Ladies and gentlemen (actually, just gentlemen), today is your lucky day, because you are about to learn how easy it is to become a UFC fighter. None other than TUF 8 runner up and rubber armed badass Vinny Magalhaes came across this instructional video last night and tweeted it for the world to see.
Simply put, if you have any aspirations of becoming an MMA UFC fighter, it would be idiotic not to watch this video, for it provides more insight into the world of mixed martial arts in a minute and a half than years of training and dedication could ever accomplish. Where Red Bull and The Secret failed, this video will succeed.
Join us after the jump to get your knowledge on.
(Step 1: MIRRORS.)
Ladies and gentlemen (actually, just gentlemen), today is your lucky day, because you are about to learn how easy it is to become a UFC fighter. None other than TUF 8 runner up and rubber armed badass Vinny Magalhaes came across this instructional video last night and tweeted it for the world to see.
Simply put, if you have any aspirations of becoming an MMA UFC fighter, it would be idiotic not to watch this video, for it provides more insight into the world of mixed martial arts in a minute and a half than years of training and dedication could ever accomplish. Where Red Bull and The Secret failed, this video will succeed.
We have no clue what the true purpose behind this video was, but it did inform us that all it takes to become a UFC fighter is the following:
1. A big heart
2. A “club” that offers MMA training
3. At least one jump rope
4. At least one spin bike
5. Endurance that will last five three minute rounds
6. A UFC coach to personal trane you. We recommend this guy.
And there you have it, folks. Now get out to your local clubs and start lifting weights, but don’t forget to train endurance, cardio, and stamina as well. Because you might think you’re strong, but strength isn’t always what’s going to get you…
…and before you know it, you’ll have “the perfect match for a perfect fight.”
(True to his nickname, Mark “The Great White Shark” Potter prefers his opponents to be grossly overweight and easily capable of being put down. Photo courtesy of David Lethaby.)
You guys remember that insane Pancrase fighter who couldn’t stop beating the shit out of his opponent despite the ref’s intervention? Meet the complete opposite of that.
Yes, last Saturday’s CFC 12 heavyweight clash between Mark Potter and Larry Watts may have featured the most indecisive moment in refereeing since Matt Brown vs. Pete Sell. After sending Watts tumbling to the mat with his first punch, Potter, who looks like a smaller, fitter version of Sean McCorkle, decides not to continue punishing his clearly rocked opponent. The ref begins to wave off the bout, but decides not to actually step between the fighters while doing so. Unaware of this, Potter only sees that Watts is still conscious and continues his onslaught. And the ref does nothing to stop this.
Join us after the jump for the madness.
(True to his nickname, Mark “The Great White Shark” Potter prefers his opponents to be grossly overweight and easily capable of being put down. Photo courtesy of David Lethaby.)
You guys remember that insane Pancrase fighter who couldn’t stop beating the shit out of his opponent despite the ref’s intervention? Meet the complete opposite of that.
Yes, last Saturday’s CFC 12 heavyweight clash between Mark Potter and Larry Watts may have featured the most indecisive moment in refereeing since Matt Brown vs. Pete Sell. After sending Watts tumbling to the mat with his first punch, Potter, who looks like a smaller, fitter version of Sean McCorkle, decides not to continue punishing his clearly rocked opponent. The ref begins to wave off the bout, but decides not to actually step between the fighters while doing so. Unaware of this, Potter only sees that Watts is still conscious and continues his onslaught. And the ref does nothing to stop this.
Skip to the 1:50 mark for the beginning of this mess. The first, and what should have been last, punch of the fight lands shortly thereafter. When Potter piles on the punishment, the ref decides that it would be best to just let these two continue on their own terms. Judging by both Watts’ physique and striking “technique,” he must have stumbled into the ring thinking it was the stage for a hot dog eating competition. And let’s not even get into his striking defense, which would make Koji Oishi hang his head in disgust.
We’ll give Watts this, the man does not give up until he is out cold. Unfortunately for him, that moment comes less than ten seconds later, when the brute force of another Potter straight right Potter literally makes Watts’ spine *shiver* and plants the poor son of a bitch face down on the canvas. At this point, the referee looks to Potter, asks him if he is finished, and steps in to officially wave off the fight. Good job, bro.
Don’t ask us how someone with the skill set of Watts managed to fight for a title of any kind, because we simply could not tell you. He must have sick ground game.
If I knew that this was how fighters undergoing injury rehabilitation were treated in Brazil, I would have thrown myself in front of that horse truck that ran over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria years ago. We have no clue what the name of this show is (Melhor do Brasil maybe?), but we feel that depriving you of that piece of information won’t really irk you when you take a look at the drop dead gorgeous women that the current UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva got to judge as part of a body painting contest.
Join us after the jump for the video. You’ll be glad you did.
(Thankfully, Silva’s wife was too busy making steak sandwiches for a certain someone, and could not be in attendance.)
If I knew that this was how fighters undergoing injury rehabilitation were treated in Brazil, I would have thrown myself in front of that horse truck that ran over Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria years ago. We have no clue what the name of this show is (Melhor do Brasil maybe?), but we feel that depriving you of that piece of information won’t really irk you when you take a look at the drop dead gorgeous women that the current UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva got to judge as part of a body painting contest.
Apparently this video is from September of last year. We don’t care. And neither should you.
Silva is set to defend his title against Chael Sonnen at UFC 147, which goes down from the Estádio Olímpico João Havelange in Rio de Janeiro on June 16th. That is, if Sonnen is not trampled to death during his walk out by the 80,000 bloodthirsty Brazilians in attendance.
Speaking of Brazilian knockouts, check out a fight that is best described as the Brazilian version of Cheick Kongo vs. Pat Barry below.
Geronimo “Mondragon” Dos Santos, who is perhaps best known for getting steamrolled by Josh Barnett at an Impact FC event back in July of 2010, squared off against Rodrigo “Mamute” Da Silva last Friday. The match only lasted 58 seconds, but it was a Goddamn thrilling 58 seconds. After Dos Santos nearly got lawnchaired by a wild left hook at the fight’s 40 second mark, he managed to pop back to his feet and deliver a straight right that dropped his opponent to the mat like…well, like Pat Barry. A few unnecessary punches followed it up and this baby was all over. Need some more similarites to the Kongo/Barry fight? How about the “nuh-uh” hand gesture that Dos Santos gives to the crowd after that zombified comeback? That cheeky bastard.
Insane fact: Dos Santos has fought eighteen times in the past two years. Travis Fulton would approve.
(“I see no problem with this.” — Rousimar Palhares)
Perhaps in an ill-advised tribute to Kid Yamamoto, bantamweight veteran Seiya Kawahara went full you-know-what at Pancrase Progress Tour 3 on March 11th, utterly destroying Yuta Numakura with punches and soccer kicks in the first round, then continuing his attack when the referee — then several cornermen — attempted to restrain him. Nightmare of Battle explains what happened next:
No fight money, dropped off the Pancrase rankings, fight overturned to a no contest, and can’t compete in Pancrase pro or amateur events for 50 days. After losing the title fight with Manabu Inoue last year he has had trouble with injuries and this was his first fight in 10 months so I believe he got a little overexcited. His management said that this won’t happen again.
Yikes. I’d hate to see how Kawahara would act on a blind date after a long dry-spell. Check out the carnage after the jump…
(“I see no problem with this.” — Rousimar Palhares)
Perhaps in an ill-advised tribute to Kid Yamamoto, bantamweight veteran Seiya Kawahara went full you-know-what at Pancrase Progress Tour 3 on March 11th, utterly destroying Yuta Numakura with punches and soccer kicks in the first round, then continuing his attack when the referee — then several cornermen — attempted to restrain him. Nightmare of Battle explains what happened next:
No fight money, dropped off the Pancrase rankings, fight overturned to a no contest, and can’t compete in Pancrase pro or amateur events for 50 days. After losing the title fight with Manabu Inoue last year he has had trouble with injuries and this was his first fight in 10 months so I believe he got a little overexcited. His management said that this won’t happen again.
Yikes. I’d hate to see how Kawahara would act on a blind date after a long dry-spell. Check out the carnage after the jump…
(Props: Amazon.com, via CP reader “joe sons balls,” who claims that he randomly came upon one of Phil Baroni‘s old fetish-modeling gigs while searching for XTC t-shirts. Sure, buddy. Your secret’s safe with us.)
Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…
(Props: Amazon.com, via CP reader “joe sons balls,” who claims that he randomly came upon one of Phil Baroni‘s old fetish-modeling gigs while searching for XTC t-shirts. Sure, buddy. Your secret’s safe with us.)
Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere…
(Hey Donald, you let me know when you’re gonna stop armbarring me like my little sister. Sound good?)
I did something terrible this morning, Potato Nation. After waking up with blood on my hands and a splitting hangover beneath an underpass I did not recognize, I was forced to stumble across five miles of snow covered wasteland, wearing only one shoe mind you, to make it home. I fired up my computer to find a video of newly crowned UFC lightweight champion Ben Henderson competing in the 7th Arizona Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu International Open awaiting my viewership. In need of a pick me up, I watched it, figuring that there was no way in hell my boy “Smooth” would be submitted by this Daniel Grippaudo sumbitch, because, let’s be honest, Henderson CANNOT be submitted. We all know the first round anaconda loss to Rocky Johnson that soils his record was made up to prevent 155-pound grapplers from committing mass suicide. There is no “Rocky Johnson.” There never was.
Anyway, after watching the video that awaits you all after the jump, I proceeded to run to the nearest elementary school, steal the microphone from the principal, and inform those listening to the morning announcements that Santa was in fact a lie. Do I feel bad about it? Surely, but the point I was trying to make is simple: give up hope. The boundaries of life are disintegrating before our very eyes. Nothing is real anymore; Santa, your parents, Jesus, none of it. If it turns out that the following video is not, as I suspect, a complete fabrication, then I hold these truths to be self-evident.
Watch at your own risk.
(Hey Donald, you let me know when you’re gonna stop armbarring me like my little sister. Sound good?)
I did something terrible this morning, Potato Nation. After waking up with blood on my hands and a splitting hangover beneath an underpass I did not recognize, I was forced to stumble across five miles of snow covered wasteland, wearing only one shoe mind you, to make it home. I fired up my computer to find a video of newly crowned UFC lightweight champion Ben Henderson competing in the 7th Arizona Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu International Open awaiting my viewership. In need of a pick me up, I watched it, figuring that there was no way in hell my boy “Smooth” would be submitted by this Daniel Grippaudo sumbitch, because, let’s be honest, Henderson CANNOT be submitted. We all know the first round anaconda loss to Rocky Johnson that soils his record was made up to prevent 155-pound grapplers from committing mass suicide. There is no “Rocky Johnson.” There never was.
Anyway, after watching the video that rests just a mere paragraph away, I proceeded to run to the nearest elementary school, steal the microphone from the principal, and inform those listening to the morning announcements that Santa was in fact a lie. Do I feel bad about it? Surely, but the point I was trying to make is simple: give up hope. The boundaries of life are disintegrating before our very eyes. Nothing is real anymore; Santa, your parents, Jesus, none of it. If it turns out that the following video is not, as I suspect, a complete fabrication, then I hold these truths to be self-evident.
