Tag: Soa Palelei

GIF-Ranking the ‘Fight Night 33: Hunt vs. Bigfoot’ Main Card Fights By Interest Level


(Yeah, we had pretty much the same reaction to that picture of Silva’s feet.)

On Wednesday, we took a step back from the bright lights of the UFC to preview some great fights transpiring under the WSOF, Invicta FC, and Cage Warriors banners this weekend. But make no mistake, it doesn’t get any bigger than tonight’s Fight Night 33 main event between Mark Hunt and Antonio Silva. Seriously, these dudes are enormous. I imagine this fight going down like the battle between E. Honda and Zangief in the Street Fighter movie. That’s right, the movie. Show Raul Julia some respect; he died making that piece of shit that I’ve seen no less than 20 times.

Regardless of your stance on Street Fighter, we can all agree that the UFC has dropped a relatively stacked card onto our laps tonight. A six fight main card featuring the likes of Mauricio Rua, James Te Huna, Pat Barry, and crazy cat lady Julie Kedzie is a card worth delving a little deeper into, so we decided to break down each fight and rank them according to our own completely unbiased interest level. Oh yeah, and there will be gifs. Big gifs. Small gifs. Scanners gifs. Enjoy them, then make sure to swing by CagePotato at 9 p.m. EST for our liveblog from down unda’.

#6 – Clint Hester vs. Dylan Andrews 

We mean no disrespect to these TUF 17 alums, who have both scored impressive KO victories in recent fights (Andrews is actually 2-0 in the UFC, with his last fight ending in a third round knockout of Papy Abedi). But simply put, one of these fights have to be ranked last, and if you think we’re placing these guys over Pat Barry or Julie Kedzie on our “Must Watch” list, you’re dead wrong, son.


(Yeah, we had pretty much the same reaction to that picture of Silva’s feet.)

On Wednesday, we took a step back from the bright lights of the UFC to preview some great fights transpiring under the WSOF, Invicta FC, and Cage Warriors banners this weekend. But make no mistake, it doesn’t get any bigger than tonight’s Fight Night 33 main event between Mark Hunt and Antonio Silva. Seriously, these dudes are enormous. I imagine this fight going down like the battle between E. Honda and Zangief in the Street Fighter movie. That’s right, the movie. Show Raul Julia some respect; he died making that piece of shit that I’ve seen no less than 20 times.

Regardless of your stance on Street Fighter, we can all agree that the UFC has dropped a relatively stacked card onto our laps tonight. A six fight main card featuring the likes of Mauricio Rua, James Te Huna, Pat Barry, and crazy cat lady Julie Kedzie is a card worth delving a little deeper into, so we decided to break down each fight and rank them according to our own completely unbiased interest level. Oh yes, there will be gifs. Big gifs. Small gifs. Scanners gifs. Enjoy them, then make sure to swing by CagePotato at 9 p.m. EST for our liveblog from down unda’.

 

#6 – Clint Hester vs. Dylan Andrews 

We mean no disrespect to these TUF 17 alums, who have both scored impressive KO victories in recent fights (Andrews is actually 2-0 in the UFC, with his last fight ending in a third round knockout of Papy Abedi). But simply put, one of these fights have to be ranked last, and if you think we’re placing these guys over Pat Barry or Julie Kedzie on our “Must Watch” list, you’re dead wrong, son.

Whether during their time on the show or in the actual octagon, both Hester and Andrews have proven themselves to be consistently entertaining fighters with above average cardio and serious power in their hands to boot. In fact, the two have only gone the distance 4 times in 33 fights combined, making this fight an early frontrunner for KOTN. Until that KO is overshadowed by at least one of the marquee matchups, that is. Official Ranking:

 

#5 – Julie Kedzie vs. Beth Correia 

How can you not love Julie Kedzie? She’s well-spoken, perpetually pleasant, and more adorable than a thousand kittens in a thousand cups. She does outstanding work as a commentator over at Invicta, and to top it all off, she’s not afraid to kick a bitch in the face when need be (Author’s note: I mean no disrespect, Miesha. That’s just how the saying goes. We good?). Kedzie is the definition of a pioneer and has been throwing down for longer than 90% of her fellow WMMA stars. With her bubbly demeanor and vicious skills hidden just below the surface, Kedzie is essentially the living embodiment of the No Fear logo.

But our love for Kedzie aside, it’s hard to see her sticking around the organization should she lose to UFC newcomer Bethe Correia, a 6-0 Jungle Fight veteran who has scored just one finish in her professional career. Kedzie hasn’t been able to claim victory since 2011 and is currently riding a 3-fight losing streak including a unanimous decision loss to Germaine de Randamie in her UFC debut, so yeah, she could use a win here. But if the weigh-ins were any indication, Kedzie ain’t scurred of Correia’s weak intimidation game (scroll to the 17:30 mark then LOL). Official Ranking:

 

#4 – Ryan Bader vs. Anthony Perosh

If it were up to just me, this fight would be ranked a bit higher. I like watching old dudes kick ass, which is why the career resurgence of Anthony Perosh had been one of my favorite stories to follow over the past few years. He’s 4-1 in his past 5, and although you probably won’t see it on any “Best of the Year” lists, I will go on record and say that Perosh’s 14-second humbling of Vinny Magalhaes was not only my favorite KO of the year, but possibly my favorite MMA moment of the year. It was a comeuppance right up there with Stevens vs. McKenzie and Aoki vs. Nagashima, and that Perosh was able to do so after being shut down by Ryan Jimmo in just 7 seconds in his previous fight speaks volumes of his character and toughness.

But Ryan Bader has put down more old dudes than Jack Kevorkian. Vladimir Matyushenko? Choked out in 50 seconds. Jason Brilz? KO’d in just over a minute. Ryan Bader treats senior citizens worse than disgruntled retirement home workers, and if the 41 year-old Perosh doesn’t keep his wits about him, he could end up flat on his back like that time he tried to carry the box of Christmas lights into the attic by himself. Any of these old people jokes doing it for you? Official Ranking:

 

#3 – Pat Barry vs. Soa Palelei 

We don’t like to use the phrase “Loser Leaves Town” when Pat Barry is involved, so let’s call this a “Shit or Get Off the Pot” fight for both men.

After spending some six years trying to erase the memory of his horrendous one-off fight at UFC 79 by crushing the likes of Bob Sapp and Sean McCorkle in Australia-based promotions, Palelei was finally granted another shot at UFC 164…and proceeded to put on another Toughman-level fight with Nikita Krylov. Although Palelei would walk away from the fight victorious (and later claim that a rib injury was to blame for his poor performance), there’s no denying that Palelei is on thin ice here. If he is trounced by Barry or fails to impress in victory again, it’ll be back to the minors for this Aussie.

The same can be said for our boy Barry, unfortunately, who has simply never been able to get any momentum going in the octagon. He’s gone win-loss in his past 4 fights and is on the heels of a disappointing first round TKO loss to Shawn Jordan at UFC 161, so look for “HD” to utilize his footwork and speed advantage against the heavy-handed Palelei. If not, he’ll have some splainin’ to do to “Thug” Rose, and brother, that is not a doghouse you want to be in. Official Ranking:

FYI, Ms. Hepburn is saying “Timber,” because Barry is going to chop that vegemite sandwich-eatin’ sumbitch down.

 

#2 – Mauricio Rua vs. James Te Huna

Speaking of “shit or get off the pot,” Dana White has all but declared this Shogun’s last chance at 205 lbs., offering him the alternatives of either cutting to 185 or retiring should he lose to Te Huna. Personally, I’d rather see Shogun retire without having to risk his life cutting weight, but methinks we’re in for a vintage Rua performance tonight.

Te Huna, on the other hand, is a dynamite-fisted banger (or for short, a “fistbanger”) who presents a mostly one-dimensional but dangerous challenge for Rua. As we’ve seen, Shogun has lost a bit of snap in his punches as of late, and a Shogun without his usual speed and onslaught of leg kicks is a Shogun content to stand in the pocket and trade. This is a terrible strategy to bring against Te Huna. The Australian is not just some swing for the fences, home-run puncher; he is perhaps one of the more technically sound boxers in the light heavyweight division, having set the record for significant strikes landed in a single round against Joey Beltran at UFC on FUEL 4.

All I’m saying is, PRIDE fanboys like myself should start preparing for the possibility of an upset. Official Ranking:

 

#1 – Mark Hunt vs. Antonio Silva

The attitude of Mark Hunt is equal parts Roger Murtaugh and Sweet Brown, in that he is both getting too old for this shit and truly never had time for this shit to begin with. When Mark Hunt knocks you out, he does not require a referee’s intervention. He simply struts away, leaving your broken down body in a puddle of urine and knowing that you will do nothing to invalidate his decision. Antonio Silva will tell you that he is going to submit Hunt tonight, and maybe he believes that. He is mistaken.

MARK HUNT WILL REPRESENT. YOU WILL WATCH MARK HUNT PUNT ANTONIO SILVA’S HEAD INTO THE STANDS AND RESTORE THE #RALLYFORHUNT MOVEMENT. MARK HUNT KNOWS NO FEAR. BECAUSE PRIDE. #RALLYFORHUNT. AHHH!! AAAAHHHHH!!! Official Ranking:


–J. Jones

Fight Booking Alert: Pat Barry vs. Soa Palelei on for UFC Dec. 7 Australia Card


(UFC Heavyweight Pat Barry | Photo by Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

The UFC Fight Night 33 card taking place this December in Brisbane, Australia has just picked up its third match up as heavyweights Pat Barry and Soa Palelei are now set to face one another. Barry is coming off a TKO loss to Shawn Jordan at UFC 161 this past June and Palelei off a UFC debut win just over two weeks ago at UFC 164.

Palelei’s win is almost being treated like a loss by some, notably UFC President Dana White who, after UFC 164, criticized Palelei’s bout with Nikita Krylov saying that the fight was a poor representation of what UFC-level fighting is, calling the fight “sloppy” and the fighters poorly conditioned. We can’t yet know what kind of shape Barry and Palelei will come in to their fight in but we can make an educated guess that at least Barry will make the bout exciting.

Also already booked on the Brisbane card is Mauricio “Shogun” Rua vs. James Te Huna and Antonio Silva vs. Mark Hunt.

– Elias Cepeda


(UFC Heavyweight Pat Barry | Photo by Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

The UFC Fight Night 33 card taking place this December in Brisbane, Australia has just picked up its third match up as heavyweights Pat Barry and Soa Palelei are now set to face one another. Barry is coming off a TKO loss to Shawn Jordan at UFC 161 this past June and Palelei off a UFC debut win just over two weeks ago at UFC 164.

Palelei’s win is almost being treated like a loss by some, notably UFC President Dana White who, after UFC 164, criticized Palelei’s bout with Nikita Krylov saying that the fight was a poor representation of what UFC-level fighting is, calling the fight “sloppy” and the fighters poorly conditioned. We can’t yet know what kind of shape Barry and Palelei will come in to their fight in but we can make an educated guess that at least Barry will make the bout exciting.

Also already booked on the Brisbane card is Mauricio “Shogun” Rua vs. James Te Huna and Antonio Silva vs. Mark Hunt.

– Elias Cepeda

Booking Roundup: Uriah Hall Draws Nick Ring for UFC on FOX Sports 1:1, Soa Palelei’s Return Finally Set


(Hall attempts the infamous “Cover Your Eyes and Pray the Scary Monster Goes Away” defense to no avail at the TUF 17 Finale. Photo via Getty Images.)

Perhaps the only thing more dangerous than accepting a coaching gig on The Ultimate Fighter is being heralded by Dana White as “the next Anderson Silva” while still participating on the reality show. Ten seasons ago, it was Phillipe Nover who drew the unjust and bombastic comparisons to the pound-for-pound king. Though a loss to Efrain Escudero — who would also become one of the show’s more notorious washouts — in the season’s finale may have not derailed his hype train entirely, his consecutive losses to Kyle Bradley (ouch.) and Robert Emerson (OH COME ON!) surely did. But just as every story has a happy ending, Nover now earns his living pushing the stretchers, not lying on them.

This past season, we were similarly informed that Uriah Hall was “the nastiest guy in Ultimate Fighter history,” and told by Chael Sonnen himself that Hall was not only at Silva’s level, but above it. To be fair, there was plenty of visual evidence to lend credence to this claim, but that didn’t stop newcomer Kelvin Gastelum from spoiling Hall’s championship run before it could even begin at the season’s finale.

In any case, if Hall doesn’t want to end up changing bedpans for crotchety geezers in the future (not that there’s anything wrong with that), he better bring his A-game when he meets fellow TUF-finalist Nick Ring at the much anticipated UFC on FOX Sports 1:1 card in August. That’s right, Bostonians, not only do we get Overeem vs. Brown, Alves vs. other Brown, Lauzon vs. Johnson, and (potentially) Henderson vs. Grant, but now we get to see Uriah Hall’s make-or-break fight in the UFC. Expect some Eddie Gordo-level shit to go down in this one, Potato Nation.


(Hall attempts the infamous “Cover Your Eyes and Pray the Scary Monster Goes Away” defense to no avail at the TUF 17 Finale. Photo via Getty Images.)

Perhaps the only thing more dangerous than accepting a coaching gig on The Ultimate Fighter is being heralded by Dana White as “the next Anderson Silva” while still participating on the reality show. Ten seasons ago, it was Phillipe Nover who drew the unjust and bombastic comparisons to the pound-for-pound king. Though a loss to Efrain Escudero — who would also become one of the show’s more notorious washouts — in the season’s finale may have not derailed his hype train entirely, his consecutive losses to Kyle Bradley (ouch.) and Robert Emerson (OH COME ON!) surely did. But just as every story has a happy ending, Nover now earns his living pushing the stretchers, not lying on them.

This past season, we were similarly informed that Uriah Hall was “the nastiest guy in Ultimate Fighter history,” and told by Chael Sonnen himself that Hall was not only at Silva’s level, but above it. To be fair, there was plenty of visual evidence to lend credence to this claim, but that didn’t stop newcomer Kelvin Gastelum from spoiling Hall’s championship run before it could even begin at the season’s finale.

In any case, if Hall doesn’t want to end up changing bedpans for crotchety geezers in the future (not that there’s anything wrong with that), he better bring his A-game when he meets fellow TUF-finalist Nick Ring at the much anticipated UFC on FOX Sports 1:1 card in August. That’s right, Bostonians, not only do we get Overeem vs. Brown, Alves vs. other Brown, Lauzon vs. Johnson, and (potentially) Henderson vs. Grant, but now we get to see Uriah Hall’s make-or-break fight in the UFC. Expect some Eddie Gordo-level shit to go down in this one, Potato Nation.

Ring is also coming of a disappointing loss — a split decision to Chris Camozzi at UFC 158 – and has dropped two of his past three fights. We don’t want to say that the chair will be kicked out from underneath him with a loss here, but the noose is surely tied around his neck and BROOKS WAS HERE has already been carved in the support beam above him, so to speak. Rita Hayworth.

Do any of you guys remember how Soa Palelei was pulled from UFC 161 for not being a big enough name and replaced by Roy Nelson? Well it looks like the move was ultimately a blessing in disguise for the Aussie, as he has been booked against octagon newcomer Nikita Krylov at UFC 164, which goes down from the BMO Harris Bradley Center in Milwaukee on August 31st.

Palelei was originally scheduled to face the highly-touted Stipe Miocic on June 15th, a fight that he was a sizable underdog heading into, but now finds himself facing a guy who not only calls himself “The Al Capone,” but dresses like him in his fighter profile picture.


(I swear, officer, I’ve never even *heard* of this Roger Rabbit fellow you speak of. Photo via Sherdog.)

Known by the everyday world as Nikita Krylov (why anyone with the name of a James Bond supervillain would want a nickname in the first place is beyond me), this 21 year-old has gone undefeated in 14 contests, with not one of those fights making it outside of the first round. Sounds intimidating, right? Not to worry; a quick gander over Krylov’s list of opponents reveals nine…count ‘em, NINE opponents with no professional wins, ONE fighter with over six fights to his credit, and TWO winning records. Krylov may be the most feared can-crusher in all of the Ukraine, but Soa Palelei is on a whole. notha. level of can-crushing notoriety here. Expect Palelei to come in as a heavy favorite.

And in injury-shuffling news, the hotly-anticipated lightweight bout between Edson Barboza and John Makdessi at UFC 162: Silva vs. Weidman has suffered a minor setback, as Makdessi has gone down with an undisclosed injury. Replacing him will be Rafaello “Tractor” Oliveira, who has gone 1-2 in his second octagon stint. After suffering a particularly vicious and prolonged beating at the hands of Yves Edwards at UFC Live 6 in 2011, Oliveira fought just once last year, scoring a unanimous decision victory over Yoislandy Izquierdo at UFC 148. At least we will see a knockout is what we’re trying to say.

–J. Jones

Roy Nelson vs. Stipe Miocic Added to UFC 161; Soa Palelei Gets the Boot


(Hey, it could have been worse, right? / Photo via Getty Images)

In an effort to beef up a card that recently lost a title fight due to injury, the UFC has just added a heavyweight bout between Roy Nelson and Stipe Miocic to the main card of UFC 161 (June 15th, Winnipeg). It’s an unexpected booking, to say the least — and not just because it gives Nelson a speedy seven-week turnaround between fights.

“Big Country” is currently on the hottest streak of his UFC career, picking up his third-straight first-round knockout against Cheick Kongo at UFC 159 last month. Meanwhile, Miocic is a much lower-profile prospect, whose hype as an undefeated wrecking machine fell apart when he was TKO’d by Stefan Struve last September. In other words, the matchup is a bit of a step down for Nelson, who doesn’t have much to gain here other than the possibility of earning his fifth UFC Knockout of the Night bonus.

In addition, Miocic was already booked on the card against returning Australian banger Soa Palelei, who has knocked out his last eight opponents while competing in Australia. (See, now that matchup made sense.) But with UFC 161 in need of extra star power, Roy Nelson replaces Palelei, who will be sitting this event out unless he’s needed as an injury replacement. But don’t cry for Soa — he once stood up Danga for an interview, so he’s pretty much dead to us. What, you thought Dana White was only guy who could hold grudges?

In a related story, MMAJunkie reports that UFC officials are currently seeking a replacement opponent for Eddie Wineland, and if they can lock one down, UFC 161 will feature six fights on the pay-per-view card instead of the usual five. The current lineup is after the jump…


(Hey, it could have been worse, right? / Photo via Getty Images)

In an effort to beef up a card that recently lost a title fight due to injury, the UFC has just added a heavyweight bout between Roy Nelson and Stipe Miocic to the main card of UFC 161 (June 15th, Winnipeg). It’s an unexpected booking, to say the least — and not just because it gives Nelson a speedy seven-week turnaround between fights.

“Big Country” is currently on the hottest streak of his UFC career, picking up his third-straight first-round knockout against Cheick Kongo at UFC 159 last month. Meanwhile, Miocic is a much lower-profile prospect, whose hype as an undefeated wrecking machine fell apart when he was TKO’d by Stefan Struve last September. In other words, the matchup is a bit of a step down for Nelson, who doesn’t have much to gain here other than the possibility of earning his fifth UFC Knockout of the Night bonus.

In addition, Miocic was already booked on the card against returning Australian banger Soa Palelei, who has knocked out his last eight opponents while competing in Australia. (See, now that matchup made sense.) But with UFC 161 in need of extra star power, Roy Nelson replaces Palelei, who will be sitting this event out unless he’s needed as an injury replacement. But don’t cry for Soa — he once stood up Danga for an interview, so he’s pretty much dead to us. What, you thought Dana White was only guy who could hold grudges?

In a related story, MMAJunkie reports that UFC officials are currently seeking a replacement opponent for Eddie Wineland, and if they can lock one down, UFC 161 will feature six fights on the pay-per-view card instead of the usual five. The current lineup is after the jump…

PPV MAIN CARD (10 p.m. ET)
Dan Henderson vs. Rashad Evans (LHW)
Mauricio Rua vs. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (LHW)
Roy Nelson vs. Stipe Miocic (HW)
Pat Barry vs. Shawn Jordan (HW)
Alexis Davis vs. Rosi Sexton (women’s BW)

FX PRELIMS (8 p.m. ET)
Jake Shields vs. Tyron Woodley (WW)
Sam Stout vs. Isaac Vallie-Flagg (LW)
Ryan Jimmo vs. Igor Pokrajac (LHW)

FACEBOOK PRELIMS (6 p.m. ET)
Yves Jabouin vs. Dustin Pague (BW)
Sean Pierson vs. Kenny Robertson (WW)
Mitch Clarke vs. John Maguire (LW)
Roland Delorme vs. Edwin Figueroa (BW)

“The Hulk” Returns: Soa Palelei Inks Four-Fight UFC Deal [UPDATED], Rumored to Face Stipe Miocic at UFC 161

(Palelei puts a twelve-second beating on Bob Sapp, then visibly regrets accepting the fight in the first place.) 

Way back in 2007, a towering Australian slugger by the name of Soa Palelei made his UFC debut at UFC 79: Nemesis. In what would turn out to be Palelei’s lone appearance in the organization, the Aussie engaged in a tepid, horrendously sloppy clinchfest with fellow future-castaway Eddie Sanchez. It was easily the worst fight of the night — marred by long stretches of inactivity, a pair of low blows, and an equally anticlimactic ending in which Soa basically called it quits due to some swelling around his eye — and ranked among the worst of the year.

Sanchez, having narrowly avoided being fired by virtue of winning the fight, would lose his next two fights before receiving a mercy execution from the promotion. Palelei, on the other hand, would not be given a second shot in the UFC (perhaps rightfully so) and would spend the next five years compiling a 10-1 record in the hopes that he could someday earn a chance at redemption and Zuffa glory.

Well, according to Palelei’s management team (Paradigm Sports Management), the heavyweight KO artist will finally be given that chance, as he has inked a four-fight deal with the UFC. Palelei stated the following in an official press release that was sent out yesterday:

I’m thankful to Dana White and Joe Silva for giving me this opportunity to come back to the UFC to showcase my skills. With determination, hard work and a great team, I’m happy to say that today I have signed with the UFC. I look forward to competing in the best organization in the world. 


(Palelei puts a twelve-second beating on Bob Sapp at CFC 21, then visibly regrets accepting the fight in the first place.) 

Way back in 2007, a towering Australian slugger by the name of Soa Palelei made his UFC debut at UFC 79: Nemesis. In what would turn out to be Palelei’s lone appearance in the organization, the Aussie engaged in a tepid, horrendously sloppy clinchfest with fellow future-castaway Eddie Sanchez. It was easily the worst fight of the night — marred by long stretches of inactivity, a pair of low blows, and an equally anticlimactic ending in which Soa basically called it quits due to some swelling around his eye — and ranked among the worst of the year.

Sanchez, having narrowly avoided being fired by virtue of winning the fight, would lose his next two fights before receiving a mercy execution from the promotion. Palelei, on the other hand, would not be given a second shot in the UFC (perhaps rightfully so) and would spend the next five years compiling a 10-1 record in the hopes that he could someday earn a chance at redemption and Zuffa glory.

Well, according to Palelei’s management team (Paradigm Sports Management), the heavyweight KO artist will finally be given that chance, as he has inked a four-fight deal with the UFC. Palelei stated the following in an official press release that was sent out yesterday:

I’m thankful to Dana White and Joe Silva for giving me this opportunity to come back to the UFC to showcase my skills. With determination, hard work and a great team, I’m happy to say that today I have signed with the UFC. I look forward to competing in the best organization in the world. 

Palelei’s lone loss since leaving the UFC came by way of first round submission via punches to future Strikeforce heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier in 2010. And while Soa hasn’t exactly been taking on world beaters as of late — his past two victories have come over the all-too-TKOable Bob Sapp and famed UG troll Sean McCorkle – it’s hard to claim that anyone riding an eight-fight win streak hasn’t earned another shot in the UFC. Unless that person is Jason Reinhardt, in which case you should probably just exit whatever room you are negotiating contracts in before you get crabs.

[UPDATE] 

According to Fight News Australia, Palelei has drawn Croatian Stipe Miocic for his first fight back with the promotion. The two are rumored to meet at UFC 161, which goes down on June 15th in Manitoba, Canada:

A source also revealed to Fightnewsaustralia.com that Palelei is touted to appear on the UFC 161 card in June with 30 year-old Stipe Miocic (9-1, UFC 3-1) slated as an potential opponent. UFC executives have yet to formally announce the event or the fight.

–J. Jones

“Fight” of the Day: Soa Palelei Decimates Sean McCorkle at AFC 4

(Palelei vs. McCorkle, as reenacted by The Incredible Hulk and the mythical God Loki, respectively. The actual video is after the jump, but this is basically what happened.) 

When we last checked in on Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle, he had just lost a cardio battle to an amorphous blob and vowed to retire from the sport if he ever gave such a pathetic showing again. Unfortunately for Sean, his next scheduled fight was against Soa “The Hulk” Palelei — a fellow UFC veteran who was far more dangerous than the tomato cans McCorkle has padded his record with over the years — at AFC 4 last weekend. Fortunately for Sean, his piss poor cardio had absolutely nothing to do with his downfall this time out, so at least he won’t have to go back on his word. It’s a small victory, sure, but one that most of us would probably cherish if we flew all the way to Australia to land roughly zero punches and get smashed through the canvas by Palelei’s megaton fists of fury like McCorkle did.

Video after the jump. 


(Palelei vs. McCorkle, as reenacted by The Incredible Hulk and the mythical God Loki, respectively. The actual video is after the jump, but this is basically what happened.) 

When we last checked in on Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle, he had just lost a cardio battle to an amorphous blob and vowed to retire from the sport if he ever gave such a pathetic showing again. Unfortunately for Sean, his next scheduled fight was against Soa “The Hulk” Palelei — a fellow UFC veteran who was far more dangerous than the tomato cans McCorkle has padded his record with over the years — at AFC 4 last weekend. Fortunately for Sean, his piss poor cardio had absolutely nothing to do with his downfall this time out, so at least he won’t have to go back on his word. It’s a small victory, sure, but one that most of us would probably cherish if we flew all the way to Australia to land roughly zero punches and get smashed through the canvas by Palelei’s megaton fists of fury like McCorkle did.

In the past two years, Palelei has scored eight straight victories via TKO, with only one of those victories making it out of the first two minutes. Granted, he hasn’t exactly been fighting any world-beaters, but still, his penchant for obliterating dudes in a hurry is pretty gosh darn impressive. Unfortunately, there are no heavyweights competing at next weekend’s UFC on FX: Sotiropolous vs. Pearson card in Queensland, Australia, so unless Palelei can get himself down to 205 in time to replace one of the LHW’s that will inevitably suffer some sort of last second, debilitating freak accident, it looks like it will still be awhile before we see Soa in the UFC. Personally, I’d say he’s earned another shot, so let’s hope it won’t be too long.

And in case you’re wondering, one of the announcers definitely said “It’s time to shut up and BRO down” at the 35 second mark. Say what you want about Mike Goldberg’s many, many shortcomings as a commentator, but I don’t think he’d ever purposely drop a line as garbage-ass as that one on us. Please don’t prove me wrong on this one, Mike.

–J. Jones