(It was at the UFC 153 pre-fight press conference that Stephan Bonnar revealed his true gameplan to defeat Anderson: G.T.L.)
All the fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 153 event are scheduled to hit the scales starting at 3 p.m. EST this afternoon from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so make sure to swing by the Tater to check out all the intense, barely-clothed staredowns you could ever ask for. Did that come off as gay? Because we didn’t mean for it to come off as gay; not that there’s anything wrong with that.
(It was at the UFC 153 pre-fight press conference that Stephan Bonnar revealed his true gameplan to defeat Anderson: G.T.L.)
All the fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 153 event are scheduled to hit the scales starting at 3 p.m. EST this afternoon from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so make sure to swing by the Tater to check out all the intense, barely-clothed staredowns you could ever ask for. Did that come off as gay? Because we didn’t mean for it to come off as gay; not that there’s anything wrong with that.
PRELIMINARY CARD (FX 8PM ET)
-Rony “Jason” Mariano Bezerra (145) vs. Sam Sicilia (146)
–Gleison Tibau (155) vs. Francisco Trinaldo (154)
–Diego Brandao (144) vs. Joey Gambino (146)
-Renee Forte (169) vs. Sergio Moraes (169)
PRELIMINARY CARD (Facebook 7PM ET)
-Chris Camozzi (185) vs. Luiz Cane (184)
-Reza Madadi (155) vs. Cristiano Marcello (155)
Notes:
-Make sure to catch Madadi vs. Marcello on the FB prelims, because their staredown nearly erupted into a Strikeforcian brawl.
-Joey Gambino has a tattoo of a cage going halfway around his torso. Just thought that needed mentioning. Also, he’s a dead man.
-Erick Silva is a BEAST. Dude looks like the cartel leader’s henchman from every Brazilian gang movie ever made.
-What the fuck was that one kid in the Silva/Gracie train doing? Because it looked like he was crying. He was definitely crying. Must have been related to Stephan.
(An approximation of Dana’s reaction when we asked him the minimum number of dicks we would have to suck to get a press pass back.)
Yes, you read that title correctly. No, it is not sarcasm and no, this is not a feeble attempt to get back into Dana’s good graces on our part. There are some bridges that are simply meant to be burned and we are willing to accept that. But we think you all should know that The Baldfather is finally expected to undergo surgery to combat the Meniere’s Disease he has publicly struggled with for some time now, and we should all be willing to put our personal issues with the guy aside for the moment and wish him the best of luck and a smooth recovery.
Dana made the announcement this morning via his Twitter:
Taking off right now for UFC RIO!! Anderson Silva vs Stephan Bonnar, pumped for Erick Silva vs Fitch too. Here I come BRAZIL!!!!!! 🙂 Saw the Dr today about my menieres and I’m getn the surgery when I get home from Brazil!!!!! 🙂 #getmyfuknlifeback
If you are unfamiliar with the disease, head after the jump for a full breakdown.
(An approximation of Dana’s reaction when we asked him the minimum number of dicks we would have to suck to get a press pass back.)
Yes, you read that title correctly. No, it is not sarcasm and no, this is not a feeble attempt to get back into Dana’s good graces on our part. There are some bridges that are simply meant to be burned and we are willing to accept that. But we think you all should know that The Baldfather is finally expected to undergo surgery to combat the Meniere’s Disease he has publicly struggled with for some time now, and we should all be willing to put our personal issues with the guy aside for the moment and wish him the best of luck and a smooth recovery.
Dana made the announcement this morning via his Twitter:
Taking off right now for UFC RIO!! Anderson Silva vs Stephan Bonnar, pumped for Erick Silva vs Fitch too. Here I come BRAZIL!!!!!! Saw the Dr today about my menieres and I’m getn the surgery when I get home from Brazil!!!!! #getmyfuknlifeback
If you are unfamiliar with the disease, head below for a full breakdown.
Ménière’s (“men-YEERS”) disease is an inner ear problem that affects your hearing and balance.
Ménière’s disease affects 50,000 to 100,000 people per year. The disease usually occurs in people ages 40 to 60. It affects both men and women. Children also can have Ménière’s disease.
The cause of Ménière’s disease is not known. It may be related to fluids that build up in the inner ear.
Ménière’s disease can cause symptoms that come on quickly. During a Ménière’s attack, you may have: Tinnitus, a low roaring, ringing, or hissing in your ear. Hearing loss, which may be temporary or permanent. Vertigo, the feeling that you or your surroundings are spinning. A feeling of pressure or fullness in your ear.
An attack can last from hours to days. Most people have repeated attacks over a period of years. Attacks usually become more frequent during the first few years of the disease and then come less often after that.
An attack can last from hours to days. Most people have repeated attacks over a period of years. Attacks usually become more frequent during the first few years of the disease and then come less often after that. (via WebMD)
As Dana White has stated in the past, he and his doctor have been battling over which option of treatment to undergo. While he has been gung-ho about the surgery from the get-go, his doctors have insisted that he go the route of prescription medication, believing that the surgical risks (permanent hearing loss, for starters) vastly outweigh the benefits. The only problem is that the medication they offer only works for about 50% of the people that receive it. Dana White is not one of those f*cking people.
So hear’s to Dana (get it? Hear’s. I swear to God, I just came up with that.) in the hopes that he has a smooth recovery. Because we couldn’t fantasize imagine what the UFC, or the MMA world for that matter, would be like without him. Well, except for 12oz, but you can’t take anything that drunk says seriously.
(If it didn’t work for Ken Shamrock, then chances are it ain’t going to work for you.)
Look, spinning backfists aren’t for everybody. Sure, if you’re a malnurished Vietnam vet with a mean streak a mile long, then you can pretty much do whatever you want in the ring and get away with it. But if you’re an overweight amateur fighter who suddenly thinks he’s the white Yahir Reyes, it would probably be in your best interest to leave the study of centrifugal forces to the scientists. This theory also applies when you’re a trash-talking UFC middleweight fighting in the biggest rematch of your life against the pound-for-pound G.O.A.T who you have done nothing but belittle and insult for the past three or so years.
This was a lesson that Matt Lawrence would learn the hard way when he stepped into the ring against Dillon Cleckler at Island Fights 18.
Video after the jump.
(If it didn’t work for Ken Shamrock, then chances are it ain’t going to work for you.)
Look, spinning backfists aren’t for everybody. Sure, if you’re a malnurished Vietnam vet with a mean streak a mile long, then you can pretty much do whatever you want in the ring and get away with it. But if you’re an overweight amateur fighter who suddenly thinks he’s the white Yahir Reyes, it would probably be in your best interest to leave the study of centrifugal forces to the scientists. This theory also applies when you’re a trash-talking UFC middleweight fighting in the biggest rematch of your life against the pound-for-pound G.O.A.T who you have done nothing but belittle and insult for the past three or so years.
This was a lesson that Matt Lawrence would learn the hard way when he stepped into the ring against Dillon Cleckler at Island Fights 18.
The fight may have taken place at the end of August, but the video was just brought to our attention via Dean Toole on our Facebook page. Attempting to give you a play-by-play would do this video no justice, so instead we’ve provided you with a short pictorial of what must have been going through Lawrence’s head as he attempted such an audacious maneuver.
“OK, bro, all of your friends and family are here, so you better not eff this up, because if you pull this off, there’s no way Big Rhonda won’t at least give you a handjo outside the bowling alley like she said she would. This dude appears to be in a lot better shape than you are, so he probably won’t expect you to throw some hella-badass Haiduken or some shit. Alright, let’s set this chump up with a dainty leg kick.”
“Holy shit, he totally bought it! Handjo, here I come.”
(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.)
By Dan “Get Off Me” George
I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012’s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.
Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and thecurse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.
Facebook + FX prelims
Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.
Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.
(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.)
By Dan “Get Off Me” George
I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012′s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.
Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and thecurse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.
Facebook + FX prelims
Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.
Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.
The line on Maia has steadily climbed towards the -160 area, and despite many picking him to lose against Kim in his WW debut, the BJJ whiz out grappled one of the best WW in the world. Story fights best when he can impose his will, but against Maia, clinching against the fence or taking the fight to the ground may not be the best strategy to win. Maia makes the parlay and remains undefeated at 170lbs.
The only thing that sticks out here (like a finger to the eye! *rimshot*) is that Wagner caught Davis once in their first fight. I am not rushing to the window to lay -350 and up on Phil Davis in Brazil as I need to see more from the American wrestling standout to pay that kind of price fighting in Wagner’s back yard.
This is one of those Old School vs. New School fights, a more or less one-dimensional fighter against a more well rounded fighter. Silva has a fantastic sprawl and represents the new breed of fighter who use defensive wrestling to compliment a strong stand up game. Jon Fitch will no doubt fight hard, but I think his old school style may fail him for a second time in a row for the first time in his career. I am going with Silva sitting at -140 for the parlay as I do not think Fitch will be able to win the stand up game or keep Silva on the ground long enough to take the fight on the cards.
I’m on the Glover bandwagon even with the steep price coming in around -400. Trained by everyone from Marco Ruas to John Hackleman and having such sparring partners as Chuck Liddell at his disposal, Glover may just know a thing or two about how to handle himself in the stand up exchange with Fabio. It will be interesting to see if Teixeira attempts to show off his grappling skills in this fight or times a perfect counter to a Maldonado body shot, but it seems like in either case, Glover is ending this fight and stamping his name towards the top of the 205 division. I like the prop that this fight does not go the distance and perhaps ends before the half way mark of the contest.
I want to lay it down on Big Nog and I think the fight plays well into his skill set, but coming off a serious injury against a fairly experienced younger, bigger fighter is a tough spot for the legend here. I do not see this fight going the distance and I would rather sit back and enjoy Antonio’s return as the betting favorite and see if the fight ends before the 15 minute mark.
Maybe I’m just a sucker for slow motion and piano ballads (except for Coldplay. F*ck Coldplay.), but I must admit that the first advertisement for Bellator’s move to Spike TV in 2013 is a surprisingly well made and dare I say poignant bit of filmmaking coming from the network behind such subtle, highbrow programming as Manswers, 1000 Ways to Die, and those endless goddamn CSI reruns. I get it, Grissom, you’re f*cking smarter than everyone else and can figure out any mystery in twenty minutes, now please stop f*cking showboating SO I CAN TRY TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF GAP TOOTH’S OR GINGER LADY’S TITS ALREADY!!
Anyway, back to the ad. Featuring such familiar faces as lightweight champion Michael Chandler, light heavyweight/TNA superstar King Mo Lawal, and former Strikeforce LHW champ Babalu Sobral among others, the 30 second clip succeeds in getting me amped up for a promotion I have literally been aware of for years now, so a kudos is in order to the gentlemen over at Spike.
Maybe I’m just a sucker for slow motion and piano ballads (except for Coldplay. F*ck Coldplay.), but I must admit that the first advertisement for Bellator’s move to Spike TV in 2013 is a surprisingly well made and dare I say poignant bit of filmmaking coming from the network behind such subtle, highbrow programming as Manswers, 1000 Ways to Die, and those endless goddamn CSI reruns. I get it, Grissom, you’re f*cking smarter than everyone else and can figure out any mystery in twenty minutes, now please stop f*cking showboating SO I CAN TRY TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF GAP TOOTH’S OR GINGER LADY’S TITS ALREADY!!
Anyway, back to the ad. Featuring such familiar faces as lightweight champion Michael Chandler, light heavyweight/TNA superstar King Mo Lawal, and former Strikeforce LHW champ Babalu Sobral among others, the 30 second clip succeeds in getting me amped up for a promotion I have literally been aware of for years now, so a kudos is in order to the gentlemen over at Spike.
In addition to Bellator’s arrival, Spike TV will also be broadcasting K-1 kickboxing events in the near future and has made public their plans to move forward with a TUF style reality show, so maybe they will finally erase the title of “worst channel in the history of the world” that they have been labeled for almost a month now.
Considering the abysmal ratings that both the FX prelims and The Ultimate Fighterhave garnered so far, do you guys think that Spike TV and Bellator could actually become a legitimate threat to the UFC’s market down the line?
(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)
It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.
But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.
AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar
SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar
(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)
It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.
But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.
AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar
SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar
LAST TWO FIGHTS RESULTED IN
Bonnar: A pair of tedious but smartly gameplanned UD’s over Igor Pokrajac and Kyle Kingsbury
Silva: A pair of absolute clownings over Yushin Okami and Chael Sonnen
Advantage: Silva
FINISHING RATIO
Bonnar: 66.7% (10 stoppages in 15 victories)
Silva: 78.1% (25 stoppages in 32 victories)
Advantage: Silva
RECORD WHEN FIGHTING UP A WEIGHT CLASS
Bonnar: 0-1 (TKO loss to Lyoto Machida at HW in 2003)
Silva: 2-0 (both at LHW, both by way of first round KO)
Advantage: Silva by an ass-whooping
RECORD AGAINST FORMER UFC CHAMPIONS
Bonnar: 0-6
Silva: 5-0
Advantage: Silva by sweet Jesus, Bonnar’s a dead man
PERFORMANCE AGAINST JON JONES
Bonnar: Hard fought but completely one-sided UD loss
Silva: Would rather just stay friends
Advantage: Bonnar
FRIEND OF CAGEPOTATO
Bonnar: You know it, son!
Silva: Won’t return our calls, filed for three separate restraining orders.
Advantage: Bonnar
SALARIES
Bonnar: $34,000 to show at UFC 139 (seriously, Dana?!)
Silva: $200,000 to show at UFC 148
Advantage: Silva by a Ferrari
GREATEST WAR
Bonnar: One half of the fight that basically pulled the UFC out of the dark ages at the TUF 1 Finale
Silva: Overcame four round deficit to submit Chael Sonnen in the fifth at UFC 117
Advantage: Bonnar by *picks up phone* You gotta see this fight bro!
POST FIGHT CELEBRATION
Bonnar:
Silva: It doesn’t matter. Bonnar clearly wins this round.
Conclusion: Well, well, would you look at that, this fight is actually going to be a lot closer than most of you predicted, with Bonnar actually emerging victorious on paper…
