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[VIDEO] The Danavlog in Which Chael Sonnen Describes the Time His Mom Almost Shot Yushin Okami

It seems like it’s been forever since we passed along a Danavlog to you Taters, but today’s entry was simply too amazing to pass up. Perhaps to keep in accordance with the epic lineup that is UFC on FOX 5, Dana White has apparently turned up his pre-fight hype vlogs to 11.

Part 1 is above (featuring behind-the-scenes footage from UFC 154) but the real gem is part 2, which lies after the jump. Here’s a rundown of what you’re in store for:

– Dana White catching reality show producer Craig Piligian rummaging through The Ultimate Fighter wardrobe and nearly calling the police.

– Chael Sonnen discussing a recent near-fatal run-in his mother had with Yushin “Yes, No, Thank You” Okami.

– Jon Jones and Sonnen engaging in a discussion about verbal tapping and whether Jones did it against Vitor Belfort, because Sonnen TOTALLY did against Paulo Filho.

– Mike Tyson briefly getting into the time he almost murdered Brad Pitt.

– Anderson Silva channeling DW and dropping an f-bomb, the scamp.

Enjoy this, Potato Nation. Enjoy every last second of it.

Part 1 is above (featuring behind-the-scenes footage from UFC 154) but the real gem is part 2, which lies after the jump. Here’s a rundown of what you’re in store for:

– Dana White catching reality show producer Craig Piligian rummaging through The Ultimate Fighter wardrobe and nearly calling the police.

– Chael Sonnen discussing a recent near-fatal run-in his mother had with Yushin ”Yes, No, Thank You” Okami.

– Jon Jones and Sonnen engaging in a discussion about verbal tapping and whether Jones did it against Vitor Belfort, because Sonnen TOTALLY did against Paulo Filho.

– Mike Tyson briefly getting into the time he almost murdered Brad Pitt.

– Anderson Silva channeling DW and dropping an f-bomb, the scamp.

Enjoy this, Potato Nation. Enjoy every last second of it.

–J. Jones

UFC 150 Videos: The UFC 150 Danavlog & Countdown to UFC 150

Regardless of whether or not you feel Frankie Edgar truly deserved an immediate rematch with Benson Henderson after their epic clash at UFC 144, this rematch is going to happen this weekend, barring any last minute injuries, so you’ll just have to deal with it.

In all honesty, Edgar/Bendo II is perhaps the perfect main event to follow up UFC on FOX 4, as it will surely continue to deliver on the action-packed slugfests that its preceding event provided. And while we’re on the subject of UFC on FOX 4, check out a behind-the-scenes look at the event provided by the almighty Danavlog. It’s got everything: Damarques Johnson asking “What the hell happened?”, Ryan Bader asking “What the hell happened?”, and even Brandon Vera asking “What the hell happened?” Valentine McKee would’ve been proud.

So give that a gander if you would be so kind, and if you’re looking to get properly amped for this weekend’s events, down your first 5-hour energy of the day and check out the full Countdown to UFC 150 videos detailing the Bendo/Edgar, Cerrone/Guillard, and Ed Herman/Jake Shields fights after the jump.

Edgar/Henderson

The story of Benson’s mother, Song, is Oscar Pistorius-level heartwarming, and the same goes for Benson. Everything about the guy is captivating; from his humble beginnings to the heroes welcome he received upon returning home to South Korea with the lightweight strap, Henderson has been a motivated, hard working, class act through and through. That must be why you don’t see a lot of BEN HENDO IS OVERRATED TRASH ASSHOLE GARBAGE RAWWRR!! forums on the UG these days. “Why change because you’ve got the belt?” he asks, “I wanna stay the same fighter that I was before.” We’re sure he means with the exception of one small moment.

And then there’s Frankie Edgar, a.k.a The Little Engine That Could Except No One Wanted It To Because It Was Coming From New Jersey. Undefeated in the rematch scenario, Edgar promises that “Henderson will not defend the belt, because I’m taking it home with me.” Why, Frankie, so you can shower it in AXE body spray and hair gel?!! I think not, Mr. Edgar. I think not.

Cerrone/Guillard

Only twenty three seconds into this video, we are treated to perhaps the most brutal knockout of Melvin Guillard’s career, against Rick Davis at 60. The closest thing I could compare it to would be the beating the Shawshank guards put on Boggs, and like Boggs, Davis never ~~walked~~ fought again.

Guillard describes his old training partner as “The craziest white boy I’ve ever met.” That’s a compliment, right? Fun fact: Cerrone’s and Guillard’s birthdays are only one day apart, which in Guillard’s mind is as close to destiny as he can imagine.

And Cerrone promises fireworks, like we’d expect anything less.

Shields/Herman

Jake Shields has apparently been training everywhere from San Diego (alongside Phil Davis and Brandon Vera) to Abu Dhabi (where he apparently got to fly a jetpack) for his return to the middleweight division. Did I mention he got to fly a jetpack?! For some reason, I suddenly want to be a f*cking fighter.

On an unrelated not, if Shields somehow manages to knock Herman out on Saturday, we’re all gonna get laid. You heard it here first.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Clay Guida and Gray Maynard Verbally Spar Backstage on Dana White’s UFC 147 Vlog

(Dan Miragliotta explains to Guida the maximum amount of miles allowed to run in the octagon without penalty.)

After a brief hiatus, Dana White has returned with the daily dose of heartbreak that is the Danavlog to remind us all of the downsides of being a f*cking fighter. Thankfully, not all of us take the phrase as literally as Brazilians do. But the main lesson we took away from today’s episode is simple: what you don’t pay in gym fees, you will more than make up for in blood. Nick Catone, Joey Gambino, and Ross Pearson were just a few of the men to walk away from their bouts with some gruesome lacerations and another (or in Gambino’s case, a first) loss on their record. A tough day at the office indeed.

“Boring,” and “sucked” were just a couple of words that White used to describe the five round affair between Clay Guida and Gray Maynard, a sentiment that most fans seemed to agree with when all was said and done. And regardless of who you thought won that fight, you could probably understand a little bit of Gray’s frustration with the Steve Prefontainian conundrum that Guida brought to the octagon. This frustration became all the more apparent when the two met backstage, where some less than positive remarks were exchanged between the two camps. Oddly enough, it all began when Guida uncharacteristically complained about the judges decision, despite the fact that Napoleon was closer to conquering Russia than Guida ever was to finishing that fight, or even attempting to for that matter.

Video after the jump.

(Dan Miragliotta explains to Guida the maximum amount of miles allowed to run in the octagon without penalty.)

(Things start to get interesting around the 8:26 mark.)

I know this will earn me a lot of hate (then again, what doesn’t), but when you want to jab and jog your way to victory, as was obviously Guida’s plan going into last Friday’s fight, I can’t really empathize when the judges bite you in the ass for doing so. Relying on the judges to determine the correct outcome of a fight (especially one that was that close) is akin to career suicide in MMA considering their time-tested incompetence, so Guida has no one to blame but himself (and maybe Greg Jackson) for the inevitable result of doing so. I say this as a Guida fan.

Just check out the Fightmetric stats if you want to see how close of a fight this truly was.

Granted, Fightmetric results don’t often tell the whole story, but my God, talk about an abysmal efficiency rate. All of the rounds were decided by such a small difference that it would be hard to make the case that either fighter was clearly deserving of the judges nod. So basically, who you feel won the fight likely comes down to your view of the terms “aggression” and “octagon control.” I’ll give Guida this, he implemented a frustrating gameplan that Maynard had little to no answer for the first couple of rounds. As things progressed, however, Guida just fell short in terms of effectiveness. Let the cries of “TUF noob” and “incompetent jackass” begin.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] The UFC on FOX Danavlog in Which We Play Peeping Tom on Urijah Faber

(Urijah’s lowest moment as an MMA fan? One can only ponder…)

This weekend, the UFC will make its glorious return to the only network that can bash gay rights and advertise Glee within the same half hour. We’re talking about FOX, of course. Featuring Jim Miller vs. Nate Diaz in a probable number one lightweight contender bout, a grudge match between Josh Koscheck and Johny Hendricks (because every fight with Kos is inherently a grudge match), a fight that will more than likely require the use of a stretcher, and a heavyweight sure-to-be-slugfest between Pat Barry and Lavar Johnson, it’s looking like UFC on FOX 3 has the potential to erase the memories of a rather forgettable second event and a rather brief first one. Not that we were complaining, because free fights are free fights.

And to get us hyped for the event, Dana White recently released one of his patented Danavlogs in which he catches Urijah Faber ogling over himself while on the set of TUF 15. It makes TOTAL SENSE if you don’t think about it. We gotta admit though, watching The Baldfather giggle like a school girl at Urijah’s expense makes us long for the days of his shock pen pranks that we came to know and love. [*looks over shoulder nostalgically and sighs*]

Check out the video after the jump.

(Urijah’s lowest moment as an MMA fan? One can only ponder…)

And while we’re on the subject of pranks, specifically those of the shock pen variety, check out this video of two Brazilian television show hosts attempting to prank Chael Sonnen with the combination of a fake nose and an aforementioned shock pen. Perhaps there’s some kind of language/cultural barrier here, but in our opinion, it did not go as planned. Skip to the 5:20 mark for the “prank” in question.

Before you tell us; we know its a slow news day. Just enjoy the videos you sons a’ bitches.

-J. Jones

The New UFC 145 Danavlog is a Triumph for Fans of Defeat

(Apparently Lesnar was the only one who wasn’t a fan of Anderson Silva’s nude pictorial.)

Adhering to its usual formula and taking a look back at the locker room footage from the previous event, the newest edition of UFC President Dana White’s infamous vlog features an up close and personal look at the poor bastards who came up short at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva. And Brian Stann. He’s simply too nice to not be around at all times.

After DW’s regular introduction, we are treated to the woeful words of Damacio Page, Damarques Johnson, and Thiago Silva, who all insist that they are “fine.” We know what that really means. But worse than “The Angel of Death,” worse even than “Darkness,” is the silent sorrow of Paulo Thiago, who stares on in disbelief when re-watching the final moments of his first round KO loss to Siyar Bahadurzada. Thiago has now lost three of his last four UFC contests, despite having the most badass day job of any UFC fighter ever. Chin up, Paulo, we know you’ll be back with a vengeance.

Check out the video after the jump.

(Apparently Lesnar was the only one who wasn’t a fan of Anderson Silva’s nude pictorial.)

Check out the video below, and let us know what you think.

Does anyone else kind of wish that Brian Stann was their dad, or at least their crazy, overweight uncle? The man has to be one of the classiest SOB’s in the sport today, to the point that even when he decides to kick your ass, he’ll still hold back when he feels you’ve had enough. When Alessio Sakara awakens from that coma, he should give Stann a hug for being such a gentleman.

-J. Jones

[VIDEO] UFC 144 Danavlog #1

You know the deal by now, Potato Nation. Dana White’s first video blog for UFC 144 takes a look back at the aftermath of UFC 143, as has become the norm. So we’re going to skip the fancy introduction and get right into it.

(1:43) – Matt Riddle has to be one of the nicest guys in the UFC, bar none. Talk about a guy that loves his job. And a metaphorical fist bump is due to Henry Martinez for putting on a hell of a fight on such short notice. DW states that he originally thought this match-up was “the worst mismatch in UFC History.” How quickly we all forgot Silva/Leites.

(2:36) – Poor Edwin Figueroa‘s testicles.

(2:44) – Apparently Bruce Leroy kicked Figueroa so hard in the balls that he forgot how many times he kicked Figueroa in the balls. Irony? Either way, we agree that a two point deduction seemed a little harsh. Then again, Caceres likely destroyed any of Figueroa’s future plans to have children, so we’ll call it even.

(2:36) – Poor Edwin Figueroa‘s testicles.

(4:26) – The doctors felt the wound on Mike Pierce‘s head was bad enough to warrant staples. Pierce, on the other hand, simply doesn’t have time to bleed. Little did they know who would be next in line…

(5:10) – My God that cut on Roy Nelson’s face.

(5:30) – It appears that temporary amnesia ran rampant at UFC 143, because Nelson must have blacked out during his entrance to believe he won two rounds against Fabricio Werdum. He did share a locker room with Nick Diaz, so perhaps something was in the air.

(6:00) – Has anyone read the transcript of Nick Diaz’s corner during UFC 143? It is without a doubt the most incoherent collection of boisterous claims wrapped in obscenities you will ever read. It’s also the funniest thing you’ll ever read at BloodyElbow.

(7:00) – Diaz thinks that he lost the fourth round. Maybe.

(7:49) – Nelson’s cut, all stitched up.

(9:00) – Nelson, pleading his case to Lorenzo Fertitta, who can only smile at the notion that Nelson won two rounds. I feel you, Big Country. You totally got robbed in the Junior Dos Santos fight as well.

-J. Jones