[VIDEO] Fight Stories With Urijah Faber: The Douchebag Black Belt

(Video via FoxSports. Some language NSFW.)

UFC bantamweight Urijah Faber knows a little something about having to defend himself in real life when stuff hits the fan. Epic Bali bar/street fight against an army of Indonesians, anybody?

So, it makes perfect sense that the UFC and Fox Sports chose “The California Kid” as the host of it’s new Fight Stories YouTube series, in which Faber sits down with a real fan who tells a hilarious (and hopefully true) story of having to throw down in a street fight — and then, the whole interaction is animated. The first installment is above; we don’t want to completely spoil it for you, but it does involve alcohol and copious ball punching. Enjoy.

Between Fight Stories, CagePotato’s MMA Mythology and Prebek’s gold mine of cartoon shorts, I think it is fair to say that we are living in the golden age of MMA animation.

Elias Cepeda

Related:
CagePotato Roundtable #9: What Was the Most Memorable Fight You’ve Ever Been In?
Bas Rutten’s Legendary Swedish Bar Fight Story


(Video via FoxSports. Some language NSFW.)

UFC bantamweight Urijah Faber knows a little something about having to defend himself in real life when stuff hits the fan. Epic Bali bar/street fight against an army of Indonesians, anybody?

So, it makes perfect sense that the UFC and Fox Sports chose “The California Kid” as the host of it’s new Fight Stories YouTube series, in which Faber sits down with a real fan who tells a hilarious (and hopefully true) story of having to throw down in a street fight — and then, the whole interaction is animated. The first installment is above; we don’t want to completely spoil it for you, but it does involve alcohol and copious ball punching. Enjoy.

Between Fight Stories, CagePotato’s MMA Mythology and Prebek’s gold mine of cartoon shorts, I think it is fair to say that we are living in the golden age of MMA animation.

Elias Cepeda

Related:
CagePotato Roundtable #9: What Was the Most Memorable Fight You’ve Ever Been In?
Bas Rutten’s Legendary Swedish Bar Fight Story

Jason ‘Mayhem’ Miller Releases Rastafarian-Themed Apology Following His Domestic Violence Arrest, And It Is F*cking Crazy


(We still haven’t tracked down Miller’s latest mugshot, but in the meantime, here’s a photo of him in drag dancing with a sexy cop.)

In his first public statement since he allegedly beat up a woman at his home, former MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller has published a post on his official website apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Now, admitting guilt on the Internet might not be the wisest move from a legal perspective if he intends to fight the charges later. Then again, he might be building an airtight case for temporary insanity. Check out Miller’s statement below, along with our annotations…

HEARMENOW*

To Who it Concerns:

I and I** beg for forgiveness. If I have brought shame or pain upon Anna, her Father, her Mother, her Sister, her children and Shiloh. Know this; JAH THE ALMIGHTY*** SHALL JUDGE AND NO-MAN.

I LOVE YOU.

I APOLOGIZE WITH ALL MY HEART, DURING THE MOST CHALLENGING TIME OF MY life, I ask only for YOU TO UNNASTAN. 33.****

Samakatuwid magsisi at palayasin sa gayon na ang iyong mga kasalanan ay maaaring wiped-out
Mga Gawa 03:19*****

-J. Mayhem Lion******


(We still haven’t tracked down Miller’s latest mugshot, but in the meantime, here’s a photo of him in drag dancing with a sexy cop.)

In his first public statement since he allegedly beat up a woman at his home, former MMA fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller has published a post on his official website apologizing and asking for forgiveness. Now, admitting guilt on the Internet might not be the wisest move from a legal perspective if he intends to fight the charges later. Then again, he might be building an airtight case for temporary insanity. Check out Miller’s statement below, along with our annotations…

HEARMENOW*

To Who it Concerns:

I and I** beg for forgiveness. If I have brought shame or pain upon Anna, her Father, her Mother, her Sister, her children and Shiloh. Know this; JAH THE ALMIGHTY*** SHALL JUDGE AND NO-MAN.

I LOVE YOU.

I APOLOGIZE WITH ALL MY HEART, DURING THE MOST CHALLENGING TIME OF MY life, I ask only for YOU TO UNNASTAN. 33.****

Samakatuwid magsisi at palayasin sa gayon na ang iyong mga kasalanan ay maaaring wiped-out
Mga Gawa 03:19*****

-J. Mayhem Lion******

//////////////

* “Hear me now” (pronounced “ear mih nah”) is a common expression in reggae/dancehall music, as well as in reggae/dancehall parodies.

** “I and I” is a Rastafari expression used to signify the oneness of God and Man.

*** “Jah” is the Rastafari name for God.

**** Unclear. Miller may have been pondering the timeless mystery of the Rolling Rock bottle.

***** As far as I can tell, Mayhem is phonetically transcribing Acts 3:19 in tagalog. Acts 3:19 reads, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Makes sense.

****** i.e., the Lion of Judah, an Ethiopian symbol for Emperor Haile Selassie I borrowed by the Rastafari movement. When used by an American, it often signifies a disturbing shift in identity.

So yeah, pretty bizarre stuff. We can only hope that one day, after he’s released from jail, Mayhem can look back on this insanity and blame it on sleep-deprivation and energy drinks.

WSOF 4 Weigh-In Results: Lew Polley Misses Weight by 32 Pounds, LIKE A BOSS

(Spong vs. DeAnda face-off, via ZombieProphet)

The fighters competing at tomorrow night’s World Series of Fighting 4: Spong vs. DeAnda event weighed in today at Dave and Buster’s in Ontario, California, and things went smoothly for the most part. The headliners made weight. Newell made weight. Jorge Santiago weighed in at 172.4 pounds on his first attempt, but was more than two pounds lighter when he tried again. And Lew Polley showed up at 237 pounds for a light-heavyweight bout. Holy shit. Awesome.

Polley’s weight wasn’t even announced publicly — WSOF officials only said that he was “significantly over” the contracted weight and removed him from the bout — but MMAJunkie’s John Morgan got the actual number from an event source. By the way, Polley missing weight by 32 pounds puts him at #1 on the Weigh-In Failure Leaderboard, destroying the old record of 23.75. Polley has already apologized on twitter, although he didn’t offer an explanation as to what went wrong.

Tomorrow night’s event was supposed to be Polley’s WSOF debut, and it’s unlikely that the promotion will have him back. Fortunately, Polley’s scheduled opponent Hans Stringer was paid his show money. The full WSOF 4 weigh-in results are after the jump, in case you’re curious.


(Spong vs. DeAnda face-off, via ZombieProphet)

The fighters competing at tomorrow night’s World Series of Fighting 4: Spong vs. DeAnda event weighed in today at Dave and Buster’s in Ontario, California, and things went smoothly for the most part. The headliners made weight. Newell made weight. Jorge Santiago weighed in at 172.4 pounds on his first attempt, but was more than two pounds lighter when he tried again. And Lew Polley showed up at 237 pounds for a light-heavyweight bout. Holy shit. Awesome.

Polley’s weight wasn’t even announced publicly — WSOF officials only said that he was “significantly over” the contracted weight and removed him from the bout — but MMAJunkie’s John Morgan got the actual number from an event source. By the way, Polley missing weight by 32 pounds puts him at #1 on the Weigh-In Failure Leaderboard, destroying the old record of 23.75. Polley has already apologized on twitter, although he didn’t offer an explanation as to what went wrong.

Tomorrow night’s event was supposed to be Polley’s WSOF debut, and it’s unlikely that the promotion will have him back. Fortunately, Polley’s scheduled opponent Hans Stringer was paid his show money. The full WSOF 4 weigh-in results are after the jump, in case you’re curious.

MAIN CARD (NBC Sports Network, 10:30 p.m. ET / 7:30 p.m. PT)
Tyrone Spong (205) vs. Angel DeAnda (205)
Marlon Moraes (136) vs. Brandon Hempleman (136)
Nick Newell (155) vs. Keon Caldwell (156)
Ray Sefo (255) vs. Dave Huckaba (264)
Tyson Griffin (156) vs. Gesias Cavalcante (156)

PRELIMINARY CARD (8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT)
Gerald Harris (171) vs. Jorge Santiago (170.2)
Antonio McKee (155) vs. Lewis Gonzalez (156)
Lew Polley vs. Hans Stringer
Jared Papazian (136) vs. John Robles (134)
Isaac Gutierrez (150) vs. Victor Valenzuela (150)

Sad Video of The Day: Lyoto Machida Now Drinking Urine of Complete Strangers

(Props: Panico na Band via Magnum1977)

Ok, we’re starting to suspect that Lyoto Machida‘s piss-drinking habit has more to do with exhibitionism than supposed health benefits. That the former UFC light heavyweight champion learned to drink urine from his father (writing that sentence just gave me the creeps) is well documented. It is clear now, however, that Lyoto’s urine addiction is out of control.

No longer does he partake solely within the confines of secure training environments where the waste liquid he ingests can be trusted to be “clean,” as the video evidence above shows Machida is now drinking the urine of complete strangers. That is, as long as they drink his urine as well. Clearly, this has all just become a game to pee-pee party boy Lyoto. Sad.

And, no more jokes — this is just gross.

Who could have guessed that this is what “The Machida Era” would entail. We’re not saying his golden showers are directly contributing to his lackluster performances in recent years, but how could they be helping?

What do you think, nation? Is this more or less disgusting/erotic than Joe Rogan forcing blonde chicks to guzzle donkey semen? And, will this writer ever be able to redeem himself after cashing checks for writing about both of these episodes? Our answers: More disgusting, less erotic, and no.

By the way, the woman featured in this clip is Pânico na TV reporter Sabrina Sato whose resume includes “having her body covered with bees, lighting candles by fart, being buried alive, allowing a scorpion to sting her on her bare backside, belching the lyrics to songs/ stories, and even eating bugs.” WIFE MATERIAL.

Elias Cepeda


(Props: Panico na Band via Magnum1977)

Ok, we’re starting to suspect that Lyoto Machida‘s piss-drinking habit has more to do with exhibitionism than supposed health benefits. That the former UFC light heavyweight champion learned to drink urine from his father (writing that sentence just gave me the creeps) is well documented. It is clear now, however, that Lyoto’s urine addiction is out of control.

No longer does he partake solely within the confines of secure training environments where the waste liquid he ingests can be trusted to be “clean,” as the video evidence above shows Machida is now drinking the urine of complete strangers. That is, as long as they drink his urine as well. Clearly, this has all just become a game to pee-pee party boy Lyoto. Sad.

And, no more jokes — this is just gross.

Who could have guessed that this is what “The Machida Era” would entail. We’re not saying his golden showers are directly contributing to his lackluster performances in recent years, but how could they be helping?

What do you think, nation? Is this more or less disgusting/erotic than Joe Rogan forcing blonde chicks to guzzle donkey semen? And, will this writer ever be able to redeem himself after cashing checks for writing about both of these episodes? Our answers: More disgusting, less erotic, and no.

By the way, the woman featured in this clip is Pânico na TV reporter Sabrina Sato whose resume includes “having her body covered with bees, lighting candles by fart, being buried alive, allowing a scorpion to sting her on her bare backside, belching the lyrics to songs/ stories, and even eating bugs.” WIFE MATERIAL.

Elias Cepeda

Anderson Silva Is Back on The Troll Train, Says He’ll Include Chuck Norris In Training Camp

In the moments and even days following his stunning loss to Chris Weidman last month, fans of long-time UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva wondered if perhaps the Spider we had all come to know and love might never return. Silva initially balked at a rematch with Weidman, after all, and said that he didn’t want any more title fights.

As we all know by now, Silva reconsidered that decision and will indeed face Weidman for a second time this December. Still, was Silva burned out at 38 years of age? Had he been pressured into accepting the rematch with Weidman? Did he even have the desire to be Anderson Silva anymore?

Perhaps the clearest indication that Silva is back to his old, weird self came recently during a Brazilian radio interview. “I had a nightmare with Weidman, but I don’t fear him,” Silva said.

“He is determined, but has two arms and two legs just like me. Now I’ll bring Chuck Norris into my training camp]. I’ll bring both, Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal.”

There you have it, nation. Anderson Silva, super troll, has always preceded Anderson the devastating fighter. Here, in coded language, is Anderson Silva telling all his fans throughout the world, “I am once more ready to fuck with you, mentally, the way I have always fucked with you.”

In the moments and even days following his stunning loss to Chris Weidman last month, fans of long-time UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva wondered if perhaps the Spider we had all come to know and love might never return. Silva initially balked at a rematch with Weidman, after all, and said that he didn’t want any more title fights.

As we all know by now, Silva reconsidered that decision and will indeed face Weidman for a second time this December. Still, was Silva burned out at 38 years of age? Had he been pressured into accepting the rematch with Weidman? Did he even have the desire to be Anderson Silva anymore?

Perhaps the clearest indication that Silva is back to his old, weird self came recently during a Brazilian radio interview. ”I had a nightmare with Weidman, but I don’t fear him,” Silva said.

“He is determined, but has two arms and two legs just like me. Now I’ll bring Chuck Norris into my training camp]. I’ll bring both, Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal.”

There you have it, nation. Anderson Silva, super troll, has always preceded Anderson the devastating fighter. Here, in coded language, is Anderson Silva telling all his fans throughout the world, “I am once more ready to fuck with you, mentally, the way I have always fucked with you.”

For years, Silva has entertained himself with the elaborate ruse of pretending that Endurance Eating World Champion Steven Seagal was a martial artist, and that he respected him and relied on him for coaching. Now, Silva is indicating that he’s taking his real training for the Weidman rematch to another level by making up a new fake training narrative, in which he will be studying under a 73-year-old living meme.

Chuck Norris + Steven Seagal = an Anderson Silva who is once again ready to not tell you a darn thing about what really goes into his training. Are there any other action stars you think Anderson should throw into the mix for his UFC 168 training camp, ‘Taters?

Elias Cepeda

UFC Man-Cave Guy vs. Diaz Brother Fight-Barn Guy: Who’s More Dangerously Obsessed?

(Props: UFCORIGINALFAN via The UG)

So you think you’re a die-hard MMA fan, just because you buy most of the UFC pay-per-views and because you have a few fruity-ass Georges St. Pierre trading cards in your sock drawer? Let me show you what real obsession is, bro.

A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)

First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…

– A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.

– A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.

– An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.

– The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.

– An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.


(Props: UFCORIGINALFAN via The UG)

So you think you’re a die-hard MMA fan, just because you buy most of the UFC pay-per-views and because you have a few fruity-ass Georges St. Pierre trading cards in your sock drawer? Let me show you what real obsession is, bro.

A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)

First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…

– A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.

– A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.

– An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.

– The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.

– An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.

– UFC action figures — perhaps every one that’s ever been produced — hanging on the walls, along with framed event posters and other assorted memorabilia, much of it autographed.

– A separate corner devoted to Arianny and Brittney, particularly their Playboy appearances.

– A Brian Ebersole fight playing on the TV. Jesus, this guy really is a hardcore fan.

– An end-credits shout out to “Bonnie, for just letting me do my thing.” #adorbz

Now let’s visit contestant #2…


(Props: Terry WARDIAZ Young)

So yeah, this one’s a little more rustic. You can tell that Terry has less resources than MMAn Cave Guy, but his obsession is far more focused. And his Diaz Fight Barn really covers all the bases. It features…

– The phrase “WAR DIAZ” carved into a spray-painted wooden plank.

– A torn-up speed-bag, and a heavy-bag in pretty good shape.

– Some anti-Dana White fan art.

– Every page of every magazine article ever published about each Diaz brother, taped onto the walls. (“That’s how I fucks with them, homey, you know, all day. Got Nate Diaz givin’ Sirone [sic] a shot fuckin’ rieet in the jah, there, oof. Pretty.”)

– A shout-out to LayzieTheSavage.

– A weight-bench set-up. The narrator immediately declares “fuck that thing.”

So, clearly the first guy wins in terms of quantity/quality of his items, and time spent on his obsession. But answer me this — who would you rather sit next to at a WAR MMA show?