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‘Punch Buddies’ Melvin Guillard Photoshop Contest: The Winners!

(You don’t *have* to cover your face when you wear this shirt in public — but it couldn’t hurt. Props: Punch Buddies)

After Tuesday’s pep-talk, I’m happy to report that you guys got your acts together and started to produce quality work. So after sifting through the most recent wave of submissions for our Punch Buddies photoshop contest, we’ve chosen five runners-up, as well as two winners who will score “Young Assassin” t-shirts. Check out the Melvin Gulllard-themed brilliance after the jump.

(You don’t *have* to cover your face when you wear this shirt in public — but it couldn’t hurt. Props: Punch Buddies)

Runners-Up

(Brian R.)

(Atom)

(Brandon J.)

(steampunk22; hey, who’s that hottie in the background?)

(Pablo F.)

The Big Winners

(William W.)

(Avelino G.)

William and Avelino, please send your names, sizes, and addresses to [email protected] and we’ll get you hooked up ASAP. Thanks to everyone who entered, and keep your eye on Punch Buddies!

Jake-Off: Shields vs. Ellenberger Reported for This Fall

(Unfortunately, Ellenberger was fined 10% of his purse for drawing a bunch of dicks on Sean Pierson’s face after he was passed out. Photo courtesy of ESPN)

According to a new report from MMAFighting, UFC welterweight contenders Jake Shields and Jake Ellenberger have agreed to face each other this fall (event TBA). Shields is coming off his unsuccessful title bid against Georges St. Pierre in April — which snapped a 15-fight win streak — while the surging Ellenberger has scored wins in his last four Octagon appearances, including knockouts of Mike Pyle, John Howard, and Sean Pierson.

As you may recall, Ellenberger has been openly campaigning for this matchup ever since Shields’s underwhelming UFC debut against Martin Kampmann last October. Following that fight, Ellenberger harnessed his inner Chael Sonnen, tweeting “Jake Shields, you’re as exciting as watching a bowl of mash potatoes get cold…Your days are numbered…Jake Shields’ cardio won’t be a factor if he fights me next. I won’t keep him around long enough to get tired.”

(Unfortunately, Ellenberger was fined 10% of his purse for drawing a bunch of dicks on Sean Pierson’s face after he was passed out. Photo courtesy of ESPN)

Ellenberger was similarly unimpressed after UFC 129, saying “If they do make that match and me and Jake get to fight, he’s not a hard guy to figure out. I feel like I can beat him right now.”

Ellenberger certainly doesn’t lack confidence, and a win here would launch him into the title mix at welterweight. Meanwhile, Shields will need a strong performance to prove he was ever worth the hype in the first place. Any early predictions? We don’t have anything else to add about this story right now, so instead, we’ll just post this recent photo of Jason Miller that Ellenberger tweeted last week. Looking good, Mayhem.

Photos: In His Youth, Dana White Was Fond of Novelty Sunglasses, Prince Valiant Haircuts

Props to TheGarv for digging up these ’70s/’80s-era photos of UFC president Dana White. Obviously the money shot is that pic in the top right, in which a young DW does his best to smile through the pain of a Prince Valiant haircut and some obvious facial trauma. “Damn you, hair,” we imagine Young Dana saying. “I wish you would disappear…forever!” And now you know the rest of the story.

Previously: Even as a Baby, Brock Lesnar Would Swallow You Without Chewing

Trash Talkin’ Kids T-Shirt Design Contest: Voting Begins Now!

(The “Ace”: Coming soon from Trash Talkin’ Kids.)

Thanks so much to everybody who sent in submissions for last week’s Trash Talkin’ Kids t-shirt design contest. We were overwhelmed by the number — and sheer stupidity! — of your designs, and we honestly had a blast going through them. With the help of our friends at Trash Talkin’ Kids, we picked out eight finalists based on humor, creativity, and effort. To see all of the submissions, head over to facebook.com/trashtalkinkids, where they’ve uploaded the finalists plus a bunch more entries that didn’t quite make the cut.

And now we need your votes to make this thing official. Please check out the Elite 8 after the jump, and vote for your favorite in the poll at the bottom of the page. The two highest-voted designs will both be receiving actual TTK shirts. Winners will be announced Thursday. Aaaaaand go!

(The “Ace”: Coming soon from Trash Talkin’ Kids.)

(Jay L.)

(Gavin M.)

(Justin K.)

(Steve T.)

(David G.)

(Michael P.)

(RWilsonR)

(Chris C.)

MMA Photo Tribute: Fighters and Random-Ass Celebrities

(Chuck Liddell poses with ‘Taboo’, co-host of Our Time.)

We have no idea how most of these encounters came about — but we’re sure they were all fairly awkward. Here are 21 of our favorite photos of MMA fighters rubbing shoulders with reality show stars, B-list actors, and aging rock royalty. Ah, the perks of fame…

(Cain Velasquez: The meat in a douche sandwich.)

(Chuck Liddell poses with ‘Taboo’, co-host of Our Time.)

(Cain Velasquez: The meat in a douche sandwich.)

(“…so then I snuck into Paul Walker’s trailer, put my balls on his forehead, and took a picture of it! You should have seen his face! Hahahaha! With my balls on it! Oh man!”)

(Rosie O’Donnell and her adopted son Urijah.)

(Tito Ortiz with Donnie Wahlberg, former New Kid on the Block and current brother of the guy who produces Entourage.)

(“Ay dawg, lemme use ‘Honky Cat‘ for my next walkout song.”)

(“Sure lady, I’ll sign your ti–HOLY FUCK YOU’RE CINDY CRAWFORD.”)

(“And I guess at that moment I realized that perhaps it was me that had the nasty ass stank breff the whole time.”)

(Verne Troyer actually trains jiu-jitsu. His grappling dummy is a Teddy Ruxpin.)

(Carlos Santana still needs a lot of work on that fist-pose.)

(Rashad Evans with Ice-T and his freaky wife Coco.)

(“That’s right, baby, a starring role in the next Steven Soderbergh flick. Now come on, you can trust Uncle Mickey.”)

(Jon Jones shares war stories with 50 Cent, chokes out Jay Leno.)

(Dan Hardy steals some metal essence from Pantera’s Vinnie Paul.)

(Nothing impresses LL Cool J more than a giant watch.)

(Roger Huerta and Laura Prepon, in happier times.)

(Rampage, please just read the teleprompter.)

(Forrest Griffin with Ton Jones of ‘Auction Hunters’. Now *that’s* random…)

(Fedor Emelianenko, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and their dates.)

MMA Photo Tribute: Dana White’s Incredible T-Shirt Collection

(“Wait, you’re giving this to me for *free*? My goodness, I’ve stumbled onto the perfect crime!”)

Much like myself, Dana White pretty much lives in t-shirts. It’s his trademark, like Don King’s hair, or Mark Pavelich’s eyebrows. The difference is, DW usually gets paid to wear his t-shirts. Like I said last week, Dana’s torso is the best viral advertising platform on basic cable. So, in honor of our unhealthy fascination with this man, here are 24 noteworthy Dana-in-a-t-shirt photos, along with some brief analysis.

(Wearing a t-shirt that references a local sports team is one of the easiest ways to be liked by strangers. In the pro-wrestling world, they refer to this sort of thing as a “cheap pop.”)

(“Wait, you’re giving this to me for *free*? My goodness, I’ve stumbled onto the perfect crime!”)

(Wearing a t-shirt that references a local sports team is one of the easiest ways to be liked by strangers. In the pro-wrestling world, they refer to this sort of thing as a “cheap pop.”)

(…or, you can just wear a shirt that references how dangerous a city is.)

(Often credited as a pioneer of mixed martial arts, Bruce Lee is a personal hero of Dana’s. Both of these shirts are available at brucelee.com)

(Dana often likes to remind us that he doesn’t listen to pussy-ass music; he likes the good stuff. But come on, we all have our guilty pleasures. DW’s gotta have at least one Bieber shirt hiding in the closet.)

(You can take the boy out of boxing, but you can’t take boxing out of the boy.)

(Dickhouse is the production company behind the Jackass series. At the time this photo was taken, the first trailer for ‘Jackass 3.5‘ had just come out; Jackass 3D would be released on DVD a month later.)