Four Reasons to Be Completely Psyched About UFC on FUEL 7: Barao vs. McDonald


(Fan-made poster via NixsonMmaPosters. Let’s just pretend that Siver isn’t there.)

We wouldn’t expect a FUEL card in London to be “stacked” in the traditional sense. But although this coming Saturday’s UFC on FUEL 7: Barao vs. McDonald event is low on star-power, it’s actually loaded with great matchups. Here’s why these fights are worth paying attention to…

1. The main card is a hot mess of blue-chip prospects.
Even more so than UFC on FUEL 7’s headliners, I’m excited to see the return of three guys who looked like juggernauts in their UFC debuts. First, we’ve got our old pal Ryan Jimmo, who entered the Octagon on a 16-fight win streak at UFC 149 and proceeded to sleep Anthony Perosh in just seven seconds, then gave fans their money’s worth by busting out a celebratory robot. Can he possibly repeat that performance this weekend against James Te-Huna?

Also in the light-heavyweight division, 12-0 Nigerian-English mauler Jimi Manuwa — who has never been to the third round in his entire career, by the way — will face Cyrille Diabaté, five months after Manuwa whipped Kyle Kingsbury to a doctor’s stoppage TKO after ten minutes of action. And finally, Icelandic grappling master Gunnar Nelson will follow up his swift choke-out of Damarques Johnson with a fight against Jorge Santiago, in a welterweight bout that will probably go very badly for Santiago.

The prelims also feature a few more guys who almost fit in the same “hot-prospect” category, including Stanislav Nedkov — who’s still technically undefeated after his loss to Thiago Silva was overturned in November — and Paul Sass, the submission wiz who took the first loss of his career against Matt Wiman in September.

2. Michael McDonald could become the youngest UFC champion ever* — and by a fairly wide margin.


(Fan-made poster via NixsonMmaPosters. Let’s just pretend that Siver isn’t there.)

We wouldn’t expect a FUEL card in London to be “stacked” in the traditional sense. But although this coming Saturday’s UFC on FUEL 7: Barao vs. McDonald event is low on star-power, it’s actually loaded with great matchups. Here’s why these fights are worth paying attention to…

1. The main card is a hot mess of blue-chip prospects.
Even more so than UFC on FUEL 7′s headliners, I’m excited to see the return of three guys who looked like juggernauts in their UFC debuts. First, we’ve got our old pal Ryan Jimmo, who entered the Octagon on a 16-fight win streak at UFC 149 and proceeded to sleep Anthony Perosh in just seven seconds, then gave fans their money’s worth by busting out a celebratory robot. Can he possibly repeat that performance this weekend against James Te-Huna?

Also in the light-heavyweight division, 12-0 Nigerian-English mauler Jimi Manuwa — who has never been to the third round in his entire career, by the way — will face Cyrille Diabaté, five months after Manuwa whipped Kyle Kingsbury to a doctor’s stoppage TKO after ten minutes of action. And finally, Icelandic grappling master Gunnar Nelson will follow up his swift choke-out of Damarques Johnson with a fight against Jorge Santiago, in a welterweight bout that will probably go very badly for Santiago.

The prelims also feature a few more guys who almost fit in the same “hot-prospect” category, including Stanislav Nedkov — who’s still technically undefeated after his loss to Thiago Silva was overturned in November — and Paul Sass, the submission wiz who took the first loss of his career against Matt Wiman in September.

2. Michael McDonald could become the youngest UFC champion ever* — and by a fairly wide margin.
When Jon Jones TKO’d Mauricio Rua to win the UFC light-heavyweight title at UFC 128, he was 23 years and nine months old. If Michael McDonald defeats Renan Barao for the interim bantamweight title in the UFC on FUEL 7 headliner, he’ll become a UFC champion at just 22 years and one month old. And make no mistake — “Mayday” McDonald has legitimately paid his dues for the opportunity. McDonald began competing professionally at the age of 16, and his current eight-fight win streak dates back to October 2009, when he was smashing everyone in his path as an 18-year-old in Tachi Palace Fights. Now 4-0 in the UFC and coming off first-round knockouts of Alex Soto and Miguel Torres, McDonald is a truly prodigious talent, and could give Barao the toughest test of his own phenomenal career.

3. Will Josh Grispi suffer the most dramatic career-implosion in UFC history?
Okay, this is more of a “reason to be morbidly curious” than a “reason to be completely psyched,” but it’s still worth mentioning. In 2010, Josh Grispi was one of the hottest featherweights on Earth, following an explosive 4-0 run in the WEC where he scored first-round stoppages of Mark Hominick, Micah Miller, Jens Pulver, and LC Davis. Grispi was booked to face Jose Aldo in the UFC’s first-ever featherweight title fight at UFC 125, but Aldo was forced to withdraw due to injury. Instead, Grispi faced newcomer Dustin Poirier in a non-title bout on the card, losing a unanimous decision and his title shot.

Later that year, Grispi took a rebound fight against George Roop, and wound up getting TKO’d in the third round. Finally, a bout against Brazilian journeyman Rani Yahya ended in another loss last August, this time by first-round submission. Now, “The Fluke” is facing TUF Live castmember Andy Ogle, who is officially 0-1 in the UFC. If Grispi manages to lose this one, he’ll almost certainly find himself released from the organization — the final chapter in a stunning reversal-of-fortune for his fight career.

4. Cub Swanson vs. Dustin Poirier is a great f*cking fight.
Like Cowboy vs. Pettis at UFC on FOX 6, this is the one matchup on the card that is virtually guaranteed to produce something spectacular. Swanson is on the hottest run of his career with consecutive knockouts of George Roop, Ross Pearson, and Charles Oliveira — and is usually the first guy that Greg Jackson-defenders point to as evidence that Yoda is not ruining the sport. Meanwhile, Poirier’s last four fights ended in three submission victories and an incredible Fight of Night performance against Chan Sung Jung. Swanson vs. Poirier could end in a swift and savage knockout, or it could turn out to be an unforgettable three-round war, but there’s no way it’ll be boring.

* Yes, I know Vitor Belfort was 19 years old when he won the UFC 12 tournament, so you don’t have to mention it in the comments section.

(BG)

Dennis Siver Out, Dustin Poirier in vs. Cub Swanson at ‘UFC on FUEL 7?


(The best part about having palm trees tattooed across your waistline, you ask? Endless cocoNUT jokes.)

A bit of mixed news for fans of the featherweight division, as word just broke that Dennis Siver has been forced to withdraw from his UFC on FUEL 7 bout with Cub Swanson for undisclosed reasons. The good news: stepping in for Siver will be Dustin Poirier, an exciting slugger who has picked up end of the night bonuses in two out of his last three contests. Although Poirier doesn’t exactly match the ridiculous offensive output of Siver, you can bet the ranch that this fight will net another bonus for at least one of these gentlemen when all is said and done.

A fellow top contender, Poirier recently bounced back into the win column by beating TUF 12 winner Jonathan Brookins into damn near retirement. Swanson, on the other hand, has been on an absolute killing spree in his last three bouts, finishing George Roop, Ross Pearson, and Charles Oliveira with punches inside the first two rounds. In fact, before Siver dropped out, Swanson stated on his Twitter account that the fight was being lobbied as the potential number 1 contender matchup at 145. Meanwhile, Chan-Sung Jung has apparently fallen off the face of the earth.

After the jump: Full fight videos of Poirier vs. Brookins and Swanson vs. Oliveira, which we secured through completely legal means. We swear. Just don’t tell anyone you got them from us, OK?


(The best part about having palm trees tattooed across your waistline, you ask? Endless cocoNUT jokes.)

A bit of mixed news for fans of the featherweight division, as word just broke that Dennis Siver has been forced to withdraw from his UFC on FUEL 7 bout with Cub Swanson for undisclosed reasons. The good news: stepping in for Siver will be Dustin Poirier, an exciting slugger who has picked up end of the night bonuses in two out of his last three contests. Although Poirier doesn’t exactly match the ridiculous offensive output of Siver, you can bet the ranch that this fight will net another bonus for at least one of these gentlemen when all is said and done.

A fellow top contender, Poirier recently bounced back into the win column by beating TUF 12 winner Jonathan Brookins into damn near retirement. Swanson, on the other hand, has been on an absolute killing spree in his last three bouts, finishing George Roop, Ross Pearson, and Charles Oliveira with punches inside the first two rounds. In fact, before Siver dropped out, Swanson stated on his Twitter account that the fight was being lobbied as the potential number 1 contender matchup at 145. Meanwhile, Chan-Sung Jung has apparently fallen off the face of the earth.

After the jump: Full fight videos of Poirier vs. Brookins and Swanson vs. Oliveira, which we secured through completely legal means. We swear. Just don’t tell anyone you got them from us, OK?

Poirier vs. Brookins (fight starts at the 10:30 mark)

Swanson vs. Oliveira

J. Jones

Jonathan Brookins Just Doesn’t Want It Anymore; Former ‘TUF’ Winner Ponders Retirement After Poirier Fight


(You can’t see his face from this angle, but we’re guessing it looked something like this. / Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Click for full-size version.)

The stunt-journalism powerhouse known as VICE magazine has launched its own MMA site called Fightland, which features the kind of on-the-scene video profiles and thought-provoking prose that we’ve come to expect from that crew. In particular, we recommend their new interview with Jonathan Brookins, who was just submitted by Dustin Poirier at the TUF 16 Finale. Short version: We’re going to have to start preparing a “And Now He’s Retired” post for this guy, because his days in the sport might be numbered. Here’s what the former Ultimate Fighter winner had to say about his fateful meeting with “The Diamond” and the uncomfortable realizations he made that night:

“It’s not hard to make a career in the UFC. If you really want it, you can make it happen. I think I just talked myself of really wanting it. I don’t know if I talked myself out of it or if I really don’t want it anymore. That made it tough to keep going and to fight last weekend. I didn’t really have much fight left in me. I kind of hit a dead end. 

I definitely had my mind on other things I wanted to do and pursue. I just stopped believing in the fight business and stopped believing in what it was I was even doing. I just didn’t quite understand. There wasn’t much that I wanted about that (Poirier) fight…This quest to be a fighter has gotten to be frivolous, to be the wrong pursuit. I know it can be pursued the right way, but I know I’m not anywhere close to it. I’m not really down to live this temporary, right-now way of life…

Before the fight I came in a little bit overweight. Mostly because I was bounding around a lot – living in Oregon then New York then Montreal. But everything was real sporadic. So I was cutting weight, and I went to a bikram yoga class, something I do all the time. This was Wednesday, and the weigh-in was Friday. I started to get real dizzy after running that morning and sitting in a salt bath and then the yoga class. I got dizzy like I was going to pass out. By the end of the class, I was cramping up. My feet were cramping. By the end of the class I think I hit severe dehydration. My legs cramped up really bad. I couldn’t move. I was exhausted, like I was going to die. My neck, back, and chest all cramped up. I felt tired and weak. I started throwing up all night and was real sick.


(You can’t see his face from this angle, but we’re guessing it looked something like this. / Photo courtesy of Getty Images. Click for full-size version.)

The stunt-journalism powerhouse known as VICE magazine has launched its own MMA site called Fightland, which features the kind of on-the-scene video profiles and thought-provoking prose that we’ve come to expect from that crew. In particular, we recommend their new interview with Jonathan Brookins, who was just submitted by Dustin Poirier at the TUF 16 Finale. Short version: We’re going to have to start preparing a “And Now He’s Retired” post for this guy, because his days in the sport might be numbered. Here’s what the former Ultimate Fighter winner had to say about his fateful meeting with “The Diamond” and the uncomfortable realizations he made that night:

“It’s not hard to make a career in the UFC. If you really want it, you can make it happen. I think I just talked myself of really wanting it. I don’t know if I talked myself out of it or if I really don’t want it anymore. That made it tough to keep going and to fight last weekend. I didn’t really have much fight left in me. I kind of hit a dead end. 

I definitely had my mind on other things I wanted to do and pursue. I just stopped believing in the fight business and stopped believing in what it was I was even doing. I just didn’t quite understand. There wasn’t much that I wanted about that (Poirier) fight…This quest to be a fighter has gotten to be frivolous, to be the wrong pursuit. I know it can be pursued the right way, but I know I’m not anywhere close to it. I’m not really down to live this temporary, right-now way of life…

Before the fight I came in a little bit overweight. Mostly because I was bounding around a lot – living in Oregon then New York then Montreal. But everything was real sporadic. So I was cutting weight, and I went to a bikram yoga class, something I do all the time. This was Wednesday, and the weigh-in was Friday. I started to get real dizzy after running that morning and sitting in a salt bath and then the yoga class. I got dizzy like I was going to pass out. By the end of the class, I was cramping up. My feet were cramping. By the end of the class I think I hit severe dehydration. My legs cramped up really bad. I couldn’t move. I was exhausted, like I was going to die. My neck, back, and chest all cramped up. I felt tired and weak. I started throwing up all night and was real sick.

I thought about quitting the fight. I was dehydrated, but I still had six or seven pounds to lose. Everything was all off. So I was asking myself, “What do you really want out of this experience?” And all I could think about was going to India. You already know you fucked your body up; there’s no way you’re going to recover fully in just a couple of days. Why would I go ahead with the fight instead of asking to reschedule? Then I thought about going to India in January. That was loud and clear.

At the weigh-ins, I could see myself on the Jumbotron. I was like, “Shit man, you look kind of pathetic. You don’t look like you’re ready to fight; you look skinny.” The kid (Poirier) walks up to me after the weigh-ins and gets in my face and says, “I want it more than you.” All tough guy: “I want it more than you, bro.” I was like, “What the fuck? How does this kid know he wanted it more than me?” It was an interesting thing to say but it was really true. It was the weirdest true shit-talking I’d ever heard in my life. Usually people just talk shit and you’ve got a rebuttal. That was the first time it really made me think.”

If that all sounds familiar, maybe it’s because our writer Elias Cepeda discussed the exact same thing in his Travel Chronicles series: Once your mind starts seducing you into quitting — with the lures of distant adventures and the release from physical pain — you might as well tap right then, because the fight is already lost.

Elsewhere in the Fightland piece, Brookins talks about losing his house in Orlando because he couldn’t afford the payments, and how he’d be “open” to not fighting again, if his trip to India leads him in that direction. Check it out.

The Ultimate Fighter 16 Finale Aftermath — The Perfect Ending to the Series You Didn’t Watch


Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

If you haven’t been keeping up with a television series, taking the time on a Saturday night to watch the series finale is a gigantic waste of time. Heading into the finale of a season that we could not have cared less about, the UFC realized that they were facing this exact problem. The promotion realized that if the finale was going to generate any kind of interest, it would have to actually place as little emphasis as possible on the fighters from the show. Rather than focusing on the contestants, the finale was a card packed with current UFC talent.

In an effort to ensure that this wouldn’t backfire, the promotion made sure that the guys filling in for whoever was actually on this season of The Ultimate Fighter were guys you’ve heard of. One great fight led to another great fight, and pretty soon we were anticipating one of the best free shows we’ve been given in a while. As we wrote yesterday, on paper, this card wasn’t so much a TUF Finale as it was a genuinely stacked lineup of free fights that included one main card match between two guys you’ve never seen before.

Even though injuries scrapped the fight between this season’s coaches (as is tradition), and Jamie Varner was forced off of the card at the last minute (more on that later), this event exceeded all of our expectations. Actually, that puts things too mildly: this may have been, top to bottom, the best event of 2012. Let that sink in: A TUF Finale produced a legitimate candidate for Event of the Year – when was the last time we’ve been able to say THAT?


Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

If you haven’t been keeping up with a television series, taking the time on a Saturday night to watch the series finale is a gigantic waste of time. Heading into the finale of a season that we could not have cared less about, the UFC realized that they were facing this exact problem. The promotion realized that if the finale was going to generate any kind of interest, it would have to actually place as little emphasis as possible on the fighters from the show. Rather than focusing on the contestants, the finale was a card packed with current UFC talent.

In an effort to ensure that this wouldn’t backfire, the promotion made sure that the guys filling in for whoever was actually on this season of The Ultimate Fighter were guys you’ve heard of. One great fight led to another great fight, and pretty soon we were anticipating one of the best free shows we’ve been given in a while. As we wrote yesterday, on paper, this card wasn’t so much a TUF Finale as it was a genuinely stacked lineup of free fights that included one main card match between two guys you’ve never seen before.

Even though injuries scrapped the fight between this season’s coaches (as is tradition), and Jamie Varner was forced off of the card at the last minute (more on that later), this event exceeded all of our expectations. Actually, that puts things too mildly: this may have been, top to bottom, the best event of 2012. Let that sink in: A TUF Finale produced a legitimate candidate for Event of the Year – when was the last time we’ve been able to say THAT?

If there was a sour note to be taken from last night, it was the postponement of what appeared to have Fight of the Night written all over it, a lightweight fight between Jamie Varner and Melvin Guillard. Given the way that the rest of the fights played out, it’s hard to remain too upset that the fight didn’t go down last night as planned, but it’s still unfortunate that such an exciting fight was moved to UFC 155 at the last minute due to Varner’s stomach illness. A lot of people on Twitter are being quick to accuse Varner of pre-fight bitchassness, but then again, a lot of people on Twitter also think that having Bieber Fever is something they should advertise to the rest of the world (Keep your illnesses to yourselves, people – you don’t see me talking about my crippling drinking problem on the internet).

The main event of the evening pitted TUF 10 veterans Matt Mitrione and eventual winner Roy Nelson against one another. Given Roy’s experience advantage, as well as Mitrione taking the fight on short notice, the quick victory for Big Country wasn’t much of a surprise. We all know that Nelson packs one hell of a punch and has no problem taking out the lower-to-mid level heavyweights, the question now is whether or not he can start picking up victories against the deep end of the heavyweight division.

Also, let’s not be too hard on the Blackzilian by association, Matt Mitrione. It’s hard to imagine that Mitrione’s decision to take the fight on short notice wasn’t at all influenced by the public shaming his boss put on him for turning down Daniel Cormier, because Matt simply isn’t at Roy’s level yet. He entered the fight with six professional bouts, and even though all of them were in the UFC, only two of those fights were victories over fighters still employed by the promotion (and only one of those fighters still competes as a heavyweight). With a little more time, Matt Mitrione can develop into one of the UFC’s better heavyweights, but for now, he’s not ready for fighters as experienced as Roy Nelson.

Elsewhere on the card:

-It was obvious from the start that despite Barry’s unimpressive 4-5 UFC record and Shane Del Rosario’s successful Muay Thai career that the former WBC Muay Thai heavyweight champion wanted absolutely nothing to do with HD on the feet. I don’t exactly blame Del Rosario, as Barry is a powerful puncher who lacks a competitive ground game. Still, his strategy was for nothing in the end. Barry may not have much of a ground game, but as he demonstrated in his victory over Christian Morecraft and continued to demonstrate last night, he has enough of one to avoid submissions from fellow strikers. Once the second round began, Barry ended the fight before Del Rosario could attempt another takedown, picking up Knockout of the Night.

– Yes, Barry took home Knockout of the Night on a card that produced six of them. Personally, I think Rustam Khabilov should have been given the KOTN bonus, although I highly doubt he left the arena without some sort of locker room bonus. Khabilov was absolutely flawless in his UFC debut, making Vinc Pichel look like just another TUF washout (which makes sense, considering he is one). Besides, how many fights end via knockout by suplex?

– I don’t agree with Mike Pyle that his victory puts him in the Top 10, but he delivered a quick, entertaining knockout over James Head last night, making it three victories by knockout in a row. Three straight knockouts certainly make a case for a step-up in competition. We’ll talk about the rankings once we see how he fares with stiffer competition.

– Can someone please hook Jonathan Brookins up with a boxing coach? Brookins is a tough fighter with a passable ground game, but his striking hasn’t changed since his TUF days. While it was good enough to beat the not-quite-readies of reality television, a fighter of Dustin Poirier’s caliber can weather the early storm that Brookins brought last night. Once Poirier was able to regain his composure, it was business as usual, as Poirier put Brookins away with a D’arce choke at 4:15 of the first round.

– No, Poirier did not take home Submission of the Night. Instead, TJ Waldburger took home SOTN honors for his more competitive battle against Nick Catone, which ended with a technical submission by triangle choke just over one minute into the second round.

– Fight of the Night went to Tim Elliott vs. Jared Papazian, although FOTN honors are a bit misleading. Usually, the best fight on the card is the closest, most competitive fight on the card. While this fight was certainly entertaining, it sure wasn’t close and it damn sure wasn’t competitive. It was fifteen minutes of Tim Elliott doing whatever the hell he wanted while Jared Papazian offered minimal resistance. The scorecards read 30-25, 30-25 and 30-26 for a reason.

– One last note: At the beginning of this season of TUF, I wrote “Cool reality show, bro. Let me know who wins it.” Dude’s name is Colton Smith. Wrestlehumping, free Harley, tending to my crippling drinking problem…hey, remember how this card had six knockouts? That was awesome.

Full Results:

Main Card:

Roy Nelson def. Matt Mitrione via TKO (punches), 2:58 Round One
Colton Smith def. Mike Ricci via Unanimous Decision (30-27 x2, 30-26)
Pat Barry def. Shane Del Rosario via KO (punch), 0:26 Round Two
Destin Poirier def. Jonathan Brookins via submisison (D’Arce choke), 4:15 Round One

Preliminary Card Results:

Mike Pyle def. James Head via TKO (knee and punches), 1:55 Round One
Johnny Bedford def. Marcos Vinicius via TKO (strikes), 1:00 Round Two
Rustam Khabilov def. Vinc Pichel via KO (slam and punches), 2:15 Round One
TJ Waldburger def. Nick Catone via technical submission (triangle choke), 1:04 Round Two
Hugo Viana def. Reuben Duran via KO (punch), 4:05 Round One
Mike Rio def. John Cofer via submission (armbar), 4:11 Round Three
Tim Elliott def. Jared Papazian via Unanimous Decision (30-25 x2, 30-26)

@SethFalvo

The Ultimate Fighter 16 Finale — Main Card Results & Commentary


(Mitrione refused to undergo VADA drug-testing. Nelson refused to shampoo the crabs out of his beard. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched a single episode of The Ultimate Fighter this season. (Spoiler alert: You haven’t). Tonight’s TUF 16 Finale on FX is still one of the greatest free cards of the year, partly because there aren’t any TUF also-rans mucking it up.

Instead, we’ve got two heavyweight slugfests (Roy Nelson vs. injury fill-in Matt Mitrione and Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario), a lightweight battle that will likely end up in a brutal stoppage (Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner), a pair of featherweight contenders trying to bounce back from submission losses (Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins), and a TUF 16 welterweight final featuring a man so dehumanized by his time in captivity that at this point he’s nothing more than a vessel for unspeakable acts of violence.

Taking us through the play-by-play this evening is Level 8 Liveblog Wizard Anthony Gannon, who will be updating us with main card results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please, please, please, leave us some comments in the comments section.


(Mitrione refused to undergo VADA drug-testing. Nelson refused to shampoo the crabs out of his beard. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

It doesn’t matter if you haven’t watched a single episode of The Ultimate Fighter this season. (Spoiler alert: You haven’t). Tonight’s TUF 16 Finale on FX is still one of the greatest free cards of the year, partly because there aren’t any TUF also-rans mucking it up.

Instead, we’ve got two heavyweight slugfests (Roy Nelson vs. injury fill-in Matt Mitrione and Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario), a lightweight battle that will likely end up in a brutal stoppage (Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner), a pair of featherweight contenders trying to bounce back from submission losses (Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins), and a TUF 16 welterweight final featuring a man so dehumanized by his time in captivity that at this point he’s nothing more than a vessel for unspeakable acts of violence.

Taking us through the play-by-play this evening is Level 8 Liveblog Wizard Anthony Gannon, who will be updating us with main card results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please, please, please, leave us some comments in the comments section.

A’ight CP Nation, let’s get this shit going. I don’t know about you, but I’m in need of some serious tusslin.’ One more crappy season of The Ultimate Fighter in the books. One more six figure contract, whateverthefuck that even means anymore. One more searing disappointment. And one more deflated hard-on by actually buying Dana White’s “This is the craziest season ever” bullshit. The show has become so excruciating it’s almost embarrassing to admit watching it, kinda like admitting you cried at the end of The Notebook, not me, but ya know, some of you bitch-asses probably did. Well, at least this season we got to see Julian Lane wig out and give us a line that quickly became more famous than he’ll ever be, “Let me bang, bro.”

Here are the preliminary results:

Tim Elliot beat Jared Papazian by unanimous decision, and by the looks of the scores it was a pretty severe beating, 30-25 (twice) and 30-26.

Mike Rio beat John Cofer by third round armbar.

Hugo Viana beat Reuben Duran by first round knockout.

TJ Waldburger beat Nick Catone by second round triangle. Thankfully I missed this cause it’s on the suck-ass FUEL channel no one gets.

Rustan Khabilov beat Vinc Pinchel by first round KO (suplex and punches). A KO suplex slam, on FUEL, mother fucker!

Johnny Bedford beat Marcos Vinicius by second round KO. Probably the best undercard ever…on FUEL.

Mike Pyle beat James Head by first round TKO. Greeaaaaaat!

Joe Rogan informs us that the Jamie Varner/Melvin Guillard fight was scratched due to Varner throwing up backstage, possibly the result of a difficult weight cut. And that’s just great cause that was the best fight on the card.

Jonathan Brookins vs Dustin Poirier is up first.

If you’ve never seen Fightville, shame on you. It’s always on On-Demand and features Dustin “I Desperately Need a New Nickname” “The Diamond” Poirier as he makes his way through the southern Louisiana MMA scene, which is an interesting local circuit to say the least. And you should feel twice as shamed if you’ve never visited that region of America. You can drive for hours without seeing a single human being, and when you finally do see that human being it may very well be some old-ass scary lady selling gumbo outside her shanty. And for $1 a bowl, no you do not get to ask what’s in it, but trust me the possum and squirrel down thar is dang tasty. Anyway, although he’s coming off a pretty brutal submission loss to the Korean Zombie, Poirier is a fighter to watch out for. He’s a nasty striker who is now at ATT to try and tighten up his grappling.

Brookins is a guy who wishes he won The Ultimate Fighter five years ago when TUF winners were coddled and given respectable billing against winnable opponents (see – Michael Bisping). Instead, Brookins is the new breed of TUF “champion,” who just two years and three fights into his UFC tenure is in danger of falling into the pit of obscurity because he’s been paired against guys like Erik Koch and Charles Oliveira. That being said, Brookins’ strength lies in his scrappiness. He likes to clinch, wrestle, make his fights ugly, and rock creepy braids. Hey, that’s just how they roll down in Fraggle Rock.

Round 1: Here we go. They trade leg kicks. Brook with a body shot. Swarms on him, busting him up. Damn, a bunch of shots, a knee, all kinds of hurt. Dustin grabs a hold of Brookins and pushes him into the cage. He seems recovered. Brookins with another big shot. Dustin with an elbow. Dustin charges in, does no damage but pushes Brookins into the cage, Brookins reverses, and they seperate. Brookins with a right, Dustin answers with a nice hook to the chops. Nice knee by Dustin. Body shot by Dustin. Uppercut by Dustin. Brookins has his chin up as usual, and Dustin clips it, rocks him, but he’s okay. Dustin lands another uppercut in the clinch, and now he’s going for a d’arce choke, and he gets the tap! That was sweet.

The official announcement is the d’arce choke at 4:15 of round 1.

Arianny and Britney are looking lovely tonight, as usual. I’d like to eat Arianny’s liver with some black-eyed peas and a nice Colt-45. For Britney, I’m thinking of the tongue with haricot verts and a fine asti spumante.

Vinc Pichel vs Rustam Khaboliv from the undercard is up next, and even though we already know the result so what, it’s a damn suplex knockout so let’s do this shit.

Round 1: Rustam shoots for a takedown, Vinc defending, but goes down eventually. Working some ground and pound from half guard. Vinc gets up, and gets LAUNCHED! He’s up again, and he gets tossed again, brutal! Rustam lauches him yet again, and commences to pound the side of Vinc’s head until the ref steps in. He was done from the suplex, the shots were just cherries on top. Awesome performance!

Thank God they showed that fight. We haven’t seen a guy get launched like that since Nate Diaz made his ill-advised move to welterweight and got bounced around by Rory McDonald.

Pat Barry and Shane del Rosario are up next.

How can you not love Pat Barry? The man is proof-positive of how far an interesting personality can take you. Sporting a 4-5 UFC record is usually not the makings of a securely employed man. However, being a kill-or-be-killed type (of nine UFC fights only one has gone to a decision) can negate a less-than-stellar record, and being a character doubles down on that. Add to that equation that beside a hard-ass leg kick, Barry is a kickboxer who doesn’t seem to be all that good at it, and we have the makings of a marketing genius here.

Del Rosario is another guy who has an impressive striking background, although he’s someone who can back that up with some cred – Rosario is actually the first American to win the WBC Muay Thai heavyweight title.

Neither of these guys is winning grappling tournaments either, although Rosario can tap a fool, at least a non-grappling fool such as Lavar Johnson, whereas Barry couldn’t despite being in side control, mount, and having Johnson in an armlock. What does that mean? This one has all the makings of a barn-burner.

Hmm, a Bellator on Spike commercial during UFC on FX, interesting. Guess bitter rivals can all get along when dollars are exchanged.

Round 1: It’s on. Shane opens hard to the body with a kick, Barry responds with a thumping leg kick. They clinch, and Shane delivers a couple knees. And a couple to the thigh up against the cage. Those don’t look fun. Shane tries for a takedown, Barry defends. Shane has Barry against the cage, knees him to the ribs again. And again. Shane fires one o the side of the head, then sends a knee to the gut. Barry finally escapes the position. Barry with a jab, then a leg kick. Shane shoots in again, Barry defending, but gets it and takes Barry’s back. He’s got a hook in, and going for the choke. He let it go, but Shane is still on Barry’s back. Now he’s going after an arm, now an omoplata. Jesus this is insane. Now he’s trying to take Barry’s back again, but falls off and ends up on the bottom. The round ends with Barry hugging Shane in side control. 10-9 Shane

Round 2: Shane opens with a jab, misses an uppercut. Barry rocks the shit out of him with a hook, then swarms in and knocks Shane the fuck out! Nice.

Damn, Barry cracked him with like five solid hooks, and when the doc tried to grab his arm, he jerked it away like, “Got awff me, son!” That was smooth.

The official decision is in, and it’s a KO at 0:26 of round 2.

Barry is teary-eyed, damn talking about the Connecticut shooting and hugging his kids. He hugs Rogan. Touching scene.

Cool, Mike “King Mullet” Pyle vs James “Sloppy” Head is up next.

And the Southern Comfort commercial with the fat dude walking down the beach could be the best thing ever.

Round 1: They touch and it’s a go. Head with a left hook, misses. Head charges in with a shot, and a few knees. Pyle delivers a knee of his own. They seperate. Pyle with a jab to the chest. Head forces the clinch, and throwing body shots. Pyle with a nasty knee, knocks Head down, then finishes him off. Very sweet, and the mullet makes it that much more badass.

Pyle thinks this win should put him into the Top 10. Not so sure about that, but three straight KOs is a nice run.

Colton Smith vs Mike “Metro” Ricci is up next.

Colton Smith is a lifelong wrestler and an Army Ranger. He will grab a leg and hold onto said leg for however long it takes to get the takedown, could be 30 seconds, could be four minutes and 59 seconds. That’s just how the dude rolls.

Mike Ricci is MMA’s first legitimate metrosexual (not that there’s anything wrong with that). He likes to shop, sip vino from the proper glass, vilify those he considers beneath him, and beat dudes up. And he absolutely despises when his friends change their hairstyles and fail to inform him. Hey, that’s just his thang.

I kinda like that Ricci doesn’t fit the typical mold. Sure, I consider him an arrogant prick too, but it’s nice to have a guy in the finals who, aside from a couple tats, doesn’t so easily fit into the sterotypical fighter package.

Damn, Colton’s old lady is fine. He’s kind of a fucked up looking dude. Pays to be a badass.

Has anyone else noticed how much Tristar guys love wearing tights? What’s up with that? Is that a Canadian thing?

Round 1: D White’s favorite ref is in charge, and it’s time to get it on. Colton ducks a high kick and shoots for a leg, Ricci defends. He’s got Ricci against the cage, working a body lock. Ricci goes down, looking to cage walk back up, and does. Colton’s got his back though, and drags him down. Ricci up, but Colton is all over him. He’s got a hook in, looking for the other. He takes Ricci down, gets the other hook in, looking for a choke. He’s softening Ricci up with head shots. They’re playing wrist control here. That’s a sucky position to be in for Ricci. Ah shit, he loses the position, and Ricci is up. Kick by Colton misses. Ricci throws a punch, Colton wraps him up again. He’s got underhooks, and takes Ricci down again. 10-9 for Colton.

Round 2: Ricci opens with a kick, but takes a nut shot. Ricci looks to the ref for help, but he aint having it, Colton attacks. Mazaghatti gives D White yet another reason to hate him. Colton takes Ricci down, working some ground and pound. Colton is trying to sneak those hooks in again. He’s got em, and going for a choke, but Ricci escapes out the back door. Colton takes his ass down again, and he’s dominating Ricci. Colton just smashed Ricci in the back of the head, has his hooks in again. He’s working that arm under the chin, but can’t get it. He’s sticking to Ricci like a glue trap, just relentless. Going for that choke again, but it looks like Ricci will survive the round. Round ends with Colton peppering Ricci’s mug with patty cake shots. 10-9 for Colton.

Round 3: Ricci with a body kick, but staying true to form, Colton takes him down, working that choke again. Ricci just cannot get anything going here, Colton is all over him, has his back, hooks in, just dominating him. Colton moves to mount, Ricci gives up his back again, working some shots to the side of Ricci’s head. Ricci should try something drastic, like an indian burn or a titty twister, shit something. Ricci tries to turn into Colton, but that aint happening. Ricci is either very good at defending chokes or Colton is very bad at applying them because he’s had Ricci’s back for the majority of the fight. Oh, Ricci reverses the position, has Colton’s back! Going for an armbar, holy shit! But no, Colton escapes, and that is a wrap. 10-9 for Colton and the clear victory.

The official decision is 30-27 (twice) and 30-26 for Colton Smith, the latest Ultimate Fighter, yada, yada, yada. Although he does get a Hog out of it, so that’s sweet. Colton pays mad respect to Ricci, to the troops, and to the good lord.

And the main event is next, Roy Nelson vs Matt Mitrione

It’s good to be a heavyweight. Not only do they generally make more money, but most of them don’t have to worry about cutting weight. Mitrione rolled out to the scales and didn’t even bother taking his jeans off, mocking the lighter weight fighters who had to starve themselves, swallow laxatives, and erase years from their lives by spending excessive time in the sauna.

Nelson took part in the clowning by willingly taking his shirt off, even though he didn’t have to, allowing his fabulous double DDs to freely flop around. And by sporting 17 pounds of lice-infested beard, yet still coming in 13 pounds under the limit.

Mitrione has moved his training camp down to the Blackzilians, even though he’s neither black nor zilian. And he rolls out to “Simple Man.” Respect!

“Big Country” rolls out to “We Will Rock You” with that fucked up beard and Pretorian gear out de ass.

Chris Lytle is in Mitrione’s corner. Let us all bow to Maximus.

Round 1: Herb Dean is the man, and it’s on. Matt opens to the body. Then a high kick, blocked by Nelson. And another. And another. Roy bull rushes him into the cage, working for a takedown. Matt reverses, and delivers a knee. Matt lands an elbow on the seperation, then lands a right hook. Oh, body kick by Matt. Roy firing back, lands a couple decent shots. They trade jabs. Nelson with a huge uppercut, and descends on Mitrione, scoring the TKO. Jesus!

It was an uppercut, then a left/right combo to knock Mitrione on his ass, then a few academic shots on the ground. Very impressive performance.

Roy Nelson with a TKO at 2:38 of the first round.

Eleven fights: only two decisions, with three submissions and six knockouts. I’d say Dana White has a pretty solid boner right about now.

That’s a wrap, later taters.

 

Watch the ‘TUF 16 Finale’ Weigh-Ins Right Here at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

We know it’s confusing, so we’ll try to make this as clear as possible…

– The weigh-ins for tomorrow night’s TUF 16 Finale are scheduled for today at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, and you can watch them live in the player above. We’ll be liveblogging the FX main card broadcast tomorrow night beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

– The weigh-ins for tonight‘s UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson card went down yesterday in Australia, and we’ll be liveblogging the main card tonight beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

– The TUF 16 Finale, which features Roy Nelson vs. Matt Mitrione, Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario, Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner, and Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins, is a pretty badass card. Honestly, if you only have time to watch one UFC event this weekend, make it this one — by which I mean tomorrow’s.

– Fun fact: Melvin Guillard plans on getting the lightweight title when he’s 35 or 40, so that he can retire shortly afterwards, rather than fade into obscurity like other guys who have fought for the title. It all makes sense now.

– We’ll be putting today’s weigh-in results after the jump. You’re welcome.


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

We know it’s confusing, so we’ll try to make this as clear as possible…

– The weigh-ins for tomorrow night’s TUF 16 Finale are scheduled for today at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, and you can watch them live in the player above. We’ll be liveblogging the FX main card broadcast tomorrow night beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

– The weigh-ins for tonight‘s UFC on FX: Sotiropoulos vs. Pearson card went down yesterday in Australia, and we’ll be liveblogging the main card tonight beginning at 9 p.m. ET.

– The TUF 16 Finale, which features Roy Nelson vs. Matt Mitrione, Pat Barry vs. Shane Del Rosario, Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner, and Dustin Poirier vs. Jonathan Brookins, is a pretty badass card. Honestly, if you only have time to watch one UFC event this weekend, make it this one — by which I mean tomorrow’s.

– Fun fact: Melvin Guillard plans on getting the lightweight title when he’s 35 or 40, so that he can retire shortly afterwards, rather than fade into obscurity like other guys who have fought for the title. It all makes sense now.

– We’ll be putting today’s weigh-in results after the jump. You’re welcome.

FX main card
Matt Mitrione (257) vs. Roy Nelson (252)
Mike Ricci (171) vs. Colton Smith (170)
Pat Barry (238) vs. Shane del Rosario (244)
Melvin Guillard (156) vs. Jamie Varner (156)
Jonathan Brookins (146) vs. Dustin Poirier (146)

FUEL TV prelims
James Head (171) vs. Mike Pyle (171)
Johnny Bedford (136) vs. Marcos Vinicius (136)
Rustam Khabilov (155) vs. Vinc Pichel (156)
Nick Catone (171) vs. T.J. Waldburger (170)

Facebook prelims
Reuben Duran (136) vs. Hugo Viana (135)
John Cofer (156) vs. Mike Rio (156)
Tim Elliott (126) vs. Jared Papazian (126)