When he’s not busy chasing Bigfoot, obliterating pads in the gym, or supportively talking Fear Factor contestants through the subtle intricacies of chugging donkey semen, chances are that Joe Rogan is either jet setting around the world to maintain his gig as the UFC’s color commentator or destroying hecklers at one of his standup gigs. Rogan is truly the closest thing to a renaissance man that the UFC has to offer, which is probably why UFC Tonight grants him the exclusive privilege of compiling more “Best of” lists than a Buzzfeed writer born in the early 90’s.
Rogan’s first countdown focuses on the heavyweight division’s greatest knockouts of “all time.” I say “all time” with sarcastiquotes because according to Rogan, the heavyweight division contained zero knockouts of note before UFC 70 in 2007. In fact, 7 out of Joe’s 8 picks have all come within the past three years. WHY YOU GOTTA DISRESPECT BRAD KOHLER LIKE THAT, BRO(gan)?
Check out Rogan’s full list above, then join us after the jump to hear him riff on all things head kick-related.
When he’s not busy chasing Bigfoot, obliterating pads in the gym, or supportively talking Fear Factor contestants through the subtle intricacies of chugging donkey semen, chances are that Joe Rogan is either jet setting around the world to maintain his gig as the UFC’s color commentator or destroying hecklers at one of his standup gigs. Rogan is truly the closest thing to a renaissance man that the UFC has to offer, which is probably why UFC Tonight grants him the exclusive privilege of compiling more “Best of” lists than a Buzzfeed writer born in the early 90′s.
Rogan’s first countdown focuses on the heavyweight division’s greatest knockouts of “all time.” I say “all time” with sarcastiquotes because according to Rogan, the heavyweight division contained zero knockouts of note before UFC 70 in 2007. In fact, 7 out of Joe’s 8 picks have all come within the past three years. WHY YOU GOTTA DISRESPECT BRAD KOHLER LIKE THAT, BRO(gan)?
Check out Rogan’s full list above, then join us after the jump to hear him riff on all things head kick-related.
That’s right, Gabriel Gonzaga‘s ironic decapitation of Mirko Cro Cop at UFC 70: Nations Collide is both the greatest heavyweight KO and the greatest head kick KO of all time, according to Rogan. Personally, I’d have to disagree and give the #1 spot to our pick for the greatest knockout of 2012, Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim. I’m also quite surprised that Vitor Belfort vs. Luke Rockhold didn’t make the list, but then again, I have never hunted nor found evidence of Bigfoot’s existence, so I’m not exactly qualified to speak on the subject. Well, I have, but by the time the shrooms wore off, Bigfoot had morphed back into my neighbor’s dog Sparky, who I was later told had been stolen right out of their home earlier that day.
Heading into their “Fight Night” headlining scrap at the TD Garden this weekend, it’s become apparent that both Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and Chael “P.” Sonnen have made some significant changes to their training routines. The former one-time light heavyweight champion has brought in Freddie Roach to tighten up his boxing, and has improved from “punching like a girl” to “punching like a boy” according to the world-renowned trainer. Great, Freddie, now you’ve gone and sent Forrest Griffin into another Xanax-laced shame spiral. You can check a video of Shogun hitting the mitts with Freddie above.
On the contrary, it appears that former/future middleweight Chael Sonnen has stopped training altogether in order to brush up on his Longfellow and hone his already brilliant poetry skills. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, and we’ll have to see if it pays off for him.
Last night, Sonnen appeared on UFC Tonight to arrogantly cut off hosts Kenny Florian and Daniel Cormier and perform “A Poem to Shogun.” It wasn’t his best work (I like my poetry to contain far more profanity) but I’d say it went over better than his recent failed stand up bit on Def Comedy Jam. Check it out after the jump, because there’s seriously nothing better going on out there and you know it.
Heading into their “Fight Night” headlining scrap at the TD Garden this weekend, it’s become apparent that both Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and Chael “P.” Sonnen have made some significant changes to their training routines. The former one-time light heavyweight champion has brought in Freddie Roach to tighten up his boxing, and has improved from “punching like a girl” to “punching like a boy” according to the world-renowned trainer. Great, Freddie, now you’ve gone and sent Forrest Griffin into another Xanax-laced shame spiral. You can check a video of Shogun hitting the mitts with Freddie above.
On the contrary, it appears that former/future middleweight Chael Sonnen has stopped training altogether in order to brush up on his Longfellow and hone his already brilliant poetry skills. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, and we’ll have to see if it pays off for him.
Last night, Sonnen appeared on UFC Tonight to arrogantly cut off hosts Kenny Florian and Daniel Cormier and perform “A Poem to Shogun.” It wasn’t his best work (I like my poetry to contain far more profanity) but I’d say it went over better than his recent failed stand up bit on Def Comedy Jam. Check it out after the jump, because there’s seriously nothing better going on out there and you know it.
To sum it up, Sonnen is banking on a knockout victory that ends Rua’s career and sends him on the quickest boat back to Brazil. In light of the new evidence, I see him defeating Shogun via Rua-Rua-bo-bua banana-fana-fo-fua Irish Fling, but if there is a boat that travels from Boston directly to Brazil then I AM MICKEY MOUSE!
Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ’em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…
Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”
If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.
Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #UFC159 #4/27/13″
(Despite what your grandmother thinks, Twitter is not a euphemism and does not warrant a squirt of Dawn in your mouth.)
Back in 2010, the brain trust at CagePotato HQ compiled a list of the 25 most essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Boy, do we sure know how to pick ‘em. Miguel Torres, Kimbo Slice, Mayhem Miller, Reed Harris, Shane Carwin, and Strikeforce have all since faded out of relevance or gone off the deep end. Wait, Reed does what now? Are you sure? Nevermind — we’re back with an updated list of who you should really be following on Twitter, and this time we’ve actually put some thought into it instead of blindly tossing darts at our screen while simultaneously using a Shakeweight. Please note, this is 2013 and if you don’t already know you should be following Dana White, Arianny Celeste, or Ariel Helwani, you’re probably the reason Jon Jones is defending his title against Chael Sonnen this Saturday at UFC 159. Speaking of the gangster from West Linn…
Bio: “Godfather of integrity; dual masters in dominance and modesty; once outboxed Hemingway; & author of this year’s bestseller, available NOW on Amazon”
If you thought Sonnen refused to break kayfabe only when the cameras were rolling, you must not have been paying attention because his gimmick is boundless. The People’s Champion maximizes his 140-character limit with every emasculating jab at his opponents, peers, and detractors in the MMA media. The American Gangster is the only man on Twitter to follow absolutely no one, not even his own mother.
Sample Tweet: “15 – the number of letters in the word hydropneumatics as well as Chael beats Jones. #UFC159 #4/27/13″
Bio: “Born and raised in Los Angeles. Don’t Tread On Me.”
One of the sport’s most seasoned journalists has articulated what many people couldn’t (and frankly still don’t) understand about what they witnessed in the cage since 2000. His name is Josh Gross and he will not play nice if it compromises the integrity of his craft or the oath he took upon entering the profession — even if it means getting blackballed by the Dr. Evil UFC President himself. Gross always offers interesting insight with a wealth of knowledge to back it up.
Sample Tweet: “Least surprising headline in a while: NY won’t regulate MMA in 2013. So bye-bye UFC 20th anniversary in Madison Square Garden. #pipedream”
Bio: “Actress/Bellator/FHM/Maxim/Playboy/Pacsun For pretty eyes see best in others.For pretty lips spk kindly.For poise walk knowing not alone.Live a beautiful story”
After interviewing Ms. Bryce at the end of last year, I realized that she is one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met. She’s one of the Bellator MMA ring card girls and she’s trying to feed the starving kids in Africa. No, seriously, she is. Twitter is Jade’s way of giving back to her fans and it shows. Male and female followers alike love her photo shoot pics and inspirational quotations. We’re sure you will too.
Sample Tweet: “Sharing a hotel room with a drunk psycho model. ???? Seriously think she might hit me. I’m trying to just play dead.”
Bio: “The MMA Curmudgeon loves the sport of mixed martial arts. The MMA Curmudgeon hates dirtbag reporters and reprehensible fighters. Beware”
We have our suspicions about who is at the helm of this brutal Twitter troll, but at the end of the day, it just doesn’t matter. As the name suggests, following this guy is like listening to a crotchety old man talk about this generation’s lack of aptitude. MMA Curmudgeon says what most are thinking but too afraid to tweet for fear of the Baldfather wrath. Retweet at your own risk.
Sample Tweet: “Only MMA media would make @danawhite the secret hero of the Ronda Rousey story. If White has a dry spell, he can count on Yahoo for a BJ.”
Bio: “Dropping science in the cage with #UFC statistics & analytics. Quantifying underlying drivers of the fight game, and ending barroom disputes everywhere. #MMA”
Over the last several months, Reed “The Fight Scientist” Kuhn of Fightnomics has been dropping databombs on cage potatoes like you on this site — breaking down everything from submission success rates to striking performance by division. But over on his social media home-base he takes it a step further and laces you with timely truths about the guys you’re watching on the big screen at Hooters. Bonus: Fightnomics’ pithy tweets enable you to sound like you actually know what you’re talking about.
Sample Tweet: “In over 61 total minutes in the Octagon and 859 total strikes attempted, Darren Elkins has yet to throw a single leg kick #commitment”
This is the guy who was behind Teh Gifs, amazing little video snippets of the most gnarly action in the cage, so we won’t hold it against him for collecting a paycheck from one of our competitors. If you like watching incessant KO kicks and flying submissions, this guy has you covered.
Sample Tweet: “GIF – We end todays trip down memory lane with Edson Barboza vs. Terry Etim http://twitpic.com/87gd7e”
Bio: “World / Olympic medalist in judo, Strikeforce / UFC Champ in MMA”
“Rowdy” Ronda Rousey is many things, as you can glean from her bio, but she’s more than that. She’s the first female fighter to ink a deal with UFC, she took the cover spot on ESPN the Magazine‘s Body Issue, and she’s undefeated! When she’s not trash-talking her opponents or putting the Kardashians on blast, Rousey is sharing her journey to superstardom with all of her 278K+ followers through instagram. It’s there you’ll get the access not even puppets are privileged to. Expect the arm snatcher to amp up her game throughout the next season of TUF.
Sample Tweet: “A guy wearing his cell on his belt is the male equivalent of a chick wearing uggs #itwasnevercool”
Bio: “Leading source for news and analysis of the business of MMA. From financials to marketing and from the latest business deals to regulation.”
You will know you have transitioned from casual fan to serious fan when you start caring about numbers. We’re talking PPV buys, TV ratings, and fight purses — the stuff the big boys talk about while others sit at the kiddie table and play UFC Undisputed. Every day you’ll be provided the latest news whenever money changes hands in the MMA world. What’s more is the “Payout Perspective” you get that will help you better understand the way the game is played backstage.
Quite possibly the second most influential man in all of mixed martial arts, Bjorn Rebney never lets the spotlight blind him like it has others. Follow the face of the Toughest Tournament in Sports for fight announcements, personal commentary, and as of late, giveaways. Even if you’re not one to follow a “suit,” you should tag along until the lawsuit with Eddie Alvarez is over just to see it unfold firsthand.
Bio: “We provide an alternative sponsorship platform for fighters that empowers them to execute their next MMA project, funded by fans.”
Inspired by Evan Tanner’s simple approach to sponsorships, MMA trainer Firas Zahabi and company launched FundaFighter. You the fan can sponsor your favorite fighter on their way to the top of the division. Maybe you help buy new equipment, and another time it’s supplements. Once the goals are reached, rewards are given out based on how much you donated. If you’re looking for a worthy cause and want to help support the sport, give these guys a follow.
Bio: “Happy wife, NFL and MMA writer for SI, NYT bestselling author. Thank you, readers, and God bless.”
Along with a few others that pop up on this list, Loretta Hunt is a consummate professional who has lent a great deal of credibility to our sport. She is one of the pound-for-pound best sports writers today. When you follow the right people, you’ll be privileged to “listen in” to the pros. Imagine Midnight in Paris but from your apartment at three in the afternoon.
Sample Tweet: “Just caught Mr. @mattlindland on @HLNTV, as part of its “Making It In America” series, following a TQ fighter’s prep for bout in Moscow”
Bio: “just your average joe, trying to live the american dream…oh yeah and my best friend was born in a manger…”
When he’s not defeating the best Zuffa can throw at him, Benson “Smooth” Henderson is retweeting anything and everything anyone writes about him. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing, because as champion his game should be winning. Let the other guy hype the fight. Oh, wrong guy. I apologize. Henderson also shares quite a few pictures for the fans. Follow his training and words of inspiration right here.
Sample Tweet: “The thing about dieting guys, is that every1 is unique, what works for me won’t work for everyone…#SlowIsSmoothSmoothIsFast”
Bio: “Video Interviewer, Company Man, Beef Squashing Propagandist, Professional stirrer of the pot. People love me because I don’t make them read.”
I swear this is the last parody account on the list of top 25 essential MMA Twitter feeds to follow. Okay I take that back. Kind of. You be the judge. Subconscious Helwani is exactly what I’d expect an alter ego of an admitted smart mark pro wrestling fan to be like. Essentially, it’s one big trash talk marathon and no one is safe. While it’s eerily similar to @MMACurmudeon, the tone is a bit more personal. If you’ve ever wanted to see a video journalist snap at people he feels are inferior in every way, here’s your chance.
Sample Tweet: “If you reported the Wandy story, and feel like your reputation took a “hit” . you have bigger issues than a tricky Brazillian. #dummies”
Bio: “UFC commentator/play-by-play voice for events on FX/FUELTV. Host, ‘The Ultimate Fighter Live’ on FX. Identical twin. Riley’s Dad.” (This will soon be updated to say “Riley and Tatum’s dad.” On behalf of Potato Nation, congrats!)
On top of all his duties listed above, Jon Anik also hosts UFC Ultimate Insider on Fuel TV. On Twitter, you’ll notice his love of all things Boston (his hometown) and his ever-growing bromance with @KennyFlorian. He tweets betting lines and retweets some of the day’s best stories from around the net.
Sample Tweet: “For those who’ve inquired, of course Josh Thomson deserved a post-fight interview in the Octagon. Simply a timing issue when we’re on FOX.”
FRB has had run ins with the likes of Ariel Helwani, Luke Thomas, and Nate Quarry. Regardless of what side of the fence you sit on, watching the verbal sparring could get you through the worst of bad days. If that weren’t enough, he’s scooped more than his share of journalists and broken news on the UG days before anyone else caught wind of it. FRB isn’t your average fan, but he’s not exactly a journalist either. To hear him tell it, he’s a character in the MMA community who tweets what’s on his mind. From UFC locker room stories to WWE pop culture references, FRB brings his A game every day and seems to enjoy fielding his followers questions.
Sample Tweet: “If Nate Diaz wants to want fight at 170 and stay gainfully employed, he better consult Vitor Belfort’s gimmick doctor. Really poor decision”
For over 25 years, Dave Meltzer has written the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, an insider’s perspective at professional wrestling. Since UFC 1, Meltzer has also parlayed MMA coverage into his analysis, sometimes drawing the ire of Vince McMahon and Dana White. Meltzer’s reputation as an analyst of the cable TV and pay-per-view businesses is well established as evidenced by his impressive resume. At the end of the day, if you’re not following @davemeltzerWON you’re missing out on incredible “combat sports entertainment” commentary.
Sample Tweet: “Lots of name women fighters trying out for TUF right now, including Invicta fighters. Shannon Knapp told them they all could”
Bio: “UFC Tonight is the official weekly news and information show of the UFC. Tuesday nights at 10/7p ET/PT on FUEL TV.”
Since most of you don’t have Fuel TV, following UFC Tonight is an absolute must. Tweets come in heavy on Tuesday night as they do their best to keep you in the loop on late breaking news and fight announcements during the show.
Sample Tweet: “Cruz on Faber – “He’s had 5… I’m not here to give more title shots. I’m here to beat the best guys. I’m going to fight Renan Barao next.””
Bio: Future UFC Women’s champ (She left it blank, so I took it upon myself to connect the dots.)
Pat Barry’s thugged-out girlfriend, Rose Namajunas, is undefeated and currently fighting under the Invicta FC banner. She finishes fights in spectacular fashion and is sponsored by this site. What’s not to love?
Bio: “MMA Jokes by Comedian Adam Hunter. Ronda Rousey said it’s her new fav follow. Hope you enjoy. Check out http://www.adamhunter.com”
We’ve all seen some fading celebrity with enough moxie to endure the publicly humiliating spectacle that is the Comedy Central Roast. Take that kind of humor/vitriol and aim it at everyone in the MMA community and you’ve got the MMA Roasted Twitter feed. Come for the funny, stay for the irony.
Sample Tweet: “Bendo’s fiance just hired Stripper Ramsey Nijem for her bachelorette party. #UFC”
As President and CEO of First Round Management, Malki Kawa has knowledge of many facets of the fight game outside the cage. Continually sitting at the negotiating table, Kawa represents the likes of Jon Jones, Frank Mir, Benson Henderson, and Miesha Tate, giving him one of the most talent-rich stables since D-Generation X. Follow him for news on the happenings of his fighters and find out what he thinks of the competition on fight night.
Sample Tweet: “Whoop his ass no problem “@mmafan31: @malkikawa would you be able to take out @EdSoares in a three round fight?””
Bio: “Combat Sports Broadcaster for Showtime Boxing, InvictaFC. Host of #theshow with Mauro Ranallo on my website.”
Mauro Ranallo is affectionately known as the “Bi-Polar Rock & Roller” whose rap sheet spans four decades including notable stops in Calgary, Alberta, Canada for the legendary Hart family’s “Stampede Wrestling,” Saitama, Japan for Pride FC, San Jose, California for Strikeforce, and most recently, Kansas City for Invicta FC. Tweeting at you with all the Chi power one can muster, Ranallo fill your need of WWE, MMA, and boxing opinions and notes all in one place.
Sample Tweet: “Fathers of Boxers have taken over for the Bobby “The Brain” Heenans, Jim Cornettes & Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Harts of the world.”
Women’s MMA is here to stay and Shannon Knapp knows it. Invicta FC is the world’s premiere female MMA promotion and if you want to keep your finger on the pulse, you’ll need to check out Knapps’s feed. You can usually find her using social media to share interviews and articles about her ferocious ladies.
Sample Tweet: “@InvictaFights I just got word from CEO of @ustream and we had the most ppv ever sold on Ustream! So proud of our athletes and staff! ”
Bio: “Youngest world Champion in UFC history, Fighting toward Greatness, Glorifying Christ, Breaking down walls, Living amazed, Will YOU be a witness? #607 #585 #505″
Not only is Jon Jones arguably the greatest fighter of all time (of all TIME!), but he also speaks English. That’s +100 in my book. (Sorry Anderson, but no one understands what you’re saying. Obrigado!) Take Jones’s twitpics detailing his diet and free time combined with tweets of inspiration and greatness and you’ve got a refreshing tweet mixed in with the rest of the garbage you read. The cherry on top is a carefully protected behind the scenes look at the life of a young champion.
Sample Tweet: “Okay I’ll stop I don’t want to come across as preachy.. I respect everyone’s beliefs, just sharing a few of my own #Jesusisalive”
Bio: “Host of TTTHS! I’m a cartoon character! New shows every Wednesday! Inquiries, fan mail, or anything else: [email protected]”
Tommy ToeHold is the funniest real fake guy in the Twitterverse. His weekly talk show is half TMZ, half Dr. Phil. Each episode recaps the highlights and low lights of the past week in MMA including interviews with champions, up-and-comers, and media personalities from around the globe. Hit him up on Twitter and bust his chops. Best insult wins Viewer Comment of the Week on the TTHS.
Before we even get into the awesome that is UFC Tonight’s recent “Fighter Trivia” episode, I just want to put it out there that I will beat any of you in any game show trivia challenge. Any of you. When I was in college, the only channel my RCA 630TS television received was The Game Show Network. Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, Double Dare, right down to the early pioneers of Press Your Luck, Match Game, Pyramid, and The Price is Right were at my disposal on a near 24/7 basis. When I wasn’t browned out in an alleyway looking for a jar of marmalade and bus ticket to Santa Fe, you could assume I was getting my trivia knowledge on with Brawlin’ Bob and the gang.
So you can imagine my excitement when I came across this gem of an idea Fuel TV devoted an episode of UFC Tonight to, with Ariel Helwani playing the proverbial Bob Eubanks role. The premise is simple, a group of fighters are subjected to what I assume is five rounds of trivia (there aren’t videos of all 5 rounds to confirm/deny this) covering everything from their knowledge of The Ultimate Fighter to that of pop culture. They are paired up for certain rounds, but mostly are forced to go on their own until one man is declared the winner.
For the inaugural segment, Michael Bisping, Rashad Evans, Dominick Cruz, and Kenny Florian were chosen as participants. Spoiler alert: Cruz doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and Bisping knows more about Dora the Explorer than we would have ever imagined.
After the jump: Two snippets from the show in which Florian forgets that Bisping and Evans fought at UFC 78 (along with the rest of the world) and Cruz fails to identify Bruce Springsteen by his nickname. Unforgivable, Dom.
Before we even get into the awesome that is UFC Tonight’s recent “Fighter Trivia” episode, I just want to put it out there that I will beat any of you in any game show trivia challenge. Any of you. When I was in college, the only channel my RCA 630TS television received was The Game Show Network. Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Family Feud, Double Dare, right down to the early pioneers of Press Your Luck, Match Game, Pyramid, and The Price is Right were at my disposal on a near 24/7 basis. When I wasn’t browned out in an alleyway looking for a jar of marmalade and bus ticket to Santa Fe, you could assume I was getting my trivia knowledge on with Brawlin’ Bob and the gang.
So you can imagine my excitement when I came across this gem of an idea Fuel TV devoted an episode of UFC Tonight to, with Ariel Helwani playing the proverbial Bob Eubanks role. The premise is simple, a group of fighters are subjected to what I assume is five rounds of trivia (there aren’t videos of all 5 rounds to confirm/deny this) covering everything from their knowledge of The Ultimate Fighter to that of pop culture. They are paired up for certain rounds, but mostly are forced to go on their own until one man is declared the winner.
For the inaugural segment, Michael Bisping, Rashad Evans, Dominick Cruz, and Kenny Florian were chosen as participants. Spoiler alert: Cruz doesn’t know sh*t about sh*t, and Bisping knows more about Dora the Explorer than we would have ever imagined.
It’s OK Kenny, we all forgot about UFC 78. But because I live to educate you members of the Potato Nation, I offer the following Rondeau to take you back to that magical night:
It came boasting “Validation,”
Achieving mere irritation,
Two undefeated TUF winners,
Served the crowd a NyQuil dinner,
A lay-n-pray meditation.
Though it was quite a sensation,
Watching hype trains leave the station,
A future champ dry-humped Fischer, Lytle saved us.
“Assassin’s” humiliation,
A Jiu-Jitsu education?
Earlier, a ginger sinner,
Made the lights in Joe’s brain dimmer,
Overall, a dull occasion,
Lytle saved us!
God damn, I am a lyrical wordsmith.
Now, onto the pop culture round.
Now, I’m never one to play the race card, but did anyone find it rather odd that the black guy (Evans, for those of you who can’t see color or are afraid to make obvious observations) was given two questions about rappers, and all the white dudes were given questions involving Twilight, Britney Spears, Hannah Montana, and generic British history?
And you gotta love that the show made Brittney Palmer don her full octagon “uniform” — ring card and all — to inform us what round it is. Because if there’s one thing people tune into late night MMA news shows on obscure networks for, it’s the chance to see some tits.
But after three grueling rounds, Michael Bisping found himself atop the leaderboard despite the fact that he could barely remember who Prince William was married to. Unfortunately for “The Count,” Dana White still gave the third round to Rashad.
Now who else agrees that at the minimum, this needs to become a regular feature on UFC Tonight, if not a full time game show? Think about it; they could do a Password round with Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones(The password is: “coward”), and a game in which several English-speaking fighters try to decipher whatever the hell Terry Etim is saying. It would be TV gold.
Another Tuesday night has come and gone which means Fuel TV was the destination of choice for most MMA fans. At least it probably was, if A.) you are lucky enough to have the channel and B.) weren’t too busy watching Tosh.O or Sons of Anarchy. Now that I think of it, I’m guessing a total of four of you actually watched last night. Not to worry, Potato Nationtatersyou guys, we watched UFC Tonight and UFC Ultimate Insider for you and laboriously jotted down all the juicy news and rumors for your enjoyment. Here’s what you missed:
Reminder: UFC on Fuel 5 starts at 4pm ET this Saturday. Plan your weekend accordingly.
Speaking of UFC on Fuel 5, one half of the main event Stefan Struve attempts 4.5 submissions per 15 minutes of fighting but has 0% takedown defense. That is not a typo. He has been grounded each of the four times an opponent has attempted to take him to the canvas. I’m no expert, but isn’t that a little troubling? Maybe it’s all just a part of “Skyscraper”‘s master plan considering 16 the BJJ purple belt’s 24 victories come by way of submission. It’s kind of hard to argue with results like that.
Another Tuesday night has come and gone which means Fuel TV was the destination of choice for most MMA fans. At least it probably was, if A.) you are lucky enough to have the channel and B.) weren’t too busy watching Tosh.O or Sons of Anarchy. Now that I think of it, I’m guessing a total of four of you actually watched last night. Not to worry, Potato Nationtatersyou guys, we watched UFC Tonight and UFC Ultimate Insider for you and laboriously jotted down all the juicy news and rumors for your enjoyment. Here’s what you missed:
Reminder: UFC on Fuel 5 starts at 4pm ET this Saturday. Plan your weekend accordingly.
Speaking of UFC on Fuel 5, one half of the main event Stefan Struve attempts 4.5 submissions per 15 minutes of fighting but has 0% takedown defense. That is not a typo. He has been grounded each of the four times an opponent has attempted to take him to the canvas. I’m no expert, but isn’t that a little troubling? Maybe it’s all just a part of “Skyscraper”‘s master plan considering 16 the BJJ purple belt’s 24 victories come by way of submission. It’s kind of hard to argue with results like that.
Ariel Helwani popped on the screen for a minute to update us on the injury status of a one Jonathan Jones – and it’s not looking good. The reigning UFC light heavyweight champion has been medically suspended indefinitely pending x-rays. Let’s just hope it looks better than this.
Helwani also talked with the still recovering hipster, Rory Macdonald. As of now, he’s feeling much better and is able to do some conditioning work and hit pads.It’s not much, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction, which is more than I can say for the fashion advice he’s been receiving. Moving along, Macdonald‘s doctors say he will be able to start camp in two weeks and the VADA drug testing for his upcoming fight against BJ Penn is still part of the plan as far as he knows.
Newly minted Jakks action figure UFC flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson says he wants to defend his title as often as possible. When asked who he thought was next, “Mighty Mouse” said he’d be paying special attention to UFC on FX 5 on October 5th, when TUF 14 contender Jon Dodson meets UFC noobJussierFormiga in a “#1 contender” bout. Make of that what you will.
Funniest line of the show came from Johnson when he said that the people booing were intoxicated, so he wasn’t really affected by it.
This week’s UFC Tonight poll question was ‘Who Do You Want To See Jon Jones Fight Next?’ The results we’re actually quite surprising. Take a look for yourself. Dan Henderson racked up 45% of the votes and was the majority decision by fans. Alexander Gustafsson had 23%, LyotoMachida took 14%, and Chael P. Sonnen only garnered 18% of the vote. Maybe Sonnen will need to do a little more than talk smack before he gets a crack at Jones.
*****
UFC Ultimate Insider took, you guessed it, an inside look at the career of Glover Teixeira. Here’s what you should know, if you didn’t already. Teixeira has been around for awhile. He started training MMA in 2001 and eventually wound up being the main sparring partner of UFC Hall of Famer Chuck Liddell between 2004 and 2006. Unfortunately, according to Ed Soares, the Brazilian was here illegally. You know what that means.
It took three years to get his green card, but when he finally did, Joe Silva was one of the first to know. Now back training at The Pit under the tutelage of “The Iceman” and watchful eye of John Hackleman, Teixeira is determined to make an impact in the cage. Liddell warns other 205-ers that Glover’s only getting better so they better take their shot at him sooner rather than later.
To close out the show, Joe Rogan ranked his Top 8 Greatest Flying Knees. Here they are:
(Hello Quinton, Areva Mookjai here with the Thailand Lady-Boy Observer, I was just wondering if…wow, you go right after it, don’t you?)
We almost feel silly reporting on this, being that there is no way in hell this quarrel will actually be settled in the near future, but just in case you haven’t heard, Quinton Jackson and Chael Sonnen are apparently not a fan of one another, you guys. If you recall, during our thrilling interview with Page a couple of months ago, Jackson stated that he thought Sonnen was “a fool” and was tired of people asking him questions about the former middleweight title challenger on Twitter.
This is where we’d normally say something like, “Time has a way of healing all wounds,” but then of course, we wouldn’t be talking about Rampage Jackson, a man who seemingly has a gripe with everyone and everything from American fans to the UFC to driving down the correct side of a freeway. During a brief interview with MMAElite.net, Jackson aired out his dirty laundry in regards to Sonnen, claiming that he should “leave the UFC because that’s what he said he was going to do if he lost.” Also, “F*ck Chael.” While the former remark could be passed off as a simple criticism, the latter not so much:
Join us after the jump for Chael’s response, which is a doozy.
(Hello Quinton, Areva Mookjai here with the Thailand Lady-Boy Observer, I was just wondering if…wow, you go right after it, don’t you?)
We almost feel silly reporting on this, being that there is no way in hell this quarrel will actually be settled in the near future, but just in case you haven’t heard, Quinton Jackson and Chael Sonnen are apparently not a fan of one another, you guys. If you recall, during our thrilling interview with Page a couple of months ago, Jackson stated that he thought Sonnen was “a fool” and was tired of people asking him questions about the former middleweight title challenger on Twitter.
This is where we’d normally say something like, “Time has a way of healing all wounds,” but then of course, we wouldn’t be talking about Rampage Jackson, a man who seemingly has a gripe with everyone and everything from American fans to the UFC to driving down the correct side of a freeway. During a brief interview with MMAElite.net, Jackson aired out his dirty laundry in regards to Sonnen, claiming that he should “leave the UFC because that’s what he said he was going to do if he lost.” Also, “F*ck Chael.” While the former remark could be passed off as a simple criticism, the latter not so much:
Being the charismatic and media-savvy guy that he is, Chael took to his old post on FUEL TV’s UFCTonight to issue a response. Wasting little time, Sonnen went with the time tested, “Why don’t you stick to *list prior faults of subject at hand*” defense. It was rather effective if you ask us.
Chael’s response begins at the 40 second mark, where, after patting himself on the back a little, Sonnen actually tries to take the high road, stating:
To keep it professional, my answer would simply be, listen, Rampage has one fight left and it’s not against me.
And if you had never heard of Chael Sonnen before, you would likely think that this would be the end of it. But you know better than that, Potato Nation. Sonnen is NEVER professional when it comes to the trash-talking game, and the day that he sits idly by and lets someone lob insults at him without returning fire will be the day that CagePotato receives UFC press credentials. The man is a master of emotional manipulation, and would undoubtedly be the undisputed champion of Yo Momma if that show were still around.
Matter of fact, if you pause the video at the 51 second mark, you can almost see the inner workings of Sonnen’s mind preparing a comeback. Gears are turning, data is being collected, schematics are be constructed — it’s like poetry, really. And with a simple “Now,” Sonnen makes The Switch, not unlike Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top, and unleashes the following:
Now, had you asked me in the streets, in my kingdom, amongst my people, while I’m not wearing the suit and I don’t have the earpiece, and I’m in my sponsor’s t-shirt, my answer might have been different. I’d have probably said ‘Hey Rampage, why don’t you stick to violating female reporters, making box office disasters, and driving the wrong way down the freeway while you’re jacked up on Mountain Dew. Because you ‘Page are not on my level.’ But you didn’t ask me outside, you asked me inside so let’s keep it professional. I don’t wanna get that message out there.
Notice how Sonnen turns to camera 1 to deliver his direct message to Page, as if an alternate persona is stepping in to do his dirty work. Brilliant. But perhaps less than brilliant would be claiming that a former UFC champion, a real former champion, is not “on your level.” Then again, us trying to tell Sonnen how to spit game would be like Sonnen trying to tell us how to defend a triangle choke, so we’ll just thank him for more or less giving us a shout out with the whole “violating female reporters” nod and leave it at that.
Like we said, the fact that these two will never come to blows takes a significant amount of steam out of this potential rivalry, if not all of it. But we’d be nowhere if it wasn’t for needless speculation, which is why we ask unto you:
Given a fight between Sonnen and Page were to take place nowadays, and at a catchweight of 195 lbs, who takes it and how?
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