(Gentlemen, THIS is what happens when you refer to Ronda as “sugartits.”)
Well, here you have it, Potato Nation: photographic proof that Bryan Caraway‘s days are numbered.
After nearly taking Miesha Tate’s arm home with her on March 3rd, newly crowned Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight Champ Ronda Rousey will be featured in the April issue of FitnessRX magazine, a health and fitness publication devoted entirely to the ladies. Being that Ronda considers herself the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet (with an emphasis on the “unarmed” aspect), she seems as good a choice as any. Just ask Nick Diaz.
Check out a few more photos of Ms. Rousey after the jump, along with a video interview in which she recalls how she beat up a crew of dudes in a movie theater in full, gory detail. These are the pitfalls of universal suffrage, my brethren.
(Gentlemen, THIS is what happens when you refer to Ronda as “sugartits.”)
Well, here you have it, Potato Nation: photographic proof that Bryan Caraway‘s days are numbered.
After nearly taking Miesha Tate’s arm home with her on March 3rd, newly crowned Strikeforce Women’s Bantamweight Champ Ronda Rousey will be featured in the April issue of FitnessRX magazine, a health and fitness publication devoted entirely to the ladies. Being that Ronda considers herself the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet (with an emphasis on the “unarmed” aspect), she seems as good a choice as any. Just ask Nick Diaz.
Check out a few more photos of Ms. Rousey below, along with a video interview in which she recalls how she beat up a crew of dudes in a movie theater in full, gory detail. These are the pitfalls of universal suffrage, my brothers.
In a recent interview with the Miami Herald’s Dan Le Batard, who is undoubtedly the most excited interviewer we have come across in some time, Rousey dishes on everything from the likelihood that she would take Bryan Caraway in a fight to the movie theater incident in which she beat up no less than four adult males in front of their dates. Something tells us her mother was a proud Feminist.
Here are a few of our favorite tidbits.
On whether or not she wanted to break Tate’s arm: “The extent of the damage is up to them, not me. I don’t feel bad at all. She chose to have her arm broken.” [This is where Ms. Rousey and Mr. Palhares differ.]
On Bryan Caraway: “I just said that I could beat up [Meisha Tate] and her boyfriend in the same day. Which, you know, he’s like some average to below-average MMA guy, and I’m the women’s world champion. It would be expected that I would be able to beat the average MMA guy at my weight, right?” [We’re not touching that one with a fifteen centimeter pole.]
A brief synopsis of the theater incident: “I got jumped by a bunch of guys in a movie theater and I beat them up and then everyone clapped. They were that group of people that were just rude and loud throughout the movie.” [You mean these kind of people?]
“They wouldn’t let me leave, so I was technically in a kidnap situation. I learned this from my lawyer. I was fearing for my life, so I had to defend myself. So I defended myself very well, and so they sued me.” [Oh, you’re referring to these kind of people.]
On her childhood: “I was never very popular in school. I was made fun of for being muscular a lot, so I always wore really baggy clothes. I had two lives; I would go to school and I would be kind of like this introverted, loser kid that no one really knew, and then I’d go out on the weekends to these Judo tournaments and everyone was like ‘Oh Ronda, Ronda! Hey, what’s up! You know what I mean?” [Sadly, we do not Ronda. Every member of the CP staff was both a gifted athlete AND extremely popular in high school. At least that’s how we remember it.]
On whether or not she enjoys hurting people: “……………………..no.”
LAS VEGAS — Watch below as Bryan Caraway talked about beating Dustin Neace at the TUF 14 Finale, why he was close to not fighting on Saturday night, dealing with his nerves before the fight and much more.
LAS VEGAS — Watch below as Bryan Caraway talked about beating Dustin Neace at the TUF 14 Finale, why he was close to not fighting on Saturday night, dealing with his nerves before the fight and much more.
But before we put this sumbitch to bed, we have two more semi-final fights to get through. John “The Snitchin’ Magician” Dodson is training for his bantamweight face-off with teammate Johnny Bedford, while Bedford blatantly creeps on him the whole time. Coach Mayhem decides he won’t corner either man, leaving that responsibility up to the assistant coaches.
Says Dodson: “I only got taken down once, by Prince [John Albert], and I’m never going to get taken down again.” But taking Lil’ John down is, in fact, Bedford’s gameplan. And he doesn’t think Dodson has the power to hurt him. Dodson giggles and poses in the face-off after weigh-ins. Once again, we marvel at how small this man is, and how he should really be competing at 125, if such a division existed in the UFC. And once again, his size disadvantage probably won’t matter one damn bit.
(Gentlemen, please. You can *both* eat dicks. / GIF via IronForgesIron)
But before we put this sumbitch to bed, we have two more semi-final fights to get through. John “The Snitchin’ Magician” Dodson is training for his bantamweight face-off with teammate Johnny Bedford, while Bedford blatantly creeps on him the whole time. Coach Mayhem decides he won’t corner either man, leaving that responsibility up to the assistant coaches.
Says Dodson: “I only got taken down once, by Prince [John Albert], and I’m never going to get taken down again.” But taking Lil’ John down is, in fact, Bedford’s gameplan. And he doesn’t think Dodson has the power to hurt him. Dodson giggles and poses in the face-off after weigh-ins. Once again, we marvel at how small this man is, and how he should really be competing at 125, if such a division existed in the UFC. And once again, his size disadvantage probably won’t matter one damn bit.
And it’s go time already. Bedford remarks that Dodson likes to smile after getting hit, but he won’t be smiling in this one. Dodson’s rebuttal: “You ain’t gonna get me dog. You know why? I’m awesome, you’re not.”
Round 1: Bedford and Dodson both land with leg kicks and punches. Bedford fires a pair of high kicks. Bedford shoots in, Dodson defends. Dodson lands a lightning fast knee/punch combo. Bedford tries to clinch and Dodson launches a flurry of inside punches. Dodson sticking and moving, landing counters. Bedford tries to clinch again, but Dodson is too slippery. Bedford with a left. Dodson lands two leg kicks. Bedford clinches and throws some knees but eats a punch as Dodson escapes. Bedford finally gets a takedown, but Dodson is up and out. Bedford tries to swagger-jack Jon Jones with a rolling backfist that misses wide. Dodson fires a looping hook. Bedford dashes forward with a knee, but can’t grab on. Bedford goes body/head with punches. Dodson catches a kick and dumps Bedford down. Bedford gets up and Dodson seems to punt him in the nuts on the way up, but Bedford is unfazed. They scrap to the bell. “I lost that round, didn’t I,” Bedford asks his corner. Yeah, pretty much.
Round 2: Dodson in a great rhythm, landing his counterpunches and exiting. He slaps in an inside leg kick. Now Bedford catches a kick and slugs Dodson against the fence, forcing him to retreat. Dodson lands to the body. Dodson connects on a stiff left that drops Bedford, and follows it up with some wild masturbation punches until Bedford’s soul leaves his body. And so, John Dodson will be facing TJ Dillashaw at the TUF 14 bantamweight finals on Saturday night.
“He looked like a monkey trying to open up a coconut when he was bashing on Bedford’s head” says Louis Gaudinot, an observation that’s equal parts offensive and accurate.
The doctor asks Bedford where he is, and he guesses Ohio. Now what were you saying about Dodson’s power?
Back at the house, Diego Brandao menacingly sharpens a meat-cleaver in the backyard while Bryan Caraway chills in the hot tub, trying to not look terrified. As Coach Bisping puts it, ”Look, I’d be scared of the guy, and he’s only the size of my leg!” Brandao says something about weening TUF so ee can buy house for ees mother.
Caraway just wants to keep his guts on the inside of his body. According to his own calculations, he threw up before his first 30 MMA fights, but is currently riding a three-fight streak of not throwing up. The sport gives him such anxiety that he hates it sometimes. Mayhem tries to talk him down from the ledge. At the end of the day, it’s better to be a UFC fighter than a Starbucks barista. Unless you love coffee and hate fighting, in which case it’s worth it just for the employee discount.
Bedford steps in as the voice of reason: “I’ve seen Diego lose in person. He’s definitely beatable. Bryan’s one of the most experienced guys here.”
But now that his fighter is considered such a massive favorite, Bisping bravely offers to bet Miller $100 on the fight. You can tell that Miller doesn’t want any part of this, but since Bisping made the challenge publicly, in front of both fighters and their teammates, Mayhem gamely accepts.
It’s the last night in the house, and the guys are gettin’ cray-cray. Mayhem rides through the house in his undies. A beer-pong tournament ensues. Meanwhile, Brandao is getting pissed off because he actually has to fight the next day and all this ruckus is fucking with his focus. Still, an angel appeared to Brandao in a dream, and told him he’s going back to Brazil to help a lot of families for Christmas. So he’s got that going for him.
“The pressure’s just as much on him,” Bryan says, not sounding too convinced. Meanwhile, Diego is upstairs beating the shit out of a box-spring.
And here it is, TUF 14′s final battle…
Round 1: Brandao opens with high kicks. Caraway shoots in to clinch, Brandao defends and escapes. A big haymaker from Brandao glances off the top of Caraway’s head. Caraway shoots, Brandao sprawls. Big kick from Brandao. Caraway returns fire. Brandao tries a superman punch, Caraway grabs him and pushes him to fence. Brandao knees him off. Brandao lands a leg kick that spins Caraway around. Brandao with a body punch, Caraway with a left hook. Hard leg kick from Brandao. Caraway shoots and misses, Brandao makes him pay with punches. Brandao lands another hard leg kick spins Caraway 360 degrees. Brandao fires an overhand right, Caraway mimics it. Brandao launches a flying knee that drops Caraway. Brandao starts jackhammering punches from the top. Caraway does his best to move around on his back and avoid damage. Caraway finally gets up but he’s still dazed, and gets dropped by another punch. More ground and pound. Caraway is tough as fucking nails and won’t quit. He gets up again, Brandao slugs him and Caraway collapses to his back. Another punch from Brandao finally finds Caraway’s off button. That’s three straight first-round knockouts for Diego Brandao. He’ll meet Dennis Bermudez in the featherweight finals.
The first thing Brandao does after the fight is threaten to smash Bermudez for talking shit the night before, a charge that Bermudez denies. Bisping’s prediction: “Diego kills Bermudez and goes on to be a big star in the UFC.” Now that he’s in the finals, Brandao promises to buy his mom a house, get his brother out of the drogas, and change his life. Seriously? They’re still just paying you guys $10k/$10k, right?
Before it’s time to leave, Dana has the coaches rub their foreheads together in one last face-off before their live fight at the Finale on Saturday. “Welcome to the UFC, dickhead,” Bisping says. “Back to the little leagues after this. Go find another TV show to present.”
“I feel like my whole life has been building up to beat this one bully,” Mayhem says.
Come back to CagePotato.com on Saturday night for our liveblog of the TUF 14 Finale main card. The full lineup looks like this:
Main Card (Spike TV, 8 p.m. ET)
– Michael Bisping vs. Jason Miller (MW)
– John Dodson vs. T.J. Dillashaw (BW)
– Diego Brandao vs. Dennis Bermudez (FW)
– Tony Ferguson vs. Yves Edwards (LW)
Preliminary Card (Facebook)
– Dustin Pague vs. John Albert (BW)
– Louis Gaudinot vs. Johnny Bedford (BW)
– Marcus Brimage vs. Stephen Bass (FW)
– Josh Clopton vs. Steven Siler (FW)
– Bryan Caraway vs. Dustin Neace (FW)
– Roland Delorme vs. Josh Ferguson (BW)
Filed under: UFCAfter beating Bryan Caraway to advance to Saturday night’s Ultimate Fighter Finale, Diego Brandao says he’s ready to prove that he’s a rising star in the UFC.
In an interview with MMAFighting.com, Brandao said he’s been training hard f…
After beating Bryan Caraway to advance to Saturday night’s Ultimate Fighter Finale, Diego Brandao says he’s ready to prove that he’s a rising star in the UFC.
In an interview with MMAFighting.com, Brandao said he’s been training hard for his fight with Dennis Bermudez on Saturday night, and that he views it as a step toward his ultimate goal in the sport, of being a UFC champion some day.
But Brandao’s more immediate goal is to provide for his family in Brazil, and he especially wants to be able to buy his mother a house. Brandao said that if he earns a UFC contract with a victory against Bermudez on Saturday night, that goal is well within his reach.
Our interview is below.
Michael David Smith: In your win over Bryan Caraway, I really thought that as soon as the flying knee landed, it was over. Did you feel like that too? No, I was ready for war, and I knew Bryan Caraway is very tough, so I knew I wasn’t going to finish him easily.
I was surprised how much punishment Caraway was able to withstand. Were you surprised? Did you think the ref let it go on too long? I think it did go on pretty long. He could have stopped the fight earlier. But I also tell referees, “Don’t stop my fights until I’m out.” I want to get every chance to win the fight so I know why Bryan Caraway wanted every chance to win the fight.
Now you’ll fight Dennis Bermudez on Saturday night at the Finale. What do you think of him? I don’t think anything of him. He’s a great fighter but I think the guys I beat in the house are better than him.
What’s your prediction for the bantamweight fight at the Finale, T.J. Dillashaw vs. John Dodson? T.J. is good but he only has four fights. Dodson has like 20 pro fights. Little John is going to knock him out.
Although viewers at home only saw your fight with Caraway on Wednesday night, it happened months ago and you’ve had the fall to train for the Finale. What has your preparation been like for the fight with Bermudez?
I’ve been training with Greg Jackson and Mike Winklejohn, I’ve been working on my Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and I’ve just been training very hard in New Mexico — 505 in the house. I’m in great shape. My coaches tell me I’m in shape. At Greg Jackson’s gym I have great people here — Jon Jones has been helping me so much. I think Jon Jones is the best there is. He can take anybody down and so he has helped me with my takedowns and takedown defense.
What would it mean to you to become this year’s winner of The Ultimate Fighter?
It would mean I could make my mom’s dream come true, that she could own a house. She works so hard to pay her rent. I’ve been working here for three years for a reason and that’s to try to make money to help my family and people in Brazil. I don’t want to be a superstar — if you want to be a superstar you go to Hollywood — but I do want to make money by fighting. I want to buy a house for my mom. And I also want to be proud of myself, and that will come with winning in the UFC.
Do you view yourself as a future UFC featherweight champion?
I definitely want to have a chance to fight for the belt some day. Jose Aldo is my friend and he’s making my country very proud. He’s the best in my weight class and I would have a lot of business to take care of before I’d be able to fight him. But I want to become a UFC champion.
Filed under: UFCWednesday night’s final episode of The Ultimate Fighter will show Diego Brandao getting the fight he asked for, against Bryan Caraway, with a spot on Saturday night’s Ultimate Fighter Finale at stake.
Wednesday night’s final episode of The Ultimate Fighter will show Diego Brandao getting the fight he asked for, against Bryan Caraway, with a spot on Saturday night’s Ultimate Fighter Finale at stake.
In an interview with MMAFighting.com, Brandao said Caraway was the guy in the Ultimate Fighter house he most wanted to fight because he took personally some of the things Caraway had said to him.
Brandao also talked about the reputation he has developed over the course of this season of The Ultimate Fighter, with both UFC President Dana White and coach Michael Bisping saying that Brandao looks like a beast whom the other fighters shouldn’t want to touch. And Brandao gave his thoughts about why he couldn’t always get along with the other guys in the house.
The interview is below.
Michael David Smith: You said you wanted to fight Bryan Caraway. Why did you want him? Diego Brandao: Because Bryan Caraway got in my face and challenged me. He’d come up to me in the house and say he wanted to fight me, and I’d just say, ‘F– you man. If you want to fight me we’ll see who’s the best.’ I didn’t come in here to make friends. I came in here to destroy everyone.
As you were preparing for that fight, were you able to formulate a specific game plan for Bryan? Did you have a sense for what you would need to do to win? No, it wasn’t so much planning anything. I just thought, ‘This is the guy I need to beat.’ And I wanted to finish him. I don’t like to leave it to the judges. I like to destroy the guy.
Dana White said no one should want to fight you. How does it feel to hear that? It’s true that no one wanted to fight me inside the house. I feel good about it but that’s not in my mind yet. I’m not the best because Dana says it. I want to show I’m the best because I can beat everybody else. That’s what I’m out to prove. I feel confident that I can fight the toughest guys.
You didn’t really seem to fit in with the other guys in the house. Did you not get along?
I didn’t like when the other guys would get drunk every day while I was pushing myself. Those other guys weren’t training enough for me. Even if they didn’t have their own fights to train for I needed them to be ready because I needed to be training and I needed people to roll with, people to hold the pads for me. I was taking it seriously and some of them weren’t.
Your attitude in the house seems a lot like your attitude in the cage. You mean business and you’re not in there to be nice to anybody. What I want is to be like Mike Tyson. I want to become like a Wanderlei Silva, a guy who gives a great show in every fight. The guys in the 145-pound class should be scared of me. I just go out there and do my job.
“I just want everyone to understand how fricken hard I am training. I have never trained this hard or smart for a fight in my life. In ironic twist news- I’m totally getting reimbursed for John Dodson’s insubordination. I’m not even asking about Michael’s training, but for some reason all the friends that I’ve had for years that are working with him seem to be inclined to tell me about his camp and what he’s doing. I don’t want or need this info, I’m going to beat him regardless, just found it interesting. Pretty karmic.”
Hmm. Michael Bisping’s TUF 14 assistant coaches Tiki Ghosn and Rob McCullough train in the same Huntington Beach circles as Miller — could they be moles infiltrating the Brit’s camp in the name of American patriotism? Or is Mayhem just trying to get in the Count’s head? Bisping is convinced that it’s the latter, telling InsideMMA:
“I just want everyone to understand how fricken hard I am training. I have never trained this hard or smart for a fight in my life. In ironic twist news- I’m totally getting reimbursed for John Dodson’s insubordination. I’m not even asking about Michael’s training, but for some reason all the friends that I’ve had for years that are working with him seem to be inclined to tell me about his camp and what he’s doing. I don’t want or need this info, I’m going to beat him regardless, just found it interesting. Pretty karmic.”
Hmm. Michael Bisping’s TUF 14 assistant coaches Tiki Ghosn and Rob McCullough train in the same Huntington Beach circles as Miller — could they be moles infiltrating the Brit’s camp in the name of American patriotism? Or is Mayhem just trying to get in the Count’s head? Bisping is convinced that it’s the latter, telling InsideMMA:
“I know for a fact that none of them have been divulging secrets. I think this is a sign of Jason [being] a little bit nervous [about] the impending doom that’s coming his way this coming weekend and he’s trying to unsettle my camp. I think he’s looking at the [Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson] spygate thing and trying to jump on that bandwagon. Good luck, Jason, but better luck next time.”
Semi-related: Michael Bisping accidentally (?) spoils tomorrow night’s TUF 14 semifinal between Diego Brandao and Bryan Caraway. Don’t watch it if you don’t want to know.
After beating 
