Visual Evidence Confirms That Uriah Hall’s Spinning Back Kick Is as Deadly as Ever

(Video via fighthub.)

A note to all future training partners of Uriah Hall: Should you find yourself in a light sparring session with the TUF 17 finalist and pound-for-pound baddest mofo in TUF History (allegedly), SHY AWAY FROM THE HEAD KICK, MIRKO.

If you choose to pull such an insolent move, however, you will likely find yourself doubled over on a sweat-stained mat moments later, your vision tunneled, your bowels released, praying for sweet, sweet Death’s tender embrace. “Dear Lord,” you will whisper as the fluorescent lights above begin to pool beneath your eyelids, “I am ready. I am ready to be shed of these mortal bonds. Deliver me towards the soil, almighty one.” But Death will never come, and you will instead be forever known by your other training partners as “Shitkick” or “Hallsbitch” or “Ground-n-Brown.”

Poor Nick Ring must be similarly releasing his bowels right about now. As Ving Rhames once said, “Now I realize there are some things worse than death, and one of them is sitting here waiting to die.”

J. Jones


(Video via fighthub.)

A note to all future training partners of Uriah Hall: Should you find yourself in a light sparring session with the TUF 17 finalist and pound-for-pound baddest mofo in TUF History (allegedly), SHY AWAY FROM THE HEAD KICK, MIRKO.

If you choose to pull such an insolent move, however, you will likely find yourself doubled over on a sweat-stained mat moments later, your vision tunneled, your bowels released, praying for sweet, sweet Death’s tender embrace. “Dear Lord,” you will whisper as the fluorescent lights above begin to pool beneath your eyelids, “I am ready. I am ready to be shed of these mortal bonds. Deliver me towards the soil, almighty one.” But Death will never come, and you will instead be forever known by your other training partners as “Shitkick” or “Hallsbitch” or “Ground-n-Brown.”

Poor Nick Ring must be similarly releasing his bowels right about now. As Ving Rhames once said, “Now I realize there are some things worse than death, and one of them is sitting here waiting to die.”

J. Jones

Rousey to TUF 18 Women – No Sex on My Watch

(Hypocrisy is her name | Video via ShoSports)

At the The Ultimate Fighter 17 Finale last night, Cat Zingano earned a shot at Ronda Rousey’s UFC bantamweight belt as well as an opposing coach slot on The Ultimate Fighter 18 with her beastly TKO over Miesha Tate. At the post-event press conference her and Rousey posed for photos and Rousey spoke with MMA Junkie about, among other things, the tight ship she plans on keeping as a TUF 18 coach.

Presumably for the same reason that TUF producers have been quick to stock and re-stock at fighter requests the TUF House liquor cabinet in direct opposition to what is good for training, fighting and fighters, the TUF 18 House will be co-ed, occupied by both female and male contestants on the competition. That is, the idea that setting up as many extra curricular, dangerous roadblocks for fighters can make for tragic lost opportunities but also, and more important, great, drama-riddled television.

If anyone wonders what type of sexual tension and (network executive fingers crossed oh so tight) actual activity might be spurred on among male and female fighters locked in a mansion for months without access to their family or friends back home, television, radio, newspapers or reading material of any sort outside of the Bible (the Matt Hughes special dispensation), then it is likely you’ve gotten the precise point of why the UFC and Fox are doing this way. Rousey was clear, however, that she’ll tell her female team members what types of consequences will be in store for those who can’t keep it in their pants.

“If they’re the chick that was screwing around the house, for the rest of their career they’re going to be known as the chick that was screwing around the house. Sponsors are going to be looking at that. Everybody’s going to be looking at that,” she told MMA Junkie.

“If you think it’s $100,000 worth of that lay [ed. note – she talkin ’bout boning], then go for it, but I’m just going to remind them that there’s a lot of very permanent consequences to how they carry themselves in the house,” Rousey went on.


(Hypocrisy is her name | Video via ShoSports)

At the The Ultimate Fighter 17 Finale last night, Cat Zingano earned a shot at Ronda Rousey’s UFC bantamweight belt as well as an opposing coach slot on The Ultimate Fighter 18 with her beastly TKO over Miesha Tate. At the post-event press conference her and Rousey posed for photos and Rousey spoke with MMA Junkie about, among other things, the tight ship she plans on keeping as a TUF 18 coach.

Presumably for the same reason that TUF producers have been quick to stock and re-stock at fighter requests the TUF House liquor cabinet in direct opposition to what is good for training, fighting and fighters, the TUF 18 House will be co-ed, occupied by both female and male contestants on the competition. That is, the idea that setting up as many extra curricular, dangerous roadblocks for fighters can make for tragic lost opportunities but also, and more important, great, drama-riddled television.

If anyone wonders what type of sexual tension and (network executive fingers crossed oh so tight) actual activity might be spurred on among male and female fighters locked in a mansion for months without access to their family or friends back home, television, radio, newspapers or reading material of any sort outside of the Bible (the Matt Hughes special dispensation), then it is likely you’ve gotten the precise point of why the UFC and Fox are doing this way. Rousey was clear, however, that she’ll tell her female team members what types of consequences will be in store for those who can’t keep it in their pants.

“If they’re the chick that was screwing around the house, for the rest of their career they’re going to be known as the chick that was screwing around the house. Sponsors are going to be looking at that. Everybody’s going to be looking at that,” she told MMA Junkie.

“If you think it’s $100,000 worth of that lay [ed. note – she talkin ’bout boning], then go for it, but I’m just going to remind them that there’s a lot of very permanent consequences to how they carry themselves in the house,” Rousey went on.

Ronda has always struck this writer as normal, authentic and healthy in the way she balances the fact that she ain’t bad to look at with the fact that she’s also a deadly-serious elite professional athlete. So her above statements initially seem just like sage advice for female fighters on the reality of the unfair up-hill battles they face as pioneers in the sport (although it is not clear whether having sex has been or will be officially ‘banned’ on TUF like fighting outside of the ring and leaving the house without permission, for example).

Then again, we seem to remember Ronda telling Showtime that having sex as much as possible before fights is good for her as a fighter because it elevates testosterone levels. Could it be that Ms. Rousey is trying to keep away one of her training secrets from future challengers?

We can’t say for sure whether that stupid, not-seriously offered theory is true or not (it isn’t), but it did give us the opportunity to post the above video of Rousey talking about sex with world-class creep Jim Rome, so there. The UFC and television networks are not the only ones that get to attract more visitors and viewers with cheap tricks and mentioning sex, are they? We should say not.

Elias Cepeda

‘The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen Finale’ Aftermath – A Season Worth Watching


Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.

Every UFC main event has to be about something, and when there aren’t any titles on the line, things tend to get pretty creative. Leading up to the main event of the TUF 17 Finale, the talk surrounding the bout focused on the friendship between competitors Urijah Faber and Scott Jorgensen and how it may affect the bout. Whether the two were actually the close friends that the media made them out to be was completely irrelevant; which is good, because Jorgensen revealed during fight week that they weren’t.

What we were left with was a bout between the number two and number seven ranked bantamweights that played out as expected. This isn’t to say that the fight wasn’t entertaining (it was), but Jorgensen was outgunned early and often by Faber before “The California Kid” sank in the fight ending rear-naked choke in the fourth round. It was closer than the gambling odds indicated it would be, but not exactly a close fight, and though Jorgensen managed to mount some offense of his own, he never appeared to be any real threat to Faber.

The bantamweight division is very top-heavy, which perhaps more than anything explains why Urijah Faber is seemingly always one fight away from a title shot. The gap between the top five guys and the rest of the division is wider than most fans would care to acknowledge, and it showed last night. Still, I’d rather watch Urijah Faber fight Michael McDonald than watch him get crammed into yet another title fight. I doubt I’m in the minority here – at least among hardcore fans.


Photo Courtesy of Getty Images.

Every UFC main event has to be about something, and when there aren’t any titles on the line, things tend to get pretty creative. Leading up to the main event of the TUF 17 Finale, the talk surrounding the bout focused on the friendship between competitors Urijah Faber and Scott Jorgensen and how it may affect the bout. Whether the two were actually the close friends that the media made them out to be was completely irrelevant; which is good, because Jorgensen revealed during fight week that they weren’t.

What we were left with was a bout between the number two and number seven ranked bantamweights that played out as expected. This isn’t to say that the fight wasn’t entertaining (it was), but Jorgensen was outgunned early and often by Faber before “The California Kid” sank in the fight ending rear-naked choke in the fourth round. It was closer than the gambling odds indicated it would be, but not exactly a close fight, and though Jorgensen managed to mount some offense of his own, he never appeared to be any real threat to Faber.

The bantamweight division is very top-heavy, which perhaps more than anything explains why Urijah Faber is seemingly always one fight away from a title shot. The gap between the top five guys and the rest of the division is wider than most fans would care to acknowledge, and it showed last night. Still, I’d rather watch Urijah Faber fight Michael McDonald than watch him get crammed into yet another title fight. I doubt I’m in the minority here – at least among hardcore fans.

Of course, the “friendship” angle between Faber and Jorgensen wasn’t the only storyline from last night to abruptly fall apart. After Anik’s interview with Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen, it’s safe to say that any possibility of the UFC marketing these two guys as bitter rivals/sworn enemies/anything other than apathetic about fighting each other is off the table. Judging by the comments on last night’s liveblog, I may be the only person who actually enjoyed the segment, but I digress. Oh, one more obvious storyline fell apart last night, too.

Elsewhere on the card…

– Throughout this season of The Ultimate Fighter, it seemed obvious that Uriah Hall was destined for stardom. He steamrolled his way through his competition on the show, impressed us with flashy, Tekken-inspired kicks and appeared ready to make an immediate impact on the UFC middleweight division. On paper, Hall’s co-main event clash with Kelvin Gastelum for this season’s championship was strictly a formality, as Gastelum was no threat to actually win this fight, right?

Not quite. Gastelum surprised many – including Hall – by being more than willing to press the action against the feared striker, and earned takedowns throughout the course of the bout. Even though Hall managed to reverse some of Gastelum’s attempts, in the end Gastelum took the fight – and this season’s championship – by way of split decision.

Perhaps it’s fitting that the most interesting season of The Ultimate Fighter in recent memory ended with an underdog winning it all, but don’t be quick to dismiss Kelvin Gastelum. Gastelum may not have the resume that Hall has, but a good wrestler who doesn’t get gun-shy has unlimited upward mobility in the UFC. As the youngest TUF champion in the history of the show, Gastelum has the potential to make quite the impact on the middleweight division. Likewise, don’t give up on Uriah Hall just yet. The close loss may be a product of Hall having the Octagon jitters, something that happens to many fighters the first time they fight in the UFC. Time will tell how Hall bounces back from this defeat.

– The $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus rightfully went to Cat Zingano and Miesha Tate for their three round brawl. Although Zingano kept the bout close, Tate’s wrestling earned her the edge on the judge’s scorecards heading into the third round. However, Zingano was in complete control in the third round, earning a takedown and landing strikes at will against Tate. After catching Tate with a knee during a scramble, Zingano kept swinging until Kim Winslow stopped the bout. Cat Zingano earned a coaching slot on The Ultimate Fighter 18 alongside Ronda Rousey – as well as a title shot at the end of the season – with the victory.

Fights are virtually guaranteed to end in controversy whenever Kim Winslow is in the cage, and this fight proved to be no exception. After the event, Miesha Tate expressed her anger over the stoppage, claiming that Winslow waived things off too soon. “She told me, ‘Show me something,’” said Tate. “I don’t know what you want. I sat up, I shot a double, I got back to my feet. I took some damage because of that, because I was trying to listen to the referee, and she fucking stopped the fight.” Despite Tate’s argument that the stoppage was early (for what it’s worth, I didn’t think it was), it was a great fight that further demonstrated why women belong in the UFC.

– Travis Browne is certainly one of the most creative strikers in the UFC, but I know I can’t be the only person who thought “not this again” when he started his bout against Gabriel Gonzaga with a wild high kick that completely missed its target. Throughout the next minute of the fight, it was obvious that Gonzaga wanted nothing to do with Browne’s striking. During the last six seconds of the fight, it was obvious why. Despite Gonzaga’s best efforts to neutralize Browne’s dynamic stand-up, Browne only needed a few standing hellbows to shut out Napao’s lights, earning himself the $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus.

– If you didn’t like watching Bubba McDaniel thoroughly outclass Gilbert Smith on his way to a third round triangle choke victory, you’ll possibly take comfort in knowing that he didn’t win the $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus for his efforts. Instead, the honor went to Daniel Pineda, who kicked off the card with a first round victory by kimura over Justin Lawrence.

– As for the $25,000 End of the Season awards, Fight of the Season went to Dylan Andrews and Luke Barnatt for their back-and-forth quarterfinal fight that Andrews eventually won by TKO, Submission of the Season went to Kelvin Gastelum for his rear-naked choke victory over Josh Samman during the semifinals, and I think it’s pretty obvious who took home Knockout of the Season.

Full Results:

Main Card:
Urijah Faber def. Scott Jorgensen via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:16 of Round Four
Kelvin Gastelum def. Uriah Hall via Split-Decision
Cat Zingano def. Miesha Tate via TKO (knees & elbow), 2:55 of Round Three
Travis Browne def. Gabriel Gonzaga via KO (elbows), 1:11 of Round One
Bubba McDaniel def. Gilbert Smith via submission (triangle choke), 2:49 of Round Three

Preliminary card:
Josh Samman def. Kevin Casey via TKO (knees), 2:17 of Round Two
Luke Barnatt def. Collin Hart via Unanimous Decision
Dylan Andrews def. Jimmy Quinlan via TKO (punches), 3:22 of Round One
Clint Hester def. Bristol Marunde via KO (elbow), 3:53 of Round Three
Cole Miller def. Bart Palaszewski via submission (rear-naked choke), 4:23 of Round One
Maximo Blanco def. Sam Sicilia via Unanimous Decision
Daniel Pineda def. Justin Lawrence via submission (kimura), 1:35 of Round One

@SethFalvo

The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen Finale — Live Results and Commentary


(“Nice hair, douchebag.” — Both of them. / Image via MMAFighting.com)

Is Uriah Hall really the next big thing at middleweight, or will the constantly-overlooked Kelvin Gastelum pull off another upset? Which rock-solid female bantamweight is going to earn a reality-TV coaching gig (and future title shot) against Ronda Rousey? How much tread is left on The California Kid‘s tires? How exactly does one drink a Gatorade from a reclining position, in the traditional Brazilian style? These questions — and many others — will be answered tonight, folks. Prepare yourselves.

Handling play-by-play duties for our TUF 17 Finale liveblog is Alex Giardini, who will stack up results from the FX main card broadcast after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please share your own thoughts in the comments section.


(“Nice hair, douchebag.” — Both of them. / Image via MMAFighting.com)

Is Uriah Hall really the next big thing at middleweight, or will the constantly-overlooked Kelvin Gastelum pull off another upset? Which rock-solid female bantamweight is going to earn a reality-TV coaching gig (and future title shot) against Ronda Rousey? How much tread is left on The California Kid‘s tires? How exactly does one drink a Gatorade from a reclining position, in the traditional Brazilian style? These questions — and many others — will be answered tonight, folks. Prepare yourselves.

Handling play-by-play duties for our TUF 17 Finale liveblog is Alex Giardini, who will stack up results from the FX main card broadcast after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please share your own thoughts in the comments section.

Hello there, tasty ones…welcome to The Ultimate Fighter 17 Finale.  Tonight’s main event features title shot alumni Urijah Faber against Miami Ink’s own, Scott Jorgensen. A win for Faber means “The California Kid” could be next in line for a light heavyweight or middleweight title shot (his choice, really) and a win for Jorgensen means…well, a two-fight win streak.

The Ultimate Fighter middleweight tournament winner will be crown as Uriah Hall takes on Kelvin Gastelum, who at this point probably has three people in this world who thinks he’s going to leave Las Vegas the winner. In all seriousness, this fight should be a lot closer than most people think.

A salivating (creep alert) matchup between Miesha Tate and Cat Zingano will also take place on this card and I’m warning you now, updates may take a little longer during this one. Technically, you are all ‘Taters…but tonight I’m sure there will be some ‘Zingers in the house too. Anyway, the winner of this one gets a title shot and coaches alongside Ronda Rousey in next season’s Big Brother.

A heavyweight scrap between Gabriel Gonzaga and Travis Browne should be thoroughly entertaining and opening the night is a scrap between TUF 17 castoffs Bubba McDaniel and Gilbert Smith. Also on the card tonight are former Strikeforce ring card girls Chrissy Blair and Vanessa Hanson. Good God, those bangs-ba-bangs-bangs-bangs….let’s do the damn thang.

Intro video begins and I must say Tate and Zingano are by far the prettiest fighters ever to take part in this montage. Yeah, you’re going to have to deal with this all night. Gastelum declares himself as the underdog once again – hard not to root for guys like that. Faber says he’s basically getting another title shot with this win. Hmm, would have never thought…

I’m also expecting a .gif of that blonde in the crowd wearing the white tanktop by tomorrow morning, courtesy of the MMA community (a.k.a. sick freaks).

Bubba McDaniel vs. Gilbert Smith

Round 1: They do not touch gloves. Smith with a miss to the body. Bubba with a left that misses but pushes Smith towards the fence. Smith with a good knee, could have been a groin. Bubba with a nice combo, left and rights. Smith gets a takedown by pulling Bubba’s foot from underneath of him and sets up his guard. Bubba reverses and ends up in half-guard. Good elbow from the position by Bubba. Bubba with some jabs and Smith gets up, setting up a double-leg takedown. Smith attempts a triangle but fails. Smith in Bubba’s guard, not staying very busy. Bubba with a few elbows from the bottom. Bubba works his way to the cage and posts his back against the fence. Smith still grinding as Bubba is attempting to standup. Bubba on his knees, firing elbows to the side of Smith’s head. He gets up shortly but Smith takes him back down. Bubba working a guillotine. It looks quite deep but doesn’t commit and switches to a sweep. Bubba now in side control, works and gets Smith’s back. A big knee to the ribs by Bubba at the end of the round. Close, but Bubba did more damage. 10-9 Bubba.

Round 2: Both men clinch at the center. Smith charges Bubba all the way to the fence and is working another takedown. Bubba pressures him and ends up reversing Smith against the fence. Smith attempts a kimura but no success. Smith working a single, Bubba defending with his back against the cage and laying down some hammerfists. Knee to the head by Bubba. Both men now exchanging, Bubba using effective legkicks. Smith misses a wild left. Bubba attempts the takedown and Smith gets him in a guillotine. It looks very tight. Bubba gets out of it and is now in side control. Bubba moves to the back, gets double-underhooks and rains down punches. Bubba in half-guard and clips Smith with a good elbow. Smith gets up and they are both on their feet. Jab misses by Smith. Bubba with a nice right hook. Smith jabs but Bubba shuffles away. 10-9 Bubba.

Round 3: They touch gloves and Bubba knocks him down with a left shortly after. Bubba gets another left hook in but Smith responds with the same.  Smith goes for a takedown but Bubba reverses it into a takedown of his own. Bubba in side control, passes guard and mounts. Bubba back in half-guard after Smith postures effectively. Bubba takes the back after a crossface. Bubba looking for underhooks, secures one. Bubba attempting to stretch Smith out for a rear-naked choke. Smith countering very well, and reverses Bubba. However Bubba gets a triangle-armbar in. Smith tries to escape but Bubba locks it in and Smith eventually taps.

Bubba McDaniel def. Gilbert Smith by Submission (Triangle choke), Round 3, 2:49.

Decent fight to start the main card. Nice promo video for next week’s card, featuring Mir, Cormier, Nate, Melendez and etc.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Travis Browne

Round 1:  Browne with a wild overhead kick that misses and Gonzaga nearly turns it into a takedown. Gonzaga has Browne clinched up against the fence. Gonzaga working a single-leg, Browne defending with a left-underhook. Ref warns Browne not to grab fence. Browne hits Gonzaga with four or five elbows and my goodness, Gonzaga falls flat, out cold.

Travis Brown def. Gabriel Gonzaga by KO (Elbows), Round 1, 1:11.

Those elbows were brutal. Some hit the temple, some hit the ear, one definitely hit the back of his head. More or less inevitable when you’re trying to pound someone’s lights out. Anik interviews Browne, who says he’s got to show these young bucks how to get bonuses. Fair enough.

Crowd shots of both CM Punk, promoting straight-edgery with an “X” in the air and IBF Light Middleweight champ Ishe Smith.

Anik joined by Jones and Sonnen. Jones says the final should be a great fight. Sonnen hits a promo on the final, business as usual. Anik asks Jones a question in which Jones shrugs off and says the work is done. Sonnen says if he goes down, he will go down as a gangster. Jones does not even look at Sonnen. Jones said it’s not about hate, it’s about love. Yeah, honestly I’m as confused as you are. Whatever, second-women’s-fight-in-UFC-history time and aww, shot of Rousey in the crowd.

Miesha Tate vs. Cat Zingano

Zingano stares at Tate intensely before “Cupcake” can even get into the cage. Tate dancing in her corner and rapping alongside Nicki Minaj before Buffer spews their names. Cuuuuuute.

Round 1: Lurdge Winslow gets them going. Tate comes out blazing and gets the takedown. Cat escapes and now Tate securing in a choke. Tate digs Cat into the fence and Cat working a guillotine of her own. Cat relaxed against the fence. Cat has a guillotine in tight, trips Cat and now they’re back on their feet. Tate rocks Cat with a number of punches and Cat drags Tate to the bottom, getting in another choke. Cat now in side control. Cat on top, trying to work an armlock.  They both get up and Cat gets a nice highkick in. Tate rocks Cat back with a huge right. Big knee from Cat! Followed by a jab and big uppercut from Cat. Tate gets another takedown, aggressively trying to work. Tate now in side control and trying to mount. Tate has her leg caught in Cat’s half-guard. Big elbow from the top from Tate followed by one more. Tate trying to get her leg free. Tate with a big elbow from the top. Round ends with Miesha on top, raining down punches. As Tate gets up, she shoves her hand in Cat’s face who walks towards Tate but Winslow separates them. Oh my. 10-9 Tate.

Round 2: Cat comes forward with a flying knee, misses. They scramble for takedowns and Miesha now in side control against the fence. Tate trying to find an advantageous position but Cat still trapping that leg.  Tate trying to mount. Big shots from the top, by Tate who transitions into armbar. Cat escapes and both are in an opposite north-south position, battling for supremacy. Cat in mount once more, raining down punches. Tate in side control once more, trying to mount. Now Cat reverses and is on top. Tate sets up a leglock. Cat trying to break her leg free and Tate gets her in a heel-hook. Cat patiently waiting for an opportunity. Cat with some punches to the legs of Tate and her face. Tate still working off her back. Tate trying to turn but Cat counters. Big shots from Cat on top. Cat raining down some ground and pound revenge. Cat still in top position. Tate gets up, Cat misses with a knee and both try for a takedown as the horn sounds. FOTN, easily. 10-9 Tate.

Round 3: Tate bleeding from the nose. Both circle, faking. Cat misses a highkick and falls but gets up. Cat works a takedown and charges Tate down. Warning from Winslow for Cat to watch the eyes. Big elbow from side control by Cat. Tate on her back and Cat drilling down punches. Good, short elbow from Cat from the top. Cat looking for a choke. Cat pounding away, with shots and elbows. Tate scrambling but Cat is relentless in side control. Tate’s nose looks messy. Cat really pounding away, Tate gets up and Cat drops her with a knee. Tate gets up and another knee from Tate. Cat with a few more big strikes, elbows, and the ref steps in.

Holy hell, that fight was intense. Shot of Rousey sitting by Chael, who is giving the champ some advice based on what he saw. Rousey looks intrigued by Cat.

Cat Zingano def. Miesha Tate by TKO (Strikes), Round 3, 2:55.

Rousey and Dana with Anik now. Rousey said she’s really able to perform under pressure and Dana said she looked amazing tonight. I wonder if The Baldfather told Rousey to wear that blazer to promote next season’s Big Brother. Dana announces next season will move to Fox Sports One. In other news, many of the commenters down below will masturbate to the replay of our last fight in approximately 53 minutes.

Pre-fight promo video shows Gastelum with his mother back at home. She talks about his trophies and triumphs. He says he owes his life to her. Screen shots of NY and footage of Uriah’s sister busting his chops. His mother tells him, “Mama says Knock him out”. Uriah says Kelvin does not possess what he has. Bring on the winner…

 Uriah Hall vs. Kelvin Gastelum

Round 1: Herb Dean gets us going. They touch gloves and Gastelum takes the centre. Both very patient, feeling each other out. Hall working backwards. Gastelum lands with a left after missing a wild one. Gastelum clinching Hall against the fence, working with knees. Gastelum with a shoulder strike after his arms are being controlled by Hall. Both men still clinched against the fence. They separate and Gastelum gets a legkick in. Hall goes for a lead-in knee and misses his right hook. Hall connects with a short right. Gastelum with a superman punch and rocks Hall. Gastelum swinging for the fences. Gastelum misses a wild right and sets up a takedown. Throwing bombs from side control, Gastelum mounts. He ends up in half-guard and clips Hall with a short punch. Gastelum trying to ground and pound but Hall looks like he’s doing well from the bottom. Hall uses the fence to get up and Gastelum knees him. Hall gets in a beautiful inside legkick that nearly spins Gastelum around. Hall with a big takedown but Gastelum gets up and Hall ends the round by clinching him against the fence. Gastelum 10-9.

Round 2: Hall comes out blazing and misses a frontkick. Gastelum moving nicely, shuffling back and forth. Hall misses with a spinning strike but gets a straight right in. Big highkick by Hall. Hall misses with a few fancy highkicks and Gastelum secures another takedown. Gastelum trying to mount but Hall working nicely off his back. Gastelum secures and underhook but Hall reverses him and gets on top. Hall stands up and lays into Gastelum with a big knee, who also gets up seconds after Hall. Gastelum has Hall clinched up against the fence again.  Trip by Hall and ends up on top of Gastelum on the ground.  Short elbow by Hall on the ground. Dean urges Hall to work. Hall ends up getting Gastelum’s back as they both on their feet and a huge belly-to-back suplex by Hall. Gastelum quickly rises and turns Hall against the fence. Gastelum using his wrestling background effectively. Knee lands inside by Gastelum. Tough one to score. 10-9 Gastelum.

Round 3: Gastelum misses with a wild right hook and Hall hits him with a knee to the body. Gastelum points to the crotch and the fight stops. After a few seconds, Gastelum is ok. Hall misses with a patented karate kick. Hall trying to catch his opponent with those familiar spinning kicks. Hall with his hands down catches Gastelum with a big jab. Gastelum takes him down from the back and Hall escapes and gets a takedown of his own, dropping bombs from the top.           Both men standup and Gastelum clinches Hall towards the fence once more. Hall misses with a jab. Hall gets a nice left jab in. Hall almost catches him with a highkick. Hall misses with a frontkick to the body. Gastelum catches Hall with an overhead left. Inside legkick by Gastelum. Big double-leg takedown by Gastelum and he transitions into an armbar. Hall going for a triangle off his back. Gastelum escapes and is mounted, trying to do damage from the top. Hall firing away from the bottom with wild, hard punches. Gastelum goes for an armlock and Hall reverses it, gets his back and the horn sounds. Sudden victory round could be looming. 10-9 Gastelum.

Kelvin Gastelum def. Uriah Hall by Split Decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

Rocky Balboa never got tired of the underdog role, so why should Gastelum. Congrats to Kelvin, The Ultimate Fighter 17 Middleweight Winner.

Main event time…

Urijah Faber vs. Scott Jorgensen

Round 1: Both men come out aggressively. Faber lands with a few strikes and works on a front headlock.  Faber clinches Jorgensen against the fence. Jorgensen gets a takedown and tries to work on the bottom. Faber attempts an armbar but no dice. Nice reversal by Faber and he takes down Jorgensen. Faber attempts a guillotine and takes his back instead. Both men get to their feet and both land a few jabs. Huge knee to the midsection by Faber. Jorgensen drops and Faber capitalizes on top of him. Faber takes his back and secures position for a rear-naked choke. Jorgensen tries to escape but Faber relentlessly continuing. Jorgensen escapes but Faber gets in a guillotine. Faber shuffles and continues to secure the choke. Faber switches position and gets Jorgensen’s back once more. Faber gets an underhook in as Jorgensen tries to get to his feet and the horn sounds. All Faber in the first. 10-9 Faber.

Round 2: Both fighters come to trade in the centre. Jorgensen misses a big left hook. Faber misses with a combo. Faber kicks Jorgensen in the groin by accident and Jorgensen drops. After about a minute, Jorgensen continues. Good jab by Jorgensen. Beautiful knee by Faber to the face. Straight right by Faber and a counter by Jorgensen. Uppercut by Faber and Jorgensen gets a takedown. Faber gets up quickly and clocks Jorgensen with another knee. Faber checks a highkick from Jorgensen. Nice left hook by Faber. Faber going to the body, using kicks and hits Jorgensen with a nice elbow. Faber with a nice left hook. Faber with a kick to the midsection. Jorgensen working his combinations effectively but Faber is so fast that nothing is landing. Takedown by Faber. Jorgensen trying to work a kimura from the bottom. Faber scrambles and both men stand up. Nice left by Jorgensen. Uppercut by Jorgensen. Faber lands a big right. Faber clinches Jorgensen against the fence. Jorgensen reverses and gets a bodylock against the cage. Both jockeying for position. Both men fight off to get to the center and Jorgensen closes the second round with a nice left hook. 10-9 Faber.

Round 3: Both men circle at the center. Nice straights by Jorgensen but he can’t catch Faber clean. Good knee by Faber. Jorgensen connecting with his lead jab. Nice right hand by Jorgensen. Knee to the body by Jorgensen. Faber misses with a right but lands a legkick. Good combo by Faber, closes with a left hook. Nice combination by Jorgensen that lands. Body shot by Faber. Faber with a good left hook. Faber again with a left hook as Jorgensen comes forward. Jorgensen has Faber against the fence and works double-underhooks. Jorgensen now has Faber’s back and misses with a big elbow. Faber escapes and catches him with a big right hand. Jorgensen gets a right in of his own and sneaks in a takedown. He has Faber’s back and Faber escapes but eats an elbow on the inside. Jorgensen connects with an uppercut and a few good punches. Legkick by Jorgensen. Jorgensen throws another kick but almost slips. Good counter punch by Faber. Faber gets a double-leg and now has Jorgensen’s back. Horn sounds and a big round for Jorgensen. 10-9 Jorgensen.

Round 4: Jorgensen opens the round with a right hook. Faber connects with a straight right. Jorgensen connecting with a string of punches. Faber catches him with a right hand. Jab by Faber. Jorgensen shoots for a takedown but ends up in a high-elbow guillotine. Jorgensen escapes and both exchanges punches. Faber stuffs a takedown. Jorgensen gets in a knee to the body as Faber went forward. Big elbow by Faber. Both men clinch at the center. They break apart and Faber clocks him with a right. Faber fainting successfully and jabs Jorgensen. Left hook by Faber. Big takedown by Faber. Faber gets his back and gets an arm in across Jorgensen’s face. Faber gets in a rear-naked choke and Jorgensen is an inch away from the fence, trying to escape. Faber sinks it in deep and Jorgensen taps. Another submission for “The California Kid”.

Urijah Faber def. Scott Jorgensen by Submission (Rear-Naked Choke), Round 4, 3:16.

Fun card…these TUF Finales usually are. Faber praises his buddy and hopes they fight for the belt one day. Tate and Zingano definitely the highlight of the night. Hope y’all enjoyed the card. Take care homies.

[VIDEO] TUF 17 Finale Weigh Ins

This post is ostensibly about the fighters who weighed in yesterday for tonight’s big TUF 17 Finale event. We will not, however, judge you if you skip right to the twenty five minute mark to watch Miesha Tate and Cat Zingano, who for some reason, both decided to weigh in wearing bikinis (do you, ladies. No complaints here at the CP office.).

If you didn’t get enough Zingano from her open media workout which was ostensibly about giving a taste of her workouts but was really about stretching… Oh, the stretching….anyway, she’s in this video along with Meisha and some other guys who we guess are fighting, too. I don’t know.

We heard something about a couple guys named Urijah (what are the chances of that, huh?) fighting, a Brazilian Sasquatch with a black belt on a come-back tear and a do-or-die featherweight match up on facebook between some straight bangers named Cole and Bart. Who knows?

If you watch the above video, you’ll probably end up learning more than we know. So, go for it.

Elias Cepeda

This post is ostensibly about the fighters who weighed in yesterday for tonight’s big TUF 17 Finale event. We will not, however, judge you if you skip right to the twenty five minute mark to watch Miesha Tate and Cat Zingano, who for some reason, both decided to weigh in wearing bikinis (do you, ladies. No complaints here at the CP office.).

If you didn’t get enough Zingano from her open media workout which was ostensibly about giving a taste of her workouts but was really about stretching… Oh, the stretching….anyway, she’s in this video along with Meisha and some other guys who we guess are fighting, too. I don’t know.

We heard something about a couple guys named Urijah (what are the chances of that, huh?) fighting, a Brazilian Sasquatch with a black belt on a come-back tear and a do-or-die featherweight match up on facebook between some straight bangers named Cole and Bart. Who knows?

If you watch the above video, you’ll probably end up learning more than we know. So, go for it.

Elias Cepeda

Gambling Addiction Enabler: The Ultimate Fighter 17 Finale Edition

On paper, this Saturday’s TUF 17 Finale card is dominated by wide mismatches. But which fights will actually be blowouts, and which ones will end in profitable upsets? Check out the betting lines below (via bestfightodds.com) and let’s see if we can win some cash off this thing.

MAIN CARD (FX, 9 p.m. ET)
Urijah Faber (-435) vs. Scott Jorgensen (+375)
Uriah Hall (-309) vs. Kelvin Gastelum (+325)
Cat Zingano (-115) vs. Miesha Tate (+106)
Travis Browne (-250) vs. Gabriel Gonzaga (+240)
Robert McDaniel (-166) vs. Gilbert Smith (+155)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FUEL TV, 7 p.m. ET)
Josh Samman (-445) vs. Kevin Casey (+370)
Luke Barnatt (-124) vs. Collin Hart (+115)
Jimmy Quinlan (+100) vs. Dylan Andrews (+105)
Clint Hester (-160) vs. Bristol Marunde (+150)

PRELIMINARY CARD (Facebook, 5:30 p.m. ET)
Bart Palaszewski (-160) vs. Cole Miller (+155)
Daniel Pineda (-120) vs. Justin Lawrence (+109)
Maximo Blanco (-200) vs. Sam Sicilia (+195)

If you’re confused about what the numbers mean, read this. Otherwise, let’s proceed…

On paper, this Saturday’s TUF 17 Finale card is dominated by wide mismatches. But which fights will actually be blowouts, and which ones will end in profitable upsets? Check out the betting lines below (via bestfightodds.com) and let’s see if we can win some cash off this thing.

MAIN CARD (FX, 9 p.m. ET)
Urijah Faber (-435) vs. Scott Jorgensen (+375)
Uriah Hall (-309) vs. Kelvin Gastelum (+325)
Cat Zingano (-115) vs. Miesha Tate (+106)
Travis Browne (-250) vs. Gabriel Gonzaga (+240)
Robert McDaniel (-166) vs. Gilbert Smith (+155)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FUEL TV, 7 p.m. ET)
Josh Samman (-445) vs. Kevin Casey (+370)
Luke Barnatt (-124) vs. Collin Hart (+115)
Jimmy Quinlan (+100) vs. Dylan Andrews (+105)
Clint Hester (-160) vs. Bristol Marunde (+150)

PRELIMINARY CARD (Facebook, 5:30 p.m. ET)
Bart Palaszewski (-160) vs. Cole Miller (+155)
Daniel Pineda (-120) vs. Justin Lawrence (+109)
Maximo Blanco (-200) vs. Sam Sicilia (+195)

If you’re confused about what the numbers mean, read this. Otherwise, let’s proceed…

The Main Event: Without disrespecting the man too much, let’s just say that Scott Jorgensen is only in the main event because Urijah Faber needed somebody to fight. A win for Faber is the most likely scenario here…but man, are those odds bloated or what? Keep in mind that Faber has been relatively inconsistent since his WEC heyday, and has been alternating neatly between wins and losses during his UFC career. (Both Faber and Jorgensen are coming off of submission victories, by the way.) At -435, putting money on the California Kid is definitely not worth the risk. On the other hand, a small bet on Jorgensen (+375) might be. Consider it.

The Co-Main Event: I have to admit, the Uriah Hall hype train has swept me off my feet and I like it, baby. I think Hall is a lock against Kelvin Gastelum, and it’s not just because of his explosive power or flashy Tekken-kicks — it’s also his maturity, his confidence, and his experience edge. Of the five opponents on Gastelum’s professional record, only one had a winning record when they fought. Meanwhile, Hall has already been in the cage with UFC-level talents like Chris Weidman and Costa Philippou, and learned valuable lessons from those fights. Gastelum is an incredible raw talent, but he needs seasoning; Hall already has it. Betting on Uriah won’t be profitable, but it’s a fairly safe investment.

The Ladies: It’s somewhat surprising that Cat Zingano — who isn’t a familiar Strikeforce crossover — is a slight favorite over a known quantity like Miesha Tate. Zingano certainly looks the part, and Rose Namajunas told us that she’s a stud wrestler and rapidly improving striker, in addition to her BJJ base. But until Cat experiences her first fight on a big stage against a top talent like Tate, I wouldn’t suggest betting on her. Small money on Miesha is probably the way to go.

Another Good ‘Dog: If Cole Miller (+155) can bring the fight to the ground, Bart Palaszewski is in deep shit. That is all.

Proceed With Caution: Six months ago, Browne vs. Gonzaga would have been a no-brainer. Travis Browne was the nasty up-and-comer, and Gabriel Gonzaga was the irrelevant can-crusher. Then, Browne blew a hammy while firing some ridiculously unnecessary jumping front kicks against Bigfoot Silva, and Gonzaga went and choked out Ben Rothwell — his greatest UFC victory since his infamous head kick knockout of Mirko Cro Cop. So is Napao back? And will Browne keep it simple this time, for God’s sake? My gut tells me that Browne has this in the bag, but my mind tells me to skip it, just in case.

The Official CagePotato “Safe” Parlay: $5 on Faber+Hall+Tate+Barnatt returns a $22.77 profit on BetUS.

The Unofficial CagePotato “So Crazy It Just Might Work?” Parlay: $5 on Jorgensen+Gonzaga+Casey+Marunde+Miller+Sicilia returns a $5,431.40 profit.