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Jessamyn Duke’s Fight Night 45 Loss Was Due to a Broken Hand, Not Getting KTFO, According to Shayna Baszler

(“Uh, Jessamyn, we’re gonna need you to stop with the hand gestures while we take this x-ray.”)

Fight Night 45 was one of the most violent non-Fight for the Troops cards in UFC History, featuring an astounding nine finishes, 8 TKOs, and a six fight main card that not once required a judge’s input. My decision to spend most of the night ranting about Microsoft tech support notwithstanding, I thoroughly enjoyed what the card had to offer, from the prelim fights all the way up to the main event, which saw Donald Cerrone finish the damn-near unfinishable Jim Miller *twice* in their two round banger.

In one of those aforementioned prelim fights, Leslie Smith destroyed Ronda Rousey training partner (as she was introduced by Jon Anik) Jessamyn Duke in the first round, finishing her with a flurry of body shots, kicks, and knees that was Liddell vs. Ortiz-esque in terms of its volume. But it was only matter of time before the excuses started flying, and luckily, Duke’s training partner, Shayna Baszler, is here to jump on that grenade.

“For everyone asking, @jessamynduke broke her hand. Didn’t know what to do once Leslie turned it on when she couldn’t grab and circle off,” Baszler posted on Twitter shortly after the fight.

While I would disagree that Duke’s inability to circle off was less the cause of her demise than her inability to use her massive reach advantage to her…uh…advantage, the above photo posted to Duke’s instagram seems to indicate that her hand was indeed broken to shit. You can check out a few other photos of Duke’s hand over at the UG, but really, this comment by UG’er rrefs sums up Duke/Baszler’s excuse perfectly…

(“Uh, Jessamyn, we’re gonna need you to stop with the hand gestures while we take this x-ray.”)

“For everyone asking, @jessamynduke broke her hand. Didn’t know what to do once Leslie turned it on when she couldn’t grab and circle off,” Baszler posted on Twitter shortly after the fight.

Classic reference, rrefs. Bravo.

In other Fight Night 45 medical news, Jim Miller caught an indefinite suspension pending an x-ray on his right forearm and stomach following his loss to Cowboy Cerrone. Joe Proctor, on the other hand, got off easy with a 30 day suspension despite the fact that he apparently had a golf ball lodged into the side of his cranium midway through his eventual TKO win over Justin Salas.

The rest of the Fight Night 45 medical suspension are below, via MMAWeekly.

-Evan Dunham was suspended for 30 days with no contact for a TKO loss.

-Justin Salas was suspended for 30 days with no contact for TKO loss and for facial laceration healing.

-Alptekin Ozkilic was suspended for 30 days with no contact for TKO loss. He was also suspended indefinitely pending the results of a CT head scan.

-Alex White was suspended for 45 days for right eye laceration healing, as well as 30 days with no contact for a knockout loss. He was also suspended indefinitely pending the results of a CT head scan and neurological examination.

-Hugo Viana was suspended for 30 days with no contact for a TKO loss.

-Tina Lahdemaki was suspended for 60 days with no contact for recovery. She was also suspended indefinitely pending opthalmological clearance of her right eye.

One final note: Chris Lytle joined the FS1 team earlier this week, and his first night of fight-calling featured more body shots and all out wars than any card in recent memory. Coincidence? No, no it is not.

–J. Jones

So What Exactly Did Jimi Manuwa Do to Ryan Jimmo’s Leg?

(Photo via Getty. Go here for a gif of the ending.)

This might be old news by now, but if you recall, Ryan Jimmo‘s left leg seemed to implode in the second round of his Fight Night 30 scrap with Jimi Manuwa last weekend. Being that something similar happened in Manuwa’s previous scrap with Cyrille Diabate, I immediately speculated that Manuwa must be some sort of demonic scanner (obviously). All three of the man’s fights have ended with either a doctor’s intervention, a freak injury, or some combination of the two.

The point is, when the list of medical suspensions for Fight Night 30 were released earlier today, one would expect Jimmo’s name to appear right near the top. Possible reasons: torn hamstring, blown ACL, touch of the Plague, etc. In any case, one would be wrong (via The UG):

Ryan Jimmo: 7 days no contact

Jimi Manuwa: 180 days no fighting, needs x-ray and ultrasound

I’m not saying this supports my “Jimi Manuwa is physically capable of shooting mind bullets” theory, but it basically supports my “Jimi Manuwa is physically capable of shooting mind bullets” theory. In fact, it appears that Manuwa’s mind has become extraordinary to his own detriment, as he somehow walked away from Fight Night 30 with a 180 day suspension. A telekinesis-induced brain aneurysm, perhaps? Perhaps, you guys.

The full list of suspensions are after the jump.

(Photo via Getty. Go here for a gif of the ending.)

Ryan Jimmo: 7 days no contact

Jimi Manuwa: 180 days no fighting, needs x-ray and ultrasound

I’m not saying this supports my “Jimi Manuwa is physically capable of shooting mind bullets” theory, but it basically supports my ”Jimi Manuwa is physically capable of shooting mind bullets” theory. In fact, it appears that Manuwa’s mind has become extraordinary to his own detriment, as he somehow walked away from Fight Night 30 with a 180 day suspension. A telekinesis-induced brain aneurysm, perhaps? Perhaps, you guys.

The full list of suspensions are after the jump.

Michael Kuiper: 7 days no contact
Bradley Scott: 7 days no contact
Jim Hettes: 7 days no contact
Robert Whiteford: 7 days no contact
Cole Miller: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Andy Ogle: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Jessica Andrade: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Rosemary Sexton: 60 days no contact, 90 days no fighting
Andrew Craig: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Luke Barnatt: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Piotr Hallman: 7 days no contact
Al Iaquinta: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
John Lineker: 7 days no contact
Phil Harris: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Nicholas Musoke: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Alessio Sakara: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Jonathan Tuck: 7 days no contact
Norman Parke: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Melvin Guillard: 7 days no contact
Ross Pearson: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Mark Munoz: 21 days no contact, 30 days no fighting
Lyoto Machida: 7 days no contact

Is anyone else disappointed that it wasn’t Manuwa who Mayhem Miller started trash-talking in that bar? We’d have to rewrite our comeuppance Roundtable (and probably a eulogy for Miller), but it’d be so worth it.

–J. Jones

UFC 165 Medical Suspensions: Jones, Gustafsson Somehow Come Out of Their War Relatively Unscathed

(Something something Jon Jones looks like a California Raisin in this photo. Via @AlexTheMauler.)

The Ontario Athletic Commission released their official list of medical suspensions for UFC 165 earlier today, and in direct defiance of everything we know about the human body’s ability to absorb damage, neither Jon Jones or Alexander Gustafsson suffered major injuries in their five round war at UFC 165. Yes, despite early reports that Jones was fighting through “a shattered foot” on Saturday night, both the champ and his Swedish counterpart received just two month suspensions pending a CT or MRI scan. Jones will additionally require an x-ray of said foot before it can be broken off in Phil Davis’ insolent ass.

The full list of medical suspensions is below. There aren’t many surprises other than the main eventers, but what the hell else am I going to write about: The Gracie Breakdown of Brendan Schaub’s D’arce choke that takes place on a hotel room bed? Bob Arum would not approve, you guys.

-Jon Jones: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI, plus x-ray before return.
-Alexander Gustafsson: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.
-Eddie Wineland: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.

(Something something Jon Jones looks like a California Raisin in this photo. Via @AlexTheMauler.)

-Jon Jones: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI, plus x-ray before return.
-Alexander Gustafsson: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.
-Eddie Wineland: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.
-Matthew Mitrione: Suspended 30 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.
-Mike Ricci: Suspended 30 days. Additionally, needs x-ray before return.
-Chris Clements: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.
-Renee Forte: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.
-Nandor Guelmino: Suspended 60 days. Additionally, needs CT scan or MRI before return.

Poor Nandor Guelmino. He’s probably one of the scariest looking dudes to ever step into the cage and has been completely unable to physically back it up in his first two mainstream appearances. Kind of like how I am the least intimidating man to ever step foot in a Montreal stripclub yet am never allowed to step foot in a Montreal strip club again. I’ll fill you in on the details as soon as my lawyer gets these bogus kidnapping charges dropped.

–J. Jones

Sadly, Ronaldo ‘Jacare’ Souza Won’t Be Kicking Anybody’s Ass for a While

(How many feet need to be broken before the UFC does the right thing and starts letting its fighters wear steel-toed boots? / Photo via Getty)

Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza may have put the entire UFC middleweight division on notice when he pounded the crap out of Yushin Okami at UFC Fight Night 28 last week, but unfortunately his career momentum has already ground to a halt. Due to an injury to his right foot, Souza has caught an 180-day medical suspension from the Brazilian Athletic Commission (CABMMA), and must receive a doctor’s clearance in order to return to action sooner.

During his post-fight interview, Souza stated that he hurt his foot during the fight with Okami, and wasn’t able to do his traditional victory gator-crawl because of it. (Cut to: Training montage of Souza going through a painful foot-rehabilitation process, re-learning to gator-crawl little by little, until finally he’s slithering on the beach like a champ and Carl Weathers embraces him in triumph. *exhales weed smoke*)

Fellow Brazilians Jussier Da Silva and Edimilson “Kevin” Souza also caught 180-day medical suspensions after their fights at UFC Fight Night 28. The full list of suspensions is after the jump, via MMAJunkie…

(How many feet need to be broken before the UFC does the right thing and starts letting its fighters wear steel-toed boots? / Photo via Getty)

Glover Teixeira: suspended 30 days with 21 days no contact
Ryan Bader: suspended 45 days with 30 days no contact
Ronaldo Souza: suspended 180 days or until cleared by doctor, needs x-ray on right foot
Yushin Okami: suspended 45 days with 30 days no contact
Joseph Benavidez: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Jussier Da Silva: suspended 180 days or until cleared by doctor, needs x-ray on right foot
Piotr Hallmann: suspended 30 days with 21 days no contact
Francisco Trinaldo: suspended 30 days with 21 days no contact
Rafael Natal: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Tor Troeng: suspended 30 days with 21 days no contact
Ali Bagautinov: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Marcos Vinicius: suspended 45 days with 30 days no contact
Edimilson Souza: suspended 180 days or until cleared by doctor, needs surgery on right hand
Felipe Arantes: suspended 45 days with 30 days no contact
Lucas Martins: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Ramiro Hernandez: suspended 30 days with 21 days no contact
Elias Silverio: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Joao Zeferino: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Ivan Jorge: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Keith Wisniewski: suspended 14 days with seven days no contact
Sean Spencer: suspended 21 days with 14 days no contact
Yuri Villefort: suspended 21 days with 14 days no contact

Court McGee, Dylan Andrews and Hatsu Hioki’s Reputation Get Hit with Indefinite Medical Suspensions

(Remember winning matches in Mortal Kombat when your guy has one sliver of health left? That’s what happened here. Photo via Getty Images.)

By Matt Saccaro

The Indiana Gaming Commission handed seven UFC Fight Night 27 fighters medical suspensions. Two of these fighters, Court McGee and Dylan Andrews, fared worse than the others. They both received indefinite medical suspensions, meaning they’ll need to be cleared by a physician before they can do anything meaningful.

Court McGee won a grueling split decision over TUF: Smashes winner Robert Whittaker. And Dylan Andrews, after getting thrown around for two rounds, knocked out Papy Abedi in the third round but claimed in the post-fight interview to have damaged his shoulder. Attentive viewers might have noticed that Andrews couldn’t put his arm through the sleeve of his shirt after the fight— never a good sign. But, officially, the Commission has yet to disclose any specific injuries he may have suffered.

There were other medical suspensions, though they were not as severe:

(Remember winning matches in Mortal Kombat when your guy has one sliver of health left? That’s what happened here. Photo via Getty Images.)

By Matt Saccaro

There were other medical suspensions, though they were not as severe:

Getting his face run through the deli slicer that is Carlos Condit earned Martin Kampmann a 30-day suspension with no contact during training for 14 days.

Papy Abedi will have a 60-day suspension (with no contact during 30 of those days) to contemplate his knockout loss to Dylan Andrews. Ironically, Abedi lost the fight but received a shorter suspension than Andrews.

Justin Edwards got a 30-day suspension with no contact for the entire duration of the suspension, which is remarkably short for the ass-kicking Brandon Thatch inflicted on him.

Hatsu Hioki received a two week suspension with no contact for two weeks. Fortunately, the myth of Hioki ever being a top-echelon fighter has received an indefinite suspension with his loss to Darren Elkins.

Finishing out the medical suspensions, Roger Bowling was suspended for 60 days on account of those totally legal knees he ate. Something tells me that he won’t be receiving a win bonus like his opponent Abel Trujillo did.

UFC 146 Medical Suspensions: X-Rays to Determine the Fates of Velasquez, Silva, and Varner Among Others

(And to think that all “Bigfoot” did was ask Arianny for a hug. Image courtesy of Fightcove.)

UFC 146’s all-heavyweight lineup promised to deliver the violence, and sweet baby Jesus did it ever. We were treated to five finishes in five fights on the main card alone, including what was initially labeled as a broken arm on Lavar Johnson’s part, as well as the above mutilation of Antonio Silva, which more closely resembles a scene from Saw movie (specifically, the pig soup sequence from the third installment) than anything else. But perhaps the most surprising of suspensions to come as a result of Saturday’s action were that of Cain Velasquez and Jamie Varner, whom, despite earning quick and violent finishes against Silva and Edson Barboza, respectively, could be looking at up to six months out of action pending x-rays of their hands. That’s some shit luck for Velasquez, who Dana White pegged as the probable number one contender (in Ubereem’s absence, of course) following his victory.

Though it appears that “Big” Johnson’s arm was not actually broken in the first round of his PPV lead-off scrap with Stefan Struve, he will need to have his elbow cleared by an orthopedist before he can return to action, and is looking at a minimum suspension of just over a month regardless.

Check out the full list of suspensions after the jump.

(And to think that all “Bigfoot” did was ask Arianny for a hug. Image courtesy of Fightcove.)

UFC 146′s all-heavyweight lineup promised to deliver the violence, and sweet baby Jesus did it ever. We were treated to five finishes in five fights on the main card alone, including what was initially labeled as a broken arm on Lavar Johnson’s part, as well as the above mutilation of Antonio Silva, which more closely resembles a scene from Saw movie (specifically, the pig soup sequence from the third installment) than anything else. But perhaps the most surprising of suspensions to come as a result of Saturday’s action were that of Cain Velasquez and Jamie Varner, whom, despite earning quick and violent finishes against Silva and Edson Barboza, respectively, could be looking at up to six months out of action pending x-rays of their hands. That’s some shit luck for Velasquez, who Dana White pegged as the probable number one contender (in Ubereem’s absence, of course) following his victory.

Cain Velasquez: Needs X-ray of left hand. If broken, he is suspended until November 20 unless cleared by doctor. Suspended at minimum until June 26 with no contact until June 17

Antonio Silva: Needs X-ray of nose. If broken, he is suspended until November 20 unless cleared by an ear, nose and throat doctor. Suspended at minimum until July 23 with no contact until July 11 for lacerations

Jamie Varner: Needs X-ray of right hand. If broken, he is suspended until November 20 unless cleared by doctor. Suspended at minimum until June 26 with no contact until June 17

Jason Miller: Needs clearance of right thumb and left knee by orthopedist or sports doctor or suspended until November 20. Suspended at minimum until July 11 with no contact until June 26 for tough fight

C.B. Dollaway: Needs X-ray of left thumb. If broken, he is suspended until November 20 unless cleared by doctor. Suspended at minimum until June 26 with no contact until June 17

Jacob Volkmann: Needs clearance of left elbow clearance of right thumb and left knee by orthopedist or suspended until November 20

Frank Mir: Suspended until July 23 with no contact until July 11 for TKO loss

Dave Herman: Suspended until July 23 with no contact until July 11 for TKO loss

Shane Del Rosario: Suspended until July 23 with no contact until July 11 for TKO loss

Duane Ludwig: Suspended until July 23 with no contact until July 11 for TKO loss

Lavar Johnson: Needs evaluation of left elbow by orthopedist. Suspended at minimum until July 11 with no contact until June 26

Edson Barboza: Suspended until July 11 with no contact until June 26 for TKO loss

Stipe Miocic: Suspended until June 26 with no contact until June 17

Darren Elkins: Suspended until June 26 with no contact until June 17 for left ear hematoma

Diego Brandao: Suspended until June 26 with no contact until June 17 for tough fight

Mike Brown: Suspended until June 26 with no contact until June 17 for left forehead laceration

Daniel Pineda: Suspended until June 26 with no contact until June 17 for tough fight

One other interesting thing of note from the aftermath of UFC 146 is that, aside from Mayhem Miller announcing his temporary retirement from the sport, Mike Brown also announced his decision to retire, although he later told Joe Rogan over Twitter that “I’m not 100 percent.” Whether Brown is truly hanging up the gloves or not, he will always hold a place in history as the man to end Urijah Faber’s dominant run as WEC featherweight champion, and defend the belt twice thereafter. Although he never seemed like quite the same fighter after losing his belt to Jose Aldo, Brown currently holds an impressive 26-8 record to his credit should he decide to call it a career, and deserves a great deal of respect for his accomplishments, so make sure to wish him your best on Twitter.

–J. Jones