Tag: Ugh

Wanderlei Silva Buries the Nevada Athletic Commission, Continues Descent Into Irrelevance

Jon Jones tested positive for cocaine earlier this week! You know what that means, right? If you guessed an overhaul of drug testing procedures and increased transparency from the Nevada Athletic Commission and the UFC, you’d be wrong. No, what this significant development in MMA means is another Wanderlei Silva pro wrestling-style shoot promo.

He set his sights on the NAC, bashing them for ruining Jones’ reputation and for being the bumbling, corrupt idiots we all sort of know they are (transcript via MMA Fighting). Read it after the jump.

Jon Jones tested positive for cocaine earlier this week! You know what that means, right? If you guessed an overhaul of drug testing procedures and increased transparency from the Nevada Athletic Commission and the UFC, you’d be wrong. No, what this significant development in MMA means is another Wanderlei Silva pro wrestling-style shoot promo.

He set his sights on the NAC, bashing them for ruining Jones’ reputation and for being the bumbling, corrupt idiots we all sort of know they are (transcript via MMA Fighting):

Let’s analyze what happened to Jon Jones. [The NAC is] saying that test shouldn’t have been done out of competition and that it was an accident. So they went to test him and accidentally tested for cocaine. But now Jon Jones’ champion image is damaged. So what’s the commission going to do about this? They go, ‘ah, we don’t know, we’ll see what’s going to happen.’ Are there laws or are there no laws? Sometimes there are laws and sometimes there are none? There are no protocols to be followed? Where are the laws? Who voted for them? Who implements them? You are lost, you don’t know what you are doing.

Good points. He’d go on to make a few more…

This sport has to be regulated. The way that it’s going can’t continue. This commission is a mess. They don’t know what they are [doing]. You can punish or not? There’s no set punishment, there’s no set testing system. You guys have to be professionals, you ask for fighters to be professionals when you are not. How can you want to put people on trial without laws? Without laws that apply equally to all? Everybody knows the UFC is a business. They put on fights to make money, and in those regards they’re not wrong. But the entity that implements the laws for the athletes, the entity that punishes athletes and controls their lives yet doesn’t know what they’re doing, just can’t be. It’s a commission that doesn’t follow protocols or laws. So you better clean up this mess. Instead of regulating it, you are damaging the sport.

While Silva’s words have truth to them (hell, we agree with pretty much all of them) they sound awfully strange coming from the guy who literally ran away from a piss-cup-carrying commission member.

And Silva has released scathing videos like this before, one on fighter sponsorships and the other on fighter pay. Being a disgraced fighter and habitually releasing scathing videos is putting Silva dangerously close to fringe MMA weirdo territory — think Luke Cummo and Dan Quinn. And once you become one of those guys, there’s no coming back. You’re condemned to signing autographs in third-rate pizza places for all eternity.

We still want to love you, Wandy, you’re just making it harder and harder. So instead of latching onto the popular cause of the minute every few weeks, please figure out how to escape your UFC contract so we can watch you murder professional wrestlers in Bellator.

MMA is Horrible: Jon Jones Defends Disgraced Bill Cosby

This week on MMA is Horrible, we have UFC light heavyweight champ Jon Jones defending Bill Cosby — a man 13 women have accused of rape.

TMZ found Jon Jones in Los Angeles and asked for his thoughts on the matter:

What’d he do? He raped somebody, right? Nah. I don’t think Bill Cosby would do that. I’ve never met him but from what I’ve seen, he seems to be a class act. I kinda grew up admiring him as a black actor and I really hope that’s not true. I mean, he’s Bill Cosby, he shouldn’t have to take it. They should be [does a gesture insinuating women should throw themselves at him].

Umm…yeah. Not exactly the most graceful or appropriate response from Jones.

This week on MMA is Horrible, we have UFC light heavyweight champ Jon Jones defending Bill Cosby — a man 13 women have accused of rape.

TMZ found Jon Jones in Los Angeles and asked for his thoughts on the matter:

What’d he do? He raped somebody, right? Nah. I don’t think Bill Cosby would do that. I’ve never met him but from what I’ve seen, he seems to be a class act. I kinda grew up admiring him as a black actor and I really hope that’s not true. I mean, he’s Bill Cosby, he shouldn’t have to take it. They should be [does a gesture insinuating women should throw themselves at him].

Umm…yeah. Not exactly the most graceful or appropriate response from Jones. He essentially laughed of Cosby’s allegations because Cosby is famous and “shouldn’t have to take it.” That’s shameful and embarrassing, quite frankly. Not only does it show a misunderstanding of rape (a crime fueled by power, not sex drive), it shows that Jones values Bill Cosby’s word over the word of 13 women just because it’s hard to imagine Cosby doing something like that.

Jones’ faux pas comes at a time when Anthony “Rumble” Johnson literally LOL’d at his own domestic abuse accusations and Conor McGregor called Dennis Siver a Nazi. MMA is horrible sometimes, isn’t it?

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Mystic Art of Bo Fung Do

What, you haven’t heard of Bo Fung Do? Are you some kind of martial arts hobbyist or something? We only cater to hardcore fans at CagePotato, so here’s the rundown:

Bo Fung Do is “a martial art system geared for practical self defense against one or more opponents.” It’s a Wing Chun offshoot whose name means “The Way of the Sudden Storm.”

Judging by the above video, there’s no better way to prepare for a street fight against multiple opponents than to flail at opponents adorned in more padding than a self-conscious teenage girl’s bra.

Actually, we’re not being fair. There’s another crucial aspect to this ancient, prestigious art:  Fighting in front of some strobe lights while being blasted with fake snow. See a video of it after the jump.

What, you haven’t heard of Bo Fung Do? Are you some kind of martial arts hobbyist or something? We only cater to hardcore fans at CagePotato, so here’s the rundown:

Bo Fung Do is “a martial art system geared for practical self defense against one or more opponents.” It’s a Wing Chun offshoot whose name means “The Way of the Sudden Storm.”

Judging by the above video, there’s no better way to prepare for a street fight against multiple enemies than to flail at opponents adorned in more padding than a self-conscious teenage girl’s bra.

Actually, we’re not being fair. There’s another crucial aspect to this ancient, prestigious art:  Fighting in front of some strobe lights while being blasted with fake snow.

To be fair, this isn’t the worst school we’ve seen on Martial Arts Fail. The facilities these guys have (the foam padded rooms, the environmental hazard rooms) are actually pretty cool. It’d be interesting to train some real martial arts in those rooms to see what it’s like to fight on a hard surface in the rain rather than open mat space or in a cage. And it’s good that they’re at least trying to do some full contact…they just do it wrong. Look at the video. What is that going to teach the guy getting “attacked?” If three dudes were trying to beat you down, they wouldn’t be awkwardly smothering you, they’d be stomping the shit out of you and punching you. And they wouldn’t be easily dispatched by some slaps either.

The verdict on Bo Fung Do? Their hearts are in the right place, but pretty much everything else is as far from real fighting as you can get. Check out the rest of their YouTube channel to see what we mean.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].