(It is a little known myth that if you tickle a Shrexican behind the ear, he will fall under your spell forever.)
The California State Athletic Commission released the official fighter salaries for UFC on FOX earlier today, and if you were a follower of June White’s theory that Dana sold his soul to the Devil for the Fox deal, then this is all the evidence you’ll need. The total (disclosed) fighter payroll came out to exactly $666,000. The proof is in the pudding, folks. Start drafting up your PowerPoint conspiracy reports now.
Snatching up nearly half of that payroll, newly crowned heavyweight champ Junior Dos Santos not only walked away with the gold and the glory, but the cash and the girl (Props, Boo) as well. Earning 3,437 dollars per second, Dos Santos collected a $220,000 paycheck that took less effort than a supporting role in an animated kids movie.
The only other fighter even close to Dos Santos in terms of salary was that of his victim, Cain Velasquez, who took home an even $100,000 for his efforts. Check out the full salary list below. Keep in mind, these figures are void of any locker room bonuses, fight bonuses, sponsorships, or any other nonsense.
Junior dos Santos: $220,000 ($110,000 to show, $110,000 to win)
def. Cain Velasquez: $100,000
Ben Henderson: $60,000 ($30,000 to show, $30,000 to win)
def. Clay Guida: $40,000
Dustin Poirier: $20,000 ($10,000 to show, $10,000 to win)
def. Pablo Garza: $8,000
Ricardo Lamas: $20,000 ($10,000 to show, $10,000 to win)
def. Cub Swanson: $15,000
DaMarques Johnson: $28,000 ($14,000 to show, $14,000 to win)
def. Clay Harvison: $8,000
Darren Uyenoyama: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 to win)
def. Norifumi Yamamoto: $15,000
Robert Peralta: $16,000 ($8,000 to show, $8,000 to win)
def. Mackens Semerzier: $8,000
Alex Caceres: $16,000 ($8,000 to show, $8,000 to win)
def. Cole Escovedo: $6,000
Mike Pierce: $36,000 ($18,000 to show, $18,000 to win)
def. Paul Bradley: $8,000
Aaron Rosa: $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 to win)
def. Matt Lucas: $6,000
Underpaid: Damn near everybody. Look, I understand that this card wasn’t exactly stacked with high rollers or anything, but for being damn near the only player in town, the UFC needs to start showing it a little more. Giving someone six thousand dollars to cover training camps, hospital bills, and personal expenses is ridiculous for the sport’s highest promotion. Except in Matt Lucas’ case. His cut was juuust right.
Overpaid: Cub Swanson, I guess? It’s not that he’s overpaid, per se, it’s just that there is no way he deserves to make more than Pablo Garza and nearly as much as Dustin Poirier, especially considering who his Zuffa record and how this fight ended.
-Danga
LAS VEGAS – The Nevada State Athletic Commission on Monday released the salary figures for 
LAS VEGAS – The Nevada State Athletic Commission on Tuesday released the salary figures for Saturday’s 
