Tag: Marius Zaromskis

Bellator 119 a Success but Storm Clouds Gather for PPV Prospects


(Via Brian J. D’Souza)

By Brian J. D’Souza

Last night, Bellator 119 was held at Casino Rama in Orillia, a sleepy town about two hours north of Toronto. By some standards, the show was a success—it featured performances by a talented, well-matched card punctuated with Daniel Weichel (33-8) finishing Desmond Green (11-2) via rear naked choke in the second round of the featherweight tournament finale. It was the type of mid-level show that has proved financially sustainable in the gritty dog-eat-dog world of MMA promotions. Regardless of sweeping reports from Sherdog.com and MMAFighting.com that Eddie Alvarez is pulling out of the inaugural Bellator pay-per-view show next week (reports that Bjorn Rebney denied at the post-fight presser), the promotion’soverall prospects for expansion are limited.

On the undercard of Bellator 119, Brazilian featherweight Marlon Sandro faced London, Ontario native Chris Horodecki. Sandro controlled the pace, committing to his strikes and dominating Horodecki to earn the judge’s decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27). At the post-fight presser, Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney explained reasons why the bout was intentionally hidden among the untelevised preliminary bouts:

“Ran into some difficult contract situations that came to light in the last 24-48 hours before the fight…we all felt it was a better decision to keep the [Sandro-Horodecki] fight off TV and not exacerbate a bad situation,” said Rebney. “We got a lot of claims coming in from other camps that were claiming an interest in Chris Horodecki. We didn’t want to put him in a horrible spot of receiving a big lawsuit.”

Chris Horodecki has fought in three separate promotions since his last three-fight Bellator stint. If he is still under contract to another promotion, Horodecki needs to question his management for placing him in the precarious lose-lose position of limited exposure and shortchanging Bellator’s TV product.


(Via Brian J. D’Souza)

By Brian J. D’Souza

Last night, Bellator 119 was held at Casino Rama in Orillia, a sleepy town about two hours north of Toronto. By some standards, the show was a success—it featured performances by a talented, well-matched card punctuated with Daniel Weichel (33-8) finishing Desmond Green (11-2) via rear naked choke in the second round of the featherweight tournament finale. It was the type of mid-level show that has proved financially sustainable in the gritty dog-eat-dog world of MMA promotions. Regardless of sweeping reports from Sherdog.com and MMAFighting.com that Eddie Alvarez is pulling out of the inaugural Bellator pay-per-view show next week (reports that Bjorn Rebney denied at the post-fight presser), the promotion’s overall prospects for expansion are limited.

On the undercard of Bellator 119, Brazilian featherweight Marlon Sandro faced London, Ontario native Chris Horodecki. Sandro controlled the pace, committing to his strikes and dominating Horodecki to earn the judge’s decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27). At the post-fight presser, Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney explained reasons why the bout was intentionally hidden among the untelevised preliminary bouts:

“Ran into some difficult contract situations that came to light in the last 24-48 hours before the fight…we all felt it was a better decision to keep the [Sandro-Horodecki] fight off TV and not exacerbate a bad situation,” said Rebney. “We got a lot of claims coming in from other camps that were claiming an interest in Chris Horodecki. We didn’t want to put him in a horrible spot of receiving a big lawsuit.”

Chris Horodecki has fought in three separate promotions since his last three-fight Bellator stint. If he is still under contract to another promotion, Horodecki needs to question his management for placing him in the precarious lose-lose position of limited exposure and shortchanging Bellator’s TV product.

Heavyweights Raphael Butler and Nick Rossborough started with a bang and finished with both men out of gas. Butler intentionally fouled Rossborough with a head butt in the first round when Rossborough had Butler’s back. The ref took a point and restarted them on the feet; Butler took control from there onwards, clearly winning the final two rounds. After the fight, Rossborough claimed to have no memory of what transpired after the head butt; the judges scored the fight 28-27, 28-28 and 28-28 making it a majority draw.

In the other televised bouts, Marius Zaromskis low-kicked Canadian Vaughn Anderson’s leg into hamburger en route to a decision win; Canadian John Alessio used his veteran experience to outwrestle Eric Wisely and grind out a decision win.

For all the skill on display, Bellator has a ceiling in terms of how successful the promotion can become as its homegrown talent is handicapped in terms of perception and marketability. For instance, the May 17 pay per view relies heavily on UFC veterans Quinton Jackson and Tito Ortiz. If Eddie Alvarez fulfills the final fight on his Bellator contract when he recovers from his concussion and is signed to the UFC, he may prove himself equally skilled or superior to UFC lightweights; Bellator would win a moral victory but that wouldn’t necessarily translate into higher viewership for Bellator lightweights like Michael Chandler.

To become a player in the pay per view market, Bellator needs to sign UFC stars at the zenith of their popularity like Jon Jones, Ronda Rousey or Nick Diaz. Assuming Viacom would pony up the scratch, standard contractual language like the 12-month matching clause poses a tremendous problem. When Bellator attempted to acquire Gilbert Melendez, all the UFC had to do was outbid Bellator once and Melendez became UFC property once again.

“God bless Gilbert Melendez, we made him a very rich man,” claimed Rebney. “We made him an offer. The matching clause is in place, he is now the highest paid lightweight the UFC has—[and] one of the highest paid fighters the UFC has fighting in any division.”

Strategically, the UFC will continue to sign its marquee fighters to long-term contracts and match any offers made to their most marketable fighters in order to retain the dominant market position.

Still, Rebney is optimistic about Bellator’s offerings for its first pay per view show, “I think people need to look at it in the context of a fighting event, and not think about branding.”

In fact, the strength of the UFC brand is part of why the promotion remains content to offer an increasingly watered-down product with an escalating frequency of shows. However, some fans are getting wise to the game and are becoming increasingly critical; the UFC has no reason to change unless said fans vote with their pocketbooks.

If Bellator gets its first PPV card off the ground despite Alvarez’s injury and somehow manages to land near the break-even point, future shows will have to be cobbled together using a mix of former UFC fighters and homegrown talent. Throughout this, Bellator will need to stop the UFC from poaching their brightest stars, as was the strategy when Eddie Alvarez attempted to sign with the UFC and Bellator invoked their right to match the offer.

All in all, there’s a lot to be considered for the long-term health of the sport. Having a second major promotion would benefit the industry in every way imaginable, but whether Bellator can survive business forces long enough to be a contender remains a topic for debate.

***
Brian J. D’Souza is the author of the critically acclaimed book Pound for Pound: The Modern Gladiators of Mixed Martial Arts. You can check out an excerpt right here.

Bellator 86 Recap: Askren Finishes (!) Amoussou, King Mo Squashes Other Dude, Fancy Flips Can’t Save Zaromskis


(Sorry Ben, I don’t think we can count those as “significant strikes.” GIF via ZombieProphet/BloodyElbow)

For the first time since his controversial technical submission of Ryan Thomas during his Bellator debut three years ago, Ben Askren has finished an opponent. Sure, it was one of those sort-of-assisted finishes where the doctor steps in between rounds to wave the fight off, but let’s not take anything anything away from Funky Ben, here: The undefeated Bellator welterweight champion smashed the living dog-poop out of Karl Amoussou for three full rounds last night, and might have permanently injured him had the fight gone on any longer.

It was a prototypical performance from Askren, who spent most of the fight on top of Amoussou, throwing down punches and elbows. Still, there seemed to be a greater sense of urgency from the champ in this fight, a little more intention with his strikes. He slashed open a cut above Amoussou’s eye with an elbow in the first round, and by the end of round three, Amoussou’s left eye was swollen shut and his face was a wet canvas of blood. The fight was mercifully stopped before the fourth round could begin, giving Askren a well-deserved TKO victory.

“I told you guys that it was just a matter of time before my hands got some power in them,” Askren said after the fight. “I dominate positionally, and my hands [have] power too. Welterweights anywhere in the world better watch out, I’m coming.” Askren’s next challenge will likely be the winner of this season’s welterweight tournament, which produced four semifinalists last night…


(Sorry Ben, I don’t think we can count those as “significant strikes.” GIF via ZombieProphet/BloodyElbow)

For the first time since his controversial technical submission of Ryan Thomas during his Bellator debut three years ago, Ben Askren has finished an opponent. Sure, it was one of those sort-of-assisted finishes where the doctor steps in between rounds to wave the fight off, but let’s not take anything anything away from Funky Ben, here: The undefeated Bellator welterweight champion smashed the living dog-poop out of Karl Amoussou for three full rounds last night, and might have permanently injured him had the fight gone on any longer.

It was a prototypical performance from Askren, who spent most of the fight on top of Amoussou, throwing down punches and elbows. Still, there seemed to be a greater sense of urgency from the champ in this fight, a little more intention with his strikes. He slashed open a cut above Amoussou’s eye with an elbow in the first round, and by the end of round three, Amoussou’s left eye was swollen shut and his face was a wet canvas of blood. The fight was mercifully stopped before the fourth round could begin, giving Askren a well-deserved TKO victory.

“I told you guys that it was just a matter of time before my hands got some power in them,” Askren said after the fight. “I dominate positionally, and my hands [have] power too. Welterweights anywhere in the world better watch out, I’m coming.” Askren’s next challenge will likely be the winner of this season’s welterweight tournament, which produced four semifinalists last night…

Douglas Lima used a series of savage leg kicks to chop down Michail “The Lonely Wolf” Tsarev, forcing a stoppage in the second round. Though Lima looks like a favorite to win the welterweight bracket — again — he’s already suffered a loss to Ben Askren, during their title fight last year. Also on the main card, Ben Saunders out-grappled, out-struck, and out-classed Bellator newcomer Koffi Adzitso, winning all three rounds on the judges scorecards.

Two other welterweight tournament bouts were relegated to the prelims: Raul Amaya scored a first-round TKO against Jose Gomes, while Marius Zaromskis continues to under-perform in the U.S., losing a unanimous decision to Brett Weedman. Zaromskis was docked a point in round three for a pair of blatantly illegal knees (not cool, bro). On the bright side, he added a couple more completely absurd somersault moves to his highlight reel:

Finally, the Mo’-ment we’d all been waiting for — DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? DO YOU SEE IT?? — Muhammad Lawal‘s light-heavyweight quarterfinal bout against Przemyslaw “Don’t Bother Learning How to Pronounce This Name” Mysiala was even more lopsided than we thought it would be. Lawal’s training at the Mayweather gym was fully evident, as he lit up Mysiala with jabs thrown from Money May’s loved/loathed “Philly shell” stance. I can’t recall if Mysiala landed a single punch. It honestly looked like Mo was having a sparring session with an inanimate object.

After bloodying up the hapless Pole’s face with his precision striking, Lawal ended the match with a short counter-right that turned Mysiala’s brain off. After the fight, Lawal explained that his gameplan was to knock Mysiala out, and his strategy in the tournament is to knock everybody out. Alright…no need to complicate things, I guess. He’ll now face Emanuel Newton in the light-heavyweight tournament semi-finals.

Complete Bellator 86 Results

MAIN CARD
– Ben Askren def. Karl Amoussou via TKO (doctor stoppage), 5:00 of round 3
– Muhammed Lawal def. Przemyslaw Mysiala via KO, 3:52 of round 1
– Douglas Lima def. Michail Tsarev via TKO (leg kicks), 1:44 of round 2
– Ben Saunders def. Koffi Adzitso via unanimous decision (30-27 x 3)

PRELIMINARY CARD
– Hunter Tucker def. Javier Obregon via submission (guillotine choke), 3:17 of round 2
– Jason Sampson def. Chris Pham via submission (armbar), 4:55 of round 3
– Brent Weedman def. Marius Zaromskis via unanimous decision (29-27 x 3)
– Raul Amaya def. Jose Gomes via TKO, 3:12 of round 1
– Damon Jackson def. Zach Church via submission (rear-naked choke), 2:43 of round 2
– Cortez Coleman def. Matt Jones via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)

A bout between Mike Maldonado and Jospeh Salas was cancelled due to time constraints

Bellator Debuts in Michigan on Nov 30, Good-Koreshkov Tournament Final Headlines

Bellator has had shows in Midwestern states such as Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. You can now add Michigan to the list. The promotion announced earlier today that Bellator 82 will be taking place on November 30 from The Soaring Eagle Casino &am…

Bellator has had shows in Midwestern states such as Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. You can now add Michigan to the list.

The promotion announced earlier today that Bellator 82 will be taking place on November 30 from The Soaring Eagle Casino & Resort in Mount Pleasant, Michigan.

A main event for the card has been announced, with their welterweight tournament final featuring Season 1 tournament winner and former Bellator Welterweight Champion Lyman Good squaring off against the undefeated Andrey Koreshkov. The winner will receive a guaranteed welterweight title shot and $100,000 in total tournament winnings. The main card airs on MTV2 with the prelims airing on Spike.com.

Good, who won his first round fight with a unanimous decision victory over Jim Wallhead, advanced to the finals by knocking out Koreshkov‘s teammate Michail Tsarev at Bellator 78 last Friday.

Koreshkov posted a unanimous decision victory over Jordan Smith in the opening round of the tournament, then advanced to welterweight tournament finals with a first round knockout of Dream Welterweight Champion Marius Zaromskis this past weekend.

The card will also be featuring two highly touted prospects making their Bellator debuts—Internet sensation Michael Page and former U.S. Olympic wrestling qualifier Shawn Bunch. Opponents have not been announced for either fighter.

You can follow me on Twitter @fightclubchi.

Read more MMA news on BleacherReport.com

Ohio Athletic Commission to Review Horrifyingly Late Stoppage of Zaromskis/Koreshkov at Bellator 78


(More frightening than anything you’ll see this Halloween. Gif courtesy of Zombie Prophet.) 

Although it was marginally overlooked in our weekend wrap-up of the event, you guys might have heard that Marius Zaromskis was nearly ground into a fine white powder by the fists of Andrey Koreshkov in their co-main event matchup at Bellator 78 this past weekend. Despite the fact that referee Jerry Poe was literally watching the action from the perfect angle, he apparently suffered a case of sudden onset blindness at the worst possible moment, allowing Koreshkov to reign down some 11 unanswered blows — which were each fight-ending power strikes in and of themselves — before calling a stop the fight. It made Josh Rosenthal’s stoppage of Chris Weidman vs. Mark Munoz look like Rick Fike’s stoppage of Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson 1. Word has it that even Steve Mazzagatti started screaming “Wake the fuck up ref!” at his television during the fight. Needless to say, people were pissed.

But we can rest assured for the time being, because Ohio Athletic Commission Executive Director Bernie Profato recently told BloodyElbow that the fight was “under review.” While we truly appreciate that notion on behalf of the fighters, we’re not exactly sure what potential punishments could arise from a review (although an attempted manslaughter charge for Poe seems appropriate) or how they could be carried out.

The problem is, we’ve seen these kinds of referee blunders go unpunished before — as will likely be the case in this instance — so it almost begs one to ask what exactly a referee has to do (or not do) in order to be held accountable for their decisions.


(More frightening than anything you’ll see this Halloween. Gif courtesy of Zombie Prophet.) 

Although it was marginally overlooked in our weekend wrap-up of the event, you guys might have heard that Marius Zaromskis was nearly ground into a fine white powder by the fists of Andrey Koreshkov in their co-main event matchup at Bellator 78 this past weekend. Despite the fact that referee Jerry Poe was literally watching the action from the perfect angle, he apparently suffered a case of sudden onset blindness at the worst possible moment, allowing Koreshkov to reign down some 11 unanswered blows — which were each fight-ending power strikes in and of themselves — before calling a stop the fight. It made Josh Rosenthal’s stoppage of Chris Weidman vs. Mark Munoz look like Rick Fike’s stoppage of Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson 1. Word has it that even Steve Mazzagatti started screaming “Wake the fuck up ref!” at his television during the fight. Needless to say, people were pissed.

But we can rest assured for the time being, because Ohio Athletic Commission Executive Director Bernie Profato recently told BloodyElbow that the fight was “under review.” While we truly appreciate that notion on behalf of the fighters, we’re not exactly sure what potential punishments could arise from a review (although an attempted manslaughter charge for Poe seems appropriate) or how they could be carried out.

The problem is, we’ve seen these kinds of referee blunders go unpunished before — as will likely be the case in this instance — so it almost begs one to ask what exactly a referee has to do (or not do) in order to be held accountable for their decisions. Reffing a fight is no easy task and requires a level of split-second decision making that most people are simply not capable of making. The argument over what constitutes a “correct” stoppage is solid in theory, but often comes under fire when actually applied in the cage.

Just take the Brock Lesnar/Shane Carwin fight at UFC 116, for example. Was Lesnar “intelligently defending” himself after getting rocked in the first round? If you consider turtling up and trying to kick out Carwin’s ankles intelligent defense, then yes, yes he was. Josh Rosenthal, who is considered one of the best refs in the game, would agree with you. But many MMA fans or even referees for that matter probably wouldn’t. In the end, Rosenthal’s no-stoppage proved to be the “correct” decision, but again, it’s completely a matter of opinion. And with each new referee that enters the game comes a new opinion of what justifies a correct stoppage and a new set of variables.

Obviously, Poe’s flub was an extreme instance of referee subjectivity being completely off base, but dependent on whether or not the OAC decides to hold Poe accountable for his actions could mark a huge turning point in the refereeing of the sport. Because any unnecessary accumulation of blows to the head can be even more devastating to a fighter in the long run than in the immediate. Just ask Gary Goodridge.

Then again, handing out suspensions to referees for late stoppages could conversely lead to more premature stoppages than we are already used to. It’s not a problem that poses an easy solution, but the Ohio Athletic Commission’s decision could move things in the right direction to say the least.

–J. Jones

Bellator 78 Results: Good, Koreshkov Advance to Welterweight Finals

When I managed to speak to Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney after Bellator 69 in Lake Charles, Louisiana, he spoke very highly of welterweight prospect Andrey Koreshkov, who had just improved to 10-0 that evening.  The twenty-two year old Russian fighter earned a spot in this season’s welterweight tournament, where he would quietly improve to 11-0 at Bellator 74 with a unanimous decision over Jordan Smith. At last night’s Bellator 78, Koreshkov looked to make a name for himself against Marius Zaromskis in the tournament semifinals.

But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s talk about the main event of the evening. Former Bellator welterweight champion Lyman Good took the next step towards earning the title back with a second round TKO over Michail Tsarev, although he arguably could not have picked up a more unimpressive victory. This isn’t to say that Good looked bad up until that point -he didn’t – but because the stoppage was, frankly, cheap. Good accidentally poked Tsarev in the eye in the middle of the second round, causing Tsarev to turn to the referee looking for time out. It looked like the referee was about to call for a break in the action, but Lyman Good pounced on “The Lonely Wolf.” The TKO victory was awarded to Good shortly afterwards.

Video of the main event, as well as Koreshkov’s victory, is after the jump

When I managed to speak to Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney after Bellator 69 in Lake Charles, Louisiana, he spoke very highly of welterweight prospect Andrey Koreshkov, who had just improved to 10-0 that evening.  The twenty-two year old Russian fighter earned a spot in this season’s welterweight tournament, where he would quietly improve to 11-0 at Bellator 74 with a unanimous decision over Jordan Smith. At last night’s Bellator 78, Koreshkov looked to make a name for himself against Marius Zaromskis in the tournament semifinals.

But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, let’s talk about the main event of the evening. Former Bellator welterweight champion Lyman Good took the next step towards earning the title back with a second round TKO over Michail Tsarev, although he arguably could not have picked up a more unimpressive victory. This isn’t to say that Good looked bad up until that point -he didn’t – but because the stoppage was, frankly, cheap. Good accidentally poked Tsarev in the eye in the middle of the second round, causing Tsarev to turn to the referee looking for time out. It looked like the referee was about to call for a break in the action, but Lyman Good pounced on “The Lonely Wolf.” The TKO victory was awarded to Good shortly afterwards.


Good vs. Tsarev. This fight is why they say protect yourselves at all times, guys.

In the evening’s co-main event, Andrey Koreshkov lived up to his hype with a first round TKO over Marius Zaromskis. Zaromskis couldn’t find his range against the young, aggressive Russian striker, absorbing some hard punches and knees while mounting little offense of his own. Two minutes into the fight, a left hand from Koreshkov dropped Zaromskis to the mat allowing Andrey Koreshkov to drop punches to Marius’ head until the referee waived things off.

Koreshkov and Good will fight each other in the Welterweight tournament finals.


Koreshkov vs. Zaromskis

In non-tournament action, Daniel Straus returned to action last night, opting to take a warm-up fight before his featherweight title shot against the winner of the upcoming Pat Curran/Patricio Pitbull fight. While there’s a lot that can go wrong in these situations – namely the challenger loses and/or gets injured – Straus dominated his opponent, UFC veteran Alvin Robinson, on his way to a second round rear-naked choke victory. Also on the main card, Brian Rogers took to the cage for the first time since walking away from his job as a special education teacher to focus on fighting full-time. Rogers looked impressive against Dominique Steele, showing the aggression he’s known for, but also showing the patience and control he usually lacked. In the end, Rogers walked away with a unanimous decision victory.

One final note: Zoila Gurgel, the current Bellator 115-pound women’s champion who has yet to defend her title, returned to action last night on the preliminary card. In the non-title bout, Gurgel fought 4-2 fighter Casey Noland. Booking the champion in a non-title bout on the preliminary card of an event is already a pretty bad sign, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Bjorn Rebney said before the fight that he’d assess Gurgel afterward. The good news for Gurgel is that she obviously won the fight. However, it’ll be interesting to see how confident Rebney feels moving forward with Zoila Gurgel after watching her lose the first round to a 4-2 no-name fighter who was essentially brought in to lose.

Full Results:

Main Card

Lyman Good def. Michail Tsarev via TKO (strikes), 3:54 of Round Two
Andrey Koreshkov def. Marius Zaromskis via TKO (strikes), 2:14 of Round One
Daniel Straus def. Alvin Robinson via submission (rear-naked choke), 4:51 of Round Two
Brian Rogers def. Dominique Steele via unanimous decision

Preliminary Card

Zoila Gurgel def. Casey Noland via unanimous decision
Jason Butcher vs. Shaun Asher via submission (guillotine choke), 1:32 of Round One
Billy Horne def. Trey Houston via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:30 of Round One
Mikkel Parlo def. Jared Combs via TKO (strikes), 3:51 of Round One
Rob Hanna def. Rocky Edwards via split decision
Justin McNally def. David Blattman via submission (triangle choke), 0:38 of Round One

@SethFalvo

Knockout of the Day: The Somersault Axe Kick Has Finally Been Mastered

(When Bruno Carvalho told Marius Zaromskis about his secret foot fetish as a child, he never expected that it would be used against him some twenty years later.)

When you’ve followed MMA for as long as we have, you can’t help but often feel as if you’ve seen it all in terms of striking techniques in the ring. Sure, every now again some dude will nearly cartwheel kick some other dude’s face off, or springboard off the cage and almost kick some dude’s face off, but for the most part, it’s your standard display of roundhouse kicks, knees, and punches that do most of the damage come fight night (not that we’re complaining).

Until you come upon the somersault kick, that is, as demonstrated by Marius Zaromskis in the above video. You see, the somersault kick is a move so dangerous, so batshit insane, that you’d have to be high on bath salts to even consider attempting to pull it off. Hence why it was first popularized by Harold Howard and has been responsible for over 453 deaths worldwide since 1998.

So you’ll forgive us for acting a bit hysterical while delivering this news, but it appears as if someone out there was not only crazy enough to attempt this maneuver in competition on two separate occasions over the course of a month, but successfully landed the kick both times, knocking out both of his opponents in the process.

Those knockouts are after the jump.


(When Bruno Carvalho told Marius Zaromskis about his secret foot fetish as a child, he never expected that it would be used against him some twenty years later.)

When you’ve followed MMA for as long as we have, you can’t help but often feel as if you’ve seen it all in terms of striking techniques in the ring. Sure, every now again some dude will nearly cartwheel kick some other dude’s face off, or springboard off the cage and almost kick some dude’s face off, but for the most part, it’s your standard display of roundhouse kicks, knees, and punches that do most of the damage come fight night (not that we’re complaining).

Until you come upon the somersault kick, that is, as demonstrated by Marius Zaromskis in the above video. You see, the somersault kick is a move so dangerous, so batshit insane, that you’d have to be high on bath salts to even consider attempting to pull it off. Hence why it was first popularized by Harold Howard and has been responsible for over 453 deaths worldwide since 1998.

So you’ll forgive us for acting a bit hysterical while delivering this news, but it appears as if someone out there was not only crazy enough to attempt this maneuver in competition on two separate occasions over the course of a month, but successfully landed the kick both times, knocking out both of his opponents in the process.

See for yourself.

His name is Michael Balakirev. He’s Russian, obviously, because who else in their right mind would challenge death to a chess match twice?

This kick is the more gentle of the two — meaning it didn’t completely obliterate the victim’s face like Gallagher does a watermelon — and occurred at a Russian kickboxing/MMA event at the end of September. As you can see, although it is not a clean knockout, it still makes the victim go fetal before Balakirev can even land a follow up shot. It’s truly awe-inspiring, especially when you consider that just one month earlier, this 18 year old assassin pulled off an even better one…

Sir, you just got butt slammed. *cues manic monkey* 

Although you were likely caught up in the pure genius of the move (and trying to calm your half chub), rewind the video to the six second mark and pause it. Here you will see that not only did this kid attempt what we will now call “The Invincible Somersault Kick of Total Annihilation”, he was actually competent enough to grab his opponents ankle mid flip to ensure that he couldn’t back out of harm’s way. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. What was less than brilliant, however, was the ref’s insistence that the unconscious fighter walk it off before he actually could stand without assistance. Then again, the ref could have woke him up and told him to get ready for round 2.

–J. Jones