Tag: Glover Teixeira

UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar Aftermath: Living in the Matrix


Props: mmafanmade.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

If there’s a word that sums up UFC 153, it’s got to be “wow”. Anderson Silva gave another performance indicating that we do indeed live in the Matrix. Jon Fitch was in the most exciting fight of the night, and one of the best of the year. Big Nog submitted a man impervious to jiu-jitsu. Demian Maia choked/neck-cranked a man so hard he had a mini-hemorrhage and blood spurted out of his nose. And perhaps most impressive of all, Wagner Prado actually stopped a hat thief.

The bottom line is UFC 153 was an amazing card that delivered from top to bottom. Could it have been better if it had Frankie Edgar square off against Jose Aldo? Probably. But I’ll take another transcendental show from Anderson Silva any day of the week. And that’s exactly what his fight with Stephan Bonnar was. After a slip, Bonnar pressed Silva into the cage, presumably looking to wear the smaller fighter down. Silva wasn’t having any of it, offering a few knees, shoulder shrugs and nothing else. Bonnar backed away and then things got weird. Silva remained on the fence, hands down, encouraging Bonnar to hit him.

Now, I know Stephan Bonnar isn’t the world’s greatest striker. He’s never shown serious knockout power, and his technique has never been the best. But he’s still a 230 pound man who’s spent the majority of his adult life learning how to hurt people. He’s a professional fighter. And for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds last night, those facts didn’t amount to jack shit. Silva dodged, deflected or simply absorbed Bonnar’s offense for about two minutes, demonstrating what a black belt in Tae Kwon Do is worth against a man who seems to know what you’re going to do before you do. Then, Silva decided to end the fight. He tripped Bonnar, established some separation, and then connected with a debilitating, pin-point knee to the solar plexus. Bonnar – who had never been stopped with strikes before – collapsed and waited for the end to come. Mercifully, it did.


Props: mmafanmade.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

If there’s a word that sums up UFC 153, it’s got to be “wow”. Anderson Silva gave another performance indicating that we do indeed live in the Matrix. Jon Fitch was in the most exciting fight of the night, and one of the best of the year. Big Nog submitted a man impervious to jiu-jitsu. Demian Maia choked/neck-cranked a man so hard he had a mini-hemorrhage and blood spurted out of his nose. And perhaps most impressive of all, Wagner Prado actually stopped a hat thief.

The bottom line is UFC 153 was an amazing card that delivered from top to bottom. Could it have been better if it had Frankie Edgar square off against Jose Aldo? Probably. But I’ll take another transcendental show from Anderson Silva any day of the week. And that’s exactly what his fight with Stephan Bonnar was. After a slip, Bonnar pressed Silva into the cage, presumably looking to wear the smaller fighter down. Silva wasn’t having any of it, offering a few knees, shoulder shrugs and nothing else. Bonnar backed away and then things got weird. Silva remained on the fence, hands down, encouraging Bonnar to hit him.

Now, I know Stephan Bonnar isn’t the world’s greatest striker. He’s never shown serious knockout power, and his technique has never been the best. But he’s still a 230 pound man who’s spent the majority of his adult life learning how to hurt people. He’s a professional fighter. And for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds last night, those facts didn’t amount to jack shit. Silva dodged, deflected or simply absorbed Bonnar’s offense for about two minutes, demonstrating what a black belt in Tae Kwon Do is worth against a man who seems to know what you’re going to do before you do. Then, Silva decided to end the fight. He tripped Bonnar, established some separation, and then connected with a debilitating, pin-point knee to the solar plexus. Bonnar – who had never been stopped with strikes before – collapsed and waited for the end to come. Mercifully, it did.

Plenty of people are clamoring for Silva to fight Jon Jones now. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be intrigued, but until both of them want to fight, it seems silly to speculate. Besides, Silva’s fights with people he considers his friends don’t seem to be the entertaining variety. (Even if said “friends” actually dispute their friendship.) Personally, though, I’d like to see him fight Chris Weidman. GSP is, in my opinion, too small for Silva, and is coming off ACL surgery anyway. Michael Bisping wouldn’t last a round. Weidman has the wrestling to make things interesting, and the standup to, at least, survive on the feet for a time. He’s earned his shot; give it to him. Bonnar, on the other hand, was already contemplating retirement. Perhaps it’s best he follow through on that. He’s accomplished all he’s going to in the sport, and he can look forward to a cozy, Chuck Liddell-esque position within the UFC.

In the co-main event… actually, I’m putting that on hold for the moment. Because we have to talk about the Jon Fitch-Erick Silva fight. It was probably the most anticipated fight on the card, which is odd for a Fitch fight. But it delivered in spades. I’ve never got the hate for Jon Fitch that so many fans seem to harbor – yeah, he’s not the most exciting fighter, but the fact that people criticize a guy for fighting to his strengths instead of fighting for their personal entertainment is simply irrational. But you couldn’t levy those criticisms at him this fight – Fitch turned his grinding style up to 11 and brought the fight to Silva. The first round was closely contested, but in Fitch’s favor. The second Silva actually won, largely through securing back control and sinking in a rear naked choke that would have submitted anyone not named Jon Fitch. In all honesty, I still have no clue how Fitch survived, but he did. And he made Silva pay in the third, getting dominant positions, including mount, and unloading with punches for virtually the entire round. (A round which should have been scored 10-8 and which, predictably, no judge scored 10-8.)

Fitch broke Erick Silva. There’s no other way to describe it. That doesn’t mean Silva won’t recover, however. He’s still extraordinarily talented, and Jon Fitch is still one of the best fighters in the division. It was a big step up in competition, and for the first two rounds, he held his own. But sometimes, that’s the difference between good and great. Silva will work on his game and comeback stronger. As for Fitch, perhaps he’s got one more run left in him. This fight certainly indicated he does.

OK, now we’ll get to the co-main event. Basically, you don’t want to fight Big Nog in Brazil. And if you do, you don’t want to be Dave Herman. I’m not sure who came up with Herman’s game plan of “get punched in the face repeatedly and exchange takedowns with one of the most dangerous jiu-jitsu artists in the division,” but damn if Herman didn’t follow it to perfection. He spent the entire first round doing exactly that, getting hit flush in the face on numerous occasions. (This fight, if anything, did not lend any credibility to Brandon Schaub’s already suspect chin.) Why Herman, who possessed a distinct reach advantage, decided not to jab at all is a mystery to me.

It cost him in the second, where Nog was able to floor him with a left hook, achieved mount, and eventually secured a fight-ending armbar over the man who claimed that “jiu-jitsu doesn’t work.” As it turns out, it does, and it probably just handed Herman his walking papers after his third straight loss. Nogueira, on the other hand, wants a top-10 fighter. Give him Stefan Struve, Antonio Silva or Fabricio Werdum, and let the remaining two fight each other as well.

Glover Teixeira lived up to the hype. He tagged Fabio Maldonado early on, took him down, and did his best Donkey Kong imitation for the next four minutes. But Maldonado is made of something tougher than ordinary human beings. He somehow survived, stood, wobbled and then proceeded to tag a fatigued Teixeira with a left hook that wobbled him. But he was unable to capitalize, and was subjected to more of the same over the next round. Finally, the ringside doctor called for the stoppage in between the second and third rounds. Maldonado protested, but it was the right call. He won’t be cut simply because of how tough he was, but it’s unclear where he should go from here. Teixeira, however, needs to fight a big name at 205. Phil Davis or Shogun should fit the bill, if Lyoto Machida and Dan Henderson fight as intended.

There isn’t much to say about the Wagner Prado-Phil Davis fight, other than that Wagner Prado did this, a feat unequaled in UFC history. Unfortunately for Prado, stopping the notorious Brazilian hat-thieves was his only accomplishment of the night, and he was dominated by Davis for their entire fight. The end came in the second, as Davis transitioned from an arm-triangle into a front headlock and then an anaconda choke, forcing Prado to submit. Prado was visibly upset afterwards. He’ll probably get another shot in the UFC; there’s no shame in being out-grappled by Phil Davis. I’d say Davis should take on Ryan Bader next, but winners get winners, so give him Shogun or Teixeira instead.

Finally, Demian Maia’s turning into a force at 170. I’m not surprised he beat Rick Story, but I’m surprised how easily he took him down and kept him down. Once Story was on the ground, it was only a matter of time. Maia took his back and sunk in an absolutely brutal RNC/neck crank, which caused blood to erupt from Story’s nose and mouth. Maia’s much stronger at 170 than he was at 185. If only Jake Shields hadn’t tested positive for something, that would have been the match-up to make. Since he has… hell, give him Jon Fitch. That should be interesting.

Maia took home submission of the night, while Fitch and Silva took home fight of the night. Knockout of the Night went to Rony Jason’s second round TKO over Sam Sicilia. Anderson Silva probably deserved the award, but he’s made enough money as it is. I doubt he minds the decision. Other brief thoughts; Fernando Yamasaki is a terrible referee. Madadi should’ve won his fight. The referee should have probably taken a point from Wagner Prado for holding the fence, but I understand his desire to leave Brazil with all his limbs intact. The chick who had “Erick Silva” tattooed on her forearm is probably rethinking her decision, and many of her life’s decisions, right about now.

Main Card Results

Anderson Silva def. Stephan Bonnar via TKO (4:40, Round 2)
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira def. Dave Herman via SUB (4:31, Round 2)
Glover Teixeira def. Fabio Maldonado via TKO (Doctor’s Stoppage, Round 2)
Jon Fitch def. Erick Silva via UD (30-27, 29-28 x 2)
Phil Davis def. Wagner Prado via SUB (4:29, Round 2)
Demian Maia def. Rick Story via SUB (2:30, Round 1)

Preliminary Card Results

Rony Jason def. Sam Sicilia via TKO (4:16, Round 2)
Gleison Tibau def. Francisco Trinaldo via UD (29-28 x 3)
Diego Brandao def. Joey Gambino via UD (30-27 x 3)
Sergio Moraes def. Renee Forte via SUB (3:10, Round 3)
Chris Camozzi def. Luiz Cane via UD (29-28 x 3)
Christiano Marcello def. Reza Madadi via SD (30-27, 29-28, 28-29)

UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar — Live Results and Commentary


(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The matchup between UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight non-champion Stephan Bonnar has been called everything from a “fun fight,” to a mother’s worst nightmare. Tonight at the HSBC Center in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, we’re going to find out what this weird freak show will actually look like. Our only prediction is that Griffin Bonnar‘s first image of his father will be a bruised and lumpy one.

Luckily, there are plenty of far-more-legitimate matches on the UFC 153 main card, including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Dave Herman, Erick Silva vs. Jon Fitch, and Glover Teixiera vs. Fabio Maldonado. And as with previous shows in Brazil, the local fans will make sure that the show is just as entertaining outside of the cage.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 153 pay-per-view broadcast will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and be sure to tell us how you feel in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by.


(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The matchup between UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight non-champion Stephan Bonnar has been called everything from a “fun fight,” to a mother’s worst nightmare. Tonight at the HSBC Center in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, we’re going to find out what this weird freak show will actually look like. Our only prediction is that Griffin Bonnar‘s first image of his father will be a bruised and lumpy one.

Luckily, there are plenty of far-more-legitimate matches on the UFC 153 main card, including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Dave Herman, Erick Silva vs. Jon Fitch, and Glover Teixiera vs. Fabio Maldonado. And as with previous shows in Brazil, the local fans will make sure that the show is just as entertaining outside of the cage.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 153 pay-per-view broadcast will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and be sure to tell us how you feel in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by.

Sup, potato heads. Here we are for the third installment of Brazil vs. The World, and let’s be candid here, in MMA there are really only two countries that matter: Brazil and America, so “The World” is pretty much us. In the first two (UFC’s 134 and 142), Brazil not only came out victorious, but basically just bent us over and with utter malice, forcibly slid their uncut national schwanz in and out to the tune of 14 wins to only two defeats.

Brazil is a huge market for the UFC (e.g., they drew over 16,000 live for Wanderlei Silva vs Rich Franklin II, which was a suck ass card yet more than the 15,000 Vegas drew for Silva vs Sonnen II) and some of the unlubricated violation that took place at UFC’s 134 and 142 can be attributed to favorable match-making, but let that not diminish the fact that these dudes can whoop some ass, and this event seems poised to produce much the same result.

Yes, for years the Brazilians have been plotting an overthrow of America’s dominance over the sport. Currently they hold three of the UFC belts to America’s four (still considering GSP the true welterweight champion). Don’t think this shit don’t matter either. We’re talking about two of the world’s most fiercely nationalistic countries here.

We Americans like to think we’re the best at everything, even though all evidence points to a slow, steady decline that will likely produce long bread-lines and painful humility. Yet still, at the weigh-ins there were actually a few brave, yet suicidal fans in the arena doing the “USA, USA, USA” thing.

Brazil is an emerging country whose international flex is finally starting to catch up to its bloated self-image. And just about every Brazilian fighter comes into the cage wrapped in a green flag looking like the life sucking tree creatures from the Beast Master. It’s a largely unspoken rivalry, but I can assure you it matters to just about every participant on this card.

So, there’s more at stake here than simply wins and losses. There’s the conglomeration of future world dominion. With the traitorous assistance of Sensei Seagal, the Brazilians are a pubis hair away from forcing us to pronounce our R’s as H’s, and that’s when the shit is all over. Oh yeah, and you thought you were just watching some fuckin’ MMA tonight.

Speaking of, let’s get this started with the undercard action:

Chris Camozzi beat Luiz Cane by decision, 29-28 across the board. And we were informed after all this time that Cane is actually pronounced CAHNAY, not just Cane, so get that shit right. Regardless, after two losses in front of his countrymen, Cane may be forced into exile.

Cristiano Marcello beat Reza Madadi by split decision.

Sergio Moraes beat Renee Forte by rear naked choke at 3:10 of round three.

Diego Brandao beat Joey Gambino by unanimous decision, 30-27 across the board.

Gleison Tibau remains the most prolific undercard fighter on the UFC roster by beating Francisco Trinaldo by unanimous decision, 29-28 across the board.

Rony Jason beat down Sam Sicilia with hammer fists at 4:16 of round two.

Dana White and Joe Rogan desperately try to convince us that Silva vs Bonnar is a competitive fight so buy that shit.

Goldberg has the whitest bottom teeth ever, and Rogan’s shaved head is finally starting to look natural.

We kick off with Demain Maia vs Rick Story

While we’re on this fight, let’s discuss how awesome Rick Story’s nickname is. Look, not everyone has a name with the flow to come up with an awesome fucking moniker like Rick “Horror” Story, or Jason “Dooms” Day, but it should be noted that having a nickname just for the sake of having a nickname is retarded. It needs to be a good one. Not mentioning any names, ahem J-Lau, Magician, Filipino Wrecking Machine, et al.

That being said, a cool nickname isn’t going to help with Maia, who is gonna be tough to deal with at 170.

Buffer’s suave ass kicks some Portuguese.

Round 1: Story opens with a left hook. Maia has a leg, takes Story down. Uh oh. Story getting up, Maia trips him down again. Maia working to side control, Story back up. Maia takes his ass down again, and is mounted. Now he’s going for his back. He’s got it. Jesus this dude can grapple. And there it is, Maia is crushing Story’s face with a choke, gets the tap, and God that looked like it sucked!

Demian Maia wins via first round submission by rear naked choke that was actually a neck crank, but whatever it was, it was damn painful looking.

Next up is Phil Davis vs Wagner Prado

Prado rolls up dancing his ass off. A member of his team was smacking him to fire him up, but they were weak. If you’re gonna do that you gotta go all Jason Guida, who slaps the ever loving shit out of his brother, Clay.

Davis rolls up looking like an action figure…with pink ass shorts…young as hell too.

This one is a do-over from August when Davis poked Prado in the eye so bad he couldn’t continue.

Round 1: Prado is mugging, man this dude is a lunatic. Feeling each other out. Prado misses a high kick. Davis tries tying Prado up, he wiggles out. Left high kick by Prado, blocked. Davis ducks a punch and gets a takedown. Prado trying to cage walk up, Davis dragging him back down. Prado keeps grabbing the fence. Prado is back up, but Davis slams him down hard. He’s delivering a little ground and pound here. Prado back up, and back down. Davis lands a huge bomb, then one right to the back of the head. Now he’s just pounding Prado. Damn, every time Prado gets up, Davis takes him down. Prado ends the round on the ground looking demoralized. Davis 10-9.

Round 2: Front kick by Davis. Prado with a straight left. Davis high kick misses by a mile. Flying knee by Davis, uses it to tie Prado up, and yep, takes his ass down again. Landing some nice body shots. Prado up, but Davis has him pressed up against the cage. Davis delivers a few Charlie horse shots, and they separate. Left kick by Prado, blocked. Davis shoots again, and he’s got him. Even Davis’ telegraphed shots are working. Davis with some elbows. He goes for mount, ends up in half guard. Davis with an arm triangle. Prado shows he can grapple at least a little and escapes. Wait, spoke too soon. Davis then secures an anaconda choke and gets the tap! Nice.

That was about as dominating a grappling clinic as we’ve seen in the UFC.

Phil Davis wins via anaconda choke in the second round.

Next up is Jon Fitch vs Erick Silva, and this shit would get ugly.

You gotta to feel for Jon Fitch, man. Eternally branded a boring fighter, Fitch gets very little love. He used to at least get some respect as the #2 welterweight in the world, but now people mostly just want him to go away. And what does the UFC do to him after getting dick-nailed by Johny Hendricks? They feed him to Erick Silva.

Silva (no relation to Anderson – Silva is Brazil’s Patel) is just a different breed. He’s an animal. They found this guy in a cave, practicing jiu jitsu with wild animals. Everyone is swinging from the Rory McDonald nutbag. And he a’ight. But I’m swinging from Erick Silva’s bulbous jungle vine. This guy is the future champion. After this fight, getting ‘Fitch’d’ is going to be a household term, one carrying the same loathsome connotation as getting ‘Munson’d.’

Ugh, nasty cauliflower ear on Silva, looks like a pork dumpling from Chan’s Wok.

Fitch has his game face on. Rollin’ out to some country western shit, the fans don’t seem impressed.

Round 1: Fitch opens with a leg kick. Silva lands a knee to the body, Fitch takes him down, going for Silva’s back. Fitch has a hook in, riding Silva’s back. Fitch delivering some nice shots to the side of Silva’s head. Still riding Silva’s back. Fitch going for a standing arm triangle. Silva escapes. Front kick lands to Fitch’s face. Huge shot by Silva to the grill. Fitch chases Silva down, they’re tied up against the cage. Fitch lands a nice elbow off the break. Silva with a couple knees, Fitch going for a takedown, lands it. Silva gets up, Fitch on his back again. Fitch ends the round on Silva’s back landing shots. Fitch 10-9.

Round 2: Silva misses a huge left. Fitch with an uppercut. Silva with a sweep, nice. Now he’s on Fitch’s back. He’s going for a crucifix, but Fitch reverses. Silva on Fitch’s back now, throwing huge shots. Fitch escapes. ilva delivers a knee. Fitch with a punch followed by a knee. He’s got Silva clinched against the cage. Going for a takedown, Silva lands a nasty elbow. Fitch misses a throw, Silva takes him down, takes his back. Silva working for a rear naked. Fitch defending very well. That looked like it was in the bag. Fitch reverses and is in Silva’s guard delivering some nasty. Fitch takes his back now. Great round! Fitch with an armbar, Silva manages to survive. WOW! Fitch 10-9.

Round 3: Fitch is fired up, son. Even throws a side kick. Fitch ties him up. Silva looks absolutely exhausted. Fitch is pounding his head. Going for another choke. Now he’s just hammering him again. Silva gets free, and drops for a guillotine, but he’s just too tired. Fitch is out, and now dropping elbows. He’s beating the shit out of Silva here. Fitch going for a choke, but doesn’t have the position. Fitch is pounding away now. Silva is flattened out and Fitch is issuing an ass whoopin’. Now he’s mounted, and the ref is warning Silva to fight back. Fitch is dropping more elbows, and punches, and just all sorts of hurt. Silva survives to the bell, but that was a dominant win.

Perhaps I jumped the gun on Erick Silva. Jesus he got his ass handed to him. Hats off to Fitch man, never seen him fight like that before.

Jon Fitch earns the unanimous decision, 30-27, 29-28, 29-28.

That was the best Jon Fitch I ever saw. If Fitch fought with only half that intensity he’d never have been known as a human blanket.

Next we have Glover Teixeira vs Fabio Maldonado

Glover is carrying some serious rep with him. He’s 18-2 with 16 of those wins coming via some form of violent stoppage. It’s actually difficult for the UFC to find him opponents. The thought is that he doesn’t yet have enough name value to lose to. For Maldonado, on a two fight losing skid, such analytical decision making was not an option.

Damn, Fabio rolls out to the Rocky theme. Do they even know what that is in Brazil?

Round 1: Glover opens with a big left, knocks Fabio down with a shot, delivering some big shots, now has him mounted, pounding away. This is a bad place to find yourself to start off. Glover with some elbows. Fabio tries to hip escape, Glover answers with some humungous shots. HUGE elbows by Glover. Glover going for an arm triangle, mercifully. Glover abandons that and just goes back to fucking him up from mount. Jesus, that rep is well earned. Glover even takes a break to scratch his nose. Fabio gets up, and he is a mess. Glover is just hammering away, but damn he just got rocked by Fabio! Glover takes him down to end it, and that is a 10-8 for him. If Fabio hadn’t rocked Glover at the end, it’d be a 10-2.

Round 2: Glover with an immediate takedown, and God I don’t know if i can watch another round of this horror. Fabio gets up. He throws a couple hooks, blocked, but lands a couple jabs. Fabio with a body shot. Glover lands another takedown. And he’s in full mount. This dude throws some downright vicious elbows. Fabio his escapes to half guard. Glover looks like he may have gassed himself out delivering that beating in the first round. He isn’t throwing much. Just as I say that he lands a few hammer fists. Now some elbows. The ref stands them up. They call in the doc to look at Fabio who is busted up. They resume. Glover clips a right, then a left. And another. And another. Fabio is shaky. 10-9 Glover.

The doctor just ended the fight. Fabio is upset, but that was merciful. Glover is NO JOKE.

Glover Teixeira gets the TKO by doctor stoppage at the end of round two.

The crowd applauds Fabio Maldonado’s heart. Well deserved. He took a vicious beating.

Glover says Fabio is not a human for the beating he took.

Co-main event is next, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs Dave Herman

How can ya not love Big Nog. At the weigh-ins he was like the mayor, holding court, shaking hands, just kinda giving off an aura that said, “You will all God damn wait till I’m good ‘n ready to get on that scale.” It was heart-breaking to see Frank Mir tear his arm apart like that. Nog’s been taken apart and put back together so many times we should just start calling him FrankenNog.

Herman is tough customer, but his reputation far exceeds his accomplishments against top competition thus far. He does, however, have the most symmetrical lower pectoral I’ve ever seen.

Herman walks out to some carefree beach music sporting a towel on his head.

The arena goes dark for Big Nog, who rolls out to a Led Zep remix.

Round 1: Herman with a shin to the body. Nog ties him up and Herman flips him onto his back. Herman dropping shots, and Nog is back up. Nog charges forward and catches him with a right. Herman with a brutal body kick. They’re tied up against the cage. Nog with a few short shots to the head and body. Herman with a knee off the break. Nog lands a big left, Herman responds with a body kick. Leg kick by Nog. Nog ties him up and delivers an uppercut. He’s got Herman against the cage. Herman misses a straight left, Nog answers with a right. Body kick by Herman, and again, and those look like they kinda suck. Nog going for a takedown, and Herman uses the whizzer to avoid. Nog lands a shot to the chops. Herman tries a head kick, blocked. 10-9 Nog.

Round 2: Arianny must smell like heaven. Here we go. Nog charges forward and knocks Herman on his ass. He’s in side control, and let’s see if that jiu jitsu shit actually works. He’s going for an americana, and it looks foul. Herman is free, but Nog is in full mount pounding away. Herman gives up his back, not good. Nog going for an armbar. He lost the position. And they’re up. Herman’s game plan seems to be just standing there with his arm extended and throwing a kick every few minutes. And look at that, Herman hip tosses Nog. Nog was looking for a sweep, Herman lets him up. Nog lands a right to the grill. And another. Nog lands a trip takedown, mounts way too easily. He’s attacking an arm again. He got it. Guess that jiu jitsu shit works after all.

Big Nog gets the submission (armbar) in the second round.

And here we go, the main event is up, Anderson Silva vs Stephan Bonnar

The bad news for Bonnar is that he’s about to get badly fucked up. The good news is that he needn’t even concern himself with winning. He’ll win simply by getting fucked up less than Silva’s previous opponents, especially at 205. It’s kind of like the concept of ‘You aint got to be the fastest, just faster than the slowest.’ All he needs to do is show up and he’s already ahead of Forrest Griffin, and to surpass James Irvin shouldn’t be a stretch for him either.

He’s going head up with the greatest fighting machine the sport has even known. If it weren’t for his bizarre Bieber fetish we wouldn’t even consider Anderson Silva human, but a genetically engineered killer crafted by Skynet. But anyone who can get down to some boy band shit must have human emotion, shame obviously not being one of them though.

Bonnar comes out to some new age nonsense. All I wanna know is why not Iron Maiden? This is the most non-fighting music ever. On a positive note though, I’m quite impressed by Bonnar’s physique transformation over the past couple years. He used to be a little flabby, and very pasty. Now he’s jacked and tanned. Guess it paid off, you seen his wife?

Silva walks out reppin’ the BK, looking focused, rocking the winner’s walk.

Round 1: Bonnar takes center cage, attacking, going for a takedown. Bonnar with a few knees, and some short punches. Silva with a knee to the head, just skims. Bonnar working hard for the takedown. They’re clinched against the cage. Bonnar with an elbow, drops levels, and eats a knee to the sternum for it. Silva with the head clinch, let’s go. Silva and Bonnar trading shots, Silva starting his weird routine. Bonnar on a single leg, Silva free. Bonnar whacks Silva in the face, Silva eats it like it aint no thang. He’s actually letting Bonnar punch him. Silva takes Bonnar down, then knees him, punches him, and just descends on him. Bonnar hit the ground and covered up. And the shit is over. That didn’t take long.

It was a brutal knee to the body that really hurt Bonnar, then he followed up with some shots to the side of the head. So much for a bigger opponent whose never been stopped. Silva is just operating on a different plane.

Anderson Silva scores the first round TKO.

Unreal, man. We all knew this wasn’t a competitive fight, but damn he made that look easy. Silva actually fucks dudes up at 205 worse than at 185. Maybe my ex-girlfriend was right, size doesn’t always matter. Anyways, that’s it for me ya’ll. Thanks for chillin’. Peace out.

Catch the UFC 153 Weigh-Ins Right Here Starting at 3 p.m. EST [UPDATED w/RESULTS]


(It was at the UFC 153 pre-fight press conference that Stephan Bonnar revealed his true gameplan to defeat Anderson: G.T.L.) 

All the fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 153 event are scheduled to hit the scales starting at 3 p.m. EST this afternoon from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so make sure to swing by the Tater to check out all the intense, barely-clothed staredowns you could ever ask for. Did that come off as gay? Because we didn’t mean for it to come off as gay; not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Anyway, a string of injuries (go figure) and a good old fashioned case of hepatitis have dramatically altered the face of UFC 153, leaving us with a main event matchup that, when viewed through an incredibly narrow and skewed lens, is almost plausible. So swing by this afternoon to see whether or not Stephan Bonnar will piss himself after he realizes just how big of a mistake he has actually made, whether or not Anderson Silva will come dressed as a Jabbawockee again, and whether or not the Brazilian audience will still be donning their “I fucked Chael Sonnen Last Night” t-shirts. Also, be sure to swing by tomorrow at 10 p.m. EST for our official liveblog of all the action!


(It was at the UFC 153 pre-fight press conference that Stephan Bonnar revealed his true gameplan to defeat Anderson: G.T.L.) 

All the fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 153 event are scheduled to hit the scales starting at 3 p.m. EST this afternoon from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so make sure to swing by the Tater to check out all the intense, barely-clothed staredowns you could ever ask for. Did that come off as gay? Because we didn’t mean for it to come off as gay; not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Anyway, a string of injuries (go figure) and a good old fashioned case of hepatitis have dramatically altered the face of UFC 153, leaving us with a main event matchup that, when viewed through an incredibly narrow and skewed lens, is almost plausible. So swing by this afternoon to see whether or not Stephan Bonnar will piss himself after he realizes just how big of a mistake he has actually made, whether or not Anderson Silva will come dressed as a Jabbawockee again, and whether or not the Brazilian audience will still be donning their “I fucked Chael Sonnen Last Night” t-shirts. Also, be sure to swing by tomorrow at 10 p.m. EST for our official liveblog of all the action!

MAIN CARD
-Anderson Silva (202) vs. Stephan Bonnar (205)
–Fabio Maldonado (203) vs. Glover Teixeira (204)
–Dave Herman (244) vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (243)
–Jon Fitch (170) vs. Erick Silva (169)
–Phil Davis (206) vs. Wagner Prado (204)
–Demian Maia (170) vs. Rick Story (170)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FX 8PM ET)
-Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra (145) vs. Sam Sicilia (146)
–Gleison Tibau (155) vs. Francisco Trinaldo (154)
–Diego Brandao (144) vs. Joey Gambino (146)
-Renee Forte (169) vs. Sergio Moraes (169)

PRELIMINARY CARD (Facebook 7PM ET)
-Chris Camozzi (185) vs. Luiz Cane (184)
-Reza Madadi (155) vs. Cristiano Marcello (155)

Notes:
-Make sure to catch Madadi vs. Marcello on the FB prelims, because their staredown nearly erupted into a Strikeforcian brawl.

-Joey Gambino has a tattoo of a cage going halfway around his torso. Just thought that needed mentioning. Also, he’s a dead man.

-Erick Silva is a BEAST. Dude looks like the cartel leader’s henchman from every Brazilian gang movie ever made.

-What the fuck was that one kid in the Silva/Gracie train doing? Because it looked like he was crying. He was definitely crying. Must have been related to Stephan.

–J. Jones

Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 153? Edition


(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012’s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.

Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and the curse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Facebook + FX prelims

Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.

Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.


(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012′s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.

Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and the curse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Facebook + FX prelims

Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.

Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.

Main Card

Demian Maia (-150) vs Rick Story (+130)

The line on Maia has steadily climbed towards the -160 area, and despite many picking him to lose against Kim in his WW debut, the BJJ whiz out grappled one of the best WW in the world. Story fights best when he can impose his will, but against Maia, clinching against the fence or taking the fight to the ground may not be the best strategy to win. Maia makes the parlay and remains undefeated at 170lbs.

Phil Davis (-380) vs Wagner Prado (+315)

The only thing that sticks out here (like a finger to the eye! *rimshot*) is that Wagner caught Davis once in their first fight. I am not rushing to the window to lay -350 and up on Phil Davis in Brazil as I need to see more from the American wrestling standout to pay that kind of price fighting in Wagner’s back yard.

Jon Fitch (+115) vs Erick Silva (-135)

This is one of those Old School vs. New School fights, a more or less one-dimensional fighter against a more well rounded fighter. Silva has a fantastic sprawl and represents the new breed of fighter who use defensive wrestling to compliment a strong stand up game. Jon Fitch will no doubt fight hard, but I think his old school style may fail him for a second time in a row for the first time in his career. I am going with Silva sitting at -140 for the parlay as I do not think Fitch will be able to win the stand up game or keep Silva on the ground long enough to take the fight on the cards.

Glover Teixeira (-400) vs Fabio Maldonado (+325)

I’m on the Glover bandwagon even with the steep price coming in around -400. Trained by everyone from Marco Ruas to John Hackleman and having such sparring partners as Chuck Liddell at his disposal, Glover may just know a thing or two about how to handle himself in the stand up exchange with Fabio. It will be interesting to see if Teixeira attempts to show off his grappling skills in this fight or times a perfect counter to a Maldonado body shot, but it seems like in either case, Glover is ending this fight and stamping his name towards the top of the 205 division. I like the prop that this fight does not go the distance and perhaps ends before the half way mark of the contest.

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (-320) vs Dave Herman (+260)

I want to lay it down on Big Nog and I think the fight plays well into his skill set, but coming off a serious injury against a fairly experienced younger, bigger fighter is a tough spot for the legend here. I do not see this fight going the distance and I would rather sit back and enjoy Antonio’s return as the betting favorite and see if the fight ends before the 15 minute mark.

Anderson Silva (-1100) vs Stephan Bonnar (+700)

Silva. Just lay the 3 grand you have lying around the house to make 200 bucks and thank me later.

Parlay 1
Madadi – Tibau – Maia

Parlay 2
Tibau – E.Silva – Maia – Teixeira

Props
-Teixeira/Maldonado does not go the distance
-Bezerra/Sicilia does not go the distance
-Big Nog/Dave Herman does not go the distance

Enjoy the fights CP nation and may the winners be yours!

Rashad Evans Becomes the Latest UFC Fighter to Turn Down Glover Teixeira


(It’s not that Rashad hasn’t been training — it’s that he’s only been training in the loosest, most Hawaiian sense of the word.)

Has Glover Teixeira become the most ducked fighter in the UFC? Mauricio “Shogun” Rua allegedly wanted nothing to do with him. Stephan Bonnar refused to fight him on the basis of twitter count. And now Rashad Evans has admitted to turning down a proposed match against the Brazilian light-heavyweight up-and-comer at UFC 153, due to the short-notice nature of the fight.

If you’ll recall, Teixeira was originally supposed to face Quinton Jackson at the October 13th event in Rio, before Rampage went down with an elbow injury. The UFC then asked Evans to come in as a replacement, but couldn’t make a deal with him. As Evans explained on the UFC on FUEL TV 5 post-fight show:

“They offered me a fight, but it was against Glover Teixeira and I only had three weeks to fight and I haven’t been training. I was like, ‘no way, not with that notice in Brazil.'”

Perhaps the fans weren’t as supportive of this choice as Rashad was expecting them to be, because he got on twitter yesterday to explain himself even further:


(It’s not that Rashad hasn’t been training — it’s that he’s only been training in the loosest, most Hawaiian sense of the word.)

Has Glover Teixeira become the most ducked fighter in the UFC? Mauricio “Shogun” Rua allegedly wanted nothing to do with him. Stephan Bonnar refused to fight him on the basis of twitter count. And now Rashad Evans has admitted to turning down a proposed match against the Brazilian light-heavyweight up-and-comer at UFC 153, due to the short-notice nature of the fight.

If you’ll recall, Teixeira was originally supposed to face Quinton Jackson at the October 13th event in Rio, before Rampage went down with an elbow injury. The UFC then asked Evans to come in as a replacement, but couldn’t make a deal with him. As Evans explained on the UFC on FUEL TV 5 post-fight show:

“They offered me a fight, but it was against Glover Teixeira and I only had three weeks to fight and I haven’t been training. I was like, ‘no way, not with that notice in Brazil.’”

Perhaps the fans weren’t as supportive of this choice as Rashad was expecting them to be, because he got on twitter yesterday to explain himself even further:

“I will fight anybody with the proper notice.. But after 8yrs with the UFC & being one of their top earners. Y would I take a bad fight?! … Bad fight meaning not being in shape. Losing is hard enough but I will never serve myself up! If I’m haven’t been training I won’t fight! … I know alot of u fans may not realize but I don’t walk around ready 2 fight. No one does. In this sport it takes at least 8wks 2 b ready! … Fighting another person is much harder than most ppl think & if im not training it takes time 2 get ready. There r no easy fights!”

In the immediate wake of Dana White publicly blasting Matt Mitrione for turning down an offer to fight Daniel Cormier, it’s worth asking, once again: Is turning down a high-profile fight due to lack of preparation time really a “smart personal career decision” when you know that it will draw the fury of your boss? In Rashad’s case, it’s completely understandable — if he’s not in shape, he shouldn’t take the fight, simple as that. But since Rashad has already spent time on the Dana White Shit List for choosing not to fight, it doesn’t bode well for his future treatment by the company.

Meanwhile, Glover Teixeira continues to be the lonely girl at the dance, waiting for someone to love him, waiting for someone to kiss him. Keep your chin up, bro. They just don’t see the beauty that’s inside you.

Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar Booked for New UFC 153 Headliner; Edgar Removed From Card, Maldonado and Big Nog Added


(“The Burger King Triple Stacker — I don’t jump up to light-heavyweight on short notice without it.”)

After UFC 153 lost its main event and co-main event in the same day, UFC matchmakers needed to get creative if they wanted to avoid another financially devastating event-cancellation. And by God, they’ve gotten creative. USA Today has just confirmed that Anderson Silva will now be headlining the October 13th event in Rio de Janeiro, in a light-heavyweight feature against…Stephan, freakin’, Bonnar. Allow that delicious insanity to sink in for just a moment. Alright, let’s continue.

The report follows an earlier story broken by MMAFighting, which confirmed that Frankie Edgar has been removed from the event altogether. So if you chose “other” in today’s poll, award yourself five PotatoBux.

This will be the third light-heavyweight UFC appearance for Silva, who previously scored brilliant knockouts against 205’ers James Irvin (in July 2008) and Forrest Griffin (in August 2009). Bonnar, who is currently riding a three-fight win streak, has been vocal in recent months about his desire to get at least one more big fight before he exits the sport — remember his campaign for a TUF coaching gig against Griffin? — and sort of retired in July due to his frustration that another marquee matchup wasn’t materializing. Well, Bonnar’s got his big fish, for better or for worse. And if he lasts more than one round against the Spider, he’ll do better than any UFC light-heavyweight before him.


(“The Burger King Triple Stacker — I don’t jump up to light-heavyweight on short notice without it.”)

After UFC 153 lost its main event and co-main event in the same day, UFC matchmakers needed to get creative if they wanted to avoid another financially devastating event-cancellation. And by God, they’ve gotten creative. USA Today has just confirmed that Anderson Silva will now be headlining the October 13th event in Rio de Janeiro, in a light-heavyweight feature against…Stephan, freakin’, Bonnar. Allow that delicious insanity to sink in for just a moment. Alright, let’s continue.

The report follows an earlier story broken by MMAFighting, which confirmed that Frankie Edgar has been removed from the event altogether. So if you chose “other” in today’s poll, award yourself five PotatoBux.

This will be the third light-heavyweight UFC appearance for Silva, who previously scored brilliant knockouts against 205′ers James Irvin (in July 2008) and Forrest Griffin (in August 2009). Bonnar, who is currently riding a three-fight win streak, has been vocal in recent months about his desire to get at least one more big fight before he exits the sport — remember his campaign for a TUF coaching gig against Griffin? — and sort of retired in July due to his frustration that another marquee matchup wasn’t materializing. Well, Bonnar’s got his big fish, for better or for worse. And if he lasts more than one round against the Spider, he’ll do better than any UFC light-heavyweight before him.

USA Today also reports that Brazilian gut-puncher Fabio Maldonado will be replacing Quinton Jackson in the UFC 153 co-main event against light-heavyweight rising star Glover Teixeira. Maldonado, who has lost back-to-back decisions against Kyle Kingsbury and Igor Pokrajac, was originally scheduled to fight Jorgen Kruth at UFC on FX 5 later this month, until Kruth retired out of the blue.

Also thickening up the UFC 153 main card will be a heavyweight feature between Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira — who’s coming back from his arm-shattering loss to Frank Mir in December — and Dave Herman, who has been knocked out in his last two fights against Stefan Struve and Roy Nelson.

As UFC president Dana White said about the new matchups:

“We’re back on track. Anderson Silva wasn’t scheduled to fight at all. I called him today, and he’s shooting a commercial in Brazil. Anderson Silva steps up, and Stephan Bonnar wants to fight him. The Teixeira vs. Maldonado fight comes together, and then Nogueira was standing right there with Anderson shooting the commercial with him, and he said he wanted to fight, too.

This is old-school UFC. A card is in jeopardy, but guys that are world champions and superstars stepped up and jumped in and saved the card. This is why the fans love this sport and why we went on a 12-year run without canceling an event.”

So what do you guys think of the new UFC 153 main event? Awesome, or totally stupid but still kind of awesome?