Theater of the Bizarre: Glorious Fights That Never Could Have Happened, Pt. III

Forget, if you can, that sad and limited group of considerations that say two fighters from different sports, eras and weight classes can never meet in anger. Disregard the idea that says, “It would never happen because…”
This kind o…

Forget, if you can, that sad and limited group of considerations that say two fighters from different sports, eras and weight classes can never meet in anger. Disregard the idea that says, “It would never happen because…”

This kind of thinking has no place in the Theater of the Bizarre.

Instead, once again, let your imagination run riot through the streets of unfounded assumption, pulling you toward a gathering of like minds, converging at the intersection of Counter Ave. and Factual Blvd. This is a stage where fights unfold due to the virtue of violence. Two authors come together to do their worst to each other, just to see who is best.

Of course, there is always at least one caveat per fight; perhaps it is the size of the gloves or the duration of the rounds. Perhaps it is the number of rounds, the venue or even the application of rules that reign in contrast to the combatants.

At least one circumstance always prevails amid the chaos.

And the bout in question this evening? The outspoken, brash and brilliant Floyd Mayweather Jr. faces the calm, collected and violent Jose Aldo. The action is called in typical play-by-play style.

 

Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Jose Aldo

Caveats: 1935, Madison Square Garden, four-oz. MMA gloves, Thai boxing rules allowed, no submissions or takedowns, 15 five-minute rounds.

Advantages for Mayweather: experience, elite conditioning, brilliant defensive abilities, speed, footwork, flawless boxing skills.

Advantages for Aldo: explosiveness, speed, KO power, brutal leg kicks, knees, elbows, control of the distance, conditioning.  

 

It’s hot here in Madison Square Garden, and the bowtie-and-suit crowd is elbow-to-elbow with the blue collars as Floyd Mayweather Jr.—one of the greatest boxers of his generationand Jose Aldoequally great in his own rightstand in their corners under the hot lights, waiting for the microphone to be lowered into the hands of the ring announcer.

The size of their gloves is the first thing people are noticing, but in truth they aren’t that much smaller than the normal gloves of the era.

No one is sure how this old-time crowd is going to react, but they know what they bought tickets for: a fight. Some people are saying that Mayweather should be replaced with Fritzie Zivic, perhaps one of the roughest and dirties fighters of all time.

“Fritzie would show ‘em a thing or two if they started that sissy kicking!”

It’s a line that gets a lot of laughs, but I doubt Zivic could get close enough to Aldo to maul him with his artistic brand of fouling. This is going to be a shock for a lot of these fans, and for the first time in a long time, Mayweather may get to wear the white hat as a boxer standing tall against the unfamiliar.

The microphone is lowered, and ring announcer Joseph Humphreys announces the fighters to the murmuring crowd of more than 10,000. No one knows these fighters, and perhaps that is for the best; in a fight like thiswhere the conventional is turned on its headneither fighter should rely upon hype or reputation to do his work for him.

The referee calls them both to the center of the ring to go over the rules (and we hope he understands them as well if he’s going to be enforcing them). Mayweather glares at Aldo, who in turn simply looks down at his feet, listing side to side.

Both men are dismissed to their corners, and a surprising swell in volume comes from the crowd. Perhaps the prospect of seeing a violent spectacle of unknown origin is drawing their attention. Whatever it is, no one is making jokes anymore.

The bell is about to ring…

Begin Slideshow

10 More MMA Rematches We’d Love to See

Anytime a fighter loses, if he really did his best, he usually wants a rematch to prove he can be better .
Chuck Liddell took pride in settling the score in his rematches. He creamed Jeremy Horn the second time around, as he did Randy Couture. But sadl…

Anytime a fighter loses, if he really did his best, he usually wants a rematch to prove he can be better .

Chuck Liddell took pride in settling the score in his rematches. He creamed Jeremy Horn the second time around, as he did Randy Couture. But sadly, he gained no satisfaction when he fought Quinton “Rampage” Jackson the second time, getting knocked out in short order.

It’s easy to see why fighters want rematches, but which sequels do the fans want to see, and why?

Most of the time, it’s because a fight was close and the winner was disputed; thus, a rematch is set up to give final and definitive proof as to who deserves to be the victor.

Occasionally, a rematch is booked because a normally good fighter had such a bad showing that the result is best forgotten; the best version of whomever never showed up, so the other guy won almost by default.

And finally, sometimes rematches happen as a due process of divisional rankings. Two fighters met before, and months or years later they meet again. But even as innocent as that sounds, you can bet the bout has some significance for both men.

Either way, a rematch has a special place in our hearts. Here are 10 rematches that we would like to see, offered in the spirit of settling disputes, redeeming bad showings and serving due process.

Begin Slideshow

UFC: Revisiting Foolish Thoughts of the Past in UFC 151, Jones vs. Henderson

It may be hard to believe, but when most writers sit down to put their name to a piece, they usually need to have some honesty behind their words—some belief that what they say is true. If not, how could they defend their position?
When it comes …

It may be hard to believe, but when most writers sit down to put their name to a piece, they usually need to have some honesty behind their words—some belief that what they say is true. If not, how could they defend their position?

When it comes to writing for Bleacherreport.com, such considerations are of the utmost importance. Otherwise the words on the page ring hollow and it becomes quite easy to see through the smoke to find all the mirrors in the room, no matter how cleverly they are placed.

Consider my piece in June of 2012, about the then-upcoming fight between Dan Henderson and Jon Jones: UFC 151: Henderson vs. Jones, Why Hendo Has the Advantage.

Stop laughing, damn it, I am trying to be serious here.

After all, I was dead serious when I wrote the piece, and in reading it again and again, I think I did have some solid points for my previous opinion.

But overall, I was wrong, for all the wrong reasons.

The piece in question was a breakdown of the advantages each man would enjoy going into such a fight, and I do confess that I still wish the fight would have happened, if for no other reason than it would have given Henderson a chance at the title, which I think he had earned far more than Chael Sonnen.

And by the way, I appreciate Sonnen far more now than I did then.

Perhaps it was my fondness for fighters of my generation that colored my opinion. I have been following MMA rabidly since UFC 3, when you had to go to the local magazine rack and flip through the pages of Black Belt magazine in order to find a small write-up of the most recent UFC event.

But none of that keeps me from covering my face in embarrassment now as I look through all the comments and my passionate responses. Sometimes you cannot see the forest through the trees, and at that time, I was sure that Henderson had many advantages simply because Jones had not yet been put into any similar positions.

I defended my opinions with zeal, albeit misplaced. There are over 300 comments in total, and probably half of them are mine. When I look back at it now, that is a great deal of time I spent proving my bias for nostalgia outweighed common sense.

Now, the first day of 2014 is upon us, and I feel the need to account for myself, again. Don’t ask me why, because I cannot give you an honest answer.

Scratch that. Yes, I can, because the fighters in question deserve it.

This isn’t about erasing embarrassment. My piece about the fight is still up there for anyone and everyone who wants to read it and comment. I think it is about trying to become a better writer, and along the way, hopefully a better fan.

In my assessment of Henderson, I gave him three advantages he did not rightly possess—that of striking, cardio and timing. I won’t waste time in explaining why I did so. If you really want to know, just read the slides regarding those points, because I did write them reflecting of my honest belief at the time.

Now, after so many months and fights, I not only know better, but I should have known better at the time.

To be clear, I don’t think Jones is the striking virtuoso so many believe him to be, but now I do think he is better than Henderson. Striking isn’t always about flash. In fact, it is more often about sound fundamentals, and I do believe that a fighter with very solid grasps of the basics could get inside on Jones and do significant damage.

But I don’t think that man is, or ever was Henderson, and I do not say that to impart any sense of slight toward one of the most accomplished wrestler-turned-KO-artists out there. Henderson has always been and always will be a legend because he honestly earned it. But his accomplishments and genuine merit do not make my previous opinion correct, just overly optimistic.

As far as the realm of cardio is concerned, I think my reasoning back then was wrongly colored by the fact that Jones had only been forced to fight one five round bout, at only a moderate pace. I decided to give Henderson the benefit of the doubt because his much younger self had fought a total of 35 minutes, against three different opponents in a single night, way back in 1999. That version of Henderson was a 10 full years earlier than the man that would have been facing Jones.

I had decided that the proof found in the past outweighed the promise of the future. Before UFC 151, Jones was every bit as promising as he is now—hot off the heals from delivering the goods in a fight that demanded a great deal from him against Alexander Gustafsson at UFC 165.

I should have been wise enough to forbid myself the assumption that what is new cannot measure up to what is established, especially since I knew then that time erodes all. What was established then can never be assumed as a constant, especially 10 years later.

Of course, my fellow writers tried to guide my Titanic-sized ship of folly away from the icebergs that were clear for all to see. Hunter “The Ham-Hawk” Homistek tried to break it to me gently but firmly:

Kudos to you on the lengthy reply; it’s truly awesome when a writer goes out of his way to engage the fans! That said, I still think you’re severely overrating Hendo‘s striking abilities and his gas tank. He throws HARD, I’ll give you that. My point was that a phenomenal striker should be able to finish Palhares on the feet, not that he doesn‘t have KO power. Tell me Jones wouldn’t put Palhares away…child please! Hendo BOXES, and Jones employs MMA striking. That will be the difference. I don’t want to take anything away from Hendo‘s legendary career, but Jones is a 6:1 favorite for a reason–he is literally six times better :). haha (that was a joke before anybody destroys me over it) I rate Jones’ striking so highly because it has been absolutely ridiculous. Who else does the things he does not named Anderson Silva or Jose Aldo? Nobody. Why? Because they can’t. How many people throw big overhand punches? Koscheck, Hendricks, Roy Nelson…the list goes on with guys that can do what Hendo does on the feet. I like Hendo, really, I do, but there is no way he has the advantages you say he does my good sir.

Yeah, that about says it all, doesn’t it?

2014 will probably see Henderson retire without ever having won a UFC title. Save, that which he earned in a tournament victory at UFC 17 when he was a younger man—defeating first Allan Goes via decision after 15 hard fought minutes and then Carlos Newton by another decision after another 15 minutes that saw him battered and almost knocked out, only to come back and win a just decision.

Those victories, among countless others, will verify the greatness of Henderson for many years to come, and that is exactly as it should be, because it is honest.

It is also unbiased as it is a proven fact that does not assume too much, nor too little, unlike my prediction for UFC 151, which assumed far too little of Jones, a fighter who has earned every accolade and victory associated with his name.

This is why we have a comments section.

Read more MMA news on BleacherReport.com

MMA in 2014: 10 Fights We Would Love to See

Now that 2014 has officially begun, our eyes look forward with no small amount of anticipation to the future and the fights that could continue the pace that the tail end of 2013 provided.
Jon Jones had his excellent fight with Alexander Gustafsson, Di…

Now that 2014 has officially begun, our eyes look forward with no small amount of anticipation to the future and the fights that could continue the pace that the tail end of 2013 provided.

Jon Jones had his excellent fight with Alexander Gustafsson, Diego Sanchez had his brawl with Gilbert Melendez and Antonio “Big Foot” Silva went toe-to-toe for five hard rounds with Mark Hunt; all excellent scraps that brought 2013 to a close in the best possible way.

Even though Georges St-Pierre was taken an indefinite leave of absence and Anderson Silva and Cain Velasquez are one the sidelines with injuries, 2014 can still be a noteworthy year. Often times, great fights can come where we least expect it, and that is why we watch the sport, after all.

Of course, if seeing a great fight realized was as easy as most matchmakers-from-the-sofa pretend, they would all be great fights; but that does not prevent us from pondering the possibilities, nor should it.

Imagination and anticipation are guilty pleasures for all fight fans, and in that spirit I offer 10 fights we would love to see in 2014.

Begin Slideshow

2013: The Year That Changed Everything for the UFC

With the last UFC event of the year behind us (UFC 168), the time has come to look upon what has happened over the past 12 months and take a moment to quantify it all.
A great deal happened in 2013, much of which will see the UFC forced to make some ch…

With the last UFC event of the year behind us (UFC 168), the time has come to look upon what has happened over the past 12 months and take a moment to quantify it all.

A great deal happened in 2013, much of which will see the UFC forced to make some changes in order to adapt to the new landscape. Two of their its marketable champions seem to be gone for some time, while other fighters are on the rise.

Granted, at the end of the day, the business at hand for the UFC has not changed; it is still a fight promotion that is looking to promote fights, and as long as it has a stable of willing athletes, the more things change, the more they will stay the same.

But 2013 saw many things realized with true gravity, be they good or bad.

Begin Slideshow

3 Boxers Silva Should Face Instead of Jones for True Test in the Ring

I will be the first to admit, I was stunned when I heard Dana White speaking about a potential fight between Anderson Silva and Roy Jones Jr. when he was a guest on Joe Rogan’s podcast before UFC 157.
“I have to make him [Silva] and f–king…

I will be the first to admit, I was stunned when I heard Dana White speaking about a potential fight between Anderson Silva and Roy Jones Jr. when he was a guest on Joe Rogan’s podcast before UFC 157.

“I have to make him [Silva] and f–king Jones happen, man,” he said.

Of course, this made me blink in disbelief. I kept on blinking as Rogan and White talked about the greatness of Silva, how lucky the MMA world would be if he could actually finish his new 10-fight contract and so on.

It’s not that I didn’t think White possessed the same basic DNA as most MMA and boxing fans; I just didn’t think he would be willing to take such a risk.

The idea of Silva wanting to fight Jones to “test himself” seems absurd to me; Jones is many years outside of his prime, and I cannot shake the feeling that should he win, many would try and sell it as an MMA great beating a pound-for-pound boxing legend in the boxing ring.

And that is far from the truth.

Jones was once the greatest fighter in the sport of boxing, but that was many years ago. Silva fighting Jones just seems like bad theater; it’s as if Silva is letting five-plus years of hard defeats and knockouts do the work beforehand.

If Silva really wanted to test himself, there are many other boxers out there who would be able to give him a true test without making it look like they are throwing an MMA fighter to the lions.

But this really isn’t about Silva “testing himself,” it’s about Silva wanting to fight an idol.

And here is the onion; it should not happen under any circumstances because MMA cannot honestly be served in victory or defeat.

Should Silva win a boxing match against Jones, it honestly proves nothing. Over the past eight years, Jones has lost via KO/TKO four times, and he’s taken plenty of hard shots to the head in his other three decision losses. His reflexes are not even a fraction of what they once were, and he is a 44-year-old fighter who has been in the ring 64 times; the math isn’t hard.

Now, should Silva lose (a very real possibility), one of the best MMA fighters of all time will have been defeated by a once-great fighter who is but a shell of his former self—a fact that will be given publicity at nearly every convenient turn for years to come.

And make no mistake about it, this is a very losable fight for Silva. His hands won’t be nearly as fast wearing the bigger gloves, and his hands are going to be all he’s got. Against a man who is still faster than most boxers, who has forgotten more about the sport of boxing than most MMA fighters will ever learn, Silva is probably (and rightfully) an underdog.

It’s ageism at its worst if Silva wins, and it’s a crushing defeat if he loses.

People are going to say that Silva can’t look bad in victory because Jones wants the fight just as bad but that won’t matter when all is said and done. This fight was Silva’s idea, and that is why a victory is going to be seen as a kind of cowardice; there are other fighters out there who haven’t suffered so many hard knockouts, and they would jump at a chance to fight Silva.

Believe it or not, a tougher opponent would make Silva look better even if he lost; it would be seen as an MMA fighter wanting to honestly test himself. That is a much better scenario than Silva trying to claim a meal that has already been chewed up by the fighters who came before him.

There has been a lot made of Silva’s boxing ability in MMA circles due to a video-tapped sparring session in Freddie Roach’s Wild Card gym. If Silva really is as great as such a session would lead many to believe, then there is no real reason why he shouldn’t be fighting any of the three men below.

 

Bernard Hopkins

At age 48, no one could say that Silva didn’t have the advantage of youth on his side in a boxing match against Bernard Hopkins.

They could also say he has a significant size advantage as well, and they would be right. And truth be told, Silva would need every advantage he could get against Hopkins, who is one of the craftiest boxers fighting today.

In addition, unlike Jones, Hopkins has never been knocked out so should Silva defeat him, he would be able to hold his head very high indeed.

While Hopkins probably doesn’t have the power to score a knockout, he might be able to garner a TKO which would ensure that Silva came into the bout in the best shape ever, fully aware of the task ahead of him.

But in all probability, Hopkins would handle Silva with ease, making him look like a fish out of water, which is honestly what he would be in a legitimate boxing match. Hopkins would hold just about every advantage one can imagine, and I doubt Silva would even win a single round.

But if Silva really wants a test, Hopkins could give it to him without sending him into a medically mandated retirement, which allows him to go back to fighting in the UFC.

Should Silva somehow win, he looks great because he would have earned a victory over perhaps the greatest Methuselah boxing has ever known. If he loses, then he will have lost against a fighter who is still viable in his sport, and there is no shame in that.

 

James Toney

Many MMA fans and pundits do not give James Toney his due, but the man was willing to walk all his talk into the Octagon, and while he came up short against Couture, in a boxing ring he could be far more than Silva could handle.

Silva wouldn’t be outsized, and Toney is 45, so once again, youth would go to “The Spider.”

But Toney would be looking for revenge, and odds are he would be swinging for the knockout; given his defensive abilities and punching power, Silva could spend some time throwing his hands before getting countered for the KO.

The main reason why Toney would be a reasonable choice is that even though he is old for the fight game (and well outside his prime), he hasn’t ever been knocked out like Jones has, so an improbable Silva victory wouldn’t be cheapened.

And should Silva win, argument could even be made that it was as close to an even fight as possible since Silva hasn’t ever really fought in a boxing match of note against anyone good. That is a good thing because anytime an athlete crosses over into another sport, there is going to have to be some spin involved.

But how would Silva do in a boxing ring with a motivated James Toney? Probably not that well.

The defensive style of Toney makes him very hard to hit flush and allows him to land brutally hard counters. A novice like Silva would likely get knocked out by the middle rounds, but at least it would look like the sport of MMA was about the business of fair play; Toney fought in the UFC, and the UFC sent one of their best into the boxing ring to fight Toney.

There is also the fact that in Toney, Silva could test himself against a man Jones bested many years ago. It might not seem so grand in 2014, but for Silva’s first true boxing bout, it’s not bad.

 

Chad Dawson

Even though he’s coming off some tough losses (both via TKO), Chad Dawson would be the toughest choice out of the bunch given his youth, skill, speed and power.

Thankfully, Dawson isn’t a KO machine and would be surrendering a significant size advantage against Silva, which could help “The Spider” hang in there for a good number of rounds.

A fight against a man like Dawson yields the biggest risk but the biggest rewards; once again, should Silva somehow win, he looks simply fantastic, no matter how much bigger he is. Should he lose, well Dawson is just one defeat removed from being the WBC light heavyweight champion and thus a loss is honestly expected.

But it would be, by far, the most legitimate challenge for Silva, and in Dawson he would be facing a man who defeated two men who bested Jones: Bernard Hopkins and Antonio Tarver.

If you’re going to go into hostile territory, you might as well go all the way.

 

If Silva—one of MMA’s greatest fighters ever—climbs into the boxing ring, it shouldn’t be about an MMA fighter looking for an easy victory. That panders to the very thing that so many in the MMA community see as the biggest fault of boxing today—too many good fighters take easy fights instead of risking defeat in order to face better competition.

If Silva really does step into the squared circle, he should do it while representing all that makes MMA great—the willingness to face anyone in honest competition.

Until he is ready to do that, perhaps he should try and find some contentment in being an idol in his own right. As one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time, god knows there are plenty who would love to be in his shoes.

Read more MMA news on BleacherReport.com