When Oasis was on top of the music scene in the mid-’90s, lead guitarist and gifted mouthpiece Noel Gallagher said that if you told enough people you were the best band in the world, 50 percent of them would believe you. He then proceeded to tell…
When Oasis was on top of the music scene in the mid-’90s, lead guitarist and gifted mouthpiece Noel Gallagher said that if you told enough people you were the best band in the world, 50 percent of them would believe you. He then proceeded to tell basically everyone with ears exactly that. “Best” is subjective, […]
CagePotato Roundtable is our new recurring column in which the CP writing staff and some of our friends all get together to debate an MMA-related topic. Joining us this week is former CagePotato staff writer Chad Dundas, who now writes for an up-and-coming blog called ESPN. If you have a suggestion for a future Roundtable column, send it to [email protected].
CagePotato reader Alexander W. writes: “The Demetrious Johnson vs. Ian McCall fight inspired my suggestion: Greatest robberies in MMA history. I’d be curious to hear the variety of opinions out there. Surely that fight was a top ten.”
Chad Dundas
There are a lot of things about Pride Total Elimination 2003 that don’t make sense when viewed with modern MMA sensibilities. How to even comprehend a world where a skinny, haired-up, suit jacket-wearing Dana White could bet Pride bigwigs $250,000 that Chuck Liddell was going to win that company’s 2003 middleweight grand prix? Or comprehend that a bizarrely dangerous and clearly-enunciating Liddell showed up in the first round of said tournament and KTFOed an impossibly svelte Alistair Overeem? Or that Overeem had an old dude in a robe and shriners hat accompany him to the ring while carrying a big foam hammer? Or that on this night somebody got tapped out with a sleeve choke? Or that Wanderlei Silva fought Kazushi Sakuraba and it didn’t just make everybody feel sad and empty?
No sense at all.
What does still sort of make sense is this: After watching Liddell sleep Overeem, there was no way on God’s green Earth that Pride judges were going to let another UFC emissary walk out of Saitama Super Arena with a win*, so they conspired to pull off one of the greatest screwjobs in MMA history when they awarded Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira a unanimous decision over Ricco Rodriguez. The indisputable fact is, Ricco whipped Big Nog good that night, taking him down, brutalizing him, shaking off his feeble submission attempts and controlling pretty much the whole affair. At least, that’s how I remember it. Unfortunately, due to Zuffa’s ongoing war on Internet piracy it seems their bout will only be remembered by history and by the creepy old man who answers the queries you submit to the Sherdog Fight Finder.
CagePotato Roundtable is our new recurring column in which the CP writing staff and some of our friends all get together to debate an MMA-related topic. Joining us this week is former CagePotato staff writer Chad Dundas, who now writes for an up-and-coming blog called ESPN. If you have a suggestion for a future Roundtable column, send it to [email protected].
CagePotato reader Alexander W. writes: “The Demetrious Johnson vs. Ian McCall fight inspired my suggestion: Greatest robberies in MMA history. I’d be curious to hear the variety of opinions out there. Surely that fight was a top ten.”
Chad Dundas
There are a lot of things about Pride Total Elimination 2003 that don’t make sense when viewed with modern MMA sensibilities. How to even comprehend a world where a skinny, haired-up, suit jacket-wearing Dana White could bet Pride bigwigs $250,000 that Chuck Liddell was going to win that company’s 2003 middleweight grand prix? Or comprehend that a bizarrely dangerous and clearly-enunciating Liddell showed up in the first round of said tournament and KTFOed an impossibly svelte Alistair Overeem? Or that Overeem had an old dude in a robe and shriners hat accompany him to the ring while carrying a big foam hammer? Or that on this night somebody got tapped out with a sleeve choke? Or that Wanderlei Silva fought Kazushi Sakuraba and it didn’t just make everybody feel sad and empty?
No sense at all.
What does still sort of make sense is this: After watching Liddell sleep Overeem, there was no way on God’s green Earth that Pride judges were going to let another UFC emissary walk out of Saitama Super Arena with a win*, so they conspired to pull off one of the greatest screwjobs in MMA history when they awarded Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira a unanimous decision over Ricco Rodriguez. The indisputable fact is, Ricco whipped Big Nog good that night, taking him down, brutalizing him, shaking off his feeble submission attempts and controlling pretty much the whole affair. At least, that’s how I remember it. Unfortunately, due to Zuffa’s ongoing war on Internet piracy it seems their bout will only be remembered by history and by the creepy old man who answers the queries you submit to the Sherdog Fight Finder.
What stings the worst about the whole thing is that it’s easy to imagine an alternate universe where that decision went the other way. In that universe, maybe Rodriguez goes on to become one of the sport’s most beloved and respected figures, ascending to full-on legendary status and winning gold in both Pride and the UFC, before having his arm snapped by Frank Mir at UFC 140 without so much as changing the expression on his beautiful, leathery face. And instead it’s Big Nog who slips unceremoniously into obscurity, slumming it on Celebrity Rehab and fighting out his days at events like Israel FC, Cage Thug MMA, and Armageddon Fighting Championships.
If that universe is out there somewhere, I hope we all find it someday.
(*Yeah, I’m just guessing about all this, but it feels true in spirit.)
Look, everyone knows that a robbery in PRIDE means nothing because the whole thing was fake anyway. At least in those cases, you knew that the judges had their reasons. Here in America, we have robberies based off of pure, home-grown stupid. We produced the master karate sensai judge that thinks leg kicks are pointless. Out on the regional scene, in places like Texas, Ohio, Florida, and Arizona, we’ve seen decisions passed down that were mind-gobblingly incompetent. Try to forget that those same states are players in national politics.
So let me tell you bastards about Zoila Frausto. Frausto was fighting at bantamweight and walking around at 150 pounds before Bellator announced its only tournament for women in 2010 — at 115. It was a brutal weight cut, but Frausto made it. Throughout the tournament, her most impressive victories were over the scales. A bland weight-loss diet left her unable to train intensely, and her performances in the cage were every bit as anemic as you’d expect. She out-muscled a visibly smaller boxer in Jessica Pene in the quarter-finals, earning an uncontroversial, but uninspiring win.
Her opponent in the semis at Bellator 31 was Jessica Aguilar, a fantastically well-rounded fighter out of American Top Team. The Warrior Princess spent most of the fight backpedaling, and her face told a bruising tale after fifteen minutes. Aguilar didn’t have a scratch, but Frausto got a split decision — one of the judges gave her all three rounds. I honestly thought the judges were confused about the fighters’ identities — the decision was that bad. So Frausto advanced to the finals.
Here, at least, justice would be done. Frausto’s opponent was Megumi Fujii, the undefeated, best female fighter on the planet (she’s not a can crusher ben dammit icanthearyou lalalalalalalalalalala). Fujii had outclassed both her opponents in the tournament, and she’d have her way with this interloper and claim an American title.
Except she wouldn’t. Fujii, like some kind of insane Sakuraba with a vagina, elected to stand and box with the one-dimensional striker. Frausto does her best Leonard Garcia impression [Ed. note: Hold on, I’m getting to that. -BG], putting on an impressive show of offense without actually managing to do anything or even land most of her attacks. Fujii out-lands her, out-maneuvers her, and out-works her. But those big arm movements must be impressive from a distance. Despite Frausto’s swollen face and rapidly closing eye, one Florida judge scores it four rounds to one for her, another sees it a bit closer, one judge has a brain in his head but he’s outvoted and boom: Frausto catches another gift decision and claims the Bellator Straw-weight Championship.
Rematches with both Aguilar and Fujii have been pursued, but neither have ever materialized. To this day, the women’s rankings are skewed and Frausto retains the belt. She’s hasn’t fought at 115 since October 2010.
If you need a “real” answer, then fine: Leonard Garcia vs. Chan Sung Jung at WEC 48, which is the robbery by which all modern robberies are judged. It’s the LeBron James of robberies. Judges love Leonard Garcia because he grunts like a female tennis player when he throws punches, and that irrational love helped Garcia take a similar decision against Nam Phan in December 2010, and previously hypnotized one judge into scoring it Garcia’s way when he got blown out in all three rounds against Mark Hominick at WEC 51. But Garcia/Jung 1 has to be the worst of the lot — or anybody’s lot — because it added a foul aftertaste to the greatest MMA brawl since Griffin vs. Bonnar at the TUF 1 Finale. It’s the proverbial poop-pie at the end of a great southern meal.
According to FightMetric, Garcia shouldn’t have won any rounds of that fight, let alone two. Here’s how Bad Boy clinched the split-decision, despite being outstruck 106-71 — he scored two takedowns, and he was the aggressor for much of the fight, meaning that the faces he made while audibly whiffing his hooks were much scarier than his opponent’s, as the Korean Zombie was tagging Leonard at will. Obviously it wasn’t a career-ender for Jung, who got his revenge 11 months later. But it was such a perfect representation of what’s wrong with modern MMA judging: Striking totals don’t matter, each takedown counts for a billion points, and “Octagon Control” can always be used to justify scoring it for the guy you like better. Ugh. Terrible.
Whenever I think of a robbery, normally Matt Hamill and Michael Bisping immediately come to mind. But a fight that tops even that is Machida/Rua 1 at UFC 104. That fight was incredibly hyped because of “The Machida Era.” Everyone was so entranced by the Elusive one. The Dragon had us eating out of the palm of his hand. Besides, nobody really knew which Mauricio “Shogun” Rua would show up for the fight and to be honest, who could blame them? After multiple knee surgeries, a broken arm, and some seriously lackluster performances not many people saw this as anything but an uphill battle for Rua. Machida was even favored in the odds by over 4-1, and for good reason.
However, right from the start, Shogun took to the center of the Octagon and kept cutting angles on Machida. That set the stage for some dirty boxing but more importantly some incredibly vicious leg kicks. It was evident before the end of the first round that Shogun was landing the more damaging shots. Machida started off in southpaw, but as I said, those leg kicks quickly changed all of that, seeing as Machida needed to change stances during round three.
It became apparent in round four and five that Machida had slowed down considerably. Meanwhile, Rua kept pushing forward, landing harder strikes, cutting Machida off with angles, and pushing him against the cage. It seemed like Rua had it all in the bag. It isn’t often you find yourself agreeing with Mike Goldberg but this seemed like one of those times, a clear-cut unanimous decision for the challenger, right? Wrong.
Judges Cecil Peoples, Nelson Hamilton, and Marcos Rosales scored the bout 48-47 for Machida. Rosales and Peoples both scored the first three rounds in favor of the champion, while Hamilton gave Machida rounds two, three, and four. After the fight, Cecil Peoples stated that leg kicks don’t win fights, and further explained that he thought Machida was landing the cleaner, more efficient shots during the entirety of the fight. FightMetric, however, disagreed claiming Shogun outstruck Machida in round one (19 to 11), round two (21 to 7), round three (19 to 14), round four (10 to 4), and round five (13-6). I don’t know what three of MMA’s most experienced judges were smoking the night of UFC 104, but I would wager it smelled of shenanigans.
Remember that scene from The Hurricane, where the black Rubin Carter beats the hell out of the white Joey Giardello, yet loses on the scorecards of the blatantly racist white judges? Yeah, it turns out that the real fight was nothing like that. At all. Not that that should surprise you. That scene displayed such over-the-top biases that I’d assume something like that could never happen in real life if I wasn’t familiar with Mariusz Pudzianowksi vs. James Thompson II.
It’s not that I want to believe that the outcome was predetermined; it’s just that literally everything about the completely unnecessary rematch leads me to that conclusion. The rematch was booked for KSW 17: Revenge — an event named by the least subtle person to ever work for the Polish MMA promotion. While Mariusz Pudzianowski was unsurprisingly the overwhelming fan favorite, his only significant offensive output was a jab he landed early in the second round. Meanwhile, Thompson landed numerous takedowns and punches from the mount and side control throughout the fight. Thompson dominated, yet Pudzianowski was still declared the winner by majority decision. While a terrible decision shouldn’t always lead one to believe the bout was a work, it doesn’t help that one of the judges’ scorecards looked like this. The hometown hero had earned his revenge — on paper, at least.
The fight has since been declared a no-contest due to miscommunication between the judges, who declared the bout a draw which should have warranted a sudden-death round, and the referee. Not that it matters. Even if the miscommunication never occurred, the sudden-death round was completely unnecessary. Thompson won easily and has nothing but a no-contest on his record to show for it. Fauh-king joooooooooke, indeed.
Jared Jones
Marcos Galvao may be the most cursed man in the history of decisions. For every gift Leonard Garcia is undeservedly given, three Christmas presents are stolen from beneath Galvao’s children in their sleep, metaphorically speaking. I would quote something about the yin and yang of life, but being that I was recently ostracized from my tree dwelling commune for urinating on one too many stray animals, I will save the liberal hippie analogy for another day.
The point is, Galvao’s fight with Joe Warren at Bellator 41 was the first time in recent memory that I actually believed the judges were paid off. Fresh off his damn-near-heroic comeback victory over Joe Soto, in which he snagged the Bellator Featherweight championship, self-proclaimed (aren’t they always?) “Baddest Man on the Planet” Joe Warren decided to make a run at the Bantamweight crown. Why he was set on trying to capture two titles before defending one is beyond me, but Warren figured he’d test the waters against journeyman Marcos Galvao in a 137-pound catchweight fight back at Bellator 41. Galvao, who was riding a three-fight win streak over mediocre competition, seemed like a perfect matchup for both Warren and Bellator to display the champ’s dominance. This idea has backfired on Bellator before, and it should have backfired on them on that cool April night.
The first round was close, but clearly Galvao’s, as Warren’s main offensive output consisted of attempting wild takedowns that succeeded in getting him mounted on more than one occasion. Perhaps that was the goal, but I can guaran-damn-tee his goal in the second round wasn’t to eat as many flying knees as humanly possibly, and yet that’s how it went down. The third was clearly Warren’s, but was nowhere near the 10-8 round he would have needed to walk away with a lucky draw. Despite all this, Warren would claim victory, and Galvao’s children would go hungry for another night, because the world can be a cold, unforgiving place. Though Warren would meet his maker in Alexis Vila shortly thereafter, Galvao would wind up on the wrong end of another bullshit decision against, you guessed it, Alexis Vila. Yin and Yang, folks.
Go ahead, TRY and throw some Fightmetric stats at me for the Warren/Galvao fight; it will be as pointless an argument as the one that tree-hugging tyrant Raiyne Thomas-Kirkpatrick-Gilligan and I had before I was kicked out of Serenity Gardens. Neither of us are going to change our ways, so we’d best just move along.
Did we leave out any good MMA robberies? Let us know *your* #1 pick in the comments section.
A while back, we told you that the Culinary Workers Union was at it again, this time pushing the Nevada State Athletic Commission to pass ‘A Bill of Rights for Professional Mixed Martial Artists.’ After reading the document a time or two, it’s easy to conclude that the “MMA Bill of Rights” is eerily similar to SOPA in that they both look bad on paper and sound even worse when said aloud. Don’t get me wrong, I want the fighters to live long and prosper, but some of the points brought up are laughable. I feel it necessary to shed some light on this proposal while keeping in mind that it could have a major impact for promoters, fighters, and fans alike. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Amendment I: Equal protections for all fighters. – You shall have the same legal protections currently afforded to professional boxers under state and federal law. This includes extending the Muhammad Ali Boxing Reform Act of 2000 and its protections against exploitative treatment of boxers to professional mixed-martial arts fighters.
Problem: None, really. Having the promoter disclose how much money was made and who got paid what would be a great thing for fighters come contract renewal time. Additionally, not allowing fighters to be required to sign over future promotional rights just to fight seems reasonable. No real complaints here, it’s an excellent idea.
Amendment II: Right to work. – You shall have the right to sign non-exclusive contracts to participate in any professional mixed martial arts events of your choosing, where such opportunities are available. This right includes the right to refuse to sign exclusive or “automatically renewing” contracts with a promoter that does not guarantee sufficient opportunity for you to fight in professional events and earn a living.
A while back, we told you that the Culinary Workers Union was at it again, this time pushing the Nevada State Athletic Commission to pass ‘A Bill of Rights for Professional Mixed Martial Artists.’ After reading the document a time or two, it’s easy to conclude that the “MMA Bill of Rights” is eerily similar to SOPA in that they both look bad on paper and sound even worse when said aloud. Don’t get me wrong, I want the fighters to live long and prosper, but some of the points brought up are laughable. I feel it necessary to shed some light on this proposal while keeping in mind that it could have a major impact for promoters, fighters, and fans alike. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Amendment I: Equal protections for all fighters. – You shall have the same legal protections currently afforded to professional boxers under state and federal law. This includes extending the Muhammad Ali Boxing Reform Act of 2000 and its protections against exploitative treatment of boxers to professional mixed-martial arts fighters.
Problem: None, really. Having the promoter disclose how much money was made and who got paid what would be a great thing for fighters come contract renewal time. Additionally, not allowing fighters to be required to sign over future promotional rights just to fight seems reasonable. No real complaints here, it’s an excellent idea.
Amendment II: Right to work. – You shall have the right to sign non-exclusive contracts to participate in any professional mixed martial arts events of your choosing, where such opportunities are available. This right includes the right to refuse to sign exclusive or “automatically renewing” contracts with a promoter that does not guarantee sufficient opportunity for you to fight in professional events and earn a living.
Problem: This sounds brutal, I know, but fighters already have the right not to sign a contract they don’t like. If you don’t like the way it’s worded and cannot compromise, hit the road, jack. It’s clear that the Culinary Union has the UFC’s non-competitive and champion’s clauses in mind here. We could pretty much scratch the second amendment out, kind of like what Obama is doing right now, and the world would continue spinning.
If you’re the promoter, there is no way you want your champion taking a fight in Donofrio MMA and losing to a scrub or getting injured en route to a victory. You have to protect your assets. You also don’t want a guy winning the belt in his last fight, especially if it’s a controversial decision, and then jumping ship because his contract is up and the other promoter will let him do a reality tv show while under contract.
Solution: Promotions offer minimum fight contracts with a severance package being paid to the fighter if the contract is not fulfilled within a certain amount of time. This makes it easier for the promotion to cut dead weight if a guy keeps getting injured while showing that they (kinda) care for the fighter as a person. This also helps the fighter in the event that the promotion is unable (or unwilling) to give the guy fights. All contracts for guys who are “in the mix” will still be automatically renewing, however, the payment terms would still be negotiated upon for the new contract.
Amendment III:Inalienable right to your own name, likeness and image. – You shall have the right to refuse to give any promoter and/or manager the right to your own name, likeness and image beyond the duration of the contract you have with the promoter and/or manager. This right includes the right to participate in professional mixed martial arts events, where such opportunities are available, without being required to sign additional contracts to give the promoter, manager and/or anybody else the right to your own name, likeness and image.
Problem: This fails to help anyone already under contract with Zuffa, and a few that aren’t. Furthermore, if you don’t want to sign over your likeness then don’t sign the papers and go fight somewhere else. Now, had this been worded in a way prohibiting promotions to acquire likeness beyond the duration of the contract, we’d have a completely new argument on our hands — but it’s not.
Solution: It’s not Superstars we’re discussing, fictional characters that have steroids for breakfast and “wrassle” 350 days a year, it’s real men and women whose name, story, and likeness are not fabricated by some creative department. MMA promotions should renegotiate to have the rights to use a fighter’s name, image, and likeness after their contract has ended in exchange for a percentage of the profits from its use, be it a video game, trading cards, or a ‘Best of’ DVD.
Amendment IV: Free market of sponsorships. – You shall have the right to choose your own sponsors outside of any professional mixed martial events in which you participate under a promotional contract. Outside of such events, no promoter shall restrict or prohibit you from signing sponsorship contracts with firms that choose to support you; nor shall any promoter or other entity require you to sponsor a particular product, business, or individual as a condition for participating in a professional mixed martial arts event.
Problem: Since the UFC landed that mega deal with FOX, we’ve seen a few sponsors tossed into body bags, most notably the gun and ammo sponsors. All promotions should have the right to deny a fighter’s request to be sponsored by a company even if they agree to pay the sponsor tax. Don’t agree? Would you want to see a fighters shorts plastered with KKK logos or a slogan so appalling that only Westboro Baptist Church could have written it? Didn’t think so. It’s not just the UFC that doesn’t want that, it’s the NFL too — just take a look at their partnership and endorsement policy. I bet you didn’t know that NFL players are prohibited from doing anything with a long list of BANNED companies, including two of MMA’s favorites, Nutrabolics and BSN.
Solution: Fighters can still make appearances and be a spokesperson for a company in exchange for a paycheck, however, the promotion in which they fight will still have the right from prohibiting any sponsor from being on all clothing and banners for all fights, media workouts, or anything else fight related (i.e. Countdown shows, Talk show appearances, and press conferences).
Amendment V:Transparency of contracts and payments. – You have the right to receive a detailed and written financial accounting, certified by your local athletic commission, of any and all revenues associated with a professional mixed martial arts event in which you participated. The report shall be provided to you by the event promoter in a timely manner and shall include a description of all payments, gifts or benefits the promoter received from the event, including, but not limited to, gate ticket sales, pay-per-view sales, other TV revenues, and other sponsorship payments.
Problem: All promotions will be required to hire someone to carry out these duties, which by the way, are to be done in a “timely manner,” whatever that means. It’s going to take time for the numbers to come in from cable and satellite providers.
Solution: Have the promoters issue all contracted fighters a quarterly summary of the above information, broken down by fight card. This allows the promotion time to get accurate numbers, receive certification from the athletic commission (when applicable) and still let the fighters know how much the company is making.
Take a two-minute water-break, and continue to the next page to read our dissection of amendments 6-10…
Heading into arguably the most anticipated women’s MMA match of all time (that’s right, I said women’s), former Olympic bronze medalist Ronda Rousey had a mountain of claims to back up, a mountain only made higher by the fact that her meteoric run to a bantamweight title shot had left the general public with more questions than answers in regards to her skill set. In her four fight career, the woman had never seen what the second round, let alone the second minute, of a MMA contest looked like. So we were left to ponder: how would her striking, stamina, and suffocating Jiu-Jitsu attack hold up against the more experienced champ in Meisha Tate?
Well, as it turns out, we still don’t know much about the newly crowned women’s 135 lb. champion, and that may just be the scariest thing about her. Tate tried to answer a couple of these questions early, coming out throwing wild haymakers with ill intentions. Rousey was able to ride out the storm and secure a takedown, drawing an ominous “Oh shit!” reaction from the viewing audience, at least where I was. That statement was echoed tenfold when Rousey managed to secure her first armbar, which I’m still pretty positive did most of the damage to Tate’s arm. However, where referee Herb Dean would have let out his own, “Oh shit!” before stopping the fight right there, referee Mark Matheny was determined not to find himself in the middle of a Steve Mazagatti/Sarah D’Alelio controversy, adhering to a strict “snap then tap” policy for Ms. Tate. That policy would come into effect just a couple minutes later, when Rousey managed to secure the fight ending armbar that can only be described as “Palharesian.”
(Get it?)
Heading into arguably the most anticipated women’s MMA match of all time (that’s right, I said women’s), former Olympic bronze medalist Ronda Rousey had a mountain of claims to back up, a mountain only made higher by the fact that her meteoric run to a bantamweight title shot had left the general public with more questions than answers in regards to her skill set. In her four fight career, the woman had never seen what the second round, let alone the second minute, of a MMA contest looked like. So we were left to ponder: how would her striking, stamina, and suffocating Jiu-Jitsu attack hold up against the more experienced champ in Meisha Tate?
Well, as it turns out, we still don’t know much about the newly crowned women’s 135 lb. champion, and that may just be the scariest thing about her. Tate tried to answer a couple of these questions early, coming out throwing wild haymakers with ill intentions. Rousey was able to ride out the storm and secure a takedown, drawing an ominous “Oh shit!” reaction from the viewing audience, at least where I was. That statement was echoed tenfold when Rousey managed to secure her first armbar, which I’m still pretty positive did most of the damage to Tate’s arm. However, where referee Herb Dean would have let out his own, “Oh shit!” before stopping the fight right there, referee Mark Matheny was determined not to find himself in the middle of a Steve Mazagatti/Sarah D’Alelio controversy, adhering to a strict “snap then tap” policy for Ms. Tate. That policy would come into effect just a couple minutes later, when Rousey managed to secure the fight ending armbar that can only be described as “Palharesian.”
And so, Ronda Rousey became the women’s 135 pound champion by securing her fifth consecutive first round armbar. We still don’t really know where her striking is at, and we still don’t know how well she will hold up if she makes it to the second round. But that is a huge “if,” ladies and gentlemen. A tip of the hat is due to Tate, for managing to delay the inevitable longer than Rousey’s four previous opponents combined. Hopefully that sentiment will help Tate sleep at night while recovering from such a gruesome injury, for her sacrifice served as a permanent reminder to all future challengers in the bantamweight division: just fucking tap.
Speaking of future title challengers, the Strikeforce commentating team seemed content to declare that Josh Thomspon was destined to complete his trilogy with lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez following his unanimous decision over K.J. Noons. As much as I’d like like to agree with that notion, being that Thompson and Melendez have had some classic battles in the past, there was absolutely nothing about Thompson’s performance that warranted a title shot. Nothing. Then again, it’s only a matter of time until the UFC calls Melendez over, so why not have these two square off once again, for old time’s sake? It’s not like a Strikeforce belt really matters to anyone but the women’s division at this point anyway.
Now, I’m going to leave the rest of the of the night’s action for Seth to recap, but I feel I must comment on what was likely Scott Smith‘s last performance under the Strikeforce banner. As a huge fan of “Hands of Steel,” my disappointment in his return to middleweight was greater than most, as his performance against Lumumba Sayers showed absolutely zero of the fire that had made him such a commodity in the promotion. His “guillotine” attempt looked amateur at best, and his guillotine “defense” was simply atrocious for someone who has been in the game as long as he has. Simply put, Smith needs a new mindset, and a new training camp, if he ever wants to become anything but a one dimensional brawler with a big heart. Following his third round submission loss to Nick Diaz back in June of 2009, Diaz offered to train with Smith should he ever decide to leave his gym in Elk Grove, California. It’s safe to say that the time is now, Scott, and I say this as a fan. Because you’re a “go for broke” kind of fighter, and your recent performances have left you all but penniless.
Last night’s Strikeforce card was a memorable one — even though there were a couple aspects of the show that we’d love to forget. Now that the dust has settled, let’s take a look back at Tate vs. Rousey’s thrilling highlights and awful lowlights…
The Good
– First and foremost, this gif from the weigh ins. Oh, Ronda. [*flexes butt seductively*]
– Ronda Rousey‘s title-winning performance against Miesha Tate. We finally learned what Rousey’s “Plan B” is when she’s unable to armbar you within the first minute — unsurprisingly, it’s another armbar. Rousey kept her head when Miesha stormed out at her in the beginning of the fight, calmly extracted herself from bad positions on the ground, and didn’t get discouraged when her first nasty armbar attempt failed to break Miesha’s elbow. Instead, she relied on the judo expertise that has carried her to a title shot in less than a year of professional MMA competition, and got the inevitable snap/tap at 4:27 of round 1. During her post-fight interview, Rousey proved that her heat-seeking personality doesn’t turn off just because the match is over. (Yes, she holds grudges, and yes, she still thinks Tate sucks.) A meeting with former champ Sarah Kaufman is next, but I can’t be the only one looking ahead to a possible 135-pound superfight against Cris Cyborg.
– Ronaldo Souza‘s striking. In the past, Jacare’s occasional tendency to keep fights standing has struck me as a frustrating betrayal of his bread-and-butter. (See also: Demian Maia.) But against Bristol Marunde, Souza’s striking looked just as dangerous as his grappling; his ferocious overhand rights and unconventional kicks brought to mind other Brazilian bangers like Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante and Edson Barboza. Jacare is still evolving as a fighter, and Luke Rockhold should watch his back.
Last night’s Strikeforce card was a memorable one — even though there were a couple aspects of the show that we’d love to forget. Now that the dust has settled, let’s take a look back at Tate vs. Rousey’s thrilling highlights and awful lowlights…
The Good
– First and foremost, this gif from the weigh ins. Oh, Ronda. [*flexes butt seductively*]
– Ronda Rousey‘s title-winning performance against Miesha Tate. We finally learned what Rousey’s “Plan B” is when she’s unable to armbar you within the first minute — unsurprisingly, it’s another armbar. Rousey kept her head when Miesha stormed out at her in the beginning of the fight, calmly extracted herself from bad positions on the ground, and didn’t get discouraged when her first nasty armbar attempt failed to break Miesha’s elbow. Instead, she relied on the judo expertise that has carried her to a title shot in less than a year of professional MMA competition, and got the inevitable snap/tap at 4:27 of round 1. During her post-fight interview, Rousey proved that her heat-seeking personality doesn’t turn off just because the match is over. (Yes, she holds grudges, and yes, she still thinks Tate sucks.) A meeting with former champ Sarah Kaufman is next, but I can’t be the only one looking ahead to a possible 135-pound superfight against Cris Cyborg.
– Ronaldo Souza‘s striking. In the past, Jacare’s occasional tendency to keep fights standing has struck me as a frustrating betrayal of his bread-and-butter. (See also: Demian Maia.) But against Bristol Marunde, Souza’s striking looked just as dangerous as his grappling; his ferocious overhand rights and unconventional kicks brought to mind other Brazilian bangers like Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante and Edson Barboza. Jacare is still evolving as a fighter, and Luke Rockhold should watch his back.
– The Sarah Kaufman vs. Alexis Davis fight on the prelims. If you were able to catch it on Showtime Extreme, consider yourself lucky. Kaufman/Davis was the kind of three-round brawl that you don’t often see in women’s MMA, and it went a long way in securing Kaufman as the rightful next-in-line for a bantamweight title shot. Kaufman will surely be a big underdog against Rousey, but her sprawl-and-brawl style is the perfect skillset for a fight against the champ.
The Bad – Scott Smith‘s physique. Judging by his soft midsection, Smith didn’t take preparations for his return to middleweight seriously enough, and it showed in his performance, where he was manhandled and out-grappled by relative newcomer Lumumba Sayers. The fight was over before Smith had a chance to make one of his miraculous comebacks. With four losses in a row, Smith’s time on the big stage might be over.
– The referee in Tate vs. Rousey not stopping the fight until about eight seconds after Tate’s arm had grown a new elbow. Tate showed her warrior heart by not tapping until the pain was overwhelming; the ref showed his ignorance by not stopping the fight until that moment.
– Josh Thomson‘s safety-first performance against KJ Noons, and his graceless analysis of it: “It was shit…My conditioning was shit, so my fight was shit.” Cool story, bro. Thomson made a big show of his anti-Obama t-shirt after the fight, but at least you have to give him credit for not being a creep about his political opinions, unlike some people we know.
The Ugly
– Kazuo Misaki’s face after his decision win over Paul Daley. After suffering a Marvin Eastman-caliber head gash in the third round, he also ended up with a Ryan McGillivray-style broken nose.
– The Nazi pedophile on the undercard. In an attempt to add more local flavor to the prelims, Strikeforce booked Ohio native Brandon Saling to fight Roger Bowling. Not-so-fun fact: Saling previously did time in prison on a “gross sexual imposition” charge for raping a 12-year-old girl. And he didn’t generate any sympathy last night when he stepped into the cage rocking white supremacist tattoos, including an ’88′ on his shoulder which is Neo Nazi code for “Heil Hitler.” To make a long story short, he’s a shit-stain on the underwear of humanity, and Strikeforce screwed up royally by not doing a basic background check before booking him on their televised prelim broadcast. This is not who we need representing us, guys.
Tonight’s UFC on FUEL event marks a lot of firsts for the fighters involved. Guys like Joseph Benavidez, Cole Miller, and Demetrious Johnson will be testing the waters in new weight divisions, even if some were forced to violate a certain CagePotato ban whilst doing so. This evening will also mark the debut of not only the 125 pound flyweight division, but that of two possible future title contenders in said division, Ian “Uncle Creepy” McCall and Yasuhiro Urushitani. It’s amazing, no, inspiring to know that the rosy-cheeked, industrious members of the Lollipop Guild have finally reached Emerald City; they’re almost like people now. I salute their Herculean accomplishment, and encourage everyone reading this to follow your own yellow brick road, so to speak, in their honor.
Anyway, join me, Jared Jones, as I liveblog tonight’s event, starting at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. Refresh your page every so often, and if I’m not piss drunk by the time this thing starts, we might just make it all the way to the end.
Tonight’s UFC on FUEL event marks a lot of firsts for the fighters involved. Guys like Joseph Benavidez, Cole Miller, and Demetrious Johnson will be testing the waters in new weight divisions, even if some were forced to violate a certain CagePotato ban whilst doing so. This evening will also mark the debut of not only the 125 pound flyweight division, but that of two possible future title contenders in said division, Ian “Uncle Creepy” McCall and Yasuhiro Urushitani. It’s amazing, no, inspiring to know that the rosy-cheeked, industrious members of the Lollipop Guild have finally reached Emerald City; they’re almost like people now. I salute their Herculean accomplishment, and encourage everyone reading this to follow your own yellow brick road, so to speak, in their honor.
Anyway, join me, Jared Jones, as I liveblog tonight’s event, starting at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. Refresh your page every so often, and if I’m not piss drunk by the time this thing starts, we might just make it all the way to the end.
Preliminary Results
-Shawn Jordan def. Oli Thompson via TKO (strikes) – Round 2, 1:07
-T.J. Waldburger def. Jake Hecht via submission (armbar) – 0:55 of round 1
-Daniel Pineda def. Mackens Semerzier via submission (triangle armbar) – 2:05 of round 1
-Andrew Craig def. Kyle Noke via unanimous decision
– Steven Siler def. Cole Miller via unanimous decision
-Anthony Perosh def. Nick Penner via TKO (punches) – 4:59 of round 1
-James Te Huna def. Aaron Rosa via TKO (punches) – 2:08 of round 1
It’s Friday night, so let’s play a drinking game, Potato Nation. The rules are simple:
-If Mike Goldberg or Joe Rogan Kenny Florian or Jon Anik talk about Court McGee‘s battle with drugs and/or near death experience, drink. Matter of fact, same rules apply if they mention Ian McCall’s battle with drugs/near death experience. I wonder if they sponsor each other?
-Speaking of McCall, if he does anything remotely reminiscent of his nickname, drink for that too.
-And speaking of McGee, if he gets finished by way of (T)KO, finish your drink.
-Each time Demetrious Johnson completes a takedown, or is described as “explosive,” drink.
-If Joseph Benavidez’s win over Miguel Torres is mentioned, finish your drink.
-Each time one of Thiago Alves‘ leg kicks make you cry on the inside, drink twice to hide the fact that you are a little sissy bitch.
-If Kampmann loses by decision, order a round for the bar.
That should do it. Now, let’s get to the fights…
Court McGee vs. Constantinos Philippou
A couple notes from the prelims: Steve Siler is now 2-0 against the other Miller brothers, and fighters claiming to be 0-0 are now 0-2. That said, the fight was a war, and you should definitely check it out. Also, James Te Huna may throw the angriest punches in the entire sport. If his fight with Aaron Rosa had been stopped any later, we might have witnessed the first casualty in UFC History.
Round 1: One of the bad guys from the original Hills Have Eyes is our referee. McGee controlling the center to start. Court lands a right hook. Consta with a combo. Then a left. Then an uppercut and a left hook. McGee tries a head kick on the break. Consta with a straight right and an overhand right. McGee misses a kick and Consta goes to the body. Another right from Philippou. McGee still coming forward, but isn’t throwing much. McGee lands a left hook in a brief exchange, then tries a double leg which gets stuffed. McGee with a left that appeared to stun Consta as the round ends.
Round 2: McGee gets tagged with a left hook, then whiffs a combo. Consta is definitely landing the better punches, but they aren’t fazing Court all that much. McGee with a kick to the body, then tries another takedown which is stuffed. Consta with another nice 1-4 combo. McGee with a switch kick to the body. Consta lands a big uppercut and a knee and McGee presses him against the fence. A couple left hooks by Consta find their mark. Another uppercut lands on McGee. Then another. McGee tries a spinning elbow, then a takedown; neither are successful. Round ends on a nice exchange. I got Philippou up by 2 after 2.
Round 3: Consta with a left hook to the body. McGee needs to get aggressive fast. He lands an uppercut and a right hook, clearly heeding my words. A kick to the Consta’s groin stalls the action briefly. McGee with a kick to the body, then tries for a single. He gets Consta down for a moment, but can’t keep him there. Now Consta tries a takedown, but fails. Court lands a leg kick but gets tagged by a left. Court tries a wheel kick that misses, then another spinning elbow. Body kick McGee. Court needs a finish, but eats a nice leg kick. Court tries for another takedown, but Consta ain’t having it. Head kick blocked by Consta. Same for the takedown. McGee just misses a spinning backfist and this one will reach the judges scorecards.
Constantinos Philippou def. Court McGee via unanimous decision.
Ian McCall vs. Demetrious Johnson
And we are all set for the first flyweight fight in the history of the UFC.
Round 1: Leon Roberts is our referee. Inside leg kick Johnson. Then he goes outside. McCall gets a takedown on the trip, and quickly moves to half guard. Now in side guard, but Johnson reverses, and lands a left hook on the break. Now Johnson with a right, and McCall answers. Johnson with a double jab. McCall lands another trip takedown. Johnson gets up quickly, and lands a right hook. Johnson tries a spinning back kick. Stiff jab by Johnson who attempts a takedown and catches McCall with a right hook on the break that rocks McCall for a moment. McCall stuffs a takedown, then lands a nice inside leg kick. Johnson throws a high kick which is blocked. Close round, but McCall probably took it for the pair of takedowns.
Round 2: Johnson grabs a single. Both men swinging away now along the fence. Johnson lands a left hook charging in. A couple of rights land for Johnson. A McCall kick goes South and we take a break. Johnson lands a kick to the body. Nice exchange, but Johnson seems to be the wicker man. Kind of surprising considering it’s his first fight at 125. McCall lands with a kick to the body. They clinch and McCall lands some knees. Johnson tries a head kick which is blocked. McCall clinches and lands a couple more knees. Body kick Johnson. Nice jab by Johnson, who clinches to bring the round to an end.
Round 3: Leg kick McCall. Johnson whiffs a front kick and a 1-2 combo. McCall appears to get hit in the groin, but the fight continues. Johnson tries a takedown, but eats a knee to the body. Nice inside leg kick by Johnson. Mighty Mouse tries a flying knee but winds up on his back. McCall in half guard, then tries for mount, but Johnson rolls out. McCall with a nice slam, and now he’s got Johnson’s back! McCall has him flattened out and is landing some nice punches. McCall tries to crossface Johnson, who springs up and out of trouble. McCall tries a front choke, but gets Johnson on his back and moves into mount again. McCall trying to finish Sakuraba style with some double hammerfists, and finishes the round putting a beating on Johnson. Good fight. I think it goes to Johnson McCall, but it’s close.
Demetrious Johnson wins by split decision, the crowd is not happy. McCall storms off.
Miguel Torres just tweeted, and I quote, “Holy fuck, Demetrious Johnson must have Santa Clause in his corner, he keeps on getting gifts.” ZING! The FX sound crew just had to mute the audience to quell the cries of “Bullshit.” So much for the sudden death round…
Joseph Benavidez vs. Yasuhiro Urushitani
Can I ask what the deal is with these GoDaddy.com commercials? Is it a porn site? A domain name website? Both? Maybe if Danica Patrick spent a little less time not sucking at Nascar she could explain these things to me.
Round 1: “Uru” misses a leg kick to star, and Benavidez lands one to the outside. A pair of rights lands for Joe. Body kick Benavidez. Nice right hook by Uru. Benavidez clinches and throws a few knees to Uru’s legs. Another body kick from team Alpha Male, and he clinches again and works a single leg. Uru tries to fend it off but gets taken down. Benavidez moves to half guard, then mount. He’s got Uru’s back now, working a rear-naked choke with 10 seconds to go. The bell saves Uru.
Round 2: OOOOOOHHHH!! A BIG counter right drops Uru, and Benavidez swarms for the finish. We needed that. It’s gonna be Johnson vs. Benavidez for the UFC’s first ever flyweight crown…er…belt.
Joseph Benavidez def. Yasuhiro Urushitani via TKO (punches) 0:11 of round 2
They’re interviewing Dominick Cruz and Urijah Faber now. My God, Faber’s cleft seems to be expanding like some kind of black hole. You could EASILY hold a roll of quarters in that sum bitch is all I’m saying. If he isn’t careful, his chin is going to eat his entire face.
Time for our main event.
Martin Kampmann vs. Thiago Alves
Kampmann has said he plans to stand and trade with Alves, which makes sense, given Kampmann’s penchant for playing to his opponents strengths. Either he’s just bullshitting, or he simply didn’t learn anything from trying to submit Jake Shields or KO Paul Daley. He did beat Diego Sanchez though. I don’t care what anyone says.
And the award for most badass security guards goes to Thiago Alves. I DARE someone to try and steal a hat in Australia.
Jesus Christ, Thiago Alves looks fucking huge.
Round 1: Leg kick Alves, drink. Drink again. Uppercut Hitman, who shoots for a single. He gets Alves down, but not for long. A teep kick rocks Alves! Kampmann takes him down, then hits him with a knee on the way up. Alves is cut over his left eye, but stuffs a single and takes Martin down. Interesting. Kampmann working a guillotine. Alves passes to side control, but Martin gets it back to half guard. Alves mounts! He isn’t able to do much with it, however, and Kampmann escapes just before the bell.
Round 2: Right hook Alves. Kampmann misses a knee and Alves lands a 1-2. Alves is getting the better of the stand up, so Kampmann goes for a takedown, but gets stuffed. Kampmann’s cut in a couple places. Hitman tries another teep that misses this time. Nice right hand by Alves. Short left hook by Kampmann lands, but Alves lands a bigger one. Kampmann ends a two punch combo with a knee, then shoots for a takedown as the bell rings.
Round 3: Drink worthy leg kick by Alves. Alves pushes forward and tries for a takedown, but Kampmann reverses him. Kampmann lands a nice three punch combo and goes for his own takedown. Kampmann lands a kick to the body but eats a left. Alves whiffs a kick, then lands a nice inside one. Martin tries a head kick that’s blocked. Nice right hand by Alves hurts Kampmann. Alves tries for a double leg, but winds up with Kampmann on top of him in a mounted guillotine! Alves taps! Wow, brilliant turn of events by Kampmann, who probably would’ve lost the decision. That was eerily reminiscent of Lytle/Hardy. What a huge mistake by Alves.
Martin Kampmann def. Thiago Alves via submission (guillotine) 4:30ish of round 3
Kampmann calls out Carlos Condit in his post fight interview. Jon Anik says his second win in a row could have just as easily been his sixth. Ballsy statement, but he makes a point.
Well, that’s all for me, folks. Thanks for joining me, and I’ll catch y’all on Monday.
