Tag: submission: guillotine choke

Power Play: Five MMA Techniques That Hockey Players Should Learn Before the 2013-14 Season

(Sunday’s brawl between the Toronto Maple Leafs and Buffalo Sabres. 8 out of 10 for effort, 2 out of 10 for technique.) 

By Jared Jones

While the NFL’s fascination with MMA-style body slams has only become apparent in recent years, the NHL’s obsession with violence dates back to the earliest days of the sport. Although the history of the Canadian military would suggest the contrary, the NHL is definitive proof that our neighbors to the north are just as bloodlust-driven as we are — they simply know how to channel their aggression a little better is all.

Case in point: The NHL preseason began all of 10 days ago and there have already been over 70 fights according to the NHL Fight Log. Also, the NHL has a Fight Log. With voted winners and a ratings system and everything. While most of these fights serve their purpose of firing up a crowd when the action is at a standstill, they also feature some absolutely dogshit techniques that have not evolved one iota since those aforementioned early days.

With all this in mind, we here at CagePotato have taken it upon ourselves to do the responsible thing and point out a few effective MMA moves that will not only elevate the level of hockey fights in general but help a handful of NHL players really drive home the notion that they are not to be tangled with on the ice. Enjoy.


(Sunday’s brawl between the Toronto Maple Leafs and Buffalo Sabres. 8 out of 10 for effort, 2 out of 10 for technique.) 

By Jared Jones

While the NFL’s fascination with MMA-style body slams has only become apparent in recent years, the NHL’s obsession with violence dates back to the earliest days of the sport. Although the history of the Canadian military would suggest the contrary, the NHL is definitive proof that our neighbors to the north are just as bloodlust-driven as we are — they simply know how to channel their aggression a little better is all.

Case in point: The NHL preseason began all of 10 days ago and there have already been over 70 fights according to the NHL Fight Log. Also, the NHL has a Fight Log. With voted winners and a ratings system and everything. While most of these fights serve their purpose of firing up a crowd when the action is at a standstill, they also feature some absolutely dogshit techniques that have not evolved one iota since those aforementioned early days.

With all this in mind, we here at CagePotato have taken it upon ourselves to do the responsible thing and point out a few effective MMA moves that will not only elevate the level of hockey fights in general but help a handful of NHL players really drive home the notion that they are not to be tangled with on the ice. Enjoy.

#5 – The Muay Thai Plum

Fight in Question: Alexander Urbom vs. Brandon Prust – Sep. 23, 2013
Voted Winner: Brandon Prust (97.4%)
Voted Rating: 5.6
Analysis: While most hockey players seem content with the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em, Frye vs. Takayama approach of grabbing ahold of one another and trading wild haymakers until someone falls down, a simple Muay Thai clinch could effectively put a decisive end to 90% of hockey fights. Take the above fight between New Jersey Devils defenseman Alexander Urbom and Montreal Canadiens forward Brandon Prust for example. While Prust was able to get a decent couple of shots in at the end there, both men looked like they were trying to punch their way out of a hurricane for the duration of the bout.

By closing the distance and utilizing a Thai plum, Urbom could have easily compensated for his reach disadvantage, as well as controlled Prust’s body weight and momentum. Although delivering knees to your opponent’s skull is next to impossible while on skates, Urbom could have used his superior position to rain down a hellstorm of elbows on Prust. Or he can continue being content with getting his ass kicked. What do I know? I’m not even here. (*backs slowly out of room with hands raised*)

For Examples, See: Nick Denis vs. Joseph Sandoval, Anderson Silva vs. Rich Franklin I and II

#4 – The Standing Guillotine Choke

Fight in Question: Ryan Carter vs. Travis Hamonic – Sep. 21
Voted Winner: Draw (68.8%)
Voted Rating: 2.9
Analysis: I’ve only been following professional hockey for a couple of years now, so I can’t claim to know what is considered a dirty, bitch move and what isn’t. But being that 8 out of 10 hockey fights end with both men tying up, collapsing and being pulled apart by the refs, it’s safe to say that a simple guillotine choke could end the “draw” issue that apparently permeates the NHL Fight Logs.

In the video above, the Devils Ryan Carter and the Islanders Travis Hamonic engage in a mostly substandard clinchfest along the fence barrier. At the 40 second mark, however, Carter presents Hamonic with a *golden* opportunity to snatch up a standing guillotine choke that is sadly ignored by the Croatian. As Nick Diaz expertly demonstrates in this video, the standing guillotine cannot only be used to finish a fight from a tied up position but can also be used as a setup for a takedown.

Again, I’m no expert on the politics of a hockey fight, but a standing guillotine could serve as an effective tool during a hockey fight for several reasons, the most obvious being the element of surprise it brings to the table. Simply put, not many hockey players are going to see any submission coming until it is too late. Simplier put: No can defense.

For Examples, See: Scott Jorgensen vs. Chad George, Dan Miller vs. Dave Phillips, Cody McKenzie vs. Marc Stevens

#3 – The Takedown/Slam

Fight in Question: Corey Tropp vs. Jamie Devane – Sep. 22
Voted Winner: Jamie Devane (94.1%) (?!)
Voted Rating: 6.4
Analysis: Unfortunately, the NHL has instituted a new rule (46.6) which states the following:

No player may remove his helmet prior to engaging in a fight. If he should do so, he shall be assessed a two minute minor penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct. Helmets that come off in the course of and resulting from the altercation will not result in a penalty to either player.

In order to get around this rule, helmet removal has quickly become either A) An issue that is simply left up to fate or B) A gentlemanly, agreed upon precursor to a fight (see Krys Barch vs. Brett Gallant). In either case, (*switches to movie trailer voice*) once the helmet is off, all bets are off.

Although us MMA fans are already aware of the devastating effect a takedown/slam can have when performed on canvas, that devastation increases exponentially when a player is slammed onto ice (this guy knows what I’m talking about). Are we saying that NHL players should start powerbombing each other through the ice to settle a minor grudge, possibly ending both their opponents and their own careers in the process? No, we’re just saying that the option is available. Maple Leafs left wing Jamie Devane clearly understood this, as he chose to utilize the takedown to KO Corey Tropp during yesterday’s Leafs/Sabres game, resulting in the massive brawl that was the inspiration for this list.

[VIDEO] Watch a Young Junior Dos Santos Score His Only Professional Submission Victory

Junior Dos Santos Shane Carwin
(Beats your face to a bloody pulp… personally stitches you up after.) 

Most of us tend to forget that UFC heavyweight champ Junior Dos Santos is a BJJ black belt under the Nogueira brothers, probably because we’d like to continue living in a world where we can convince ourselves that a 6’4″, 240 pound killing machine has some discernible weakness other than being a really nice guy when he’s not caving in your face like a Silver Shamrock Halloween mask. That’s right, I just referenced Halloween 3. I’m less a writer, more a prophet.

But unfortunately, the video that awaits you after the jump proves once and for all that JDS is, like me, an absolute master of his trade. In the video, we see a young Junior competing in his second professional MMA fight against Eduardo Maiorino, who sadly passed away from a heart attack just two days ago at the tender age of 33. After opening the fight with a signature flurry of punches, Dos Santos secures a takedown and is able to latch onto a guillotine choke from half guard that seems to be less technique and more Junior using his cyborg strength to vice grip his hapless opponent into submission.

Video below. 

Junior Dos Santos Shane Carwin
(Beats your face to a bloody pulp… personally stitches you up after.) 

Most of us tend to forget that UFC heavyweight champ Junior Dos Santos is a BJJ black belt under the Nogueira brothers, probably because we’d like to continue living in a world where we can convince ourselves that a 6’4″, 240 pound killing machine has some discernible weakness other than being a really nice guy when he’s not caving in your face like a Silver Shamrock Halloween mask. That’s right, I just referenced Halloween 3. I’m less a writer, more a prophet.

But unfortunately, the video that awaits you after the jump proves once and for all that JDS is, like me, an absolute master of his trade. In the video, we see a young Junior competing in his second professional MMA fight against Eduardo Maiorino, who sadly passed away from a heart attack just two days ago at the tender age of 33. After opening the fight with a signature flurry of punches, Dos Santos secures a takedown and is able to latch onto a guillotine choke from half guard that seems to be less technique and more Junior using his cyborg strength to vice grip his hapless opponent into submission.

Video below. 

Honestly, if I had the option of tapping to that choke or having my face turned into a Jackson Pollock painting like Shane Carwin did in the header photo…I’d probably take the latter, because then I might at least be able to parlay the beating into a midnight soiree with some big-butted Brazilian honey via some good old fashioned pity. No Brazilian women give it up for a guy with a shitty guard. We know this.

So Nation, are any of you ready to accept the fact that we could see a JDS fight end in something other than a blizzard of concussions? Junior has stated before that he plans on submitting Cain Velasquez if the fight hits the ground; the only question to ask yourself now is if you think he can pull off what fellow black belt Antonio Silva couldn’t even come close to doing.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] ArmFC Hosts Child MMA Fight, Puts the “Class” in “Class 2 Felony”


(Shit happens when Brett Rogers is your sponsor.) 

It seems that we’ve had to deal with the issue of child abuse more and more over the past few weeks here at CagePotato. You may recall the woman in St. Louis who videotaped her infant daughter’s decaweight debut and provided such insightful ringside commentary as “Ball up some fists!” as one instance of this. But today, Potato Nation, we’ve come across the classiest child abuse video of them all. We’re talking a top of the line, Armani-suited business moguls shrouded in darkness and purchasing sex slaves that were kidnapped at the airport level of class on display here. This is the Rolls-Royce of child abuse videos, if you will. In fact, the level of class in this child abuse video is so high, that it might not be considered child abuse at all.

It’s disorienting, we know, because typically, when treated to a video of a 6 year old and a 7 year old throwing down in a cage, your first reaction would probably be that of outrage. Toss in the fact that it took place in Armenia, at a bar surrounded by drunken patrons huffing cigars and cheering them on, your anger would likely jump up a few notches. But then you take a look at the awesome production value (yes, those are *actual* flames in the beginning), the adorable weigh-ins/staredown, and the scaled down ring, and you almost forget that you’re about to watch two kids beat the piss out of each other for entertainment. Or that a promotion exists out there that will allow this to happen.

So goes the story of ArmFC, an upstart and soon to be shut down promotion that recently forayed into the art of child fighting. And although the promotion insists that we are actually watching a “demonstration of the fight” on the Youtube page in which they posted this video, the fact that the first four words of the video’s description are “death 6 years fighter” leads us to believe that those running this promotion have a tenuous grasp on the English language in general. So by “demonstration”, they likely mean “we didn’t allow them to dip their gloves in candle wax and broken glass beforehand this time.”

Video after the jump. 


(Shit happens when Brett Rogers is your sponsor.) 

It seems that we’ve had to deal with the issue of child abuse more and more over the past few weeks here at CagePotato. You may recall the woman in St. Louis who videotaped her infant daughter’s decaweight debut and provided such insightful ringside commentary as “Ball up some fists!” as one instance of this. But today, Potato Nation, we’ve come across the classiest child abuse video of them all. We’re talking a top of the line, Armani-suited business moguls shrouded in darkness and purchasing sex slaves that were kidnapped at the airport level of class on display here. This is the Rolls-Royce of child abuse videos, if you will. In fact, the level of class in this child abuse video is so high, that it might not be considered child abuse at all.

It’s disorienting, we know, because typically, when treated to a video of a 6 year old and a 7 year old throwing down in a cage, your first reaction would probably be that of outrage. Toss in the fact that it took place in Armenia, at a bar surrounded by drunken patrons huffing cigars and cheering them on, your anger would likely jump up a few notches. But then you take a look at the awesome production value (yes, those are *actual* flames in the beginning), the adorable weigh-ins/staredown, and the scaled down ring, and you almost forget that you’re about to watch two kids beat the piss out of each other for entertainment. Or that a promotion exists out there that will allow this to happen.

So goes the story of ArmFC, an upstart and soon to be shut down promotion that recently forayed into the art of child fighting. And although the promotion insists that we are actually watching a “demonstration of the fight” on the Youtube page in which they posted this video, the fact that the first four words of the video’s description are “death 6 years fighter” leads us to believe that those running this promotion have a tenuous grasp on the English language in general. So by “demonstration”, they likely mean “we didn’t allow them to dip their gloves in candle wax and broken glass beforehand this time.”


(The fight doesn’t start until about halfway through the video, but you NEED to watch all of this.) 

Pairing Minas Avagyan against Hayk Tashchyan, the scrap is both a quick and technical affair. I hate to say it, but I was actually rather entertained by the fight itself, leading me to the moral conundrum I placed before you in this article’s second paragraph.

On one hand, this seems incredibly unsafe and abusive. I mean, the kids aren’t even wearing helmets for Christ’s sake. Hitting some pads in a Tapout commercial is one thing, but allowing two softheaded pre-adolescents to swing for the fences with reckless abandon seems a bit irresponsible to say the least. On the other hand, did you even see that guillotine? Effin’ A Cotton, was that sweet. And that Tito Ortiz gravedigger tribute/cage climb? Let’s just say that if I ever have kids, they will learn to do both of those things before they enter preschool, where intimidation and pizzazz is the name of the game.

What I’m saying is, I don’t know whether to be outraged or enthralled, so help me decide, Potato Nation. For once I might just listen to you.

–J. Jones

Technique(?) Video of the Day: The Standing Guillotine Suplex

(Props to our buddies over at IronForgesIron. Skip to 4:00 for the beginning of the fight.) 

If Scott Jorgensen hadn’t convinced you back at WEC 47 that the guillotine choke could get much, much worse, then Morgan Bracken sure will. The 4-3 lightweight fighter managed to pull off this beaut of a throw/submission last weekend at an unknown event in Topeka, Kansas. We literally know nothing else about the fight, and frankly we don’t care to find out. Because a move like this is kind of like trolls in Norway, legend has it that they exist but you until you actually see one, you never believe. In fact, one of the only other people to see both a guillotine suplex and a troll is Bas Rutten. Go figure.

Check out a few of our favorite attempts after the jump.


(Props to our buddies over at IronForgesIron. Skip to 4:00 for the beginning of the fight.) 

If Scott Jorgensen hadn’t convinced you back at WEC 47 that the guillotine choke could get much, much worse, then Morgan Bracken sure will. The 4-3 lightweight fighter managed to pull off this beaut of a throw/submission last weekend at an unknown event in Topeka, Kansas. We literally know nothing else about the fight, and frankly we don’t care to find out. Because a move like this is kind of like trolls in Norway, legend has it that they exist but you until you actually see one, you never believe. In fact, one of the only other people to see both a guillotine suplex and a troll is Bas Rutten. Go figure.

Let us not forget those who paved the way.

The “Spitting Sideways” 

The “Storm” 

The “Hemingway” 

-Danga