bet at BetUS returns $9.23 in profit if they both win — damn-near even money for a damn-near sure thing.
SF: What lovely, practical advice you’ve just given out, Ben. Now, if you’re done being intelligent and placing sensible bets, your majesty, I have a mortgage payment that I’d like to throw away on grown men punching each other.
Jake Shields is just underrated enough to be an attractive option at +210, so I’ll gladly be a total contrarian asshole and include him in my parlay, thank you very much. The other guy in my parlay? Allan freakin’ Patrick. I’ve never seen him fight before, but he’s undefeated, he’s Brazilian, and his opponent can best be described as “Some Guy, whatever, fuck you.” All of this makes him the perfect, yet incredibly rare combination of “totally safe bet” and “complete shot in the dark.” The $32.92 that my ten bucks would make off of this parlay certainly helps his case, too. Hell, something tells me that I’d have a crippling gambling addiction if I didn’t place my next few paychecks on this…
Which fighter is most likely to show up in Bellator after this event?
SF: My gut instinct is to take the easy route, pick Thiago Silva, and throw in a semi-related GIF at some point, as is tradition. I’m sure if I spent some time researching statistics or finding out if Facebook preliminaries are still a thing, I’d have a different opinion. But I didn’t earn the reputation of “talentless hack” by doing that stuff, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, so Thiago Silva it is
Silva is dangerously deep into Fitch/Okami territory. He’s talented enough to be a perennial “Top 10″ guy, but not enough to actually hold a belt — and he comes with a much heftier price tag than the other gatekeepers on the roster. Sure, his fan-friendly style would be an incentive to keep him around, if it weren’t for how disturbingly often the guy shoots himself in the foot (figuratively speaking [for now]). Another loss/failed drug test for Thiago Silva, and he may very well find himself under the bright lights of Viacom MMA.
BG: You’re assuming that Thiago Silva will lose to Matt Hamill, a guy with very little to offer in the year 2013, who unwisely came out of a very wise retirement and who hasn’t looked impressive since he KO’d Mark Munoz four and a half years ago. I say Silva wins that fight, so screw you.
Let’s be real: Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran will decide the unofficial winner of the Season Nine Bellator Light-Heavyweight Tournament. It’s perfect. They’re both sluggers with losing records in the UFC. You’ve heard of them, but you don’t particularly care about them. One of them is a disgraced steroid cheat. And Bellator’s light-heavyweight division is even shallower than the rest of their shallow divisions, so they could use the warm bodies.
Maldonado vs. Beltran is a classic matchup of a technical boxer vs. a let-me-bang-bro brawler, and I see “The Mexicutioner” losing a unanimous decision after being picked apart over three rounds. He will be fired by the UFC on Monday morning, and signed by Bellator on Wednesday. He will eventually be TKO’d by Attila Vegh, then test positive for steroids again and retire for three months before showing up in XARM. Hillary Clinton wins the 2016 presidential election, but it’s a close one. There’s a recount, and hostilities between the two major U.S. political parties grow even deeper and more overt. A civil war breaks out. The nuclear silos in Iowa self-destruct. Eventually, what’s left of the United States falls under the control of a shadowy dictator known only as “The Beekeeper.” Dana White dies peacefully in his sleep at the age of 112.
Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill…is this matchup depressing to anybody else, or is it just me?
SF: That GIF I owe you guys? Yeah, I figured I’d sit on it until I was asked a question that made me feel completely empty inside. So, you know…
BG: Basically, we’ve got a stoner and a deaf retiree trying to beat the shit out of each other in front of a bunch of unwashed foreigners. I know it sounds like the premise of a new Seth MacFarlane sitcom, but this is an actual UFC main card fight. Play us off, Morgan…
(You call that a paint job? Give me my five bucks back, Ken. / Photo via Getty)
Shocking as this may be, UFC flyweight Ian McCall – a man who calls himself “Uncle Creepy” and models his image after that of a man who keeps a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in his back pocket at all times – isn’t always careful about what he tweets. In the past, he used Twitter to share the story about that time his wife cheated on him with Rob Emerson, which had to make things all sorts of awkward for his followers to see on their timelines. And yesterday, McCall accidentally offended many of his followers by sharing what appeared to be his views on homelessness. Spoiler alert: His tweet didn’t exactly portray the homeless in a favorable light.
Well, that was unnecessarily harsh. Naturally, his followers began to call him out for the tweet, so McCall went on to clarify that he doesn’t hate most of the homeless – he only hates the homeless drug addicts, mostly because he used to be one himself.
(You call that a paint job? Give me my five bucks back, Ken. / Photo via Getty)
Shocking as this may be, UFC flyweight Ian McCall – a man who calls himself “Uncle Creepy” and models his image after that of a man who keeps a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in his back pocket at all times – isn’t always careful about what he tweets. In the past, he used Twitter to share the story about that time his wife cheated on him with Rob Emerson, which had to make things all sorts of awkward for his followers to see on their timelines. And yesterday, McCall accidentally offended many of his followers by sharing what appeared to be his views on homelessness. Spoiler alert: His tweet didn’t exactly portray the homeless in a favorable light.
Well, that was unnecessarily harsh. Naturally, his followers began to call him out for the tweet, so McCall went on to clarify that he doesn’t hate most of the homeless – he only hates the homeless drug addicts, mostly because he used to be one himself.
I was having a shitty day and some junkie was talking shit to me and i took it to twitter. I have nothing against the homeless I dont even know why i used that word, it has nothing to do with psychiatric people or PTSD people. Anyone that knows me knows how much charity work i do. I just had a problem with this junkie talking shit to me and i apologize to everyone that i said that. I used to have a drug problem now i despise junkies. I’m sorry for offending anyone it came off as a total asshole thing to say and for that i am sorry.
No offense intended, but a homeless drug addict said some unsavory things about him, and he was actually offended? Either that homeless junkie talks shit at a world class level, or McCall cares waaaayyyyy too much about what other people think; especially for a guy who uses “@Unclecreepymma” as his Twitter handle. I hope he has never looked at this website before; we can kinda be assholes every now and then.
(Taktarov vs. Kerr, as promoted by Bob Meyrowitz. If this doesn’t embody everything about today’s discussion, then what *does*? Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)
It was thirty-three years ago today that the absolutely tragic bout between Muhammad Ali and Larry Holmes went down — where a younger, far more athletic Larry Holmes beat the aging legend so badly that he actually cried for Ali when it was over. Though Ali is still celebrated as one of the greatest fighters of all time, his legacy has never been the same as it could have been if he simply stayed retired. It’s in memory of this fight that we’ll be talking about falls from grace during today’s roundtable: fighters who stuck around far too long, lost some embarrassing bouts as a result and tarnished their once-great legacies. Read on for our picks, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to[email protected].
Tim Sylvia: A name once synonymous with greatness, excitement, and extraordinary physique. Once atop the Mount Olympus of the sport, he reigned supreme over lesser beings for roughly four years, vanquishing the best of the best in his weight class. OK, so maybe I’m exaggerating here. So maybe Tim Sylvia was never exactly a world beater; he was awkward, plodding, fat, had no real ground game to speak of and was the UFC heavyweight champion when all the best fighters in the division were busy competing across the Pacific ocean.
But for all that, he was the heavyweight champion. He even had sex with his greatest rival’s ex-girlfriend. (Leading to this glorious interview with said rival, Andrei Arlovski.) He was relatively wealthy, at least compared to other fighters. Point being, he had achieved all someone who came into this world as Tim Sylvia could possibly hope to achieve. Even once he had lost the title, he still retained the respect that was deservedly owed to him.
(Taktarov vs. Kerr, as promoted by Bob Meyrowitz. If this doesn’t embody everything about today’s discussion, then what *does*? Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)
It was thirty-three years ago today that the absolutely tragic bout between Muhammad Ali and Larry Holmes went down — where a younger, far more athletic Larry Holmes beat the aging legend so badly that he actually cried for Ali when it was over. Though Ali is still celebrated as one of the greatest fighters of all time, his legacy has never been the same as it could have been if he simply stayed retired. It’s in memory of this fight that we’ll be talking about falls from grace during today’s roundtable: fighters who stuck around far too long, lost some embarrassing bouts as a result and tarnished their once-great legacies. Read on for our picks, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to[email protected].
Tim Sylvia: A name once synonymous with greatness, excitement, and extraordinary physique. Once atop the Mount Olympus of the sport, he reigned supreme over lesser beings for roughly four years, vanquishing the best of the best in his weight class. OK, so maybe I’m exaggerating here. So maybe Tim Sylvia was never exactly a world beater; he was awkward, plodding, fat, had no real ground game to speak of and was the UFC heavyweight champion when all the best fighters in the division were busy competing across the Pacific ocean.
But for all that, he was the heavyweight champion. He even had sex with his greatest rival’s ex-girlfriend. (Leading to this glorious interview with said rival, Andrei Arlovski.) He was relatively wealthy, at least compared to other fighters. Point being, he had achieved all someone who came into this world as Tim Sylvia could possibly hope to achieve. Even once he had lost the title, he still retained the respect that was deservedly owed to him.
After those humiliating 36 seconds, Sylvia was never the same. He came into his next fight, against former boxing champion Ray Mercer, weighing over 310 pounds. After an apparent gentlemen’s agreement was reached to only throw punches, Sylvia proceeded to open the fight with a leg kick. Mercer, who has previously suffered a defeat to Kimbo Slice and had no weapons beyond his hands, proceeded to knock Sylvia out cold. Sylvia has spent the rest of his career fighting nobodies at super heavyweight, with the one exception being another rematch against Arlovksi, which ended in a no-contest after Arlovski illegally soccer kicked him. (The rules for this fight were, let’s just say, murky.)
If you remain unconvinced Sylvia represents MMA’s furthest fall from grace, consider this. If you type in “Tim Sylvia” in Google, the first auto-suggestion is “Tim Sylvia shits himself.” That sentence will one day be inscribed upon his tombstone as a testament to all who tread there that as low as they find themselves, it’s probably not as low as Tim Sylvia has fallen.
I get that the idea behind these roundtables is to present a question that each of us attempt to “answer” as objectively as possible, with talks of “floor turds” and “garbage asses” abound, but to claim that anyone in MMA has fallen further than Ken Shamrock is to turn a blind eye to the facts, plain and simple.
Ken Shamrock is the soggiest, slipperiest floor turd of them all, a floor turd dropped from the foulest, most wretched garbage ass known to man. And worse, he’s a perpetual two-flusher — a turd that simply continues to cling to an otherwise pristine bowl in bits and pieces, no matter how hard you scrub or attempt to knock him off with a particularly strong stream of urine. The Bristol Stool Scale would label Shamrock a Type 6 turd — a mushy, fluffy, not-even-a-real-turd turd; a classification made all the more depressing when you take into consideration that Shamrock was once a fibrous, healthy, Type 3 turd that we all aspire to someday be.
But the point of these roundtables is not only to convince our fellow writers that they are wrong — which they undeniably are, in this case — but to convince you readers that we are right. So I ask unto you, Potato Nation: Have any of the other candidates on this list been guilty of the following?
The Gracie family has to be mentioned in any discussion about falling from grace. They went from being synonymous with victory and with MMA itself to being synonymous with being one-dimensional dinosaurs that can’t beat journeymen.
To understand how bad their fall from grace is, let’s start from when the Gracies took the world by storm: UFC 1.
Not many people knew about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu heading into UFC 1. That was partially by design, since the Gracie family — the savvy marketers that they are — called their art “Gracie Jiu-Jitsu.” So the average American who hasn’t heard of grappling arts sits down to watch UFC 1 and then sees a scrawny Brazilian dude in pajamas steamroll over people twice his size, including a roided-up Ken Shamrock.
To prove that winning the tournament was no fluke, Royce Gracie provided an encore at UFC 2. He withdrew from the UFC 3 tournament after a victorious match with chemically-enhanced Jesus freak Kimo Leopoldo exhausted him, but Gracie returned at UFC 4 and again won the tournament.
“Gracie Jiu-Jitsu” was on fire, the Gracie family was on fire. They became part of MMA’s burgeoning mythology. To the layman, the Gracies were an undefeated family of adept warriors who could crush anyone (despite the undefeated claim being patentlyfalse) and who practically invented grappling (also false; ground-fighting was older than dirt). This was the high point for the Gracie family, and it didn’t last long.
Sakuraba, a talented Japanese wrestler/submission fighter, systematically dismantled the Gracie family, and in doing so proved that the Gracie air of invincibility was just smoke and mirrors. Sakuraba first defeated Royler Gracie at PRIDE 8 in 1999. But his two most notable wins over Gracies were his 90-minute fight with Royce Gracie at the Pride 2000 Grand Prix that ended in Royce’s corner stopping the fight, and when he broke Renzo Gracie’s arm three months later.
The Gracies were mortal now, but there was no shame in that; the Gracie name still commanded respect.
But, six years later, the Gracie name was taken down several more pegs when Royce was lured into the Octagon to fight Matt Hughes. Hughes humiliated Royce almost as bad as Royce humiliated the hapless strikers he faced back in the early 90’s. Then, a year later, Royce further tarnished the Gracie family’s name by testing positive for anabolic steroids in a victorious rematch with Sakuraba — tainting his win over the Japanese fighter.
This was, more or less, the end of the old guard of the Gracie family (save for Renzo Gracie’s ill-advised return to MMA against Matt Hughes in 2010. Ugh).
The next generation of Gracies wasn’t fit to wear their fathers’ gi pants. They proved to be no better than regional-level fighters. Rolles Gracie Jr. couldn’t beat Joey Beltran — even Rolles’ own relative Renzo admitted that was pretty bad. There was a brief glimmer of hope for the Gracie family in the 21st century with BJJ phenom Roger Gracie but he, too, couldn’t put it together in MMA. After an impressive 4-0 run, he lost to King Mo. He won two gimme fights against Keith Jardine and Anthony Smith but then lost an ugly fight to Tim Kennedy in his UFC debut, and was unceremoniously booted from the promotion. Of course, Rolles and Roger are just the tip of the iceberg. I’m neglecting to mention countless other Gracies who tried their hand at MMA and couldn’t live up to their last name.
This isn’t to knock the Gracies though. Their “Gracie Breakdown” YouTube series is amazing, and they’re still a family of talented grapplers. It’s just that when you look at the 90s and then look at the present day, you can’t help but see the sad state of affairs for the Gracie family. Twenty years ago, they ruled the MMA world. Now, a Gracie fighter is only in the news when he fights like he fell out of a pub at 3 am.
There was a time not too long ago whenJens Pulver wasn’t just the face of the lightweight division, he pretty much was the lightweight division. The son of an alcoholic horse jockey, Pulver survived horrific instances of abuse and battled depression — an origin story that made it so easy to cheer for him, and so rewarding to watch him win fight after fight. Pulver went on to become the most dominant lightweight of the early days of the UFC, a true pioneer of the sport in every sense of the word.
Then the predictable happened: Pulver got older, his competition evolved, and MMA moved on, leaving him behind. Time for him to retire, right? If only it were that easy.
See, it’d be one thing if Pulver was rewarded for his services as handsomely as the present-day UFC champions are, but keep in mind that Pulver was in his prime back when the organization was still confined to insignificant venues in obscure towns throughout rural America (Lake Charles has an arena? That’s news to me…). How do you tell a guy who has done so much for our sport — a man with a family to feed and bills to pay — to get out once there’s actually some money to be made as an MMA fighter? You don’t. You simply cringe when you learn that Pulver dropped a lopsided contest to yet another guy you’ve never heard of, and just hope that he at least made bank for the beating.
See Also: Replace “lightweight” with “Japanese,” and you can pretty much say the same thing about Kazushi Sakuraba (if you add a gnarly professional wrestling injury, of course).
In the world of sports, the proverbial fall from grace happens frequently. An athlete is celebrated and perceived in a thoroughly positive manner, yet through their actions the facade is forever changed. Ryan Braun and Lance Armstrong were chemically enhanced cheaters while Pete Rose chose to bet on a game that he could directly affect. Then there are dudes like Tiger Woods whose balls have seen more holes off the golf course than on it while Lenny Dykstra is just a freaking maniac. All of them were beloved at one time or another but through actions outside the lines of their sport, they are damn near pariahs. This is the typical fall from grace but it is rare that a competitor’s legacy is forever changed due to actions within their athletic field.
It happened to Joe Namath in a Los Angeles Rams uniform just like Joe Montana for the Kansas City Chiefs. Willie Mays stumbled around the outfield for the NY Mets and even Michael Jordan couldn’t catch lightning in a bottle when he suited up for the Washington Wizards. Some athletes hang around too long and all the good will they had built up over the course of their amazing careers is almost like a footnote to how they are initially remembered. Such is the case with the very first mainstream media MMA superstar, Chuck Liddell. The Iceman was at the forefront once the ESPNs and Jim Romes of the world finally decided that our sport was legitimate.
Sure, we all knew who Chuck Liddell was, but using him as the pseudo poster boy of MMA was a great fit to the uninformed masses. He was college-educated and soft-spoken but he also had a Mohawk accompanied by head tattoos. He was cerebral, yet scary, and his highlight-reel knockouts solidified the persona. He was the UFC LHW Champion of the World and the perceived baddest man on the planet for several years. He beat a who’s who of the best fighters during his era like Randy Couture, Tito Ortiz, Vitor Belfort, Kevin Randleman and Alistair Overeem.
Then with one glancing blow on the point of the chin from Quinton Jackson and *POOF* it all changed.
Everybody in MMA loses. It happens. If a fighter hangs around long enough, eventually his lights are going to get turned out, and that’s exactly what happened to The Iceman back at UFC 71. It was supposed to be a momentary setback and he was hand-fed the glass jaw of Keith Jardine in his next outing. Problem is, Jardine and his meth-addict style actually avoided the overhand right of Liddell, handing the former champ his second consecutive defeat. In his next fight, Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva FINALLY happened and it did not disappoint. It was a back and forth war that saw the Iceman come out on top. Sadly, it would be the last victory of Liddell’s HOF career.
Let’s not mince words here: the Iceman’s last three fights are brutal to watch. Not just because we witnessed a former champ losing, but losing in such a manner that we feared for his safety. It started with Rashad Evans damn near sending Chuck’s head into the 13th row with a vicious overhand right. Then Maricio Rua left Liddell on his back staring wide-eyed at the arena lights, and in his final Octagon appearance, Rich Franklin put The Iceman’s career on ice (*rimshot*). It was an uncomfortable end to an otherwise fantastic career. A 1-5 record with 4 horrific KO losses forever damaged Chuck Liddell’s overall legacy and the biggest MMA fall from grace was complete.
From Richard and Maurice McDonald to Ron Wayne, history is littered with poor shmucks who cashed out too early; guys who missed the big picture and went for the short money. Art Davie is one of those guys. A former ad-man and born hustler, Davie was arguably the most important driving force behind the creation of the UFC, pitching his idea of an eight-man mixed-styles fighting tournament to Rorion Gracie and John Milius, and co-founding WOW Promotions, which produced the UFC’s early events along with fledgling pay-per-view outfit Semaphore Entertainment Group.
The UFC became an immediate PPV phenomenon after launching in November 1993 — but after just five events, Davie sold his interest in the company to SEG, and officially left the UFC at the end of 1997, allegedly due to conflicts with Semaphore’s Bob Meyrowitz about the direction that the promotion was taking. Davie would later urge Meyrowitz to stop promoting UFC fights altogether, following the death of Douglas Dedge. But he still takes bittersweet pride in his creation to this day; watching the UFC blossom without him is like being a “divorced father with someone else raising my kid,” Davie once said.
Davie had it all, but didn’t know it, and got out when he thought the getting was good, years before it actually was good. Now, he’s just another old guy in a fedora sitting at the bar, telling anybody who will listen that he “invented that UFC stuff.”
“Sure, pal,” the bartender will say, pouring Art another double of mid-shelf scotch. “Sure you did.” Has there been an especially painful fall from grace that we’ve omitted? Let us know in the comments section.
After spending last week’s roundtable discussion paying tribute to the most foul people associated with our sport, this week we’ll be focusing on great comeuppances — cases when a fighter got too cocky and karma caught up with him mid-match. Some of our picks are knockouts, some are submissions, and all are extremely satisfying to relive. Read on for our picks, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to[email protected].
It’s one of the most well-known (and feared) unwritten rules in baseball: You never jinx a no-no. When a pitcher has gone a few innings without giving up a hit, you shut the fuck up about it. Teammates aren’t supposed to acknowledge it in the dugout, broadcasters aren’t supposed to mention it on air. These days, you’re not even supposed to tweet about it. If you even so much as whisper the words “no hitter” into your sleeve from the bleachers, the baseball gods will smite you for your hubris and it’ll all come crashing down.
MMA offers all kinds of painful penalties for celebrating early, and you’d think that everyone would have learned the lesson by now. But every once in a while, some asshole comes along and claims that he’ll achieve some lofty feat way before he has any right to. Call it a jinx, call it karmic retribution, but those fighters tend to fall on their face, while the rest of us revel in their defeat. You shouldn’t have tempted fate, buddy. You should have stayed humble. You shouldn’t have jinxed the no-no.
If you’ve been following the UFC for a long time, you might remember a former lightweight champion by the name of Benson Henderson. (He was the guy who held the belt between Frankie Edgar and Anthony Pettis? Long, curly hair? He could do all things through Christ who strengthened him? Does any of that ring a bell?) Anyway, this Benson Henderson guy was known for edging out very close decision wins in title fights — the kind of fights that could have gone either way, but kept falling in his favor. He got a reputation as a point-fighter who never went in for the kill, who only took risks involving toothpicks.
After spending last week’s roundtable discussion paying tribute to the most foul people associated with our sport, this week we’ll be focusing on great comeuppances — cases when a fighter got too cocky and karma caught up with him mid-match. Some of our picks are knockouts, some are submissions, and all are extremely satisfying to relive. Read on for our picks, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to[email protected].
It’s one of the most well-known (and feared) unwritten rules in baseball: You never jinx a no-no. When a pitcher has gone a few innings without giving up a hit, you shut the fuck up about it. Teammates aren’t supposed to acknowledge it in the dugout, broadcasters aren’t supposed to mention it on air. These days, you’re not even supposed to tweet about it. If you even so much as whisper the words “no hitter” into your sleeve from the bleachers, the baseball gods will smite you for your hubris and it’ll all come crashing down.
MMA offers all kinds of painful penalties for celebrating early, and you’d think that everyone would have learned the lesson by now. But every once in a while, some asshole comes along and claims that he’ll achieve some lofty feat way before he has any right to. Call it a jinx, call it karmic retribution, but those fighters tend to fall on their face, while the rest of us revel in their defeat. You shouldn’t have tempted fate, buddy. You should have stayed humble. You shouldn’t have jinxed the no-no.
If you’ve been following the UFC for a long time, you might remember a former lightweight champion by the name of Benson Henderson. (He was the guy who held the belt between Frankie Edgar and Anthony Pettis? Long, curly hair? He could do all things through Christ who strengthened him? Does any of that ring a bell?) Anyway, this Benson Henderson guy was known for edging out very close decision wins in title fights — the kind of fights that could have gone either way, but kept falling in his favor. He got a reputation as a point-fighter who never went in for the kill, who only took risks involving toothpicks.
Henderson put together three straight title defenses and was about to face his old WEC nemesis Anthony Pettis, when he decided to run his mouth off one day, claiming that he was going to break Anderson Silva’s record for consecutive title defenses sometime in the year 2016. Silva, of course, had put together 10 consecutive middleweight title defenses over the course of a 16-fight UFC win streak in 2006-2012. Henderson was saying that he would beat Pettis, then defend his belt seven more times in what is arguably the most talent-rich division in the UFC, using a fighting style that left every single outcome to the judges.
Why, oh why, couldn’t Henderson keep this prediction to himself? Didn’t he know what would happen? Couldn’t he see that he was already doomed?
Henderson walked out to the Octagon at UFC 164 wearing his gi, to remind everybody watching that he’s a BJJ black belt. Most likely, he had mentally prepared himself for another fast-paced five-rounder, in which he would slightly out-work Pettis in every round. Barring any last-round miracle kicks, he’d have this one in the bag.
Pettis, a BJJ blue belt better known for his flashy kicks, arm-barred him in the first round and took his title. Finally, we had somebody exciting in charge of the lightweight division. And Benson Henderson? Well, you don’t hear too much about him these days; he’s just another washed-up ex-champ who will probably die penniless, buried in a communal grave for paupers. And you have to wonder if Henderson will one day realize how terribly he screwed up. Looking past your opponent is bad enough. Looking three years past your opponent, at some hypothetical future in which you’re the greatest UFC champion in history…and then saying it out loud, in an interview? What did you think was going to happen, dipshit?
Honorable mention:Brandon Vera claims he’ll be the first UFC fighter to hold belts in two divisions simultaneously, wins no belts whatsoever.
There are any number of convenient knockouts or submissions in the annals of MMA history — someone says something disdainful or cocky, and then proceeds to eat crow by losing in some manner that parodies their previous braggadocio. It’s amusing, maybe even somewhat rewarding to see these unfold, but to be frank, there isn’t all that much to distinguish them. People talk trash in the fight game and act like assholes; invariably, these people end up looking like fools from time to time.
However, there is one particular instance that transcends this relatively mundane context. In 1994, Keith Hackney entered the Octagon against a then-unknown fighter by the name of Joe Son, a practitioner of the aptly named “Joe Son Do.” What no one was aware of at the time was that Joe Son had raped a woman in 1990 in one of the most heinous ways imaginable. Eventually, after his UFC career and his 15 minutes of fame as Austin Powers’ “Random Task” had expired, he was caught and convicted on related charges in 2011.
But the universe was evidently unwilling to wait quite that long to dole out some retribution. Whether through cosmic coincidence, divine intervention or simply a moment of frustrated inspiration, Keith Hackney, locked in a front headlock and unable to extricate himself, decided to test the limits of the pre-Zuffa UFC’s “anything goes” policy. Clenching his fist, he proceeded to deliver blow upon righteous blow to Son’s testicles. They didn’t quite end the fight, but allowed Hackney to escape the headlock and lock in a choke of his own to finish the fight. And while justice didn’t fully catch up to Joe Son for another 17 years, this brief taste of karmic vengeance is still the most deserved comeuppance — whether people knew it at the time or not — in MMA history.
(Props: Donald Miralle/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)
MMA is a sport for beasts — both inside the cage and out — it’s a sport for lions and dinosaurs and hippos. If you think many of the very real storylines in MMA have a happy ending, youhaven’tbeenpayingattention. That’s why when something in MMA does work out the way we believe that it should — as if Karma were a real thing dispensing justice inside the cage — it’s memorable and epic; it’s burned into the sport’s history.
One such of these moments, an instance where a fighter was on the receiving end of karmic justice, was UFC 162’s title fight between Anderson Silva and Chris Weidman. Anderson Silva deserved to become an unconscious, goofy-looking husk, and here’s why.
Silva frequently talks about “hespect” and many of his fans claim that the record-setting former champ is the living embodiment of budo. This is wrong on about 1,000 levels. Old-school Pride Anderson Silva might have sported respect for everyone, but it’s difficult to make that claim with a straight face about Silva from 2008 until now.
Let’s start with the Patrick Cote fight. Fans paid money to watch Silva destroy a polite Canadian. The fight didn’t deliver. What was supposed to be a highlight reel trouncing was instead Silva dancing around like he was on the same drugs Eminem took recently, leading to, strangely enough, Cote injuring his knee and Silva winning. Maybe Silva had an off night?
If he didn’t do the same bullshit again versus Thales Leites, then perhaps we’d be willing to assume so. He refused to take Leites as a serious threat, and in doing so gave fans 25 minutes of awkward gesticulating and weird faces.
But yeah, Silva’s a respectful martial artist! I mean he BOWS TO PEOPLE so he can’t be a dick, right?
Wrong. People were sick of Silva after this fight. Thankfully for Silva though, people forgot all about his bad behavior after his feud with Chael Sonnen. Silva was a hero again — MMA’s Neo — and he was proving it by continuing to completely disregard his opponents by goofing off (only after the Sonnen feud Silva decided to finish his opponents once he was through embarrassing them).
Then came Chris Weidman.
Silva acted in the same bullshit “why are you in the same cage as me?” manner against Weidman, who Silva himself regarded as no more than a child. In the first round, Silva’s usual antics seemed like they might work. Save for a takedown, Weidman didn’t seem like much of a threat. Things changed very quickly in the second round. Silva was trying to re-enact his fight against Forrest Griffin when he got tagged. He pretended to be hurt and then Weidman dove in with a flurry. Silva tried to dodge, and failed. He paid for his superlative arrogance with his consciousness and his title. Silva deserved to be unconscious on the canvas with his eyes glazed over.
At UFC 162, Silva went into a professional mixed martial arts bout against a trained fighter and acted like he was fighting a bum — the same thing he had done against Maia and Leites and Cote. Only this time, Silva got his comeuppance. Weidman humiliated Silva like Silva humiliated so many others.
“Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.” – Proverbs 26:27
Forget “Greatest Comeuppance,” this might be my favorite fight of all time. All the elements are there: a hopelessly outmatched unknown taking on a heavy favorite and winning; a mixed rules bout; bad blood; dirty, underhanded tactics; and a bet that ends in Frank Trigg wearing a pink wig and lipstick (although I have been told that the fallout from Trigg’s embarrassing defeat somewhat outweighed the hilarity of it).
The story goes like this: After DREAM champion and noted asshat Shinya Aoki was unable to secure a rematch with Gilbert Melendez, he agreed to take onYuichiro Nagashima in a special rules exhibition bout at Dynamite!! 2010. Why? Because the Japanese love freak show fights more than Udon and torture porn. The first round was contested as a three minute kickboxing match (with the second being a standard MMA rules round), over the course of which Aoki shamelessly flopped, clinched and broke every rule imaginable in order to run out the clock. “Tobikan Judan” was repeatedly warned by the referee for his acts of cowardice but received no penalty. Why? Because Japanese MMA promotions are shady as shit and, let’s be honest, everyone from the referee to the DREAM/K-1 execs probably had money riding on Aoki.
Now, you might be asking yourself, “If Aoki was seemingly unable to throw a punch without pissing his multi-colored spanx, why would he agree to a mixed rules bout, or become a mixed martial artist in the first place for that matter?” I cannot answer for sure, but I do know that Aoki enjoys dressing up like the world’s ugliest schoolgirl in his spare time.
Aaanyway, Aoki’s brief foray into the Miami Heat School of Acting was met with such ire that the crowd in attendance showered their own fighter with boos. It was the first time in MMA history that a Japanese crowd reacted to a fight with anything other than courteous applause (which is a compliment, right?). While Aoki should have done the honorable thing and committed seppuku in between rounds (I seriously cannot stop, you guys), he decided to answer the second bell. In retrospect, I applaud Aoki for this critical error in judgment.
Before Michael Schiavello could even start yammering about shrimps on barbies or strangers named Irene that he watches sleep at night, Aoki closed the distance and immediately shot in on a telegraphed takedown because what did he have to lose at this point? The answer was his consciousness, which he was righteously separated from via flying knee less than five seconds into his safe and secure MMA rules round.
I rarely wish physical harm on a fighter not named Josh Koscheck, but watching Nagashima deliver those hammerfists on an already unconscious Aoki was my definitive Emperor Palpatine moment. What can I say? There’s just something about seeing karma work its magic in such an immediate, transparent fashion that brings out my vengeful side.
Every once in a while something in real life imitates art and the masses stand up to cheer for the demise of the evil villain. Nothing fit that bill more than when Dan Henderson drove Michael Bisping’s face into the canvas like he was pounding home a railroad spike. It has already been discussed that Bisping is a pretty despicable person with the ridiculous rants and vitriol he spews. He truly is one of the few legitimate villains that populate MMA, but he was at the peak of his douchbaggery when he coached TUF season 9 opposite Hendo.
It was Team U.S. vs Team U.K. and the patriotism lead Bisping to be at the top of his craft as a dickhead. His high-pitched rants permeated throughout each episode while he would consistently try to talk trash to Henderson. Hendo would routinely just give Bisping a little smirk and shake his head as he let the Brit dig his own grave. Because Team U.K. was vastly superior to Team U.S. there was a lot of gloating — and even more unbridled dipshittery — coming from Bisping’s piehole.
It culminated at UFC 100 where Bisping cut some pretty absurd promos attacking his foe’s age and diminishing skills. Hendo remained calm and reserved. The first round was fairly uneventful with both competitors feeling each other out. But in the second round, IT happened. Much like Daniel-son’s Crane Kick or Mav’s “hit the brakes and he’ll fly right by” moves, Hendo landed a right hook for the good guys that starched Bisping. Then our protagonist leapt in the air to deliver one of the most violent finishing punches in UFC history (and one of our favorite pictures of all time). We all stood and cheered as justice was served.
Anthony Gannon
Think back to the awesome Pulp Fiction scene when Vincent and Jules were talking about how Antoine gave Marcellus Wallace’s wife a foot massage and got his ass thrown off a balcony, through a glass motha-fuckin’ house in response. Jules took the position that foot massages are no big deal and that Marcellus overreacted. Vincent, despite being a violent, anti-social dope-fiend, offered an amazingly coherent analysis of the situation, telling Jules, “I’m sure Antoine didn’t expect Marcellus to react the way he did, but he had to expect a reaction.”
That’s the whole game when it comes to action/reaction. A response is inevitable. The severity of the response is dependent on the individual doling it out, and includes a multitude of factors: basic retribution, hierarchical status, public humiliation aspect, psychopathic tendencies of the reactor, etc., etc.
When you kiss another man, in public, even in jest, a forceful response is to be expected. For one, he must reclaim his “manhood,” which by societal masculinity standards had been taken from him. It must be reclaimed at any cost. Then there’s the public humiliation factor. A violent response is the only reaction a reasonable person should expect. For the offender, this should be known. But that isn’t always the case.
This is exactly what happened on New Year’s Eve 2005 during a K-1 Dynamite event in Japan. Heath Herring was to face Yoshihiro Nakao. As the fighters made their way to the center of the ring for the staredown, Nakao apparently couldn’t resist Herring’s come-hither eyes and decided to give him a kiss. On the mouth. In front of 53,000 people. Well, evidently Herring was none too pleased with that act, so he delivered a short uppercut that dropped Nakao like a morning deuce.
Some may feel that Herring’s response was unnecessarily harsh. But keep in mind, an uninvited kiss is a sexual crime in most areas. Not sure how they roll in Japan, but in Texas, where Heath is from, that’s an offense punishable by lynching when it comes from another man. Herring can even be heard repeating, “I’m not gay” in the video, as if in his mind the knockout alone wasn’t enough to reaffirm his heterosexuality. To many men, this is some serious shit.
Vincent’s sage commentary holds true in this instance as well. Nakao probably didn’t expect Herring to react the way he did, but he had to expect a reaction. It’s arguable what that expectation consisted of. Maybe he was just trying to mess with Herring’s head. Maybe he was just looking for a hot date for after the fight. Or maybe he just wanted to provide a memorable moment in an otherwise forgettable fighting career. Who the hell knows what he was thinking?
The bottom line is that if you plant an unwanted smooch on another man you’re in the wrong, unless he’s like totally dreamy, like Zach Morris or A.C. Slater — Zach if you prefer preppy blondes, Slater if dimples and jheri curl is your thing. Regardless of your perverted sexual desires though, comeuppance is the only logical recourse. I know it. You know it. And Nakao should have better fuckin’ known better.
Both fighters were determined to have committed fouls and the fight was ruled a no-contest. Well, the fouls and the fact that minutes after Herring slugged Nakao he was still tits up on the mat, so the fight could not go on. See what happens when you kiss a 6’4″, 250-pound Texan? Comeuppance, baby. Heed this lesson should you ever feel the need to do some stupid shit like this.
The last thing that I want to do is be too hard on Dave Herman. He seems like a decent enough human being (dude knits scarves in his spare time, so how terrible can be really be?), and let’s be honest, there’s a very real chance that he was high as balls when he spit out the comments that earned him a spot on this list. But leaving Dave Herman out of a discussion about great comeuppances in the history of sports would be like leaving Brian Scalabrine out of a discussion about the greatest bench-warmers to ever live — it’s a move that would strip away whatever’s left of my credibility. And as a self-proclaimed hack journalist, I would certainly never want that.
Dave Herman — despite riding back-to-back knockout losses — was feeling pretty damn confident before his fight against Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira at UFC 153, and decided to talk a little smack. Okay, no harm, no foul just yet; like George said, that’s pretty common in MMA. Had Herman simply left his comments at “I’m going to beat Nogueira because he’s the world’s oldest thirty-something taking a fight on short notice despite getting his shoulder mangled by Frank Mir in his last outing,” there’s a chance that the gods of MMA may have blessed him with a victory. But instead of just targeting Big Nog, Herman decided that he’d rather piss on an entire system of martial arts, claiming that jiu-jitsu is useless and that it simply does not work against him. I’d write that his comments were Toney-esque, except that James Toney is genuinely ignorant about MMA, while Dave Herman had over twenty victories in the sport to his name before spewing his nonsense. The MMA gods were not amused.
Needless to say, UFC 153 saw Dave Herman get his ass kicked for two rounds before Big Nog — despite suffering from a broken rib — armbarred the man who claimed that jiu-jitsu didn’t work on him. But his comeuppance didn’t end there. Herman was given one final completely undeserved shot in the UFC against jiu-jitsu black belt Gabriel Gonzaga back at UFC 162, and was knocked out in less time than it took me to type this sentence. Herman immediately received his walking papers. While I have no idea what he’s been up to ever since [Author Note: Okay, maybe *one* idea], I do know that he has wisely decided to keep his opinions on other combat sports to himself.
Have an honorable mention that you’d like to nominate? Let us know in the comments section.
