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UFC Fight Night 38 Results: Dan Henderson H-Bombs Shogun Rua

(Photo via Getty)

UFC Fight Night 38 is a rare Sunday event. Despite the odd timing, free MMA is always worth the watch. But page view-wise, covering lower-level Fight Night cards isn’t always worth the investment of time (ring girl galleries have a much higher rate of return). Nevertheless, we’ll be live blogging UFC Fight Night 38’s main card. It starts at 7:00 PM EST and airs on Fox Sports 1. Stay tuned, and refresh for updates!

(Photo via Getty)

UFC Fight Night 38 is a rare Sunday event. Despite the odd timing, free MMA is always worth the watch. But page view-wise, covering lower-level Fight Night cards isn’t always worth the investment of time (ring girl galleries have a much higher rate of return). Nevertheless, we’ll be live blogging UFC Fight Night 38′s main card. It starts at 7:00 PM EST and airs on Fox Sports 1. Stay tuned, and refresh for updates!

Rony Jason vs. Steven Siler

Round 1: The fight opens after they pan to a guy in the audience with a styrofoam Jason mask. Siler hits a few leg kicks. Jason attempts a counter right and misses big. He tries another and lands. Siler hits another leg kick, and Jason hits another counter right. Siler lands a front kick but misses a 1-2. Jason hits Siler with a massive right hook on the way in, which stumbles Siler. Jason lands a left hook which floors Siler. After a couple follow-up punches it’s over. Siler immediately rises to his feet and he’s pissed. Lots of people on twitter are annoyed too. Looks like Jason won’t be destroying any walls this time.

Rony Jason def. Steven Siler via KO, 1:17 of round 1.

Michel Prazeres vs. Mairbek Taisumov

Round 1: It’s a battle of wiki-less fighters! They touch gloves and immediately Taisumov backs up Prazeres with a front kick. They feel each other out for a minute. Taisumov lands a leg kick and Prazeres lands one of his own. Prazeres connects with a right hand, then a left. They clinch. Prazeres hits a knee to the body, pushes Taisumov against the cage. He attempts to escape but gets taken down. Prazeres gets mount. Taisumov attempts to scramble away, but only manages to down grade Prazeres to side control. Prazeres attempts a north-south choke but Taisumov escapes and the fight returns to the feet. The two fighters stall in over-under position on the cage. There are some week knees. Prazeres finally out-powers Taisumov and drags him to the mat. Prazeres mounts Taisumov and lands some punches. He’s setting up an arm bar but does it lazily, allowing Taisumov to escape back to guard. Prazeres keeps landing punches and some really nice elbows to the body; he’s far too powerful for Taisumov. Prazeres gets mount for an instant, but Taisumove sweeps him. Taisumov lands a kick to Prazeres as he’s still grounded and Mario Yamasaki deducts a point as the round ends. We score it 10-8 Prazeres because of the deduction.

Round 2: Prazeres lands a stiff right to Taismov which wobbles him. Prazeres attempts a guillotine but immediately slips off. He’s not on his back with Taisumov in his guard. A triangle attempt fails. He backs off and Yamasaki stands them up. Prazeres hits a right and and a knee. Taisumov counters with a spinning back kick. Taismov hits Prazeres in the nose with a stiff jab. Yamasaki takes a point away from Taisumov for grabbing the cage on a Prazeres takedown attempt. Prazeres lands a right head kick but it was weak. Taisumov rushes in and eats a right hook for his trouble. Both fighters trade ineffective strikes for the remainder of the round.

Round 3: Prazeres lands yet another right hand to start things off, then presses Taisumov against the cage. He briefly escapes, but winds up there again. Prazeres botches a takedown. Yamasaki warns Taisumov for grabbing the cage again. We thought he might get disqualified with the way Yamasaki has been behaving. Taisumov hits a nasty uppercut on Prazeres which stumbled him. Prazeres eats a big right hand after an atrocious, tired shot. His next takedown attempt is better though, he wrests Taisumov to the ground and gets mount for a split second. Taisumov regains guard and then rises to his feet. A minute left to go now, and miracles aren’t looking likely. Taisumov manages to take Prazeres’ back but he escapes. They reset, and the fight ends. Not surprisingly, Prazeres gets the unanimous decision win.

Michel Prazeres def. Mairbek Taisumov via unanimous decision (30-25, 30-25, 30-35).

Fabio Maldonado vs. Gian Villante

Round 1: Expect this entire fight to be a brawl devoid of technique. Villante lands a leg kick to start the fight. Maldonado rushes in and gets taken down. Villante is in side control landing short elbows. He’s flailing around ineffectively on the bottom, and manages to get to his knees. Villante scrambles quicker though, and is on his back. Maldonado puts his side to the cage and gets to his feet, but Villante is still on him like glue. Villante landing lots of knees to the ass and thighs, and then hits a trip. He remains in side control for about 30 seconds. Maldonado gains half guard for a moment and loses it. Villante can’t seem to do much with his dominant side control save for some short elbows and punches. Maldonado gets back to half guard again and the rounds end after a handful of soft punches.

Round 2: Maldonado lands two jabs and a cross. Villante looks tired and has his hands low. Maldonado lands another two crisp jabs, but Villante lands one of his own. Villante rushes for a messy takedown and gets it. Maldonado gets to his feet quickly but gets his back taken. He escapes but eats an incredible, massive knee at the same time. “Crimson mask” doesn’t quite cover how bloody Maldonado’s face is right now. Villante breathing heavy now. Villante lands a hook, but Maldonado lands two counter hooks to the body. He then lands a jab to the head and two hooks to the head. Villante’s hands are at his waist now, but he lands a very good leg kick. Maldonado lands two body shots and clinches, which is probably a bad idea. Maldonado hits a jab-cross-uppercut combo that snaps Villante’s head back a mile. The round ends.

Round 3: Maldonado lands a triple jab. Villante shoots from across the cage and, predictably, misses. Maldonado is the fresher fighter and seems to be picking Villante apart now. Villante attempts another takedown from a mile away. He follows that up with a leg kick. He goes for a third awful takedown. Maldonado lands a left hook that stuns Villante, and then another. Villante is breathing very heavily and has his hands completely down. Maldonado is pouring on the body shots now, and Villante decides to get on his bicycle. Villante lands a big counter-right but Maldonado eats it and moves forward, landing a jab and a hook. Maldonado is pouring it on it. Villante manages to grab a hold of Maldonado with a body lock. His takedown fails. Maldonado lands three brutal uppercuts. Both fighters are exhausted now and are reaching on their punches. Villante attemps a millionth awful takedown. He’s stumbling around like a drunk at this point, eating massive shots to the face and not blocking any of them. He turtles but the fight ends before it can be stopped. Maldonado gets the nod from the judges.

Fabio Maldonado def. Gian Villante via unanimous decision (29-27, 29-28, 29-28).

Leonardo Santos vs. Norman Parke

Round 1: Santos lands a strong leg kick. Park attempts a high kick and misses. Santos lands a second leg kick which sends Parke’s leg flying back. A third leg kick lands. Santos switches it up and lands a kick to the body, then he hits an uppercut. Parke misses with another high kick. We get an accidental eye poke from Santos and the referee pauses the fight. The action resumes with some wild but ineffective exchanges. Santos lands a stiff uppercut, prompting Parke to clinch. They’re both against the fence, but Parke decides to separate. Parke misses with a leg kick. Santos returns to his leg kicks from earlier in the round. Parke hits a right hand and clinches. The ref separates the two after some inaction. After a few even exchanges, the fighters clinch against the cage again with just as much inactivity. We get another separation. Santos lands a right. Parke throws two more head kicks but Santos blocks each time. Parke clinches and their on the fence again. The round ends as Parke goes for a single leg takedown.

Round 2: A messy exchange leads into another clinch with not much happening. The two start firing punches, with Santos landing more than Parke, though Parke did land a good straight right. He grabs a body lock on Santos. More stalling. The referee takes a point from Parke for grabbing the shorts. That cuold be fight changing. Santos throws a head kick, which Parke blocks. They clinch but separate quickly. On the separation, Parke lands a big right hook. They get into a slugfest and both land big punches. Another clinch occurs. Parke lands a short elbow. Some more good dirty boxing, namely uppercuts, from Parke. The round ends with both fighters clinched and Parke controlling the action. Santos appears to be fading.

Round 3:

Both fighters going insane with strikes at the start of the round, but the awesomeness leads to another clinch with little action in terms of takedowns or advancing position. There’s some strikes from Parke–light knees and punches, but that’s about it. Parke landing more uppercuts from the clinch, but the referee separates them…only for them to go right back into the same position. Great. They get separated again, and a wild slugfest ensues. Santos initiates a clinch this time, only to be backed up against the fence. That’s where the round ends. And guess what? The fight ends in a majority draw!

Leonardo Santos vs. Norman Parke ends in majority Draw (29-27, 28-28, 28-28).

Cezar Ferreira vs. C.B. Dolloway

Round 1: Ferreira hits with a left. Dolloway lands an overhand right which hurts Ferreira and backs him off. There’s a wild exchange and Dolloway lands a huge hook. Ferreira falls to the mat. Dolloway lands several more follow-up strikes and Ferreira is out cold. This one is over as soon as it started.

C.B. Dolloway def. Cezar Ferreira via TKO, 0:39 of round 1.

Mauricio Rua vs. Dan Henderson

Both fighters start of tentative. The “you will die” chants start. Henderson counters a leg kick with an overhand right but misses. Henderson throws a weak leg kick. Shogun lands a strong leg kick. Henderson answers with his own. Henderson tries another “H-bomb” but Shogun blocks it with ease. Henderson wrestles Shogun to the mat briefly but he rises to his feet in a scramble. Both fighters are still tentative. This isn’t shaping up to be anything like their last match, sadly. Hendo lunges for a right hook and misses big. Shogun grabs a thai clinch and lands a knee to the body. The fighters reset. Both throw big right hands and miss. Hendo clips Shogun with a right hook and he’s hurt. Hendo lets his guard down trying to finish, and Shogun lands a brutal counter. Hendo is floored and nearly done. Shogun gets mount and starts landing some punches. Hendo covers up and the round ends. Maybe this will be exciting after all.

Round 2:

The two square off and Shogun lands a big right. Hendo is dazed. Shogun clinches, letting Henderson recover. Henderson hits a couple of knees from the clinch. Stalling. Shogun manages to separate. Shogun reaches with a jab. A wild exchange leads to nothing. Shogun lands a body shot that sends Henderson reeling. Shogun attempts a terrible single leg. An uppercut from Shogun floors Henderson but he doesn’t capitalize. Instead he sits in Henderson’s guard for the next few minutes. Not much activity. Herb Dean finally stands them up. Henderson throws the world’s slowest right hand. The round is over.

Round 3: Henderson moves forwards and flails his arms. Shogun can’t land a counter. Shogun misses a leg kick and twirls around. Henderson shoots. Shogun sprawls and as he rises to his feet Henderson nails him with a picture-perfect H-bomb. Shogun crumples to the mat. Henderson lands some punches and this fight is over.

Here are the card’s complete results:

Main Card

Dan Henderson def. Shogun Rua via TKO (punches), 1:31 of round 3
C.B. Dolloway def. Cezar Ferreira via TKO (punches), 0:39 of round 1
Leonardo Santos vs. Norman Parke ends in majority Draw (29-27, 28-28, 28-28)
Fabio Maldonado def. Gian Villante via unanimous decision (29-27, 29-28, 29-28)
Michel Prazeres def. Mairbek Taisumov via unanimous decision (30-25, 30-25, 30-35)
Rony Jason def. Steven Siler via TKO (punches), 1:17 of round 1

Preliminary Card

Thiago Santos def. Ronny Markes via TKO (body kick and punches), 0:53 of round 1
Jussier Formiga def. Scott Jorgensen via submission (rear naked choke), 3:07 of round 1
Kenny Roberston def. Thiago Perpetuo via submission (rear naked choke), 1:45 of round 1
Hans Stringer def. Francimar Barroso via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Godofredo Castro def. Noad Lahat via KO (flying knee), 2:39 of round 1

UFC Fight Night 29 Aftermath: Shields Edges Out Maia, Palhares and Kim Score Brutal Victories

(Kim vs. Silva: The moment of impact, and the aftermath. / Photos via Getty)

I wouldn’t call yesterday’s UFC Fight Night event a great card, necessarily — the headlining bout was predictably slow, and the main card broadcast dragged in the middle thanks to the light-heavyweights. Still, there were enough violent, surprising, and awful moments at UFC Fight Night 29 to make it worth discussing. So let’s talk about the interesting stuff first, and work our way down to the crap.

Rousimar Palhares may look a little different at welterweight*, but his gameplan hasn’t changed one iota. From the opening bell, Palhares aggressively dove for the legs of Mike Pierce, in an attempt to sink one of his infamous leg-locks. It worked…maybe a little too well. In just 31 seconds, an agonized Mike Pierce was tapping from a heel-hook. As is custom in MMA, the winning fighter is supposed to release his grip and jump up on the cage to do some flexing. But not Rousimar. As he’s done so many times before, Palhares continued to hold the submission for a moment after the referee intervened — which must have seemed like an eternity to poor Mike Pierce.

Rousimar’s heel-hook was the only submission on the card, and would be worthy of a $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus even if there were other subs to compete with. Instead, the UFC decided to withhold the SOTN bonus due to Palhares’s “unsportsmanlike conduct,” and UFC President Dana White claimed that Palhares would receive an additional punishment for his actions. Palhares previously received a 90-day slap on the wrist** for holding a heel-hook against Tomasz Drwal at UFC 111. Maybe the next punishment will be severe enough for him to actually pay attention.

* By the way, when Palhares showed up in the cage, he almost looked like the old Palhares again. Ah, the miracle of rehydration.

** Allegedly.

(Kim vs. Silva: The moment of impact, and the aftermath. / Photos via Getty)

* By the way, when Palhares showed up in the cage, he almost looked like the old Palhares again. Ah, the miracle of rehydration.

** Allegedly.

While Palhares’s victory was the most savage stoppage on the card, it certainly wasn’t the most surprising. That honor goes to Dong Hyun Kim, who was getting soundly lit up by Erick Silva until Kim ended the fight with a blazing overhand left in round two. Of course, this fight wasn’t without controversy either. Earlier in the round, Kim blatantly grabbed the fence to avoid being taken to the mat by Silva. The ref warned him about it — but didn’t pause the action or deduct a point — and the next thing you know, DHK uncorked a one-hitter quitter. Basically, it was the greatest use of an illegal fence grab since Jose Aldo did the exact same thing against Chad Mendes at UFC 142. All together, now…”YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CHEAT IN AN MMA FIGHT.” Kim is now on a three-fight win streak in the welterweight division, and earned the first Knockout of the Night bonus of his UFC career.

So let’s talk about those light-heavyweights, huh? Thiago Silva managed to save his job by beating Matt Hamill via decision, but it wasn’t pretty. Hamill started aggressively (as he often does), before fading later in the fight (as he often does). To a large extent, you can credit that to Silva’s relentless leg kicks, which jolted Hamill around the cage and stole much of his mobility. By the end of round three, Hamill was just looking to be put out of his misery. Every leg kick from Silva had him stumbling around in a circle, and Hamill was too exhausted to even stay upright, leaning over at the waist several times with his head completely exposed to further abuse. Silva landed strikes at will, but couldn’t find the strength to deliver a merciful death-blow, which suggested that Silva might have been pretty gassed himself. When the final bell sounded, Thiago Silva had staved off the reaper of unemployment, and Hamill proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he should have stayed retired.

Speaking of fighters who faded deep into the fight, Raphael Assuncao and T.J. Dillashaw earned UFC Fight Night 29′s Fight of the Night bonuses, despite the fact that the third round was eerily quiet, with both fighters (but especially Dillashaw) seemingly losing interest in attacking. Dillashaw started off as the aggressor both on the feet and on the mat, and managed to take the Brazilian’s back for a portion of the round. But Assuncao shifted the momentum in the second frame, landing more of his shots and bloodying the face of Dillashaw.

Just when Dillashaw should have picked up the pace in the decisive final round, he took his foot off the gas, steadily walking toward Assuncao but not really doing anything productive. Outside of a few counter-punches, Assuncao seemed to be cool with riding the clock out as well, which he did en route to a split-decision win. The crowd booed the lack of activity during round three, and yet this was officially the best fight on the card. Hmm. Personally, I would have given that honor to Kim vs. Silva — who doesn’t love a comeback knockout? — but maybe the UFC wanted to spread the bonus money around a little more.

Jake Shields‘s split-decision win over Demian Maia was impressive in theory, but not particularly fun to watch. We have to give Shields props for going into enemy territory and out-grappling a grappler who was supposed to be better than him. And he absolutely did that, securing more dominant positions against Maia and abusing the Brazilian with punches and elbows from the top whenever the opportunities presented themselves. The question is, will a methodical 25-minute ground battle do anything to raise Jake’s stock in the welterweight division? Short answer: Hell no. There are too many exciting contenders currently clogging up the top of the 170-pound ladder, and once again, Shields proved that his fights are not required viewing. Seven bouts into his UFC career, he’s still looking for his first stoppage victory, and he’s never been worthy of a Fight of the Night bonus. Being a great fighter means nothing if the fans and the promotion don’t care.

As for Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran…ugh, what can you say, really? Some ugly brawls are fun to watch, some are just ugly. Maldonado proved that even in victory, he can’t avoid getting his face torn to shit, and that he’ll make it a close fight even when he doesn’t have to. Beltran proved that he might not even be a Bellator-caliber fighter, although we’ll leave that to Viacom to decide.

— Ben Goldstein

Full UFC Fight Night 29 results

Main Card
Jake Shields def. Demian Maia via split decision (48-47 x 2, 47-48)
Dong Hyun Kim def. Erick Silva via KO, 3:01 of round 2
Thiago Silva def. Mat Hamill via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
Fabio Maldonado def. Joey Beltran via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)
Rousimar Palhares def. Mike Pierce via submission (heel hook), 0:31 of round 1
Raphael Assuncao def. T.J. Dillashaw via split decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29)

Preliminary Card
Igor Araujo def. Ildemar Alcantara via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
Yan Cabral def. David Mitchell via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)
Chris Cariaso def. Iliarde Santos via TKO, 4:31 of round 2
Alan Patrick def. Garett Whiteley via TKO, 3:54 of round 1

UFC Fight Night 29: Maia vs. Shields — Live Results and Commentary

(“Alright homey, let’s give these fans what they paid for — 25 minutes of evenly-matched grappling stalemates.” / Photo via Getty)

Let’s be honest, Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields may turn out to be the most piss-break worthy UFC main event since Mousasi vs. Latifi. Luckily, the supporting card for tonight’s UFC Fight Night 29 card is loaded with the kind of action-packed Brazil vs. The World matchups that the local fans go nuts for, including Thiago Silva’s absolute-must-win fight against Matt Hamill, and the freaky welterweight debut of Rousimar Palhares (who was not looking too good at the weigh-ins, by the way). Plus: Breast cancer awareness advocate Erick Silva faces off against Dong Hyun Kim, Fabio Maldonado slugs it out with Joey Beltran, and Brazilian Arianny enters our lives once again.

Handling the play-by-play for the FOX Sports 1 main card is Seth Falvo, who will be stacking live results and his own deep thoughts after the jump beginning at 7 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own thoughts into the comments section.

(“Alright homey, let’s give these fans what they paid for — 25 minutes of evenly-matched grappling stalemates.” / Photo via Getty)

Preliminary card results
Igor Araujo def. Ildemar Alcantara by unanimous decision
Yan Cabral def. David Mitchell by unanimous decision
Chris Cariaso def. Iliarde Santos by TKO, 4:31 Round Two
Alan Patrick def. Garett Whiteley by TKO, 3:45 Round One

Please stand by…

Good evening everyone – pleasure for me to be bringing you live results. I hope you didn’t buy into that “deep thoughts” nonsense that Ben tried to sell you on. Honestly, if I make it through this with only one semi-related GIF, only one obscure professional wrestling reference, and only five hundred typos, I’ll consider this liveblog a smashing success.

AND WE ARE LIVE!!!

I happen to be watching the fights this evening from the classiest place imaginable. Well, classiest place that will allow me to furiously tap at a keyboard and swear at a television, that is (I’m at a suburban Buffalo Wild Wings outside of New Orleans. Judge me, bro). KenFlo’s hair looks magnificent, there’s an Ultimate Fighter preview on tv, and all is right in the world. Alright, let’s do this:

Raphael Assuncao vs. T.J. Dillashaw

Round One: Nice leg kick from Raphael to start us of. Dillashaw is swinging for the fences early, but not really connecting. They’re feeling each other out, throwing leg kicks that occasionally land. Dillashaw with a nice takedown, but Assuncao is soon back to his feet. Head kick from Dillashaw gets caught by Assuncao, but Dillashaw escapes. There’s a scramble, and Dillashaw not has Assuncao’s back! He’s working for a standing rear-naked choke, and Assuncao is now on the mat. He’s got room to breathe though. Dillashaw gives up on the choke attempt, and Assuncao manages to escape. They’re back on their feet now. Dillashaw attempts a front kick as the round comes to an end.

Round Two: They touch gloves, and Assuncao immediately throws a leg kick. Another one lands for Assuncao. He now attempts a head kick, but it misses. Dillashaw now does the same thing. Dillashaw throws a body kick, and Assuncao catches it, landing a nice straight. Dillashaw lands another takedown, pinning Assuncao against the cage. They’re back to their feet, and Dillashaw throws another head kick. Assuncao trips, then attempts a takedown that is stuffed by Dillashaw. Once again, Dillashaw has Assuncao’s back, but Assuncao escapes and we’re back to the feet. Lots of blood now, but I can’t tell who is bleeding.

Um, is this a mid-round commercial break? Dafuq?

Round Three: We’re back, and both guys are feeling each other out with the occasional leg kick. So far, I got Dillashaw winning both rounds…you know, in case you care to trust the guy who just got confused by a commercial break. Assuncao catches another kick, and works for another takedown that Dillashaw stuffs immediately. Dillashaw appears to be cut above his right eye. Two minutes left in this one. Assuncao is landing some nice counter strikes, but unless he gets the KO, I think it’ll be too little too late. One minute left now, and Assuncao misses with a kick. Assuncao now has Dillashaw clinched up against the cage, but Dillashaw escapes. This fight comes to an end, and I have Dillashaw taking it, 29-28. Let’s see if the refs agree…

Only one does. Raphael Assuncao def. T.J. Dillashaw by split decision.

Rousimar Palhares vs. Mike Pierce

Round One:Pierce immediately rushes Palhares, and immediately regrets his decision by nearly getting caught in a heel hook. He escapes, and proceeds to get caught in a heel hook that actually ends the fight.

Official Result: Rousimar Palhares def. Mike Pierce via submission (heel hook), 0:31 of Round One. Bold prediction [/sarcasm]: This will be the submission of the night.

We’ve now got Chael Sonnen and Brian Stann doing their best to convince us that Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill will be worth watching. That’s neat, I guess…

That segment is wisely followed up by a UFC 166 preview.

Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran

Round One: They touch gloves, and Beltran is throwing combinations early and often. He now has Fabio clinched against the cage, and…ouch, that’s gotta hurt. Is it me, or is Maldonado like, reaaalllllyyyy prone to nut shots? Okay, we’re back. Beltran is throwing, but Maldonado is doing a good job avoiding his punches. They clinch against the cage again, and Beltran looks for a standing guillotine. Maldonado with a few nice body shots, and Beltran is now incorporating a wall-and-stall heavy offense, with a few knees and elbows sprinkled in . Beltran swings for the fences, but Maldonado avoids his haymakers. He can’t escape from the cage though. Beltran lands a nice straight right, and Fabio seems dazed. The round ends with Maldonado taunting Beltran, who I think was busy enough to take the round.

Round Two: Maldonado begins the round with a double thumbs-up. I approve. Beltran is throwing some heavy strikes, but Maldonado is doing a nice job avoiding and countering. Beltran rushes Maldonado against the cage, and both men are now letting their hands go. Beltran clinches Maldonado against the cage, and lands a really nice knee. Yamasaki separates them, as Maldonado appears to have dropped his mouth guard. Beltran attempts to get Fabio back against the cage, but Maldonado gets away. This fight now has both men clinching in the center of the cage, throwing body shots. They separate, with Beltran blitzing Maldonado in an attempt to get his back against the cage, as this round comes to an end. Good fight.

Round Three: We’ve got more combinations, more Beltran clinching against the cage, a foul (this time Beltran is on the business end), blood, more clinching, some nice knees from Beltran, and these two hug it out at the end of the fight. What can I say, I decided to be efficient this round.

Fabio Maldonado def. Joey Beltran via split decision.

Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill

I do not feel good about this…

Round One: Hamill has officially lasted longer than Mike Pierce did…so, you know, there’s that. Leg kick Hamill. And another, that Silva counters with a huge right hand. Leg kick Silva. Hamill with a nice body shot there. Two minutes left in the round, with Silva missing with a vicious haymaker. Hamill is doing a good job avoiding Silva’s heavier shopts, but Silva has had success with leg kicks throughout the round. Much closer first round than I was anticipating.

Round Two: Hamill catches Silva early, but Silva recovers. Hamill is keeping his hands dangerously low, as Silva is still catching Hamill with leg kicks. Some awkward, slow combinations from Hamill…that Silva barely misses. My this fight is sad. Silva now has Hamill’s back and is throwing punches, but Hamill escapes. The fight returns to a slow, sloppy kickboxing match, until Hamill takes Silva’s back against the cage. Hamill now has Silva on the ground, but can’t finish the fight before this round mercifully comes to an end.

Round Three: You know what? Screw liveblogging this fight. Play us off, wrestler GIF.

Thiago Silva def. Matt Hamill via unanimous decision.

Erick Silva vs. Dong-Hyun Kim

Whoa, technical difficulties here! Don’t get too excited though, because I’m back. Anyways, Kim’s grinding style works well in neutralizing Silva for most of the fight, and then Kim connects with a HUGE overhand ~~right~~ left, knocking Silva out cold. Awesome victory for Kim!

Dong-Hyun Kim def. Erick Silva via KO, 3:01 Round Two

Main event time!

Demian Maia vs. Jake Shields

Round One: No glove touch here, as Shields opens up with some leg kicks. Maia shoots for a takedown, and now has Shields against the cage looking for the takedown. He eventually gets it, and is in Shields’ guard. Maia looks to transition, but Shields’ butterfly guard is strong, and is controlling Maia’s hips well. Shields gets to his feet, and works for a takedown of his own now. Maia reverses, and lands another takedown. Shields gets up, but gives Maia his back in the process. Shields escapes, and gets Maia down. Maia has shields in his half guard, and gains full guard as Shields attempts to pass to side control. Shields attempts to pass guard, but Maia isn’t having it. Shields throws a few punches now, as Maia is now throwing punches from the bottom. The round ends with Shields in Maia’s guard.

Round Two: Shields opens the round with a few kicks, and then shoots for a takedown. Maia stuffs it, and looks for a takedown of his own now. Shields counters that takedown, and is in Maia’s half guard against the cage. Maia has full guard now. Shields is working for elbows, as Maia looks for a way back to his feet. Shields is back in Maia’s half guard, as Maia looks for a triangle. Shields avoids it, as Maia uses the butterfly guard to try to get a little space. Shields is content to control space – not exactly a bad strategy when you’re grappling against a guy like Maia. To Maia’s credit, he’s been looking for submissions and passes for the entire round, as this one comes to an end.

Round Three: Shields with another leg kick, and throws a head kick as well. Maia with a straight left, and misses with another one. Body shot Maia. Big left from Maia, as Shields decides he’s done pretending to be a kickboxer and shoots for a takedown. Maia reverses it, and now has Shields against the cage. Shields counters the takedown nicely, and now they’re back on the feet. Maia rocks Shields, and has Shields’ back. He gets the takedown, and has Shields’ back. AWESOME reversal from Shields, and he’s in Maia’s guard. Both guys are punching each other from Maia’s guard, as Shields now passes to Maia’s half-guiard. Maia throwing some ineffective punches from the bottom, as Shields begins to throw a few hammerfists. Shields throws a few elbows, as this round comes to an end.

Round Four: They feel each other out, and Shields rushes in for a double-leg takedown. Shields has Maia against the cage, but Maia reverses, and throws a knee against the cage. Shields reverses position now, and the ref has seen enough. He separates them, and Shields immediately shoots for a single leg. He’s unable to get it, and looks frustrated. He shoots for another, and Maia stuffs it. Maia is in Shields’ guard, with just under two minutes to go. Maia with some body shots, and we’ve got yet another stand-up. Eh, I’ve seen more than enough sloppy kickboxing from Silva/Hamill, but it’s not the worst stand-up I’ve seen. Maia gets the better of the exchanges as this round comes to an end. Both guys look exhausted.

Round Five: It’s been a close fight, as Shields is working his jab early and often to start things off. Maia is throwing some heavy shots, but he’s coming up short with most of them. Shields shoots for a takedown, but Maia stuffs it. Shields with a kick. Shields shoots for another takedown, but Maia stays on his feet. Maia now has Shields against the cage, but Shields escapes, and we’re treated to more grapplers impersonating kickboxers. Delightful. Maia lands a nice left hand, and Shields lands a kick. Shields shoots for another takedown, but Maia sprawls. Shields has Maia against the cage, but Maia works for a standing kimura. The ref separates them with less than thirty seconds to go. Maia is swinging for the fences, but Shields manages to survive until the end of the fight.

Tough call on who won this one…

The official decision is in: Jake Shields def. Demian Maia via split decision.

Eh, my parlay paid off, so I’m pretty excited. Interesting night of fights. We’ll have plenty to discuss tomorrow.

Ben vs. Seth: UFC Fight Night 29 Edition

You know how broken-down, piece-of-shit houses are often advertised as “handyman’s specials“? Well, tomorrow’s UFC Fight Night 29 event in Barueri is a “grappler’s wet dream,” headlined by two welterweights known for bringing it to the mat and keeping it there for AS LONG AS IT TAKES!!! (Just trying to stay positive here, guys.) Non-Baruerians can watch the action on FOX Sports 1, and we’ll be livebogging the main card starting at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT.

To keep you current on all the important themes surrounding “Maia vs. Shields,” it’s time for CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and staff writer Seth Falvo to engage in some spirited debate. So how will the main event play out? What’s the best way to make money off the fights? Which fighter on the card is talented enough to be a future Bellator tournament semi-finalist? And which funny GIF will show up at the end of this post? Read on, and please toss your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Demian Maia‘s main event fight against Jake Shields go any differently than his last win against Jon Fitch? And are you already sold on Maia as a future welterweight title contender?

BG: Not all boring grapplers are the same. There can be subtle differences between boring grapplers. Jon Fitch is a guy whose single-minded focus is to take you down and lay on you until the fight ends. Jake Shields will take you down and try to submit you first, and if that’s not working out, then he’ll lay on you until the fight ends.

Here’s another difference — Fitch seems to lose a couple belt-ranks when his opponent manages to scramble onto his back. (Maia and BJ Penn were both able to hang out in back control for long stretches against Fitch, who defended himself well against rear-naked chokes, but was otherwise stuck in position.) Shields tends to be a little more active on the mat than Fitch both offensively and defensively, and unlike Fitch, Jake Shields has never been submitted in his entire career.

I see two possible outcomes here: 1) Maia and Shields recognize each other’s grappling abilities, and proceed to put on the sloppiest, stupidest kickboxing match in recent UFC history. 2) Shields tries to play jiu-jitsu with Maia, and it doesn’t work out too well for him. Either way, I’ve got the Brazilian by decision. Now would that firmly establish Maia as a title threat? Maybe not. Keep in mind that all of Maia’s opponents during his UFC welterweight run have been wrestlers. Give him the winner of UFC 167’s Robbie Lawler vs. Rory MacDonald bout after this one, and we’ll see how he handles himself in the deep end of the pool, against guys with the power to turn him upside-down.

SF: Glad to see I’m not the only person around here who has drank more than enough of the Demian Maia Kool-Aid; I’m already sold on him as a legitimate contender. But are we seriously writing off Jake Shields this easily?

I’m not about to write that Jake Shields has great striking or anything, but for a one-dimensional grappler, his Muay Thai is better than it has any business being. Yeah, I know — that’s like writing that The Wrestling Boot Band weren’t that terrible or that Pepsi Jazz was sort-of drinkable — but I’m not ready to say the same thing about Maia. Point being, if this fight stays on the feet, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to see Jake Shields walk away victorious. And, who knows, Jake may even violate a CagePotato Ban and win by bringing back the old Jake Shields tomorrow night. Anything can happen in a cage fight, bro.

Looking at the gambling odds for this event, what’s the single smartest wager you could make?

Will Demian Maia‘s main event fight against Jake Shields go any differently than his last win against Jon Fitch? And are you already sold on Maia as a future welterweight title contender?

Looking at the gambling odds for this event, what’s the single smartest wager you could make?

BG: Smartest wager? Buddy, you’re talking to the wrong guy. I’m a sucker for ridiculous underdogs, and my lifetime success rate is currently hovering right above 0%. So before we get into “smart” bets, let me just point out that Dong Hyun Kim is a +220 underdog against Erick Silva, who is a strong favorite here because he’s handsome, I guess? Seriously, DHK wrestle-fuck all day.

Now, if you’re looking for a bet that’s fiscally sound but feels risky enough to give you that adrenaline rush of actual, degenerate gambling, I like to go with the old two-fight parlay: Pick two favorites who you feel comfortable with, and stack ‘em together. Give me TJ Dillashaw from the currently-unstoppable Team Alpha Male crew, who’s sitting at -225 against Raphael Assuncao, and the aforementioned Demian Maia, who’s listed around -270. A $10 parlay bet at BetUS returns $9.23 in profit if they both win — damn-near even money for a damn-near sure thing.

SF: What lovely, practical advice you’ve just given out, Ben. Now, if you’re done being intelligent and placing sensible bets, your majesty, I have a mortgage payment that I’d like to throw away on grown men punching each other.

Jake Shields is just underrated enough to be an attractive option at +210, so I’ll gladly be a total contrarian asshole and include him in my parlay, thank you very much. The other guy in my parlay? Allan freakin’ Patrick. I’ve never seen him fight before, but he’s undefeated, he’s Brazilian, and his opponent can best be described as “Some Guy, whatever, fuck you.” All of this makes him the perfect, yet incredibly rare combination of “totally safe bet” and “complete shot in the dark.” The $32.92 that my ten bucks would make off of this parlay certainly helps his case, too. Hell, something tells me that I’d have a crippling gambling addiction if I didn’t place my next few paychecks on this…

Which fighter is most likely to show up in Bellator after this event?

SF: My gut instinct is to take the easy route, pick Thiago Silva, and throw in a semi-related GIF at some point, as is tradition. I’m sure if I spent some time researching statistics or finding out if Facebook preliminaries are still a thing, I’d have a different opinion. But I didn’t earn the reputation of “talentless hack” by doing that stuff, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, so Thiago Silva it is

Silva is dangerously deep into Fitch/Okami territory. He’s talented enough to be a perennial “Top 10″ guy, but not enough to actually hold a belt — and he comes with a much heftier price tag than the other gatekeepers on the roster. Sure, his fan-friendly style would be an incentive to keep him around, if it weren’t for how disturbingly often the guy shoots himself in the foot (figuratively speaking [for now]). Another loss/failed drug test for Thiago Silva, and he may very well find himself under the bright lights of Viacom MMA.

BG: You’re assuming that Thiago Silva will lose to Matt Hamill, a guy with very little to offer in the year 2013, who unwisely came out of a very wise retirement and who hasn’t looked impressive since he KO’d Mark Munoz four and a half years ago. I say Silva wins that fight, so screw you.

Let’s be real: Fabio Maldonado vs. Joey Beltran will decide the unofficial winner of the Season Nine Bellator Light-Heavyweight Tournament. It’s perfect. They’re both sluggers with losing records in the UFC. You’ve heard of them, but you don’t particularly care about them. One of them is a disgraced steroid cheat. And Bellator’s light-heavyweight division is even shallower than the rest of their shallow divisions, so they could use the warm bodies.

Maldonado vs. Beltran is a classic matchup of a technical boxer vs. a let-me-bang-bro brawler, and I see “The Mexicutioner” losing a unanimous decision after being picked apart over three rounds. He will be fired by the UFC on Monday morning, and signed by Bellator on Wednesday. He will eventually be TKO’d by Attila Vegh, then test positive for steroids again and retire for three months before showing up in XARM. Hillary Clinton wins the 2016 presidential election, but it’s a close one. There’s a recount, and hostilities between the two major U.S. political parties grow even deeper and more overt. A civil war breaks out. The nuclear silos in Iowa self-destruct. Eventually, what’s left of the United States falls under the control of a shadowy dictator known only as “The Beekeeper.” Dana White dies peacefully in his sleep at the age of 112.

Thiago Silva vs. Matt Hamill…is this matchup depressing to anybody else, or is it just me?

SF: That GIF I owe you guys? Yeah, I figured I’d sit on it until I was asked a question that made me feel completely empty inside. So, you know…

BG: Basically, we’ve got a stoner and a deaf retiree trying to beat the shit out of each other in front of a bunch of unwashed foreigners. I know it sounds like the premise of a new Seth MacFarlane sitcom, but this is an actual UFC main card fight. Play us off, Morgan…

Fabio Maldonado Receives Sizable Bonus Check for Getting Beat Up at UFC 153

Geez, these XARM events have been getting weird…

It can be argued that no losing fighter has ever deserved one of UFC’s famous locker-room bonus checks than Fabio Maldonado after his downright terrifying loss to Glover Teixeira at UFC 153.

If this was professional wrestling, we’d say this was the fight that got Glover “over” in the UFC. The brutal asskicking that Teixeira dished out transitioned him from MMA’s best-kept secret to a legitimate light-heavyweight contender, causing fans throughout the world to say “Huh, so that’s what a 10-7 round looks like.”

Yet Fabio Maldonado kept fighting back, almost pulling off one of the most insane comebacks in UFC history as he rocked Teixeira near the end of the first round. Maldonado kept coming back for more until the cageside doctor put an end to the fight after the second round. I’m not going to write something cheesy like “it was a moral victory for Fabio Maldonado,” but I would understand why a person would.

The beating that Fabio Maldonado took wasn’t for nothing – at least not financially. Maldonado revealed on his Facebook page that he recently received one of the UFC’s famed locker-room bonus checks, and it was worth more money than his win bonus would have been. Via MMAWeekly:

Geez, these XARM events have been getting weird…

It can be argued that no losing fighter has ever deserved one of UFC’s famous locker-room bonus checks than Fabio Maldonado after his downright terrifying loss to Glover Teixeira at UFC 153.

“Just got a check from the UFC,” he commented in Portuguese, noting it was the fourth time he received a bonus [Author Note: That makes him 4/4 for receiving bonus checks, for those of you keeping score]. “The UFC paid me more than if I had won the fight. Thanks to the Fertitta brothers, Dana White and Joe Silva.”

The money UFC fighters make is also often compared to the headline inducing paydays in the boxing world. White often explains that what people are comparing is apples to oranges, as they’re looking at the miniscule amount of boxers at the top of the heap pulling in tremendous paydays, while those at the bottom are sometimes fighting for $50 or $100 a round.

Maldonado, who fought for years in as a professional boxer (with a 22-0 record), sounds as if he agrees, at least to some degree.

“Fought boxing, never seen it happen before,” he said of the bonus he received, even in a losing effort.

Keep in mind that Fabio Maldonado made $11,000 to show at UFC 153, meaning that the bonus check he just received was almost assuredly worth more than that. That’s pretty generous, and definitely well-deserved. When a fighter is willing to take the long-term brain damage that accompanies a beating like the one Maldonado took for the sake of putting on a memorable fight, he deserves special compensation.

Just try not to take too many more beatings like that, Fabio. It’s not exactly good for your long-term health.

@SethFalvo

Photos of the Day: The Nogueira’s and Anderson Silva Visit Fabio Maldonado in the Hospital

(“You got punched where? And by who? I’m not sure I understand.”)

If anything, UFC 153 provided us with several entertaining moments to confirm what we already knew, or at least hoped, to be true:

1. This Anderson Silva guy is for real.
2. This Glover Texmexamerica guy is also for real. Look out Page.
3. Jon Fitch is in fact capable of entertaining a crowd. (fight it….fight it…)
4. This Jiu Jitsu stuff works.
5. Fabio Maldanado is the closest thing to a zombie this earth may ever witness.

That last lesson came at a price that Maldanado will likely pay down the line in terms of brain function, but who needs brains when you have to special order your underwear to hold your massive balls? And if there’s any country out there that appreciates as gritty a performance as Maldonado gave on Saturday, it’s Brazil. And while they rallied around fellow Brazilian Glover Teixeira’s solid performance against Maldonado, they were quick to support their fallen comrade as well.

So in an effort to support Maldonado’s incredible display of heart, fellow UFC 153 participants/Brazilians Anderson Silva and Antonio Nogueira (along with Lil Nog) paid Maldonado a visit in the hospital. Tears were spilled, laughs were shared, and we’re pretty sure at least one of them fired up the grill, so check out the pair of photos and let us know who you’d like to see Maldonado fight next now that his UFC future is safe for the moment.

(“You got punched where? And by who? I’m not sure I understand.”)

If anything, UFC 153 provided us with several entertaining moments to confirm what we already knew, or at least hoped, to be true:

–J. Jones