(Cheick Kongo had never seen Deliverance before, yet in that moment, he somehow knew what was coming. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)
We know, we know, it’s probably not a good idea to solely base someone’s employment status with the UFC on the existence of their UFC.com profile, but speculation is the hamster that keeps the wheels of intellectual transcendance and creative spontaneity spinning here at CagePotato. That, and a shitload of coke. For the hamster.
Aaaaanyway, word was passed along this morning that longtime heavyweight contender Cheick Kongo no longer has a fighter profile on UFC.com, which can only mean one thing in today’s UFC economy: BANISHMENT.
In all honesty, anyone who noticed how much money Kongo was making even in defeat probably could’ve seen this coming. His legendary come-from-behind KO over Pat Barry aside, Kongo has looked like a shell of himself ever since Frank Mir made good on his promise to change him as a fighter at UFC 107. Once a feared striker, the Frenchman seemed like a fish who had intentionally leaped out of water in his pair of grappling-heavy snoozer decisions over Matt Mitrione and Shawn Jordan, the latter of which we dubbed the worst fight of 2012. Kongo would find no relief in his once-adored striking game, either, suffering two first round knockout losses (to Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson at UFC 144 and 159, respectively) in his past three contests.
While it would be easy to take pot shots at a guy who has subtly threatened us with physical violence before, we are going to take the high road here. So join us after the jump for look back at some of Kongo’s greatest hits.
(Cheick Kongo had never seen Deliverance before, yet in that moment, he somehow knew what was coming. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)
We know, we know, it’s probably not a good idea to solely base someone’s employment status with the UFC on the existence of their UFC.com profile, but speculation is the hamster that keeps the wheels of intellectual transcendance and creative spontaneity spinning here at CagePotato. That, and a shitload of coke. For the hamster.
Aaaaanyway, word was passed along this morning that longtime heavyweight contender Cheick Kongo no longer has a fighter profile on UFC.com, which can only mean one thing in today’s UFC economy: BANISHMENT.
In all honesty, anyone who noticed how much money Kongo was making even in defeat probably could’ve seen this coming. His legendary come-from-behind KO over Pat Barry aside, Kongo has looked like a shell of himself ever since Frank Mir made good on his promise to change him as a fighter at UFC 107. Once a feared striker, the Frenchman seemed like a fish who had intentionally leaped out of water in his pair of grappling-heavy snoozer decisions over Matt Mitrione and Shawn Jordan, the latter of which we dubbed the worst fight of 2012. Kongo would find no relief in his once-adored striking game, either, suffering two first round knockout losses (to Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson at UFC 144 and 159, respectively) in his past three contests.
While it would be easy to take pot shots at a guy who has subtly threatened us with physical violence before, we are going to take the high road here. So join us after the jump for look back at some of Kongo’s greatest hits.
After a seven-year run that included 18 fights in the organization, veteran heavyweight Cheick Kongo is a UFC fighter no more.His management team today made the announcement.
Update: Cheick Kongo hasn’t been formally cut, but UFC representatives have confirmed to Bleacher Report (as well as MMA Fighting) that UFC 159 was his last fight on-contract.Kongo is not expected to re-sign with the promotion, which should lead t…
Update:Cheick Kongo hasn’t been formally cut, but UFC representatives have confirmed to Bleacher Report (as well as MMA Fighting) that UFC 159 was his last fight on-contract.
Kongo is not expected to re-sign with the promotion, which should lead to his formal release.
Although it’s not yet official, it appears that veteran heavyweight gatekeeper Cheick Kongo may be the next big name cut from the UFC.
Bloody Elbow reports that the Frenchman’s fighter profile has recently been removed from the active heavyweight roster section on the official UFC website, which lists every heavyweight who is currently under contract with the promotion.
That seems to indicate Kongo will be let go as a result of his first-round “Knockout of the Night” defeat to Roy Nelson at UFC 159.
Carrying an 11-6-0-1 record in the UFC so far, Kongo has lost twice in his last three bouts, also dropping a surprising first-round knockout loss to Mark Hunt at UFC 144.
That’s never a good sign, as the UFC has been making cuts across the board, with an emphasis on eliminating aging, overly expensive talent.
If that turns out to be the case, the 37-year-old, 18-fight UFC veteran could see some demand on the regional MMA market, especially since Kongo is an extremely recognizable fighter.
However, promoters may also have trouble matching what he has so far been paid by the UFC.
Several of Kongo’s last matches haven’t seen his salaries disclosed to the media, but over the years, his rates have steadily gone upward.
According to MMA Junkie, the Wolfslair MMA Academy standout made a disclosed $140,000 for a critically-panned fight at UFC 137 in Las Vegas, which included a $70,000 win bonus for a mild decision win against an overmatched Matt Mitrione.
That may fit the mold of a fighter who’s on the downside of his career while simultaneously being “super f—ing expensive,” a term UFC president Dana White used when cutting former welterweight contender Jon Fitch (via MMA Junkie).
McKinley Noble is an MMA conspiracy theorist. His work has appeared in NVision, PC World, Macworld, GamePro, 1UP, MMA Mania and The L.A. Times.
UFC 159 was a peculiar card in many ways. Between the bizarre circumstances which halted the bout between Michael Bisping and Alan Belcher, and Jon Jones managing to significantly injure himself against an opponent who had no hope of being a serious th…
UFC 159 was a peculiar card in many ways. Between the bizarre circumstances which halted the bout between Michael Bisping and Alan Belcher, and Jon Jones managing to significantly injure himself against an opponent who had no hope of being a serious threat to his title reign, I don’t think anyone could have predicted how this card turned out.
There was, however, at least one fight which went exactly as most would expect, as Cheick Kongo was starched early by Roy Nelson. All of the flaws in Kongo’s game which I demonstrated earlier in the week were present and culminated in an easy night’s work for Nelson.
“Big Country” showed early that Kongo’s usual stalling tactics against the fence wouldn’t work as well as they did against Matt Mitrione and Shawn Jordan—Nelson pinned Kongo to the fence with double underhooks for much of the opening minutes.
As soon as the fighters broke apart, Nelson was pressuring Kongo, who was forced to fight with his back to the fence. Unable to run, Kongo had the choice—punch, kick or clinch. Clinching Nelson, who was so much shorter and clearly happy to wrestle against the fence seemed like a bad idea, so Kongo tried to throw strikes with his back to the wall.
This was tactical suicide. If one hopes to strike off of the fence (which is probably the last option for a great striker, as it is far better to fake, draw a strike and either tie up or exit) one must commit to attacks which will make the opponent defend himself and give space to escape from the fence.
Kongo instead pumped a couple of backhanded, obviously faked jabs, then lunged in with a lead low leg kick. Kicking with one’s back to the fence is a pretty bad idea because there is almost nothing one can do when an opponent steps in and either grabs the leg (as Gilbert Melendez did to Benson Henderson in the first round of their title bout) or simply step in with a hard punch as Nelson did.
Kongo’s hands were low—as they almost always are when he kicks—and he was easily floored by Nelson, who immediately followed up with a hard punch on the ground to prompt the stoppage.
Against men who refuse to prioritize movement and defence, Nelson will continue to pick up devastating and easy victories. He’s not a great boxer and he can’t set his punches up or throw combinations for toffee—but Nelson knows where he and his opponent need to be. If fighters such as Stefan Struve, Kongo and Mitrione keep coming in thinking they will win because they have more tools, Nelson’s list of big-name finishes will continue to grow.
Michael Bisping‘s lack of hooks
On the other end of the spectrum there is Michael Bisping, who could learn a good deal from Roy Nelson despite “Big Country” being the less respected striking technician.
Nelson is a one-trick pony but he is excellent at moving himself and his opponent into positions where his one trick will prove the most effective.
I talk about this a good deal in my analysis but it is an important concept and often dictates who we think of as a power puncher and who we think of as pillow-fisted. Using an inappropriate strike will lead to glancing connections or ones which the opponent can simply shake off.
Striking is about creating collisions. If one wants to connect a hard right hook, throwing it at the opponent as he moves to your left is hopeless. Even if the strike doesn’t die out before it gets to him, the opponent will easily take the blow because he is moving in the same direction as the force. What one should do when attempting to land a right hook is what Nelson does—trap opponents along the fence and give them space to move into the right hand.
What Bisping does is use his jab, which is a good punch—sharp, accurate and enough to make men like Chris Leben and Wanderlei Silva stop in their tracks. However, Bisping uses it in all situations. If his opponent is running straight toward him, Bisping‘s jab will do good damage, as will his straight right hand. The problem is that opponents rarely run in on Bisping because they know he has a good jab.
If an opponent is moving side to side, as Alan Belcher did effectively in the first round of their bout—and to an extent the third—Bisping struggles to make meaningful connections at all because he is so limited to straight punches. He will use the roundhouse kicks from time to time to stop an opponent circling, but these are mainly a tool to stand them still for his straight punches again.
Bisping is not so much a technical striker as a striker who has gotten to a high level in using the most well rounded weapon—the jab. There are plenty of times when the jab as a single strike is flat out useless, such as against a very laterally mobile opponent. On these occasions it should be used only to hide the intentions and a roundhouse strike should be connected as the opponent circles into its path.
For much of the bout with Belcher, Bisping was the much better fighter, but his counter blows often missed or glanced off Belcher as the 29-year-old moved away. Every attempt at a counter right straight ended up hitting air.
It was only later in the fight that Bisping started attempting left and right hooks to catch Belcher circling, but these were arm punches and lacked the commitment of weight and hip motion that Nelson’s punches do.
Ultimately Belcher‘s gameplan was actually pretty sound, as Bisping is rarely in the position of the offensive pressure fighter. Instead it is normally Bisping who is between his opponent and the fence. Bisping himself has on several occasions been the man eating hooks as he circles into their power.
Notice how Bisping‘s right straights often missed Belcher altogether, and when Bisping actually began using the right hook to meet Belcher as he circled, Bisping was clearly so unpractised in cutting off the ring and herding an opponent into left hooks and wide rights that he struggled to hurt an opponent who was offering almost no offence of his own.
While Nelson seems to be the less technically skilled fighter and certainly struggles when fighters take away his right hand, his power is not just from a natural aptitude to punching, but rather due to the occasions he creates where his right hand will work best.
A Michael Bisping who could actually cause damage with arcing punches would be so much more effective against high-level competition that is unwilling to chase him and run on to jabs all night. In truth, both men are pretty limited in their variety of tactics on the feet, the difference is that Bisping‘s are more in line with what most people recognize as good boxing.
Jack Slack breaks down over 70 striking tactics employed by 20 elite strikers in his first ebook, Advanced Striking, and discusses the fundamentals of strategy in his new ebook, Elementary Striking.
If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.
Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.
Elsewhere on the card…
(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)
If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.
Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.
Elsewhere on the card…
– Roy Nelson picked up his third straight first round knockout last night – as well as the $65,000 Knockout of the Night honors – by dropping Cheick Kongo with a huge overhand right just two minutes into the fight. While the end result isn’t particularly surprising, it is a bit odd to hear Dana White say that Nelson earned a fight against either Mark Hunt or Daniel Cormier for his next outing. Not only are both fighters gigantic steps up in competition from Kongo, but also Roy Nelson is a step backwards for each of them. Strange times.
– For all that we heard about the improved striking of Vinny Magalhaes, he certainly didn’t let it show last night. He looked lost on his feet against Phil Davis – who isn’t exactly a world-class striker himself – even though Davis threw the same combination for pretty much the entire fight. “Mr Wonderful” was able to avoid Vinny’s leg kicks for most of the fight and utilize his superior reach on his way to a unanimous decision victory. While his striking appears to have improved, the lack of aggression that Davis displayed after hurting Magalhaes with an attempted head kick early in the first round seems to suggest that he isn’t quite ready for the deep end of the division just yet.
– Don’t let his unimposing MMA record fool you: Pat Healy is tough draw for anyone right now, and he proved it last night by taking out the always game Jim Miller. Healy survived an early onslaught from Miller that saw his right eye swell up. He went on to control the second and third rounds before locking up the fight ending rear-naked choke. If anyone is still questioning the legitimacy of the Strikeforce lightweights, you can kindly stop doing so now.
– Not only did both Jim Miller and Pat Healy take home $65,000 for Fight of the Night, but Pat Healy also took home the $65,000 Submission of the Night honors. Taking home $130,000 in bonus money alone for a victory is about as successful of a return to the big leagues as one can possibly hope to make.
– Leonard Garcia lost to Cody McKenzie, making it five straight losses in a row in the UFC. He now joins Steve Cantwell as the only two fighters to lose five consecutive fights that have all been in the UFC (in other words, five straight fights, five straight losses, no time in the minor leagues between any of them). His future is officially “not looking good.”
– One last note, Sheila Gaff immediately answered our questions as to whether or not she can stop Sara McMann’s takedowns by running directly into one. I can’t remember the last time I saw a fight end up on the ground that quickly, but at least McMann wasn’t content to just coast to an easy victory. McMann earned a first round TKO in the third WMMA fight in UFC history.
Full Results:
Main Card:
Jon Jones def. Chael Sonnen via TKO, 4:33 of Round One
Michael Bisping def. Alan Belcher via Technical Decision (unanimous), 4:29 of Round Three
Roy Nelson def. Cheick Kongo via KO, 2:03 of Round One
Phil Davis def. Vinny Magalhaes via Unanimous Decision
Pat Healy def. Jim Miller via Submission (rear naked choke), 4:03 of Round Three
Preliminary Card:
Rustam Khabilov def. Yancy Medeiros via TKO (injury), 2:32 of Round One
Ovince St. Preux def. Gian Villante via Technical Decision (majority) 0:33 of Round Three
Sara McMann def. Sheila Gaff via TKO (punches), 4:06 of Round One
Bryan Caraway def. Johnny Bedford via Submission (guillotine choke), 4:44 of Round Three
Cody McKenzie def. Leonard Garcia via Unanimous Decision
Steven Siler def. Kurt Holobaugh via Unanimous Decision
Another one bites the dust for Cheick Kongo, who once again failed to win the big one at UFC 159.The burly French heavyweight fell victim to a massive overhand right by Roy “Big Country” Nelson at 2:03 of the first round.Despite a superhero-like physiq…
Another one bites the dust for Cheick Kongo, who once again failed to win the big one at UFC 159.
The burly French heavyweight fell victim to a massive overhand right by Roy “Big Country” Nelson at 2:03 of the first round.
Despite a superhero-like physique and serious kickboxing skills, Kongo has never been able to put it together against upper-echelon opposition.
It’s striking basics that a shorter fighter’s most effective punch against taller opponents is the overhand, and Nelson made no attempts to disguise his intentions. From start to finish, Nelson remained crouched in a low stance measuring for the move.
Against top opponents, Kongo tends to shell up and become hesitant.
There are some serious deficiencies in Kongo’s striking defense, but perhaps his issues are beyond minor technical adjustments.
At 37 years of age, Kongo’s ability to sustain punishment is deteriorating. His body won’t be able to withstand many more knockouts like the one he suffered on Saturday night, and it’ll be interesting to see how he rebounds.
Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.
(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)
Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.
Alright, Potato Nation…we are set for a main event less relevant than any season of Survivor past the year 2002. Since everyone is counting out the possibility of a competitive fight tonight, what will the post-fight interviews sound like? Will Jones gain or make most fans nauseous with the holier-than-though approach? Will Sonnen take his ball and go home or call out Evander Holyfield and Lorenzo Fertitta at the same time?
The co-main event features the fan-favorite Michael Bisping takes on possible Union Jack recipient Alan Belcher. After the Brit insulted Belcher’s skills as well as his Kim Jong-il tattoo, we’re pretty much looking forward to a first-round finish for either man.
Also on the card is Weight Watchers’ own Roy Nelson against the Mortal Kombat-built Cheick Kongo as well as a grudge match between Phil Davis and Vinny Magalhaes. Opening our evening in a fun-little-lightweight-scrap is Jim Miller and Pat Healy. We will, we will rock you, guys.
Intro-hype videos – Bisping and Belcher do a nice job of building the feud. Chael says he’s not old and slow, rather the king of the middleweight division and presumably the light heavyweight one too because who else fights there honestly. Jones vows to teach Tha Gansta some respect.
I swear to Christ I’m going to buy those shitty 20th Century Masters greatest hits of CCR and cruise down these streets thinking I’m Jim Miller.
Jim Miller vs. Pat Healy
Round 1: Miller sporting the shaved head tonight. The Herbster gets them going. No touch. Healy comes forward…both feeling out thus far. Miller with a body shot. Inside leg followed by a left by Miller. Miller with a good straight left. Healy misses a combo. Miller clinches and lets go. Miller with a low legkick. Crowd getting behind Miller. Nice slam by Miller and he finds himself on top. Miller with an elbow to the body, trying to work. Healy controlling Miller’s left arm. Healy looking for an armbar but he is unsuccessful. Healy goes for an omoplata but to no avail. Miller has a double-wrist lock, looking for an armbar. Miller successfully transitioning to get good positioning but Healy breaks free and they are on their feet. Healy with a good punch and knee to the body. Healy goes for a takedown and ends up on top of Miller. Healy postures up and gets Miller’s back. Healy has a hook in but Miller is back on his feet. Big takedown from Healy. Miller spins and winds up on top. The round closes as Healy goes for an armbar but Miller punches Healy a few times in the eye which looks pretty damaged. Miller 10-9.
Round 2: Mad swelling in Healy’s right eye. Healy with a nice left but Miller responds with a left hook. Healy initiates the clinch and trips Miller. Both are quick to get up and Miller clinches him against the fence. Healy with a big swing and a miss. Miller clinches Healy against the fence once more. Miller with a solid elbow but Healy ducks under afterwards and gets the takedown. Healy on top in half-guard position. Miller going for an armbar. Miller loses it and Healy trying to work ground and pound. Healy with some nice shots from the top. Miller keeps looking for a submission but allows Healy in side control. Miller trying to stand up and Healy takes his back. Healy continues by punching and is looking to better his position. Healy has a choke in and Miller looks to be in trouble. Miller escapes but Healy mounts him. Miller escapes and elbows Healy. Miller crouching but Healy grabs on to his ankle. Miller gets up but is taken down again. Both men stand up against the fence and Healy follows up with some shots. Miller looks hurt from a knee thrown by Healy. 10-9 Healy.
Round 3: It’s one a piece. Swelling under both men’s eyes. Healy with some uppercuts as they both clinch. Big right hook by Miller. Miller going for a takedown, scramble and they’re back up. Miller with a hook to the body. Miller has got Healy clinched against the fence and lets go. Healy tags him with a right. Healy throws a knee that lands low and Miller grimaces as it goes unnoticed. Healy relentlessly going for a takedown and ends up on top. Healy looking for an arm-triangle but switches his positioning. Miller trying to utilize the rubber-guard but it isn’t working. Healy takes his back and starts punching. Healy now looking for a choke. Rogan insinuating the last round should follow Pride rules. Healy on top with a full-rear naked choke and Miller is stopped. My goodness, talk about irony.
Miller was out for a split second and wakes back up angrily. Gosh, this Pat Healy.
Pat Healy def. Jim Miller by Submission (Rear-Naked Choke), Round 3, 4:02.
Big LOL. Buffer screws up and declares Miller the winner…excuses himself and decalares Healy the winner. Hey, it was inevitable.
Dudes who aren’t supposed to win, 1-0.
Pretty excited about this fight, definitely could be the darkhorse of the card. It could also be worse than meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time as her father shows you how good he is on the stock market.
Phil Davis vs. Vinny Magalhaes
Round 1: No touch, obviously. Headkick misses by Vinny. Vinny goes for a frontkick and misses that too. Vinny throwing some wild kicks. Davis gets a right hand in. Both men clinched up against the fence. Vinny breaks through and they’re back in the center. Vinny throws a low leg-kick. Davis with a big high-kick and rocks Vinny. He tags Vinny with a big left hand. Davis not pursuing just yet – Vinny was hurt. Left jab by Davis but Vinny gets him down and takes his back. Davis escapes and Vinny stands back up too. Davis throws a one-two combo that misses. Vinny rushes in and misses with a left hook. Nice uppercut by Vinny and Davis gets a right-hand in as well. Davis with a nice combination and Vinny gets poked. Big Dan tells him to keep going and Vinny protests. They keep going and Vinny misses a big kick to the body. Davis with a right hand and the round closes. Hard to judge but I’ll go with 10-9 Davis.
Round 2: Rogan tells Mirgliotta to pay attention but Big Dan probably doesn’t hear it. Big right hand by Vinny. Frontkick by Davis but it doesn’t connect. Both men in a technical striking battle thus far. Davis reaches for his back and goes for the takedown. Davis decides not to enter the guard and lets Vinny back up. Nice right hand by Davis followed by a left that connects. Left hook by Davis hits Vinny right in the chin. Vinny with a high-kick that just misses. Vinny missing most of his kicks as Davis continues to throw his one-two’s. Jab connects for Davis. Vinny looking tired as Davis fakes the takedown and follows up with a big right hand. Davis secures the takedown but lets Vinny up immediately, staying away from his guard. Jab by Davis rocks Vinny’s head back. Highkick and another stiff jab by Davis. Body shot by Davis. Vinny looking rather zombified. Both men exchange jabs as the round closes. 10-9 Davis.
Round 3: Vinny looking a little busier. He’s trying to take Davis down (as his corner wanted him to) but it’s just not working. He connects with good left but Davis is doing a good job of defending. Davis checks a legkick. Nice left jab by Vinny. Davis goes for a takedown and lets Vinny back up again – which is clearly frustrating the hell out of Vinny. Davis with a big right hand that connects. Davis carefully picking his shots. The crowd is getting a bit restless. Headkick by Vinny but it does not trouble Phil who blocks it. Davis is doing a great job of setting up the jab and getting the shots he wants. Neither man really looking to finish the fight. Vinny tries to clinch with him but it’s not working. Vinny throws himself on the ground after a failed takedown attempt and is told to get back up. Davis a few solid jabs and the fight comes to a close. Slow third round but a good striking display from Davis. 10-9 Davis.
Both men hug after talking a whole lot about each other, good to see.
Phil Davis def. Vinny Magalhaes by Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28).
Davis salutes Vinny and throws out a “Save Olympic Wrestling”.
This shitstorm of a card sort of needs a knockout right now so….OMG WAKA! Anyhow, Arianny promotes the UFC Magazine and obviously puts it right in front of her breasts, promoting what she feels really matters. Nice PR move there.
Like I was saying, we sort of need what my paysans would call an “espresso fight”…time for Big Country vs. Napoleon.
Kongo comes out to an atrocious version on what sounds like that Run DMC vs. Jason Nevins track but I have no freaking clue.
Nelson out to “Born In The USA”, by Jersey’s own homeboy and the only man who makes me cry at night.
Roy Nelson vs. Cheick Kongo
Round 1: Mulhall gets them going. Kongo throws a kick but Nelson catches it and initiates the clinch. We certainly don’t need a wall and stall fight right now but that’s what’s up thus far. Ref warns them to work. Kongo tries to escape but Nelson pits him back against the cage. Nelson goes for the suplex but Mulhall breaks them, to the dismay of let-them-work enthusiast Rogain. Roy clocks him with a humungous right hand as Kongo goes backwards and he is out. Okay.
That is exactly what this crowd and MMA media all over the world needed. A big, overhead right.
Roy Nelson def. Cheick Kongo by Knockout, Round 1, 2:03.
Nelson wants the gold. Calls out UFC 160. Third-straight, first-round knockout for Roy, who is making a serious case for a title fight right now.
Rogan looking over the middleweight rankings and declares the division “a murderous row”, instead of declaring the rankings “a murderous row”.
Now if someone goes out in the first and we don’t get a tattoo, how will you feel about Sonnen then?
Belcher out to “Little Wing”. I’ll be assembling a UFC 159: Walkout Songs from The American Fighters OST on iTunes later on, hit me up for a copy.
Kevin Mulhall checks Belcher’s wrap before Belcher gets in the cage. Easily the worst night of this referee’s life. Bisping comes out to the most obnoxious, 2:30am drunk white-girl singalong in the history of DJ failures, Blur’s “Song 2″.
Michael Bisping vs. Alan Belcher
Round 1: Solid staredown and Bisping bumps Belcher’s chest. Belcher’s wraps get cut off because they’re signed. Belcher comes out southpaw. Good movement from Belcher so far. Bisping with a low legkick but it gets checked. Bisping misses a right hand. Dean temporarily stops the fight for a low-blow but Bisping shrugs it off. Belcher’s hands fairly low. A lot of movement from both men while the “USA” chants start. Inside legkick by Bisping. Bisping with a kick to the body. Both men circling and missing most of their strikes. Bisping certainly pressing the action. Nice right hand by Bisping. Big right hand by Belcher, Bisping shrugs it off. Legkick checked by Belcher. Bisping gets a left jab in. Bisping catches Belcher with a right hand. Nothing seriously damaging both fighters right now. Eyepoke by Belcher and they stop the fight temporarily. Both men circling in the center and Belcher slips. Not much going on here. Big right hand by Bisping as the horn sounds. 10-9 Bisping.
Round 2: Belcher comes out swinging right away.Belcher throws a combination but misses it. Bisping looks to strike on the inside but Belcher pushes him away. Highkick by Bisping just misses. Nice uppercut by Bisping. Bisping tags him again with a left and then a solid right hand. Big left hand by Bisping gets through in an exchange. Belcher misses a low legkick. Belcher not respecting Bisping’s hands. Bisping connects with the right hand again. Bisping tags him with a jab followed by a right hand and Belcher isn’t blocking anything. Bisping leading with his left hand and is successful with another combination. Both men exchange right hands. Huge left hand by Bisping. Bisping goes for a highkick but misses. Left hand by Belcher followed by a right. Belcher connects with another right but Bisping connects with a nice combination. 10-9 Bisping.
Round 3: Bisping opens up with a big right hand. Belcher starts working his combinations better. Belcher throws and Bisping laughs at Belcher and says, “What was that?” Hilarious. Bisping with a solid overhead right. Bisping successfully circling around his opponent and getting some jabs in. Belcher is slowing down and his hands are staying besides his hips. Another solid right hand by Bisping. Headkick connects by Bisping, doesn’t trouble Belcher though. Bisping with an inside legkick. Bisping really finding a home for that right hand and Belcher does not look like he’s being that urgent right now. Bisping with another right hand, followed by another (not too powerful, though). Bisping picks up the pace and tags Belcher with a left hook. Belcher shoots for the takedown but it is easily stuffed. Action is a little slow in the final minute. Major eyepoke and Belcher crumbles. Keep those surgeries in mind. Belcher has blood coming out of his eye, unless his eyebrow is bleeding. Nope, it’s the eye. The fight is over and Belcher cannot continue. Both men congratulate each other. Nasty, nasty night. Bisping apologizes and both men seem cool.
Michael Bisping def. Alan Belcher by Technical Decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
Ok, so the bet was off? Rogan makes the case for the changing of gloves once more, which has more merit than it ever has. Bisping congratulates Belcher and apologizes for the unintentional blow. Main event time and to be honest, let’s get this shitshow over with.
Goldie says this is a highly-anticipated matchup and no, it’s not…but at this point I’ll take whatever I can after spending fifty Canadian bones on this thing instead of spending the rent money on The Smashing Pumpkins’ Siamese Dream reissue.
Sonnen comes out in a blue Paulie Malignaggi boxing robe. Might as well go out like a gangster. And the boos reign down for God’s son, although he comes out to 50 which is cool but immediately switches to Jammin’ by Bob. I mean, ok cool, pick one though. This isn’t sponsored by David Guetta.
Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen
Round 1: Sonnen takes the center quickly and Jones gets the takedown (!). Sonnen is back up landing some punches from the clinch. Jones goes for another takedown and clinches Sonnen against the fence. Hmm, interesting. Sonnen gets a big takedown again. Big elbow from the top from Jones. Sonnen back up but Jones is still hanging on. Sonnen has his back against the cage and is trying to fight the champion off. Jones is basically using Sonnen’s strategy. Jones is working a single-leg and lands a big uppercut. Spinning elbow by Jones, followed by uppercuts to the body as Sonnen hasn’t moved with his back against the cage. Massive takedown by Jones. The champ is in top position as Chael doesn’t have an answer yet. Nice elbow by Jones from top position. Jones grabs Sonnen’s arms and Jones swarms on Sonnen with some massive elbows. Jones relentless and the referee steps in. Chael protests the stoppage, bloodied.
Jones hit him with a knee to the body and swarmed him with elbows. Early stoppage? Not sure, I think Sonnen would have melted in there.
Jon Jones def. Chael Sonnen by TKO (Strikes), Round 1, 4:33.
Jones has a broken foot that looks utterly gross. Blood spewing from the toes. Rogan gives us the first post-fight stool interview. Jones says he was supposed to go to Jamaica but can’t now. I want to turn this off now. This fight felt like waiting in line for that rollercoaster that you know is going to suck and a soccer mom pukes on the back of your neck twelve seconds in. Sonnen confirms it was a justified stoppage. Sonnen is disappointed (duh) and says he will think it through. Sonnen unofficially retires in the cage, I’m guessing.
Man, that fight felt forced down our throats and it totally was. Glad this card is over; it wasn’t a memorable one to say the least. Y’all think the eyepoke could have been on purpose but I’m not surprised with the Bisping hate. It’s hard to say – like 22% of Kongo’s nut shots. That’s it for me tonight. Thankfully I’ve got the luxury of a PVR in front of me and since I’ve got an on-again, off-again hatred for Canadian nightlife, I’ll be watching the handful of boxing fights from earlier tonight (sin to the moronic MMA fan, I know). Also, these Killer Mike and Motorhead tapes aren’t going to download themselves. Goodnight.
Update: 
