You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?
Well,there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen. Thankfully, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.
A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. All real photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog. Another card’s image comes from a YouTube screen capture (you’ll know which one).
With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:
You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?
Well, there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen.
Nae bother, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.
A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. Nearly all “real” photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog.
With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:
(“So, did you find a stream of that UFC fight we bought tickets to, or will we have to show up halfway through the main event to play on our phones during it?”)
by CagePotato.com staff
1.You use “UFC” and “MMA” interchangeably.
2. You don’t know how to score a fight under PRIDE rules.
3. You boo fights the second they hit the ground.
4. Your “MMA training” consists of curling in the squat rack, shadowboxing while watching MMA (despite having never hit pads in your entire goddamn life), and picking fights at Buffalo Wild Wings.
5. You don’t have the UFC Fight Pass, security issues aside.
6. You don’t have Legacy FC and Titan FC fight cards committed to memory.
7. Your pathetic DVD collection doesn’t even have any events from Rumble on the Rock.
(“So, did you find a stream of that UFC fight we bought tickets to, or will we have to show up halfway through the main event to play on our phones during it?”)
by CagePotato.com staff
1.You use “UFC” and “MMA” interchangeably.
2. You don’t know how to score a fight under PRIDE rules.
3. You boo fights the second they hit the ground.
4. Your “MMA training” consists of curling in the squat rack, shadowboxing while watching MMA (despite having never hit pads in your entire goddamn life), and picking fights at Buffalo Wild Wings.
5. You don’t have the UFC Fight Pass, security issues aside.
6. You don’t have Legacy FC and Titan FC fight cards committed to memory.
7. Your pathetic DVD collection doesn’t even have any events from Rumble on the Rock.
8. You didn’t create a Facebook to watch preliminary fights.
9. You didn’t post a four paragraph “I don’t even have a Facebook” rant when CagePotato switched over to Facebook comments.
10. You shout “PRIDE NEVER DIE!” during every UFC card, yet you can’t name five PRIDE fighters who didn’t eventually compete in the UFC.
11. You’ve never set foot in an Indian reservation to watch amateur-level fights.
12. You’ve never gotten your ass beat in an unsanctioned smoker.
3. MMA “lifestyle” brands thinking you’re a goon who’ll only wear clothes if it has skulls, wings, or a tribal pattern on it.
4. Hearing casual fans talk about Kimbo Slice every time you decide to catch a PPV at a bar.
5. Hearing non-MMA fans talk about “this rolling around on the ground” every time you decide to catch a PPV at a bar.
6. The obscene cost of being an MMA fan (PPVs, Fight Pass, etc.).
7. Other MMA fans saying you’re not a TRUE fan because…[insert bullshit reason].
8. After the fight scene in a movie or TV show, everyone glares at you because they know you’re about to bash it for how unrealistic it was.
9. Debates about who was the GOAT.
10. People still going on about how awesome Pride was. Yeah, it was awesome, but it’s still dead and it ain’t coming back!
11. Dealing with other “fans” who “train UFC”
12. Dealing with other “fans” who hate every single thing the UFC does and go as far as to never watch the UFC just because.
13. Dealing with other “fans” who believe every single thing the UFC tells them and who refuse to acknowledge any MMA outside the Zuffa umbrella.
14. Dealing with other “fans” who complain that the fighters don’t make enough money but stream PPVs.
15. Debates about the “U-S-A” chant vs. the “You’re gonna die” chant.
16. Debates about TRT.
17. 0-2 amateur fighters with holier-than-thou attitudes. “I’m a FIGHTER, bro! I’m special, I’m different! I’m a WARRIOR.”
18. Arguments with the Zuffa-paid posters on the UG.
19. Painstakingly amassing a collection of fight DVDs only for the UFC to give their library away on the Internet for a few dollars a month.
20. Watching a fight with a BJJ blue who tells you every single grappling-related thing an MMA fighter is doing wrong and insists that they could “tap that dude out in a minute.”
21. Watching a fight with a (kick)boxing guy who tells you every single striking-related thing an MMA fighter is doing wrong and insists that they could “knock that dude out in a minute.”
22. When your relatives buy you TapouT merch because you like “that UFC stuff.”
