(“Based on the odor, I would say this man’s been dead for three days.” / Photo via MMAFighting)
Our old bro Ben Fowlkes has written an in-depth double-interview feature-thingy on the UFC’s dynamic matchmaking duo of Joe Silva and Sean Shelby. If you want to learn more about how these guys operate, where they came from, and what they consider to be worst part of their job, give it a read. Personally, our favorite part is this bit in which Sean Shelby reveals the truth behind a baffling UFC mystery — how the hell was the epic UFC 148 squash-match between Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie booked in the first place? Dig it:
[W]hen McKenzie wanted to come down [to featherweight], initially Shelby wasn’t sure he could use him. Then Bart Palaszewski pulled out of a fight with Mendes, and suddenly the situation changed.
“What people don’t understand is, it’s not like I could just remove Chad from the card and say, ‘Sorry, I can get you a fight four months from now,'” Shelby said. “We understand. You spent money on a camp. You’ve got bills to pay. We will do our best to find you a fight. I bend over backward to keep guys in fights, to keep the machine moving. You have to.”
That’s another part of the process that outsiders don’t always get, Silva and Shelby said. Fighters are promised a certain number of fights within a certain number of months. Keep them on the sidelines too long, and the UFC could be in breach of contract. Beyond that, they’d also risk turning the UFC into the kind of promotion they hate.
(“Based on the odor, I would say this man’s been dead for three days.” / Photo via MMAFighting)
Our old bro Ben Fowlkes has written an in-depth double-interview feature-thingy on the UFC’s dynamic matchmaking duo of Joe Silva and Sean Shelby. If you want to learn more about how these guys operate, where they came from, and what they consider to be worst part of their job, give it a read. Personally, our favorite part is this bit in which Sean Shelby reveals the truth behind a baffling UFC mystery — how the hell was the epic UFC 148 squash-match between Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie booked in the first place? Dig it:
[W]hen McKenzie wanted to come down [to featherweight], initially Shelby wasn’t sure he could use him. Then Bart Palaszewski pulled out of a fight with Mendes, and suddenly the situation changed.
“What people don’t understand is, it’s not like I could just remove Chad from the card and say, ‘Sorry, I can get you a fight four months from now,’” Shelby said. “We understand. You spent money on a camp. You’ve got bills to pay. We will do our best to find you a fight. I bend over backward to keep guys in fights, to keep the machine moving. You have to.”
That’s another part of the process that outsiders don’t always get, Silva and Shelby said. Fighters are promised a certain number of fights within a certain number of months. Keep them on the sidelines too long, and the UFC could be in breach of contract. Beyond that, they’d also risk turning the UFC into the kind of promotion they hate.
“You hear fighters [in other organizations] complain, ‘I haven’t fought in eight months, and they won’t return my calls,’” Silva said. “We don’t want to be like that, but to do that we have to keep a tight rein on how many people you have under contract.”
Ideally, the UFC would like to have most fighters stepping in the cage once every four months or so, for an average of three fights a year. Injuries only complicate the picture, especially when you’re trying to find a replacement to face one of the division’s top fighters, which was exactly the situation Shelby faced with Mendes.
“I can’t pull people out of other matches to fix this one,” Shelby said. “Then you’re just kicking the can down the road. But imagine trying to get someone to fight Chad Mendes on two weeks’ or even a month’s notice.”
Then Shelby’s phone rang. It was McKenzie.
“He called me, and I remember this very well, and he said, ‘I want to commit to 145 (pounds),’” Shelby recalled. “I told him I didn’t have any room, but I do have this one opening. I told him, ‘I don’t think you should take this fight, but…’”
You can imagine where it went from there. McKenzie’s a fighter, after all. He jumped on the opening, all but pleading with Shelby to give him the fight. Shelby was reluctant at first, he said, but, “I had nobody.”
“I mean, nobody,” he said. “It’s not like I can sign some random guy. I’ve already got all the top 10 in the world [at 145 pounds]. I had no other choices.”
And so the fight got made, McKenzie got dropped with a body shot, and Shelby got the blame. That’s how it goes when you’re a matchmaker. With the benefit of hindsight, everyone’s an expert. They’ll all say they knew exactly how it was going to go down and you’d have to be an idiot to make that fight in the first place.
We’d imagine that Mendes’s follow-up booking against Yaotzin Meza must have resulted from a similarly desperate situation, but that, friends, is a story for another day.
(“All right, boys, break it up.” Photo via Getty Images.)
Josh Burkman’s incredible and somewhat controversial (MAZZAGATTI!!) walk-off submission of the nearly-unsubmittable Jon Fitch at WSOF 3 (video here) may be old news by this point, but it’s been keeping us up nights here at CagePotato ever since. Not because of how shocking or unpredictable it was, but because we couldn’t honestly recall the last time we saw a fighter act as judge, jury, executioner and medieval corpse disposer during his own fight.
The walk-off knockout, while equally entertaining and respectable, is a lot easier to come by based on its definition alone. The walk-off submission, however, is an entirely different beast, so let’s take a look back at eight classic examples of this phenomenon (in no particular order) to honor those who were actually able to pull it off. Enjoy.
Ah yes, the very first walk-off submission in UFC History. In every sense of the word.
(“All right, boys, break it up.” Photo via Getty Images.)
Josh Burkman’s incredible and somewhat controversial (MAZZAGATTI!!) walk-off submission of the nearly-unsubmittable Jon Fitch at WSOF 3 (video here) may be old news by this point, but it’s been keeping us up nights here at CagePotato ever since. Not because of how shocking or unpredictable it was, but because we couldn’t honestly recall the last time we saw a fighter act as judge, jury, executioner and medieval corpse disposer during his own fight.
The walk-off knockout, while equally entertaining and respectable, is a lot easier to come by based on its definition alone. The walk-off submission, however, is an entirely different beast, so let’s take a look back at eight classic examples of this phenomenon (in no particular order) to honor those who were actually able to pull it off. Enjoy.
Ah yes, the very first walk-off submission in UFC History. In every sense of the word.
To recount the story of the very first UFC event would be a disservice to as learned an audience as you Taters, but suffice it to say, it was a clusterfuck. Sumo wrestlers getting their teeth kicked out by savateurs 1/3rd their size, future professional wrestlers breaking street fighters legs with whatever the hell “submissions” were supposed to be…it was a mess. But at the center of the chaos was a man with a modest goal: Proving that he was the best fighter (with the best fighting style) on the entire goddamned planet. That man was Royce Gracie, and his first step toward immortality came in the form of a guy wearing one boxing glove and some sick Nikes.
You know how the story goes, Gracie took Jimmerson down and mounted him almost immediately. Completely out of his element and likely believing that the man on top of him was about to rape his bellybutton, Jimmerson tapped. The tap was so baffling that neither Gracie nor the ref truly knew what had happened, but after a moment to clarify that yes, Jimmerson was getting far too old for this shit, Royce stood up and walked away, his first UFC victory secured. To this day, the referee involved has no idea what the f*ck went down that night.
Otherwise known as the walk-off submission that did not get Jon Jones some fans, Bones’ guillotine of Lyoto Machida at UFC 140 was a work of cold-blooded perfection. Having arguably lost the first round of his UFC career, Jones caught Lyoto coming in with a beautifully timed left hand late in the second. The light heavyweight kingpin then snatched up the choke and pressed Machida against the fence, utilizing the almighty power of the fulcrum to put the Brazilian out on his feet.
It was a finish made all the more impressive when you consider that “The Dragon” is a Jiu-Jitsu black belt himself who had never been submitted in his previous 19 contests. Yet Jones was able to choke him unconscious with what appeared to be minimal effort, then drop him to the canvas like a bag of piss-stained bed sheets. Not bad for a guy who claims that Jiu-Jitsu is his “weakness.”
Otherwise known as the most Diazian submission in the history of the brothers Diaz.
After securing the TUF 5 plaque by successfully disabling Manny Gamburyan‘s shoulder with a set of nunchucks backstage at the season finale (you didn’t know about that?), the younger Diaz passed his first two post-TUF tests with flying colors, successively submitting Junior Assuncao and Alvin Robinson. Diaz would meet his first true test, however, when he was booked against Kurt “Batman” Pellegrino at Fight Night 13.
As is often the case with a Diaz fight, birthday party, or family trip to Old Country Buffet, there was a preexisting beef that needed to be squashed here. You see, Pellegrino used to be a member of Team Renzo Gracie. Then he wasn’t. Therefore, traitor. It was a rivalry that, uh, rivaled such rivilous rivalries as Duke vs. UNC, Anthony vs. Roth, Zimmer vs. Martinez…you get the point. It was also a fight that Pellegrino was utterly dominating with top control and some vicious ground and pound in the first round. The fact that he was making “bitch ass lady sounds” whilst doing so did not take away from this fact.
But there’s an old 209 adage that, loosely translated, states, “It’s damn near impossible to finish a Stocktonian.” Or perhaps it goes, “It’s damn near impossible for a Stocktonian to finish High School.” In either case, a bloodied and bruised Diaz rallied in the second, and brilliantly countered a Pellegrino takedown by pushing off the fence and positioning his legs to set up a triangle choke in mid-air. And when a Diaz knows he has your number, the taunting begins. Although not necessarily a “walk-off” submission, the fact that Diaz was able to prematurely celebrate with both Stockton standby taunts (the muscle flex and the Heybuddy) is arguably just as badass.
See also: Diaz vs. Guillard
Shinya Aoki vs. Mizuto Hirota – K1 Dynamite!! Power of Courage 2009
Otherwise known as the “talk-off, walk-off” submission.
Speaking of two guys who absolutely hated each other, DREAM lightweight champion Shinya Aoki was rather public about his beef with Sengoku champion Mizuto Hirota in the weeks leading up to their battle at Power of Courage 2009. He called the fight a “disgrace” to his family, pretended to not know who Hirota was, dressed like a schoolgirl; pretty standard stuff, really. Hirota returned fire by mocking Aoki’s fighting style, saying some particularly nasty things about his family, and calling him a “repulsive” person. So when these two clashed heads on New Year’s Eve, we expected that at least one of them would be kicking off 2010 in a hospital bed. As is usually the case, we were spot on.
Hirota never stood a chance, truth be told. Aoki secured a takedown within the opening seconds of the round, worked his way to mount, secured a police-style hammerlock and started cranking. To his credit, Aoki gave Hirota every chance in the world to tap, even warning Hirota what was coming at one point. As the man himself put it:
He was very disrespectful to me before the fight. When I had his arm, he had a chance to tap and he chose not to. I’m not going to give up the submission just because my opponent is too arrogant to not tap. So I broke his arm.
That’s right, a “talk-off” submission. Hirota refused to tap and Aoki obliged with a snap. Taking a page right out of the Diaz playbook, Aoki then proceeded to flip off his injured opponent and the attending audience before disappearing backstage. So technically, this was a “talk-off, flip-off, walk-off” submission.
On the “next page” of our tribute: An absolutely brutal IFL gem, a legend’s final triumph, and a future legend’s most shocking loss…
As a big fan of TUF 12’s Cody McKenzie, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to fault the guy for his nonsensical and often self-destructive decisions, especially when it comes to choosing his opponents. The man reaches for the stars, dammit, and will simply not be told that he doesn’t have the right to call out Frankie Edgar, or Jose Aldo, or Chad Mendes, despite the fact that just managed to bring his win-loss ratio in the UFC to the .500 mark.
No, “The AK Kid” wasn’t one to overthink, or even realizethe fact that he had dropped 3 out of his last 4 fights heading into his do-or-die bout with Leonard Garcia at UFC 159, which is why it makes total sense that he, now a featherweight, is calling out top lightweight contender Josh Thomson, like he didn’t just save his UFC career by beating a guy on a four-fight losing streak. How can you not love this kid?
As a big fan of TUF 12′s Cody McKenzie, I’ve come to realize that it’s hard to fault the guy for his nonsensical and often self-destructive decisions, especially when it comes to choosing his opponents. The man reaches for the stars, dammit, and will simply not be told that he doesn’t have the right to call out Frankie Edgar, or Jose Aldo, or Chad Mendes, despite the fact that just managed to bring his win-loss ratio in the UFC to the .500 mark.
No, “The AK Kid” wasn’t one to overthink, or even realizethe fact that he had dropped 3 out of his last 4 fights heading into his do-or-die bout with Leonard Garcia at UFC 159, which is why it makes total sense that he, now a featherweight, is calling out top lightweight contender Josh Thomson, like he didn’t just save his UFC career by beating a guy on a four-fight losing streak. How can you not love this kid?
I hate to say it, but we need more Cody McKenzies in the UFC. Actually, I didn’t hate saying that at all. While Andy, GSP, and Jonny Boy continue with their increasingly frustrating Sam and Diane (and Rebecca, I guess) routine, McKenzie is busy calling out dudes one to two weight classes up from him because big whoop, wanna fight about it? It’s a refreshing attitude in today’s picky-choosy MMA landscape, but also one that usually ends with McKenzie getting his ass kicked.
As you would expect, Thomson got all high-n’-mighty on McKenzie in response, thus proving the Alaskan’s superiority:
What’s the matter, Punk? Are you just afraid of easy paychecks, or getting your ass handed to you by a sasquatch in board shorts?! What are you hiding from?! SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, OBAMA! #MCKENZIEFORPRESIDENT #ARMYOFONE
If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.
Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.
Elsewhere on the card…
(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)
If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.
Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.
Elsewhere on the card…
– Roy Nelson picked up his third straight first round knockout last night – as well as the $65,000 Knockout of the Night honors – by dropping Cheick Kongo with a huge overhand right just two minutes into the fight. While the end result isn’t particularly surprising, it is a bit odd to hear Dana White say that Nelson earned a fight against either Mark Hunt or Daniel Cormier for his next outing. Not only are both fighters gigantic steps up in competition from Kongo, but also Roy Nelson is a step backwards for each of them. Strange times.
– For all that we heard about the improved striking of Vinny Magalhaes, he certainly didn’t let it show last night. He looked lost on his feet against Phil Davis – who isn’t exactly a world-class striker himself – even though Davis threw the same combination for pretty much the entire fight. “Mr Wonderful” was able to avoid Vinny’s leg kicks for most of the fight and utilize his superior reach on his way to a unanimous decision victory. While his striking appears to have improved, the lack of aggression that Davis displayed after hurting Magalhaes with an attempted head kick early in the first round seems to suggest that he isn’t quite ready for the deep end of the division just yet.
– Don’t let his unimposing MMA record fool you: Pat Healy is tough draw for anyone right now, and he proved it last night by taking out the always game Jim Miller. Healy survived an early onslaught from Miller that saw his right eye swell up. He went on to control the second and third rounds before locking up the fight ending rear-naked choke. If anyone is still questioning the legitimacy of the Strikeforce lightweights, you can kindly stop doing so now.
– Not only did both Jim Miller and Pat Healy take home $65,000 for Fight of the Night, but Pat Healy also took home the $65,000 Submission of the Night honors. Taking home $130,000 in bonus money alone for a victory is about as successful of a return to the big leagues as one can possibly hope to make.
– Leonard Garcia lost to Cody McKenzie, making it five straight losses in a row in the UFC. He now joins Steve Cantwell as the only two fighters to lose five consecutive fights that have all been in the UFC (in other words, five straight fights, five straight losses, no time in the minor leagues between any of them). His future is officially “not looking good.”
– One last note, Sheila Gaff immediately answered our questions as to whether or not she can stop Sara McMann’s takedowns by running directly into one. I can’t remember the last time I saw a fight end up on the ground that quickly, but at least McMann wasn’t content to just coast to an easy victory. McMann earned a first round TKO in the third WMMA fight in UFC history.
Full Results:
Main Card:
Jon Jones def. Chael Sonnen via TKO, 4:33 of Round One
Michael Bisping def. Alan Belcher via Technical Decision (unanimous), 4:29 of Round Three
Roy Nelson def. Cheick Kongo via KO, 2:03 of Round One
Phil Davis def. Vinny Magalhaes via Unanimous Decision
Pat Healy def. Jim Miller via Submission (rear naked choke), 4:03 of Round Three
Preliminary Card:
Rustam Khabilov def. Yancy Medeiros via TKO (injury), 2:32 of Round One
Ovince St. Preux def. Gian Villante via Technical Decision (majority) 0:33 of Round Three
Sara McMann def. Sheila Gaff via TKO (punches), 4:06 of Round One
Bryan Caraway def. Johnny Bedford via Submission (guillotine choke), 4:44 of Round Three
Cody McKenzie def. Leonard Garcia via Unanimous Decision
Steven Siler def. Kurt Holobaugh via Unanimous Decision
(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)
With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.
Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?
BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.
I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.
JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.
And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:
(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)
With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.
Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?
BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.
I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.
JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.
And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:
I just got a call from Dana, he said ‘Chael, I think it’s time to hang ‘em up.’ ‘You see, You’re overpaid, and at light-heavy, you kind of suck.’ ‘You’ve been losing fights, without much brain or brawn And your WWE-shtick is starting to make fans yawn’ ‘I mean, no one’s coming to see you in living rooms or bars, Maybe you should stick to MMA Tonight, or become a pro-wrasslin superstar.’ He handed me a pink slip, a FOTN-bonus, his ATM card and pin. He said, ‘Chael, take it all, then get the fuck back to West Linn.’ I thought for a moment and I said, ‘I’ll tell ya’ what, Uncle D.’
‘You need not worry, for these arms and these charms, you will not again see.’
If Leonard Garcia vs. Cody McKenzie ends in anything but a Fight of the Year-earning draw, someone is getting fired, right? Right?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, SOMEONE TELL ME I’M RIGHT.
JJ: You’re right, so take a step away from the ledge, brosef. If Cody McKenzie loses, he’s getting axed (or should I say, GUILLOTINED…*crickets*…damn, play me off, Johnny!) for sure. Common logic dictates it. McKenzie’s three losses in his past four contests dictate it. The almighty chart even dictates it. As a big fan of the TUF 12 alum/thorn in Josh Koscheck’s ass, it saddens me to realize that McKenzie could possibly receive his walking papers on account of a guy whose continued employment undermines the newly-established firing policy of the organization he is fighting for. Then again, if McKenzie can’t beat Garcia – and the oddsmakers seem to think he won’t — perhaps he doesn’t really belong in the UFC anyway.
As for Garcia, well, I’m convinced by now that he could walk out in a banana hammock puffing a blunt on Saturday, get choked out in the first 30 seconds, and test positive for bath salts in the aftermath of his vehicular rampage across southern California and still not get fired. I’ve got nothing against the guy – he’s consistently entertaining to his own detriment (a common trait among my favorite fighters) and I honestly think Max Holloway was “blessed” *crickets, tumbleweeds* with the decision in their fight at UFC 155. At this point, we should just start asking ourselves which will come first: Garcia’s firing or the legalization of MMA in New York? Honestly, I’m picking the latter.
BG: I’ll just argue on the side of logic then. Nobody in UFC history has lost five consecutive fights and kept their contract, and Garcia won’t be the one to break that trend. And it doesn’t matter if the fight is a barnburner — even if it wins Fight of the Night, the UFC will finally realize that Garcia is a guy who can’t even beat the Cody McKenzies of the world, and cut him loose. To do otherwise would be goddamned unseemly. Even Garcia seems to be preparing for the inevitable. (I feel it’s my duty to point out that Garcia would currently be on a seven-fight losing streak if he wasn’t gifted those ill-gotten wins over Chan Sung Jung and Nam Phan in 2010.)
McKenzie has a little more wiggle room because he’s not carrying the same kind of lengthy losing streak into this fight; at least he can say he’s won a match in the last 12 months. Cody is goofy and likable, and most importantly, cheap. If he loses in a hard-fought battle — especially if he gets screwed by the judges, which is always a possibility when you’re fighting Leonard Garcia — I say he keeps his job.
Alan Belcher recently released a video where he said, “Michael Bisping couldn’t hurt me with his best punch solid to my chin…There will be at least one time in the fight where I’m just going to drop my hands and say ‘come on man, give it your best shot’.” We already know that this sort of thing is a bad idea. How bad of an idea is it against Bisping specifically, and will you cheer if Bisping knocks Belcher the fuck out for trying it?
BG: Bisping may not be known for his one-punch knockout power, and maybe Belcher could get away with giving the Count a free one. (If you’ll recall, Chris Leben tried the exact same thing against Bisping and avoided a KO, although he was on PCP at the time or something.) But let’s be honest: This is a straight-up asshole move, and it puts Belcher in danger for absolutely no reason. Dismissing your opponent’s power is one of the surest ways to get dicknailed by karma. Personally, I’ll be laughing my ass off if it actually happens. But considering that Bisping has been his usual charming self in the leadup to this fight, I’ll be pretty satisfied if the Count gets knocked out instead. For the record, I don’t think anybody’s going to sleep in this one: Bisping by decision.
JJ: I’d like to think that Belcher possesses the kind of standup skills to put Bisping in all sorts of trouble, but methinks Belcher might be a little out of his league, like Jorge Rivera and Jason Miller before him. His biggest victory in his UFC career was arguably his trouncing of Rousimar Palhares, who isn’t exactly as feared by his middleweight counterparts as he once was. While Bisping has lost most of his fights against elite-level competition, he’s also faced a hell of a lot more elite competition than Belcher.
Will Belcher make good on his promise? Perhaps in the early going, but Bisping will probably be too content with his jab-n-jog strategy to even take him up on the offer. Will Bisping eventually knock him out? It’s hard to tell — the only guy to ever TKO Belcher in the UFC was Jason Day, who was also the last person Bisping was able to finish in the first round. MMA Math determines that Bisping will run through Belcher, but I think we should expect to see Bisping exploit Belcher’s subpar wrestling en route to a dominant but ultimately unsatisfying decision victory. In either case, the day I find myself cheering for Bisping will be the day that Nick Diaz gets his real estate license.
Is it possible for the UFC’s third WMMA fight to exceed our expectations given how amazing the first two were? Or has the bar been set at an unreachable level for Sara McMann and Sheila Gaff to achieve?
JJ: I’m of two minds about how the UFC has decided to introduce WMMA into their brand. On one hand, sprinkling female fights on various cards here and there is an idea that I am coming around to more and more each day. By simply introducing the fight as another fight, it makes the gender issue a non-issue and puts a lot of pressure on the ladies to perform, which has resulted in two amazing fights thus far. On the other hand, it does set the bar so high that you just know some fans out there are waiting for the slightest slip up — a slightly boring fight, perhaps — to write off the sport entirely.
That being said, how exciting this fight ends up being depends heavily on which fighter is able to keep the fight in their realm. If Sara McMann is able to use her Olympic wrestling pedigree to take Sheila Gaff down at will (which, again, she is heavily favored to do), this fight might not wind up being the most exciting thing in the world. But if Gaff is able to keep things standing and unleash her Tazmanian Devil offense, we could witness the first “Knockout of the Night” in UFC-WMMA history. If that doesn’t silence some haters, I don’t know what will.
BG: As much as I like Sara McMann as a human being — I don’t know her personally, but she just seems like a super lady — I agree that a quick, vicious knockout from Sheila Gaff is probably the best-case scenario here, if the goal is to convince skeptical UFC fans that anything is possible in a women’s fight. And Gaff can certainly make that happen, as she possesses a level of punching power that’s downright Rothenhauslerian.
But look, there’s a reason this fight is on the FX prelims instead of the main card. As you hinted at above, a measured, wrestling-based gameplan from McMann will likely be the story of this fight, and the UFC is hedging a little just in case it’s a dull affair. It’s overly dramatic to suggest that the marketability of women in the UFC will be affected much by this bout, but it’s kind of up to Sara McMann to make this a memorable fight. If she takes Gaff down and TKOs or submits her, it’ll be a good one. If she stands and bangs, it’ll be a good one. If she just lays on top of Gaff for three rounds or executes some Cormier-style wall-and-stall, it won’t be good — not for the viewers at home, and not for McMann’s immediate title prospects.
BG: Get the fuck out of here. Whether Magalhaes has more “skills” than Davis (as he claims) is debatable. What isn’t is that Davis has so much more relevant experience in the Octagon. I like how Magalhaes rags on Davis for not fighting anybody who was really good at grappling or striking — conveniently forgetting Davis’s wins over Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Alexander Gustafsson, it seems. Meanwhile, we’re supposed to give Vinny respect because of one UFC victory against Igor Pokrajac and a few wins over some Russian talent in M-1 Challenge? This is a huge step up in competition for Magalhaes. I really hope he’s taking it seriously, because he’s got his work cut out for him.
JJ: How can you talk about the 1X DEFENDING M-1 LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT G.O.A.T like that, bro? Vinny Magalhaes hangs out with Chael “The World’s Most Dangerous Man Fuck You Ken Shamrock” Sonnen and beats up Russians in his spare time. Russians, you guys. They’re like 5/6ths human, 1/3rd cyborg, and two-parts archangel on average, and you think Magalhaes can’t handle some pink tights-sporting pair of clownshoes who looks like Starvin Marvin and packs even less punching power?
We might detest him for it, but Vinny Magalhaes is about to single-handedly shatter the myth that things like “fighter rankings” or “octagon experience” or “notable wins” matter in a UFC fight. And it all begins with his first round, SOTY-earning gogoplata victory over Davis on Saturday.
Rustam Khabilov (a.k.a SLAM duh duuh duuh) is fighting a guy named Yancy.Yancy. Discuss.
JJ: Looks like I’ll have to revamp my “Worst Draws for a UFC Debut” article.It probably sucked anyway. But yeah, Yancy.
Khabilov by Khalibomb (Khalima-bomb?) at three seconds into the first.
BG: Yancy. It’s like “Nancy,” but with a Y. Personally, I’m more interested that Yancy Medeiros hasn’t competed in three years, and he’s dropping two weight classes for this fight, and his nickname is “Frisson.” But yeah, Yancy’s screwed here. Khabilov will throw him. How Yancy lands is his business.
BG: Nelson will win by KO, setting up a fight against Mark Hunt for the UFC’s inaugural HeavyDWeight Championship.
JJ: Trick question: Nelson by DQ after his testicles are literally kneed out of his scrotum by Kongo. Joe Rogan will then enter the octagon, scoop up Nelson’s testicles, and force Arianny and Brittney to eat them while the audience cheers them on.
We double-checked the list of fired fighters, then we triple checked it. We even created a flowchart to try and make sense of things, but it appears that as long as Garcia continues to treat strategy like Lloyd Irvin treats consent, he will always have a place in the UFC. It’s a luxury that his upcoming opponent, TUF 12 alum Cody McKenzie, cannot afford.
McKenzie and Garcia have in fact been rebooked for UFC 159 in what has to be a do-or-die fight for at least McKenzie, who has dropped three of his past four UFC contests including a 40 second KO via body punch loss to Chad Mendes in his last outing. Again, according to our chart, McKenzie’s current place on the “100 heavy” UFC roster makes about as much sense as Garcia’s, so expect these two to put on a show come April 27th. One of their UFC careers could depend on it.
So who takes this one, Potato Nation, the one-trick pony or the one-track mind?
The full lineup for UFC 159 is after the jump.
(“No, Leonard, I don’t know how they make Dippin’ Dots either.”)
We double-checked the list of fired fighters, then we triple checked it. We even created a flowchart to try and make sense of things, but it appears that as long as Garcia continues to treat strategy like Lloyd Irvin treats consent, he will always have a place in the UFC. It’s a luxury that his upcoming opponent, TUF 12 alum Cody McKenzie, cannot afford.
McKenzie and Garcia have in fact been rebooked for UFC 159 in what has to be a do-or-die fight for at least McKenzie, who has dropped three of his past four UFC contests including a 40 second KO via body punch loss to Chad Mendes in his last outing. Again, according to our chart, McKenzie’s current place on the “100 heavy” UFC roster makes about as much sense as Garcia’s, so expect these two to put on a show come April 27th. One of their UFC careers could depend on it.
So who takes this one, Potato Nation, the one-trick pony or the one-track mind?
The full lineup for UFC 159 is after the jump.
-Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen
-Alan Belcher vs. Michael Bisping
-Phil Davis vs. Vinny Magalhaes
-Pat Healy vs. Jim Miller
-Cheick Kongo vs. Roy Nelson
-Sheila Gaff vs. Sara McMann
-Nick Catone vs. James Head
-Jimy Hettes vs. Steven Siler
-Leonard Garcia vs. Cody McKenzie
-Al Iaquinta vs. Joe Proctor
-Ovince St. Preux vs. Gian Villante
-Rustam Khabilov vs. Yancy Medeiros
