“If you’re gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job! Because there’s one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we’re the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue.”
That the legendary Four Horsemen never feuded with nobodies like Hardbody Harrison — and sure as hell never jobbed to sub-.500 fighters — is completely besides the point. “The Four Horsewomen” have become such a tired joke that even mocking people who criticize how loosely they resemble The Four Horsemen on your social media accounts is completely worn out. Since we’re all in agreement that they need a new name, let’s look to some professional wrestling stables who The Four Horsewomen have resembled far more closely. Here are six that fit the description…
A backwoods cult that’s gotten tremendously over with professional wrestling fans, despite accomplishing very little of note. Why it works: Both factions are led by a compelling, charismatic eccentric. Why it doesn’t: No offense to Bray Wyatt, but Ronda Rousey has accomplished far, far too much for this comparison to work.
“If you’re gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job! Because there’s one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we’re the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue.”
That the legendary Four Horsemen never feuded with nobodies like Hardbody Harrison — and sure as hell never jobbed to sub-.500 fighters — is completely besides the point. “The Four Horsewomen” have become such a tired joke that even mocking people who criticize how loosely they resemble The Four Horsemen on your social media accounts is completely worn out. Since we’re all in agreement that they need a new name, let’s look to some professional wrestling stables who The Four Horsewomen have resembled far more closely. Here are six that fit the description…
A backwoods cult that’s gotten tremendously over with professional wrestling fans, despite accomplishing very little of note. Why it works: Both factions are led by a compelling, charismatic eccentric. Why it doesn’t: No offense to Bray Wyatt, but Ronda Rousey has accomplished far, far too much for this comparison to work.
In ECW, Raven’s Nest were a crucial part of major storylines. In WCW, Raven’s Flock could not have possibly been used more differently.
Why it works: “I don’t think there’s ever been a more over group that lost every single outing,” Raven recently said of his WCW Flock. You can say the same thing about how over The Four Horsewomen are with MMA fans — even if they think the Horseman comparison is a total farce. Why it doesn’t: For the same reason it doesn’t work for The Wyatt Family. Ronda Rousey as Raven may sort-of work when comparing their personalities, but in terms of their accomplishments, it ain’t even close.
Much like MMA fans with “The Four Horsewomen,” professional wrestling fans are trying to pretend that one Warrior nation was never a thing that existed. Sorry for re-opening this wound, guys. Why it works: Imagine Raven’s Flock, if it were led by an accomplished, ultra-charismatic, clearly insane grappler that fans either loved or hated. Why it doesn’t: …except for the whole Halloween Havoc 1998 thing, when Hulk Hogan defeated The Warrior in one of the worst worked matches ever, but that’s another story for another day. As is that time Hulk Hogan saw The Warrior in his mirror…
A cheap, inferior knockoff of one of the greatest stables in professional wrestling history – why does that sound familiar? Why it works: The L.W.O. was Eddie Guerrero and not much else. Why it doesn’t:
See, because they were the entourage of a wrestler named “Awesome Kong.” I don’t care that you didn’t need the explanation. Why it works: A dominant female champion, plus three random ladies who hung out with her. Sounds about right. Why it doesn’t: Because what, are they supposed to call themselves the Rondarage? Egads, that’s unforgivable.
Consider this your daily reminder that The Attitude Era wasn’t nearly as awesome as you remember it being. Why it works: Pretty Mean Sisters is regarded as one of the dumbest, most unnecessary stables in the history of professional wrestling. Plus it has the whole “all members were women” thing going for it. Why it doesn’t: Because there really aren’t enough Al Bundy GIFs on the Internet to properly capture how ridiculous it would be for Ronda Rousey to describe her friends as “The Pretty Mean Sisters of MMA.”
So, what should it be? The Rousey World Order? Rousey’s Flock? Rousey and The J.O.B. Squad? Let us know in the comments section, or tweet your suggestions to @cagepotatomma.
The inevitable has finally occurred: TMZ is reporting that Spike TV has cancelled TNA Impact Wrestling after nine less than spectacular years. It is unclear when the final edition of Impact will air, but TMZ says that TNA’s deal with Spike runs through October. Neither Spike TV nor TNA have released official statements at this time.
So why are we covering the death of a minor-league professional wrestling outfit that did everything it possibly could to run itself out of business on CagePotato.com? Because this is the same promotion that partnered with Bellator to bring us King Mo’s (unintentionally hilarious) wrestling career and Tito Ortiz slugging Rampage Jackson with a hammer. It goes without saying that the Bellator/TNA partnership is about to dissolve, but what can we expect Spike TV to replace TNA Impact with? Will this bring more MMA to Spike TV, or will Spike just find another indie wrestling organization to fill in TNA’s shoes? Your guess is as good as anyone’s at this point, so let’s recklessly speculate for a while.
Isn’t it a little premature to write that TNA Impact Wrestling has been cancelled, considering that TNA could still renew with Spike TV/find a different network?
Sure, Spike TV could still renew TNA Impact, just like someone hypothetically could hold the UFC flyweight and heavyweight titles simultaneously. Not that it matters, but rumor has it that Spike TV executives cancelled Impact because they learned that TNA president Dixie Carter hired Vince Russo as a consultant, even though Spike specifically told her not to give him a job. If that’s true, that’s an oddly appropriate note for a company so hellbent on running itself into the ground to go out on.
As for another network picking up TNA Impact? Take it away, Razor…
The inevitable has finally occurred: TMZ is reporting that Spike TV has cancelled TNA Impact Wrestling after nine less than spectacular years. It is unclear when the final edition of Impact will air, but TMZ says that TNA’s deal with Spike runs through October. Neither Spike TV nor TNA have released official statements at this time.
So why are we covering the death of a minor-league professional wrestling outfit that did everything it possibly could to run itself out of business on CagePotato.com? Because this is the same promotion that partnered with Bellator to bring us King Mo’s (unintentionally hilarious) wrestling career and Tito Ortiz slugging Rampage Jackson with a hammer. It goes without saying that the Bellator/TNA partnership is about to dissolve, but what can we expect Spike TV to replace TNA Impact with? Will this bring more MMA to Spike TV, or will Spike just find another indie wrestling organization to fill in TNA’s shoes? Your guess is as good as anyone’s at this point, so let’s recklessly speculate for a while.
Isn’t it a little premature to write that TNA Impact Wrestling has been cancelled, considering that TNA could still renew with Spike TV/find a different network?
Sure, Spike TV could still renew TNA Impact, just like someone hypothetically could hold the UFC flyweight and heavyweight titles simultaneously. Not that it matters, but rumor has it that Spike TV executives cancelled Impact because they learned that TNA president Dixie Carter hired Vince Russo as a consultant, even though Spike specifically told her not to give him a job. If that’s true, that’s an oddly appropriate note for a company so hellbent on running itself into the ground to go out on.
As for another network picking up TNA Impact? Take it away, Razor…
What are the odds that Vince McMahon buys TNA Wrestling?
This may sound crazy, but I doubt Vince McMahon wants to acquire TNA; frankly, he’s far more interested in what the UFC is doing than anything TNA has ever done. TNA has never been any sort of legitimate threat to his business, and without a television contract, buying them out just means buying a few wrestler contracts and a video library filled mostly with guys he doesn’t want in the first place. As awesome as early AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Samoa Joe matches were, there’s no point in making them a part of the WWE video library when none of those guys are ever going to be relevant WWE wrestlers.
Enough wrasslin’ talk, what does this mean for Bellator?
At the very least, it means no more awkward plugs for TNA Impact during Bellator events, and no more Bellator fighters stumbling through cheesy professional wrestling storylines in crossover appearances. That alone is a gigantic plus in my book.
Unfortunately for Bellator, I’m tempted to say not much else. There’s no way that an MMA promotion could pump out enough events to fill in for a professional wrestling show, so let’s not even entertain the idea of Bellator getting a weekly segment on Spike. Even if they could, MMA simply wouldn’t bring in the ratings that professional wrestling brings in; despite being on its deathbed, TNA Impact is averaging more viewers than Bellator’s most-watched event brought in, period. Professional wrestling is cheap content that can bring in decent ratings, even when it’s complete garbage.
So Viacom is going to bring in Ring of Honor/Chikara/Some other indie wrestling promotion, then?
Not necessarily — I wouldn’t be surprised if Viacom was refusing to renew the television deal in order to outright purchase TNA Wrestling. Right now, the Spike TV deal is TNA’s primary source of income. Without that, they’re worth next to nothing (both ECW and WCW were bought out for peanuts when they lost their television deals). As for why Viacom would want to buy the promotion, it’s because the problem with TNA isn’t a lack of talent on the roster, it’s how completely clueless everyone running the company is. In other words, Viacom recognizes that a new, more competent regime would easily lead to better ratings.
By now, you’ve all heard the news: The main event of Bellator’s inaugural pay-per-view has been cancelled due to one of the headliners getting injured only one week out from the fight…again. Except this time around, Bellator isn’t simply moving the remaining card to Spike TV. Instead, Bellator is making Rampage vs. King Mo the new main event, having Michael Chandler fight Will Brooks for a completely meaningless interim lightweight title, moving Alexander Volkov vs. Blagoi Ivanov to the main card, and asking us to kindly fork over our money for this new line-up.
I hate to be pessimistic, but I really don’t think this strategy is going to end well for anyone involved.
The biggest problem with the “Alvarez vs. Chandler III-free” Bellator 120 is that there’s no hook. Every good pay-per-view has to be about something, and if “These two aging light-heavyweights used to really hate each other five years ago” is that something, it’s doubtful that too many fans are going to spend both their money and a Saturday night on it. The boom period for MMA on pay-per-view is long gone. If a new competitor is going to put on a successful pay-per-view event, it’s going to need a stronger product than UFC Lite — it’s going to need something to make it actually stand out.
So it’s in that spirit that I’ve decided to offer up a few last-minute suggestions to make Bellator 120 a more interesting card, to both the casual MMA fans and the grizzled diehards who Bellator is hoping to attract. All of these suggestions are at least a little crazy. Some are crazy enough to actually work. We’ll start off with what I feel is the most practical, then descend further into madness in no particular order…
By now, you’ve all heard the news: The main event of Bellator’s inaugural pay-per-view has been cancelled due to one of the headliners getting injured only one week out from the fight…again. Except this time around, Bellator isn’t simply moving the remaining card to Spike TV. Instead, Bellator is making Rampage vs. King Mo the new main event, having Michael Chandler fight Will Brooks for a completely meaningless interim lightweight title, moving Alexander Volkov vs. Blagoi Ivanov to the main card, and asking us to kindly fork over our money for this new line-up.
I hate to be pessimistic, but I really don’t think this strategy is going to end well for anyone involved.
The biggest problem with the “Alvarez vs. Chandler III-free” Bellator 120 is that there’s no hook. Every good pay-per-view has to be about something, and if “These two aging light-heavyweights used to really hate each other five years ago” is that something, it’s doubtful that too many fans are going to spend both their money and a Saturday night on it. The boom period for MMA on pay-per-view is long gone. If a new competitor is going to put on a successful pay-per-view event, it’s going to need a stronger product than UFC Lite — it’s going to need something to make it actually stand out.
So it’s in that spirit that I’ve decided to offer up a few last-minute suggestions to make Bellator 120 a more interesting card, to both the casual MMA fans and the grizzled diehards who Bellator is hoping to attract. All of these suggestions are at least a little crazy. Some are crazy enough to actually work. We’ll start off with what I feel is the most practical, then descend further into madness in no particular order.
Throw a One-Night Heavyweight Tournament
Tell Rampage, King Mo, Tito Ortiz and Alexander Shlemenko to forget about that pesky cut down to 205, and throw in Cheick Kongo, Eric Smith, Alexander Volkov and Blagoi Ivanov for good measure. Keep the original four fights as the opening round of the tournament, then air Michael Page vs. Rickey Rainey before the semi-finals and Michael Chandler vs. Will Brooks before the tournament championship bout.
Why It Would Work: The appeal of one-night tournaments has been obvious since the dawn of MMA (no matter what you consider that to be), and the tournament concept is consistent with everything Bellator already does. Why It Wouldn’t Work: Well, let’s ignore the fact that this season’s light-heavyweight tournament will be decided by a heavyweight bout in this scenario, and instead focus on how this tournament would guarantee that at least one division’s tournament winner will go on to earn a title shot despite coming off of a loss. Also, anyone who thinks a one-night heavyweight tournament is a fool-proof promotional strategy has clearly never heard of YAMMA Pit Fighting.
On that note…
A One Night Open-Weight Tournament
Embrace your inner-Super Hluk. You know you want to.
Why It Would Work: This is the type of spectacle that practically sells itself to the hardcore fans who remember when staying up until 7 AM to find out that Sakuraba mangled his arm seemed like something a normal human being would do. Why It Wouldn’t Work: This is also the type of spectacle that the Mississippi Athletic Commission would (presumably) frown upon.
BellaTNA: The Hybrid MMA/Professional Wrestling Card
Why It Would Work: At least TNA Impact has a built-in fan base that has demonstrated they’re willing to spend money on the company’s pay-per-view events. And besides, Bobby Lashley is currently on the TNA Roster, so there’s that, I guess. Why It Wouldn’t Work: So, you expect TNA to announce its involvement in the pay-per-view on Thursday’s edition of Impact, hope that fans actually buy it in time for Saturday, and present it to an audience that paid for a show they assumed would only feature MMA bouts? TNA has made some boneheaded business decisions, but this would be a low point even for them.
On the next page: PRIDE, boxing, and the most obvious solution of all…
(2014: The year that Dana White buys this dog. For Bjorn Rebney. Too soon?)
When former CagePotato.com contributor Jason Moles announced his retirement in 2013, it appeared that there wouldn’t be a “Crazy Enough to be True” predictions column for 2014. Rather than let the opportunity to make outlandish assumptions about the state of our favorite sport pass us up, we’ve decided to offer our wildest ideas in the form of a CagePotato Roundtable. Read on for our picks, share yours in the comments section, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to[email protected].
The problem is, none of these upcoming markets have the talent pool available to produce a world champion in the foreseeable future. Or a top contender. Or a fighter who could credibly compete anywhere on a pay-per-view main card. That’s why I’m predicting that 2014 will see the unveiling of individual UFC titles for countries/continents. I mean, Vitor Belfort is already the middleweight champion of Brazil, right? They might as well give him a belt and make it official.
(2014: The year that Dana White buys this dog. For Bjorn Rebney. Too soon?)
When former CagePotato.com contributor Jason Moles announced his retirement in 2013, it appeared that there wouldn’t be a “Crazy Enough to be True” predictions column for 2014. Rather than let the opportunity to make outlandish assumptions about the state of our favorite sport pass us up, we’ve decided to offer our wildest ideas in the form of a CagePotato Roundtable. Read on for our picks, share yours in the comments section, and please continue to send your ideas for future CagePotato Roundtable topics to[email protected].
The problem is, none of these upcoming markets have the talent pool available to produce a world champion in the foreseeable future. Or a top contender. Or a fighter who could credibly compete anywhere on a pay-per-view main card. That’s why I’m predicting that 2014 will see the unveiling of individual UFC titles for countries/continents. I mean, Vitor Belfort is already the middleweight champion of Brazil, right? They might as well give him a belt and make it official.
Case in point: TUF Chinadebuted last month. Coached by a UFC near-washout and a guy you’ve never heard of, the season will produce a completely irrelevant winner, who’s only fit to beat up other irrelevant curtain-jerkers from countries that aren’t the U.S., Brazil, Canada, or England. While the novelty of seeing native Chinese fighters (or Turkish fighters, or Polish fighters, etc.) will get local fans tuning in, eventually the UFC will have to throw these people a bone to keep them happy, because watching your home country’s fighters get smashed as soon as they face legitimate competition isn’t fun.
And so, the UFC will do the smart thing and have these guys/gals fight exclusively within their own borders for secondary titles. And maybe, if one of these regional champs goes on a long win streak, he/she will be called up to the prelims of a UFC on FOX Sports 1 card, where you might actually get to see them compete. Until then, us North Americans will only be able to watch the UFC’s new regional superstars on that digital subscription service thingy they’re selling, and if you think we’re coughing up any more money to the UFC for that bullshit, you are out of your got-damn mind.
It is well known that UFC President Dana White is a loose cannon when he is in front of a camera or a microphone. The “Baldfather” has no filter and basically shoots from the hip no matter the topic, the fighter, or the reporter in his crosshairs. He has taken some heat for profanity-laced rants in the past, but there has never been any real punishment from the Fertitta brothers (at least not publicly).
After Georges St. Pierre’s somewhat cryptic and confusing comments with Joe Rogan following his UFC 167 victory, Dana White launched into a diatribe at the post-fight press conference saying that GSP owed the UFC something more. Fast forward a day or two and Lorenzo Fertitta backtracked on White’s words by basically apologizing (even though he never actually said “Sorry”). In the past, Fertitta has never come to cover White but after the amount of flack being thrown because of White’s comments, it was evident that some things needed to be clarified.
Though White’s obscenity-filled tirades have been far and few between as of late, it is only a matter of time before Mount Dana erupts. When he does — because of falling ratings, a network deal that has not produced as expected or a slew of other factors — I believe that the Fertittas will in fact publicly chastise White. Whether it is a fine or a suspension or just a good old fashioned public tongue lashing, White will finally be the one on the other end of a heated lecture (and he will have earned it after the years of insensitive comments he has made).
Between 2010 and 2011, Matt Brown went 1-4 in the octagon, with all of those losses coming via second round submission. Although not one member of the MMA media dared say it to his face, they had all but written him off as just another slightly above-average TUF alum who couldn’t hack it in the big leagues. “Get out of here!”they’d shout once he had turned his back, “Why can’t you just go back to where you came from?
I don’t know if Brown wished upon a shooting star or sold his soul to the SKOAL Gods in return for Jax fists, but something amazing happened when he reemerged in 2012. Something…supernatural. Come to think of it, it was probably voodoo.
In the past two years, Matt Brown has gone 6-0 in the octagon with 5 TKOs. Five. Brown has fought like a man possessed (by voodoo), scoring wins over young guns (Jordan Mein), crafty veterans (Mike Swick), and previously undefeated hype machines (Stephen Thompson) alike. His last performance against Mike Pyle was, by definition, a flawless victory. Of all the career comebacks we witnessed in 2013, Brown’s was far-and-away the most impressive, if only because of the utter mediocrity that preceded it. In fact, of the nominees we listed in our “Most Unexpected Career Comebacks” roundtable last March, only Brown and Cub Swanson have managed to remain undefeated to this day. No, GSP *doesn’t* count, because he was defeated by both Johny Hendricks and old age.
What is the point of all this hyperbolic, redundant, and mostly fabricated backstory? Only that Brown has entered the prime of his career and is destroying whoever is placed before him with a combination of Zen-like tranquility and Pedro Lopez-like brutality. The dude is untouchable, “Immortal” you might even say (*crickets*). Like Bernie in Weekend at Bernie’s 2 when conga music is playing (which again, voodoo). And now that GSP has decided to step away from the sport, the UFC’s welterweight division has transformed from a grappler’s purgatory into a brawler’s paradise. Lawler vs. Hendricks will most likely be a slugfest for the ages, and when title fights are suddenly being decided by who can stand and trade leather the longest, Brown is as good a candidate as any to get that gold.
Believe it or not, things are actually much worse for TNA Impact! Wrestling than they were merely two months ago when I first wrote about their sad state of affairs. As in, “holding shows in high school gymnasiums” worse. I firmly believe that 2014 will be the year that this company finally kicks the bucket, to the apathy of nearly every wrestling fan on the planet. And the wrestlers proudly featured in the company’s final pay-per-view main event when this happens? Don’t hold your breath waiting for one of them to be AJ Styles. Same goes with Jeff Jarrett. Ditto Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Abyss, and anyone else whose name was once synonymous with the company.
No, Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz will be the ones headlining TNA Impact! Wrestling’s final pay-per-view.
Yeah, I know how everyone this side of Parts Unknown rolled their eyes at Rampage and Tito’s appearances in TNA last year, but the company is losing so much money and has so few wrestlers left that I think Viacom sends these two once-strong pay-per-view draws back to TNA Impact! Wrestling as a last-ditch effort to find people willing to buy a TNA pay-per-view. Sure, even the most brain-dead among us *looks directly at Jared…who is holding up a mirror. Well played.* can see the holes in this logic, but desperate times call for desperate measures; this is especially true when you consider that Viacom brought in Rampage and Tito to headline a pay-per-view in the first place. This will obviously end badly — even for a company that considers 50,000 buys a smashing success — leading TNA Impact! to close its doors shortly afterwards.
Sure, the idea of Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz headlining the final TNA Impact! Wrestling pay-per-view is completely ludicrous, but if you expect anything different from Dixie Carter, you’ve clearly never actually watched one of her company’s shows. Oh how I envy your ignorance.
Frustrated by dwindling PPV buys, Dana White starts hinting at “big fucking changes, like, huge” coming to Fox. Speculation abounds.
Zuffa announces that it is resurrecting Strikeforce for a new weekly primetime show on FS1. In a stunning move, Scott Coker returns to captain the ship, and “Wednesday Night Strikeforce” is born. His decision to include occasional kickboxing bouts in the broadcasts is hailed as visionary, as “WNS” quickly outstrips viewership numbers from the TUF lead-in. Meanwhile, UFC PPV cards are cut back to eight per year, and buy rates promptly skyrocket.
Coker leads the fight for better pay of fighters, proposing a tiered salary system that guarantees a minimum $48K to fighters under the Strikeforce banner. He suggests a format change to the now-ubiquitous Ultimate Fighter program, which now sports no less than eight spinoffs across the world. His idea, a weekly interview and highlight show recounting the various incarnations of TUF worldwide, is embraced by the blogosphere, but roundly rejected by White, as is the salary gambit.
Tensions between Coker and White continue to mount for the remainder of 2014. In December, Dana White and Scott Coker both start hinting at “big fucking changes, like, huge” coming to Zuffa. Speculation abounds.
Have your own “crazy enough to be true” predictions for 2014? You know what to do.
So then why am I writing yet another article about what a company that sells choreographed “fights” experiencing some of its lowest viewership numbers can teach the UFC? Because the WWE’s idea of “terrible numbers” involves only averaging 3.53 million viewers. To put that into perspective, the TUF 18 Finale main card drew 1.129 million viewers. That’s right, the WWE is in panic mode because their weekly Monday night show only attracted three times as many viewers as a UFC event.
Don’t worry, I’m not about to suggest that the UFC resort to ridiculous storylines, assigning character gimmicks to fighters, forcing celebrity guests into shows, forming an ill-advised partnership with a dying pro-wrestling promotion, or any of the other things that would make most MMA fans roll their eyes. Nor am I going to ignorantly blame the UFC for less than spectacular fights, controversial finishes, and other things that a legitimate sports league cannot possibly be expected to control. On the contrary, my first suggestion is something that the UFC actually used to do better than the WWE…
(On second thought, make that seven things. Photo via With Leather.)
So then why am I writing yet another article about what a company that sells choreographed “fights” experiencing some of its lowest viewership numbers can teach the UFC? Because the WWE’s idea of “terrible numbers” involves only averaging 3.53 million viewers. To put that into perspective, the TUF 18 Finale main card drew 1.129 million viewers. That’s right, the WWE is in panic mode because their weekly Monday night show only attracted three times as many viewers as a UFC event.
Don’t worry, I’m not about to suggest that the UFC resort to ridiculous storylines, assigning character gimmicks to fighters, forcing celebrity guests into shows, forming an ill-advised partnership with a dying pro-wrestling promotion, or any of the other things that would make most MMA fans roll their eyes. Nor am I going to ignorantly blame the UFC for less than spectacular fights, controversial finishes, and other things that a legitimate sports league cannot possibly be expected to control. On the contrary, my first suggestion is something that the UFC actually used to do better than the WWE…
Put Over Your Talent Instead of Expecting it to Just Happen
There was a time not too long ago when I would have told you with a straight face that the UFC was better at creating stars out of its roster than the WWE could ever dream of being, simply because they could turn even the most boring personalities like Georges St. Pierre and Matt Hughes into intriguing fighters. Yet these days, I honestly wouldn’t be able to pick Hyun Gyu Lim out of a line-up, despite the facts that he holds two brutal knockout victories in the organization and is about to headline an upcoming card. The UFC’s new formula for getting fans to invest themselves into a fighter is basically “let’s hope everyone magically decides to follow a winning fighter’s career,” despite how poorly that strategy has been working.
No matter how hard we try to pretend we’re above valuing emotional investment in a fighter’s personality over said fighter’s actual accomplishments, the numbers that Jon Jones, Renan Barao, Benson Henderson and Demetrious Johnson bring in don’t lie; you can’t just say “these guys are good fighters” and expect most fans to care. I’m in no way suggesting that the gimmicks that Vince McMahon uses to promote his wrestlers should be used by an MMA organization, but is it too much to ask for a little more than “these two are about to fight, try to remember who wins three months from now”? Get back to demonstrating why fans should be so excited about a debuting fighter, and give them a few details about his/her life outside of the cage that they might find interesting. If the UFC gets back to treating the new athletes like people the fans should care about, then who knows, maybe the fans will react accordingly.
Establish An Official Minor League
The UFC faces an interesting dilemma: On one hand, they’re supposed to be the premier MMA organization, reserved for only the absolute best fighters. On the other hand, they’re also expanding internationally, and need warm bodies to fill all of the upcoming fight cards, regardless of whether or not these fighters even have Wikipedia pages. So far, the solution to this problem has been to make Fight Night cards the proverbial “one-fight cards” that Dana White said he’d never promote, and viewership has tanked to the point where a strong-ish World Series of Fighting show can outdraw a UFC Fight Night.
So if UFC Fight Night cards are already essentially minor league cards, then why not give the program the full WWE NXT treatment and designate Fight Night as the promotion’s official minor league? It can be the UFC’s way to continue its international expansion while also giving the locals being signed to fill the cards some extra time to develop their skills, the same way that the WWE makes even respected indie veterans like El Generico andSamuray del Sol prove themselves in NXT before getting a shot on the WWE’s main programs.
Sure, Fight Night will continue to draw relatively weak ratings – the same way that TNA Impact! Wrestling can actually compete against NXT – but is it really worth weakening the drawing power of the UFC brand just to continue to pretend these Fight Night cards feature UFC caliber fighters? It wasn’t too long ago when all I needed to do to convince my friends that a fight card was worth caring about was tell them that it was a UFC event. Those days are long gone, and that’s largely due to how weak these Fight Night events have become.
Pull the Plug on The Ultimate Fighter
When Tough Enough both lost the fans’ interest and failed to keep finding wrestlers the WWE could actually use, Vince McMahon pulled the plug. So, um, what exactly are you waiting for, guys?
Give PPVs a Proper Build-Up
The biggest gripe that my professional wrestling friends have against watching the UFC is that there is never any logical correlation between events. One day, they’ll catch a commercial for a heavyweight fight, then the next day it’s flyweights, and then the next day they’re being asked to pay for a rematch between Anderson Silva and Chris Weidman, with no explanation for how these fights are related except for the fact that they’re all UFC fights. Tempting as it may be to dismiss this as professional wrestling fanboy talk, all of them are NFL fans, because the season logically progresses to them: Sixteen games to determine which teams make the tournament for the championship, followed by said tournament and championship game.
What if the UFC instead booked shows so that the main events would have a clear featured weight class each month, with the monthly PPV featuring the title fight? Instead of booking Machida, Kennedy, and Belfort as the build-up for a fight between Georges St. Pierre and Johny Hendricks, why not book them as the build-up for Weidman vs. Silva II? Even the dimmest fans can then see how the free cards built up to the PPV: You’d have two free cards where Kennedy and Machida establish themselves in the middleweight division currently controlled by Chris Weidman – who will be defending his title on PPV against Anderson Silva, and it will be awesome – a free card featuring top middleweight Vitor Belfort keeping active while waiting for the Chris Weidman to defend his title on PPV against Anderson Silva, which will be awesome, and then the actual fight that pretty much everything that happened this month built up to.
Granted, injuries make this all but impossible to stick with, but when all goes according to plan, it’ll be easier to get the casual fans excited about dropping sixty bucks on a pay-per-view card. Of course…
One-Fight Cards – No Matter How Strong the Build-Up – Are Not Worth Paying For
I probably just launched one thousand “BUT THE FIGHTS ARE STILL GOOD JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THE FIGHTERS ARE SO WHY DOES IT MATTER?!” rants in the comments section – as well as another “Don’t say it sucks until after the event” rant from Dana White – but there is no way I’m wasting both my money and my Saturday on a card featuring one fight that I care about.
As with anything else, if all I want is “good,” then I’ll gladly accept the cheaper alternative. If I only want to watch a “good” football game, I’ll buy tickets to The New Orleans Bowl instead of The New Orleans Saints. If all I want is “good” food, I’ll buy fast food instead of fine dining. And if all I want to watch are “good” fights, I’ll spend twenty bucks on tickets to a local amateur MMA event, where I’ll get plenty of “good” fights between guys I vaguely recognize from local gyms. Vince McMahon understands that he can’t charge money for Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena if his supporting cast is Zach Ryder, Tensai, The Brooklyn Brawler, andDyn-O-mite, because there are enough “good” matches coming from indie wrestling organizations to give his viewers worthy alternatives. It’s time for the UFC to acknowledge that my second-best option no longer involves driving thirty miles to rent a bootlegged King of the Cage DVD that I’ve already seen four times.
Make Your Subscription Based Digital Networks Actually Worth Owning
So, can we talk about that hilarious “UFC Digital Network” for a minute? Because I’d like to formally ask if anyone on the planet is dumb enough to buy that thing. I’m not sure how much the UFC thinks I’m willing to pay for “Not even basic cable worthy” UFC cards, but anything over $0.00 is pushing the limits of reality for me.
– Every single episode of Raw, Smackdown, and every pay-per-view the company ever recorded.
– Every future pay-per-view except for future Wrestlemania events.
– However, as a reward for purchasing a six month subscription, Wrestlemania 30 will be included as well.
There aren’t enough TUF outtakes, NSFW-ish ring girl videos, and Mean Gene Helwani interviews in existence to make the UFC network comparable to the WWE network, and the WWE network isn’t making you flip between two separate apps in order to access it.
Al Bundy, your reaction please:
If you’re going to charge money for a service, make sure you’re providing more than what I can already legally get for free from your rivals. Asking me to pay for the caliber of fighters I can easily find in Bellator and World Series of Fighting for free? Don’t care, not happening.
Coincidentally, it was at this point in the history of professional wrestling – once the novelty started wearing off and the casual fans lost interest – that promoters decided to drift away from legitimate competition. The UFC doesn’t have to follow directly in professional wrestling’s footsteps in order to learn from its history. Vince McMahon may promote an entirely different product, but that doesn’t mean he has nothing to offer our sport.
(See, Viacom? There ARE some things that are too stupid for pro-wrestling fans to watch.)
Remember when we told you guys on Sunday that Bellator is going through some hard times before its (extremely misguided) inaugural PPV? Well, with a brand new episode of TNA Impact scheduled to air tonight, we decided to look into how Viacom’s other promotion is doing. Try not to act too surprised, but here’s the short version of the story:
Believe it or not, the professional wrestling outfit that’s been repackaged as an infomercial for an MMA PPV that no one cares about is in some pretty dire straights. Over the course of the past year, TNA Impact has been making some drastic budget cuts, which have included firing numerous young prospects and veteran wrestlers alike (leading to somehilarioussatiricalstories from Kayfabe News). Okay, no problem with trimming the fat, right? Well, once main players in the company start getting cut, it’s not exactly a good sign. Follow us after the jump, and we’ll explain…
(See, Viacom? There ARE some things that are too stupid for pro-wrestling fans to watch.)
Remember when we told you guys on Sunday that Bellator is going through some hard times before its (extremely misguided) inaugural PPV? Well, with a brand new episode of TNA Impact scheduled to air tonight, we decided to look into how Viacom’s other promotion is doing. Try not to act too surprised, but here’s the short version of the story:
Believe it or not, the professional wrestling outfit that’s been repackaged as an infomercial for an MMA PPV that no one cares about is in some pretty dire straights. Over the course of the past year, TNA Impact has been making some drastic budget cuts, which have included firing numerous young prospects and veteran wrestlers alike (leading to somehilarioussatiricalstories from Kayfabe News). Okay, no problem with trimming the fat, right? Well, once main players in the company start getting cut, it’s not exactly a good sign.
Two weeks ago, TNA Impact actually had to fire Hulk Hogan as a cost cutting measure. On the surface, Hogan’s dismissal from the company has been long overdue — he’s an overpaid sixty year old being used as an on-air authority figure because he physically can’t wrestle anymore. But for TNA Impact to finally part ways with the guy? Brother, that’d be like Dana White firing Chuck Liddell from his vaguely-defined job; even though it would make sense financially, it would never happen unless the company was circling the drain.
To make matters worse, the promotion’s first show without Hulk Hogan since 2009 only managed to bring in only 1.08 million viewers last Thursday, which is nearly an all-time low for the promotion. To put that into perspective, more people watched a midnight rerun of Pawn Stars than TNA Impact. But they did manage to pull in a few more viewers than an American Dad rerun that aired at 1:30 in the morning, so that’s a plus, I guess.
I’m not writing that the situation is hopeless, but I am writing that it may very well be hopeless if Bellator’s pay-per-view flops. Viacom has invested the futures of both promotions into this card. If it doesn’t end well, it’ll take more than Tim Sylvia to fix the ensuing fiasco.
