‘UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans’ — Live Preliminary Card Results & Commentary

It’s finally almost time for UFC 145, which means we have some preliminary fights on FX to make snarky comments through. We have a fight between TUF champions turned gatekeepers Mac Danzig and Efrain Escudero, a matchup between Anthony Njokuani and John Makdessi, we find out if Matt Brown will live to fight another day against Stephen Thompson, and we get a heavyweight bout between Travis Browne and Chad Griggs to keep us entertained before the main card tonight. Grab a sammich and a bottle of the finest flavor of Night Train Express that the nearest gas station sells and join us for round-by-round results.

Live, round-by-round results from the UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans preliminary broadcast will be collecting after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato’s ultimate (weekend) warrior, Seth Falvo. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Please stand by.

It’s finally almost time for UFC 145, which means we have some preliminary fights on FX to make snarky comments through. We have a fight between TUF champions turned gatekeepers Mac Danzig and Efrain Escudero, a matchup between Anthony Njokuani and John Makdessi, we find out if Matt Brown will live to fight another day against Stephen Thompson, and we get a heavyweight bout between Travis Browne and Chad Griggs to keep us entertained before the main card tonight. Grab a sammich and a bottle of the finest flavor of Night Train Express that the nearest gas station sells and join us for round-by-round results.

Live, round-by-round results from the UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans preliminary broadcast will be collecting after the jump starting at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato’s ultimate (weekend) warrior, Seth Falvo. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know your thoughts in the comments section. Please stand by.

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Before we kick things off, does anyone want know why I chose a fan-made UFC 145 poster as the featured image for this liveblog? It’s because that poster took twice as much effort as the real poster and is about fifty times more terrifying. I chose to believe that it’s an indication of things to come tonight, be it devastating knockouts, arm-snapping submissions or just how badly I can misspell basic words of a language I’ve been speaking for my entire life while attempting to keep you all up to date on the action. Just thought I’d share that before we go live.

Cue the cheesy “This may be awesome” disclaimer, because WE ARE LIVE! Seriously though, FX, come up with something less terrible. And someone may want to tell Mike Goldberg how to pronounce “Hecho en Mexico” before the start of his fight against Mac Danzig.

Mac Danzig vs. Efrain Escudero

Too late.

Round One: They touch gloves, and we’re underway. They clinch up and exchange knees, with Danzig immediately pushing Escudero into the cage. Escudero reverses position and looks for a takedown, but Danzig reverses and earns a takedown of his own. Escudero works for a heel hook, and appears to have Danzig in trouble, but Mac escapes and takes Escudero’s back. Mac lets him back up, and Escudero lands a leg kick. Nice cross by Danzig. Danzig is landing some punches and doing a good job of avoiding Escudero’s, but Efrain doesn’t appear hurt by any of them. They clinch against the cage with Mac Danzig looking for a takedown. Danzig has Escudero’s back, but Efrain is doing a good job of staying on his feet. A “U-S-A! U-S-A!” chant breaks out as they separate and we’re back in the center of the cage. Escudero now rushes Danzig, trapping him against the cage looking for a takedown with twenty seconds left in the round. He is unsuccessful, and the round comes to an end.

Round Two: They touch gloves, and after aboutforty seconds of feeling each other out, Escudero lands a nice right hand. Danzig counters with a hard leg kick, and presses Escudero against the cage, kneeing Escudero in the thighs. Nice 1-2 from Escudero as he breaks free. The fans begin to boo the lack of action, as both guys are throwing heavy shots that are easily being avoided. Danzig has a much stronger clinch than Escudero, and has him back against the cage with ninety seconds left in the round. Escudero lands a knee from the clinch in the center of the cage, so naturally, Danzig pushes Escudero into the cage and works his wall-and-stall. Escudero unsuccessfully looks for another takedown as this round comes to an end.

Round Three: Danzig’s right ankle is jacked up, which explains his wall-and-stall heavy offense (if it can be called that). Nice leg kick from Danzig, followed by an attempted Superman punch. Escudero is back up against the cage, and lands a knee before Danzig works to take his back. He gives it up temporarily, and we’re back against the cage, with Danzig attempting to take Escudero’s back. You know what, I think I’ll just copy that sentence and paste it accordingly for the remainder of this one. Okay, now they’re free with ninety seconds left. Danzig is landing some nice punches to Escudero’s body, and doing a good job of avoiding Escudero’s wild striking. And we’re back against the cage, care to guess who has dominant position? This one mercifully comes to an end. It wasn’t pretty, but it looks like Mac Danzig has this one.

He does. Mac Danzig def. Efrain Escudero via unanimous decision, 30-27 x2, 29-28 x1. Let’s put this one behind us ASAP.

Anthony Njokuani vs. John Makdessi

Round One: They touch gloves and immediately exchange kicks. Njokuani is throwing a lot of head kicks to start this one off, and Makdessi throws a front leg side kick. And another. Nice leg kick by Njokuani. Makdessi returns with one of his own. Njokuani rushes in with a combo that doesn’t quite land, but the leg kick he punctuates it with does. Makdessi keeps throwing the front leg side kick, but it isn’t landing. Njokuani seems to have Makdessi wobbled by a left hook with two minutes left in the round, but doesn’t capitalize from it. Huge head kick attempted by Njokuani, but Makdessi blocks it. With one minute left in the round, Njokuani lands a head kick, but Makdessi doesn’t seem hurt. Makdessi throws the side kick again, as both men are playing it safe as this round comes to an end.

Round Two: Makdessi throws the side kick straight at Njokuani’s head, but it’s blocked. Nice body kick by Makdessi. Spinning back kick from Makdessi, but Njokuani avoids it. Njokuani throws a head kick, but it’s blocked. That’s pretty much the story of this fight so far, come to think of it. They clinch up with three minutes left, and Makdessi lands some good strikes. Nice leg kicks now from Njokuani. Makdessi checks a leg kick, and this crowd begins to boo. Another leg kick from Njokuani, and Makdessi’s left leg is bright red. Njokuani catches a kick and looks to rush Makdessi, but Makdessi lands a counter punch and Njokuani backs away. Makdessi attempts a takedown as this round comes to an end.

Round Three: Makdessi is told by his corner that he’s behind on the scorecards, but he isn’t being overly aggressive as the round begins. We’re one minute into this round, and the crowd begins to boo as Njokuani lands another leg kick. Njokuani jabs at Makdessi’s body, and Makdessi throws a leg kick. Makdessi lands a spinning backfist, but doesn’t capitalize on it. Joe Rogan sounds bored as Makdessi keeps attempting the front kick that isn’t landing at all, and lands a spinning back kick to Njokuani’s body that had zero power behind it. Body kick Njokuani. Only thirty seconds left, and Makdessi has to start trying to look for the knockout. He attempts a wheel kick that completely misses, the crowd boos loudly and this one comes to a close.

Sheesh, that disclaimer looks more ridiculous by the second. It’s tough to say that either fighter deserves a victory here, but Njokuani will probably win this one.

He does. Anthony Njokuani def. John Makdessi via unanimous decision, 30-27 x3.

Matt Brown vs. Stephen Thompson

Round One: They touch gloves, and Wonderboy immediately throws a kick. Brown attempts a takedown, which Thompson stuffs easily. Thompson stuffs another takedown, as Brown pushes Wonderboy into the cage looking for another takedown. He eventually gets it, and winds up in Thompson’s guard. Brown throws some heavy punches, but they miss Thompson entirely. Thompson’s corner yells for an upkick, as Brown attempts a leg lock. He gives up on it, as Thompson is back on his feet. Brown keeps Thompson against the cage, as Thompson reverses the position. Brown earns a takedown, and takes Thompson’s back. Wonderboy does a nice job of getting back to his feet, but Brown holds on and eventually drags him back down. Brown looks for a calf crank, and Thompson throws hammerfists in order to get out. Brown ends up in Thompson’s half guard, and throws punches to Wonderboy’s body as this round comes to an end.

I wasn’t expecting Thompson to have a great ground game or anything…but damn.

Round Two: They touch gloves, and Thompson begins throwing punches to keep Brown outside. Brown gets Thompson against the cage and earns a takedown, but Thompson gets up immediately. They clinch, and Brown attempts an extremely telegraphed takedown that actually gets Thompson down. They’re back up, and Thompson lands a head kick. Brown is hurt, with Thompson looking for the finish. Nice spinning back kick from Thompson. Brown is wobbled and tired, and desperately attempts a takedown that momentarily gets Wonderboy down. Joe Rogan wonders out loud “How does Thompson manage to get taken down by this?” as Thompson gets back up. Brown is badly hurt, and his counter kicks are coming at laughably slow speeds. Thompson is too tired to put him away though. Brown lands a HUGE counter elbow than drops Thompson, and Brown is now in Thompson’s guard dropping elbows. Thompson is cut and Brown is raining down punches from side control as this round comes to an end. Didn’t see that one coming.

The crowd gives a loud ovation for the only action they’ve seen so far tonight. Can’t wait to see how this one plays out.

Round Three: Brown comes out looking to finish Thompson, but Thompson breaks free. Wonderboy falls down after landing a leg kick, and both men are clearly exhausted. Another laughably slow head kick from Brown. Dare I call it a Brazilian kick attempt? It kind of looks like that’s what he just tried. Thompson now rocks Brown with a 1-2 combo, and Brown gets Wonderboy against the cage and immediately earns a takedown. They’re back up, and Brown lands a nice knee with 2:30 left. They clinch, and Brown earns a leg trip, elbowing Thompson in the head. Brown earns side control, looking for a crucifix. With one minute left, Brown gets the crucifix and works for a mounted triangle. He throws some punches to Thompson’s head, which is bleeding like crazy as this fight comes to an end.

Gutsy performance from Matt Brown. He easily takes this one.

Official Decision: Matt Brown def. Stephen Thompson by unanimous decision, 30-27 x2, 29-28 x1

Time for our last bout of the evening. At least our last preliminary bout.

Travis Browne vs. Chad Griggs

Round One: Leg kick Griggs. Browne with a huge flying knee, and throws some more knees to the body. Browne looks for a takedown, but Griggs shows good takedown defense. At least for a few seconds, as Browne slams Griggs and ends up in side control. Browne mounts Griggs, and works for an arm-triangle. Browne gets it, and Griggs throws some punches before going completely out. Total domination by Travis Browne.

Browne looks into the camera and asks us: “A submission? A SUBMISSION? THAT’S a submission.” Yes it is, Travis. Yes. It. Is.

Travis Browne def. Chad Griggs via submission (arm-triangle choke), 2:29 of Round One.

Looks like my work here is done. Enjoy the main card.

‘UFC on FUEL 2: Gustafsson vs. Silva’ — Live Results & Commentary


(Don’t worry — in case the staredown gets too intense, Joe Silva will step in and helplessly flail his little arms at them. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Today, the land of hot blondes and incoherent chefs will host its first-ever UFC event, headlined by Sweden’s fastest-rising contender. Standing in Alexander Gustafsson‘s way is Thiago Silva, the dependably vicious light-heavyweight veteran who’s coming off his one-year suspension for a funny urine test. In the co-main event, real American hero Brian Stann throws down against Alessio Sakara, while names like Paulo Thiago, Dennis Siver, and Brad Pickett fill out what should be a very entertaining afternoon of fights.

Handling play-by-play for the main card is Josh Hutchinson, a man I know very little about. Will he rise to the occasion, or blow his one shot at greatness? There’s just so much on the line today, folks. Round-by-round results from the FUEL TV broadcast, live from Stockholm’s Ericsson Globe Arena, will be piling up after the jump starting at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.


(Don’t worry — in case the staredown gets too intense, Joe Silva will step in and helplessly flail his little arms at them. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Today, the land of hot blondes and incoherent chefs will host its first-ever UFC event, headlined by Sweden’s fastest-rising contender. Standing in Alexander Gustafsson‘s way is Thiago Silva, the dependably vicious light-heavyweight veteran who’s coming off his one-year suspension for a funny urine test. In the co-main event, real American hero Brian Stann throws down against Alessio Sakara, while names like Paulo Thiago, Dennis Siver, and Brad Pickett fill out what should be a very entertaining afternoon of fights.

Handling play-by-play for the main card is Josh Hutchinson, a man I know very little about. Will he rise to the occasion, or blow his one shot at greatness? There’s just so much on the line today, folks. Round-by-round results from the FUEL TV broadcast, live from Stockholm’s Ericsson Globe Arena, will be piling up after the jump starting at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

Helllloooo Potato Nation, and welcome back from the UFC’s
version of spring break. In breaking the drought of live fights, we today look
to Sweden’s inaugural UFC event (Fun Fact: this is the fastest selling European
event in UFC history, selling out in a mere three hours). That being said we
can look forward to a great night early afternoon of fights. To those of
you asking “who the hell is this guy?” Great question. I’ve been lurking the
Cage Potato site for a couple of years now, but stay out of the comments
section. This is also my first live blog, so feel free to be your usual
understanding and supportive selves in the comments (Note: I can’t seem to find
the sarcasm font), but enough of the buildup. Like a dude that hasn’t gotten
his rocks off in far too long, we are here to break a drought. So without
further adieu, LETS GET IT ON!!!

 

Prelim Results:

Jason Young defeats Eric Wisely via unanimous decision

Simeon Thoresen defeats Besam Yousef via 2nd round submission (Rear Naked Choke)

Reza Madadi defeats Yoislandy Izquierdo via 2nd round submission (Guillotine Choke)

Francis Carmont defeats Magnus Cedenblad via 2nd round submission (Rear Naked Choke)

Cyrille Diabate defeats Tom DeBlass via Split Decision

James Head defeats Papy Abedi via 1st round submission (Rear Naked Choke)

Time for the main card. Subtitles all around for our headliners in the pre fight hype videos.

We are Roganless, but get Kenny Florian in place for the announcing duties.

We start the…day (seems strange) with a bantamweight fight between Brad “One Punch” Pickett and Damacio “Angel of Death” Page.

So the UFC is claiming Jones and Evans to be the biggest rivalry in UFC history. Thoughts?

Damacio Page vs. Brad Pickett

Round 1

Both men come out swinging, with Page ending up on his back. After a short flurry on the ground both men stand up. Both guys throwing heavy punches. Page with a take-down, and works to side control before Pickett escapes back to his feet. Pickett with a take-down now and gets side control. Both men scrambling. Pickett lands a few heavy shots from Pages guard. Pickett staying busy in the guard with short elbows. Pickett lets him up after Page hints at a triangle. Pickett with another take down after a failed flying knee, but scrambles back up. Only to be taken down again in the final ten seconds.

Round 2

Page looking to shoot. Pickett with a nice slam off the fence, but doesn’t keep him down. In the standup Pickett drops Page with a left, and looks to swarm, but Page defends well. Alot of jockeying for position on the ground. Page sweeps Pickett into guard. They take it back to the feet where Pickett hits Page with some big shots. Page is rocked and Pickett shoots. After some jockeying on the ground Pickett secures a rear naked choke to cement his first UFC win.

Brad Pickett defeats Damacio Page via 2nd round submisson (Rear Naked Choke)

Damarques “Darkness” Johnson Vs. John “The One” Maguire

Round 1

Both men in a feeling out process. Maguire eventually shoots for, and gets a takedown. Darkness with with a great display of attempted submissions and transitions, leaving Maguire needing to be defensive in his guard. Maguire to half guard, before securing side control. Maguire with some hammer fists starts a scramble that ends up with Maguire having Johnsons back at the end of the round.

Round 2

Round starts with Maguire landing a good left and looking for a takedown, but Johnson reverses and ends up on top. Maguire eventually gets up after eating some heavy shots. Back on the feet Maguire looks either hurt or bullshiting. Either way Johnson ties up, but Maguire ends up with the takedown in the end. A bit of stalling on the ground illicits some boos from the Swedish crowd. As if powered by it Maguire transitions quickly and secures a very tight armbar late in the 2nd.

John Maguire defeats Damarques Johnson via 2nd round submission (Arm Bar)

Seems to be a rather submission heavy night. So far though I would have to call that the leading runner for submission of the night.

Dennis Siver Vs. Diego “The Gun” Nunes

Siver making his featherweight debut here. After his trouble making weight yesterday, it will be interesting to see if it effects him at all.

Round 1

Both men trying to find their range. Siver throwing alot of kicks, most of them to no avail. Siver grabs a single leg, but can’t complete it. Nunes trys a spinning backfist, but it doesn’t land. Both men exchanging kicks. Nunes attempts a flying left head kick for some reason. Needless to say it doesn’t land. Both men seem to be looking for the big counter shot. Another spinning back kick attempt from Nunes. After a quick clinch the round ends with both men on their feet.

Round 2

Nunes comes out with another spinning head kick. Both fighters still appear to be finding their range. They trade some leg kicks. Nunes catches a kick to the pills, but gets right back into it. Siver trys a takedown, but fails. Siver now trying some spinning back kicks. A quick clinch sees Siver land a nice right hand upon the break. Both men still throwing at the bell takes us into round 3.

Round 3

Both men come out throwing. Nunes still trying the spinning kicks. Very close standup battle between the two. Siver trying to find a home for his overhand right. Nunes still trying for a spinning kick of some sort. A cut opens under Siver’s eye, not sure what caused it though. Siver swarms with some heavy shots, and Nunes finally hits one of his attempted spinning attacks in the form of a kick to the mid-section. The final seconds of the fight sees both men standing and ready to throw.

We go to the judges, And the nod goes to Siver in a hard fought bout.

Denis Siver defeats Diego Nunes via decision

Paulo Thiago Vs. Siyar “The Great” Bahadurzada

Bahadurzada making his UFC debut against the Brazillian. Thats a whole lot of name that the newcomer has, so I’m just going to call him The Great.

Round 1

Both men seem hesitant. Finally Thiago rushes in with punches, but The Great dicknails him coming in with a quick right jab, and Thiago is out cold roughly 40 seconds into the fight. Ladies and gentlemen, We have our knockout of the night candidate.

Siyar “The Great” Bahadurzada defeats Paulo Thiago via 1st round KO

The Great claims to have had a broken hand going into the fight, which if is true…god damn, he’s one to watch.

“The All American” Brian Stann vs. Alessio ”Legionarius” Sakara

Stann looking to rebound from his recent loss to middleweight number 1 contender Chael Sonnen, whereas Sakara is also looking to get back to his winning ways after Chris Weidman snapped his 3 fight win streak.

Round 1

Stann with alot of bobbing and weaving, but Sakara does catch him with a good one. Both men start throwing, but after a couple knees from Stann, Sakara finds himself on his back. In Sakara’s guard, Stann connects with two lefts that puts Sakara out. Refusing to add insult to injury Stann looks to the ref to stop it, which thankfully he does.

Brian Stann defeats Alessio Sakara via 1st round KO

Since the last two fights resulted in KO’s Fuel viewers are now treated to a James Head vs. Papi Abedi replay, and what I’m sure to be a shit load more Rashad vs. Bones promos.  The Head/Abedi fight was a good one, but we have already exposed that outcome, so on to the main event.

Alexander Gustafsson vs. Thiago Silva

Big night day here for both men, as Gustafsson trys his hand at a step up in competition, and Silva looks to rebound from a hot piss test and over a year off from fighting. Any final predictions Potato Nation? As is par for the course we get a traditional Buffer 180 in the announcements, and it’s time to fight.

Round 1
Both men come out swinging before deciding to step back and find thier range. The Swede lands a left that drops Silva, but they quickly go back to the feet. More big shots from Gustaffson and Silva is cut. Sweden really getting behind their hometown boy here, but he is getting the better of the standup. Gustaffson looking sharp in the standup, as he throws both punches and kicks aplenty. Silva doing some damage with leg kicks. Silva still smiling and taunting Gustaffson. Both men happy to end the round standing and trading.

Round 2

The round starts with Gustaffson getting a trip, but Silva gets right back up. Announcers making alot of Gustafsson to Jon Jones comparisons, for some reason. Gustaffson still getting the better of the standup with his long reach. Silva lands a nice right hook that puts Gustafsson on his heels, but not for long. Both men connecting sporadically. Gustafsson hits a spinning back kick to the midsection, rather impressive. A couple more shots by each men takes us to the 3rd.

Round 3

Gustaffson looking very loose on his feet. Gustafsson landing well with the uppercut, Silva not doing so bad with the over-hand right. Gustafsson looking to throw knees now. Silva still keeping it interesting though. Silva attacking with leg kicks. Silva starting to look rather winded at this point, but pressing on. Gustafsson still landing shots almost at will. Silva stalking in the final seconds, but can’t land much of anything, and thats the fight. Hmm.  so no 5 round main event, again, but if we are all good Dana Claus might give it to us by December. In no ones surprise Gustafsson  takes the nod.

Alexander Gustafsson defeats Thiago Silva via unanimous decision

Well Potato Nation, I’d say it was another great night day of action.Its been fun, that being said I’m far too sober after having watched live fights, and that needs to be remedied, So until next time, stay classy Potato Nation.

HUTCH

 

 

‘Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey’ — Live Results + Commentary


(Scott Coker: “Whooaa.” That other dude: “Niiiiiiice.” / Photo courtesy of facebook.com/StrikeforceMixedMartialArts)

Welcome, friends, to the most bonerrific highly-anticipated women’s bantamweight fight in MMA history. Seven months after winning the Strikeforce 135-pound strap, Miesha Tate will attempt to make her first title defense against arm-snapping fire-cracker Ronda Rousey. And that’s just the cherry on top of a loaded fight card that also features two former Strikeforce champions (Josh Thomson, Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza), a pack of crowd-pleasing sluggers (Paul Daley, Scott Smith, KJ Noons), and the return of former PRIDE welterweight grand prix champion Kazuo Misaki.

Handling our liveblog for this evening is Steve Silverman, who will be posting round-by-round results for the Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey main card after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own brilliant opinions and observations into the comments section.


(Scott Coker: “Whooaa.” That other dude: “Niiiiiiice.” / Photo courtesy of facebook.com/StrikeforceMixedMartialArts)

Welcome, friends, to the most bonerrific highly-anticipated women’s bantamweight fight in MMA history. Seven months after winning the Strikeforce 135-pound strap, Miesha Tate will attempt to make her first title defense against arm-snapping fire-cracker Ronda Rousey. And that’s just the cherry on top of a loaded fight card that also features two former Strikeforce champions (Josh Thomson, Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza), a pack of crowd-pleasing sluggers (Paul Daley, Scott Smith, KJ Noons), and the return of former PRIDE welterweight grand prix champion Kazuo Misaki.

Handling our liveblog for this evening is Steve Silverman, who will be posting round-by-round results for the Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey main card after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please toss your own brilliant opinions and observations into the comments section.

Mauro Ranallo … what a jive-ass putting on his phony radio voice…. No doubt that Miesha Tat and Ronda Rousey will put on a sterling show…

Tate is a very solid-looking fighter … and a stunning babe… and Rousey may not be ready for her just yet….

Jacare Souza and Bristol Marunde will get the night started….

Steve Silverman here and happy to be bringing the action to you ….

Marunde has won 9 of his last 10 fights….Souza is a take-down artist who will try to put Marunde on his back and punish him.

Souza trains with Anderson Silva, soyou know that makes him a real badass….

Jacare starts with a straight right and he is boxing early. … Marunde looking to switch between righty and southpaw…

Both fighters looking for an opening .. Hard right by Jacare and then a takedown. Marunde working a pyramid….

Short hard right by Jacare that drops Marunde… Jacare has his back… and is getting in knee strikes…Jacare domination in the first round..Marunde does very little damage as first round ends.

Jacare pounding away as Marunde covers up. Uppercuts and pounding punches…Strikes to back of head by Jacare and he breaks them….

 

Round 2….

Roundhouse right by Marunde misses badly and then lands a short right and then another….

Jacare with two big kicks and Marunde has his face against the cage. Jacare gets his back but Marunder escapes….

Jacare is very patient….and that doesn’t make for a lot of action…but he is in charge.Knee by Jacare to the chin of Marunde

Kick and then left-hand body shot to Jacare. Then another. both are short and powerful…Nice kick by Marunde. Right hand by Jacare…

Two overhand rights by Jacare…and a hard takedown by Jacare….

Round 3…

Jacare takes Marunde down and is on his back. Jacare trying to get his right hand loose…

Marunde is cut high on the forehead. Jacare delivering right hands to Marunde and he is getting hit with  lot fo punches….

Jacare getting in his hook and he is punishing Marunde. He can’t get loose and is just a defensive fighter. Then Jacare gets the side-triangle choke and Marunde submits….

Jacare was able to win this fight without taking any real punishment himself. He trapped Marunde’s arm and choked him out….

Jacare wins via submission in the third round….

 

Scott Smith vs. Lumumba Sayers coming up next….

Sayers brings a record of 5-2 into this fight while Smith comes in with a record of 18-9 and 1 no contest…He has lost three in a row…

Smith’s a little chubby around the middle; Sayers with a 3-inch reach advantage…

 

Sayers with a straight right hand… another right hand and then throws Smith on his back. H e sinks in a hook and starts punishing….

Great throw down by Sayers…. gets in guillotine choke and it’s over… Smith wins big….

CORRECTION… SAYERS WINS BIG….

Smith got thrown down and couldn’t react… Sayers started pounding and then got in his guillotine. Another first-round win by Sayers… All his fights are one-rounders, six wins and two losses…1:34 is the official time.

Smith looks absolutely done as he suffers his fourth straight loss. He offered no resistance…

 

Kazuo Miskai vs. Paul Daleyy coming up next….

Misaki is 24-11-2 and is from Tokyo….

Misaki has a big right hand but he likes to use takedowns…. Incredible cauliflower left ear…

Daley, from London, has won two fights in a row….However, he has problems with wrestlers and grapplers, so Misaki could give him a problem…

Daley tries a right roundhouse kick.. Daley with jabs, but thy are not landing…Misaki with overhand right….

Misaki drives through with takedown…Misaki lets him get back up. Right kick to midsection…

Misaki to body and then to head… Daley looks slow and wwkwrd. yo cna tll he’s strong but slow. Misaki hits him hard to jaw… Misaki taking charge….

Daley takes Misaki down but Misaki gets his legs around him and he is controlling from bottom. Daley gets in a couple of bombs at end of the round…

 Round 2….

Jab and body kick by Misaki.. Knee by Misaki.

Daley having a hard time gtting his punches in. Misaki is a little quicker and making himself hard to hit…. Misaki getting better of exchanges… Daley takes down Misaki but Misaki is comfortable….

Daley trying to work over the ribs… ref calls for more action… wild left by Daley but it misses. Misaki gives up his back.

Misaki flips positions and he is on top in last minute..ref breaks them because action is nil..Misaki with overhand right and then a kick.

Round 3

Daley needs a big round to win this fight… right kick by Misaki…Left jab by Daley, good counter by Misaki….

Daley with  a couple of left jabs and then throws Misaki down….elbow by Daley and Misaki is cut badly…

Bad cut over Misaki’s left eye but doctor allows fight to continue… Complete bloodbath…

Daley looks tired. He has a target in that cut to go after but Misaki is coming back after Daley. Misaki also has a broken nose but he is not backing down going into final minute.

Daley gets takedown but Misaki gets right up. Daley looks so tired but he tris to rally with takedown and he doesn’t get it….

It’s over and it will go to scorecards….

Daley did so much damage with a big elbow. He ripped a big cut and also broke Misaki’s nose. Misaki seemed to get in most of the other damaging blows…

Misaki will need stitches to get that cut closed… waiting on decision….

stats are all in favor of Misaki…and Misaki gets the decision….

It is a split decision … Misaki controlled much of the fight … except for getting cut badly. But Misaki wins….

 

Next fight….

Josh Thomson (18-3-1) vs K.J. Noons (10-3)

Thomson is a great grappler while Noons wants to stay on his feet…

Ronda Rousey looked she wanted to hammer Heidi Androl during interview… Rousey looks like she means business….Does she have enough to throw at Tate?

Noons and Thomson are good friends outside the ring….

Just about ready to go…

Round 1 coming….

Thomson with a front kick to the jaw….Thomson a bit quicker….

Thomson push kicks are dangerous… Thomson looking for a takedown…Noons measuring him and trying to get in his jab….

Thomson gets the takedown and he is working to keep control…Noons trying to get back to his feet…

Noons looks comfortable sitting and ref may break them up for lack of action. Noons trapped on side of cage….

Thomson in control but not getting in many shots…fans booing because there’s not enough action…

Round 2 is coming and the fans did not like Round 1…slight advantage for Thomson…

Superman punch by Noons but it doesn’t do much damage… Thomson slips, Noons on top but reversal by Thomson…

Throw down by Thomson and that means that he is on top… but no real action…Thomson now trying to throw elbows and Noons trying to do the same from the bottom….

Thomson with a right hand and needs to throw more punches… end of round two…

Referee stands them up. because the action is lacking. Noons letting go with uppercuts…Noons is cut over left eye….

Noons gets in a right hand but Thomson takes him down with about a minute to go in round.

Noons bleeding from left eye but he doesn’t seem hurt badly.

Round Three coming….

Good takedown by Thomson… choke triangle by Thomson.. it’s in deep…..

Noons gets loose for a second, but Thomson get the choke and is in control….Noons just trying to survive. He’s not fighting back….

Thomson with elbows and hammer fists. Noons is tired and in pain….

Now Thomson is in charge, delivering aggressive forearms and elbows…less than a minute to go. Thomson with ground and pound. Noons is shut down…

Noons a couple of weak punches and Thomson with a knee to close….

Waiting for the decision. Thomson should get unanimous decision….

AND HERE’S THE DECISION… THOMSON WINS AND IT’S UNANIMOUS…

It was kind of boring… Thomson tells Ranallo that his performance tonight was “shit.” Conditioning was shit and so was fight. It was a boring fight….

TATE VS. ROUSEY COMING UP!!!

Just about ready for the main event….

Both fighters are top grapplers, but Rousey lacks experience. She is very aggressive.  Tate can win on the ground or if she keeps it standing….

Rousey has four wins in 138 seconds of total action….Tate wants to make Rousey “bleed her own blood….

Both of these fighters are red-hot and sexy dolls….I love these good-looking hard-asses…

Rousey seems totally confident despite lack of experience….

Tate is angry because Rousey said she could beat up Tate and Tate’s boyfriend….

Tate may hit harder than Gina Carano — another babe….

Round 1 coming up….

Look for this to be a short fight… 1 or 2 rounds….

Here we go….

 

Misha Tate with flurry and Rousey takes her down.  RRousey  has her

Tate gets loose and escapes. Rousey had her arm bar….but Tate got away…

Tate looking choke. Rousey escapes and hit her with left. Rousey looking for throw and she brings down Tte.

Rousey tosses Tate and she looks like she is stronger. Ground and pound for Rousey….

Rousey gets the arm bar and she wins the fight. She may have broken Tate’s arm….

Rousey is some angry fighter. Great strength and technique to go long with killer instinct. Tate did not want to quit and she paid a big price…..

Rousey used her hips to throw Tate a couple of times. Big night for Rousey. Experience didn’t matter because Rousey was too powerful and tough….

4;27 of first Round… Rousey is new champion… She’s all smiles now….

 

Good night and hope you enjoyed it….

 

UFC on FX: Alves vs. Kampmann — Live Results and Commentary


(Three hours later, Thiago Alves weighed in at nearly 200 lbs. There’s no punchline coming, that just needed to be said.) 

Tonight’s UFC on FUEL event marks a lot of firsts for the fighters involved. Guys like Joseph BenavidezCole Miller, and Demetrious Johnson will be testing the waters in new weight divisions, even if some were forced to violate a certain CagePotato ban whilst doing so. This evening will also mark the debut of not only the 125 pound flyweight division, but that of two possible future title contenders in said division, Ian “Uncle Creepy” McCall and Yasuhiro Urushitani. It’s amazing, no, inspiring to know that the rosy-cheeked, industrious members of the Lollipop Guild have finally reached Emerald City; they’re almost like people now. I salute their Herculean accomplishment, and encourage everyone reading this to follow your own yellow brick road, so to speak, in their honor.

Anyway, join me, Jared Jones, as I liveblog tonight’s event, starting at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. Refresh your page every so often, and if I’m not piss drunk by the time this thing starts, we might just make it all the way to the end.


(Three hours later, Thiago Alves weighed in at nearly 200 lbs. There’s no punchline coming, that just needed to be said.) 

Tonight’s UFC on FUEL event marks a lot of firsts for the fighters involved. Guys like Joseph BenavidezCole Miller, and Demetrious Johnson will be testing the waters in new weight divisions, even if some were forced to violate a certain CagePotato ban whilst doing so. This evening will also mark the debut of not only the 125 pound flyweight division, but that of two possible future title contenders in said division, Ian “Uncle Creepy” McCall and Yasuhiro Urushitani. It’s amazing, no, inspiring to know that the rosy-cheeked, industrious members of the Lollipop Guild have finally reached Emerald City; they’re almost like people now. I salute their Herculean accomplishment, and encourage everyone reading this to follow your own yellow brick road, so to speak, in their honor.

Anyway, join me, Jared Jones, as I liveblog tonight’s event, starting at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT. Refresh your page every so often, and if I’m not piss drunk by the time this thing starts, we might just make it all the way to the end.

Preliminary Results
-Shawn Jordan def. Oli Thompson via TKO (strikes) – Round 2, 1:07
-T.J. Waldburger def. Jake Hecht via submission (armbar) – 0:55 of round 1
-Daniel Pineda def. Mackens Semerzier via submission (triangle armbar) – 2:05 of round 1
-Andrew Craig def. Kyle Noke via unanimous decision
– Steven Siler def. Cole Miller via unanimous decision
-Anthony Perosh def. Nick Penner via TKO (punches) – 4:59 of round 1
-James Te Huna def. Aaron Rosa via TKO (punches) – 2:08 of round 1

It’s Friday night, so let’s play a drinking game, Potato Nation. The rules are simple:

-If Mike Goldberg or Joe Rogan Kenny Florian or Jon Anik talk about Court McGee‘s battle with drugs and/or near death experience, drink. Matter of fact, same rules apply if they mention Ian McCall’s battle with drugs/near death experience. I wonder if they sponsor each other?
-Speaking of McCall, if he does anything remotely reminiscent of his nickname, drink for that too.
-And speaking of McGee, if he gets finished by way of (T)KO, finish your drink.
-Each time Demetrious Johnson completes a takedown, or is described as “explosive,” drink.
-If Joseph Benavidez’s win over Miguel Torres is mentioned, finish your drink.
-Each time one of Thiago Alves‘ leg kicks make you cry on the inside, drink twice to hide the fact that you are a little sissy bitch.
-If Kampmann loses by decision, order a round for the bar.

That should do it. Now, let’s get to the fights…

Court McGee vs. Constantinos Philippou

A couple notes from the prelims: Steve Siler is now 2-0 against the other Miller brothers, and fighters claiming to be 0-0 are now 0-2. That said, the fight was a war, and you should definitely check it out. Also, James Te Huna may throw the angriest punches in the entire sport. If his fight with Aaron Rosa had been stopped any later, we might have witnessed the first casualty in UFC History.

Round 1: One of the bad guys from the original Hills Have Eyes is our referee. McGee controlling the center to start. Court lands a right hook. Consta with a combo. Then a left. Then an uppercut and a left hook. McGee tries a head kick on the break. Consta with a straight right and an overhand right. McGee misses a kick and Consta goes to the body. Another right from Philippou. McGee still coming forward, but isn’t throwing much. McGee lands a left hook in a brief exchange, then tries a double leg which gets stuffed. McGee with a left that appeared to stun Consta as the round ends.

Round 2: McGee gets tagged with a left hook, then whiffs a combo. Consta is definitely landing the better punches, but they aren’t fazing Court all that much. McGee with a kick to the body, then tries another takedown which is stuffed. Consta with another nice 1-4 combo. McGee with a switch kick to the body. Consta lands a big uppercut and a knee and McGee presses him against the fence. A couple left hooks by Consta find their mark. Another uppercut lands on McGee. Then another. McGee tries a spinning elbow, then a takedown; neither are successful. Round ends on a nice exchange. I got Philippou up by 2 after 2.

Round 3: Consta with a left hook to the body. McGee needs to get aggressive fast. He lands an uppercut and a right hook, clearly heeding my words. A kick to the Consta’s groin stalls the action briefly. McGee with a kick to the body, then tries for a single. He gets Consta down for a moment, but can’t keep him there. Now Consta tries a takedown, but fails. Court lands a leg kick but gets tagged by a left. Court tries a wheel kick that misses, then another spinning elbow. Body kick McGee. Court needs a finish, but eats a nice leg kick. Court tries for another takedown, but Consta ain’t having it. Head kick blocked by Consta. Same for the takedown. McGee just misses a spinning backfist and this one will reach the judges scorecards.

Constantinos Philippou def. Court McGee via unanimous decision. 

Ian McCall vs. Demetrious Johnson

And we are all set for the first flyweight fight in the history of the UFC.

Round 1: Leon Roberts is our referee. Inside leg kick Johnson. Then he goes outside. McCall gets a takedown on the trip, and quickly moves to half guard. Now in side guard, but Johnson reverses, and lands a left hook on the break. Now Johnson with a right, and McCall answers. Johnson with a double jab. McCall lands another trip takedown. Johnson gets up quickly, and lands a right hook. Johnson tries a spinning back kick. Stiff jab by Johnson who attempts a takedown and catches McCall with a right hook on the break that rocks McCall for a moment. McCall stuffs a takedown, then lands a nice inside leg kick. Johnson throws a high kick which is blocked. Close round, but McCall probably took it for the pair of takedowns.

Round 2: Johnson grabs a single. Both men swinging away now along the fence. Johnson lands a left hook charging in. A couple of rights land for Johnson. A McCall kick goes South and we take a break. Johnson lands a kick to the body. Nice exchange, but Johnson seems to be the wicker man. Kind of surprising considering it’s his first fight at 125. McCall lands with a kick to the body. They clinch and McCall lands some knees. Johnson tries a head kick which is blocked. McCall clinches and lands a couple more knees. Body kick Johnson. Nice jab by Johnson, who clinches to bring the round to an end.

Round 3: Leg kick McCall. Johnson whiffs a front kick and a 1-2 combo. McCall appears to get hit in the groin, but the fight continues. Johnson tries a takedown, but eats a knee to the body. Nice inside leg kick by Johnson. Mighty Mouse tries a flying knee but winds up on his back. McCall in half guard, then tries for mount, but Johnson rolls out. McCall with a nice slam, and now he’s got Johnson’s back! McCall has him flattened out and is landing some nice punches. McCall tries to crossface Johnson, who springs up and out of trouble. McCall tries a front choke, but gets Johnson on his back and moves into mount again. McCall trying to finish Sakuraba style with some double hammerfists, and finishes the round putting a beating on Johnson. Good fight. I think it goes to Johnson McCall, but it’s close.

Demetrious Johnson wins by split decision, the crowd is not happy. McCall storms off. 

Miguel Torres just tweeted, and I quote, “Holy fuck, Demetrious Johnson must have Santa Clause in his corner, he keeps on getting gifts.” ZING! The FX sound crew just had to mute the audience to quell the cries of “Bullshit.” So much for the sudden death round…

Joseph Benavidez vs. Yasuhiro Urushitani 

Can I ask what the deal is with these GoDaddy.com commercials? Is it a porn site? A domain name website? Both? Maybe if Danica Patrick spent a little less time not sucking at Nascar she could explain these things to me.

Round 1: “Uru” misses a leg kick to star, and Benavidez lands one to the outside. A pair of rights lands for Joe. Body kick Benavidez. Nice right hook by Uru. Benavidez clinches and throws a few knees to Uru’s legs. Another body kick from team Alpha Male, and he clinches again and works a single leg. Uru tries to fend it off but gets taken down. Benavidez moves to half guard, then mount. He’s got Uru’s back now, working a rear-naked choke with 10 seconds to go. The bell saves Uru.

Round 2: OOOOOOHHHH!! A BIG counter right drops Uru, and Benavidez swarms for the finish. We needed that. It’s gonna be Johnson vs. Benavidez for the UFC’s first ever flyweight crown…er…belt.

Joseph Benavidez def. Yasuhiro Urushitani via TKO (punches) 0:11 of round 2

They’re interviewing Dominick Cruz and Urijah Faber now. My God, Faber’s cleft seems to be expanding like some kind of black hole. You could EASILY hold a roll of quarters in that sum bitch is all I’m saying. If he isn’t careful, his chin is going to eat his entire face.

Time for our main event.

Martin Kampmann vs. Thiago Alves

Kampmann has said he plans to stand and trade with Alves, which makes sense, given Kampmann’s penchant for playing to his opponents strengths. Either he’s just bullshitting, or he simply didn’t learn anything from trying to submit Jake Shields or KO Paul Daley. He did beat Diego Sanchez though. I don’t care what anyone says.

And the award for most badass security guards goes to Thiago Alves. I DARE someone to try and steal a hat in Australia.

Jesus Christ, Thiago Alves looks fucking huge.

Round 1: Leg kick Alves, drink. Drink again. Uppercut Hitman, who shoots for a single. He gets Alves down, but not for long. A teep kick rocks Alves! Kampmann takes him down, then hits him with a knee on the way up. Alves is cut over his left eye, but stuffs a single and takes Martin down. Interesting. Kampmann working a guillotine. Alves passes to side control, but Martin gets it back to half guard. Alves mounts! He isn’t able to do much with it, however, and Kampmann escapes just before the bell.

Round 2: Right hook Alves. Kampmann misses a knee and Alves lands a 1-2. Alves is getting the better of the stand up, so Kampmann goes for a takedown, but gets stuffed. Kampmann’s cut in a couple places. Hitman tries another teep that misses this time. Nice right hand by Alves. Short left hook by Kampmann lands, but Alves lands a bigger one. Kampmann ends a two punch combo with a knee, then shoots for a takedown as the bell rings.

Round 3: Drink worthy leg kick by Alves. Alves pushes forward and tries for a takedown, but Kampmann reverses him. Kampmann lands a nice three punch combo and goes for his own takedown. Kampmann lands a kick to the body but eats a left. Alves whiffs a kick, then lands a nice inside one. Martin tries a head kick that’s blocked. Nice right hand by Alves hurts Kampmann. Alves tries for a double leg, but winds up with Kampmann on top of him in a mounted guillotine! Alves taps! Wow, brilliant turn of events by Kampmann, who probably would’ve lost the decision. That was eerily reminiscent of Lytle/Hardy. What a huge mistake by Alves.

Martin Kampmann def. Thiago Alves via submission (guillotine) 4:30ish of round 3

Kampmann calls out Carlos Condit in his post fight interview. Jon Anik says his second win in a row could have just as easily been his sixth. Ballsy statement, but he makes a point.

Well, that’s all for me, folks. Thanks for joining me, and I’ll catch y’all on Monday.

‘UFC 144: Edgar vs. Henderson’ Main Card — Live Results & Commentary


(They’re both dangerous on the mat and on their feet. They’re both impossible to finish. But hell will freeze over before they both wear suits on the same day. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this gallery, click here.)

Konichiwa, bitches, and welcome to our liveblog presentation of the UFC 144 pay-per-view card. We’ve got seven more fights to go at the Saitama Super Arena in Japan, leading up to the headlining lightweight title bout between Frankie Edgar and Ben Henderson. Along the way, Anthony “Showtime” Pettis will try to invent a new kick against Joe Lauzon, Yoshihiro Akiyama makes his last sexy stand against Jake Shields, and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson defends his old PRIDE turf against Ryan Bader.

Handling play-by-play for this leg of our journey is Anthony Gannon, who will be throwin’ down results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let your voice be heard in the comments section. As was predicted in the ancient fart scrolls, this is gonna be one hell of a night.


(They’re both dangerous on the mat and on their feet. They’re both impossible to finish. But hell will freeze over before they both wear suits on the same day. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this gallery, click here.)

Konichiwa, bitches, and welcome to our liveblog presentation of the UFC 144 pay-per-view card. We’ve got seven more fights to go at the Saitama Super Arena in Japan, leading up to the headlining lightweight title bout between Frankie Edgar and Ben Henderson. Along the way, Anthony “Showtime” Pettis will try to invent a new kick against Joe Lauzon, Yoshihiro Akiyama makes his last sexy stand against Jake Shields, and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson defends his old PRIDE turf against Ryan Bader.

Handling play-by-play for this leg of our journey is Anthony Gannon, who will be throwin’ down results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let your voice be heard in the comments section. As was predicted in the ancient fart scrolls, this is gonna be one hell of a night.

Please stand by…

Greetings, Potato Nation. I’m honored to be with you tonight, providing you with the play-by-play for the UFC’s glorious return to the land of ninjas, sushi, and splendidly depraved pornography.

I’ve got to hand it to Dana White. After all those years of complaining about the Japanese business culture, he finally made it happen. Just keep your filthy trap shut if the event fails to live up to your lofty expectations though. White has neither the time, nor the inclination to explain himself to fans who rise and sleep under the very blanket of the MMA that he provides, and then question the manner in which he provides it. He’d rather you just said ‘thank you,’ and went on your way. Either way, he doesn’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

On a serious note, this is kind of an extraordinary event, as Japan holds a special place in many of our hearts. It brings out the Pride fanboy in all of us. The only thing that could make this any better is if Wanderlei Silva storms the cage, rips the microphone from Buffer’s hands, and screams at the top of his lungs, “PRIDE NEVA DIE!”

Joe Lauzon vs.; Anthony Pettis

Round 1 – We begin, and Pettis and Lauzon are pawing. WOW, Pettis lands a head kick and it’s over!

Pettis needed an impressive showing. He got “Showtime” tattooed across his back for God’s sake. I understand it’s difficult to live up to that moniker at the highest level against guys like Clay Guida and Jeremy Stephens, but if you’re going to get a gigantic tattoo proclaiming what your thang is, then you’ve got to back that shit up. If a girl has a tattoo of some shrubbery with the term ‘VEGAN’ stamped across her shoulder, you’d fully expect her to be an exceedingly annoying person who reeks of armpits. Conversely, if a menacing fellow has a tear inked next to his eye and ‘FUCK YOU’ tattooed on his knuckles you wouldn’t expect to see him gardening, would you? Hell no! You’d expect him to suck up your tax dollars in the joint learning how to be an even scarier criminal, then go on to earn a living trading crystal meth for hookers. The point is that you have to live up to your ink. Those are just the rules.

Next up we have Bart Palaszewski vs. Hatsu Hioki

Bart comes out with lots of ink and serious hair. Hioki rolls out to some incredibly bad club music.

Round 1 – The referee is Herb Dean and it’s on. Hioki knocks Bart down with a straight right. Bart is up quickly. They trade leg kicks. Hioki going for the takedown. Bart with a guillotine. Aint happening. Hioki gets to half guard, now to side control. He’s dropping a couple elbows. He’s hammering away at Bart’s ear. That don’t look fun. Bart gives up his back trying to get up, dangerous move. Hioki has a nasty armbar, but Bart gets out of it. Now he’s in guard again. Wow! Hioki with some more ground and pound, and some BIG hammer fists. Bart trying to wall walk, but he’s going to end the round on his back. Big round for Hioki.

Round 2 – Hoiki opens with a front kick. Bart misses a leg kick. Bart connects with a good right. Hioki with a leg kick that sneaks through. Bart goes to the body. Hioki is finding a home for his jab. Bart connecting with leg kicks. Hioki goes for the head again and misses. Bart takes one in the pills instead. And he’s fine. Answers back with a low kick of his own. Hioki goes for a takedown, and climbs on Bart’s back as the buzzer sounds. Much better round for Bart, but still a close round to score.

Round 3 – Bart comes out swinging. Mostly misses. Now Bart has Hioki against the cage, but Hioki scores a trip takedown. Bart is trying to control Hioki’s posture, but Huiki gets side control. He’s dropping a few elbows. Hioki looking for a mounted crucufix, and it looks pretty sucky. He’s landing some short elbows. Bart doesn’t like it and gives up his back to get out of it. Now Hioki is on his back and working for a choke. With over a minute left, this is a real crappy place for Bart to be. Hioki working the body to try and soften Bart up. Hioki gets his arm arounf Bart’s face but cannot find the neck. It matters not, he dominates the 3rd round, and with that will get the decision.

Hatsu Hioki wins the unanimous decision. 30-27, 29-28, 29-28. Rogan is talking up Hioki as the #2 featherweight in the world, could we be seeing a title shot awarded?

Tim Boetsch is set to face off against Yushin Okami next. You gotta love Boetsch. He’s like a cross between a 9th century Viking killer and the guy who built your deck. I can guarantee you no one is happier that the UFC is back in Japan than Yushin Okami. Yush is a pimp in his homeland, and finally he gets to fight in front of a crowd that will appreciate his conservative effective fighting style.

Round 1 – Leon Roberts is the 3rd man in the cage and we’re set. Tim lands a leg kick to start things off. Then a right hand. Tim pushing forward, and eats an Okami left hand. Okami lands a straight jab, throws Tim off balance. Tim east yet another jab, has a mouse under his eye already. Tim with a head kick, blocked. Tim shoots for a takedown, Okami defends. Okami lands an inside leg kick then a punch, and he’s in command of the stand up. Okaim lands a kick to the face! Hope he cut his toe nails beforehand. Tim with some good head movement to avoid some shots. He needs more of that. Okami with a knee to the body. Tim comes alive at the end, but Okami probably took that round.

Round 2 – Tim is a little busted up, and he looks pissed. Okami with more of the same, lands a knee to the sternum., and some strikes. Tim whiffs a huge hook. Okami has Tim pressed against the cage, looking for a takedown. Tim is defending well, but now Okami is deep on a double leg, gets the takedown. Tim has a guillotine, but that isn’t going anywhere. Okami is out of danger, and looking to advance his position. Tim keeps him in half guard. Okami is going for a head and arm triangle. Now he’s dropping some punches, working the body. Okami going for a Kimura, and he’s mounted Tim. Tim is in all kinds of trouble. Okami is reigning down some hurt. Going for the arm triangle again, but it’s too late. Big round for Okami as the buzzer sounds.

Round 3 – Tim just cannot get anything going here. He needs to do something extreme. Are purple nirples against the unified rules? Cause them shits hurt. Tim is going for it, landing some serious uppercuts. Okami is hurt. And Tim Boetsch gets the knockout. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! And wow do I sound like an idiot!

Joe Rogan calls that the greatest comeback in UFC history, and I cannot disagree. Tim came back in a serious way, and crumbled Okami at 54 seconds in the 3rd round after getting destroyed. Huge win for Tim Boetsch. I don’t know about Tim, but after the interpreter does her thing, I’ve completely forgotten the question Joe asked him.

Next up is Jake Shields vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama.

You’ve got to feel for Sexyama, he has not had an easy road in the UFC. And against Shields, it aint fittin’ to get any easier. Jake didn’t lose from 2004 to 2011, had 15 straight wins, and now he’s 1-2 in the UFC, and that one win was a struggle. That’s a tough pill for a guy like Shields to swallow. He’s a tough sumbitch. I mean this guy came over with a serious rep. He beat up on Dan Henderson, and no one beats up on Dan Henderson like that. Not Fedor, not Rampage, no one. And he arrives in the UFC and gets slapped down a couple notches. That’s an assault on a fighter’s manhood. For us regular fellows, that’s kind of like when you’re with your woman, and that thing happens; that horrible thing that’s supposedly “no big deal,” and “happens to all guys.” Then in a moment of sexual frustration, this previously sweet, compassionate woman unleashes a tsunami of cruelty upon you that totally emasculates you. You have no other option than to rock her world next time, but the specter of failure is now your worst enemy. It’s all mental. Shields is looking to overcome that mental obstacle and rock Akiyama’s world.

Round 1 – Marc Goddard is the ref, and we’re on. They come out pawing. Shields with the single leg, Akiyama defending well. Shields is relentless though. Akiyama stuffs it. They seperate, and go back to pawing at each other. Shields lands a few kicks. Akiyama with a big uppercut. Shields lunges desperately at Akiyama, going for another takedown. Man, Akiyama has great takedown defense. They separate again. They trade jabs. Shields looking for aanother tie up. Akiyama misses a head kick. Akiyama with the takedown, and Shields is back up. The round ends, and it’s impossible to call.

Round 2 – Shields comes out with a sense of urgency. He’s throwing a lot of kicks to the body. Akiyama lands a shot to the body. Jake forcing a tie up, and Akiyama lands a spinning back fist. Jake misses on a takedown attempt. Shields with a good body kick. Akiyama is landing a few jabs, and goes for a body kick of his own, Jake catches it and shrugs him off. Jake with a double jab. And again. Akiyama with a stiff jab of his own. Another body kick by Shields. Akiyama with a huge leg kick, checks one of Shields’. Akiyama with a huge Judo throw, Jake gets right up. Shields has him pressed against the cage now. He’s on Ayiyama’s back, but time if set to expire. Good round, very close.

Round 3 – Shields with a right. Akiyama answers with a shot. Shields with a couple more kicks. Shields with another kick to the body. Shields shoots, cannot get that takedown. Akiyama has him against the cage, throws a knee to the leg. He’s working the body, and they separate. They trade strikes, and Jake lands to the body again. Akiyama stuffs another takedown. Jake briefly gets Akiyama to the mat but he pops right back up. They’re clinched against the cage, trading knees. The ref separates them. Akiyama is swinging hard, but Jake gets his back. Akiyama grabs the fence twice, and the ref ignores it. Jake is on his back looking for a choke. Akiyama defending well. Time expires but jake finishes strong.

Jake Shields wins the unanimous decision with 30-27 across the board. Hats off to Akiyama. That fight was closer than the 30-27 decision and far from the destruction many thought it would be.

Is it me, or it that interpreter pretty cute? She’s got that Japanese schoolgirl look.

And the big boys are next, Cheick Kongo and Mark Hunt. Mark Hunt is an inspiration to all of us who are rockin’ the muffin top, especially against a guy with the extraordinary chesticles of Cheick Kongo. Kongo is a menacing presence, but Hunt fears no man. He’s Samoan.

Round 1 – Herb Dean is the referee, and it’s time to roll. They touch gloves. Kongo catches a kick and Hunt falls down. Kongo charges, and hunt reverses and pushes Kongo against the cage. They square off. Hunt misses a hook. Kongo sticks a jab. He’s got a 8 inch reach advantage. Hunt checks a leg kick. Hunt lands a huge left, stuns Kongo. Hunt lands another huge bomb. He knocks Kongo down, and descends on him. Herb Dean stops the fight. Hunt with a huge TKO.

Mark hunt earns himself a big victory at 2:11 of round 1. Hunt responds to Rogan’s question of how he feels like any man of few words would, “I feel good.” Nuff said.

Co-main event is next, Rampage Jackson vs. Ryan Bader.

Bader is still trying to erase the shame of being the only guy to lose to Tito Ortiz since Ken Shamrock in 2006, so a win over Rampage would serve him very well.  Perhaps Rampage missing weight by 5 pounds will benefit Bader, aside from putting an extra 50 G’s in his pocket. Bader comes out to a Star Wars remix, very cool to accentuate his nickame, “Darth” Bader.

Rampage has stated his desire to retire with the belt he once held. So long as Bones Jones is the man, I just don’t see that happening. But hey, a fellow can dream, can’t he? I have dreams of Gina Carano forcing me to be her naughty little cabana boy. The only difference is I know my dream isn’t coming true. Regardless, Rampage is a star in Japan, and he misses his fans. The arena explodes when he walks out to the Pride theme. You just knew someone was gonna do it. He’s playing to the crowd too, the sneer, the chain, the howl. The fans love it.

Round 1 – Leon Roberts is the ref, and it’s time to roll. Rampage comes out hard, commnads the center of thee cage. Bader with a leg kick. Ram[age shoots, Bader clinches him against the cage. Lands a short left, and a couple knees to the thigh. Bader backs off. Bader with a Superman punch, hist a lot of air. Then lands an overhand right. Bader with an inside leg kick. Rampage isn’t throwing anything. He’s head-hunting. Bader going for a takedown. Rampage defending well. Big inside leg kick by Bader. Bader faking shots, and using feints. Good strategy. He shoots again, and Rampage defends. Bader has Rampage against the cage, he cannot get the takedown, but lands an uppercut and a knee. Rampage with a leg kick, how about that? Rampage unleashes and lands a hook. The round ends with Bader probably doing enough to take it.

Round 2 – Rampage looks a little gassed already. Rampage throws a giant hook, but misses. Bader with a jab, then an overhand right that is blocked. They tie up and Rampage has Bader up against the fence. Bader tries a knee and Rampage picks him up and drops him on his head. Bader looks hurt. Bader misses a right but lands a knee. Bader with a takedown of his own. He’s working some short elbows. Bader goes to the body. Bader is stuffing Rampage into the cage, and Rampage is trying to wall walk. Bader fighting to keep him on his back. Bader is landing some nice knees to the thigh. Rampage gets up, but Bader slams him back down. He lands a big right. Bader is Rampage’s guard, and he’s ending the round strong.

Round 3 – Both guys look exhausted. Rampage lands a jab. Bader ties him up against the cage. They separate. Bader shoots, Rampage stuffs. Bader with a left to the dome. Bader shoots again and lands it. He’s in side control, and this is not looking good for Rampage. Bader is firing off some knees to the body. Bader working some short elbows, noting of any great note, but he’s winning the round. Rampage kicks him off and tries to get up, Bader is glued to him again. Bader drags him to the mat again. Bader working some punches from the guard. Now half guard. Rampage working to get up, but Bader is too strong from top position. Hammer fists to the body, and now going for a Kimura. Nothing doing. Rampage reverses and Bader ends the fight going for a guillotine. I gotta think Bader took that one.

Ryan Bader wins the unanimous decision with 30-27 across the board. Huge win for Ryan Bader. He puts himself back into the top of the pack at 205.

The main event is up next. Frankie Edgar vs. Benson Henderson, baby!

I had the pleasure of meeting Frankie Edgar a few weeks ago when he was signing autographs and taking pictures at Hooters in Wayne, NJ. What a super nice guy. And I don’t know, maybe it was the 5 pints that the smoking hot Thai bartender served me, but I kinda thought I could take him. I maintained professionalism though, simply shook his hand, got my picture taken (proud to say I DID NOT raise the clenched fist), and commented on the grotesque size of my head as he signed the picture for me. We shared a laugh, and the belief that flannel was in fact back in, since we were both sporting the timeless garb. Then I went on my way, very happy with my first picture/autograph session with a professional fighter. Normally I’m way too cheap frugal to pay for that sort of thing, but my friend Billy is the manager of Hooters and got me that one on the arm. It pays to know people in high places.

I’m conflicted with Ben Henderson. On the one hand, he seems like a phenomenal guy, the kind of guy you’d want to be your Bible study buddy. On the other hand, I just cannot root for a guy who has wings covering his entire back.

Ben comes out to some Christian rap. He’s fired up, son! Ben gives the crowd a fist pump to get them fired up.

Frankie rolls out to some hip hop. He sprints to the cage. The champ is ready to throw down. Let’s do this!

Round 1 – Marc Goddard is the 3rd man in the cage. Both fighters look focused as hell. They touch and it’s a go. Feeling each other out, Frankie starts off with a leg kick. Then a body punch. Frankie catches a kick and puts Ben down. He gets right back up. Frankie lands a straight right. Ben with a big kick, Frankie blocks. He tosses Ben down, but again Ben gets right back up. Frankie with a nice leg kick, Ben answers, skims Frankie’s pills. But he’s OK. He keeps catching Ben’s low kicks. Body punch by Frankie. Ben lands a body kick this time. A hard one too. Frankie pushes forward with a right hand that lands. Ben lands a left, Frankie responds to the body. Frankie scores a takedown, but Ben gets up. Ben lands a knee from the clinch. Frankie with a spinning back fist, misses by a mile. Frankie with a spinning back kick, barely lands. Good first round, close.

Round 2 – Frankie has some swelling on his left eye. Frankie lands a right. Ben aiming for that eye. Lands a good kick, but Frankie catches it again. Ben doing a good job of keeping the pressure on. Frankie with a leg kick. Ben keeping a jab in Frankie’s face. Frankie catches a kick, and they trade hooks while he holds Ben’s leg. Ben lands a job. Good knee too. Frankie lands a body shot, then a left. Ben with another huge knee. Frankie pushes forward with a combination that scores. Ben checks a leg kick. Frankie lands a good left, then takes ben down. Frankie with a guillotine setup, but lets it go. Ben misses a head kick. Frankie lands a low kick, Ben responds with a punch to the grill. Frankie with a nice combination. He rushes in and eats a shot. Another takedown by Frankie. He’s in Ben’s full guard working some ground and pound. Good shot to the grill by Frankie. Ben kicks Frankie square in the face with an upkick and reverses the position. Frankie is bleeding badly. Awesome round, very close again.

Round 3 – They clash and trade punches. Frankie lands a right. Front kick misses by Frankie. Ben stuffs a takedown but Frankie lands a punch. Good body kick by Ben. Ben stuffs another takedown attempt. Frankie lands a right. Ben lands a knee to the body. Frankie ducks a couple punshes, and lands another right. Frankie is down with Ben on top. Frankie gets up, blocks a kick. Ben misses a couple elbows, Frankie lands a punch. Ben sticks a jab. Frankie with a big left, then an inside leg kick. Ben lands a great knee. Frankie sticks a takedown, but Ben pops right back up. Ben misses badly with a head kick. Frankie with a big takedown, Ben gets up as the round ends. This is a close fight.

Round 4 – The championship rounds begin. Both guys look pretty fresh. Frankie opens with a leg kick. Ben pushes forward, misses a couple jabs. Then sticks one. Ben lands a body kick. Frankie with a nice combination. Damn, Ben lands one to the jewels, a hard one too. Frankie is walking it off. He’s ready to go. Frankie with a good straight right. And another. And another. Good knee by Ben. Ben locks on a guillotine, pulls guard, and it looks tight. Frankie defends well, and is out of it. A standing Kimura forces Frankie to abandon back control. Hard leg kick by Ben lands. Another one, Frankie catches it, but does nothing with it. Frankie tosses Ben but he stays on his feet. Huge kick by Ben. Frankie lands a combination to end the round. Another super close round.

Round 5 – Ben fires up this quite Japanese crowd! He’s psyched. Frankie with a leg kick, then a straight right. Ben lands a combination of his own. Good left by Ben. Frankie fails on a takedown but lands an uppercut. Frankie with a strong left to the chops. They trade shots and clinch up. Frankie throws Ben to the ground, but Ben just keeps getting right up. Ben misses a side kick. Inside leg kick by Frankie. Two big shots by Ben. Frankie drops Ben with a shot, and Ben responds with a huge body kick. They both miss with punches. Ben with a kick, Frankie blocks. Frankie shoots, misses a takedown. Ben kicks him again. Jumping knee by Ben lands hard. Ben finishes on top in a dominant way. Wow, great fight. Close, but we could have a new champion.

The decision is in, 49-46, 48-47, and 49-46 for the NEW UFC LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPION BENSON HENDERSON. Wow! Ben thanks God for giving him the strength to kick dude’s asses.

Frankie thinks he did enough to take the decision. I respectfully disagree.

Well that’s it for me, folks. We’ll analyze this bitch tomorrow when the hour is more decent. I didn’t get my old man nap in today. My ass is tired.

 

 

‘UFC 144: Edgar vs. Henderson’ Prelims on FX — Live Results & Commentary


“Damn it, Chris. SUSHI is from Japan. Pacquiao is from the Philippines, dummy.” Props: UFC.com

The UFC is making it’s first trip to Japan since UFC 29, and what a better way to celebrate it than by having this website’s most beloved weekend contributer liveblog the prelims on FX? Unfortunately for you, Chris Colemon is busy- so instead Seth Falvo will be handling the liveblogging duties for the prelims this evening. Oh well, at least it’s something. Can Takeya Mizugaki make it two in a row against Chris Cariaso? Will former WEC Light Heavyweight Champion Steve Cantwell stop his four fight losing streak against Riki Fukuda? And what does fate have in store for aging JMMA legends Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto and Takanori Gomi? Tune in here to find out as it unfolds.


“Damn it, Chris. SUSHI is from Japan. Pacquiao is from the Philippines, dummy.” Props: UFC.com 

The UFC is making it’s first trip to Japan since UFC 29, and what a better way to celebrate it than by having this website’s most beloved weekend contributer liveblog the prelims on FX? Unfortunately for you, Chris Colemon is busy- so instead Seth Falvo will be handling the liveblogging duties for the prelims this evening. Oh well, at least it’s something. Can Takeya Mizugaki make it two in a row against Chris Cariaso? Will former WEC Light Heavyweight Champion Steve Cantwell stop his four fight losing streak against Riki Fukuda? And what does fate have in store for aging JMMA legends Norifumi “Kid” Yamamoto and Takanori Gomi? Tune in here to find out as it unfolds.

We are live from Japan and…wait- Did they really just do a “U-S-A! U-S-A!” chant? Those sarcastic bastards. I love this crowd already. The fact that they’re this enthusiastic well before noon is just the icing on the cake.

Oh, and martial arts were born in Japan. Suck it, Pankration.

Takeya Mizugaki vs. Chris Cariaso

Round One: Cariaso comes out with a head kick that barely misses. He tries another, and Mizugaki counters with some nice punches. Mizugaki working his jab early. He attempts a takedown, but Cariaso easily stuffs it. Both guys are remaining active, but neither is landing anything significant. They clinch against the cage, and Mizugaki gets a takedown. Cariaso keeps Mizugaki in his guard and attempts an armbar, but Mizugaki escapes. He’s back in Cariaso’s guard, and Chris Cariaso is doing a good job controlling Mizugaki’s posture and throwing elbows from the bottom. Mizugaki breaks free and lands a few elbows, but Chris Cariaso did a great job keeping Takeya in his guard as the round ends.

Tough round to score.

Round Two: Mizugaki blitzes early, and pushes Cariaso against the cage to attempt a takedown. Cariaso breaks free, and we’re back in the center of the cage. Cariaso attempts a head kick, but it lands around Mizugaki’s armpit. Mizugaki pushes Cariaso into the cage and attempts a takedown. Cariaso avoids the initial attempt and tries for one himself, but Mizugaki tries again and gets it. Mizugaki is trying to pass Cariaso’s guard, but he’s having no success. He stands and lands a few punches on Mizugaki, but he’s back in Cariaso’s guard. Cariaso lands a nice sweep, but Mizugaki immediately gets back to his fight. The round ends with both fighters clinching against the cage.

Round Three: Cariaso lands a head kick, and Mizugaki immediately rushes in and presses Cariaso into the cage. A few knees, and Cariaso now gets Mizugaki against the cage. He briefly looks for a takedown, but Mizugaki stuffs it and both fighters are back in the center of the cage. Straight left from Cariaso, and they’re back against the cage with Cariaso landing knees. Cariaso misses with a hook. He attempts another head kick, but Mizugaki counters and ends up in Cariaso’s guard. Cariaso is really neutralizing Mizugaki’s attack with his surprisingly dynamic guard, but he’s doing nothing of significance in return. They get back to their feet, and Cariaso lands a punch as this one comes to an end. Close fight, but Mizugaki should have this one locked up.

I stand corrected. Chris Cariaso def. Takeya Mizugaki by unanimous decision. This crowd is not happy about the decision, but it was a close fight. No complaints from me.

Riki Fukuda vs. Steve Cantwell

Round One: Cantwell works his jab early, but Fukuda gets in andearns a quick takedown. Cantwell works for an armbar, but Fukuda escapes and lands some heavy ground and pound. This crowd is loving it, punctuating every blow from Fukuda with an enthusiastic cheer. Cantwell escapes, and both guys are back on their feet. Cantwell lands a nice kick. Fukuda attempts another takedown, but Cantwell stuffs it. Fukuda with a leg kick, and another takedown attempt. Cantwell stuffs that one as well. Cantwell with a nice cross, and lands a knee in the clinch. Fukuda with a 1-2. Cantwell attempts a Superman punch, but let’s just say we’ve seen better today. Cantwell stays aggressive, moving forward and landing a kick as this round ends.

Round Two: Cantwell works his jab early again, but Fukuda lands some leg kicks. Cantwell answers back with one of his own. Fukuda gets a takedown, but Cantwell locks up a guillotine. Even though Cantwell only has him in half guard, it looks tight. He doesn’t have it, so he lets go and we’re back on the feet. Some leg kicks and uppercuts from Fukuda, as he shoots for another takedown. Cantwell stuffs it, and lands a nice left hook. Cantwell already looks tired, as he’s now just freezing up when he’s getting hit instead of trying to move away from the punches. Fukuda now has Cantwell covering up against the cage. Cantwell lands a counter punch and escapes, but he’s not faring much better in the center of the cage. A nice 1-2 from Fukuda gets Cantwell back against the cage, but Fukuda misses with an inside leg kick and catches Cantwell low. We’ve got a quick break in the action, and it appears that Fukuda tripped while he was throwing the kick that caught Cantwell. Cantwell comes out after the break and earns a takedown. Cantwell takes Fukuda’s back as this round comes to an end.

Round Three: Nice leg kicks from Fukuda. Cantwell doesn’t have an answer for them. Cantwell spins and attempts a head kick, but Fukuda has this fight under control. Cantwell’s left leg is visibly Fukuda earns a takedown, and ends up in Cantwell’s guard. Cantwell attempts an armbar and a gogoplata (?!), but Fukuda avoids them both and takes Cantwell’s back. Fukuda moves to side control, but Cantwell manages to get back to his feet. Perhaps he should have tried to get Fukuda back in his guard, because Cantwell is getting picked apart with leg kicks and uppercuts, as he has been all fight. Some hard body kicks from Fukuda have Cantwell covering up, just trying to survive the round. Cantwell is done and both fighters realize it. With ten seconds left, Fukuda is content to land a final body kick and let this one go to the judges.

No surprises here. Riki Fukuda def. Steve Cantwell via unanimous decision. Later, Steve. It’s hard to see the UFC keeping him around after a performance like this, especially considering he’s now lost five straight.

Norifumi Yamamoto vs. Vaughan Lee

Round One: Both guys start out throwing heavy shots, but neither guy landing anything. Yamamoto with a nice body kick. Yamamoto lands with a right hook, but trips as he moves away. Lee pins Yamamoto against the cage and attempts to drag him down after the trip, to no prevail. Yamamoto catches Lee and blitzes him, looking for the finish. This crowd is excited, but Lee escapes. Lee rocks Yamamoto with a huge knee, but seems content to just keep Yamamoto against the cage. Yamamoto escapes and lands an uppercut, but is blatantly still hurt from that knee earlier. Lee rushes Yamamoto again, and gets “Kid” on the ground. Lee attempts a triangle, but he doesn’t have it so he switches to an armbar. He’s got the armbar locked up, and Yamamoto taps.

Vaughan Lee def. Norifumi Yamamoto via submission (armbar), 4:29 of Round One. Great showing from Vaughan Lee tonight with this victory, much to the disappointment of this crowd. You can hear a pin drop while Kid Yamamoto addresses the fans after the loss.

Now for our final (preliminary) bout of the evening.

Takanori Gomi vs. Eiji Mitsuoka

Round One: Gomi working his jab early, but Mitsuoka is managing to slip inside and land punches.  Mitsuoka clinches with Gomi against the cage, but Gomi lands some big knees and Mitsuoka abandons the clinch. Gomi switching stances often, pawing out his lead hand trying to set up the cross. Mitsuoka lands an uppercut, but is picking his spots carefully. Gomi lands a leg kick, and works his jab some more. Mitsuoka lands a huge counter right, and mounts Gomi. Mitsuoka locks in a mounted triangle, but there might not be enough time left. Gomi thinks about tapping, but decides to wait out the round. Turns out to be a good decision, as this round comes to a close with Gomi still awake, albeit barely.

Round Two: Gomi lands some kicks, but Mitsuoka is doing a surprisingly good job at countering Gomi’s unorthodox attack. Gomi blitzes Mitsuoka, but Mitsuoka survives and circles away. Gomi blitzes again, sensing that Mitsuoka is tired. Mitsuoka attempts a single leg, which Gomi avoids by grabbing the cage. Mitsuoka is too tired to do anything, and Gomi takes his back and begins to rain down punches. Mitsuoka covers up, but punches are landing and Mitsuoka is doing nothing to escape as this one gets called off.

What a wild fight. Takanori Gomi def. Eiji Mitsuoka via TKO (punches) at 2:21 of Round Two. It’s hard to believe that the same Takanori Gomi who almost tapped at the end of the first round would come back to dominate Mitsuoka like this.

Well, that does it for me. Enjoy the main card.