Coinciding with the 2012 US Open Of Surfing in Huntington Beach, the UFC recently held an open tryout, if you will, to find the newest card-carrying ring girl for its prestigious organization. And even though we already had the perfect candidate in mind, hundreds of women showed up to the casting call for the chance to strut their stuff around an octagon, blow kisses into the camera, and shun the pathetic advances of drunken fans until they are inevitably fired when they turn 25. Ahhhh, America.
As it turns out, the Huntington auditions were no walk in the park: The day began with a clothes-off pose-off, as is tradition, before the advancing contestants were forced to undergo a vigorous test of body, mind, and spirit, which included a five mile swim, a 100 question multiple choice assessment, a talent show, and a horse semen chug-off (at Joe Rogan’s request). The remaining contestants must have been really funny or something is what we’re saying, because Brittney Palmer they are not.
In either case, check out a bunch of the candidates after the jump, head over to Transworld Surf to check out the rest, and let us know what you think. (Author’s note: Not about the picture viewer. I don’t care about your frivolous first world problems.)
Coinciding with the 2012 US Open Of Surfing in Huntington Beach, the UFC recently held an open tryout, if you will, to find the newest card-carrying ring girl for its prestigious organization. And even though we already had the perfect candidate in mind, hundreds of women showed up to the casting call for the chance to strut their stuff around an octagon, blow kisses into the camera, and shun the pathetic advances of drunken fans until they are inevitably fired when they turn 25. Ahhhh, America.
As it turns out, the Huntington auditions were no walk in the park: The day began with a clothes-off pose-off, as is tradition, before the advancing contestants were forced to undergo a vigorous test of body, mind, and spirit, which included a five mile swim, a 100 question multiple choice assessment, a talent show, and a horse semen chug-off (at Joe Rogan’s request). The remaining contestants must have been really funny or something is what we’re saying, because Brittney Palmer they are not.
In either case, check out a bunch of the candidates after the jump, head over to Transworld Surf to check out the rest, and let us know what you think. (Author’s note: Not about the picture viewer. I don’t care about your frivolous first world problems.)
Judging from this video, the consensus Hottest Woman in MMA has some amazing new photos in store for us, and though it’s kind of optimistic for anybody to be shooting a 2013 calendar, we respect Brittney Palmer for giving it a shot. You’ll be able to purchase the calendar on BrittneyPalmer.com, where she’s currently selling prints of her paintings of Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix, and…Dana White? Good times.
Get psyched for Brittney Palmer’s new calendar by checking out a few of the 2012 edition’s highlights after the jump.
Judging from this video, the consensus Hottest Woman in MMA has some amazing new photos in store for us, and though it’s kind of optimistic for anybody to be shooting a 2013 calendar, we respect Brittney Palmer for giving it a shot. You’ll be able to purchase the calendar on BrittneyPalmer.com, where she’s currently selling prints of her paintings of Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix, and…Dana White? Good times.
Get psyched for Brittney Palmer’s new calendar by checking out a few of the 2012 edition’s highlights after the jump.
Well ho-lee shit. It seems that if you do enough digging on any given ring girl, you will find out that she has done porn at one point in her life. According to a few unconfirmed sources from around the MMA blogosphere, it appears that Chandella Powell will be joining the ranks of Logan Stanton, Natasha Wicks, and Edith Labelle as a former UFC ring girl due to…get this…failing to disclose that she once appeared in a couple softcore porn photo shoots and videos under the name “Mariah Ashton.” What was originally passed off as a common bestiality flick was recently discovered to contain none other than the first ever African American UFC ring girl going “toe-to-toe” with another young starlet. How could you keep this from us, Carmen?
As we all know, Chandella was absent from the UFC’s FUEL TV debut last night, and hasn’t said a word on her Twitter account since Saturday. And since we also know that it is physically impossible for any woman, let alone a public figure, to ignore their Twitter for more than an hour or so, this can only mean that these rumors are unquestionably true. We are not going to provide links to any of the evidence against Ms. Powell, because if you haven’t searched the internet and found them yourself by this point I would be sorely disappointed, Potato Nation.
To give you some perspective on how to deal with this, join us after the jump to see how a few members of the CP staff coped with the heartbreaking news, via a string of emails.
(Chandella as her alter ego Mariah Ashton.)
Well ho-lee shit. It seems that if you do enough digging on any given ring girl, you will find out that she has done porn at one point in her life. According to a few unconfirmed sources from around the MMA blogosphere, it appears that Chandella Powell will be joining the ranks of Logan Stanton, Natasha Wicks, and Edith Labelle as a former UFC ring girl due to…get this…failing to disclose that she once appeared in a couple softcore porn photo shoots and videos under the name “Mariah Ashton.” What was originally passed off as a common bestiality flick was recently discovered to contain none other than the first ever African American UFC ring girl going “toe-to-toe” with another young starlet. How could you keep this from us, Carmen?
As we all know, Chandella was absent from the UFC’s FUEL TV debut last night, and hasn’t said a word on her Twitter account since Saturday. And since we also know that it is physically impossible for any woman, let alone a public figure, to ignore their Twitter for more than an hour or so, this can only mean that these rumors are unquestionably true. We are not going to provide links to any of the evidence against Ms. Powell, because if you haven’t searched the internet and found them yourself by this point I would be sorely disappointed, Potato Nation.
To give you some perspective on how to deal with this, check out how a few members of the CP staff coped with the heartbreaking news, via a string of emails.
JJ: Does anyone know if there’s any truth to this? Apparently Chandella was fired for her secretive past life as a softcore pornstar.
BG: I was going to ask if you guys saw those photos of Chandella munching that chick’s box. (What defines “softcore”? Because there’s no dick in it?)
MR: Anyone check her Twitter? No pun intended… *shudder*
RX: Her Twitter has been silent since the 11th, I believe. And softcore = “simulated,” no penetration sex. I’d have thought a Penthouse guy would know that, BG. #BOOMHEADSHOT
RX: One more thing, her profile is still up at UFC.com, and she’s still 2 years old.
MR: They started posting their ages in horse years back when Edith was with the company.
BG: Absolutely nothing since last Saturday. That pretty much proves it. Farewell Chandella, and good luck on your journey to that Great Art School in the Sky.
CC: So she’s being punished for sowing her wild oats? (<—-see what I did there?)
RX: Careful, fellas. If this gets any funnier, it could wind up on CP as a “round table discussion.”
JJ: I imagine she’ll be off to greener pastures. She was getting too old for this shit anyway.
CC: She shouldn’t have looked her gifted contract in the mouth.
RX: Just somebody tell me Brittney’s nom de poon.
Please.
I’ll pay you.
–FIN–
If this is truly the case, we would like to wish Chandella the best of luck in her future, which will likely consist of a semester at art school before launching into the hardcore industry like an adult. Remember Chandella, nudity is only cool with the UFC if Hugh Hefner is involved.
