Author: MattSaccaro

Renan Barao Puts Life at Risk, Makes $0.00


(Photo via Getty.)

Dana White lobbed a financial insult at Renan Barao in the wake of UFC 177.

In case you’ve been away from the Internet for the last few days: The main event of UFC 177 was supposed to be bantamweight champion TJ Dillashaw vs. Renan Barao–an unnecessary rematch of their bout from May. Barao botched his weight cut, which caused him to fall and hit his head in the shower. He was rushed to the hospital and couldn’t fight. Weight cutting is a serious health issue, but Dana White and the UFC apparently don’t care.

Insults to the ego are one thing, insults to the wallet are another. The former is naught but the buzzing of flies, but the latter stings like Head and Shoulders in the eye. Renan Barao will probably get over Joe Rogan essentially calling him an embarrassment to himself and the UFC. But will Barao get over Dana White refusing to pay him his show money? Because that’s what Dana White is doing. He’s not paying Barao.


(Photo via Getty.)

Dana White lobbed a financial insult at Renan Barao in the wake of UFC 177.

In case you’ve been away from the Internet for the last few days: The main event of UFC 177 was supposed to be bantamweight champion TJ Dillashaw vs. Renan Barao–an unnecessary rematch of their bout from May. Barao botched his weight cut, which caused him to fall and hit his head in the shower. He was rushed to the hospital and couldn’t fight. Weight cutting is a serious health issue, but Dana White and the UFC apparently don’t care.

Insults to the ego are one thing, insults to the wallet are another. The former is naught but the buzzing of flies, but the latter stings like Head and Shoulders in the eye. Renan Barao will probably get over Joe Rogan essentially calling him an embarrassment to himself and the UFC. But will Barao get over Dana White refusing to pay him his show money? Because that’s what Dana White is doing. He’s not paying Barao.

“Barao’s not making any money,” Dana White said at the post-UFC 177 media scrum. “I’m not paying Barao. Barao showed up and didn’t fight.”

Henry Cejudo, who also messed up his weight cut and couldn’t fight, did not get paid. In the scrum, White referred to Cejudo as a “kid.”

First: Don’t call an OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST “kid.” That’s denigrating and stupid.

Second: What the fuck, Dana?

So Cejudo and Barao don’t get paid for draining their bodies of precious nutrients because Dana White is mad at them? It wouldn’t be a shameful Dana White moment without weapons-grade hypocrisy.

Alessio Sakara got paid when he withdrew from UFC 122 the day of the event due to “flu like symptoms” but Barao and Cejudo don’t get paid? Nick Ring got paid when he had to withdraw from his UFC 154 fight when he got sick, but not Barao and Cejudo? Stefan Struve got paid at UFC 175 when he couldn’t fight, but not Barao and Cejudo?

This is as bad as when EliteXC paid a guy $1. White could have at least given Barao and Cejudo a Harley Davidson for his troubles…

25 Things You Can Do Between Fights on a UFC on FS 1 Broadcast


(26. Stare at this picture of Dana White for 45 minutes. / Photo via Getty)

The gap between fights on FS1 broadcasts is massive. We realized it was senseless to just watch all the commercials. Instead, let’s all be productive with our time. Here’s a list of several (but not all) things you can do during the huge amount of time in between fights.

1. Watch several fights from a previous UFC PPV on Fight Pass.

2. Go get ice cream or pizza.

3. Perform the recommended amount of daily exercise.

4. Read a chapter from the latest trendy YA novel.

5. Try to educate the heathens next to you at Buffalo Wild Wings about the finer points of MMA.

6. Do DDP Yoga.

7. Read a chapter from Matt Hughes‘ autobiography (don’t worry, it’s not exactly War and Peace).


(26. Stare at this picture of Dana White for 45 minutes. / Photo via Getty)

The gap between fights on FS1 broadcasts is massive. We realized it was senseless to just watch all the commercials. Instead, let’s all be productive with our time. Here’s a list of several (but not all) things you can do during the huge amount of time in between fights.

1. Watch several fights from a previous UFC PPV on Fight Pass.

2. Go get ice cream or pizza.

3. Perform the recommended amount of daily exercise.

4. Read a chapter from the latest trendy YA novel.

5. Try to educate the heathens next to you at Buffalo Wild Wings about the finer points of MMA.

6. Do DDP Yoga.

7. Read a chapter from Matt Hughes‘ autobiography (don’t worry, it’s not exactly War and Peace).

8. Calculate how much interest you’ll earn from your savings account this year.

9. Come up with a better tagline for the upcoming TUF than “Easy on the eyes, hard on the face.”

10. Try to explain the concept of _______ to the average MMA fan (there’s a lot of different ways to go with this one).

11. Try to explain “Alpha Male Shit” to a person with a functioning brain.

12. Illegally download the terrible action film they’re hawking on the broadcast that night, watch it in three-minute installments.

13. Or better yet, just watch Haywire again.

14. Play a game of Pitch, Rummy, Kings, etc.

15. Binge watch your favorite Netflix TV show.

16. Fix that leaky faucet your wife’s been complaining about since March.

17. Listen to YYZ in its entirety.

18. Make a souffle from scratch.

19. Step out for a cigarette or 12.

20. Listen to an episode of your favorite podcast (I recommend “How Did This Get Made?“).

21. Two words: Midnight. Golfing.

22. Take a shot every time a Nos, Harley Davidson, or Metro PCS commercial comes on.

23. Obtain a degree in quantum physics.

24. Go rent The Notebook or go to the movies. Dana White doesn’t care.

25. Write this article.

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: “Slap Jitsu” Made Us Laugh Harder Than Any Previous Martial Arts Fail Video

(We lost it at about 0:06)

This might actually be the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen on our Martial Arts Fail of the Week segment.

I know we say that a lot, but we’ve never actually laughed harder at a martial arts video. Watching a fat kid running forwards at full speed while moving his hands like he was trying to juggle the air itself had us in tears.

We couldn’t really find out a whole lot about these guys. The first time we watched the video (which was sent to us on Twitter, by the way) we actually thought it was a parody. We couldn’t believe people actually trained in this stuff and thought it was legit. Then we remembered Balinese White Magic, Ashida Kim, and Bo Fung Do. So yeah, it’s probably safe to say this isn’t some kind of parody of ridiculous martial arts videos and that the people in the video believe in what they’re doing.

We tried to figure out who these guys are. Check out the results after the jump.


(We lost it at about 0:09)

This might actually be the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen on our Martial Arts Fail of the Week segment.

I know we say that a lot, but we’ve never actually laughed harder at a martial arts video. Watching a fat kid running forwards at full speed while moving his hands like he was trying to juggle the air itself had us in tears.

We couldn’t really find out a whole lot about these guys. The first time we watched the video (which was sent to us on Twitter, by the way) we actually thought it was a parody. We couldn’t believe people actually trained in this stuff and thought it was legit. Then we remembered Balinese White Magic, Ashida Kim, and Bo Fung Do. So yeah, it’s probably safe to say this isn’t some kind of parody of ridiculous martial arts videos and that the people in the video believe in what they’re doing.

Our investigating turned up hardly any information. Another account uploaded this video and referred to it as “Russian slap fighting.” When we searched that term, it was just a bunch of other sites posting the same video. Maybe these slap fighters are a mysterious breed who can only be seen IRL by those who are worthy. Or maybe their school folded because their bullshido made students look like mimes on speed rather than bad ass action heroes. Who knows.

Anyway, enjoy the video, Potato Nation.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

UFC Fight Night 49 Results: Live Blogging the Fights You Care About


(Photo via Getty)

It’s round two of today’s UFC double-header! Earlier this morning we got to see Michael Bisping batter Cung Le and Tyron Woodley knock out Dong Hyun Kim in just a minute.

But like with that card, tonight’s event only has a handful of fights worth spending money to live blog. Those fights are: 1. UFC Fight Night 49’s main event, Rafael Dos Anjos vs. Benson Henderson. 2. The co-main event, Mike Pyle vs. Jordan Mein and 3. Francis Carmont vs. Thales Leites.

If you want to know the full results of the card, we’ll have them after the jump:


(Photo via Getty)

It’s round two of today’s UFC double-header! Earlier this morning we got to see Michael Bisping batter Cung Le and Tyron Woodley knock out Dong Hyun Kim in just a minute.

But like with that card, tonight’s event only has a handful of fights worth spending money to live blog. Those fights are: 1. UFC Fight Night 49′s main event, Rafael Dos Anjos vs. Benson Henderson. 2. The co-main event, Mike Pyle vs. Jordan Mein and 3. Francis Carmont vs. Thales Leites.

If you want to know the full results of the card, we’ll have them right here:

Preliminary Card

Neil Magny vs. Alex Garcia
Beneil Dariush vs. Tony Martin
Matt Hobar def. Aaron Phillips via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Ben Saunders def. Chris Heatherly via submission (omoplata) at 2:18 of round one.
Wilson Reis def. Joby Sanchez via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28).

Main Card

James Vick vs. Walmir Lazaro
Chas Skelly vs. Tom Niinimaki
Max Holloway vs. Mirsad Bektic

Please wait for the live blogging to commence…

Francis Carmont vs. Thales Leites

Mike Pyle vs. Jordan Mein

Benson Henderson vs. Rafel Dos Anjos

You Need to See Cung Le’s Brutalized Face Right This Instant


(The before shot. / Photo via Getty)

Cung Le just fought Michael Bisping at UFC Fight Night 48 in Macau, though it looks like he just dived into the business end of a wood chipper face-first.

Le performed great for a 42-year-old, but ultimately succumbed to a knee and follow-up punches from Bisping (read a full re-cap here). The TKO wasn’t the most shocking part of the fight, however. No, that was Le’s mangled face–specifically his right eye.

You can use “hamburger meat” or whatever term you’d like. We prefer to think of it as the real-life version of Oberyn Martell’s face at the end of his duel with Ser Gregor Clegane. Take a look after the jump:


(The before shot. / Photo via Getty)

Cung Le just fought Michael Bisping at UFC Fight Night 48 in Macau, though it looks like he just dived into the business end of a wood chipper face-first.

Le performed great for a 42-year-old, but ultimately succumbed to a knee and follow-up punches from Bisping (read a full re-cap here). The TKO wasn’t the most shocking part of the fight, however. No, that was Le’s mangled face–specifically his right eye.

You can use “hamburger meat” or whatever term you’d like. We prefer to think of it as the real-life version of Oberyn Martell’s face at the end of his duel with Ser Gregor Clegane. Take a look:


(Photo via Twitter)

Is this the worst post-fight face we’ve ever seen? Maybe not the WORST but it’s certainly the worst in 2014 so far. Be sure to get lots of ice, Cung Le! We hope the scars won’t ruin your acting career.

By the way, other fights happened on the card too. Here are the results:

MAIN CARD

Michael Bisping def. Cung Le via TKO (punches and knee) at 0:57 of round 4
Tyron Woodley def. Dong Hyun Kim via TKO (punches) at 1:01 of round 1
Zhang Lipeng def. Brendan O’Reilly via unanimous dec. (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)
Ning Guangyou def. Jianping Yang via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3) and winner of TUF China.

PRELIMINARY CARD

Wang Sai def. Danny Mitchell via Unanimous Dec. (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Alberto Mina def. Shinsho Anzai via TKO (hammer fists) at 4:17 of round 1.
Yuta Sasaki def. Roland Delorme via submission (RNC) at 1:06 of round 1
Colby Covington def. Wang Anying via TKO (punches) at 4:50 of round 1.
Royston Wee def. Yao Zhikui via split decision (29-28, 27-30, 29-28)
Milana Dudieva def. Elizabeth Phillips via split decision (30-27, 28-29, 29-28)

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A Kung Fu Instructor With a Chuck Liddell-Level Beer Gut

Another weekend, another Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

Today we don’t have anything quite as scandalous as instructors telling you to shit yourself or claiming that defeating a wrestler is as easy as sidestepping a takedown.

Instead, we have an example of the kind of shoddy martial arts techniques being taught in dojos across the country. This is the kind of stuff Martial Arts Fail was originally started to expose: Techniques of dubious validity practiced on partners that are totally compliant. How is that kind of stuff supposed to teach a person how to fight and defend themselves?

So anyway, this week’s example is from a San Soo Kung Fu school. If you’re an MMA history buff, you’d recognize that name. UFC 2‘s Thaddeus Luster was a representative of the style (and he got dominated by a Sambo practitioner). This school in particular belongs to Bill Hulsey, the instructor in the video, who’s been running the school for 39 years.

To us, the video typifies martial arts. An old, deified “master” with a huge beer gut makes himself look like a Mortal Kombat character by beating up a compliant student.

The guy has tons more videos. Have a look at some of the highlights:

Another weekend, another Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

Today we don’t have anything quite as scandalous as instructors telling you to shit yourself or claiming that defeating a wrestler is as easy as sidestepping a takedown.

Instead, we have an example of the kind of shoddy martial arts techniques being taught in dojos across the country. This is the kind of stuff Martial Arts Fail was originally started to expose: Techniques of dubious validity practiced on partners that are totally compliant. How is that kind of stuff supposed to teach a person how to fight and defend themselves?

So anyway, this week’s example is from a San Soo Kung Fu school. If you’re an MMA history buff, you’d recognize that name. UFC 2‘s Thaddeus Luster was a representative of the style (and he got dominated by a Sambo practitioner). This school in particular belongs to Bill Hulsey, the instructor in the video, who’s been running the school for 39 years.

To us, the video typifies traditional martial arts. An old, deified “master” with a huge beer gut makes himself look like a Mortal Kombat character by beating up a compliant student.

The guy has tons more videos. Pretty much all techniques involve slapping the enemy in the balls. Have a look at some of the highlights (and by the way, thanks to Ryan R. aka “SonOfSerbia” for tipping us about this guy):

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].