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UFC Fight Night 36 Results: Machida Outpoints Mousasi, Jacare Edges Carmont

(If you squint and look at Machida’s torso, you will see the face of the old wizard who taught his dad karate. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

I’m a glutton for punishment. After being stranded in North Carolina for most of this week due to snowstorms, I finally got back to Michigan yesterday, exhausted and displaying possible flu-like symptoms. I feel jet-lagged even though I never left the Eastern time-zone. That’s what four straight meals at a Marriott bar will do to you.

So it’s Saturday night and I figured, instead of catching up on sleep, why don’t I liveblog a low-level international UFC show with a main card that could drag on well past 1 a.m. ET? I don’t know, man. In another time, I’d probably be self-flagellating.

At least the headliner is a good one; we’ve got Lyoto Machida fighting for a possible middleweight title shot against Gegard Mousasi. Also on the card: Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza, Erick Silva, and Charles Oliveira, all fighting guys you probably don’t care much about. Plus, a fight between Viscardi Andrade and Nicholas Musoke that I won’t even be liveblogging because seriously, who the hell are those guys?

I, BG, will be putting live results from the FOX Sports 1 main card after the jump beginning at 10:30 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section or via twitter.

(If you squint and look at Machida’s torso, you will see the face of the old wizard who taught his dad karate. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Preliminary card results:
– Joe Proctor def. Cristiano Marcello via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-27)
– Rodrigo Damm def. Ivan Jorge via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Francisco Trinaldo def. Jesse Ronson via split-decision (30-27, 29-28, 28-29)
– Yuri Alcantara def. Wilson Reis via split-decision (30-27 x 2, 28-29)
– Felipe Arantes def. Maximo Blanco via unanimous decision (29-27 x 3. Blanco was docked a point in round 3 for a groin-kick)
– Ildemar Alcantara def. Albert Tumenov via split-decision (30-27, 29-28, 28-29)
– Zubaira Tukhugov def. Douglas Silva De Andrade via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)

I’m praying for a night of first-round knockouts. There’s no way I’ll last to the end, if the broadcast is loaded with video game commercials and the main event goes five rounds. I’m giving myself a hard out at 1:30 a.m. Seriously, even if we’re in the middle of the last round of Machida/Mousasi, I’m going to bed.

Fun fact: The last 14 UFC prelim matches have gone to decision.

Charles Oliveira vs. Andy Ogle

Oliveira is a -650 favorite in this fight? Thank God, we might actually see a stoppage here.

Round 1: Ogle marches forward throwing punches right away. Oliveira clinches and stuffs a knee into Ogle’s ribs, stopping his momentum. Oliveira scores a takedown without much difficulty. Oliveira looks for a head-and-arm choke, but can’t get it. Oliveira takes Ogle’s back. Ogle stands up while backpacked. Oliveira secures a body triangle and works hard for the rear-naked choke. Ogle flips backwards and they’re back on the mat. Oliveira with some punches to Ogle’s temple. Ogle sits up, trying to twist out of the position. Oliveira is undeterred. Oliveira stays active looking for the choke. Ogle has had to play defense for the majority of this round. Ogle tries to escape, Oliveira drags him right back down. Oliveira with an elbow to Ogle’s ribs as the round ends. Easy 10-9 for Oliveira.

Round 2: Ogle strikes first once again, the crowd boos because it seems like Oliveira was trying to touch gloves. Oliveira shoots and misses, shoots again and Ogle winds up in top position after a reversal. Oliveira stands up and gets punched on the way out. Oliveira dashes in and takes Ogle down as the Brit tries to throw leather. Now Ogle stands up. Ogle defends a takedown but Oliveira snatches a guillotine and drops to the mat. Ogle gets out and briefly threatens with a guillotine of his own before Oliveira gets to his feet. The crowd boos a brief stalemate against the cage. Ogle responds by body-slamming Oliveira. Ogle gets on top and fires down an elbow. Oliveira looking for a triangle off his back. Ogle moves to side control, Oliveira stands up, fires a knee to Ogle’s head and takes his back, falling to the mat. There’s the bell. Much closer round. I don’t know, 10-10? Maybe a slight edge to Ogle?

Round 3: Ogle comes in swinging as usual, but Oliveira is ready this time, knocking Ogle down with a punch and following him down to try to finish with a choke. Ogle gets up, and takes Oliveira down from a clinch. Oliveira gets up and they trade punches. Ogle scores with a solid leg kick. Oliveira tries for a takedown but botches it and Ogle gets on top. Oliveira throws some upkicks that seem rather illegal, but there’s no call. Then, he snatches a triangle with Ogle’s arm trapped and Ogle taps immediately. Boom. The no-finish streak is over.

Charles Oliveira def. Andy Ogle via submission (triangle choke), 2:40 of round 3. No time for a post-fight interview — we have a Cormier vs. Cummins hype-segment to get through.

Viscardi Andrade vs. Nicholas “Nico” Musoke

Yeah, this is the fight I’m not liveblogging. I will post the result as soon as it’s over, and if there’s a finish, I’ll link to the GIF or something.

It’s actually not a bad fight. Andrade dropped Musoke in round one, then tried to walk off in a boneheaded display of premature celebration. Musoke almost caught him in a submission like ten seconds later. Oh man, if Musoke pulled it off, the 2014 Fail of the Year Potato Award would have gone to Andrade, guaranteed. The fight had decent moments of brawliness in rounds 2 and 3, but obviously, it went to decision.

Niko Musoke def. Viscardi Andrade via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3).

Erick Silva vs. Takenori Sato

Round 1: Silva apparently has the shortest active fight time among active UFC fighters. Silva lands a hard body kick right away that makes Sato wince. Sato shoots and grabs Silva’s leg in apparent desperation/agony, and Silva slugs him in the head, then jumps up and kicks Sato behind his back with his heel, like a soccer ball. It’s hard to explain, hopefully I’ll find a GIF. Anyway, Sato drags him down, but Silva gets up and jackhammers Sato in the head with punches until Sato goes limp. Silva’s shortest-fight stat is definitely intact.

Erick Silva def. Takenori Sato via KO, 0:52 of round 1.

Oh, and here’s the GIF of Silva’s “hackey-sack” heel-kicks.

Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza vs. Francis Carmont

Round 1: Carmont throws out a very fast front-leg roundhouse. He tries it again and whiffs. Jacare trying hard to get inside. He fires a big overhand right, then lands a spinning back kick. Jacare storms forward and takes Carmont down, then takes his back. Jacare sinks the body-triangle. Jacare working to set up the rear-naked choke, but Carmont defends well. Jacare whips his left arm under Carmont’s neck. Carmont is in huge trouble but he grits it out and escapes. Jacare tries to isolate a wrist. Carmont fires punches behind his head, Jacare’s double-slaps Carmont in the ears. The round ends, 10-9 Souza.

Round 2: Carmont tries a low kick. Souza returns one, then fires a kick high and shoots to clinch. Carmont defends. Jacare slugging now, landing hard to the body and head, and he follows it up with a another spinning heel-kick. Jacare fires his big overhand right. Carmont returns fire and Jacare slips to the mat but pops back up. Carmont with a front kick to the body. Jacare shoots from long range, Carmont defends. They trade punches. Carmont lands a punch combo. Jacare misses a high kick. Carmont lands a jab, a follow-up straight, another jab. Souza lands twice to the body. Carmont throws his arms up, Diaz style.They clinch, Souza gets in a knee and a hook, Carmont lands on the way out. There’s the bell.

Round 3: Nice leg kick from Carmont. Switch kick to the body from Carmont. Jacare fires a right and a left to the body. Carmont swings, Jacare slips under and takes him down. Jacare takes his back and fires down some shots to the side of Carmont’s head. Jacare threatens with a choke, Carmont rolls away. Jacare is smothering Carmont against the fence. Jacare looks for the choke again, can’t find it. Carmont fires punches behind him at Jacare. Jacare is on Carmont’s back and he isn’t going anywhere. Jacare trying once again to finish with a choke, but Carmont defends. They scramble to a sitting position. Carmont still throwing those punches behind his head. Jacare stays on his back to the bell.

Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza def. Francis Carmont via unanimous decision (29-28 x 2, 30-27)

Lyoto Machida vs. Gegard Mousasi

Round 1: Mousasi makes first contact with an outside leg kick. Machida gives an inside leg kick back. Machida tries it again and whiffs. Machida lands a solid body kick as Mousasi stalks toward him. Mousasi lands a leg kick, Machida fires some punches in return but doesn’t land. Mousasi tags the leg again. Machida sticks and moves with a left straight. Mousasi dashes in to land a leg kick. Machida nails a counter-punch. Machida throws punches that don’t hand but scores with a body kick. The bell rings. As with most Machida fights, there wasn’t a ton of action in round 1 and it was kind of hard to score.

Round 2: Machida throws a reverse kick. Mousasi with a leg kick. Sharp inside leg kick from Machida. Mousasi with a leg kick. Body kick from Machida. They both fire punches in close. Outside leg kick from Mousasi. Head kick Machida, but Mousasi shrugs it off. Both guys land in a flurry. Mousasi swings and misses. Mousasi lands a body kick. Machida with a quick turning side kick. Mousasi lands a very solid right during a striking exchange. Leg kick Mousasi. Inside leg kick Machida. Mousasi with one more leg kick at the bell.

Round 3: Mousasi lands a left hook. Mousasi shoots, Machida defends and they clinch. Mousasi with a knee to the body. Machida lands a big left straight, and follows it up with a front kick to the body. Machida with that turning side kick again. Machida throws the high left kick again with Mousasi takes on his glove. Machida lands it again. Machida finding his momentum here. Step-in knee from Machida. Mousasi fires punches that mostly miss. Counterpunch from Machida. Machida tries a right elbow. He tries a takedown and is rebuffed. There’s the bell. 10-9 Machida…the clearest round of the fight, so far.

Round 4: Mousasi ducks under a front kick from Machida and takes him down. Machida pops back up immediately. Machida pops in a left hand and dodges the big counter from Mousasi. Machida tries a foot-sweep. Machida trips Mousasi to the mat with authority. Mousasi on top in side control but Mousasi works back into full guard. Mousasi sweeps, and winds up on top in Machida’s guard. Machida tries to set up an omoplata, Mousasi shakes out and fires down an elbow. Machida stands up and Mousasi throws some upkicks, the second of which lands while Machida clearly had his knee down. Mario Yamasaki lets Mousasi off with a warning. The round ends.

Round 5: Inside leg kick Mousasi. Machida storms forward with jabs and a left high kick. Mousasi pops Machida in the face but Machida does a little handstand Capoeira kick that lands to the body. Hard step-in knee from Machida. Mousasi walking forward and swinging. Machida tries a foot-sweep while Mousasi shoots, Machida defends the shot and wins up on top. Machida in guard. Machida jumps to Mousasi’s back. Mousasi rolls out and Machida jumps to his feet then slugs Mousasi in the grill as the round ends.

Lyoto Machida def. Gegard Mousasi via unanimous decision (49-46, 50-45 x 2)

By the way, that’s two UFC events in a row featuring 10 decisions.

Machida didn’t have enough time to find the kill shot tonight, but he could find himself with the next middleweight title shot anyway. Do you like his chances against the winner of Weidman vs. Belfort?

G’night Potato Nation, we’ll talk tomorrow…

Catch the ‘Fight Night 36: Machida vs. Mousasi’ Weigh-Ins LIVE Right Here Starting at 1 p.m. EST [UPDATED w/RESULTS]

(Uh-oh. Grizzled, unkempt Machida is easily the most dangerous of all Machidas. Photo via Getty.)

Lyoto Machida, Gegard Mousasi, and all 24 fighters competing on tomorrow’s ‘Fight Night 36’ card are set to hit the scales from the Arena Jaragua in Jaragua do Sul, Santa Catarina, Brazil starting at 1 p.m. EST. Although Fight Night 36 is eerily similar in quality to next weekend’s UFC 170 pay-per-view, it features neither Ronda Rousey nor the year’s biggest squash match and therefore will be free. No, I do not understand it either.

Join us after the jump for a live feed of the weigh-ins, which are sure to feature no shortage of graceful bows and vacant, serial killer-esque stares into the distance. Should be a good one.

(Uh-oh. Grizzled, unkempt Machida is easily the most dangerous of all Machidas. Photo via Getty.)

Lyoto Machida, Gegard Mousasi, and all 24 fighters competing on tomorrow’s ‘Fight Night 36′ card are set to hit the scales from the Arena Jaragua in Jaragua do Sul, Santa Catarina, Brazil starting at 1 p.m. EST. Although Fight Night 36 is eerily similar in quality to next weekend’s UFC 170 pay-per-view, it features neither Ronda Rousey nor the year’s biggest squash match and therefore will be free. No, I do not understand it either.

Join us after the jump for a live feed of the weigh-ins, which are sure to feature no shortage of graceful bows and vacant, serial killer-esque stares into the distance. Should be a good one.

Main Card (10:30 p.m. EST, Fox Sports 1)
Lyoto Machida (185) vs. Gegard Mousasi (186)
Francis Carmont (185) vs. Ronaldo Souza (185)
Takenori Sato (170) vs. Erick Silva (170)
Viscardi Andrade (170) vs. Nicholas Musoke (170)
Andy Ogle (146) vs. Charles Oliveira (143)

Preliminary Card (7:30 p.m EST, UFC Fight Pass)
Cristiano Marcello (156) vs. Joe Proctor (155)
Rodrigo Damm (156) vs. Ivan Jorge (156)
Jesse Ronson (156) vs. Francisco Trinaldo (155)
Yuri Alcantara (136) vs. Wilson Reis (135)
Felipe Arantes (146) vs. Maximo Blanco (147.9*)
Ildemar Alcantara (171) vs. Albert Tumenov (170)
Douglas de Andrade (145) vs. Zubair Tuhugov (146)

*Blanco has an hour to drop the weight

UFC Fight Night 29 Aftermath: Shields Edges Out Maia, Palhares and Kim Score Brutal Victories

(Kim vs. Silva: The moment of impact, and the aftermath. / Photos via Getty)

I wouldn’t call yesterday’s UFC Fight Night event a great card, necessarily — the headlining bout was predictably slow, and the main card broadcast dragged in the middle thanks to the light-heavyweights. Still, there were enough violent, surprising, and awful moments at UFC Fight Night 29 to make it worth discussing. So let’s talk about the interesting stuff first, and work our way down to the crap.

Rousimar Palhares may look a little different at welterweight*, but his gameplan hasn’t changed one iota. From the opening bell, Palhares aggressively dove for the legs of Mike Pierce, in an attempt to sink one of his infamous leg-locks. It worked…maybe a little too well. In just 31 seconds, an agonized Mike Pierce was tapping from a heel-hook. As is custom in MMA, the winning fighter is supposed to release his grip and jump up on the cage to do some flexing. But not Rousimar. As he’s done so many times before, Palhares continued to hold the submission for a moment after the referee intervened — which must have seemed like an eternity to poor Mike Pierce.

Rousimar’s heel-hook was the only submission on the card, and would be worthy of a $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus even if there were other subs to compete with. Instead, the UFC decided to withhold the SOTN bonus due to Palhares’s “unsportsmanlike conduct,” and UFC President Dana White claimed that Palhares would receive an additional punishment for his actions. Palhares previously received a 90-day slap on the wrist** for holding a heel-hook against Tomasz Drwal at UFC 111. Maybe the next punishment will be severe enough for him to actually pay attention.

* By the way, when Palhares showed up in the cage, he almost looked like the old Palhares again. Ah, the miracle of rehydration.

** Allegedly.

(Kim vs. Silva: The moment of impact, and the aftermath. / Photos via Getty)

* By the way, when Palhares showed up in the cage, he almost looked like the old Palhares again. Ah, the miracle of rehydration.

** Allegedly.

While Palhares’s victory was the most savage stoppage on the card, it certainly wasn’t the most surprising. That honor goes to Dong Hyun Kim, who was getting soundly lit up by Erick Silva until Kim ended the fight with a blazing overhand left in round two. Of course, this fight wasn’t without controversy either. Earlier in the round, Kim blatantly grabbed the fence to avoid being taken to the mat by Silva. The ref warned him about it — but didn’t pause the action or deduct a point — and the next thing you know, DHK uncorked a one-hitter quitter. Basically, it was the greatest use of an illegal fence grab since Jose Aldo did the exact same thing against Chad Mendes at UFC 142. All together, now…”YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CHEAT IN AN MMA FIGHT.” Kim is now on a three-fight win streak in the welterweight division, and earned the first Knockout of the Night bonus of his UFC career.

So let’s talk about those light-heavyweights, huh? Thiago Silva managed to save his job by beating Matt Hamill via decision, but it wasn’t pretty. Hamill started aggressively (as he often does), before fading later in the fight (as he often does). To a large extent, you can credit that to Silva’s relentless leg kicks, which jolted Hamill around the cage and stole much of his mobility. By the end of round three, Hamill was just looking to be put out of his misery. Every leg kick from Silva had him stumbling around in a circle, and Hamill was too exhausted to even stay upright, leaning over at the waist several times with his head completely exposed to further abuse. Silva landed strikes at will, but couldn’t find the strength to deliver a merciful death-blow, which suggested that Silva might have been pretty gassed himself. When the final bell sounded, Thiago Silva had staved off the reaper of unemployment, and Hamill proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he should have stayed retired.

Speaking of fighters who faded deep into the fight, Raphael Assuncao and T.J. Dillashaw earned UFC Fight Night 29′s Fight of the Night bonuses, despite the fact that the third round was eerily quiet, with both fighters (but especially Dillashaw) seemingly losing interest in attacking. Dillashaw started off as the aggressor both on the feet and on the mat, and managed to take the Brazilian’s back for a portion of the round. But Assuncao shifted the momentum in the second frame, landing more of his shots and bloodying the face of Dillashaw.

Just when Dillashaw should have picked up the pace in the decisive final round, he took his foot off the gas, steadily walking toward Assuncao but not really doing anything productive. Outside of a few counter-punches, Assuncao seemed to be cool with riding the clock out as well, which he did en route to a split-decision win. The crowd booed the lack of activity during round three, and yet this was officially the best fight on the card. Hmm. Personally, I would have given that honor to Kim vs. Silva — who doesn’t love a comeback knockout? — but maybe the UFC wanted to spread the bonus money around a little more.

Jake Shields‘s split-decision win over Demian Maia was impressive in theory, but not particularly fun to watch. We have to give Shields props for going into enemy territory and out-grappling a grappler who was supposed to be better than him. And he absolutely did that, securing more dominant positions against Maia and abusing the Brazilian with punches and elbows from the top whenever the opportunities presented themselves. The question is, will a methodical 25-minute ground battle do anything to raise Jake’s stock in the welterweight division? Short answer: Hell no. There are too many exciting contenders currently clogging up the top of the 170-pound ladder, and once again, Shields proved that his fights are not required viewing. Seven bouts into his UFC career, he’s still looking for his first stoppage victory, and he’s never been worthy of a Fight of the Night bonus. Being a great fighter means nothing if the fans and the promotion don’t care.

As for Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran…ugh, what can you say, really? Some ugly brawls are fun to watch, some are just ugly. Maldonado proved that even in victory, he can’t avoid getting his face torn to shit, and that he’ll make it a close fight even when he doesn’t have to. Beltran proved that he might not even be a Bellator-caliber fighter, although we’ll leave that to Viacom to decide.

— Ben Goldstein

Full UFC Fight Night 29 results

Main Card
Jake Shields def. Demian Maia via split decision (48-47 x 2, 47-48)
Dong Hyun Kim def. Erick Silva via KO, 3:01 of round 2
Thiago Silva def. Mat Hamill via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
Fabio Maldonado def. Joey Beltran via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
Rousimar Palhares def. Mike Pierce via submission (heel hook), 0:31 of round 1
Raphael Assuncao def. T.J. Dillashaw via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)

Preliminary Card
Igor Araujo def. Ildemar Alcantara via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
Yan Cabral def. David Mitchell via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
Chris Cariaso def. Iliarde Santos via TKO, 4:31 of round 2
Alan Patrick def. Garett Whiteley via TKO, 3:54 of round 1

UFC Fight Night 29: Maia vs. Shields — Live Results and Commentary

(“Alright homey, let’s give these fans what they paid for — 25 minutes of evenly-matched grappling stalemates.” / Photo via Getty)

Let’s be honest, Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields may turn out to be the most piss-break worthy UFC main event since Mousasi vs. Latifi. Luckily, the supporting card for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 29 card is loaded with the kind of action-packed Brazil vs. The World matchups that the local fans go nuts for, including Thiago Silva’s absolute-must-win fight against Matt Hamill, and the freaky welterweight debut of Rousimar Palhares (who was not looking too good at the weigh-ins, by the way). Plus: Breast cancer awareness advocate Erick Silva faces off against Dong Hyun Kim, Fabio Maldonado slugs it out with Joey Beltran, and Brazilian Arianny enters our lives once again.

Handling the play-by-play for the FOX Sports 1 main card is Seth Falvo, who will be stacking live results and his own deep thoughts after the jump beginning at 7 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own thoughts into the comments section.

(“Alright homey, let’s give these fans what they paid for — 25 minutes of evenly-matched grappling stalemates.” / Photo via Getty)

Preliminary card results
Igor Araujo def. Ildemar Alcantara by unanimous decision
Yan Cabral def. David Mitchell by unanimous decision
Chris Cariaso def. Iliarde Santos by TKO, 4:31 Round Two
Alan Patrick def. Garett Whiteley by TKO, 3:45 Round One

Please stand by…

Good evening everyone – pleasure for me to be bringing you live results. I hope you didn’t buy into that “deep thoughts” nonsense that Ben tried to sell you on. Honestly, if I make it through this with only one semi-related GIF, only one obscure professional wrestling reference, and only five hundred typos, I’ll consider this liveblog a smashing success.

AND WE ARE LIVE!!!

I happen to be watching the fights this evening from the classiest place imaginable. Well, classiest place that will allow me to furiously tap at a keyboard and swear at a television, that is (I’m at a suburban Buffalo Wild Wings outside of New Orleans. Judge me, bro). KenFlo’s hair looks magnificent, there’s an Ultimate Fighter preview on tv, and all is right in the world. Alright, let’s do this:

Raphael Assuncao vs. T.J. Dillashaw

Round One: Nice leg kick from Raphael to start us of. Dillashaw is swinging for the fences early, but not really connecting. They’re feeling each other out, throwing leg kicks that occasionally land. Dillashaw with a nice takedown, but Assuncao is soon back to his feet. Head kick from Dillashaw gets caught by Assuncao, but Dillashaw escapes. There’s a scramble, and Dillashaw not has Assuncao’s back! He’s working for a standing rear-naked choke, and Assuncao is now on the mat. He’s got room to breathe though. Dillashaw gives up on the choke attempt, and Assuncao manages to escape. They’re back on their feet now. Dillashaw attempts a front kick as the round comes to an end.

Round Two: They touch gloves, and Assuncao immediately throws a leg kick. Another one lands for Assuncao. He now attempts a head kick, but it misses. Dillashaw now does the same thing. Dillashaw throws a body kick, and Assuncao catches it, landing a nice straight. Dillashaw lands another takedown, pinning Assuncao against the cage. They’re back to their feet, and Dillashaw throws another head kick. Assuncao trips, then attempts a takedown that is stuffed by Dillashaw. Once again, Dillashaw has Assuncao’s back, but Assuncao escapes and we’re back to the feet. Lots of blood now, but I can’t tell who is bleeding.

Um, is this a mid-round commercial break? Dafuq?

Round Three: We’re back, and both guys are feeling each other out with the occasional leg kick. So far, I got Dillashaw winning both rounds…you know, in case you care to trust the guy who just got confused by a commercial break. Assuncao catches another kick, and works for another takedown that Dillashaw stuffs immediately. Dillashaw appears to be cut above his right eye. Two minutes left in this one. Assuncao is landing some nice counter strikes, but unless he gets the KO, I think it’ll be too little too late. One minute left now, and Assuncao misses with a kick. Assuncao now has Dillashaw clinched up against the cage, but Dillashaw escapes. This fight comes to an end, and I have Dillashaw taking it, 29-28. Let’s see if the refs agree…

Only one does. Raphael Assuncao def. T.J. Dillashaw by split decision.

Rousimar Palhares vs. Mike Pierce

Round One:Pierce immediately rushes Palhares, and immediately regrets his decision by nearly getting caught in a heel hook. He escapes, and proceeds to get caught in a heel hook that actually ends the fight.

Official Result: Rousimar Palhares def. Mike Pierce via submission (heel hook), 0:31 of Round One. Bold prediction [/sarcasm]: This will be the submission of the night.

We’ve now got Chael Sonnen and Brian Stann doing their best to convince us that Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill will be worth watching. That’s neat, I guess…

That segment is wisely followed up by a UFC 166 preview.

Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran

Round One: They touch gloves, and Beltran is throwing combinations early and often. He now has Fabio clinched against the cage, and…ouch, that’s gotta hurt. Is it me, or is Maldonado like, reaaalllllyyyy prone to nut shots? Okay, we’re back. Beltran is throwing, but Maldonado is doing a good job avoiding his punches. They clinch against the cage again, and Beltran looks for a standing guillotine. Maldonado with a few nice body shots, and Beltran is now incorporating a wall-and-stall heavy offense, with a few knees and elbows sprinkled in . Beltran swings for the fences, but Maldonado avoids his haymakers. He can’t escape from the cage though. Beltran lands a nice straight right, and Fabio seems dazed. The round ends with Maldonado taunting Beltran, who I think was busy enough to take the round.

Round Two: Maldonado begins the round with a double thumbs-up. I approve. Beltran is throwing some heavy strikes, but Maldonado is doing a nice job avoiding and countering. Beltran rushes Maldonado against the cage, and both men are now letting their hands go. Beltran clinches Maldonado against the cage, and lands a really nice knee. Yamasaki separates them, as Maldonado appears to have dropped his mouth guard. Beltran attempts to get Fabio back against the cage, but Maldonado gets away. This fight now has both men clinching in the center of the cage, throwing body shots. They separate, with Beltran blitzing Maldonado in an attempt to get his back against the cage, as this round comes to an end. Good fight.

Round Three: We’ve got more combinations, more Beltran clinching against the cage, a foul (this time Beltran is on the business end), blood, more clinching, some nice knees from Beltran, and these two hug it out at the end of the fight. What can I say, I decided to be efficient this round.

Fabio Maldonado def. Joey Beltran via split decision.

Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill

I do not feel good about this…

Round One: Hamill has officially lasted longer than Mike Pierce did…so, you know, there’s that. Leg kick Hamill. And another, that Silva counters with a huge right hand. Leg kick Silva. Hamill with a nice body shot there. Two minutes left in the round, with Silva missing with a vicious haymaker. Hamill is doing a good job avoiding Silva’s heavier shopts, but Silva has had success with leg kicks throughout the round. Much closer first round than I was anticipating.

Round Two: Hamill catches Silva early, but Silva recovers. Hamill is keeping his hands dangerously low, as Silva is still catching Hamill with leg kicks. Some awkward, slow combinations from Hamill…that Silva barely misses. My this fight is sad. Silva now has Hamill’s back and is throwing punches, but Hamill escapes. The fight returns to a slow, sloppy kickboxing match, until Hamill takes Silva’s back against the cage. Hamill now has Silva on the ground, but can’t finish the fight before this round mercifully comes to an end.

Round Three: You know what? Screw liveblogging this fight. Play us off, wrestler GIF.

Thiago Silva def. Matt Hamill via unanimous decision.

Erick Silva vs. Dong-Hyun Kim

Whoa, technical difficulties here! Don’t get too excited though, because I’m back. Anyways, Kim’s grinding style works well in neutralizing Silva for most of the fight, and then Kim connects with a HUGE overhand ~~right~~ left, knocking Silva out cold. Awesome victory for Kim!

Dong-Hyun Kim def. Erick Silva via KO, 3:01 Round Two

Main event time!

Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields

Round One: No glove touch here, as Shields opens up with some leg kicks. Maia shoots for a takedown, and now has Shields against the cage looking for the takedown. He eventually gets it, and is in Shields’ guard. Maia looks to transition, but Shields’ butterfly guard is strong, and is controlling Maia’s hips well. Shields gets to his feet, and works for a takedown of his own now. Maia reverses, and lands another takedown. Shields gets up, but gives Maia his back in the process. Shields escapes, and gets Maia down. Maia has shields in his half guard, and gains full guard as Shields attempts to pass to side control. Shields attempts to pass guard, but Maia isn’t having it. Shields throws a few punches now, as Maia is now throwing punches from the bottom. The round ends with Shields in Maia’s guard.

Round Two: Shields opens the round with a few kicks, and then shoots for a takedown. Maia stuffs it, and looks for a takedown of his own now. Shields counters that takedown, and is in Maia’s half guard against the cage. Maia has full guard now. Shields is working for elbows, as Maia looks for a way back to his feet. Shields is back in Maia’s half guard, as Maia looks for a triangle. Shields avoids it, as Maia uses the butterfly guard to try to get a little space. Shields is content to control space – not exactly a bad strategy when you’re grappling against a guy like Maia. To Maia’s credit, he’s been looking for submissions and passes for the entire round, as this one comes to an end.

Round Three: Shields with another leg kick, and throws a head kick as well. Maia with a straight left, and misses with another one. Body shot Maia. Big left from Maia, as Shields decides he’s done pretending to be a kickboxer and shoots for a takedown. Maia reverses it, and now has Shields against the cage. Shields counters the takedown nicely, and now they’re back on the feet. Maia rocks Shields, and has Shields’ back. He gets the takedown, and has Shields’ back. AWESOME reversal from Shields, and he’s in Maia’s guard. Both guys are punching each other from Maia’s guard, as Shields now passes to Maia’s half-guiard. Maia throwing some ineffective punches from the bottom, as Shields begins to throw a few hammerfists. Shields throws a few elbows, as this round comes to an end.

Round Four: They feel each other out, and Shields rushes in for a double-leg takedown. Shields has Maia against the cage, but Maia reverses, and throws a knee against the cage. Shields reverses position now, and the ref has seen enough. He separates them, and Shields immediately shoots for a single leg. He’s unable to get it, and looks frustrated. He shoots for another, and Maia stuffs it. Maia is in Shields’ guard, with just under two minutes to go. Maia with some body shots, and we’ve got yet another stand-up. Eh, I’ve seen more than enough sloppy kickboxing from Silva/Hamill, but it’s not the worst stand-up I’ve seen. Maia gets the better of the exchanges as this round comes to an end. Both guys look exhausted.

Round Five: It’s been a close fight, as Shields is working his jab early and often to start things off. Maia is throwing some heavy shots, but he’s coming up short with most of them. Shields shoots for a takedown, but Maia stuffs it. Shields with a kick. Shields shoots for another takedown, but Maia stays on his feet. Maia now has Shields against the cage, but Shields escapes, and we’re treated to more grapplers impersonating kickboxers. Delightful. Maia lands a nice left hand, and Shields lands a kick. Shields shoots for another takedown, but Maia sprawls. Shields has Maia against the cage, but Maia works for a standing kimura. The ref separates them with less than thirty seconds to go. Maia is swinging for the fences, but Shields manages to survive until the end of the fight.

Tough call on who won this one…

The official decision is in: Jake Shields def. Demian Maia via split decision.

Eh, my parlay paid off, so I’m pretty excited. Interesting night of fights. We’ll have plenty to discuss tomorrow.

There Will Be Bear Hugs: Erick Silva vs. Dong Hyun Kim in the Works for TBD October UFC Event

(Yup, that’s Kim and Sexyama appearing in the most intricately choreographed, not to mention dark, pop music video since “Thriller.” Koreans, man.)

After suffering his first career setback at the hands of Jon Fitch last year*, Brazilian up-and-comer Erick Silva — who has always reminded me of one of those impossibly good-looking antagonists from an 80’s fight movie, just sayin’ — bounced back into the win column with a first round SOTN-earning reverse triangle armbar of Jason High (who just cannot catch a f*cking break in the UFC) at UFC on FUEL 10 in June. According to SporTV Globo, Silva will now face notorious grapplefucker Dong Hyun Kim at one of the UFC’s October scheduled events. Hint: It’s probably the one in Brazil.

In his past two contests, Kim has clung to Paulo Thiago and Siyar Bahadurzada like a shower curtain in a slight breeze en route to a pair of UD victories, improving his UFC record to 8-2-1 NC with exactly 1 stoppage victory. So let’s hope that Silva has drastically improved his takedown defense since the Fitch fight, or we’ll surely be in for another grip-n-trip clinic. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

*And by the transitive property of MMA Math, a 10-second submission to Josh Burkman as well.

–J. Jones

(Yup, that’s Kim and Sexyama appearing in the most intricately choreographed, not to mention dark, pop music video since “Thriller.” Koreans, man.)

After suffering his first career setback at the hands of Jon Fitch last year*, Brazilian up-and-comer Erick Silva — who has always reminded me of one of those impossibly good-looking antagonists from an 80′s fight movie, just sayin’ — bounced back into the win column with a first round SOTN-earning reverse triangle armbar of Jason High (who just cannot catch a f*cking break in the UFC) at UFC on FUEL 10 in June. According to SporTV Globo, Silva will now face notorious grapplefucker Dong Hyun Kim at one of the UFC’s October scheduled events. Hint: It’s probably the one in Brazil.

*And by the transitive property of MMA Math, a 10-second submission to Josh Burkman as well.

–J. Jones

UFC on FUEL Complete Video Highlights: Werdum Armbars Nogueira, Thiago Silva KO’s Feijao + More

If you’re one of the multitudes who doesn’t have FUEL in their cable package — or if you simply had no idea that there was a UFC event going on this weekend — you’ll want to check out this FOX Sports recap of UFC on FUEL 10: Nogueira vs. Werdum, in which Chael Sonnen, Brian Stann, and Jay Glazer take us through four of the fights on the main card, none of which made it out of the second round. Some notes…

– Even in the replay, it’s still not entirely clear where or how Big Nog tapped. But he did, and Anderson Silva has a sad.
– “Seeing Werdum do what Werdum does” is a hell of a tongue-twister, and Brian Stann almost pulls it off.
– We’re still doing that thing where we call the black guy “the explosive athlete”? Really?
– Note to self: When you’re fighting Thiago Silva, the worst thing to do is drop your hands and just stand there.
– It’s not shown in this video, but Rony Jason has the best Rony Jason tattoo on earth.