Tag: Funny Shit

Trash Talkin Kid: Sonnen’s Smack Light Years Ahead of Everyone


Who writes these?  Because we may have a job for him.

Whether you think he’s the most entertaining character in MMA right now, or you think he’s the boldest sort of hypocritical cheater, you kind of have to admit that no one — no one — can touch Chael Sonnen for smack talk. There seem to be no rhyme or reason to his endless stream of one-liners, and there’s no telling who he’ll target on any given day.

Who writes these?  Because we may have a job for him.

Whether you think he’s the most entertaining character in MMA right now, or you think he’s the boldest sort of hypocritical cheater, you kind of have to admit that no one — no one — can touch Chael Sonnen for smack talk. There seem to be no rhyme or reason to his endless stream of one-liners, and there’s no telling who he’ll target on any given day.

Sonnen famously used Twitter to trash Anderson Silva in the lead-up to their fight last August, and Anderson (or “Andy”, as Sonnen likes to call him) has remained a favorite whipping boy ever since. Aside from Silva, Sonnen has gone to Twitter to shit talk Michael Bisping, Jason Miller, Wanderlei Silva, Vitor Belfort, Georges St. Pierre and the entire city of Toronto, the Nogueira brothers, The Hangover 2, The Bachelor, Mirko CroCop, Lyoto Machida… seriously, this guy is a never-ending fountain of the kind of talk that will get you curb-stomped outside of a Waffle House, then possibly urinated on.

In all honesty, we kinda wonder where he gets his material.   Tweeting that many one-liners in itself is rather impressive, considering pretty much any one of these would be considered a burn of the burningest magnitude from another fighter.   For Uncle Chael, it’s just another day at the keyboard.   If he never manages to get licensed, he could probably make a decent living running an irreverent MMA site.

Actually, scratch that idea. But he could definitely be a Twitter consultant.

So we’ll leave you with this collection of Tweets, with one more point: this is his output in six days. If you know someone that can do this any better, let us know…because we want to follow him.

[RX]

No, It’s Not April Fool’s: Former WWE Wrestler To Open MMA Gym With Cesar Gracie

By Jason Moles

Man, they sure are lowering the bar these days. According to TMZ, Dave Bautista (aka former WWE professional wrestler “Batista“) and renowned MMA trainer Cesar Gracie have created a new tag team, and will be opening a Gracie Fighter Jiu Jitsu franchise in Tampa. Though the gym is currently only open to “close martial artist friends,” it will be opened to the public next week; you can see a couple photos of the joint here.

The last we heard about Bautista’s MMA career is that it was dead thanks to the UFC acquiring Strikeforce. I’m not sure if I’m more surprised that Bautista can’t stop pretending he’s a real fighter or that Cesar is whoring out the Gracie family name like that. I hope his cousin Renzo gives him a good talking to about this whole ordeal.

By Jason Moles

Man, they sure are lowering the bar these days. According to TMZ, Dave Bautista (aka former WWE professional wrestler “Batista“) and renowned MMA trainer Cesar Gracie have created a new tag team, and will be opening a Gracie Fighter Jiu Jitsu franchise in Tampa. Though the gym is currently only open to “close martial artist friends,” it will be opened to the public next week; you can see a couple photos of the joint here.

The last we heard about Bautista’s MMA career is that it was dead thanks to the UFC acquiring Strikeforce. I’m not sure if I’m more surprised that Bautista can’t stop pretending he’s a real fighter or that Cesar is whoring out the Gracie family name like that. I hope his cousin Renzo gives him a good talking to about this whole ordeal.

We can only imagine what a normal training day is like at Batista Top Team. Let’s see here, we’ve got jiu jitsu for dummies followed by tire-flipping. After that you have your choice of “Juice” 101, How to Sell a Punch, or 10 Steps to a Meaner Mug. You’ve got your work cut out for you, Ron Kruck.

This seems more like a publicity stunt than anything — or maybe it’s Bautista’s attempt to convince Dana White that he’s not a fake-fighter after all. What’s your take?

Quick Hit of the Day: Marcelo Garcia Reveals the Source of His Knowledge

Joe Rogan *may* have uploaded this. VidProps: YouTube Person

Marcelo Garcia took gold in the 82kg Middleweight division this past weekend at the BJJ Worlds (and we’ll probably mention this esoteric tournament again, with its bizarre rules against hammerfists, soccer kicks, and striking in general). It was Garcia’s fifth gold at the Mundials, putting him on a very short list of grappling legends.

So where did Marcelinho learn his deadly moves? Check out CagePotato’s Quick Hit of the Day for the answer. But we bet you already know.

[RX]


Joe Rogan *may* have uploaded this. VidProps: YouTube Person

Marcelo Garcia took gold in the 82kg Middleweight division this past weekend at the BJJ Worlds (and we’ll probably mention this esoteric tournament again, with its bizarre rules against hammerfists, soccer kicks, and striking in general). It was Garcia’s fifth gold at the Mundials, putting him on a very short list of grappling legends.

So where did Marcelinho learn his deadly moves? Check out CagePotato’s Quick Hit of the Day for the answer.

But we bet you already know.

[RX]

Behold: Keyboard Warriors #1

Potato Nation, sometimes it’s hard to entertain you. Frankly, there are some weeks we hope that War Machine stabs a dude during pre-release just because there’s no real news. There’s only so many ridiculous KO videos to go around, you know?

That is not, however, the reason you’ll find us posting an entertainment piece that is (mostly) fiction. Nope, that’s got nothing to do with it.

Truth is, one of you suggested we try our hand at an MMA version of “The Dugout” over on WithLeather. If you dig sports in general, chances are you’ve seen some of their work. If not, allow us to turn you on.

Long story short, we reached out to Brandon Stroud over there, and offered to exchange links if he would let us play with his toys. He’s a cool guy, so we went to work. Check out WithLeather, play nice, and, if you’re interested, come on in for the first mega-sized edition of CagePotato’s new exclusive feature: Keyboard Warriors.

Special thanks to Brandon and justchris/lenny/something. Enjoy!

[RX]

Potato Nation, sometimes it’s hard to entertain you.  Frankly, there are some weeks we hope that War Machine stabs a dude during pre-release just because there’s no real news.  There’s only so many ridiculous KO videos to go around, you know?

That is not, however, the reason you’ll find us posting an entertainment piece that is (mostly) fiction. Nope, that’s got nothing to do with it.

Truth is, one of you suggested we try our hand at an MMA version of “The Dugout” over on WithLeather.  If you dig sports in general, chances are you’ve seen some of their work.  If not, allow us to turn you on.

Long story short, we reached out to Brandon Stroud over there, and offered to exchange links if he would let us play with his toys.  He’s a cool guy, so we went to work.  Check out WithLeather, play nice, and, if you’re interested, come on in for the first mega-sized edition of CagePotato’s new exclusive feature:  Keyboard Warriors.

Special thanks to Brandon and justchris/lenny/something.  Enjoy!

[RX]

Sonnen Responds to Silva’s ‘Loser’ Comment and Gives His Thoughts On Bisping and Miller as TUF 14 Coaches


(“Your perfume is making me feel nauseous.”)

The beauty of social networking tools like Facebook and Twitter for fighters is that they can get whatever message they want across however they want it written. Of course there’s also an ugly side to that reality. Just ask anyone who subscribes to Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson’s Twitter feeds.

Chael Sonnen is one of the fighters who embraces the ADHD-friendly 140 character limit messaging service as it gives him a platform from which to aim punchline-heavy zingers at whomever he wants without having to deal with annoying follow-up questions from reporters.

Sonnen, who was noticeably absent from the Twitterverse while his court and athletic commission issues were being ironed, is once again an active tweeter and has been taking aim at a few fellow UFC middleweights the past few days.


(“Your perfume is making me feel nauseous.”)

The beauty of social networking tools like Facebook and Twitter for fighters is that they can get whatever message they want across however they want it written. Of course there’s also an ugly side to that reality. Just ask anyone who subscribes to Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson’s Twitter feeds.

Chael Sonnen is one of the fighters who embraces the ADHD-friendly 140 character limit messaging service as it gives him a platform from which to aim punchline-heavy zingers at whomever he wants without having to deal with annoying follow-up questions from reporters.

Sonnen, who was noticeably absent from the Twitterverse while his court and athletic commission issues were being ironed, is once again an active tweeter and has been taking aim at a few fellow UFC middleweights the past few days.

First, the former Oregon real estate agent set his sites on The Ultimate Fighter 14 coaches Michael Bisping and his ex-Team Quest teammate Jason Miller (who replaced Sonnen on the show after the Nevada State Athletic Commission refused to grant him a second’s license due to his suspension in California for unapproved testosterone replacement use).

It’s likely that he’s looking to face the winner of the two who takes their planned December bout, so the PR move makes sense.

Then Chael responded to Anderson Silva’s recent comments to Tatame that his upcoming opponent Yushin Okami shouldn’t train for their fight with a “loser” like Sonnen.

If pulling out a triangle when down four rounds to none and knocking out an apt contender with a highlight reel front-kick KO isn’t putting up a fight, I don’t know what is. Then again, he was a politician and denial is one of their inherent qualities.

Wacky UFC 130 Photo of the Day: Johnson & Struve

How does it seem like they could exchange outfits and still not look one bit weird?

Shout out to CagePotato blood brothers Heavy.com and Jeremy Botter, who snapped this shot of 5’3″ Demetrious “Might Mouse” Johnson and 6’11” Stefan “Skyscraper” Struve brohugging in the lead up for UFC 130.

When Hollywood inevitably decides to reboot the Mad Max franchise — and you know that those sons of whores in Hollywood will do it, sooner or later — these two would hold down the part of Master Blaster. Beyonce will be Aunty Entity, of course, and Mad Max will be played by Mel Gibson.  As soon as Miley Cyrus has a kid, it will be penciled in as the feral child.

Oh shit, we just totally gave them an idea, didn’t we?

[RX]

How does it seem like they could exchange outfits and still not look one bit weird?

Shout out to CagePotato blood brothers Heavy.com and Jeremy Botter James Law, who snapped this shot of 5’3″ Demetrious “Might Mouse” Johnson and 6’11” Stefan “Skyscraper” Struve brohugging in the lead up for UFC 130.

When Hollywood inevitably decides to reboot the Mad Max franchise — and you know that those sons of whores in Hollywood will do it, sooner or later — these two would hold down the part of Master Blaster. Beyonce will be Aunty Entity, of course, and Mad Max will be played by Mel Gibson.  As soon as Miley Cyrus has a kid, it will be penciled in as the feral child.

Oh shit, we just totally gave them an idea, didn’t we?

[RX]