Rumble Johnson Misses Weight, Let Me Tell You How You’re Feeling Right Now

Totally Looks Like:  Sean Kingston

By now, you’ve probably heard the big news of the day:  Anthony “Hey Yo, Is That My Tummy Rumblin’?” Johnson missed weight today in historic fashion, tipping the scales at 197 pounds.  According to some research that I absolutely did not just do, twelve pounds is the most that anyone has ever blown weight anywhere ever, and you can feel free to correct me in the comments.  Vitor Belfort has agreed to fight a catchweight at 197, but has asked that Johnson weigh-in again tomorrow at no more than 205.

Now, maybe I’m not shocked by this — but damn brotato, how do you miss — how do you go UP a weight class because you have a nightmare cut at 170 and the boss has said you belong at 185, then proceed to bulk up like you got a call from Vince McMahon?  

Serious question: is Anthony Johnson dyslexic with numbers or something?  Just checking.

Totally Looks Like:  Sean Kingston

By now, you’ve probably heard the big news of the day:  Anthony “Hey Yo, Is That My Tummy Rumblin’?” Johnson missed weight today in historic fashion, tipping the scales at 197 pounds.  According to some research that I absolutely did not just do, twelve pounds is the most that anyone has ever blown weight anywhere ever, and you can feel free to correct me in the comments.  Vitor Belfort has agreed to fight a catchweight at 197, but has asked that Johnson weigh-in again tomorrow at no more than 205.

Now, maybe I’m not exactly shocked by this — but damn brotato, how do you miss … how do you go UP a weight class because you have a nightmare cut at 170 and the boss has said you belong at 185, then proceed to bulk up like you got a call from Vince McMahon?

Serious question: is Anthony Johnson dyslexic with numbers or something?  Just checking.

The downsides are all on Rumble’s side.  Dana is already going on record calling him “unprofessional”, which may be code for “black”, but in this case is actually code for “I’m going to fuck him worse than he’s ever been fucked before”.  Unless Rumble puts in a Fight of the Night-worthy performance, he will almost certainly lose his job and wind up in StrikeForce, except without their awesome salaries.

First off:  bungalow fans rejoice, because this just became a slugfest.  Johnson has to know that a methodical, grinding win will result in Dana firing him angrily during the press conference (which Johnson would not be invited to).  Johnson is going to have to use his reach and size (ha ha, get it?) to win a stand up fight with Belfort.

Belfort himself comes out of this like a champ, because he can not lose in this situation.  He’s stepping up to save the fight, which means he’ll have a job with the UFC through the next two years or four losses (whichever comes first).  Should he lose, his record will have an asterisk for all eternity that Johnson was a 250 pound roid-monster in the cage, and if he pulls out a win the internet will explode because Vitor Belfort just knocked out a heavyweight holy shit did you see that, bro!? It’s like UFC 13 again, only in Brazil.

Meanwhile Johnson loses pretty much any way you slice it.  He’ll be a visibly larger man in the cage to anyone with rods and cones to rub together, and any win he gets will be tainted.  No one is going to be particularly impressed with a quick knockout on a smaller Belfort, and if he actually tries to wrestle Belfort for a decision?

His ass will need Jesus.

 

[RX]

Video: UFC 140 Weigh-Ins

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

The weigh-ins for UFC 140 took place in Toronto this afternoon. Unfortunately, we forgot to set our watches to Canadian time, so you’ll have to settle for watching the video after the fact.

Only one fighter didn’t make weight, and since our headline spoils the surprise, you’ve probably figured out it was Dennis Hallman, who was 3.5 lbs over the 155-pound lightweight limit. He decided not to make a second attempt, which is unusual considering how close he was and will instead pay opponent John Makdessi 20 percentof his purse. By our estimation, this is “Superman’s” second strike, so if he doesn’t beat Makdessi, we may him get Miguel Torres’ed tomorrow night.

For those of you who can’t watch the vid at work, the full results are after the jump.


(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

The weigh-ins for UFC 140 took place in Toronto this afternoon. Unfortunately, we forgot to set our watches to Canadian time, so you’ll have to settle for watching the video after the fact.

If you missed the results earlier, only one fighter didn’t make weight, and since our headline spoils the surprise, you’ve probably figured out it was Dennis Hallman, who was 3.5 lbs over the 155-pound lightweight limit. He decided not to make a second attempt, which is unusual considering how close he was and will instead pay opponent John Makdessi 20 percentof his purse. By our estimation, this is “Superman’s” second strike, so if he doesn’t beat Makdessi, we may him get Miguel Torres’ed tomorrow night.

For those of you who can’t watch the vid at work, the full results are below.


(Gif courtesy of IronForgesIron)

UFC 140
Main Card (Pay-per-view)

UFC Light Heavyweight Championship Bout
Jon Jones [Champ] (205) vs. Lyoto Machida (204)
Frank Mir (260) vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (239)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (204.5) vs. Tito Ortiz (206)
Brian Ebersole (170.5) vs. Claude Patrick (171)
Mark Hominick (145) vs. Chan Sung Jung (145.5)

Preliminary Card (ION Television)
Igor Pokrajac (205) vs. Krzysztof Soszynski (206)
Jared Hamman (185) vs. Constantinos Philippou (185)
Dennis Hallman (158.5)* vs. John Makdessi (155.5)
Yves Jabouin (136) vs. Walel Watson (135.5)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
Mark Bocek (156) vs. Nik Lentz (156)
Rich Attonito (170.5) vs. Jake Hecht (170.5)
John Cholish (156) vs. Mitch Clarke (154.5)

Shocking News Week Continues: Paul Daley Misses Weight at BAMMA 7

“Missed it by this much.

Put on your surprised face, kids: Paul Daley stepped on the scales just minutes ago for his welterweight contest this weekend at BAMMA 7, and was recorded six pounds over the 170 pound limit. He has been given two hours to sweat out the remaining pounds. His opponent, Jordan Radev, came in at 170 on the first try.

At this point, Paul Daley making weight the first try would be more of a story, as this now makes the sixth time (by our count) that Semtex has tipped the scales in his own favor.

Apparently, the issue this time is a problem with sauna availability. If that excuse sounds familiar, look at you paying attention — we could just pinch your cheeks. Clearly, the UK is years behind the rest of the world in steam room technology, although you’d think they could fly in a specialized consultant from Finland or something.

CagePotato has been unable to confirm that Anthony Johnson just sent a text message to Daley, telling him to “stop eating so much (spotted) dick.”

Related: CagePotato Stats: The MMA Weigh-In Failure Leaderboard

[RX]

“Missed it by this much.

Put on your surprised face, kids:  Paul Daley stepped on the scales just minutes ago for his welterweight contest this weekend at BAMMA 7, and was recorded six pounds over the 170 pound limit.  He has been given two hours to sweat out the remaining pounds.  His opponent, Jordan Radev, came in at 170 on the first try.

At this point, Paul Daley making weight the first try would be more of a story, as this now makes the sixth time (by our count) that Semtex has tipped the scales in his own favor.

Apparently, the issue this time is a problem with sauna availability.  If that excuse sounds familiar, look at you paying attention — we could just pinch your cheeks.  Clearly, the UK is years behind the rest of the world in steam room technology, although you’d think they could fly in a specialized consultant from Finland or something.

CagePotato has been unable to confirm that Anthony Johnson just sent a text message to Daley, telling him to “stop eating so much (spotted) dick.”

Related: CagePotato Stats: The MMA Weigh-In Failure Leaderboard

[RX]

CagePotato Stats: The MMA Weigh-In Failure Leaderboard

(The moral of the story? When Gina Carano does it, it’s awesome. When Paulo Filho does it, it’s terrible. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)
Anybody can be forgiven for missing weight by a half-pound — as long as it doesn’t become a …

Gina Carano naked nude weigh-ins photos EliteXC Kobold towel
(The moral of the story? When Gina Carano does it, it’s awesome. When Paulo Filho does it, it’s terrible. / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com
)

Anybody can be forgiven for missing weight by a half-pound — as long as it doesn’t become a habit. But when an MMA fighter comes in a full four pounds heavy, as Efrain Escudero did this week for his doomed UFC Fight Night 22 bout against Charles Oliveira, it tends to raise some eyebrows. As we’ve done previously with steroid busts, we decided to catalog the worst scale-fails in MMA history, arranged by number of pounds over the limit. When the information was available, we also listed the punishments the fighters were given, along with their excuses for missing weight, which range from injuries to salt water to the dreaded "menstrual period." This is by no means a definitive list — but we’d like it be, eventually. So if you know of any other occasions where fighters missed weight by four pounds or more, or missed weight for multiple fights, please let us know in the comments section.

Nick Diaz @ EliteXC: Return of the King
Weigh-in date: 6/13/08
Weight: 169.5, 9.5 over limit
Punishment: Diaz forfeited a portion of his fight purse to his opponent, Muhsin Corbbrey.
Fight result: Diaz by third-round TKO
Excuse: After arriving in Hawaii, Diaz said he "went in the salt water and absorbed a lot of sodium or something." In Cesar Gracie’s version of the tale, Diaz got sick after accidentally ingesting the water. Nick reached out to Corbbrey when the weight-cut was looking grim, and made a deal to hold the bout at a catchweight.

Dale Hartt @ Ringside 7: No Escape
Weigh-in date: 6/17/10
Weight: 163.4 pounds, 8.4 over limit
Fight result: Hartt lost to Guillaume DeLorenzi by second-round TKO (shoulder injury)

read more