(Mark Hunt, seen here at the moment he found out where Lavar Johnson got his nickname.)
Shitty news for you “Super Samoan” fans, as it has been confirmed by none other than Mark Hunt himself, via his Twitter account, that he has suffered a knee injury in training and has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest against Stefan Struve at UFC 146. For those of you keeping track, this now means that every single main card fight has been altered from its original pairing, and we’re still over a week out. If you’re currently a ticket holder for UFC 146, we recommend you cross your fingers and stick your head in the sand until May 26th comes around.
I heard last night there was a chance I could get this fight and I accepted right away. You don’t get chances like this too much in life, so when you are lucky, you got to make the most of it. I took one week off after last fight [May 5] and then went back to the gym.
So, Potato Nation, is anyone more stoked at the idea of Johnson/Struve than the original matchup? And who do you think takes this?
(Mark Hunt, seen here at the moment he found out where Lavar Johnson got his nickname.)
Shitty news for you “Super Samoan” fans, as it has been confirmed by none other than Mark Hunt himself, via his Twitter account, that he has suffered a knee injury in training and has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest against Stefan Struve at UFC 146. For those of you keeping track, this now means that every single main card fight has been altered from its original pairing, and we’re still over a week out. If you’re currently a ticket holder for UFC 146, we recommend you cross your fingers and stick your head in the sand until May 26th comes around.
I heard last night there was a chance I could get this fight and I accepted right away. You don’t get chances like this too much in life, so when you are lucky, you got to make the most of it. I took one week off after last fight [May 5] and then went back to the gym.
So, Potato Nation, is anyone more stoked at the idea of Johnson/Struve than the original matchup? And who do you think takes this?
(This tender moment is brought to you by the word: clownshoe.)
As we mentioned earlier this week, Chael Sonnen is basically the living reincarnation of the legend of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He has the capability to come off as a reasonable individual, but more often than not, he chooses to drink that devilish potion, the proceeding surge of bravado almost always coming at the cost of his sanity. Where as Dr. Jekyll becomes a prostitute murdering madman upon drinking said potion, Sonnen reverts into a compulsive liar on such a ridiculous level — spouting claims of certain cycling legends and PED use — that he all but but erases the belief that he is one of the more intelligent figures in the sport today.
Take his recent interview with Jim Rome, in which he discussed his upcoming title fight with Anderson Silva, set for UFC 148 on July 7th. As he did while on “The Joe Rogan Experience,” Sonnen talked about the perceived danger of accepting the rematch in Brazil (as was the original plan) as well as his claims that Silva is a “fake Brazilian.” But you don’t start to smell the fish, so to speak, until his UFC 117 loss to Silva is brought up. After Rome gives the viewers a quick recap of the fight, Sonnen drops this beauty on us:
I am so happy you brought that up for the viewers who may not have seen this…what had happened was an absolute misunderstanding and misapplication of the rules by me. We’re in the fifth and final round, he locks on a submission, and I acknowledge that he has it tight by slapping my hand on his leg.
I tapped. So what I thought is you go to the cards. I win four rounds, he wins that round. Apparently, if you tap, it ends the entire contest, which I was not ever made privy to.
Jesus f’ing Christ. Words cannot even begin to describe the amount of facepalm that is necessary for that aneurysm-inducing bit of drivel. It is as if he is having a four-year old with a inoperable brain tumor scribble out his interview answers in crayon, knowing damn well that the child does not posses the ability to spell “inoperable” or “crayon.” Bill Clinton could not dream up a more ham-fisted response if you were to give him the third runner-up of Miss Plus America, an empty hotel room, and all the time in the world.
Join us after a jump for a play-by-play of the rest of the interview and a full video.
(This tender moment is brought to you by the word: clownshoe.)
As we mentioned earlier this week, Chael Sonnen is basically the living reincarnation of the legend of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He has the capability to come off as a reasonable individual, but more often than not, he chooses to drink that devilish potion, the proceeding surge of bravado almost always coming at the cost of his sanity. Where as Dr. Jekyll becomes a prostitute murdering madman upon drinking said potion, Sonnen reverts into a compulsive liar on such a ridiculous level — spouting claims of certain cycling legends and PED use — that he all but but erases the belief that he is one of the more intelligent figures in the sport today.
Take his recent interview with Jim Rome, in which he discussed his upcoming title fight with Anderson Silva, set for UFC 148 on July 7th. As he did while on “The Joe Rogan Experience,” Sonnen talked about the perceived danger of accepting the rematch in Brazil (as was the original plan) as well as his claims that Silva is a “fake Brazilian.” But you don’t start to smell the fish, so to speak, until his UFC 117 loss to Silva is brought up. After Rome gives the viewers a quick recap of the fight, Sonnen drops this beauty on us:
I am so happy you brought that up for the viewers who may not have seen this…what had happened was an absolute misunderstanding and misapplication of the rules by me. We’re in the fifth and final round, he locks on a submission, and I acknowledge that he has it tight by slapping my hand on his leg.
I tapped. So what I thought is you go to the cards. I win four rounds, he wins that round. Apparently, if you tap, it ends the entire contest, which I was not ever made privy to.
Jesus f’ing Christ. Words cannot even begin to describe the amount of facepalm that is necessary for that aneurysm-inducing bit of drivel. It is as if he is having a four-year old with a inoperable brain tumor scribble out his interview answers in crayon, knowing damn well that the child does not posses the ability to spell “inoperable” or “crayon.” Bill Clinton could not dream up a more ham-fisted response if you were to give him the third runner-up of Miss Plus America, an empty hotel room, and all the time in the world.
Rome is similarly perplexed by this ludicrous claim to end all ludicrous claims, asking, “Isn’t that what a tap is? You tap out and you’re done.”
“Apparently it is,” Sonnen retorts, somehow managing not to turn to the camera and wink whilst doing so.
But Rome, the brave soul, presses forward. “Chael, come on, you don’t know what it means to tap?”
“Well I do know, but at that time-” says Sonnen.
“But you didn’t before then?” Rome cuts in, a fresh stream of blood now trickling down his nose.
“I gotta plead ignorance on this, Jim. Had anybody told me that tapping would cost me the entire bout, and not just the entire round…
I don’t remember how the rest of the interview goes because I blacked out while typing that last line. Judging by the way the fruit punch I was drinking is splattered from wall to wall across my room, I apparently had a seizure as well.
Not to argue with you, Chael, because its clearly a futile effort, but unless we’ve all been in a coma these past 10 years, we’re pretty sure that the seven other motherfucking people who have tapped you out before Silva should have gotten that notion through your head by this point.
Where any other TV host would have probably stood up and stormed off of their own set, Rome continues to press Chael, and we’ll give him this, he almost manages to make Sonnen admit that he was lying. Almost. That by itself is more of a feat than even the mighty Joe Rogan could accomplish in a good two and a half hours, so a tip of the hat is in order for you, Mr. Rome.
Check out the video below. The pants-shittingly stupid back-and-forth begins around the 4:10 mark.
Like a film on the Tomatometer, it’s very rare that a featured ring girl in our Hot Potato galleries receives 100 percent approval from the Potato Nation. We assume it’s because most of you are pulling in some pretty incredible trim, and we chalk up the rest to trolling. In either case, Bellator ring girl Mercedes Terrell is the exception to the rule, for when we posted our original gallery devoted to her “talents” back in October, she was met with overwhelming validation by you Taters, so we decided that a follow-up gallery was necessary. To check out an even more extensive gallery of Ms. Terrell, head over to It’sFightingStupid, and be sure to follow Mercedes on Twitter.
Like a film on the Tomatometer, it’s very rare that a featured ring girl in our Hot Potato galleries receives 100 percent approval from the Potato Nation. We assume it’s because most of you are pulling in some pretty incredible trim, and we chalk up the rest to trolling. In either case, Bellator ring girl Mercedes Terrell is the exception to the rule, for when we posted our original gallery devoted to her “talents” back in October, she was met with overwhelming validation by you Taters, so we decided that a follow-up gallery was necessary. To check out an even more extensive gallery of Ms. Terrell, head over to It’sFightingStupid, and be sure to follow Mercedes on Twitter.
(Tom Lawlor: The UFC’s undisputed Seven Up champion.)
Maybe it’s just us, but it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to drum up a potential list of future opponents for the winners of a given UFC card these days. Not only are most fighters already booked for the promotion’s ever-increasing amount of cards, but the ones selected for title shots are seemingly being drawn out of a hat. Be that as it may, we are going to try and sift through the wreckage of last night’s UFC on FUEL card and determine who the big winners should face next. Enjoy.
Chan Sung Jung: We’ll be the first to admit that we underestimated “The Korean Zombie” heading into yesterday’s fight. But aside from his excellent transitions on the ground, or that amazing takedown reversal to mount he was able to pull off, the thing that impressed us the most about Jung was his tranquility. While Poirier was throwing his best shots at him, Jung remained calm, and worked his way out of every hairy situation like a true pro. He deserves a title shot, and Dana White claims that he is next in line for one. And The Baldfather would never go back on his word. Just ask Anthony Pettis.
(Tom Lawlor: The UFC’s undisputed Seven Up champion.)
Maybe it’s just us, but it seems like it’s getting harder and harder to drum up a potential list of future opponents for the winners of a given UFC card these days. Not only are most fighters already booked for the promotion’s ever-increasing amount of cards, but the ones selected for title shots are seemingly being drawn out of a hat. Be that as it may, we are going to try and sift through the wreckage of last night’s UFC on FUEL card and determine who the big winners should face next. Enjoy.
Chan Sung Jung: We’ll be the first to admit that we underestimated “The Korean Zombie” heading into yesterday’s fight. But aside from his excellent transitions on the ground, or that amazing takedown reversal to mount he was able to pull off, the thing that impressed us the most about Jung was his tranquility. While Poirier was throwing his best shots at him, Jung remained calm, and worked his way out of every hairy situation like a true pro. He deserves a title shot, and Dana White claims that he is next in line for one. And The Baldfather would never go back on his word. Just ask Anthony Pettis.
Amir Sadollah: Despite the fact that neither Sadollah or Jorge Lopez offered much in terms of offensive output in their co-main event (Author’s note: WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THIS?!) clash, we were a little surprised to see Amir get the nod. But regardless of the outcome, one could see that there are still some noticeable holes in Sadollah’s game. Mainly, aggression and takedown defense. Sadollah needs to fight a guy that will bring out his inner beast, and the winner of the Matt Riddle/Luis Ramos bout would be a perfect test for him.
Donald Cerrone: To say that Cerrone’s performance against Jeremy Stephens was anything short of masterful would be an understatement. When facing “The Cowboy’s” multifaceted, not to mention vicious attack, Stephens could do little else but swing for all he was worth, with all but a few of his punches coming up far short of their target. Now 5-1 in the UFC, Cerrone should only be fighting the division’s brightest. A match against Anthony Pettis would not only be a great test of just how far either man will go at 155, but a potential FOTY candidate to boot. Plus, DW could promise the winner a title shot by the end of 2014 when the lightweight division finally clears up.
Yves Jabouin: After falling prey to one of the greatest submissions of 2011 in his UFC debut, the Tristar Gym standout has reeled off three straight in the octagon. Although he has yet to finish an opponent in convincing fashion in his UFC run, he came as close as humanly possible when he unleashed that spinning back kick in the first round of his bantamweight brawl with Jeff Hougland. Given his propencity to put on technical, yet exciting striking clinics, we’d like to see him square off against Mike Easton, who he was originally scheduled to face at yesterday’s event, once “The Hulk” recovers from his injury. It was a good matchup then, and it makes just as much sense now. The pace this fight would take place at would be enough to send the audience into a mass epileptic seizure, and it could make for a great addition to any lacking card.
Tom Lawlor: Currently 2-2 in his last four, with victories coming over the now released Patrick Cote and the soon to be retired Jason MacDonald, it’s kind of hard to place LOLor anywhere but the middle of the pack at this point. We will forever be indebted to “Filthy” for becoming the first man to choke C.B. Dolloway into Narnia at UFC 100, and the man’s weigh-in fashion sense is nothing short of impeccable, so he deserves a winnable matchup against an entertaining fighter to carry the momentum of his KOTN performance. The winner of the Nick Catone/Chris Camozzi scrap, scheduled for UFC on FX 4, comes to mind.
Cody McKenzie: We don’t care if McKenzie is a one-trick pony, he’s our one trick pony, dammit. Physically, McKenzie looked the best he ever has when stepping into the cage against UFC newcomer and wrestling powerhouse Marcus LeVessuer, but that could’ve simply been the result of trimming the outhouse mop that sat atop his head for so long. Sure, he still looked goofy as hell when throwing some of his kicks, which included the first upkick nutshot we’ve seen in quite some time, but if you so much as sneeze in his general direction, he will snatch that neck up and have you crying uncle before you even have time to wipe your nose. He more than likely saved his Zuffa career yesterday, and isn’t exactly ready for a huge step up in competition. Honestly, I would be satisfied if the UFC continued to serve him McKenzietine fodder for the rest of his career, but a matchup against Reza Madadi, who is coming off an impressive debut submission victory over Yoislandy Izquierdo at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva would be a good test of just what he can do.
So what do you think, Potato Nation? Who should yesterday’s biggest winners (or losers) face off against in the near future?
Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the fragile hope that it was only a matter of time before Fedor Emelianenko would rise from the ashes of mediocrity that he seems to have entrenched himself in lately. In a recent interview with Russian publication Rianovosti, “The Last Emperor” candidly spoke about his future in MMA, and claimed that it might be coming to an end after his fight with fellow legend Pedro Rizzo, which is set to transpire on June 21st in St. Petersberg. True to form, Fedor was not one to elaborate when discussing the possibility of retirement.
I think it’s time to call it a day. This fight may be my last one.
So there you have it. God is dead, there will be no Christmas this year, and Fedor f’ing Emelianenko is never going to fight an opponent that stands a chance of beating him ever again. And this is in no way an insult to Rizzo, it’s just that, well, if Gilbert Yvel was able to do this to him, just imagine what Fedor will do. Now combine that with the fact that Rizzo has not fought since nearly crippling the human punching bag that is Ken Shamrock back in July of 2010, and you have the makings for another brutal KO win on Emelianenko’s record over an opponent that no one wants to see get knocked out again.
But Emelianenko was nothing but considerate when discussing his opponent, as has become the standard with a true gentlemen like Fedor:
I have been learning from Pedro’s fights and have a lot of respect for him. He is a fighter of a great maturity, beating many of the strongest.
There’s no denying that in his prime, Rizzo was one of the most feared strikers in the sport, and deserves a boatload of respect for his accomplishments as a mixed martial artist. But come June 21st, we might see two illustrious careers come to an end. One via retirement, and the other via death.
Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the fragile hope that it was only a matter of time before Fedor Emelianenko would rise from the ashes of mediocrity that he seems to have entrenched himself in lately. In a recent interview with Russian publication Rianovosti, “The Last Emperor” candidly spoke about his future in MMA, and claimed that it might be coming to an end after his fight with fellow legend Pedro Rizzo, which is set to transpire on June 21st in St. Petersberg. True to form, Fedor was not one to elaborate when discussing the possibility of retirement.
I think it’s time to call it a day. This fight may be my last one.
So there you have it. God is dead, there will be no Christmas this year, and Fedor f’ing Emelianenko is never going to fight an opponent that stands a chance of beating him ever again. And this is in no way an insult to Rizzo, it’s just that, well, if Gilbert Yvel was able to do this to him, just imagine what Fedor will do. Now combine that with the fact that Rizzo has not fought since nearly crippling the human punching bag that is Ken Shamrock back in July of 2010, and you have the makings for another brutal KO win on Emelianenko’s record over an opponent that no one wants to see get knocked out again.
But Emelianenko was nothing but considerate when discussing his opponent, as has become the standard with a true gentlemen like Fedor:
I have been learning from Pedro’s fights and have a lot of respect for him. He is a fighter of a great maturity, beating many of the strongest.
There’s no denying that in his prime, Rizzo was one of the most feared strikers in the sport, and deserves a boatload of respect for his accomplishments as a mixed martial artist. But come June 21st, we might see two illustrious careers come to an end. One via retirement, and the other via death.
(Stay away from the light, Dustin! Stay away from the light!)
Ladies and gentlemen of the Potato Nation, the end times are upon us. Last night, a quiet, unassuming man named Chan Sung Jung escaped from a remote Korean testing facility and wound up in Fairfax, Virginia. Needing to fulfill certain diversity requirements that had long eluded them, the people of Fairfax embraced and accepted him with open arms, completely unaware that he was in fact patient zero of a zombie-like virus that would spell the untimely demise of the human race. Those ignoramuses.
Before they even knew what had hit them, reports of strange occurrences were popping up from county to county, then state to state. Having caught the latter half of the movie Outbreak on TBS just a few weeks prior, the people of Fairfax knew that they had to capture the source of the disease if they were ever to restore order to the chaos they had created. So they sent forth their bravest virologist, a man by the name of Dustin Poirier, to subdue the host and bring him back for testing. Early reports claimed that “The Diamond” would have little to no trouble accomplishing this feat, as he had successfully extinguished every threat placed before him since joining the Zuffa corporation.
How wrong they were.
For nearly twenty minutes, the two engaged in an all out war of attrition, one that would determine the very fate of mankind. He put up a hell of a fight, but as much as it saddens us to say this, we are officially doomed. Poirier was infected by “The Korean Zombie (virus),” and chances are that you will be soon as well. Early symptoms include raucous use of the phrase, “HOLY SHIT BRO”, an ability to absorb a tremendous amount of punishment, $80,000 cash, drowsiness, and cramps.
(Stay away from the light, Dustin! Stay away from the light!)
Ladies and gentlemen of the Potato Nation, the end times are upon us. Last night, a quiet, unassuming man named Chan Sung Jung escaped from a remote Korean testing facility and wound up in Fairfax, Virginia. Needing to fulfill certain diversity requirements that had long eluded them, the people of Fairfax embraced and accepted him with open arms, completely unaware that he was in fact patient zero of a zombie-like virus that would spell the untimely demise of the human race. Those ignoramuses.
Before they even knew what had hit them, reports of strange occurrences were popping up from county to county, then state to state. Having caught the latter half of the movie Outbreak on TBS just a few weeks prior, the people of Fairfax knew that they had to capture the source of the disease if they were ever to restore order to the chaos they had created. So they sent forth their bravest virologist, a man by the name of Dustin Poirier, to subdue the host and bring him back for testing. Early reports claimed that “The Diamond” would have little to no trouble accomplishing this feat, as he had successfully extinguished every threat placed before him since joining the Zuffa corporation.
How wrong they were.
For nearly twenty minutes, the two engaged in an all out war of attrition, one that would determine the very fate of mankind. He put up a hell of a fight, but as much as it saddens us to say this, we are officially doomed. Poirier was infected by “The Korean Zombie (virus),” and chances are that you will be soon as well. Early symptoms include raucous use of the phrase, “HOLY SHIT BRO”, an ability to absorb a tremendous amount of punishment, $80,000 cash, drowsiness, and cramps.
If you happened to be watching last night’s UFC on FUEL event from a pirated stream or some other medium (because who the hell actually has FUEL), you more than likely experienced many of these symptoms before the main event even began. The same could be said for many of the fighters involved. Just ask Jason “The Mathlete” *snicker* MacDonald, who was so sick with the virus that he slipped into a hallucinogenic state just moments before his fight with Tom Lawlor. Within the opening minute of the very first round, he became so delusional that he mistook the UFC canvas for a Serta mattress and dove headfirst onto it, promptly knocking himself unconscious. When he awoke, his fever had broken, and he could only chuckle at the silly mistake he had made. Lawlor, on the other hand, managed to take home a $40,000 Knockout of the Night award for helping guide this sickly individual to his momentary resting place, living up to the humanitarian reputation he has earned in the UFC.
Signs of the disease were present in Jeremy Stephens and Jeff Hougland in their respective bouts with Donald Cerrone and Yves Jabouin as well. In typical zombie fashion, both men were lit up like the fourth of fucking July for fifteen long minutes, yet could not be put away by their still human counterparts. A tip of the hat is due to their undead corpses. Jabouin opted for a variety of spinning attacks that would make Dennis Siver blush to try and finish the job on Hougland, who only made it out of the fight alive (sort of), thanks to an incredible heart and the, let’s call it timidness, of referee Todd McGovern. Cerrone utilized his reach advantage and a more diverse striking attack to give Stephens fits throughout their fight, putting him in trouble on more than one occasion and slice-n-dicing the ever loving shit out of his face for good measure. When asked to describe his performance afterward, “Lil’ Heathen” proceeded to take a bite out of Jon Anik’s neck and sprint off into the night before he could be put down.
But the virus’ lethargy-induced side effects truly took hold of the audience during the evening’s co-main event, which pitted TUF 7 winner Amir Sadollah against Wanderlei Silva student Jorge Lopez. Although Amir has never been one to get into a barn-burning brawl, even his precision-based offense was a welcome change when having to deal with Lopez’s relentlessly boring “wall-n-stall” takedown attempts. The members of the audience who had not been lulled into a coma…scratch that, every single member of the audience had in fact been lulled into a coma, only to come back as flesh-eating mongoloids hell bent on raping and pillaging anything within arm’s reach. In other words, West Virginians.
Lock your doors. Board up your windows. Put the children to bed and start stockpiling canned foods, because The Korean Zombie virus is coming to your town, probably within the hour. It is relentless, deceivingly strong, and somehow inspiring at the same time, and the only man who can bring an end to this madness is trapped in Canada somewhere.
