(Step 1: Combine equal parts Rage virus and Mr. Clean’s DNA. Step 2. ????????? Step 3. Profit.)
We don’t mean to sound harsh, but come October 13th, the UFC will more than likely be severing its ties with 9-1 prospect Joey Gambino. As was the case with guys like Antonio Silva and the poor saps who made it onto our “Cursed From Birth” list, it seems that the UFC doesn’t want to give “The Raging Warrior” a rebound match or a chance to develop in the organization, and will sit idly by as he is pummeled into mincemeat on two separate occasions.
We don’t want to write the guy off (but are doing exactly that), but to put it simply, Gambino was basically filleted then submitted by TUF 14 veteran Steve Siler in his UFC debut at UFC on FX 4. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, now he’s been booked to face not only the winner of that season in his sophomore appearance, but the man who absolutely annihilated Siler (among others) in Diego Brandao. The world is truly an unjust place.
Then again, it’s not like Brandao has looked bulletproof since entering the UFC. He will also be looking to bounce back from a loss, which came at the hands of Darren Elkins at UFC 146. Despite stomping Elkins in the first round, Brandao looked visibly sluggish in the second and third, allowing Elkins to use his superior grappling to keep Brandao on the bottom en route to a unanimous decision loss. So maybe, just maybe, Gambino stands a chance here.
But probably not.
Check out a shoddily filmed video of Gambino’s UFC 146 bout with Siler after the jump and let us know if you agree or disagree.
(Step 1: Combine equal parts Rage virus and Mr. Clean’s DNA. Step 2. ????????? Step 3. Profit.)
We don’t mean to sound harsh, but come October 13th, the UFC will more than likely be severing its ties with 9-1 prospect Joey Gambino. As was the case with guys like Antonio Silva and the poor saps who made it onto our “Cursed From Birth” list, it seems that the UFC doesn’t want to give “The Raging Warrior” a rebound match or a chance to develop in the organization, and will sit idly by as he is pummeled into mincemeat on two separate occasions.
We don’t want to write the guy off (but are doing exactly that), but to put it simply, Gambino was basically filleted then submitted by TUF 14 veteran Steve Siler in his UFC debut at UFC on FX 4. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, now he’s been booked to face not only the winner of that season in his sophomore appearance, but the man who absolutely annihilated Siler (among others) in Diego Brandao. The world is truly an unjust place.
Then again, it’s not like Brandao has looked bulletproof since entering the UFC. He will also be looking to bounce back from a loss, which came at the hands of Darren Elkins at UFC 146. Despite stomping Elkins in the first round, Brandao looked visibly sluggish in the second and third, allowing Elkins to use his superior grappling to keep Brandao on the bottom en route to a unanimous decision loss. So maybe, just maybe, Gambino stands a chance here.
But probably not.
Check out a shoddily filmed video of Gambino’s UFC 146 bout with Siler below and let us know if you agree or disagree.
It may be an all heavyweight main card, but the bantamweight is stealing the show. Props: MMAFighting.com
We’re just hours away from UFC 146, so it’s time to turn on FX and watch the preliminary card. This evening’s all heavyweight main card will kick off with the lighter guys, as Diego Brandao makes his first post-TUF appearance against Darren Elkins, Dan Hardy and Mayhem Miller fight for their careers against Duane Ludwig and C.B. Dollaway, and Edson Barboza takes on Jamie Varner in what may potentially be the squash match/upset of the year. Handling tonight’s liveblogging duties will be Seth Falvo, who will be frantically checking to see if his beloved Philadelphia 76ers can take Game Seven during commercial breaks. Come in after the jump for live play-by-play.
It may be an all heavyweight main card, but the bantamweight is stealing the show. Props: MMAFighting.com
We’re just hours away from UFC 146, so it’s time to turn on FX and watch the preliminary card. This evening’s all heavyweight main card will kick off with the lighter guys, as Diego Brandao makes his first post-TUF appearance against Darren Elkins, Dan Hardy and Mayhem Miller fight for their careers against Duane Ludwig and C.B. Dollaway, and Edson Barboza takes on Jamie Varner in what may potentially be the squash match/upset of the year. Handling tonight’s liveblogging duties will be Seth Falvo, who will be frantically checking to see if his beloved Philadelphia 76ers can take Game Seven during commercial breaks. Come in after the jump for live play-by-play.
Good evening, jerks. I just got back from Bellator 70 in New Orleans. I’m running on two hours of sleep and three cans of Rockstar Xdurance. What I’m trying to say is, let’s just jump right into it, and try not to complain about typos, okay?
Dan Hardy vs. Duane Ludwig
Round One: Both guys start off respecting each other’s striking, hesitant to rush each other. Hardy gets clipped, as Ludwig clinches up and lands some knees to Hardy’s body. Dan Hardy recovers, and pushes Ludwig against the cage, throwing some occasional hooks to Ludwig’s body. Hardy breaks, and lands a nice combination. And a follow-up 1-2. Head kick Ludwig. Hardy throws a 1-2, and misses with the left hook. Nice knee by Ludwig, as Dan Hardy works for a takedown. Hardy now has Ludwig pinned against the cage, but Ludwig is landing knees to the body of “The Outlaw”. Just as Joe Rogan starts praising Hardy’s lead left hook, Hardy lands one right to the jaw of Duane Ludwig. He momentarily celebrates, then finishes the fight with some elbows to a downed Ludwig until Josh Rosenthal stops it. Good start to the night.
Dan Hardy def. Duane Ludwig via KO, 3:51, Round One
And before anyone brings it up: Yes, I heard Arianny was arrested this morning. I didn’t say she was stealing the show for good reasons.
C.B. Dollaway vs. Jason “Mayhem” Miller
Round One: Miller comes out and lands a cross right to Dollaway. Mayhem appears to lock in a guillotine, but Dollaway is out and takes Mayhem’s back. Miller gets back up, and gives Dollaway a noogie. Seriously. Dollaway lands a cross, and now they’re back in the center of the cage. Dollaway drops Mayhem with another cross, causing Joe Rogan to speculate that Mayhem has blown out his knee, which is already wrapped and bandaged. His inability to stand seems to support that theory. Dollaway takes Mayhem’s back, but he can’t get his hooks in. The crowd starts to boo, as Dollaway is doing nothing but hold on, as Mayhem is unable to stand. Miller tries getting up, although Dollaway is doing a good job at keeping Miller down. I wish he would, you know, do something, but I digress. Dollaway works for a kimura, but gives up on it and mounts Mayhem. Miller escapes, and manages to stand as the round ends.
Round Two: Nice jab by Dollaway. Miller is clearly favoring that knee, as Dollaway earns a takedown, but lets Miller back up. Miller catches Dollaway behind the ear, and works to finish, but Dollaway reverses position. Miller manages to get up, but Dollaway has him pinned against the cage. The crowd is booing the lack of action, as Dollaway unsuccessfully attempts a takedown. Miller works for a guillotine, as the crowd boos louder. Miller gives up on the guillotine, and Dollaway throws a few punches from Miller’s half guard. Emphasis on “a few”. This crowd is nearly booing these guys into actually doing something. The Boston Celtics are on top of the Philadelphia 76ers, 17-14, if you’re curious. The round ends with Dollaway in Mayhem’s guard, and the crowd is not impressed.
Round Three: Miller throws a couple of punches, but Dollaway takes him down by that bad knee, and the crowd boos. Miller’s right hand is trapped behind his back, if Dollaway wants to, you know, throw some punches or something. The ref continues to warn them to work, the crowd continues to boo…anyone mind if I change it to the Sixers/Celtics game? Okay, fine. Dollaway now has Miller’s back, and tries to get his hooks in as he occasionally throws a punch. It’s kind of funny to hear Joe Rogan try to save this one. Dollaway finally gets his hooks in, as Miller grabs the cage. C.B. is FINALLY throwing some punches that Mayhem isn’t even trying to defend. Dollaway mounts Miller as this “fight” comes to an end. The crowd boos loudly.
Peace out, Mayhem. I wish I could say it’s been fun to watch you in the UFC.
C.B. Dollaway def. Jason “Mayhem” Miller via unanimous decision.
Dollaway talks about how he was hurt during the second round, how he was injured before this contest, and gives a shoutout to Miami Heat forward Mike Miller, who is part owner of Power MMA & Fitness, where C.B. trains. The crowd is not done booing as we cut to commercials.
No comment on the judge who scored this one 30-26. 29-28 is acceptable, as anyone who gets a noogie during a round automatically loses it in my book.
Edson Barboza vs. Jamie Varner
If the prelims were a Gallagher show, this would be the point where the audience shields themselves with plastic while cheering loudly. If this one somehow doesn’t deliver blood, you can all blame me for jinxing it with that last sentence. Oh no…not Steve Mazzagatti.
Round One: Leg kicks from Barboza as this one starts off. Head kick attempt from Barboza, but Varner catches it and takes him down. Varner now in Barboza’s half guard and throwing punches. After that last “fight”, the crowd is conditioned to boo anything that happens on the ground, and reacts accordingly. Barboza gets back up and throws a leg kick. “Barboza” chants from the crowd, as Varner counters a leg kick with a nice cross. Varner is yet to check a leg kick, and Barboza is really taking advantage. Varner catches Barboza with a huge cross, and takes him down. Barboza gets away, but then gets rocked by another huge cross (?!?!?!?!) and rains down punches until Mazzagatti stops it.
Well HOL-LEE SHIT! It was short and brutal alright, but not nearly in the way that anyone who has paid attention to MMA since 2008 and isn’t named “Varner” was expecting. Yeah, you can call it a comeback.
Jamie Varner def. Edson Barboza via TKO (punches), 2:23, Round One.
True story: Autocorrect tried to fix that last sentence.
We’ve got Kyle Kingsbury vs. Glover Teixeira from the Facebook preliminary card in order to kill time. Other than Kingsbury’s killer mustache, this fight was all Teixeira. Dominant performance capped off with an arm-triangle choke submission, 1:53 into Round One.
Last fight before the PPV up next.
Diego Brandao vs. Darren Elkins
But before we get to that, we’ve got some obligatory hype for the PPV, as Rogan and Goldberg act like Velasquez vs. Bigfoot should be a close fight. Then again, after what we’ve already seen tonight, I dont know what to believe about anything anymore.
Round One: Nice combination from Brandao, capped off with a leg kick. Huge swing and a miss from Brandao, as Elkins gets Brandao to the ground. Nice reversal from Brandao, who ends up in Elkins’ guard. Elkins attempts a kimura, but loses it, as Brandao stands up. Brandao is really swinging for the fences, but he’s missing. Nice knee from Brandao, as Elkins is dropped and Brandao ends up in side control. He throws a few punches, notices Elkins attempt a submission, and then stands back up. Nice 1-2 from Elkins. Brandao lands one of those huge right hands and follows up with another cross, dropping Elkins. Elkins recovers and attempts a guillotine, but Brandao escapes and rains down punches from inside Elkins’ guard. Elkins grabs an arm, but is unable to do anything with it. Brandao stands up, throws a kick to the downed Elkins and then lands another right hand. Elkins holds on as this one comes to an end.
Round Two: They touch gloves. Elkins throws a left hook that completely misses. Nice knee from Brandao. Brandao attempts a lead uppercut, which is countered nicely by Elkins with a cross. Nice back elbow from Brandao. Rogan compares it to Anderson Silva, Goldberg compares it to Jon Jones, and they’re both wrong, as that elbow barely phased Elkins. Brandao slips, and Elkins winds up in Brandao’s guard. Brandao attempts an upkick, and nearly gives up his back as it misses. Elkins back in Brandao’s guard attempting to pass, as Brandao throws elbows from the guard. Elkins passes to half guard, and eventually gets full mount. Big punches from Elkins, and Brandao looks hurt. The crowd is chanting “Diego” as this round comes to an end.
Round Three: Brandao is clearly gassed, and throws some desperate lead uppercuts. Elkins counters with a 1-2, and manages to get Brandao to the ground. Elkins throws punches from Diego Brandao’s guard, as Rogan explains that Brandao wasted all of his energy looking for the finish in the first round. Full mount by Elkins with half of a round left, as he begins to rain down punches. Elkins with an arm-in guillotine, but Brandao escapes and stands back up. Brandao manages to drag Elkins down and looks to mount Elkins, but Elkins manages to pull guard. Brandao is too gassed to put together any meaningful offense, as this one comes to an end with Elkins throwing punches from the guard. I’ve got it 29-28 Elkins.
Okay, I’m glad I’m not the only one who heard Joe Rogan say “He’s getting fucked up” at the end of the second round.
Darren Elkins def. Diego Brandao via unanimous decision.
Very interesting night of fights. It looks like the Sixers are down by four, the heavyweights are about to take over the card, and the preliminary broadcast is coming to a close. That”s all for me tonight. Enjoy the main card.
Unfortunately, last Tuesday’s UFC on FUEL: Zombie vs. Poirier card all but completely derailed our recent run of luck with the Gambling Enabler (aside from the decision to purchase some Bud Light Platinums to celebrate another beautiful McKenzietine bet), but hopefully this weekend’s UFC 146 event, which features an all heavyweight main card for the first time in UFC history will help get things back on track. So without further adieu, may we present to you the tasty betting lines, brought to you courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our brilliant/equally insane advice below.
Unfortunately, last Tuesday’s UFC on FUEL: Zombie vs. Poirier card all but completely derailed our recent run of luck with the Gambling Enabler (aside from the decision to purchase some Bud Light Platinums to celebrate another beautiful McKenzietine bet), but hopefully this weekend’s UFC 146 event, which features an all heavyweight main card for the first time in UFC history will help get things back on track. So without further adieu, may we present to you the tasty betting lines, brought to you courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our brilliant/equally insane advice below.
The Main Event: Good God, has the world completely forgotten that Frank Mir is a former heavyweight champion for Christ’s sake? When we first came across those odds, not only did we double take, we nearly went into full on SpongeBob Squarepants bubble-blowing mode. Look, we all know that JDS has been damn near untouchable since nuking Fabricio Werdum in his octagon debut. We also know that Frank Mir’s chin leaves something to be desired, but at those odds, you’d think this was the squash match of the century, and that’s already been booked in the featherweight division. Mir is a submission savant with a pretty stellar standup game, and considering the experience advantage he’ll be bringing with him come Saturday, it would be nothing short of foolish to place at least a small bet on him at those ridiculous odds. Keep Junior in your parlay, because he has the kind of cement-filled hands that could end Mir’s night really, really early, but a side bet on Mir is common sense here.
The Good Dogs: We hate to be rude, but judging by their last performances, we’d say that Dave Herman and Antonio Silva are f’ing screwed. Plain and simple. Velasquez is too fast and dynamic for “Bigfoot,” and regardless of how Nelson has looked as of late, he is simply on another level than Herman, so scratch those from your list of viable options. The Rosario/Miocic line is really too close to warrant a big bet, and is one of those guaranteed slugfests that is best enjoyed with a cold beer, some nachos, and zero investment in the fighters at hand. Given his insane power, as well as Struve’s tendency to stand for way too long with people he has no business standing with, Lavar “Big” Johnson looks like a decent bet at +105. Then again, Pat Barry almost pulled off a keylock on him. Then again, Pat Barry almost pulled off a keylock on him. That is no typo; we want to let that notion settle in. Once Struve gets this to the ground, it will be over quicker than you can even kick yourself for betting on “Big” in the first place.
Really, the best underdog pick on this card is Paul Sass. Terrible nickname aside, he’s managed to score a couple impressive victories since jumping into the deep waters of the UFC’s lightweight division, mainly, his most recent heel hook win over TUF 12 finalist Michael Johnson. Volkmann has proven to be a force at 155, scoring five straight since dropping from welterweight, but none of those victories have really convinced us that he can do anything other than out-grapple his opponent for three rounds. Sass is a finisher, and Volkmann is anything but. This fight comes down to where you stand on the BJJ vs. wrestling debate, but we expect to see Sass pull off a second or third round sub and claim his place amongst the upper echelon of the lightweight division.
The Easy Bet: Diego Brandao. Although he saw some ups and downs in his glass plaque-earning effort over Dennis Bermudez at the TUF 14 Finale, he should easily be able to handle Darren Elkins, whose 3-1 octagon record looks a bit different when you realize that one of those victories came as a result of Duane Ludwig’s flimsy ankles, and another came as a result of the incompetence of MMA judges in his fight with Michihiro Omigawa. We feel compelled to mention the Miller/Dolloway match considering what’s at stake, but you might as well just throw your paycheck in the fire before you bet on either of those gentlemen.
Official CagePotato Parlay: dos Santos + Velasquez + Nelson + Brandao
Suggested stake for a $50 parlay
$25 on the parlay
$10 on Mir
$10 on Sass
$5 on Kingsbury (because UFC jitters are a thing)
Seven years. Fifteen seasons. The Ultimate Fighter has been a part of our lives for nearly a decade, ladies and gentlemen, and not only is it still going strong, but it has spread at the rate of your average zombie apocalypse. With the first international installment of the hit reality show already under way, TUF has seemingly evolved beyond its counterparts, transcending even that of the sport in it’s ability to excite, and often inspire its audience. Sure, the next season of Jersey Shore will feature a piss drunk pregnant woman and a possible probable cokehead and will therefore rule the ratings from here to eternity, but The Ultimate Fighter has something better to bring to the table than fabricated drama. Mainly, sweet ass knockouts.
With these knockouts, we’ve seen underdogs pull off upsets, loudmouths get their comeuppance, and the emergence of future superstars. So in honor of what has already been a KO-ridden season of TUF, we decided to watch every season back to back, and determine the BEST knockout from its respective season. Enjoy.
(No, no, not THAT kind of ultimate fighter.)
Seven years. Fifteen seasons. The Ultimate Fighter has been a part of our lives for nearly a decade, ladies and gentlemen, and not only is it still going strong, but it has spread at the rate of your average zombie apocalypse. With the first international installment of the hit reality show already under way, TUF has seemingly evolved beyond its counterparts, transcending even that of the sport in it’s ability to excite, and often inspire its audience. Sure, the next season of Jersey Shore will feature a piss drunk pregnant woman and a possible probable cokehead and will therefore rule the ratings from here to eternity, but The Ultimate Fighter has something better to bring to the table than fabricated drama. Mainly, sweet ass knockouts.
With these knockouts, we’ve seen underdogs pull off upsets, loudmouths get their comeuppance, and the emergence of future superstars. So in honor of what has already been a KO-ridden season of TUF, we decided to watch every season back to back, and determine the BEST knockout from its respective season. Enjoy.
We imagine many of you would prefer to have Justin Lawrence’s KO of Christiano Marcello snag the top spot for this year’s brief (albeit brutal) list of knockouts. But the simple matter is, James Vick’s sorta-knee-sorta-kick knockout of Daron Cruickshank earns its place for a multitude of reasons, the first being how unexpected it was. Not many of us had picked Vick to come out victorious after seeing how diverse a striking attack Cruickshank showcased in his preliminary match. Add to that the first couple minutes of the fight, which were completely controlled by said diverse striking attack, and Cruickshank seemed all but destined to advance. Then he got cocky, went for a takedown, and was promptly knocked the fuck out.
Diego Brandao blew through TUF 14 in more devastating fashion than the monsoon that wrecked the set of Apocalypse Now. The main problem we had when deciding upon last season’s top KO wasn’t figuring out who deserved it, but rather which one of Brandao’s deserved it. Was it his steamrolling of Steve Siler? Or maybe his beatdown of Bryan Caraway? The correct answer was actually his flying forearm KO of that poor albino bastard Jesse Newell in episode 1. Our reasoning; it was eerily reminiscent of Dan Henderson’s “‘Amurica” KO of Michael Bisping at UFC 100, something that opposing coach Jason “Mayhem” Miller couldn’t help but notice himself. And anything that makes us recall perhaps the single most glorious moment in MMA history will always gets its just deserves here at CP.
In the heavyweight division, undefeated former Strikeforce contender Shane Del Rosario will make his UFC debut against the suddenly-not-retiredGabriel Gonzaga. Del Rosario’s 11-0 record includes 10 wins by first-round stoppage, but he hasn’t competed since his submission of Lavar Johnson a year ago. Meanwhile, Gonzaga just picked up his first win in the UFC since 2009 when he choked out Ednaldo Oliveira at UFC 142. Gonzaga’s last three UFC victories have come against Octagon first-timers, which might be a bad omen for Del Rosario.
In the heavyweight division, undefeated former Strikeforce contender Shane Del Rosario will make his UFC debut against the suddenly-not-retiredGabriel Gonzaga. Del Rosario’s 11-0 record includes 10 wins by first-round stoppage, but he hasn’t competed since his submission of Lavar Johnson a year ago. Meanwhile, Gonzaga just picked up his first win in the UFC since 2009 when he choked out Ednaldo Oliveira at UFC 142. Gonzaga’s last three UFC victories have come against Octagon first-timers, which might be a bad omen for Del Rosario.
Also on the UFC 146 card, TUF 14 featherweight winner Diego Brandao gets his first non-relaity-show opponent in the UFC when he meets Darren Elkins. Elkins is 2-0 in the UFC since dropping to featherweight, with unanimous decision wins against Michihiro Omigawa and Zhang Tiequan. In other words, he’s no pushover, and Brandao might not be able to destroy him quite as easily as his victims on TUF.
(The folder is fist-posing too, in spirit. Props: @WandFC.)
With filming for The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil starting next month in an undisclosed location, you may be wondering: “And dennnnnn??” So here’s a rundown of what we know so far…
— The season will feature two weight classes, featherweight and middleweight. Each bracket will feature 16 fighters to start, and an elimination round will narrow the talent down to eight fighters in each division, who will then move into the TUF: Brazil house.
— The show will air locally on the Globo channel in Brazil on Sunday nights starting March 25th, and will also be aired on FUEL TV in the U.S.
(The folder is fist-posing too, in spirit. Props: @WandFC.)
With filming for The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil starting next month in an undisclosed location, you may be wondering: “And dennnnnn??” So here’s a rundown of what we know so far…
— The season will feature two weight classes, featherweight and middleweight. Each bracket will feature 16 fighters to start, and an elimination round will narrow the talent down to eight fighters in each division, who will then move into the TUF: Brazil house.
— The show will air locally on the Globo channel in Brazil on Sunday nights starting March 25th, and will also be aired on FUEL TV in the U.S.
— The fight between coaches Wanderlei Silva and Vitor Belfort, as well as the show’s featherweight and middleweight finals, will be part of a June pay-per-view card. Wandy is psyched about meeting his old rival: “This is one fight I really, really want to do before I retire. I’m so happy for a fight with this guy in Brazil.”
— Semi-related: featherweight winner Diego Brandao did in fact buy his mother a house. His mother celebrated his TUF 14 Finale win over Dennis Bermudez by getting wasted: “I can tell she’s drunk. She’s completely drunk. My friends told me, ‘Eeesh, it was crazy during the fights in Manaus. Everything stopped.’”
