(I had to downgrade from my platinum toothpick for this shit?!)
The UFC recently released the figures for UFC on FOX 5, and suffice it to say, it pays much better to be a fading legend than it does a rising star, or a lightweight champion for that matter (Author’s note: I guess Bisping was right after all *dials revolver*). Check out the full list of figures below, then get our thoughts on the matter after the jump.
Scott Jorgensen: $41,000 (includes $20,500 win bonus)
def. John Albert: $10,000
Thoughts…
(I had to downgrade from my platinum toothpick for this shit?!)
The UFC recently released the figures for UFC on FOX 5, and suffice it to say, it pays much better to be a fading legend than it does a rising star, or a lightweight champion for that matter (Author’s note: I guess Bisping was right after all *dials revolver*). Check out the full list of figures below, then get our thoughts on the matter after the jump.
Scott Jorgensen: $41,000 (includes $20,500 win bonus)
def. John Albert: $10,000
Thoughts…
Overpaid: Is Nate Diaz really so hot of a commodity that he deserves a higher show rate than the champion of the division? Methinks not, homie. We’re also kind of shocked that Mike Swick, who has fought just twice in the past ever, is still making damn near 50k to show. And that takes us to our next item on the agenda…
Underpaid: Look, we know these figures are void of any locker room bonuses, end of the night bonuses and yada yada, and we know that Ben Henderson doesn’t exactly deserve the kind of money a legend like Shogun makes per fight, but come on. Forty thousand to show for a champion is absolute rubbish. Nick Diaz throws more dough at freakishly deformed homeless people on his way to the airport for fuck’s sake. But like we said, we’re pretty sure Bendo got a stack of undisclosed cash so high that not even Rain Man could count all the toothpicks he plans on purchasing.
Although the undercard of UFC on FOX: Henderson vs. Diaz was punctuated with walk-off head kick KO’s and last second submissions, the evening’s greatest display of game planning arguably took place before the main card as well, during the bantamweight preliminary fight between Raphael Assuncao and Mike Easton. Using a Machida-esque strategy of evasion and counter-striking, Assuncao was able to not only frustrate Easton, but completely limit his normally hyper-aggressive offensive output en route to a unanimous decision victory.
Impressive to say the least, but even more impressive when you consider the fact that Assuncao was able to do so with a fractured arm he suffered in the first round. Assuncao tweeted the photo yesterday along with the following tweets:
Although the undercard of UFC on FOX: Henderson vs. Diaz was punctuated with walk-off head kick KO’s and last second submissions, the evening’s greatest display of game planning arguably took place before the main card as well, during the bantamweight preliminary fight between Raphael Assuncao and Mike Easton. Using a Machida-esque strategy of evasion and counter-striking, Assuncao was able to not only frustrate Easton, but completely limit his normally hyper-aggressive offensive output en route to a unanimous decision victory.
Impressive to say the least, but even more impressive when you consider the fact that Assuncao was able to do so with a fractured arm he suffered in the first round. Assuncao tweeted the photo yesterday along with the following tweets:
With the victory, Assuncao improved to 18-4 overall 3-0 as a bantamweight. Easton, on the other hand, saw an eight fight win streak (three of which came in the UFC) that dated back to 2007 snapped on Saturday night. The question is, who would you guys like to see Assuncao face when he heals up, and where do you think he stands amongst the division’s elite?
While most of you reading this were busy watching the UFC last night, boxing fans throughout the country tuned in to watch Pacquiao/Marquez IV. It’s still too early to tell which sport came out on top in terms of the ratings, but regardless, boxing fans were treated to a dramatic sixth round knockout from one of its greatest active fighters. And no, Pacquiao wasn’t the fighter dishing it out.
Juan Manuel Marquez arguably defeated Manny Pacquiao during their third meeting, but came up short on the scorecards, losing a majority decision. This time around, Marquez took no chances, knocking out Pacquiao with an overhand right with only one second left in round six. Pacquiao, who has now lost back-to-back fights for the first time in his career (although the Bradley decision was pretty absurd), has no plans to retire, although we’ll have to wait and see what this loss does to his marketability.
Video awaits after the jump.
While most of you reading this were busy watching the UFC last night, boxing fans throughout the country tuned in to watch Pacquiao/Marquez IV. It’s still too early to tell which sport came out on top in terms of the ratings, but regardless, boxing fans were treated to a dramatic sixth round knockout from one of its greatest active fighters. And no, Pacquiao wasn’t the fighter dishing it out.
Juan Manuel Marquez arguably defeated Manny Pacquiao during their third meeting, but came up short on the scorecards, losing a majority decision. This time around, Marquez took no chances, knocking out Pacquiao with an overhand right with only one second left in round six. Pacquiao, who has now lost back-to-back fights for the first time in his career (although the Bradley decision was pretty absurd), has no plans to retire, although we’ll have to wait and see what this loss does to his marketability.
Video awaits after the jump.
So where does Pacquiao go from here? And were you more entertained by Pacquiao/Marquez IV or UFC on Fox 5? Let us know which sport you think came out on top last night.
As usual, I drew the short straw, so I had to cover the post fight press conference — I actually volunteered because I am a sad lonely man — and Dana White was not there to moderate (double shit!). You Taters can watch the video for yourselves and get put into a coma or take my word within this posting as gospel. I am fairly certain that nobody was upset with “the best fight card to ever be aired on network TV” even though three of the four fights ended via decision.
Benson Henderson was not only magical during his five-round domination of Nate Diaz but he was seemingly able to conjure his inner David Blaine and make a toothpick mysteriously appear in his mouth at the end of the fight. The UFC Lightweight champ was simply dominant and once he finally arrived at the podium, he also showed the charisma of a world champion. With both an eloquent vocabulary and a seemingly levelheaded delivery, Henderson owned the dais (although he talks really really really fast).
When asked about the Scut-Farkus Toothpick Affair and if he actually had a sliver of wood in his mouth during the fight, Henderson was calm and smooth (go figure).
“I can not confirm or deny that. I normally do. It’s a bad habit, but whatever. Majority of the time I have it in. It is what it is.”
Bendo did his best to downplay his one-sided beating by showing respect to his animated opponent.
“Nate’s a good dude. He’s an emotional fighter and he’s an emotional guy. He is trying to do what it takes to get himself worked up. After the fight he (Diaz) said ‘Good job — great fight and congratulations.’”
(“Ayo, is it cool if I use that toothpick to pop this thing?” Photo courtesy of Tracy Lee/Cagewriter)
As usual, I drew the short straw, so I had to cover the post fight press conference — I actually volunteered because I am a sad lonely man — and Dana White was not there to moderate (double shit!). You Taters can watch the video for yourselves and get put into a coma or take my word within this posting as gospel. I am fairly certain that nobody was upset with “the best fight card to ever be aired on network TV” even though three of the four fights ended via decision.
Benson Henderson was not only magical during his five-round domination of Nate Diaz but he was seemingly able to conjure his inner David Blaine and make a toothpick mysteriously appear in his mouth at the end of the fight. The UFC Lightweight champ was simply dominant and once he finally arrived at the podium, he also showed the charisma of a world champion. With both an eloquent vocabulary and a seemingly levelheaded delivery, Henderson owned the dais (although he talks really really really fast).
When asked about the Scut-Farkus Toothpick Affair and if he actually had a sliver of wood in his mouth during the fight, Henderson was calm and smooth (go figure).
“I can not confirm or deny that. I normally do. It’s a bad habit, but whatever. Majority of the time I have it in. It is what it is.”
Bendo did his best to downplay his one-sided beating by showing respect to his animated opponent.
“Nate’s a good dude. He’s an emotional fighter and he’s an emotional guy. He is trying to do what it takes to get himself worked up. After the fight he (Diaz) said ‘Good job — great fight and congratulations.’”
When asked about a possible rematch with Anthony Pettis (the last man to beat him and the same guy that gave the world proof that Ninjas actually exist), the champion skirted away from the proposed foe, never mentioning Showtime by name.
“I want to fight the best guys at 155. I am not going anywhere…The pool of talent at 155 is pretty deep. I literally want to beat up everybody at 155. I want to fight the best guys on the planet. It doesn’t matter who they are.”
Nate Diaz arrived at the post fight presser 10 or 15 minutes after it had already started — I assume he was reading a manual for blender operation — and immediately took a seat only to hang his head while looking directly at the ground. When he finally raised his Metal Mulisha hat-wearing head, there was obvious extreme damage to his right eye. He confirmed as much when he answered questions from the press.
“I caught a punch in the eye pretty early and things were blurry. He landed a good shot early. I did what I could. It was blurry. I was screwed. I was trying to wait for the eye to recover but it never did. I ran out of time with it. I think, like I said, I was blind most of that fight. I was kind of waiting it out. I was trying to be a little more smarter.” (Ya, he said that – awesome.)
Although the Bendo toothpick questions had already been asked and answered directly by the champion, a member of the press asked Diaz for his opinion on his opponent potentially fighting with an Ethiopian corndog in his mouth during the match. “I don’t know if he did but…That’s weird,” Diaz said. Indeed.
Alexander Gustafsson won a unanimous decision and was seemingly never hurt even when he was clubbed a couple times by Mauricio “Shogun” Rua — who skipped the presser in favor of, what I assume, was greener pastures at the hotel bar. So, immediately the title shot questions come to mind. Though he was somewhat reserved on the microphone, he was not shy when asked if he was ready for Jon Jones (assuming “Bones” kicks the shit out of Chael Sonnen) or if he wants to fight in the meantime.
“When I get the chance to fight for the title I will be more than ready…I want to stay active. I’ll fight whenever. It was too long for me (the layoff after his fight against Thiago Silva on 4/14/12). If they give me one before that I will fight whoever.”
The real “cunt-pickle” (thank you NomadRIP) of the night was both amazing and awkward. Rory MacDonald was awesome during his decimation of BJ Penn (who was absent from the presser because he was at the hospital being treated for potentially broken ribs and a fractured ego). The Waterboy was awe-inspiring. Period. End of Sentence. His stand-up skills against a legend like Penn were impressive, but his disrespectful Ali-shuffle during the fight combined with his weird call-out of Carlos Condit left even the most seasoned MMA viewer taken aback. Luckily, MacDonald doesn’t care if the fans like him.
“I don’t fight for them. People can love me or hate me. I don’t care as long as I fight well.”
With all the comparisons to GSP, can anybody actually imagine a world where Rush would utter anything remotely comparable to that? Regardless, the possibility for MacDonald’s meteoric rise in the welterweight division potentially running into St. Pierre was touched on.
“I don’t know. I’m not there yet. I don’t feel like I need to fight Georges. I am not going to stab him in the back and I don’t want to wreck my opportunity at Tri-Star.”
The whole time, the suited-up Mcdonald, spoke in a weird monotone; Benson Henderson probably takes dumps that are more charismatic than MacDonald’s personality. It was somewhat disappointing to this writer (because I am a gigantic GSP devotee) and I actually expected more from a guy who has been under the tutelage of St. Pierre.
At the end of the night, we were all treated to a great night of fights and hopefully the MMA community agrees. Previous UFC on FOX fight cards have been subpar but this one lived up to the hype. Fight of the Night and Submission of the Night bonus winner, Scott Jorgensen, summed it all up during one of his few responses.
“I don’t enjoy putting on a boring fight.”
And we don’t enjoy watching them, so thankfully, all the participants stepped up and did NOT deliver “twat-waffles” or “Chernobyl love.”
(I don’t know, this song seems oddly appropriate.)
Let me ask you something, Potato Nation; after the unstoppable killing machine that is the 2012 injury curse claimed Tim Means via sauna room KO yesterday, did you think there was any possible way it could get worse? I may not know what your answer is, but I’m going to go ahead and declare you DEAD F*CKING WRONG. Last night’s Bellator 83 main event was supposed to determine the winner of the Season Seven Featherweight Tournament, pitting Shahbulat Shamhalaev against Rad Martinez. But oh, if only life were so simple. Not content with claiming fighters in the days before a fight, the injury curse struck down Shamhalaev with food poisoning during the God damn broadcast last night, forcing the bout to be shuffled to next week’s Bellator 84 card, where one of these two will probably obliterate the testicles of their opponent with a low kick and we can start this tragic experiment all over again.
Now without a main event, the co-main event matchup between former Bellator bantamweight champion Zach Mackovsky and Anthony Leone was bumped up to top billing. But I don’t want to talk about that fight (which Leone out-grappled the undersized Mackovsky en route to a SD victory). I want to talk about the flyweight matchup between Jessica Eye and Bellator 115 pound champ Zoila Gurgel, which despite lasting less than a minute was easily the highlight of a night filled with decisions.
Video and full results after the jump.
(I don’t know, this song seems oddly appropriate.)
Let me ask you something, Potato Nation; after the unstoppable killing machine that is the 2012 injury curse claimed Tim Means via sauna room KO yesterday, did you think there was any possible way it could get worse? I may not know what your answer is, but I’m going to go ahead and declare you DEAD F*CKING WRONG. Last night’s Bellator 83 main event was supposed to determine the winner of the Season Seven Featherweight Tournament, pitting Shahbulat Shamhalaev against Rad Martinez. But oh, if only life were so simple. Not content with claiming fighters in the days before a fight, the injury curse struck down Shamhalaev with food poisoning during the God damn broadcast last night, forcing the bout to be shuffled to next week’s Bellator 84 card, where one of these two will probably obliterate the testicles of their opponent with a low kick and we can start this tragic experiment all over again.
Now without a main event, the co-main event matchup between former Bellator bantamweight champion Zach Mackovsky and Anthony Leone was bumped up to top billing. But I don’t want to talk about that fight (which Leone out-grappled the undersized Mackovsky en route to a SD victory). I want to talk about the flyweight matchup between Jessica Eye and Bellator 115 pound champ Zoila Gurgel, which despite lasting less than a minute was easily the highlight of a night filled with decisions.
We know that Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney reads CagePotato, like, religiously. We know this. Yet for some reason, he refuses to heed our advice about having his promotion’s champions fight in non-title fights. Granted, Bellator’s relationship with 115 pound female champion Zolia Gurgel is rocky to say the least, but the fact that she’s fought two non-title flyweight bouts since winning the belt is a little puzzling to say the least. In either case, you knew it was going to catch up to her eventually, but not many knew it would come in such quick, violent fashion as it did last night.
Squaring off against the 8-1 Jessica “Evil” Eye (official CP nickname “Easy On The“), Gurgel looked to establish her dominance on the feet early. Unfortunately for her, Eye ate her early shots and delivered some better ones of her own, dropping Gurgel mere seconds into the fight. In the scramble that ensued, Eye latched onto a standing arm-triangle ala Matt Riddle vs. Chris Clements that seemed ambitious at best at first. However, Eye made the correct adjustments and simply thrashed Gurgel against the cage until she collapsed in a heap, unconscious and pale faced. Referee Bill Bookwalter called an end to the contest just 58 seconds in. If there was ever an indication that Gurgel should stick to the class she’s the champion of, that was it. Then again, she told ReX that she plans to stay at 125, so I guess it’s back to the drawing board. A great win for Eye, though.
Full results from Bellator 83 are below.
Main Card
Rad Martinez vs. Shahbulat Shamhalaev (fight postponed to Dec. 14, Shamhalaev withdrew due to food poisoning)
Anthony Leone def. Zach Makovsky via split decision (29-28, 29-28, 28-29)
Jessica Eye def. Zoila Gurgel via arm triangle choke submission, Rd. 1 (0:58)
Darrell Horcher def. Chris Liguori via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Undercard
Mike Wessel def. Alexei Kudin via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Jimmie Rivera def. Jesse Brock via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Terrell Hobbs def. Brylan Van Artsdalen via rear naked choke submission, Rd. 1 (3:07)
Tuan Phan def. Matthew Lozano via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Claudio Ledesma def. Bo Harris via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
We’re not sure if Mamed Khalidov has been workshopping any nickname ideas, but as the unofficial authorities on this subject, we’d like to suggest “The Compactor.” Because for the past two or so years, Khalidov has been making his living collecting the UFC’s trash and shredding them into bite-sized pieces before disposing of them like yesterday’s leftovers. In this regard, his victory over TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove was a success, as he secured a rarely seen achilles lock to put Grove away inside the distance. But in a way, the win was one of Khalidov’s less impressive performances in recent memory. I mean, he even let Grove get to the second round for Chrissakes, and considering UFC veterans like Rodney Wallace, James “WHY ME?!” Irvin, Matt Lindland, and Jesse Taylor couldn’t make it out of the second minute, it really makes you wonder just why Khalidov decided to dick around for as long as he did.
We kid, we kid. In his last six fights, Khalidov has scored two victories by knockout, one by armbar, one by kneebar, one by guillotine, and one by the aforementioned Achilles lock. The man is as close to a human Swiss army knife as you will ever find, and once the UFC offers him a contract worth more than the paper it’s printed on, expect to see him making waves stateside.
Unfortunately, the video of his fight with Grove in unembeddable, so you’ll have to go here to check it out.
After the jump: Videos of the night’s co-main event — which pitted Rodney Wallace against Michael Materla for the KSW middleweight title — and the scrap between UFC veterans Matt Horwich and Terry Martin.
We’re not sure if Mamed Khalidov has been workshopping any nickname ideas, but as the unofficial authorities on this subject, we’d like to suggest “The Compactor.” Because for the past two or so years, Khalidov has been making his living collecting the UFC’s trash and shredding them into bite-sized pieces before disposing of them like yesterday’s leftovers. In this regard, his victory over TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove was a success, as he secured a rarely seen achilles lock to put Grove away inside the distance. But in a way, the win was one of Khalidov’s less impressive performances in recent memory. I mean, he even let Grove get to the second round for Chrissakes, and considering UFC veterans like Rodney Wallace, James “WHY ME?!” Irvin, Matt Lindland, and Jesse Taylor couldn’t make it out of the second minute, it really makes you wonder just why Khalidov decided to dick around for as long as he did.
We kid, we kid. In his last six fights, Khalidov has scored two victories by knockout, one by armbar, one by kneebar, one by guillotine, and one by the aforementioned Achilles lock. The man is as close to a human Swiss army knife as you will ever find, and once the UFC offers him a contract worth more than the paper it’s printed on, expect to see him making waves stateside.
Unfortunately, the video of his fight with Grove in unembeddable, so you’ll have to go here to check it out.
We’re not sure how Rodney Wallace fandangled his way into a middleweight title shot considering he was knocked out by none other than Mamed Khalidov in his last KSW appearance, but be that as it may, Wallace found himself riding a two fight win streak heading into his match against 18-3 Michal “Magic” Materla. Unfortunately for Wallace, his second appearance under the KSW banner would go even worse than the first. Materla only needed one punch — specifically, the first one he threw — to send Wallace crashing to the mat like a farm plow stuck in a rut. Face down, ass up, that’s the way Michal likes to fuck Chuck.
A few follow-up hammerfists sealed the deal, and the newly crowned middleweight champ now finds himself on a six fight win streak that includes victories over UFC veterans Jay Silva and Matt Horwich, the latter of which squared off with fellow UFC vet terry Martin just beforehand.
When you read this headline, did you think it was Terry Martin who would end up on the wrong end of the first-punch KO? No one would have blamed, for your reasoning was undeniably sound, but Martin would actually succumb to an even more demoralizing loss than usual at the hands of Matt Horwich last Saturday.
Despite being taken down early, Horwich — who is looking like Roy Nelson’s meth-dealing cousin nowadays — utilized his superior grappling background to pull out a late first round TKO stoppage over Martin. And we say TKO in the loosest sense of the term, as Horwich managed to follow an omoplata sweep with some of the honest-to-God weakest ground-n-pound punches we have ever witnessed. Still, the defeat had to be somewhat of a moral victory for Martin, in that he wasn’t completely zombified by the time the fight was over like every other one of his 8 (T)KO losses. I hope that dude likes smoothies, because that’s all he’s gonna be eating in the future if he keeps this up.
