The hope of a Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos superfight in the UFC may have just gone up in smoke, for good this time. According to Cyborg’s manager — a bespectacled fellow by the name of Tito “The Brain” Ortiz — the formerly-feared Brazilian striker has officially refused to drop to 135 pounds to compete in the Octagon, and she’ll now be seeking opportunities elsewhere. Here’s what Ortiz had to say last night on Inside MMA:
Right now, we’re actually waiting for [the] UFC to release [Cyborg]. We asked for them to release her, so Dana White actually talked to me yesterday. They gave an offer, I went to Cyborg and she said she didn’t want to do it—and we just asked for her release.
Since [the UFC] isn’t doing a 145-pound weight class, what else can they do? Now, she’s going to be released. Maybe we’ll go look somewhere else and you can see Cyborg crush another woman’s face in.
As Ortiz tells it, Cyborg was willing to drop to 140 to meet Rousey at a catchweight — though not until her fourth fight in the UFC for some reason — but cutting an additional five pounds would be physically impossible for Cyborg, and the UFC didn’t want to budge on the point. (Women carry less water-weight, and can’t cut as much weight as men, Dr. Ortiz explained.) Now, the only female MMA superfight available isn’t happening, which is also a serious blow for the future of women’s MMA in the UFC. How long will fans care about a division that only features one star?
The hope of a Ronda Rousey vs. Cristiane “Cris Cyborg” Santos superfight in the UFC may have just gone up in smoke, for good this time. According to Cyborg’s manager — a bespectacled fellow by the name of Tito “The Brain“ Ortiz — the formerly-feared Brazilian striker has officially refused to drop to 135 pounds to compete in the Octagon, and she’ll now be seeking opportunities elsewhere. Here’s what Ortiz had to say last night on Inside MMA:
Right now, we’re actually waiting for [the] UFC to release [Cyborg]. We asked for them to release her, so Dana White actually talked to me yesterday. They gave an offer, I went to Cyborg and she said she didn’t want to do it—and we just asked for her release.
Since [the UFC] isn’t doing a 145-pound weight class, what else can they do? Now, she’s going to be released. Maybe we’ll go look somewhere else and you can see Cyborg crush another woman’s face in.
As Ortiz tells it, Cyborg was willing to drop to 140 to meet Rousey at a catchweight — though not until her fourth fight in the UFC for some reason — but cutting an additional five pounds would be physically impossible for Cyborg, and the UFC didn’t want to budge on the point. (Women carry less water-weight, and can’t cut as much weight as men, Dr. Ortiz explained.) Now, the only female MMA superfight available isn’t happening, which is also a serious blow for the future of women’s MMA in the UFC. How long will fans care about a division that only features one star?
Thus far, we’ve generally sided with Rousey in her weight dispute with Cyborg. After all, Cyborg is the one coming back from a drug suspension, and has no authority to make demands on the champion, who happens to be the only reason that the UFC has a female division. But should the UFC have tried harder to make sure this match came together? Sure, 140 pounds is not a real weight class. But Rousey vs. Cyborg is a real fight.
The last time we saw Anderson Silva’s manager Ed Soares, he was telling Inside MMA — with a straight face! — that Michael Bisping would be a good option for Silva’s next middleweight title defense. After all, it’s Soares’s job to help his client get big fights that the fans want to see. (His response when Bas Rutten suggested that Anderson fight UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones: “AhhhhhhIdunno.”)
So now that Bisping has fallen short in yet another “win this one and you get a title shot” match, Soares finally has to accept the reality that Chris Weidman is the most worthy contender to Silva’s crown, right? Right? RIGHT? Well, if you believe that, then you simply don’t know the enigma that is Ed Soares. He’s got another Plan B in mind, and it’s about as left-field as matchmaking gets. Here’s what he told CageFanatic in an interview last week, as transcribed by MMAMania:
“(Silva’s next fight) is still up in the air man, we don’t know who that is. Unfortunately Bisping lost which was a big thing but I’m not too sure. I’m not too sure who could be next…we want to fight someone who has a little bit of a name, someone that has as big of a name as possible and that’s on a winning record or a winning run right now. Right now it seems like most of the guys with names have had losses very recently. So, when I think about it, like the only thing that comes to mind and I don’t even know if that would be a possible fight is, you know, like Cung Le is coming off of three wins or something like that [Ed. note: Yeah, or something like that.] where he’s got a little bit of a name, but I mean it’s really hard in that division because it’s so evenly matched all the opponents on any given day one of those guys can beat each other, so you know, once again whoever the UFC decided we’re in…
The last time we saw Anderson Silva’s manager Ed Soares, he was telling Inside MMA — with a straight face! — that Michael Bisping would be a good option for Silva’s next middleweight title defense. After all, it’s Soares’s job to help his client get big fights that the fans want to see. (His response when Bas Rutten suggested that Anderson fight UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones: “AhhhhhhIdunno.”)
So now that Bisping has fallen short in yet another “win this one and you get a title shot” match, Soares finally has to accept the reality that Chris Weidman is the most worthy contender to Silva’s crown, right? Right? RIGHT? Well, if you believe that, then you simply don’t know the enigma that is Ed Soares. He’s got another Plan B in mind, and it’s about as left-field as matchmaking gets. Here’s what he told CageFanatic in an interview last week, as transcribed by MMAMania:
“(Silva’s next fight) is still up in the air man, we don’t know who that is. Unfortunately Bisping lost which was a big thing but I’m not too sure. I’m not too sure who could be next…we want to fight someone who has a little bit of a name, someone that has as big of a name as possible and that’s on a winning record or a winning run right now. Right now it seems like most of the guys with names have had losses very recently. So, when I think about it, like the only thing that comes to mind and I don’t even know if that would be a possible fight is, you know, like Cung Le is coming off of three wins or something like that [Ed. note: Yeah, or something like that.] where he’s got a little bit of a name, but I mean it’s really hard in that division because it’s so evenly matched all the opponents on any given day one of those guys can beat each other, so you know, once again whoever the UFC decided we’re in…
Soares went on to reiterate the Silva camp’s old claim that Chris Weidman simply isn’t famous enough to fight Anderson Silva:
“I don’t think Anderson has anything to gain from that fight other than beating a super tough, unknown guy. He’s a phenomenal talent and no disrespect to his fighting abilities, but we would like to fight somebody with a little more recognition and maybe Weidman is maybe a fight or two away, you know what I mean? In hopefully building up that, you know, his following a little bit. What is there to gain from us to beat him? Really, I mean I ask you what is there for us to beat him? He’s going into that fight, most people, the general public are like ‘Oh Anderson is just fighting some guy named Weidman from New York, you know, he’s going to walk through him.’ So, if he doesn’t walk through him, there’s really nothing to gain other than another win and money in his pocket…Ask random people that watch the sport and ask them who Chris Weidman is and see what percentage will know who he is.”
To summarize: Cung Le is the best opponent for Anderson right now because hypothetically he would sell more pay-per-view buys than Chris Weidman, even though, come on, are you fucking serious Ed? You can’t even use the “nobody else asked for it” defense for this one, because Weidman wants this fight badly, and he’ll be ready to go by this spring. Luckily, Dana White has stepped in as the voice of reason:
“This is typical Anderson Silva-Ed Soares craziness. Every (expletive) time there’s a fight. He wants to fight (Demetrious) ‘Mighty Mouse’ Johnson, then he wants to (expletive) fight this guy and that guy. This is always the same deal, it always happens. ‘I absolutely will not fight Chael Sonnen, he doesn’t deserve the title and I’m not doing this and I’m not doing that.’ This is what we do. We’re waiting on something, we’ll see if this pans out. When we’re ready to announce it, we’ll announce it. He will defend his title; it won’t be a super fight.”
It’s good to know that we’re not the only ones growing weary of Soares’s fun little “suggestions” for who Anderson Silva should beat the crap out of next. But not only are Soares and Jorge Guimaraes‘s public matchmaking attempts frustrating to those of us who want to see the best fight the best — removed from all financial motivations — they also do a disservice to Anderson Silva. When Silva’s managers constantly argue that Chris Weidman isn’t worthy of a title shot, many fans come to the same conclusion: That Silva is scared of Weidman, and is ducking him as a result. It might not be accurate, but it’s public perception nonetheless, and you can blame Soares and Guimaraes for that.
The problem with an MMA manager speaking on behalf of his client is that it’s inevitable that his own agenda will be incorporated into the message. And at times, Ed Soares has blatantly misrepresented Silva. But since Soares is the one speaking to the media most of the time, his message is the one that dominates. So here’s our decree: Anderson Silva’s managers should do all their dealings behind-the-scenes and off-camera, from now on. When Anderson wants to express something to the media, he should do it personally, through an interpreter, if necessary — one who will actually translate what he’s saying. Everything else is just noise.
“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*
Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.
Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.
“They said they’d stand in front of me so we could exchange blind haymakers, and that we’d go to Arby’s after the fight…but then they started wrestling me, and they all went to Subway afterwards and didn’t even invite me!” *sobs*
Today is a new day, which means Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson has new shit to complain about. You know the drill by now: The guy who made over $15 million in eleven UFC fights feels he isn’t being treated fairly, and needs the entire world to know how difficult it is to be Rampage. I guess I’d be mad too if my shoes were so ugly, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying to hear him constantly play the victim.
Last week, Rampage decided to vent about the unfair treatment he received from Mike Dolce. Yep, the same Mike Dolce who hasn’t even worked with Jackson in over two years. The same Mike Dolce who helped Rampage cut 45 pounds in only eight weeks, saving Rampage the embarrassment of being overweight for his fight against Rashad Evans. That Mike Dolce.
Dolce addressed Rampage’s comments about him over at BloodyElbow, and his version of the events plays out exactly as you’re assuming it does: Rampage feels he is the victim because Mike made him eat vegetables and didn’t want him to be such a fatass. You know, he was doing that thing that Rampage hired him to do. Clearly, Jackson’s tendencies to balloon up to 250+ pounds in between fights and not even try to take his career seriously are not at all to blame here, because that would imply that Rampage isn’t so much “the victim” as he is a whiner with a persecution complex.
I’d offer more insight here, but frankly, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones said all that needs to be said about Rampage in general on Wednesday’s edition of The Opie & Anthony Show, alongside fellow TUF coach Chael Sonnen:
If you’re only interested in Jones’ comments on Rampage, skip to the 5:05 mark, but know that you’re missing one hell of a segment.
“He’s a wuss. He has this tough guy persona, but he complains about anything that doesn’t go in his favor. ‘Oh, my contract. Oh, he wants to take me down, that’s not real fighting.’ He is such a baby,” said Jones. Something tells me that even the most stubborn Bones haters are nodding their heads in agreement right now.
Maybe it’s just me, but my apathy for all the stupid, knock-off, hybrid MMA sports that have been created in the past few years has reached levels I previously thought unimaginable. Less than a year ago, I would have come across something as — for lack of a better word — retarded as Footbrawl and immediately launched into a three to five hundred word diatribe in which I explained to you exactly how retarded something like Footbrawl truly is. I would have pointed out that, sure, grappling is cool, but it loses some of its luster (or at least its practicality) when two men holding American Gladiator-style jousting sticks repeatedly doink you from above. That last sentence is only gay if you are.
Furthermore, I would have relentlessly mocked the minds behind this sportbortion for daring to combine Ultimate Ball and Jiu-Jitsu with the God’s honest intent of entertainment. I would have waxed poetic about a sport that, when carried out, most closely resembles a Plutonian laundromat riot circa 2033. But the XARM’s, the Wheeled Warriors, and the Warrior Islands of the past few years have all but completely desensitized me to the stupidity of humankind. And this shit doesn’t even have a Tater Williams.
So I beg of you, Potato Nation, to pick up where I have failed in the comments section. Trash this sport. Trash the ever-loving hell out of it.
(Just so we don’t come across as completely negative, a cheers is in order for whoever decided upon using Rage Against the Machine for background music. And that’s where the compliments stop.)
Maybe it’s just me, but my apathy for all the stupid, knock-off, hybrid MMA sports that have been created in the past few years has reached levels I previously thought unimaginable. Less than a year ago, I would have come across something as — for lack of a better word — retarded as Footbrawl and immediately launched into a three to five hundred word diatribe in which I explained to you exactly how retarded something like Footbrawl truly is. I would have pointed out that, sure, grappling is cool, but it loses some of its luster (or at least its practicality) when two men holding American Gladiator-style jousting sticks repeatedly doink you from above. That last sentence is only gay if you are.
Furthermore, I would have relentlessly mocked the minds behind this sportbortion for daring to combine Ultimate Ball and Jiu-Jitsu with the God’s honest intent of entertainment. I would have waxed poetic about a sport that, when carried out, most closely resembles a Plutonian laundromat riot circa 2033. But the XARM’s, the Wheeled Warriors, and the Warrior Islands of the past few years have all but completely desensitized me to the stupidity of humankind. And this shit doesn’t even have a Tater Williams.
So I beg of you, Potato Nation, to pick up where I have failed in the comments section. Trash this sport. Trash the ever-loving hell out of it. Trash it until someone claiming to be the CEO of Footbrawl is forced to defend the sport via several poorly-written comments. Hell, trash me for even recognizing its existence. And when you’re through with that, trash the Jets for sucking so bad at everything, because fuck ‘em. Several sources have declared the CP comments section to be “the cesspool of the MMA world,” so let’s see if we can lower that bar from “cesspool” to “AIDS-infested shithole” with this article. Make me proud, ladies and gents.
I grew up in a town that was and still is 99% Caucasian. For whatever reason, I used to tan incredibly easy when I was growing up, to the point that if I held the refrigerator door open for too long, my face would look like Enrique Iglesias’ ass. And because I was apparently one of the only people in town whose skin possessed melanin, I was often the butt of jokes involving milkmen sleeping with my mother, my ability to jump more than four inches off the ground, and so on and so forth. I’m not looking for sympathy, but suffice it to say, I’ve had to deal with more misguided racism in my day than the average white guy and often had no clue how to deal with it.
Which brings us to Pat Barry, who some of you might not know is half black. If that revelation shatters your entire perception of Barry as a human being, then you are likely the garbage-ass hooley hoo floor turd known as “Jake,” who recently sent the above message to Barry on Youtube. What starts off as a simple statement of newfound understanding quickly takes a left turn to Deliveranceville, ‘Murica when this “Jake” starts dropping racial slurs like they were his cousins underpants at the family kegger-orgy, all the while assessing Barry’s skills as a fighter in an effort to, I don’t know, maintain his credibility as an MMA fan? As if to say, “You BETTER BELIEVE that if I didn’t have all of this hate in my heart, I’d be hosting MMA Live.”
In either case, Barry actually chose to respond to the troll and more or less laid out a gameplan for how to deal with racism that combines equal parts CAPS LOCK HAL and Richard Pryor to hilarious effect.
A photo of his response is after the jump.
I grew up in a town that was and still is 99% Caucasian. For whatever reason, I used to tan incredibly easy when I was growing up, to the point that if I held the refrigerator door open for too long, my face would look like Enrique Iglesias’ ass. And because I was apparently one of the only people in town whose skin possessed melanin, I was often the butt of jokes involving milkmen sleeping with my mother, my ability to jump more than four inches off the ground, and so on and so forth. I’m not looking for sympathy, but suffice it to say, I’ve had to deal with more misguided racism in my day than the average white guy and often had no clue how to deal with it.
Which brings us to Pat Barry, who some of you might not know is half black. If that revelation shatters your entire perception of Barry as a human being, then you are likely the garbage-ass hooley hoo floor turd known as “Jake,” who recently sent the above message to Barry on Youtube. What starts off as a simple statement of newfound understanding quickly takes a left turn to Deliveranceville, ‘Murica when this “Jake” starts dropping racial slurs like they were his cousins underpants at the family kegger-orgy, all the while assessing Barry’s skills as a fighter in an effort to, I don’t know, maintain his credibility as an MMA fan? As if to say, “You BETTER BELIEVE that if I didn’t have all this hate inside my heart, I’d be hosting MMA Live.”
In either case, Barry actually chose to respond to the troll and more or less laid out a gameplan for how to deal with racism that combines equal parts CAPS LOCK HAL and Richard Pryor to hilarious effect.
Did anyone else picture Barry standing in front of Jake’s gene-deficient family while reading this off a note card?
“Cletus, you’re a needle-dicked diabetic and you crush your wife during sex. BOOM! Roasted.”
“Pearl, you smell like rancid mayonnaise and treat abortions like they were haircuts. BOOM! Roasted.”
And is it just me, or did the whole Barry/Jake exchange sound incredibly familiar? It’s almost as if I’ve heard it…somewhere…before…
Oh yeah, now it’s all coming back to me. No wonder why I only sleep with Asian women; it’s because I just care so damn much about the environment and stuff. CURSE THESE CONVICTIONS OF MINE!!
(And another thing that bugs me about the guy is his insistence on using curse words so often. It’s like, for fuck’s sake Bob, our fucking children are watching this shit.)
When it comes to picking sides in a fight between Dana White and Bob Arum, it often feels like we’re simply choosing the lesser of two evils. Don’t get us wrong, aside from his stance on marijuana in combat sports, Bob Arum comes off as a chode for the most part, especially when he decides to open his mouth about how MMA fans are all a bunch of homosexual skinhead racists. But every now and again, The Baldfather says something so pants-shittingly stupid and drenched in irony that it makes us wonder whether or not he has been completely blinded by his own power. Take the following for example, in which DW calls Arum “the dumbest promoter in the history of the world” for allowing Manny Pacquiao to fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time:
Dumbest fight in history. Bob Arum is a moron. You don’t take that fight, you idiot. Why would you do that fight? It’s all about the money, that’s why. That was a money fight, that’s what that fight was done for. He should have fought Bradley. Bradley’s the fight they should have done. He would have knocked Bradley out, he would have got his belt back and now he’s back in the position he should have been in. [Pacquiao’s] one of the best fighters in the world. He goes out and fights Marquez again? Bob Arum is the dumbest promoter in the history of the world.
Right…but Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen and Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz are somehow not “money fights.” In case you’re wondering, this is where I’d normally insert a Scanners headsplosion gif, but I’m too busy trying to nurse the puppy I just kicked after reading this quote back to life.
(And another thing that bugs me about the guy is his insistence on using curse words so often. It’s like, for fuck’s sake Bob, our fucking children are watching this shit.)
When it comes to picking sides in a fight between Dana White and Bob Arum, it often feels like we’re simply choosing the lesser of two evils. Don’t get us wrong, aside from his stance on marijuana in combat sports, Bob Arum comes off as a chode for the most part, especially when he decides to open his mouth about how MMA fans are all a bunch of homosexual skinhead racists. But every now and again, The Baldfather says something so pants-shittingly stupid and drenched in irony that it makes us wonder whether or not he has been completely blinded by his own power. Take the following for example, in which DW calls Arum “the dumbest promoter in the history of the world” for allowing Manny Pacquiao to fight Juan Manuel Marquez a fourth time:
Dumbest fight in history. Bob Arum is a moron. You don’t take that fight, you idiot. Why would you do that fight? It’s all about the money, that’s why. That was a money fight, that’s what that fight was done for. He should have fought Bradley. Bradley’s the fight they should have done. He would have knocked Bradley out, he would have got his belt back and now he’s back in the position he should have been in. [Pacquiao’s] one of the best fighters in the world. He goes out and fights Marquez again? Bob Arum is the dumbest promoter in the history of the world.
Right…but Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen and Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz are somehow not “money fights.” PLEASE Dana, go on about how Chael “Coming off a loss and hasn’t fought at LHW since 2005″ Sonnen vs. the most dominant LHW champion since Chuck Liddell is something other than a money fight. Or how the man coming off both a loss and a marijuana suspension who threw away his first opportunity to fight the champ vs. said champ is just matchmaking 101. Because, as we all know, Jones and Sonnen (or GSP and Diaz for that matter) have fought to three incredibly close decisions before and there was a public outcry for some closure. WAIT A MINUTE, NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. Pot, meet kettle.
Meanwhile, Mark Sanchez has been quoted as saying that Tim Tebow “Needs to learn how to throw the fucking football to right team.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go correct someone on their grammatically incorrect blog post.
