With all the freak show greatness that comprised this past weekend, we all but forgot to report on some of the matchups that actually, you know, mattered. It’s kind of like when you went to Disney World with the intent of riding Space Mountain until you puked, but ended up stuck at the ring toss game all day because some ginger and his group of middle school friends called your form “faggy” and you HAD TO WIN THAT STUFFED DRAGON TO PROVE THEM WRONG. And we hate to say it, but Bob Sapp and Kimbo Slice will forever be the crappy carnival games that we simply cannot avoid.
In fact, while we were all watching “The Beast’s” record dip below the .500 mark at Saturday’s KSW-19 card (because somehow that just happened), there was a fight that took place earlier on the card that didn’t make us laugh and then immediately hang our heads in shame, believe it or not. We’re talking, of course, about Mamed Khalidov vs. Rodney Wallace. As we’ve stated before, Mamed Khalidov may be the best fighter out there not signed to a major promotion, and it kind of baffles us as to why. The Polish powerhouse’s record currently stands at 25-4, and over the past few years, he has quietly decimated every UFC washout that has crossed his path without batting an eye. Khalidov started out his 2011 season by adding to the legend of Irvin’s Curse, then rounded it out by scoring lightning quick submission victories over Matt Lindland and Jesse Taylor in successive bouts. But like a psychopathic Japanese girl after a mock casting audition, Khalidov is still waiting for that phone call.
Last weekend, he looked to make it four Zuffa vets in a row when he faced off against Rodney “Sho Nuff the Master” Wallace in a middleweight contest. As has become the standard for Khalidov, the bout featured a multitude of spinning based attacks and ended in less than two minutes.
Check out the brutal one punch-KO after the jump.
(The Wallaceberries taste like Wallaceberries!)
With all the freak show greatness that comprised this past weekend, we all but forgot to report on some of the matchups that actually, you know, mattered. It’s kind of like when you went to Disney World with the intent of riding Space Mountain until you puked, but ended up stuck at the ring toss game all day because some ginger and his group of middle school friends called your form “faggy” and you HAD TO WIN THAT STUFFED DRAGON TO PROVE THEM WRONG. And we hate to say it, but Bob Sapp and Kimbo Slice will forever be the crappy carnival games that we simply cannot avoid.
In fact, while we were all watching “The Beast’s” record dip below the .500 mark at Saturday’s KSW-19 card (because somehow that just happened), there was a fight that took place earlier on the card that didn’t make us laugh and then immediately hang our heads in shame, believe it or not. We’re talking, of course, about Mamed Khalidov vs. Rodney Wallace. As we’ve stated before, Mamed Khalidov may be the best fighter out there not signed to a major promotion, and it kind of baffles us as to why. The Polish powerhouse’s record currently stands at 25-4, and over the past few years, he has quietly decimated every UFC washout that has crossed his path without batting an eye. Khalidov started out his 2011 season by adding to the legend of Irvin’s Curse, then rounded it out by scoring lightning quick submission victories over Matt Lindland and Jesse Taylor in successive bouts. But like a psychopathic Japanese girl after a mock casting audition, Khalidov is still waiting for that phone call.
Last weekend, he looked to make it four Zuffa vets in a row when he faced off against Rodney “Sho Nuff the Master” Wallace in a middleweight contest. As has become the standard for Khalidov, the bout featured a multitude of spinning based attacks and ended in less than two minutes.
(Fight starts at the 7:00 mark.)
Now that Hector Lombard has signed with the UFC, Khalidov truly stands alone as a 185er that deserves a shot at the big time. Say what you want about the quality of the opponents he’s faced, but the man has not lost since 2010 (via decision to Jorge Santiago) and has only lost twice in the past seven years. If that doesn’t earn you at least an appearance on a Strikeforce card, then everything we’ve claimed to know about this sport is a lie. Wallace may not have been a star in the UFC by any means, but he managed to take Brian Stann, Jared Hamman, and Phil Davis to the judges scorecards, which is a feat in it’s own right. Khalidov, however, might not even be aware that judges exist in the MMA spectrum — he’s gone the distance just twice in nearly 30 fights and has only been out of the first round a handful of times. We owe it to ourselves to get this guy in the UFC, so let’s follow the words of famed author, comedian, and occasional fighter Forrest Griffin, who once said, “Do you wanna know how fights get done now? If enough people get on Twitter, it’ll happen.”
But today is Mother’s Day, so I’m going to try to be somewhat positive for a few sentences. The good news to come out of this event is that Matt Horwich managed to snap a four fight skid with a third round TKO over Poland’s own Antoni Chmielewski, who was 22-8 coming into this fight. Horwich has always been an interesting character, sort of a non-juiced up hippy Ultimate Warrior. Even though he’s too crazy for most major promotions to take a chance on him (not to mention his pedestrian 27-21 record), he fits in just fine with KSW’s roster. That wouldn’t usually be intended as a compliment, but in whatever section of the multiverse Matt Horwich is from, it is.
Video of Horwich’s victory and the freak show that was Bob Sapp vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski after the jump.
But today is Mother’s Day, so I’m going to try to be somewhat positive for a few sentences. The good news to come out of this event is that Matt Horwich managed to snap a four fight skid with a third round TKO over Poland’s own Antoni Chmielewski, who was 22-8 coming into this fight. Horwich has always been an interesting character, sort of a non-juiced up hippy Ultimate Warrior. Even though he’s too crazy for most major promotions to take a chance on him (not to mention his pedestrian 27-21 record), he fits in just fine with KSW’s roster. That wouldn’t usually be intended as a compliment, but in whatever section of the multiverse Matt Horwich is from, it is.
Okay, positive sentences over. Time to talk about Bob Sapp vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski.
I think it’s safe to say that Bob Sapp can’t do anything right at this point in his career, except be a large, scary looking guy that has zero chance of winning and even less of a chance of hurting his opponent. At the weigh-ins, he put a picture of Pudzianowski on a (presumably uncooked) chicken. See, because he thinks Mariusz is “chicken”, get it? It’s not exactly the most clever way to mock someone- especially when you remember that Bob Sapp just tapped out to a double leg takedown- but he clearly put far more effort into that than he did training.
Perhaps it’s only because he was fighting Bob Sapp, but Mariusz seems to have made strides in his standup. I’m not saying he’s ready for legit competition or anything, but still, props to him for taking this fight seriously. You know the drill by now: Sapp gets caught, Sapp covers up and waits for the “fight” to end, the referee decides that the fight should stop before Bob Sapp actually takes some kind of damage (even though Pudzianowski initially doesn’t oblige), and then everyone is laughing and giving out bro-grabs afterwards, seemingly forgetting that Sapp was “out” just a few seconds ago.
As KSW likes to say, biznes jak zwykle. At least I think it’s them that says that.
Full Results
Mariusz Pudzianowski def. Bob Sapp via TKO, Round One
Mamed Khalidov def. Rodney Wallace via KO, Round One
Michal Materla def. Jay Silva via Majority Decision
Matt Horwich def. Antoni Chmielewski via TKO, Round Three
Aslambek Saidov def. Grigor Aschugbabjan via submission (Kimura), Round One
Marta Chojnoska def. Paulina Suska via submission (Scarf Hold Armlock), Round One
Borys Mankowski def. Marcin Naruszczka via Majority Decision
(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.)
As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.
But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.
And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.
Check out the video, along with the full contest details, after the jump.
(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.)
As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.
But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.
And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.
We’ll give Sapp this; the man has no shame. Or shirts. These are two areas in which we are alike. But unlike us, Sapp actually chooses to address his haters, and deserves at least a little bit of respect for doing so. We know, we never thought we’d actually write the words “Bob Sapp” and “respect” in the same sentence either. Anyway, the contest rules are as follows:
1. Create a 30 second video bashing Sapp’s pathetic, meaningless existence on this planet and why you could be the cornerman to turn it all around.
2. Post your video on your Youtube channel and place it in the reply section of the above video. The video must contain the address “Youtube.com/BobSappTV” at some point.
3. Title your video “BobSappTV Video Contest.”
4. NO PROFANITY
You must be over the age of 21 and have a valid passport to enter. The winner will be chosen on May 13th.
Now, we know some of you possess the ability to be funny from time to time. The same goes twice over for your ability to insult, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Given a muse as great as Sapp, we imagine you could cause some serious emotional damage in a 30 second time frame. We’re talking “send the last fragile remnants of Sapp’s intestinal fortitude crashing to the ground in a hail of metaphorical gunfire” kind of damage. You owe it to yourself, and to the MMA community for that matter, to enter this contest. And if the chance to watch Bob Sapp get viciously KO’d (or hilariously flop) in person isn’t enough to spur your interest, then we’ll give a t-shirt to the best entry sent to [email protected]. Sound good? Then dust off your Panasonic AG-450 S-VHS Reporter camcorders and put your time-tested trash-talking skills to the test!
(Photographic evidence that Sapp used to at least take a punch before calling it quits. Ah, the good old days.)
There are only two things in this world that we here in the CP offices know to be true: Code Red is the without a doubt the best Mountain Dew spin-off of all time, and Bob Sapp will never win another fight. The bearer of perhaps the most ironic nickname in the sport already has two MMA fights lined up in May alone, but decided to kill some time last weekend by participating in a kickboxing match in Slovenia against Rok Strucl.
Though Sapp started off strong, meaning that he didn’t find a way to fake injury before the opening bell had finished resonating, what went down thereafter accomplished something we never thought possible: a new low for “The Beast.”
Join us after the jump for the video.
(Photographic evidence that Sapp used to at least take a punch before calling it quits. Ah, the good old days.)
There are only two things in this world that we here in the CP offices know to be true: Code Red is the without a doubt the best Mountain Dew spin-off of all time, and Bob Sapp will never win another fight. The bearer of perhaps the most ironic nickname in the sport already has two MMA fights lined up in May alone, but decided to kill some time last weekend by participating in a kickboxing match in Slovenia against Rok Strucl.
Though Sapp started off strong, meaning that he didn’t find a way to fake injury before the opening bell had finished resonating, what went down thereafter accomplished something we never thought possible: a new low for “The Beast.”
(Props to 12ozcurls for the find. One can only imagine the kind of S&M websites he was surfing until he arrived at this.)
It shocks me, or perhaps more confuses me, to repeatedly watch someone who has been involved in combat sports for ten years show absolutely zero understanding of even the most fundamental aspects of their discipline. Such is Bob Sapp. The man throws punches like a drunken sorority girl caught in a wind storm, and doesn’t appear to be anything but horrified from a fight’s start to its finish, despite the fact that he usually holds upwards of one hundred pounds on all of his opponents. This is a “man” who defeated Ernesto Hoosttwice for fuck’s sake, and look at him now. He’s like a turd that just keeps circling the drain, picking up pieces of other, more dignified turds that pass him by.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why any fighter who takes their job even remotely serious would agree to fight this pair of clown shoes. If you win, it’s because duh. If you lose…well, you can’t lose, but you get the point. And as if Sapp’s striking display wasn’t pathetic enough, skip ahead to the 1:20 mark for the beginning of the end. How does that end come about, you ask? During a typical Sapp exchange, which resembles something out of a Tasmanian Devil cartoon, “The Beast” simply falls to the ground when given the opening. Wikipedia currently has the loss listed as an “invisible punch,” which is the most correct description one could offer when trying to determine what exactly caused Sapp to come tumbling to the ground. Was it the delayed aftereffects of a liver strike? A twisted ankle? Or perhaps even a case of chronic vertigo?
Nope. It was just Bob Sapp being Bob Sapp. It’s incredible to realize that there are people in this world who can fail at failing, but Bob Sapp has brought that notion to light and nearly burned out my retina with it. And as the crowd released an oral mixture of pity and shame, often known as laughter, I yet again found myself stupefied by Sapp’s incompetence. Not only can the man not fight his way out of a wet napkin, he can’t even lose in convincing fashion.
But I’ve had enough.
I am calling you out, Sapp. You have disgraced more than one sport that I hold close to my heart for far too long, and it’s time to stop. That’s why I issue you the following challenge, you product of unchecked prison rape. You eater of bovine excrement. You human compost. You pud. Me versus you in a MMA match in the town of your choosing. The loser must sever all ties with the sport, be it as a fighter, a writer, or whatever it is you dare to call yourself these days. I may only weigh 160 pounds soaking wet, but after witnessing the walking travesty that you’ve called a career over the past decade, I can say with confidence that I would whoop your ass from here to the ebola-infested cave from whence you came. So bring it.
(Just so you know, Rolles is the one on the bottom.)
Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the insane hope that Fedor Emelianenko would be the man to challenge Junior Dos Santos for the UFC Heavyweight title –all six of you– as the rumor currently circulating the MMA blogosphere has “The Last Emperor’s” potential opponent bar set a little…lower. Go figure.
Yes, according to none other than Rolles Gracie himself, via his Twitter, it looks like the other member of the Gracie clan to go one-and-done in the UFC is currently negotiating with M-1 Global to put the fight together this summer, stating:
Where there is smoke there is fire. My manager is under negotiation with M1. We’re really close to make this fight against Fedor to happen.
(Just so you know, Rolles is the one on the bottom.)
Sad news for those of you who were still clinging to the insane hope that Fedor Emelianenko would be the man to challenge Junior Dos Santos for the UFC Heavyweight title –all six of you– as the rumor currently circulating the MMA blogosphere has “The Last Emperor’s” potential opponent bar set a little…lower. Go figure.
Yes, according to none other than Rolles Gracie himself, via his Twitter, it looks like the other member of the Gracie clan to go one-and-done in the UFC is currently negotiating with M-1 Global to put the fight together this summer, stating:
Where there is smoke there is fire. My manager is under negotiation with M1. We’re really close to make this fight against Fedor to happen.
Fedor was previously rumored to be fighting in St. Petersberg, Russia on June 21st against an unnamed opponent; we’re going to assume that this will be the location that hosts their showdown.
Emelianenko last fought at Dream: Fight for Japan on New Year’s Eve, where he picked up a quick and violent first round KO over former Olympic gold medalist Satoshi Ishii. Prior to that, he scored a unanimous decision over UFC veteran Jeff Monson in November, a win which snapped a three fight losing streak under the Strikeforce banner.
Since getting bounced from the UFC following a disastrous first round TKO at the hands of Joey Beltran at UFC 109, Gracie has scored 2 and 1/3 wins in a row against opponents with a combined record of 23-34. That 1/3rd we’re referring to would be his most recent win, a first round submission via punches over Bob “Gunna Tap” Sapp at One FC 2. At this point in Sapp’s career, a win over him should not be considered an entire victory, because that would assume that he actually fought back.
In case you aren’t exactly picking up what we’re putting down, Rolles Gracie is a dead man.
We’re not even going to talk up Gracie’s incredible ground game like it would present some possible outlet for victory. Citing Fedor’s loss to Fabricio Werdum as further proof that Gracie stood a chance would be an insult to your intelligence. Fedor is going to steamroll Gracie, probably inside of three minutes, and the world will halfheartedly watch with disappointment as Emelianenko continues to fight beneath his level.
(As with the Mona Lisa’s eyes, Thompson’s ear seems to just follow you around the room, doesn’t it?)
Indian upstart promotion Super Fight League recently announced the pairing of James Thompson and former WWE star Bobby Lashley as the main event of its third card, which will also feature Trevor Prangley, Doug Marshall, and Zelg Galesic in action.
This is the point where we stop discussing the matchups at hand and get to the news you really need to know: Super Fight League is crashing and burning like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Josh Barnett couldn’t melt a plastic cup with his urine fast enough to destroy SFL, which is beginning to look like it will be but a distant memory by the end of the fiscal year. Despite the fact that viewership is free to anyone with a computer, internet access, and the ability to spell Youtube, SFL already seems to be on wobblier legs than River Phoenix outside The Viper Room (too soon?).
And it’s pretty clear why.
Heading into their first event, the India-based promotion showcased an emphasis on flare, throwing fancy promos and even their own theme song into the mix in an effort to spur interest in a sport that their country had yet to build the smallest of followings for. This was their first problem, a lack of awareness. Where Asian-based promotion OneFC has thrived thanks to both collaborative efforts with local promotions and a strong, preexisting fan base in the area they chose to promote within, Super Fight League’s co-chairmen, Raj Kundra and Sanjay Dutt, opted to rely on a combination of Bollywood celebrities and music industry execs to help promote a new sport that they themselves weren’t truly familiar with. In fact, many of the celebrities in attendance, and most of the 300,000 India-based Youtube viewers who managed to make the first card a slight success, where under the impression that MMA, and specifically SFL, consisted of over-the-top, WWE style antics and entertainment, largely due to how the promotion chose to well…promote themselves.
(As with the Mona Lisa’s eyes, Thompson’s ear seems to just follow you around the room, doesn’t it?)
Indian upstart promotion Super Fight League recently announced the pairing of James Thompson and former WWE star Bobby Lashley as the main event of its third card, which will also feature Trevor Prangley, Doug Marshall, and Zelg Galesic in action.
This is the point where we stop discussing the matchups at hand and get to the news you really need to know: Super Fight League is crashing and burning like nothing we’ve ever seen before. Josh Barnett couldn’t melt a plastic cup with his urine fast enough to destroy SFL, which is beginning to look like it will be but a distant memory by the end of the fiscal year. Despite the fact that viewership is free to anyone with a computer, internet access, and the ability to spell Youtube, SFL already seems to be on wobblier legs than River Phoenix outside The Viper Room (too soon?).
And it’s pretty clear why.
Heading into their first event, the India-based promotion showcased an emphasis on flare, throwing fancy promos and even their own theme song into the mix in an effort to spur interest in a sport that their country had yet to build the smallest of followings for. This was their first problem, a lack of awareness. Where Asian-based promotion OneFC has thrived thanks to both collaborative efforts with local promotions and a strong, preexisting fan base in the area they chose to promote within, Super Fight League’s co-chairmen, Raj Kundra and Sanjay Dutt, opted to rely on a combination of Bollywood celebrities and music industry execs to help promote a new sport that they themselves weren’t truly familiar with. In fact, many of the celebrities in attendance, and most of the 300,000 India-based Youtube viewers who managed to make the first card a slight success, where under the impression that MMA, and specifically SFL, consisted of over-the-top, WWE style antics and entertainment, largely due to how the promotion chose to well…promote themselves.
When treated to MMA on full display, many of those same celebrities have since declared that MMA should be banned in India, and you can’t blame them for being mislead by the bright lights and poor marketing. Take a look at SFL’s venue choices, for instance. The promotion’s first event was held at the Adheri Sports Complex in Mumbai, a massive indoor complex capable of holding up to 20,000 people. The costs to rent such a venue doesn’t offer a lot of wiggle room, financially speaking, especially for an upstart promotion in every sense of the word. But they sure do look cool, don’t they? According to Indian sources, SFL 1 only managed to pull in around 300 paying customers. Add to that the cost of the fighter’s salaries, and there is no way it didn’t end up in the red. But perhaps the most obvious argument that Super Fight League was truly a promotion favoring style over substance was the inclusion of Bob Sapp in it’s very first main event.
OneFC made the same mistake once, but you can be damn sure they won’t do it again. Sapp is a walking publicity stunt, a carnival act, and the easiest way to show the world that you haven’t the slightest clue what the sport you claim to be promoting is actually about, let alone who is watching it. To a lesser extent, the same can be said about Thompson. Though it is a given that a promotion can only acquire so many great fighters with their limited budgets, the money SFL spent on the aforementioned flash and flare could have easily been used to pull in guys like Hector Lombard, Mamed Khalidov, the recently UFC-released Jorge Santiago and other lesser known, but much more respected, mixed martial artists. The simple matter is, fans were outraged and angered by the obvious work that was Sapp/Thompson, and it showed with the second event’s complete failure to pull in viewers.
Just take a look at the fight videos of SFL 2. Sure, you will notice that the card is actually an improvement over its predecessor in terms of production and matchmaking, but you will also notice that there was no one in attendance. Reports have had claimed the number of attendees to be around 1/5th of the T-Box Mobile Arena’s 5000 seat capacity. Think that’s bad? It gets worse. Despite signing an exclusive deal with Youtube, SFL 2 only managed to scrounge up an abysmal 3,000 views. That’s a ninety-nine percent drop from their first event, folks. And who do they decide to let headline their third event? A couple more freak show fighters that are almost universally reviled by MMA fans. One can expect those paltry numbers to drop even further with marketing tactics like these.
At the end of the day, we could be wrong about the direction SFL heads, which we predict will be rapidly downward in a spiraling motion. In either case, it appears that SFL seems to be having the same problems that EliteXC had, forgoing an actual investment in the sport in favor of overblown production values, laughably commentary, and a lack of thrilling, or even remotely exciting matchups. And let’s not even get into the ridiculous size of that ring, which looks like they threw a tarp over a motocross track and said, “Fuck it.”
The way we see it, SFL has two options; continue doing what they’re doing and be left penniless, or start focusing on what really makes a MMA promotion, and the sport itself, successful. To quote August Burns Red:
Lucky for you rock bottom is in sight, Your wake up call is set for now, And the trail you have followed has come all the way to the end, I hope you survive the crash
