When I was watching Conor McGregor put a thorough beatdown on Max Holloway at Fight Night 26 last summer, I remember thinking to myself, “I bet this guy can fold thefuck out of some .090 calendared matt machine coated G-Print.” I used to work at a paper mill.
In any case, I was right, surprise surprise. None other than the Irish phenom himself is featured in a new Heineken ad (entitled “Irish Legend Talent Search”) alongside TV and radio broadcaster Jennifer Maguire and former rugby star Shane Byrne, showcasing his hidden skills as an origamist. If the ad is to be believed, McGregor has apparently spent most of the down time he’s had since tearing his ACL last August folding origami swans (also, calling Diego Sanchez a “fatty”). A noble pursuit if there ever was one.
When I was watching Conor McGregor put a thorough beatdown on Max Holloway at Fight Night 26 last summer, I remember thinking to myself, “I bet this guy can fold thefuck out of some .090 calendared matt machine coated G-Print.” I used to work at a paper mill.
In any case, I was right, surprise surprise. None other than the Irish phenom himself is featured in a new Heineken ad (entitled “Irish Legend Talent Search”) alongside TV and radio broadcaster Jennifer Maguire and former rugby star Shane Byrne, showcasing his hidden skills as an origamist. If the ad is to be believed, McGregor has apparently spent most of the down time he’s had since tearing his ACL last August folding origami swans (also, calling Diego Sanchez a “fatty”). A noble pursuit if there ever was one.
(Fedor, seen here seconds before appearing in the most famous MMA sex tape of all time: “Two Scoops, One Emperor”)
Just a few weeks out from what could be his last fight as a mixed martial artist(Author’s note: I just held back vomit whilst typing that.), Russian demigod Fedor Emelianenko recently popped up in a Mercedes-Benz commercial, if only for a few seconds of ultra slo-mo glory. For some reason, the creative talent in charge of said commercial thought it would be cooler for Fedor to don a tuxedo rather than his Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, which is as big a travesty as anything we’ve ever seen in the five years we’ve been in existence. Not since Overeem/Dos Santos has such an opportunity been squandered, so shame on you, Mercedes-Benz. Looks like our company car is going to be a Ferrari next year.
Check out the ad and let us know whether or not you will be boycotting Mercedes-Benz for this glaring oversight along with us.
They had us until they tried to pass off diving as a sport. Like we all don’t know it’s just falling with style. Just ask Jason Statham.
(Fedor, seen here seconds before appearing in the most famous MMA sex tape of all time: “Two Scoops, One Emperor”)
Just a few weeks out from what could be his last fight as a mixed martial artist(Author’s note: I just held back vomit whilst typing that.), Russian demigod Fedor Emelianenko recently popped up in a Mercedes-Benz commercial, if only for a few seconds of ultra slo-mo glory. For some reason, the creative talent in charge of said commercial thought it would be cooler for Fedor to don a tuxedo rather than his Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory, which is as big a travesty as anything we’ve ever seen in the five years we’ve been in existence. Not since Overeem/Dos Santos has such an opportunity been squandered, so shame on you, Mercedes-Benz. Looks like our company car is going to be a Ferrari next year.
Check out the ad and let us know whether or not you will be boycotting Mercedes-Benz for this glaring oversight along with us.
They had us until they tried to pass off diving as a sport. Like we all don’t know it’s just falling with style. Just ask Jason Statham.
Moving on.
(The “dancing” starts around the 3:42 mark.)
You guys remember when Frank Mir nearly tore Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira’s arm off at UFC 141, subsequently bringing the hopes and dreams of legions crashing to the ground like an Angry Birds house after you launch one of the bomb birds at it? If not, then we’d like to congratulate you on your ability to effectively blackout memories that stand a chance of harming you. Surely an episode of Law and Order: SVU will be devoted to you in the future.
But for us non-sociopaths out there, imagine if Mir had torqued Nog’s arm for a good three or four minutes in a row, and you will understand how painful it was to watch Big Nog’s recent appearance on the Brazilian version of Dancing with the Stars. Considering he was, you know, run over by a truck and all as a child, it wasn’t exactly surprising to learn that he wasn’t be the most flexible guy in the world, but dear God. To say that his moves were rigid would be like saying that Roy Nelson is underpaid and looks like a well fed homeless person — low hanging fruit. So we’re going to take the high road for once and just give Nogueira props for putting himself out there…
…dammit, we can’t resist. Nog was as stiff as a polio victim dressed in a cardboard robot costume. On stilts.
It is a little known fact that Jon Jones has a stipulation in his UFC contract that forbids him from appearing in any form of promotional media without viciously assaulting someone whilst doing so. That child innocently swinging at the playground? He’s getting the boots put to him. That co-worker complaining about shorter lunches? He’s getting choked the fuck out. Mr. Jones’ newest commercial is no different, but thankfully, no helpless bystanders were injured this time. In fact, the ad is nothing more than a slow-mo recap of his recent win over former UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Lyoto Machida. And it couldn’t be any cooler.
It is a little known fact that Jon Jones has a stipulation in his UFC contract that forbids him from appearing in any form of promotional media without viciously assaulting someone whilst doing so. That child innocently swinging at the playground? He’s getting the boots put to him. That co-worker complaining about shorter lunches? He’s getting choked the fuck out. Mr. Jones’ newest commercial is no different, but thankfully, no helpless bystanders were injured this time. In fact, the ad is nothing more than a slow-mo recap of his recent win over former UFC Light Heavyweight Champ Lyoto Machida. And it couldn’t be any cooler.
How cool is Jones’ newest commercial, you ask? Well, it has opted to take the Cialis approach to advertising ie. leaving the audience completely in the dark as to what the hell it is actually trying to sell them, because ambiguity is truly for the elite. If not for the “4.21.12″ that flashes briefly at the end of the ad, which we recognize to be the date of his upcoming UFC 145 showdown with long time rival Rashad Evans, this commercial would simply come across as a minute-long hype video for the current champ, which he is clearly in desperate need of. I mean, let’s not look into the fact that the UFC 145 poster doesn’t feature Evans whatsoever, or any other fighters for that matter. Apparently the UFC’s marketing department doesn’t think “Suga” stands much of a chance, so the question is, do any of you?
(Our boy Chucky shows up around the 1 minute mark.)
Between you, me, and the wall, I had a doozy of a dream last night, Potato Nation. Get this: a corn fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yo’s, a circus midget, my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck.
You think that’s crazy? Well it pales in comparison to the Super Bowl ad Kia managed to dream up, which features supermodel Adriana Lima, former UFC Light Heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell, Motley Crue performing “Kickstart My Heart,” a legion of bikini-clad women, a magical dwarf (so close!!), and a cowboy riding a giant rhinoceros. Check out the video above, even if it isn’t related to MMA whatsoever. Did we mention it has Adriana Lima in a skimpy outfit? Yeah, that’s what we thought.
-J. Jones
(Our boy Chucky shows up around the 1 minute mark.)
Between you, me, and the wall, I had a doozy of a dream last night, Potato Nation. Get this: a corn fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yo’s, a circus midget, my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck.
You think that’s crazy? Well it pales in comparison to the Super Bowl ad Kia managed to dream up, which features supermodel Adriana Lima, former UFC Light Heavyweight champion Chuck Liddell, Motley Crue performing “Kickstart My Heart,” a legion of bikini-clad women, a magical dwarf (so close!!), and a cowboy riding a giant rhinoceros. Check out the video above, even if it isn’t related to MMA whatsoever. Did we mention it has Adriana Lima in a skimpy outfit? Yeah, that’s what we thought.
And here we have UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva lip-synching to Minnie Riperton as part of his new endorsement deal with Burger King. The lack of business regulation in Brazil means that BK can legally sell five-patty Deathburgers there, an…
And here we have UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva lip-synching to Minnie Riperton as part of his new endorsement deal with Burger King. The lack of business regulation in Brazil means that BK can legally sell five-patty Deathburgers there, and we totally believe that Silva eats those things all the time. The King is dead. Long live the King.
Semi-related: After the jump, MMA stars predict the winner of Silva vs. Okami in a new video from UFC Connected. Silva juuuuust sneaks by with 100% of the vote.
