Tag: Insanity

Alexander Emelianenko Got Engaged! While in Jail! Awaiting Trial!! For Sexual Assault!!1!


(He’ll fight for my love AND he bakes! *swoon*)

Love is…strange, Nation. It requires trust, understanding, patience, and occasionally, the willingness to look a convicted sex offender in the eyes and say “I do” from behind the bars of a Russian prison.

What? Haven’t you heard? Alexander Emelianenko — the very same who is currently awaiting trial for the sexual assault of a 27 year-old woman — recently got engaged to a living, breathing woman named Pauline, reports MMABoxing.ru. Break out the streamers! Fire up the band! Just make sure you tell them to keep it down!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, that just means that he’s prison engaged, if you know what I’m saying.” First off, don’t nudge me, and secondly, you’re wrong. According to BloodyElbow, “Emelianenko, through the request of his lawyer, got permission to marry inside the detention center. It also appears that it was his fiancé, Pauline, who proposed.”

So there you have it. Alexander Emelianenko is engaged to be married. And I have no one.


(He’ll fight for my love AND he bakes! *swoon*)

Love is…strange, Nation. It requires trust, understanding, patience, and occasionally, the willingness to look a convicted sex offender in the eyes and say “I do” from behind the bars of a Russian prison.

What? Haven’t you heard? Alexander Emelianenko — the very same who is currently awaiting trial for the sexual assault of a 27 year-old woman – recently got engaged to a living, breathing woman named Pauline, reports MMABoxing.ru. Break out the streamers! Fire up the band! Just make sure you tell them to keep it down!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, that just means that he’s prison engaged, if you know what I’m saying.” First off, don’t nudge me, and secondly, you’re wrong. According to BloodyElbow, “Emelianenko, through the request of his lawyer, got permission to marry inside the detention center. It also appears that it was his fiancé, Pauline, who proposed.”

So there you have it. Alexander Emelianenko is engaged to be married. And I have no one.

Alexander Emelianenko is on Russia’s “Most Wanted” list. In the past few years, the list of reprehensible offenses he has committed include (but are not limited to): assaulting a group of hecklers, assaulting a 63-year old veteran on his birthday, “hooliganism” on an aircraft, housekeeper abuse, and passport theft. Now, he is facing 4-6 years behind bars for allegedly drugging a chick and doing God knows what to her. By all accounts, he seems to be an absolute monster of an individual. He also might have Hepatitis.

Yet despite ALL OF THIS, he has found someone who is ready to commit their life to him in blissful matrimony forevermore. Someone who is willing to overlook his many (many, many) faults, who proposed TO HIM, and is eager to have the day she has always dreamed of commence from behind cold dirty Russian prison bars.

And I have no one.

It makes me wonder about God’s plan, is all.

–J. Jones

Croatian Boxer Knocks Out Referee, Is Dragged Out of the Ring by His Feet

(Angle 1, via joebiemel)

(Angle 2, with funky groove, via sportsviewlondon)
Things got a little out of hand yesterday at the European Youth Boxing Championship in Zagreb, Croatia, when a disgruntled Croat boxer named Vido Loncar went superheel and pu…


(Angle 1, via joebiemel)


(Angle 2, with funky groove, via sportsviewlondon)

Things got a little out of hand yesterday at the European Youth Boxing Championship in Zagreb, Croatia, when a disgruntled Croat boxer named Vido Loncar went superheel and punched out a referee following his match against Algirdas Baniulis of Lithuania. (See also: Yvel, Gilbert.) After dropping the ref with a savage right straight, Loncor continued to fire down shots from above. Meanwhile, Baniulis scampers out of the ring like a frightened cat. Eventually, about a dozen guys bum-rush the ring, and Loncor is dragged out by his heels. The ending of Nightmare on Elm Street comes to mind. Crazy.

Here’s What a UFC Magic the Gathering Set Looks Like

You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?

Well,there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen. Thankfully, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.

A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. All real photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog. Another card’s image comes from a YouTube screen capture (you’ll know which one).

With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:

You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?

Well, there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen.

Nae bother, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.

A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. Nearly all “real” photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog.

With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:

Even MORE cards await on page 2. Have at it!

Oh, This? Just a Double Knockout In a 2 on 1 Russian MMA Bout [VIDEO]

A freakshow MMA fan I may be, I must admit that I’ve never quite understood the appeal of 2 vs. 1 MMA, Tag Team MMA, or anything of the like (except for Hip Show, that is!). How something as blatantly tilted and insanely dangerous as having two trained fighters team up against one can even be legalized boggles my mind, and more or less plays into the notion that MMA is a trend sport in need of exploiting (except for Hip Show!).

That being said, I won’t act like I didn’t jump out of my seat while watching this video uncovered by the UG, wherein the clearly disadvantaged fighter knocks out *both* of his opponents in roughly 3 seconds. The fight took place somewhere in Siberia, of course, and that is literally all I know about this video, and quite frankly, all I need to know. Other than the fact that 2 vs. 1 fighting will never hold a candle to Hip Show.

Hip Show.

–J. Jones

A freakshow MMA fan I may be, I must admit that I’ve never quite understood the appeal of 2 vs. 1 MMA, Tag Team MMA, or anything of the like (except for Hip Show, that is!). How something as blatantly tilted and insanely dangerous as having two trained fighters team up against one can even be legalized boggles my mind, and more or less plays into the notion that MMA is a trend sport in need of exploiting (except for Hip Show!).

That being said, I won’t act like I didn’t jump out of my seat while watching this video uncovered by the UG, wherein the clearly disadvantaged fighter knocks out *both* of his opponents in roughly 3 seconds. The fight took place somewhere in Siberia, of course, and that is literally all I know about this video, and quite frankly, all I need to know. Other than the fact that 2 vs. 1 fighting will never hold a candle to Hip Show.

Hip Show.

–J. Jones

Anthony Johnson Issues Apology but Maintains He’s Innocent of Domestic Violence


(Photo via Getty)

Anthony Johnson has responded to the recent allegations of domestic abuse.

After Bloody Elbow posted the story, Johnson apologized on his Facebook page and absolved himself of guilt. He wrote the following:

I want to apologize to everybody for my language yesterday. It really sux being accused of something I didn’t do. So plz forgive my reaction to the whole situation. My day will come that I can prove I’m innocent. Thank you for the support! Without the fans and my close friends/family I wouldn’t be able to function. I love you all….

In case you didn’t read the account of Johnson’s alleged abuse on Bloody Elbow, here’s the rundown:


(Photo via Getty)

Anthony Johnson has responded to the recent allegations of domestic abuse.

After Bloody Elbow posted the story, Johnson apologized on his Facebook page and absolved himself of guilt. He wrote the following:

I want to apologize to everybody for my language yesterday. It really sux being accused of something I didn’t do. So plz forgive my reaction to the whole situation. My day will come that I can prove I’m innocent. Thank you for the support! Without the fans and my close friends/family I wouldn’t be able to function. I love you all….

In case you didn’t read the account of Johnson’s alleged abuse on Bloody Elbow, here’s the rundown:

Johnson allegedly hit is wife in 2012 and knocked out two of her teeth. More recently, his wife met with police. The police report claimed she was frightened of Johnson. She said she has had “several other verbal altercations” since the incident in 2012. She also believes she’s receiving threatening text messages from Johnson’s friends. Johnson’s wife also says she has a video of him hitting her.

We recommend you read the whole story here.

The UFC suspended Johnson indefinitely once the news broke.

“We are aware of the situation involving Anthony Johnson,” the UFC said. “As a result, we are suspending him indefinitely. We are using a third-party law firm to conduct a formal investigation and once we have more information, we’ll determine whether further course of action is necessary.

Johnson’s suspension is no surprise in light of the recent domestic abuse scandal that’s plagued the NFL (and even the UFC to a lesser extent with the firing, re-hiring, then re-firing of Thiago Silva).

If video surfaces of Anthony Johnson abusing his wife, it’s safe to say he’ll be out of the UFC for a long time. More updates on the story as we get them.

Is Fedor Coming to Bellator? Scott Coker “In Dialogue” With M-1


(Photo via Getty)

Scott Coker wants to see Fedor Emelianenko vs. Randy Couture.

Yes, it’s 2014 and whispers about this “dream fight” from ages past are still happening.

“That’s a fight I would personally love to see,” Coker said after Bellator 123. “But I just don’t know if it’s going to happen.”

When pressed as to why he was pessimistic, Coker cited Couture’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars.

However, Coker did not that he was currently talking with M-1 and was going to be speaking with Couture next.


(Photo via Getty)

Scott Coker wants to see Fedor Emelianenko vs. Randy Couture.

Yes, it’s 2014 and whispers about this “dream fight” from ages past are still happening.

“That’s a fight I would personally love to see,” Coker said after Bellator 123. “But I just don’t know if it’s going to happen.”

When pressed as to why he was pessimistic, Coker cited Couture’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars. However, Coker did not that he was currently talking with M-1 and was going to be speaking with Couture next.

“All I can say is that we’re in dialogue with M-1, but that’s all I have to say at this time about that,” he said about bringing the retired Fedor Emelianenko into Bellator.

And regarding Couture, Coker was equally mum.

“We’ll see him next. We’ll talk to him and see what he has to say.”

For the record, Couture is 51 years old and Emelianenko is 37. The UFC attempted to book this fight in 2007 and failed. Affliction tried to book this fight as well but ended up going out of business.

It seems that this fight is just one of MMA’s great “what-ifs.” And now that it’s 2014, it should stay that way.

Bellator seems to be obsessed with recreating MMA from 2007. While that seems like a smart goal–MMA in 2007 was great–you can’t recreate 2007 in MMA with 2007′s fighters. They’re all too old now. Recreating the MMA boom won’t come from recycling faded stars until they’re in their late 40s (or older in Couture’s case). While names are certainly important for Bellator, new talent is even more important. They obviously need to hire some names to draw attention to the product, but this attention should then be used to highlight younger prospects in the company, not some pipe dream from seven years ago or a some ridiculous, pro wrestling-like stunt.