Tag: Head to Head

Gambling Addiction Enabler Head-to-Head: UFC 173 Edition


(Damn it, TJ. You’re supposed to hold the imaginary title belt above your head.)

UFC 173 may not be heavy on star power, but it presents some interesting opportunities for the MMA fan with a crippling gambling addiction looking to make a few bucks this weekend. Join staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo as they break down their favorite fights, underdogs and the most creative ways to flush your hard earned cash down the crapper in a “versus” style edition of the gambling addiction enabler. Will Renan Barao extend his winning streak? Is Daniel Cormier a lock against the aging Dan Henderson? Read on for our picks – with odds courtesy of 5Dimes.eu– and may the winnings be yours.

The Good Dogs

Jared: I’d like to start by preemptively shaming you, Seth, as well as the Potato Nation, and truly, every last so-called “MMA fan” who isn’t giving Dan Henderson a smidgen of hope against Daniel Cormier tomorrow night. Seriously, you guys are the worst.

I don’t care if he’s fighting Fedor on Zeus’ shoulders and both can punch but only Zeus can kick, Dan Henderson should *never* be listed at anything worse than even odds. He’s defeated heavyweights, light heavyweights, middleweights, supposed Emperors, and more legends of the sport than pugilistic dementia. That he’s currently hovering around the +600 mark is not only an insult to the man, the myth, the psuedo-Native American that is “Hollywood,” but a disgrace to this sport on par with YAMMA Pit Fighting. TRT, SchmeeRT, Dan Henderson will walk through Cormier’s punches before delivering his greatest H-Bomb to date, at 2:03 of the second round, amen. Say it with me, folks: Dan. F*cking. Henderson.


(Damn it, TJ. You’re supposed to hold the imaginary title belt above your head.)

UFC 173 may not be heavy on star power, but it presents some interesting opportunities for the MMA fan with a crippling gambling addiction looking to make a few bucks this weekend. Join staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo as they break down their favorite fights, underdogs and the most creative ways to flush your hard earned cash down the crapper in a “versus” style edition of the gambling addiction enabler. Will Renan Barao extend his winning streak? Is Daniel Cormier a lock against the aging Dan Henderson? Read on for our picks – with odds courtesy of 5Dimes.eu– and may the winnings be yours.

The Good Dogs

Jared: I’d like to start by preemptively shaming you, Seth, as well as the Potato Nation, and truly, every last so-called “MMA fan” who isn’t giving Dan Henderson a smidgen of hope against Daniel Cormier tomorrow night. Seriously, you guys are the worst.

I don’t care if he’s fighting Fedor on Zeus’ shoulders and both can punch but only Zeus can kick, Dan Henderson should *never* be listed at anything worse than even odds. He’s defeated heavyweights, light heavyweights, middleweights, supposed Emperors, and more legends of the sport than pugilistic dementia. That he’s currently hovering around the +600 mark is not only an insult to the man, the myth, the psuedo-Native American that is “Hollywood,” but a disgrace to this sport on par with YAMMA Pit Fighting. TRT, SchmeeRT, Dan Henderson will walk through Cormier’s punches before delivering his greatest H-Bomb to date, at 2:03 of the second round, amen. Say it with me, folks: Dan. F*cking. Henderson.

(Also, Francisco Rivera at +150 isn’t a bad pick, and Chico Camus is a proven UFC-level fighter with a wealth of experience over TUF 18 winner Chris Holdsworth, who at just 5-0, is being slightly overvalued as a 3-to-1 favorite.)

Seth: I won’t argue that I don’t deserve shame and all, but let’s not act like Henderson wasn’t getting a “$5 for Shiggles” bet out of my wallet this weekend. As for the other good dogs, Rivera upsetting Mizugaki is as safe of an underdog bet as you’ll find on this card, and far be it from me not to wager on a gritty sumbitch like Chico Camus – who holds two upset victories in his 3-1 UFC run, mind you – bullying a 5-0 TUF winner for three rounds. And since I’ve never been one to let pesky little details like “never having seen either guy fight before” stop me from throwing money at my bookie, I’ll pick Li “The Leech” JingLiang to upset the TUF washout fighting on short notice who can’t even spell “bulldog” correctly. Becuz propper spelleng, yoll.

Stay the Hell Away From

Jared: Varner vs. Krause. Becuz inconcistensee. I put good money down on Varner to beat Abel Trujillo at UFC 169, and for most of the fight, Varner was kicking “Killa’s” ass all over the octagon. Then he got cocky/tired and walked straight into a haymaker from Hell. I just so happened to fall out of  moving van that night, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the former WEC lightweight champ has been consistent in the entertainment department since unretiring, but inconsistent everywhere else. And I’m not sure whether Krause was faking, confused, or just plain hurt by Bobby Green’s body kicks in his last bout, but I do know that I’m not placing money on either of these dudes because I can’t medically suffer another “accidental” concussion in the next 30 days.

Seth: Robbie Lawler vs. Jake Ellenberger is going to make for a great fight. And that’s the only prediction I’m willing to stake my all but nonexistent reputation on. Just sit back and enjoy this one, okay?

The Main Event

Seth: I think this will sum up the main event nicely…

Jared: Good point, Seth, but I’m thinking something more along the lines of…

 

As for my prediction…here’s some footage of TJ Dillashaw training on an airplane. It will not help him. I am done speaking on this subject.

Other Fights Worth Investing In
Anthony Njokuani (-225) vs. Vinc Pichel (+205)
Sam Sicilia (-140) vs. Aaron Phillips (+130)
Tony Ferguson (-280) vs. Katsunori Kikuno (+255)

Jared: UFC 173 doesn’t present a ton of interesting gambling opportunities in my eyes, truth be told, but Anthony Njokuani at just -225 against Vinc Pichel, a.k.a Rustam Khabilov’s ragdoll, seems like a steal to me. I don’t even know who A-A-ron Phillips is, so TUF 15 alum Sam Sicilia at -150 seems like a safe parlay bet, even though he’s dropped 3 out of 5 in the UFC. Sicilia’s likely fighting for his UFC career at this point, and will hopefully use that extra motivation to TKO this newbie in the first.

Seth: Not so fast, Jared. Aaron Phillips is part of Tim Creuder’s stable of roughneck brawlers from South Louisiana; he should be a tough opponent for Sicilia. Ain’t no way I’m betting on Sicilia to win this one, but Phillips at +130 doesn’t provide an attractive enough ROI to wager on a guy making his UFC debut. So instead I’ll advise everyone that Tony Ferguson is a safe bet against Katsunori Kikuno. “Japanese veteran on American soil” usually doesn’t end well, and Ferguson has proven to be far more competent at fighting than he is at picking out back tattoos (I mean seriously…).

Jared: You fool. Those are quite clearly Max Holloway‘s super-original angel wing tattoos. No? Ben Henderson then? Renan Barao?

Tony gon’ whoop dat ass, tho.

Suggested Stakes for a $50 Wager
Jared: $30 on a Njokuani + Sicilia + Ferguson parlay (nets $69.48)
$10 on Dan F*cking Henderson (nets $57.50)
$10 on Camus (nets $28)

Seth: $30 on Ferguson + Rivera + Njokuani parlay (nets $116.23)
$10 on Camus + Barao parlay (nets $33.35)
$5 on Dan Henderson (nets $28.75)
$5 on Jingliang + Camus + Rivera + Ferguson + Barao + Njokuani #YOLO parlay (nets $243.29)

Ronda vs. Gina: Who’s the Greatest Female MMA Star of All Time?


(Photos via Paul Buceta, Sherdog)

By BG, cross-posted from Break.com

As the UFC’s first-ever female champion, Ronda Rousey is the biggest name in women’s MMA right now. In fact, Ronda’s popularity is growing so fast that former Strikeforce superstar Gina Carano — once known as “The Face of Women’s MMA” — is becoming a distant memory for many fans. But who really deserves to be called the Greatest Female MMA Fighter of All-Time? Let’s compare the ladies point-by-point and find out…

First and foremost, who’s hotter?
Blonde, fit, and attractive whether she’s smiling or scowling, Ronda Rousey is unquestionably one of the hottest female athletes on the planet. But Gina Carano isn’t just “hot for a fighter.” Her Hollywood-caliber looks have earned her mainstream movie roles, and some of her photo-shoots have been truly jaw-dropping. If you prefer your women to be curvy, Gina takes this one hands down.
Advantage: Gina

How did they get into fighting?
Ronda was born into it. Her mother was a judo world champion, training Ronda from an early age to follow in her footsteps. (“She would wake me up from sleep to do armbars,” Ronda explained.) At 17, Rousey qualified for the 2004 Olympic Games, and won a bronze medal at the 2008 Games in Beijing, becoming the first American woman to earn an Olympic medal in women’s judo.

As for Gina? Her ex-boyfriend’s Muay Thai instructor told her she looked fat when he first met her, which inspired her to take up the sport herself and get in shape. She eventually started competing in Muay Thai, putting together a record of 12-1-1 — which is impressive, but not Olympic Medal impressive.
Advantage: Ronda

To see how Ronda and Gina stack up in five more categories — including MMA accomplishments and GIF-related awesomeness — click here to continue reading this post on Break.com…


(Photos via Paul Buceta, Sherdog)

By BG, cross-posted from Break.com

As the UFC’s first-ever female champion, Ronda Rousey is the biggest name in women’s MMA right now. In fact, Ronda’s popularity is growing so fast that former Strikeforce superstar Gina Carano — once known as “The Face of Women’s MMA” — is becoming a distant memory for many fans. But who really deserves to be called the Greatest Female MMA Fighter of All-Time? Let’s compare the ladies point-by-point and find out…

First and foremost, who’s hotter?
Blonde, fit, and attractive whether she’s smiling or scowling, Ronda Rousey is unquestionably one of the hottest female athletes on the planet. But Gina Carano isn’t just “hot for a fighter.” Her Hollywood-caliber looks have earned her mainstream movie roles, and some of her photo-shoots have been truly jaw-dropping. If you prefer your women to be curvy, Gina takes this one hands down.
Advantage: Gina

How did they get into fighting?
Ronda was born into it. Her mother was a judo world champion, training Ronda from an early age to follow in her footsteps. (“She would wake me up from sleep to do armbars,” Ronda explained.) At 17, Rousey qualified for the 2004 Olympic Games, and won a bronze medal at the 2008 Games in Beijing, becoming the first American woman to earn an Olympic medal in women’s judo.

As for Gina? Her ex-boyfriend’s Muay Thai instructor told her she looked fat when he first met her, which inspired her to take up the sport herself and get in shape. She eventually started competing in Muay Thai, putting together a record of 12-1-1 — which is impressive, but not Olympic Medal impressive.
Advantage: Ronda

To see how Ronda and Gina stack up in five more categories — including MMA accomplishments and GIF-related awesomeness — click here to continue reading this post on Break.com…

Rich Franklin vs. Cung Le: Head-to-Head

This weekend, the UFC will be making its first ever trip to China, which totally explains why they decided to stack a garbage ass card with Japanese fighters and put a Vietnamese guy in the main event, because close enough, right kids?

All kidding and racially misguided motivations aside, we will be in for a hell of a fight when Rich Franklin and Cung Le throw down this Saturday. Both men are known for turning in crowd-pleasing performances each and every time they step into the octagon — thanks in part to Rich’s fearless demeanor and Cung’s Cirque du Soleil-esque kicking ability — and both have gone win-loss in their last four fights. It’s not exactly a must win for either of these company men, but with Franklin currently standing at around a -300 favorite heading into fight night, we figured we would take a look at just how well these two match up, Head to Head style. Enjoy.

This weekend, the UFC will be making its first ever trip to China, which totally explains why they decided to stack a garbage ass card with Japanese fighters and put a Vietnamese guy in the main event, because close enough, right kids?

All kidding and racially misguided motivations aside, we will be in for a hell of a fight when Rich Franklin and Cung Le throw down this Saturday. Both men are known for turning in crowd-pleasing performances each and every time they step into the octagon — thanks in part to Rich’s fearless demeanor and Cung’s Cirque du Soleil-esque kicking ability — and both have gone win-loss in their last four fights. It’s not exactly a must win for either of these company men, but with Franklin currently standing at around a -300 favorite heading into fight night, we figured we would take a look at just how well these two match up, Head to Head style. Enjoy.

AGE
Franklin: 38
Le: 40
Advantage: Franklin

SIZE
Franklin: 6’1″, 76 inch reach, walks around at roughly 220 lbs.
Le: 5’10″, 69 inch reach, walks around at roughly…you know what, it doesn’t matter.
Advantage: Clearly Franklin

LAST TWO FIGHTS RESULTED IN
Franklin: UD loss to Forrest Griffin at LHW (UFC 126), UD win over Wanderlei Silva at Franklinweight (UFC 147)
Le: TKO loss to Wanderlei Silva (UFC 139), UD win over Patrick Cote (UFC 148)
Advantage: Franklin

FINISHING RATIO
Franklin: 86.2 % (25 finishes in 29 victories)
Le: 89 % (8 finishes in 9 victories)
Advantage: Le by a Scott Smith

IMDB ACTOR PROFILE
Le: Small roles in Pandorum, The Man With the Iron Fists, Tekken, Fighting, and The Grandmasters (currently in post production)
Franklin: Leading role in Cyborg Soldier, 3 film roles that begin with the title “Coach,” and a resume that reads: “Was Knocked-out by Lyoto Machida at Inoki Bom-Ba-Ye Festival on December 31st 2003.” OH COME ON, FILM NERDS!
Advantage: Le

BETTER BROKEN NOSE
Franklin: Compliments of Anderson Silva
Le: Compliments of Scott Smith & Wanderlei Silva
Advantage: Dead even. While Le’s broken noses were undoubtedly more brutal in appearance, Franklin was also given a permanent black eye to compliment his busted schnoz. A black eye that, each and every time he looks in the mirror, serves as a constant reminder that he will never again be a champion. OK, maybe Rich takes this one due to emotional trauma.

SALARIES
Franklin: 75k/75k to show/win
Le: 150k to show, no win
Advantage: Le

TOUGHNESS
Franklin: Knocked out/retired Chuck Liddell with a broken arm at UFC 115.
Le: Only uses turn of the century medicine to heal his ailments. Has the nastiest hammertoe you will ever see.
Advantage: Franklin

GREATEST KNOCKOUT
Franklin: One-punched Nate Quarry into a two-year absence from the sport.
Le: Single handidly destroyed Scott Smith’s ability to score heroic comebacks forevermore with a spinning back kick to the turd factory.
Advantage: Le

Conclusion: According to the CagePotato fight scientists, this one is pretty much even, with both fighters coming away victorious in 4 categories and tying in what would be the deciding one. But based on his massive size advantage, we’ll have to take Franklin by a close but decisive unanimous decision.

Agree or disagree here for a chance to win a Bruce Lee/Movember shirt from Lancaster LTD!

–J. Jones

Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

LAST TWO FIGHTS RESULTED IN
Bonnar: A pair of tedious but smartly gameplanned UD’s over Igor Pokrajac and Kyle Kingsbury
Silva: A pair of absolute clownings over Yushin Okami and Chael Sonnen
Advantage: Silva

FINISHING RATIO
Bonnar: 66.7% (10 stoppages in 15 victories)
Silva: 78.1% (25 stoppages in 32 victories)
Advantage: Silva

RECORD WHEN FIGHTING UP A WEIGHT CLASS
Bonnar: 0-1 (TKO loss to Lyoto Machida at HW in 2003)
Silva: 2-0 (both at LHW, both by way of first round KO)
Advantage: Silva by an ass-whooping

RECORD AGAINST FORMER UFC CHAMPIONS
Bonnar: 0-6
Silva: 5-0
Advantage: Silva by sweet Jesus, Bonnar’s a dead man

PERFORMANCE AGAINST JON JONES
Bonnar: Hard fought but completely one-sided UD loss
Silva: Would rather just stay friends
Advantage: Bonnar

FRIEND OF CAGEPOTATO 
Bonnar: You know it, son!
Silva: Won’t return our calls, filed for three separate restraining orders.
Advantage: Bonnar

SALARIES
Bonnar: $34,000 to show at UFC 139 (seriously, Dana?!)
Silva: $200,000 to show at UFC 148
Advantage: Silva by a Ferrari

GREATEST WAR
Bonnar: One half of the fight that basically pulled the UFC out of the dark ages at the TUF 1 Finale
Silva: Overcame four round deficit to submit Chael Sonnen in the fifth at UFC 117
Advantage: Bonnar by *picks up phone* You gotta see this fight bro!

POST FIGHT CELEBRATION
Bonnar:

Silva: It doesn’t matter. Bonnar clearly wins this round.

Conclusion: Well, well, would you look at that, this fight is actually going to be a lot closer than most of you predicted, with Bonnar actually emerging victorious on paper…

…

…Silva by first round KO.

–J. Jones

Chael Sonnen vs. Forrest Griffin: Head-to-Head


(Just bide your time, Chael, he’s gonna walk right into that kneebar any second now.) 

The current betting line on Forrest Griffin vs. Chael Sonnen is downright insane.

Say what you want about how Griffin has looked in the octagon as of late (Seriously, do it. Here are a few adjective suggestions: sluggish, apathetic, hairy, manic-depressive), but even we couldn’t have seen this coming. When it was announced a few days ago that Sonnen would making his return to 205 lbs at UFC 155 against FoGriff after being tarred and feathered coming up short in his rematch with Anderson Silva, we expected that he would open as a small favorite with the former Light Heavyweight champ, if not even. Despite Griffin’s aforementioned lack of firepower lately, especially considering he was riding the TRT train for his last bout, Forrest is pretty massive for a light heavyweight, and you know, already beat Sonnen once before. There is also the fact that Sonnen’s last fight in the UFC at light heavyweight ended in submission (you know which one), and that Griffin managed to catch him with that exact same submission in their first, etc…

In either case, we were dead wrong.

Currently, BestFightOdds has Sonnen listed at an even -300 over Griffin, which must be based entirely on their respective performances against Anderson Silva, with Sonnen lasting roughly six and a half rounds and Griffin lasting roughly three and a half minutes. But those were a long three and a half minutes, you guys, like watching the puppy you got for Christmas fall through the ice in your Grandma’s pond and drown in slow motion…on that very same Christmas.

Needless to say, if this blatant disrespect doesn’t light a fire under Griffin’s ass, nothing will. We feel like we’ve typed that a lot lately.

Is that line as bad as we’re making it out to be? Join us after the jump for a good old fashioned head-to-head breakdown to see if our outrage is justified.


(Just bide your time, Chael, he’s gonna walk right into that kneebar any second now.) 

The current betting line on Forrest Griffin vs. Chael Sonnen is downright insane.

Say what you want about how Griffin has looked in the octagon as of late (Seriously, do it. Here are a few adjective suggestions: sluggish, apathetic, hairy, manic-depressive), but even we couldn’t have seen this coming. When it was announced a few days ago that Sonnen would making his return to 205 lbs at UFC 155 against FoGriff after being tarred and feathered coming up short in his rematch with Anderson Silva, we expected that he would open as a small favorite with the former Light Heavyweight champ, if not even. Despite Griffin’s aforementioned lack of firepower lately, especially considering he was riding the TRT train for his last bout, Forrest is pretty massive for a light heavyweight, and you know, already beat Sonnen once before. There is also the fact that Sonnen’s last fight in the UFC at light heavyweight ended in submission (you know which one), and that Griffin managed to catch him with that exact same submission in their first, etc…

In either case, we were dead wrong.

Currently, BestFightOdds has Sonnen listed at an even -300 over Griffin, which must be based entirely on their respective performances against Anderson Silva, with Sonnen lasting roughly six and a half rounds and Griffin lasting roughly three and a half minutes. But those were a long three and a half minutes, you guys, like watching the puppy you got for Christmas fall through the ice in your Grandma’s pond and drown in slow motion…on that very same Christmas.

Needless to say, if this blatant disrespect doesn’t light a fire under Griffin’s ass, nothing will. We feel like we’ve typed that a lot lately.

Is that line as bad as we’re making it out to be? Join us after the jump for a good old fashioned head-to-head breakdown to see if our outrage is justified.

AGE
Griffin: 33 (but a nearing retirement 33)
Sonnen: 35
Advantage: Somehow Sonnen

SIZE 
Griffin: 6’3″, 77 inch reach, walks around at 240 lbs
Sonnen: 6’1″, 74 inch reach, walked around at 205lbs 24 hours before fights at middleweight
Advantage: Griffin by an entire Wendy’s menu

LAST TWO FIGHTS RESULTED IN
Griffin: 1st round KO loss to Mauricio Rua, razor-thin SD win over Tito Ortiz
Sonnen: Razor-thin UD win over Michael Bisping, 2nd round TKO loss to Anderson Silva
Advantage: Sonnen, we guess

REMATCH RECORD
Griffin: 3-1
Sonnen: 3-3
Advantage: Griffin

FINISHING RATIO
Griffin: 52.6% (10 finishes in 19 victories)
Sonnen: 40.7% (11 finishes in 27 victories)
Advantage: Griffin
Disadvantage: The fans

SALARY
Griffin: $125,000 to show
Sonnen: $50,000 to show
Advantage: Griffin

CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Griffin: Won inaugural season of The Ultimate Fighter in arguably the greatest MMA fight of all time. Defeated Quinton Jackson when he was still relevant to become UFC Light Heavyweight Champion. Four time “Fight of the Night” winner and two time “Submission of the Night Winner”.

Sonnen: NCAA Division 1 All American. Defeated Paulo Filho at the exact moment he became irrelevant to unofficially win WEC Light Heavyweight Championship. Two time “Fight of the Night” winner. Headlined the highest live gate for a UFC event in the promotion’s history.

Advantage: Griffin, via accomplishments in the form of a belt

BOOK TITLES
Griffin: Be Ready When The Shit Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse and Got Fight?: 50 Zen Principles of Hand-to-Face Combat
Sonnen: The Voice of Reason: A VIP Pass to Enlightenment
Advantage: Sonnen via arrogance

WHO WORE TRT BETTER AT UFC 148
Griffin: Looked sloppy and spent by the third round, then decided to storm out of the cage shortly thereafter despite the fact that he had won
Sonnen: Managed to dominate Silva in the first round, then committed the biggest mental error of his career in the second
Advantage: Sonnen

ARREST RECORD
Griffin: None to our knowledge
Sonnen: Pled guilty to money laundering (don’t you dare call it mortgage fraud!!) and received two years probation and a $10,000 fine.
Advantage: Griffin

TWITTER PERSONA
Griffin: Rape advocate
Sonnen: Master Troller
Advantage: Sonnen

PREDICTION: Based on these completely valid, scientifically proven points, Griffin will keep Sonnen at a distance with his jab and defend just enough take downs to eek out a Split Decision victory.

Agree or disagree?

–J. Jones

“ReX vs. Danga” – UFC 140 Edition


(The CagePotato HR Department: Boldly squashing inter-office disputes since 2007.) 

Just like pictures of hot womens and irresponsible opinions, pre-UFC event bickering has become a fixture here at CagePotato. In advance of this weekend’s card in Toronto, we locked Danga and ReX in a miniature Octagon with energy drinks, a blow-up doll, and a set of questions. We were dubious about the doll, but ReX insisted that hilarity would ensue, and he assures us that it did. It wasn’t mentioned in the final article, but some things you just don’t want to ask about.

Come on in past the jump and witness the confusion of two men discussing MMA while being distracted by said hot womens, touching on the subjects of likability, MMA Math, and the potential importance of fashion choices.


(The CagePotato HR Department: Boldly squashing inter-office disputes since 2007.) 

Just like pictures of hot womens and irresponsible opinions, pre-UFC event bickering has become a fixture here at CagePotato. In advance of this weekend’s card in Toronto, we locked Danga and ReX in a miniature Octagon with energy drinks, a blow-up doll, and a set of questions. We were dubious about the doll, but ReX insisted that hilarity would ensue, and he assures us that it did. It wasn’t mentioned in the final article, but some things you just don’t want to ask about.

Now, to the questions:

Does Lyoto stand a Crane kick’s chance in hell of winning this weekend?

RX: Funny you should mention the Crane kick, since I think Machida’s offense will give Jones some pause. Let’s not forget, quite a few pro fighters have been stymied by Machida’s style. In the Rampage fight, Jones was wary in the first round; he didn’t want to catch a big hook and go nighty-night. If he hesitates in the first, Machida can start firing off kicks to minimize Bones’ reach advantage, and it takes exactly one (1) Machida Dragon Kick to separate you from all of your earthly concerns. So… yeah, he’s got a chance. And all this has nothing to do with Machida being on my Official CagePotato Fantasy MMA Team, ok?

Look, I just want to see Jones take a good punch, ok?

Danga: Same here brother, but let’s think about this for a second: Lyoto Machida is known for one thing, utilizing distance and being elusive. Ok, two things.

RX: We’re not mentioning the other other thing?

Danga: No, now pay attention. Aside from being far too tentative, Machida’s main problem is that no kind of flying razzmatazz manuever is going to make up for the fact that he suffers nearly a foot reach disadvantage to Bones. I don’t care how much smaller his practice octagons were, come Saturday night he is going to have nowhere to go. Hell, Rua barely had a reach advantage on him and managed to keep Machida at bay for the most part. I’d also like to note that the size of Machida’s chin is significant in…er…nevermind.

Which fight is the Dark Horse for FOTN?

RX: Well, I’d think Hominick-Jung is the favorite to win FOTN, but dark horse candidate? Hamman-Phillippou could be a knockdown-dragout, what with Hamman’s ability to take punishment. How about Jabouin-Watson? Walel “The Gazelle” Watson is ridiculously long at bantamweight, has an arsenal of sick chokes, and he’s faster than my first lap dance. Plus he’s with Team Hurricane Awesome MMA Team of Awesomeness, which is a totally real thing –a CagePotato-approved camp out of San Diego — so i expect big things from him. Jabouin is no push-over of course, so we could be in for some fun back and forth exchanges. If it lasts more than sixty seconds, it could be a real crowd-pleaser.

Danga: When I initially looked at this list, I also thought that the Hominick-Jung scrap looked like a clear front runner for FOTN. Then I sat down, drank a Blue Moon with my lady, grew up, drank a Genesee Original Draft, and came to my senses. I know Jung has developed a new style and all, but Hominick is going to DESTROY him. I hate to use MMA math here, but Hominick DESTROYED the guy who DESTROYED Jung, and therefore will knock Jung out in the first 30 seconds.

RX: My head hurts. MMA MATH IS HARD. i never know what to do with the damn exponents. Do i add them or multiply? *inputs 58008 into calculator, snickers*

Danga: Haha. Boobs…what were we talking about again? Oh yeah, Fight of the Night, which is going to Mir/Nogueira. Mir is out to prove that the first match was no fluke, and is also in desperate need of an exciting match if he doesn’t want to float aimlessly amidst the heavyweight pool for the rest of his career. Plus, when has Big Nog ever been in a boring fight?

RX:  Boobies?

Danga:  Exactly.

Which Nog do you like more, not just on a personal level, but to win come Saturday night?

RX: Big Nog, all the way. First of all, because he’s fighting Frank Mir. Mir is a cerebral and articulate, and probably a great guy, but he just comes across as a pompous smarty-pants at times and people don’t like especially like him. That makes the already beloved Nogueira that much more likable on a personal level. Big Nog suffered his first stoppage loss ever to Mir three years ago (damn, has it been that long?), but i’m rolling with the “staph and injuries” story. Nogueira will be avenging that loss Saturday night. He has to. Otherwise Mir will be back in the championship hunt, and Nog will be in with Mark Hunt, and i’ll be confused and think it’s 2004 again.

Danga: Yeah, Big Nog. And don’t tell my skinny jeans that’s it’s not 2004.

Related: Little Nog is perilously close to losing three in a row, particularly if you felt that Jason Brilz deserved the decision win back at UFC 114. Would Dana cut a Nogueira?

Danga: There’s no way he’ll get cut, but do we really want to live in a world where Lil Nog is the Dan Hardy of the Light Heavyweight division? I feel icky just mentioning them both in the same sentence.

RX: Yeah, LOL j/k i’m a dumb n00b. With future plans in Brazil monster arenas and international TUF competitions, Dana will never never never never cut a Nogueira. (He will start getting lots of gatekeeper matchups, though.)

Will Canada go undefeated on the night? More importantly, what can we do to ensure Canada doesn’t go undefeated on the night?

RX: The Canucks have some tough fights on their hands, including Jabouin, Bocek (against Nik Lentz), and Claude Patrick, who matches up with the wildly unpredictable Brian Ebersole.

Danga: I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes. Bocek is better everywhere than Lentz, Patrick should be able to out grapple Ebersole, and Hominick and Jabouin are just on a different level than their opponents.

RX: I’ll say no, but it’s too close for comfort. We need to get an American agent up there for the weigh-ins to tempt the Canadian fighters with gummi bears and ice cream. Or poutine and Elsinore beer. Whatever it takes.

Danga: I think I know a guy who’d be more than willing.

What’s the over/under on the length of Dennis Ballman’s fight shorts?

RX: Doesn’t matter: i’ll take the over.

Danga: After the beating he took from both Ebersole and DW for his last…let’s call it wardrobe malfunction, I’m thinking Hallman makes his way to the octagon in snow pants, only to reveal a pair of Shinya Aoki/Karmaatemycat-esque pair of what I refer to as “the fighter’s Long Johns” for the fight itself. I’ve already thought too much about this…so how bout that Brittney Palmer?

RX: I wouldn’t be surprised if Hallman showed up in a burka. As a matter of fact, If Hallman wears anything less than knee-length board shorts in the cage, *i’ll* put on a Training Mask mankini.

Danga: Thanks, I totally didn’t want to eat any lunch today, anyway.

RX: Sorry, bro. Hey, how come Carmen Valentina hates you so much?

Danga: Three words: Prom dumpster baby.

If you feel there were some topics we missed, or have any inquiries for future debates, let us know in the comments section.