Before Tank Abbott re-enters the UFC and takes the heavyweight strap back from these pussy-ass point-fighters, his latest comeback will begin with a tune-up fight against guyliner-clad palooka Ruben “Warpath” Villareal, who has lost eight of his last ten fights. The match will go down April 13th at King of the Cage: Fighting Legends, at Gold Country Casino in Oroville, California.
According to a KOTC press release published last week, Tank Abbott is “the world’s most famous cage fighter” (!!!), and his fight against Warpath will be for the King of the Cage Superfight title, whatever the hell that means. And of course, Abbott’s second-career as a novelist also gets a plug:
“[Abbott] recently took a few years off to write a 300,000 word trilogy about the origins of cage fighting entitled “Befor There Were Rules” with the first novel, “Bar Brawler”, now available for purchase as a paperback or digital download from Amazon.com.”
I think it’s really cool of KOTC to keep the misspelling of “Befor,” so as not to embarrass or confuse Tank. Anyway, there’s a little video profile on Tank after the jump hyping the 4/13 fight. Check it out if you want, but just keep in mind that his fascinating toupee is still in hiding.
Before Tank Abbott re-enters the UFC and takes the heavyweight strap back from these pussy-ass point-fighters, his latest comeback will begin with a tune-up fight against guyliner-clad palooka Ruben “Warpath” Villareal, who has lost eight of his last ten fights. The match will go down April 13th at King of the Cage: Fighting Legends, at Gold Country Casino in Oroville, California.
According to a KOTC press release published last week, Tank Abbott is “the world’s most famous cage fighter” (!!!), and his fight against Warpath will be for the King of the Cage Superfight title, whatever the hell that means. And of course, Abbott’s second-career as a novelist also gets a plug:
“[Abbott] recently took a few years off to write a 300,000 word trilogy about the origins of cage fighting entitled “Befor There Were Rules” with the first novel, “Bar Brawler”, now available for purchase as a paperback or digital download from Amazon.com.”
I think it’s really cool of KOTC to keep the misspelling of “Befor,” so as not to embarrass or confuse Tank. Anyway, there’s a little video profile on Tank after the jump hyping the 4/13 fight. Check it out if you want, but just keep in mind that his fascinating toupee is still in hiding.
“A true warrior never puts down his sword and I love to do it. It’s as simple as that. I never left.”
Those were the words spoken by MMA pioneer and schnauzer-impersonator Tank Abbott yesterday when he announced his return to the sport of MMA after a three year absence. Yes, despite dropping 8 of his last 10 contests by first round stoppage and venturing into the bizarre worlds of celebrity boxing and backyard wrestling in his spare time, the 47 year-old Abbott is giving this MMA thing another try. We guarantee this judgement call has nothing to do with the fact that he just spent the last of the money he made for the Kimbo Slice fight on a bottle of Fleischmann’s that is now empty.
Even more shocking than Abbott’s decision to knock ten more years off his life was his decision to ditch the gorgeous hairpiece/Santa beard combination that we last saw him donning. The interviewer in the above video also noticed this, and showed a shocking lack of awareness when asking Tank why he decided to shave it off, as if it was ever real hair to begin with. “I don’t need long hair when I’m training,” Tank calmly replied, also bewildered that his bird’s nest could have possibly fooled someone that wasn’t legally blind.
“A true warrior never puts down his sword and I love to do it. It’s as simple as that. I never left.”
Those were the words spoken by MMA pioneer and schnauzer-impersonator Tank Abbott yesterday when he announced his return to the sport of MMA after a three year absence. Yes, despite dropping 8 of his last 10 contests by first round stoppage and venturing into the bizarre worlds of celebrity boxing and backyard wrestling in his spare time, the 47 year-old Abbott is giving this MMA thing another try. We guarantee this judgement call has nothing to do with the fact that he just spent the last of the money he made for the Kimbo Slice fight on a bottle of Fleischmann’s that is now empty.
Even more shocking than Abbott’s decision to knock ten more years off his life was his decision to ditch the gorgeous hairpiece/Santa beard combination that we last saw him donning. The interviewer in the above video also noticed this, and showed a shocking lack of awareness when asking Tank why he decided to shave it off, as if it was ever real hair to begin with. “I don’t need long hair when I’m training,” Tank calmly replied, also bewildered that his bird’s nest could have possibly fooled someone that wasn’t legally blind.
And who might Tank be facing in his triumphant comeback fight, you ask? None other than Ruben “Warpath” Villareal, who has also dropped 8 of his past 10 fights. CAN YOU SAY SUPERFIGHT? Ironically enough, Villareal’s only notable win that came during that streak was a first round knockout over the similarly drunk/awesome Don Frye in his comeback fight. And unless Villareal comes into this fight short an eye and both arms, we can probably expect a similar result here. Although if you were to ask us, Tank’s decision not to call out Tater Williams seems like a major blown opportunity. The sheer amount of theses across the sneezes in that fight could have really changed some people’s views on the sport in general.
Toughest chin: That has to be Masakatsu Funaki and my last opponent Ruben Villareal. Funaki I hit and kneed so hard that my palms and knee were bruised, until the final knee where I grabbed Funaki’s hair and drilled the knee in his face, but boy, every time he got back up, it was crazy. Villareal, although I had a rib out and couldn’t hit a bag the last two weeks [of training], I still hit him hard, and right on his chin every time. First he said to me, “Damn, you’re fast.” I said “Thank you,” then I hit him again and he said, “And you hit hard.” I told him, “Apparently not hard enough!” It was funny.
Heaviest hands: I was very fortunate never to have anybody connecting full. I have pretty good defense. So I honestly can’t tell you; I’ve never been hit hard. Though I guess in training I have. Pedro Rizzo has very heavy hands.
Toughest chin: That has to be Masakatsu Funaki and my last opponent Ruben Villareal. Funaki I hit and kneed so hard that my palms and knee were bruised, until the final knee where I grabbed Funaki’s hair and drilled the knee in his face, but boy, every time he got back up, it was crazy. Villareal, although I had a rib out and couldn’t hit a bag the last two weeks [of training], I still hit him hard, and right on his chin every time. First he said to me, “Damn, you’re fast.” I said “Thank you,” then I hit him again and he said, “And you hit hard.” I told him, “Apparently not hard enough!” It was funny.
Heaviest hands: I was very fortunate never to have anybody connecting full. I have pretty good defense. So I honestly can’t tell you; I’ve never been hit hard. Though I guess in training I have. Pedro Rizzo has very heavy hands.
Best grappling/submissions: At the time I would say Funaki and Ken Shamrock. I never faced Ken with my new and improved ground skills, After my last loss against Ken, I finally found one person who would train with me. We would go crazy, only ground, two or sometimes three times a day. From my next eight fights, I won seven by submission. I got “the bug.”
Most underrated:Keiichiro Yamamiya, he beat guys like, Denis Kang, Chris Lytle, Nate Marquardt, Chael Sonnen — he was always flying under the radar.
Fastest on his feet/hardest to hit: Mezger.
Most annoying:Jason de Lucia, was complaining about that I hit him in the throat, pills, and did some other things. First of all, I didn’t hit his throat. Second, you know how hard that is when somebody has his chin down? The kick is also not even close to the pills. You will hear me say in the fight, “Tell them the truth Jason.” But Jason could also be on my list as the most underrated. I think he had a lot of bad luck all the time, but he had good ground and striking skills, one of the first fighters who had both, but for some reason it didn’t work out for him, which surprised me.
Best overall fighter: Probably Tsuyoshi Kohsaka, Kodokan black belt Judo and Maurice Smith taught him striking. I think Guy Mezger also had good overall skills, and later Frank Shamrock, when he improved his striking.
Most surprising:Kiuma Kunioku, he was fast on the ground and hard to submit. I caught him in a guillotine but he used a “rope escape” later that won me the fight. I thought he would be easy to submit or KO, was he was very “slippery” — not from grease, but from skill. From his 58 matches he only lost 4 times by submission.
Sweetest victory: My rematch with Funaki. He beat me the first time, then they waited for my rematch until my last fight on the contract was up. They thought he was gonna beat me again, and that would be, of course, good for the new contract negotiations. They were wrong.
Most bitter defeat: My second match against Ken. I trained to defend that knee bar for four weeks, two times a day, we focused on that exact move, “Knee bar from half guard.” But they taught me wrong! They taught me that he was gonna slide his foot over my hip to get it, and in the fight I focused on that, but then he threw his leg over my head? That really made me angry. They should have told me, “just hold his leg,” but since I didn’t have any ground experience, I, of course, listened to the person that was teaching me. It’s OK though, that fight made me the fighter I became. From that moment on I listened, but I always would look for more ways myself, and it worked — I never lost a fight again!
(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)
For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.
So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.
First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:
Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.
Join us after the jump for more from the interview. Don’t worry, it only gets better.
(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)
For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.
So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.
First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:
Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.
Now, we’re not going to say anything that a poorly executed ESPN segment hasn’t already attempted to say in regards to fighter pay. If fighters feel they are being mistreated, they have several options:
1. Form a union, which Dana White has long stated is “up to them,”
2. Goad Zuffa into firing them under the belief that other promotions will pay more ie. Rampage Jackson.
3. Use a combination of arrogance, pleading, and incomprehensibility to confuse the Zuffa brass into paying them millions ie. James Toney.
We would say that it is unfair for Frye to base the income of the President of the UFC against that of its lower-tier fighters, but honestly, we are too afraid of Frye to state it outwardly.
Anyway, Frye continued his verbal assault on The Baldfather throughout the interview, which can be heard in its entirety here. But nothing hit harder than Frye’s claim that White had “ruined the sport” he loved so dearly:
The fans are fantastic. Fantastic fans. But the thing is, Dana White’s just ruined the sport. I got to thinking about it today and you know, he ruined it for me. I thought, ‘Why am I letting that asshole dictate my life and take all of the fun out of it for me?’ I just ignore him and go on with my life.
We don’t care how thick skinned DW claims to be, that one must have hurt.
A few of our other favorite tidbits are as follows:
On whether or not he brings it every fight: “A couple of times I didn’t pull it off. I screwed up, but I’m not like Brock Lesnar where there’s a trail of piss from the locker room to the cage. I come to fight. I’m not walking in there looking for a soft spot to land.”
On motivation: “Yeah, it’s called an empty wallet.”
On his most recent KO loss to Ruben Villareal: “I didn’t train. I worked out, but I didn’t train. There’s quite a difference, quite a difference. We had the weigh-ins. Ruben took off his shirt and looked like Tarzan. I tell you what, if I had a car, I’d have jumped in it and left right then and there. I deserved it. Ruben Villareal, he stomped the s–t out of me and I deserved it because I thought I’d go in there just as Don Frye and my press clippings would impress him. Apparently he never learned to read on the reservation. He wasn’t impressed with my print.”
Just like those talks with your senile grandfather, it wouldn’t be a Don Frye moment if it didn’t contain just a tinge of racism, right?
On Sunday, 46-year-old MMA old-schooler Don Frye competed at a Gladiator Challenge event in Lincoln, California, making his first cage appearance since a one-minute TKO loss to Dave Herman in 2009. This one lasted a little longer, but ended the same way, with Don eating punches until he fell over. Poor Don.
Frye was originally supposed to face Mike Gonzales, but ended up throwing leather with journeyman Ruben “Warpath” Villareal; Frye and Warpath had previously fought to a draw at a King of the Cage event back in 2006. Villareal didn’t leave it to the judges this time, KO’ing Frye about two-and-a-half minutes into the fight. The win snapped a five-fight losing streak for Warpath, and earned him the Gladiator Challenge light-heavyweight title.
On Sunday, 46-year-old MMA old-schooler Don Frye competed at a Gladiator Challenge event in Lincoln, California, making his first cage appearance since a one-minute TKO loss to Dave Herman in 2009. This one lasted a little longer, but ended the same way, with Don eating punches until he fell over. Poor Don.
Frye was originally supposed to face Mike Gonzales, but ended up throwing leather with journeyman Ruben “Warpath” Villareal; Frye and Warpath had previously fought to a draw at a King of the Cage event back in 2006. Villareal didn’t leave it to the judges this time, KO’ing Frye about two-and-a-half minutes into the fight. The win snapped a five-fight losing streak for Warpath, and earned him the Gladiator Challenge light-heavyweight title.
