Tag: Douglas Lima

Booking Roundup: Bellator Welterweight Tournament Set, Story/Edwards Get Next Opponents


(It took forty minutes and 13 Vodka cranberries before War Machine realized that this wasn’t the Jenna Jameson cutout he had ordered.) 

Although Bellator’s current bidding war with Eddie Alvarez has snagged all of the headlines, the promotion actually does have a card worth discussing at the end of the month in Bellator 86. Including King Mo’s promotional debut and a headlining welterweight title fight between Ben Askren and…WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AWAY FROM ME. Askren will be fighting Karl Amoussou, who stands a better chance at ending the most uneventful title reign in MMA history than most of Askren’s challengers so far. I’M SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS.

In news you might define as “exciting,” elsewhere on the card will be the first round of action in Bellator’s next welterweight tournament, which features such former tournament participants as Ben Saunders, Douglas Lima, and Raul Amaya taking on Koffi Adzisto, Michail Tsarev, and Jose Reyes respectively. Also booked for the tourney is cursed in America fighter and recipient of truly the worst beating of 2012, Marius Zaromskis, who will be squaring off against Brent Weedman. Nearly half of these participants have faced one another before (Saunders has fought Amaya and Lima, who has fought Weedman) and six of the eight men have been knocked out of a Bellator welterweight tournament before. I’m not sure what to do with that information, but there it is.

As we know, both War Machine and Paul Daley were pulled from the tourney following a knee injury and a pub brawl, respectively. And in the twisted nightmare this universe has truly become, War Machine was not responsible for the latter. Bellator 86 goes down from the Winstar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma on January 23rd.

And in UFC fight booking news…


(It took forty minutes and 13 Vodka cranberries before War Machine realized that this wasn’t the Jenna Jameson cutout he had ordered.) 

Although Bellator’s current bidding war with Eddie Alvarez has snagged all of the headlines, the promotion actually does have a card worth discussing at the end of the month in Bellator 86. Including King Mo’s promotional debut and a headlining welterweight title fight between Ben Askren and…WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AWAY FROM ME. Askren will be fighting Karl Amoussou, who stands a better chance at ending the most uneventful title reign in MMA history than most of Askren’s challengers so far. I’M SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS.

In news you might define as “exciting,” elsewhere on the card will be the first round of action in Bellator’s next welterweight tournament, which features such former tournament participants as Ben Saunders, Douglas Lima, and Raul Amaya taking on Koffi Adzisto, Michail Tsarev, and Jose Reyes respectively. Also booked for the tourney is cursed in America fighter and recipient of truly the worst beating of 2012, Marius Zaromskis, who will be squaring off against Brent Weedman. Nearly half of these participants have faced one another before (Saunders has fought Amaya and Lima, who has fought Weedman) and six of the eight men have been knocked out of a Bellator welterweight tournament before. I’m not sure what to do with that information, but there it is.

As we know, both War Machine and Paul Daley were pulled from the tourney following a knee injury and a pub brawl, respectively. And in the twisted nightmare this universe has truly become, War Machine was not responsible for the latter. Bellator 86 goes down from the Winstar World Casino in Thackerville, Oklahoma on January 23rd.

And in UFC fight booking news…

After having his brains literally squeezed through his nose by Demian Maia at UFC 153, Rick Story has been booked in a likely win or GTFO match against Canadian brawler Sean Pierson at UFC 158. After compiling an incredible 6-1 run to start his UFC career, Story has seemingly fallen apart at the wheels since being upset by Charlie Brenneman at UFC Live 4. He’s now dropped 3 of his last 4, with his lone victory coming against UFC newcomer Brock Jardine last June. Pierson, on the other hand, has had a slight career turnaround as of late, following up a pair of tough losses to Jake Ellenberger and Dong Hyun Kim in 2011 with a two-fight streak of his own in 2012.

UFC 158 transpires at the Bell Centre in Montreal on March 16th.

UFC newcomer Isaac Vallie-Flagg is set for the toughest test of his career at UFC 156, where he will take on 60 fight veteran Yves Edwards. The “Thugjitsu Master” most recently did what no man has been able to do when he knocked out Jeremy Stephens at UFC on FOX 5. While it’s quite a feat considering who Stephens has faced, Edwards will have a hell of a fight on his hands in Vallie-Flagg, a Jackson’s MMA product who has not dropped a fight since October of 2007.

Now here’s a supercut of “Pre-Mortem One Liners” I stumbled across earlier today, for those of you who cared enough to read all the way to the bottom of this article.

–J. Jones

Bellator Premieres “Vote for the Fight” for Spike Debut Featuring War Machine, Ben Saunders, Douglas Lima, and Paul Daley

Although the UFC has easily secured the top position for “Most Interesting News of the Day,” their rivals over at Bellator have recently revealed a pretty unique feature of their own for their upcoming season on Spike TV. Besides the fact that they are completely exploiting War Machine’s less than positive personal history as a hype tool for his promotional debut*[AWESOME], Bjorn and the boys have debuted an interactive web series dubbed “Vote for the Fight,” which allows you to, wait for it, vote for the very first fight of their 2013 season on Spike TV.

Fans will be given the option to match up any of the following four fighters: Ben Saunders, Paul Daley, Douglas Lima, and our boy War Machine. In addition, Spike TV will be airing a new episode of the web series — which will provide some background and behind-the-scenes info on each of the participants — each Thursday.

Part 1 is above and Part 2 awaits you after the jump.

Although the UFC has easily secured the top position for “Most Interesting News of the Day,” their rivals over at Bellator have recently revealed a pretty unique feature of their own for their upcoming season on Spike TV. Besides the fact that they are completely exploiting War Machine’s less than positive personal history as a hype tool for his promotional debut*[AWESOME], Bjorn and the boys have debuted an interactive web series dubbed “Vote for the Fight,” which allows you to, wait for it, vote for the very first fight of their 2013 season on Spike TV.

Fans will be given the option to match up any of the following four fighters: Ben Saunders, Paul Daley, Douglas Lima, and our boy War Machine. In addition, Spike TV will be airing a new episode of the web series — which will provide some background and behind-the-scenes info on each of the participants — each Thursday.

An interesting side note is that none of these gentlemen will be appearing in Bellator’s next welterweight tournament. In fact, only two of them have ever met inside the cage before — Lima and Saunders — with Lima defeating Saunders by second round knockout at Bellator 57. One would think that Saunders would want a chance to earn some redemption against Lima or possibly face off against his fellow TUF 6 alum in War Machine, but according to his Twitter account, Saunders would much rather test the waters against arguably the most dangerous striker of them all: Paul “Semtex” Daley, who is fresh off a first round stomping of Rudy Bears in his Bellator debut. Lima, on the other hand, recently rebounded from his failed title bid against Ben Azzzzkren with a first round TKO win over Jacob Ortiz at Bellator 79.

But you don’t care about any of that. What you care about is who will War Machine be fighting next and will he actually make it to said fight without incarcerating himself in the mean time. The last time Machine aka Prison Mike was released from the clink, he broke Roger Huerta’s ribs and TKO’d that nail painting ninny in the third round, so you best believe that whoever he faces is going to get torn through like a bologna sandwich. We’d prefer if that someone was Askren, because everyone knows that the only one way to defend his narcolepsy-inducing lay-n-pray is with the savage, prison-based form of fighting known only as ape-n-rape, which War Machine has all but mastered by this point in his career. But we digress.

So what do you think, Potato Nation? Is Bellator’s new interactive feature a good thing for fans, or will they only screw things up worse than when they picked David Cook over David Archuleta? BUT D-ARCH WAS SOOO DREAMY!!

*Because when you think about it, prison is basically a limitless training facility to improve your MMA game if your willing to fork over the sanctity of your butthole every now and again. Reach for the stars, kids!

–J. Jones

Twitter Beef of the Day: Apparently Ben Askren Doesn’t Have any UFC Plans Set for the Near Future


(Always the craftiest of the Cabbage Patch Kids, “Funky” would wait until nap time to pounce upon his enemies.) 

Although Ben Askren may be the king of Bellator’s welterweight division for the time being, he certainly isn’t earning any new fans inside or outside of the cage, and in fact is likely losing them in droves. On the heels of yet another tepid, albeit title-retaining performance against Douglas Lima at Bellator 64, Askren returned to his day job as the most successful Serta mattress salesman in the world and decided to start shit-stirring with UFC President Dana White.

It started when DW stated at the UFC on FUEL post-fight press conference that it would be “impossible” to administer random drug tests to the over three hundred members of the UFC’s current roster. The general public’s initial response to the notion was that of skepticism. While it would be incredibly difficult to perform random drug tests on fighters based all over the planet, it would not be impossible, and would help avoid situations like the Alistair Overeem/UFC 146 calamity that the UFC currently finds themselves facing.

Apparently not impressed with White’s view on the matter, Askren took to Twitter and let his feelings be known:

@Benaskren
The USOC random tests Olympic athletes in all sports. Dana saying testing his fighters would be impossible is a bold faced lie.

Who knew that the most significant blow Askren ever threw would be to that of his own career?


(Always the craftiest of the Cabbage Patch Kids, “Funky” would wait until nap time to pounce upon his enemies.) 

Although Ben Askren may be the king of Bellator’s welterweight division for the time being, he certainly isn’t earning any new fans inside or outside of the cage, and in fact is likely losing them in droves. On the heels of yet another tepid, albeit title-retaining performance against Douglas Lima at Bellator 64, Askren returned to his day job as the most successful Serta mattress salesman in the world and decided to start shit-stirring with UFC President Dana White.

It started when DW stated at the UFC on FUEL post-fight press conference that it would be “impossible” to administer random drug tests to the over three hundred members of the UFC’s current roster. The general public’s initial response to the notion was that of skepticism. While it would be incredibly difficult to perform random drug tests on fighters based all over the planet, it would not be impossible, and would help avoid situations like the Alistair Overeem/UFC 146 calamity that the UFC currently finds themselves facing.

Apparently not impressed with White’s view on the matter, Askren took to Twitter and let his feelings be known:

@Benaskren
The USOC random tests Olympic athletes in all sports. Dana saying testing his fighters would be impossible is a bold faced lie.

Who knew that the most significant blow Askren ever threw would be to that of his own career?

When the information was relayed to White himself, the UFC Prez proceeded to lay the smack down on Askren’s monkey ass in a few short sentences:

@danawhite
Dana White@thefightweek @benaskren when ambien can’t sleep it takes Ben Askren. The most boring fighter in MMA history. I would rather watch flys f**k

Having been witness to both a Ben Askren fight and the fornication of flies (where Seth is from they consider that Friday night-worthy entertainment) we can assuredly say that we are with DW on this one. Simply put, Askren has been responsible for more cases of nap-induced trauma than narcolepsy and sleep fighting combined. And we’re not referring to his submission game. The man manages to redefine “lay-n-pray” with every performance, to the point that the “praying” aspect of the phrase has become attributable to the audience members who, upon realizing that there are four rounds left of his “fight,” wish upon a star for death. Sweet, untimely death.

He’s not an exciting fighter is what we’re saying.

And apparently he’s not an astute businessman either.

-J. Jones

Bellator 64 Recap: A Busy Night for Judges

An artist’s rendering of what Askren’s ground and pound might look like (Photo: Sherdog.com)

I’m not going to say that this was the most boring Bellator card in recent memory, but I will tell you that my DVR got tired of recording it and gave up before the Welterweight title fight had even begun. One of the risks of live televised fights is that they’ll go over the allotted time frame, particularly during a decision-laden event like Bellator 64. For those fans who don’t appreciate the nuances of champion Ben Askren’s suffocating ground game, having the evening’s finale blotted from your television may have been a blessing in disguise.

This season’s Bantamweight tournament kicked off with a quarterfinal pairing of undefeated twenty year old Rodrigo Lima and the seasoned Hiroshi Nakamura. Lima found himself on his back throughout the fight, but took no rest on the canvas as he tirelessly worked for every submission in the book. Nakamura—whose 87% win-by-decision record could compete with any of the UFC’s top grinders—kept all four limbs out of serious danger and stifled Lima’s ground game long enough to launch some ground and pound in the third frame. His takedowns and top control, coupled with a point awarded for absorbing a pair of unintentional knees to the nuts, were enough to bring home the unanimous 29-27 decision.

An artist’s rendering of what Askren’s ground and pound might look like (Photo: Sherdog.com)

I’m not going to say that this was the most boring Bellator card in recent memory, but I will tell you that my DVR got tired of recording it and gave up before the Welterweight title fight had even begun. One of the risks of live televised fights is that they’ll go over the allotted time frame, particularly during a decision-laden event like Bellator 64. For those fans who don’t appreciate the nuances of champion Ben Askren‘s suffocating ground game, having the evening’s finale blotted from your television may have been a blessing in disguise.

This season’s Bantamweight tournament kicked off with a quarterfinal pairing of undefeated twenty year old Rodrigo Lima and the seasoned Hiroshi Nakamura. Lima found himself on his back throughout the fight, but took no rest on the canvas as he tirelessly worked for every submission in the book. Nakamura—whose 87% win-by-decision record could compete with any of the UFC’s top grinders—kept all four limbs out of serious danger and stifled Lima’s ground game long enough to launch some ground and pound in the third frame. His takedowns and top control, coupled with a point awarded for absorbing a pair of unintentional knees to the nuts, were enough to bring home the unanimous 29-27 decision.

In other Bantamweight tourney action, underdog Travis Marx showed little fear in welcoming Masakatsu Ueda to the U-S-of-A. The Japanese fighter was the heavy favorite in his promotional debut, but not heavy enough to deal with the size and strength of his opponent. Marx ragdolled Ueda with a massive slam in the first round, but the former Shooto champ was unfazed by the throw and started working for a kimura on impact. Marx escaped and continued to use his wrestling and strength advantage to win the grappling exchanges and maintain control when jockeying for position on the ground. All three judges scored the fight for Marx 29-28.

Brazilians Marlon Sandro and Alexandre Bezerra squared off to see who would advance to the Featherweight tournament finals. Sandro was able to get off early and often in round one, finding a home for his hands and taking ‘Popo’s’ legs out from under him with kicks while Bezerra looked to counter with a big left that never came. The exchanges played out the same in round two with both men throwing but neither unloading on their opponent. Bezerra took over as the aggressor in the final frame, driving in on Sandro and suplexing him to the mat. After a bizarre standup by referee Yves Lavigne—which came as the two dueled for leglocks—Popo rocked his hero twice with heavy hands, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the two round deficit. Sandro took home the split decision victory and will move on to the finals.

The definition of love is knowing how the Ben Askren-Douglas Lima bout played out and still watching it for you bastards. Askren employed his grappling-heavy attack to take Lima’s stand-up out of the equation, and while the challenger was able to delay some of “Funky’s” takedowns he could not keep off of his back for any significant length of time. Askren’s ground and pound was more active than it was damaging, but he dominated Lima for all five rounds. Lima attempted sweeps and threatened with multiple armbars, but he could never seize control of the fight from from the champ. Both the 50-45 decision and the boos from the audience were unanimous. The win marks six straight victories via scorecard for Askren, a fitting end to the evening’s action.

Full Results: (via FightoftheNight.com)

Main Card:

Ben Askren def. Douglas Lima via unanimous decision (50-45, 50-45, 50-45)
Marlon Sandro def. Alexandre Bezerra via split decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)
Travis Marx def. Masakatsu Ueda via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Hiroshi Nakamura def. Rodigo Lima via unanimous decision (29-27, 29-27, 29-27)

Prelims:

Mike Richman def. Chris Horodecki via knockout (punches) at 1:23 of Round 1
Chad Laprise def. Josh Taveirne via submission (triangle choke) at 2:48 of Round 1
Kyle Prepolec def. Lance Snow via submission (arm-bar) at 2:54 of Round 1
Elias Theodorou def. Rich Lictawa via verbal submission (blindness) at 0:33 of Round 3
Nordine Taleb def. Matt Secor via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-24)
Taylor Solomon def. Jason Fischer via via technical submission (rear-naked choke) at 4:59 of Round 3

Bellator 57: Lima, Shlemenko Punch Tickets to Title Shots

(Saunders-Lima, via Zombie Prophet)

While every fight fan in North America turned to FOX to catch the UFC’s broadcast debut, then made their way to pay-per-view to witness boxing’s continued fall from legitimacy, the family members of Bellator’s fighters and people hoping to catch reruns of “Daria” headed over to MTV 2 for the conclusion of their Season 5 welterweight and middleweight tournaments.

Ben Saunders opened his match by trying to take Douglas Lima’s head off with a series of kicks, but when those failed to meet their mark the two fighters clinched and headed for the cage where they’d jockey for position and trade a few obligatory knees and punches. Thrice referee Yves Lavigne separated the pair only to see them return to the fence and grind the fight to a halt. With under a minute left, Lima caught a kick and slammed Saunders to the mat but was instantly swept and mounted. “Killa B” closed out the round in control and dropping a score of hard, short elbows on Lima’s skull. Saunders drove in for the clinch at the onset of round two, but yet another break by Lavigne gave Lima the space he needed to work. “The Phenom” slipped a Saunders right and countered with one of his own. That one punch would be enough. Saunders crumbled to the mat and Lima followed up with hammerfists until shoved away. Lima’s effort earned him the tournament championship, $100 G’s, and a shot at Welterweight Champion Ben Askren.

(Saunders-Lima, via Zombie Prophet)

While every fight fan in North America turned to FOX to catch the UFC’s broadcast debut, then made their way to pay-per-view to witness boxing’s continued fall from legitimacy, the family members of Bellator’s fighters and people hoping to catch reruns of “Daria” headed over to MTV 2 for the conclusion of their Season 5 welterweight and middleweight tournaments.

Ben Saunders opened his match by trying to take Douglas Lima’s head off with a series of kicks, but when those failed to meet their mark the two fighters clinched and headed for the cage where they’d jockey for position and trade a few obligatory knees and punches. Thrice referee Yves Lavigne separated the pair only to see them return to the fence and grind the fight to a halt. With under a minute left, Lima caught a kick and slammed Saunders to the mat but was instantly swept and mounted. “Killa B” closed out the round in control and dropping a score of hard, short elbows on Lima’s skull. Saunders drove in for the clinch at the onset of round two, but yet another break by Lavigne gave Lima the space he needed to work. “The Phenom” slipped a Saunders right and countered with one of his own. That one punch would be enough. Saunders crumbled to the mat and Lima followed up with hammerfists until shoved away. Lima’s effort earned him the tournament championship, $100 G’s, and a shot at Welterweight Champion Ben Askren.

(Shlemenko-Vianna, via Zombie Prophet)   

Vitor Vianna was game early on to throw down with Bellator’s Whirling Dervish of knockouts, Alexander Shlemenko, but he was ultimately outgunned by the Russian’s unorthodox arsenal. Though he showed a healthy respect for Shlemenko’s spinning attacks, Vianna stood his ground and, though out struck, found a home for his kicks and combinations in the first round. From there however Vianna’s caution grew to withdrawl; he failed to engage and counter Shlemenko, which allowed the Russian to pick his shots and dictate the exchanges. Shlemenko took the fight on all three score cards to secure the unanimous decision and earn his rematch against Bellator Middleweight champ Hector Lombard.

Thanks, Bellator, for proving that tournaments can be completed in a timely fashion. Thanks as well for giving your champs fights that actually mean something.

Full Results (via MMAJunkie.com):

MAIN CARD
• Douglas Lima def. Ben Saunders via TKO (strikes) – Round 2, 1:21 – wins welterweight tournament
• Alexander Shlemenko def. Vitor Vianna via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 30-27) – wins middleweight tournament
• Roger Hollett def. John Hawk via split decision (28-29, 29-28, 29-28)
• Alexandre Bezerra def. Doug Evans via submission (heel hook) – Round 1, 4:04
PRELIMINARY CARD
• Matt Van Buren def. Shawn Levesque via submission (rear-naked choke) – Round 1, 4:38
• Chris Horodecki vs. Mike Corey declared majority draw (29-28 Horodecki, 28-28, 28-28)
• Dave Jansen def. Ashkar Morvari via submission (rear-naked choke) Round 2, 2:47
• Denis Puric def. Chuck Mady via TKO (injury) – Round 2, 5:00
• Eric Moon def. Josh Shockley via submission (guillotine choke) – Round 1, 0:35
• Taylor Solomon def. Mike Sledzion via TKO (strikes) – Round 1, 1:10

Weekend GIF Round-up: Rashad Gets Heckled, Lima Kills Lozano, Aldo Takes a Sip and Jimmo Gets Fouled


(Rashad gets booed. Forrest gets giddy.GIF courtesy of ZombieProphet)

We figured you could all use a little entertainment to help you through another case of the Mondays, so we’ve compiled a few of the weekend’s GIF-worthy moments for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy more animated goodness after the jump.


(Rashad gets booed. Forrest gets giddy.GIF courtesy of ZombieProphet)

We figured you could all use a little entertainment to help you through another case of the Mondays, so we’ve compiled a few of the weekend’s GIF-worthy moments for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.


(Douglas Lima emphatically secures a slot in the Bellator welterweight tourney finals)


(Sokoudjou lands an illegal knee on Jimmo that was missed by the ref)


(Andre Pederneiras gives little Jose a sip of water)


(Silva reacts to Sonnen’s ultimatum. GIF courtesy of MMA-Core)