Five Biggest Takeaways From UFC Fight Night 88

‘Sin City’ was on fire yesterday, and it wasn’t because of the action going down in the casinos. UFC Fight Night 88 ran through Las Vegas last night and it was a fun evening for fight fans nationwide. The card featured some spectacular bouts that proved to be a huge night for the underdogs, as seven

The post Five Biggest Takeaways From UFC Fight Night 88 appeared first on LowKick MMA.

‘Sin City’ was on fire yesterday, and it wasn’t because of the action going down in the casinos.

UFC Fight Night 88 ran through Las Vegas last night and it was a fun evening for fight fans nationwide. The card featured some spectacular bouts that proved to be a huge night for the underdogs, as seven of them took home the victory Sunday night.

Undefeated records were snapped, potential title contenders emerged, UFC debuts were spoiled, and fighters returning off injury let us know that they are still relevant in the deep divisions the UFC has to offer.

We have a lot run through fight fans so with that being said, lets take a look at the five biggest takeaways from UFC Fight Night 88…

The post Five Biggest Takeaways From UFC Fight Night 88 appeared first on LowKick MMA.

UFC Fight Night 40 Results: Matt Brown TKOs Erick Silva in Instant Classic and Other Highlights


(Matt Brown about to do the Captain Morgan pose on Erick Silva. / Photo via Getty)

Matt. F*cking. Brown.

No, really. Matt Brown. If you didn’t see his main-event fight against Erick Silva at UFC Fight Night 40, you have to. You owe it to yourself. Our words can’t really do it justice suffice it to say it was pure violence. The first round saw Silva nearly score a liver-shot KO over Brown and then submit him with a rear naked choke. But after Brown escaped the choke, he managed to reverse his fortunes. He landed some combinations that would put down a horse, but somehow Silva survived the beating throughout the latter half of the first round and the entirety of the second. Finally, in the third frame, Silva succumbed to the force of nature that was Brown. This fight was a breath of fresh, bloody air when MMA needed one.

In the co-main event, Constantinos Philippou defeated Lorenz Larkin via knockout, but not just any kind of knockout. It was a faceplant KO. Here’s the GIF. The end result of the fight doesn’t convey how competitive it was though. Both fighters had one another in danger until Larkin’s lights went off.

After the jump: Something worse than Beatus the Robot and the fight card’s complete results.


(Matt Brown about to do the Captain Morgan pose on Erick Silva. / Photo via Getty)

Matt. F*cking. Brown.

No, really. Matt Brown. If you didn’t see his main-event fight against Erick Silva at UFC Fight Night 40, you have to. You owe it to yourself. Our words can’t really do it justice suffice it to say it was pure violence. The first round saw Silva nearly score a liver-shot KO over Brown and then submit him with a rear naked choke. But after Brown escaped the choke, he managed to reverse his fortunes. He landed some combinations that would put down a horse, but somehow Silva survived the beating throughout the latter half of the first round and the entirety of the second. Finally, in the third frame, Silva succumbed to the force of nature that was Brown. This fight was a breath of fresh, bloody air when MMA needed one.

In the co-main event, Constantinos Philippou defeated Lorenz Larkin via knockout, but not just any kind of knockout. It was a faceplant KO. Here’s the GIF. The end result of the fight doesn’t convey how competitive it was though. Both fighters had one another in danger until Larkin’s lights went off.

Also of note: Daron Cruickshank knocked out Erik Koch with a sweet head kick (and then landed like 200 more strikes because the ref stopped the fight too late).

Another thing: There was a guy in a Chuck Liddell suit, kinda like one of those weird furry costumes…except it was Chuck Liddell. No joke.

If you’d like a more in-depth recap, read our extensively detailed live-blog. If not, see the complete results below.

MAIN CARD RESULTS
– Matt Brown def. Erick Silva via TKO (punches), 2:11 of round 3
– Constantinos Philippou def. Lorenz Larkin via KO (punch), 3:47 of round 1
– Daron Cruickshank def. Erik Koch via TKO (head kick and punches), 3:21 of round 1
– Neil Magny def. Tim Means via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-27)
– Soa Palelei def. Ruan Potts via KO (punch), 2:20 of round 1
– Chris Cariaso def. Louis Smolka via unanimous decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

PRELIMINARY CARD RESULTS
– Ed Herman def. Rafael Natal via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
– Kyoji Horiguchi def. Darrell Montague via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
– Zak Cummings def. Yan Cabral via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
– Johnny Eduardo def. Eddie Wineland via TKO (punches), 4:37 of round 1
– Nik Lentz def. Manny Gamburyan via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
– Justin Salas def. Ben Wall via KO (punches), 2:41 of round 1
– Albert Tumenov def. Anthony Lapsley via KO (punch), 3:56 of round 1

UFC Fight Night 40: Brown vs. Silva — Liveblogging the Fights You Actually Care About


(Props: MMAJunkie)

Nine months ago, Matt Brown was poised to break into the UFC’s welterweight title picture. Then, he hurt his back, and the division blew up without him. Tonight, “The Immortal” returns to the Octagon in his home state of Ohio to fight the dangerous (but inconsistent) Brazilian scrapper Erick Silva, who is a 2-1 favorite here for some inexplicable reason. It’s a pretty damn compelling fight, actually. But there’s no way we’re gonna waste an entire Saturday night typing out play-by-play for the rest of this mess.

In this installment of “Liveblogging the Fights You Actually Care About,” CP weekend editor Matt Saccaro will be giving you live results for the Matt Brown vs. Erick Silva main event, as well as Erik Koch vs. Daron Cruickshank — barnburner alert! — and whatever else he feels like covering. Plus, quick results from the rest of the event, and our usual analysis of video game commercials and frozen pizza.

The FOX Sports 1 main card begins at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, and we’ll start throwing down results after the jump shortly thereafter. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.


(Props: MMAJunkie)

Nine months ago, Matt Brown was poised to break into the UFC’s welterweight title picture. Then, he hurt his back, and the division blew up without him. Tonight, “The Immortal” returns to the Octagon in his home state of Ohio to fight the dangerous (but inconsistent) Brazilian scrapper Erick Silva, who is a 2-1 favorite here for some inexplicable reason. It’s a pretty damn compelling fight, actually. But there’s no way we’re gonna waste an entire Saturday night typing out play-by-play for the rest of this mess.

In this installment of “Liveblogging the Fights You Actually Care About,” CP weekend editor and social media kosmonaut Matt Saccaro will be giving you live results for the Matt Brown vs. Erick Silva main event, as well as Erik Koch vs. Daron Cruickshank — barnburner alert! — and whatever else he feels like covering. Plus, quick results from the rest of the event, and our usual analysis of video game commercials and frozen pizza.

The FOX Sports 1 main card begins at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, and we’ll start throwing down results after the jump shortly thereafter. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

MAIN CARD RESULTS
– Matt Brown def. Erick Silva via TKO (punches), 2:11 of round 3
– Constantinos Philippou def. Lorenz Larkin via KO (punch), 3:47 of round 1
– Daron Cruickshank def. Erik Koch via TKO (head kick and punches), 3:21 of round 1
– Neil Magny def. Tim Means via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 30-27)
– Soa Palelei def. Ruan Potts via KO (punch), 2:20 of round 1
– Chris Cariaso def. Louis Smolka via unanimous decision (29-28, 28-29, 29-28)

PRELIMINARY CARD RESULTS
– Ed Herman def. Rafael Natal via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
– Kyoji Horiguchi def. Darrell Montague via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
– Zak Cummings def. Yan Cabral via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
– Johnny Eduardo def. Eddie Wineland via TKO (punches), 4:37 of round 1
– Nik Lentz def. Manny Gamburyan via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
– Justin Salas def. Ben Wall via KO (punches), 2:41 of round 1
– Albert Tumenov def. Anthony Lapsley via KO (punch), 3:56 of round 1

Daron Cruickshank vs. Erik Koch

Round 1: Koch comes in with a jab and Cruickshank counters with a right hand. Cruickshank misses a head kick. Koch eats an overhand right after attempting a leg kick. Koch backs Cruickshank against the cage with a flurry, and Cruickshank stops Koch’s aggressiveness with a side kick. Cruickshank chases Koch and lands a body kick after some sloppy punches. Not loads of contact made on anyone’s punches, to be honest. The two exchange leg kicks. Koch lands a stiff jab that sends Cruickshank’s head back. Koch hits a great leg kick on Cruickshank’s lead leg. Cruickshank lands a nasty body kick shortly after, but then Koch lands one of his own. Cruickshank lands a head kick that Koch blocks but then lands another INSANE head kick that floors Koch. He pours on the ground and pound while Koch’s head bounces off the mat (where the fuck is the ref?) before the fight is finally stopped after like 200 punches too many.

Lorenz Larkin vs. Constantinos Philippou

Round 1: Both fighters paw jabs. Larkin hits a front kick then wobbles Philippou with a hook. Philippou returns the favor. Larkin lands a leg kick and misses a left hand. Philippou comes forwards and presses Larkin against the cage. He lands some knees to Larkin’s thighs and does about a million foot stomps. They separate. Philippou hits two jabs, but then Larkin nails him with a crisp combination. Larkin lands a head kick but Philippou shrugs it off. Philippou lands a right hand and then another as Larkin tries a leg kick. These wobbled him, but then Larkin hurts Philippou with a counter hook. It was basically a back-and-forth striking scuffle. Philippou has Larkin against the cage, but Larkin separates and lands a big elbow. Costas lands a killer right hand and floors Larkin. He’s out cold. This fight is over.

Matt Brown vs. Erick Silva

Round 1: They get in each other’s faced at the stare down. They were literally nose to nose. Silva goes for an oblique kick. Brown lands a head kick and some punches. Silva does a body lock takedown. Brown reverses and winds up on top. Silva gets to his feet. Silva lands a tremendous body kcika and then another. Brown buckles to the mat and Silva lands ground and pound. He takes Brown’s back and attempts a rear naked choke. He can’t sink it in on the first attempt so he lands some strikes from the back. He goes for the choke again, but it’s more of a neck crank and Brown escapes. With about two minutes left Brown escapes. They’re back to their feet. Brown lands a vicious combo with some knees uppercuts, and elbows. Silva is out on his feet. More knees. More elbows. Holy shit. Brown misses a big head kick but lands and uppercut and then a throw. Brown keeps landing huge elbows and knees. He threw Silva to the ground like a rogdoll and he’s barely resisting now. This should be stopped. More uppercuts and visious hooks and elbows. Brown lands a takedown as the round ends. Jesus christ this was amazing.

Round 2: Knee to the head from Brown and he has Silva in the same spot as the end of last round, but Silva is starting to come back, actually. Silva lands a spinning back fist. But then Brown starts unloading elbows. They’re clinched now. They separate. Brown lands a hook to the body. Brown is teeing off on Silva; I have no idea what’s keeping him up. More elbows. My god. Brown lands a sick head kick and then some follow-up elbows. How the hell is Silva standing? Brown just keeps landing punches. A million right hands from Brown. Wow. A body shot from Silva hurts Brown badly. This is insane. Brown takes down Silva and gets side control. He lands some ground and pound. He’s got him in a mounted triangle, it looks like, but Silva escapes. Now he starts working a choke. Instead Brown moves to mount and starts landing loads of punches. He goes for the arm but misses and immediately transitions to a triangle. Looks like it’s over here, especially now that he’s going for the arm too, BUT SILVA ESCAPES. This is fucking insanity. Silva briefly passes to half guard but gets put back into guard. This fight.

Round 3: Silva lands a straight left and Brown lands a body kick. Brown lands a right hand, a knee, another knee, elbows, loads of uppercuts, more knees. Oh my god. They sort of flop onto the floor after an exchange, with Brown in Silva’s guard. Brown lands some ground and pound. Some elbows from guard. Silva is cut open bad. Brown landing some more ground and pound. Silva turtles up and the ref calls the fight. Amazing contest.

UFC 164 Aftermath: Milwaukee’s Best


(Photo by Ed Mulholland/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)

By George Shunick

The year’s not over, but when it’s said and done, don’t be surprised to see UFC 164 stand atop as the crown jewel of the promotion’s endeavors in 2013. The main card delivered in spades, with four finishes – albeit one controversial one – and one fight of the night which somehow didn’t manage to win the actual Fight of the Night bonus. But the big story last night was the ascension of Anthony Pettis to the lightweight throne. There has not been a dominant champion in the most talented division in MMA since the downfall of BJ Penn at UFC 112. If last night was any indication, Anthony Pettis is going to the answer to the series of frustrating draws and questionable decisions that have plagued the top of the division in Penn’s absence.

In the fight itself, Benson Henderson’s strategy became immediately clear – clinch, clinch, clinch. The majority of the round saw Henderson use his strength to drive Pettis into the fence and keep him there while working short strikes to Pettis’ legs. Henderson also attempted a number of takedowns, all of which were stuffed. When the two finally separated for a period of time, it became evident just why Henderson was so eager to keep the fighting in close. Pettis, fighting out of orthodox stance as a means of opening up the body kicks that come when two fighters square off in opposite stances, proceeded to capitalize on that particular strategy, landing four kicks to the body which clearly discomforted Henderson. Pettis, perhaps a little too pleased with his work, then attempted a cartwheel kick, only to be taken down by Henderson. Working in Pettis’ open guard, Henderson planted his right arm on the mat. Pettis immediately grabbed an overhook and soon after went for the armbar.

Henderson defended well at first, but as Pettis rotated on his back, the pressure increased on Henderson’s elbow to the point where it popped and the champion verbally submitted. Pettis became the second man to submit a champion since BJ Penn did it to Matt Hughes in 2004, and he did it against a man who is exceptionally difficult to finish in under a round. Considering that it was previously believed that his standup was his main weapon, it should go without saying at this point that Pettis is not only one of the top pound-for-pound fighters in the world, he could possibly be the best. A fight with Jose Aldo would go a long way to determine that, but a fight with T.J. Grant wouldn’t hurt either. Now the bad news; Pettis claims his knee popped during the fight. Hopefully it’s minor, but it would be a shame to lose Pettis so soon after such an impressive performance. Meanwhile, once his elbow heals, Henderson will be back. He’s insanely tough, well-rounded, athletic, technical… he’s just a level or two below Anthony Pettis. Maybe everyone else is too.


(Photo by Ed Mulholland/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)

By George Shunick

The year’s not over, but when it’s said and done, don’t be surprised to see UFC 164 stand atop as the crown jewel of the promotion’s endeavors in 2013. The main card delivered in spades, with four finishes – albeit one controversial one – and one fight of the night which somehow didn’t manage to win the actual Fight of the Night bonus. But the big story last night was the ascension of Anthony Pettis to the lightweight throne. There has not been a dominant champion in the most talented division in MMA since the downfall of BJ Penn at UFC 112. If last night was any indication, Anthony Pettis is going to the answer to the series of frustrating draws and questionable decisions that have plagued the top of the division in Penn’s absence.

In the fight itself, Benson Henderson’s strategy became immediately clear – clinch, clinch, clinch. The majority of the round saw Henderson use his strength to drive Pettis into the fence and keep him there while working short strikes to Pettis’ legs. Henderson also attempted a number of takedowns, all of which were stuffed. When the two finally separated for a period of time, it became evident just why Henderson was so eager to keep the fighting in close. Pettis, fighting out of orthodox stance as a means of opening up the body kicks that come when two fighters square off in opposite stances, proceeded to capitalize on that particular strategy, landing four kicks to the body which clearly discomforted Henderson. Pettis, perhaps a little too pleased with his work, then attempted a cartwheel kick, only to be taken down by Henderson. Working in Pettis’ open guard, Henderson planted his right arm on the mat. Pettis immediately grabbed an overhook and soon after went for the armbar.

Henderson defended well at first, but as Pettis rotated on his back, the pressure increased on Henderson’s elbow to the point where it popped and the champion verbally submitted. Pettis became the second man to submit a champion since BJ Penn did it to Matt Hughes in 2004, and he did it against a man who is exceptionally difficult to finish in under a round. Considering that it was previously believed that his standup was his main weapon, it should go without saying at this point that Pettis is not only one of the top pound-for-pound fighters in the world, he could possibly be the best. A fight with Jose Aldo would go a long way to determine that, but a fight with T.J. Grant wouldn’t hurt either. Now the bad news; Pettis claims his knee popped during the fight. Hopefully it’s minor, but it would be a shame to lose Pettis so soon after such an impressive performance. Meanwhile, once his elbow heals, Henderson will be back. He’s insanely tough, well-rounded, athletic, technical… he’s just a level or two below Anthony Pettis. Maybe everyone else is too.

The co-main event lasted about as long as the main event, but was decidedly more one-sided. Josh Barnett bumrushed Frank Mir as the bout began, as the two grabbed single collar-ties and proceeded to do their best impression of two hockey enforcers going at it. It soon became apparent Barnett was getting the better of the exchange, as he pressed his advantage by literally pressing Mir into the cage. Controlling Mir’s head, Barnett made infighting an art along the fence, punishing Mir to the head and body constantly. Pushing Mir’s head down, Barnett landed a knee to the face that collapsed Mir. Here’s where it gets controversial; Mir was out cold for a split-second. He went completely limp, the ref stopped the fight, and Mir woke up and protested the stoppage. It was a bit early; it was a flash knockout, and Mir could have conceivably woken up and absorbed another 15 punches before the referee decided to stop it. His resume dictates that he’s earned that right. But it’s hard to get too angry when that’s probably what would have happened. For Barnett, it was an impressive victory. Now let’s see if he can beat an ever tougher opponent; the pre-fight drug test.

At featherweight, Chad Mendes proved once again why he – and frankly, pretty much everyone at Team Alpha Male – is undeniably the second best fighter in his weight class. He dominated Clay Guida with calm, precise striking, and technically superior wrestling. For once, Guida couldn’t find a way to out-maneuver – or at least out-move – his opponent. Mendes’ footwork, brought along by striking coach Duane Ludwig, was too efficient. In the third, Mendes dropped Guida with a counter cross, attacked the downed Guida along the fence, waited until Guida returned to his feet, and then cracked him with an absolutely vicious right hook. Yves Lavigne stepped in after a few follow up punches. To his credit, Guida was quickly bouncing around the octagon soon after the fight was stopped. Also to his credit, he didn’t protest the stoppage. It was just. If Pettis is going to be out for a while, Mendes looks like he’s ready to take on Jose Aldo again.

Unexpectedly, one of the more interesting outcomes came in the finish to the Ben Rothwell-Brandon Vera bout. It’s an important distinction to make between the finish and the fight itself, for the latter was a mostly dull affair. Vera, evidently cautious of Rothwell’s size and power, constantly circled away from engaging. Stopping only to throw hard kicks to the midsection, Vera managed to take the first round. The second was more of the same, or perhaps less, as Vera’s output diminished and a victor was unclear. It appeared we were heading to a dull decision when midway through the third round, Ben Rothwell decided he had had enough of Vera’s evasive chicanery.

Though accounts may differ on what exactly happened next, I profess that Ben Rothwell summoned the ancient gods of cheese, cheap beer and general whiteness through what appeared to be a cross between a native Wisconsin mating dance and a mild stroke. Vera never stood a chance. Imbued with the power and obstinance of roughly 5,726,398 morbidly obese alcoholics, Rothwell barreled forward, pinned Vera against the fence and unleashed a torrent of pain. Rocking Vera with a strong uppercut, Rothwell followed with punches and a knee from the clinch which downed Vera. Only Herb Dean was able to save Vera from the force of nature Rothwell had become. As soon as it happened, it was over. What entity may have possessed him was exorcized as Rothwell bellowed in triumph, not unlike an elephant seal. Rothwell called out Travis Browne before departing, leaving all who bore witness to his brutality to question what was responsible for the transformation they had just witnessed.

Or they simply ascribed it to the new regimen of TRT Rothwell currently employs. Still doesn’t explain the dancing, though.

The first fight was a back and forth battle between young featherweights Dustin Poirier and Erik Koch. The first round in particular was wild. Poirier quickly dropped Koch, but as he followed up on the ground, Koch immediately grabbed a triangle. It was tight, and Poirier had to fight tooth and nail to survive and escape from it. But escape he did. As the fight resumed on the feet, Poirier landed a right hook that sent Koch careening to the mat. Still, Koch survived. Round two saw the action slow as Poirier still pressed his advantage. However, in round three Koch found his second wind, ultimately taking Poirier down and threatening with a rear-naked choke as the round expired. Poirier took home a deserved decision, but somehow this lost Fight of the Night to Pascal Krauss and Hyun Gyu Lim.

Still, it was an exceptional night of fights. Sure, the residents of Wisconsin could’ve seen as many finishes in the parking lot of a Packers game, but quality counts for something. And there’s something special about a hometown coronation like Anthony Pettis received. There was something special about UFC 164 as a whole; no matter who fought, it always seemed to exceed expectations. Who would have thought Milwaukee would have brought out the best of MMA?

UFC 164 Results & Video Highlights: Pettis Wins Title, Barnett Stops Mir

(Anthony Pettis becomes the new UFC lightweight champion by submitting Benson Henderson in the first round at UFC 164 Saturday night | All videos via FoxSports Youtube)

Full UFC 164 Quick Results:

Anthony Pettis submits Benson Henderson with an arm bar from the bottom in the first round.

Josh Barnett TKO’s Frank Mir in the first round.

Chad Mendes wins with a third round TKO over Clay Guida.

Ben Rothwell beats Brandon Vera in the third via TKO.

Dustin Poirier defeats Erik Koch with a unanimous decision.

Gleison Tibau wins a split decision over Jamie Varner.

Tim Elliott beats Louis Gaudinot with a unanimous decision.

Hyun Gyu Lim defeats Pascal Krauss via first round TKO.

Chico Camus wins a unanimous decision over Kyung Ho Kang.

Soa Palelei defeats Nikita Krylov via TKO in the third round.

Al Iaquinta wins a unanimous decision over Ryan Couture.

Magnus Cedenblad defeats Jared Hamman via guillotine choke submission.

Video highlights of Barnett vs. Mir, Mendes vs. Guida and Poirier vs. Koch after the jump


(Anthony Pettis becomes the new UFC lightweight champion by submitting Benson Henderson in the first round at UFC 164 Saturday night | All videos via FoxSports Youtube)

Full UFC 164 Quick Results:

Anthony Pettis submits Benson Henderson with an arm bar from the bottom in the first round.

Josh Barnett TKO’s Frank Mir in the first round.

Chad Mendes wins with a third round TKO over Clay Guida.

Ben Rothwell beats Brandon Vera in the third via TKO.

Dustin Poirier defeats Erik Koch with a unanimous decision.

Gleison Tibau wins a split decision over Jamie Varner.

Tim Elliott beats Louis Gaudinot with a unanimous decision.

Hyun Gyu Lim defeats Pascal Krauss via first round TKO.

Chico Camus wins a unanimous decision over Kyung Ho Kang.

Soa Palelei defeats Nikita Krylov via TKO in the third round.

Al Iaquinta wins a unanimous decision over Ryan Couture.

Magnus Cedenblad defeats Jared Hamman via guillotine choke submission.

Video highlights of Barnett vs. Mir, Mendes vs. Guida and Poirier vs. Koch after the jump.


(Josh Barnett stops Frank Mir in the first round)


(Chad Mendes stops Clay Guida in the third round)


(Dustin Poirier wins a unanimous decision over Erik Koch)

Elias Cepeda

Non-Expert MMA Picks: UFC 164 Edition


(We had no idea what picture to use for this post, but this one seems to work nicely. Be sure to check out Meerkatsu’s shop for plenty of other awesome jiu-jitsu artwork.)

Are “the experts” really more knowledgeable than anyone else in terms of predicting who will win a fight? That’s debatable, to say the least. Today we’re bringing in Adam Touchet – a college football blogger and the most casual of casual MMA fans – to see how his predictions hold up against what will actually happen on Saturday night. Read on for his picks, follow him on Twitter, and check out more of his work at what is possibly the least pretentious college football blog on the Internet, BattleOfTheSun.com.

I’ve spent my tiny broadcasting and show-business career trying to prove that just because you’re on television with a microphone it doesn’t make you an expert. What makes a guy who doesn’t even play a sport an “expert” at it, and what makes the “predictions” of the broadcasters presenting a sporting event to the masses any more valid than its rabid fan base?

Spoiler Alert: Nothing.


(We had no idea what picture to use for this post, but this one seems to work nicely. Be sure to check out Meerkatsu’s shop for plenty of other awesome jiu-jitsu artwork.)

Are “the experts” really more knowledgeable than anyone else in terms of predicting who will win a fight? That’s debatable, to say the least. Today we’re bringing in Adam Touchet – a college football blogger and the most casual of casual MMA fans – to see how his predictions hold up against what will actually happen on Saturday night. Read on for his picks, follow him on Twitter, and check out more of his work at what is possibly the least pretentious college football blog on the Internet, BattleOfTheSun.com.

I’ve spent my tiny broadcasting and show-business career trying to prove that just because you’re on television with a microphone it doesn’t make you an expert. What makes a guy who doesn’t even play a sport an “expert” at it, and what makes the “predictions” of the broadcasters presenting a sporting event to the masses any more valid than its rabid fan base?

Spoiler Alert: Nothing.

My knowledge of MMA is limited to Jim Norton being choked out by almost the entire UFC roster on the Opie & Anthony Show. My knowledge of specific fighters stops at Brock Lesnar and Ken Shamrock. Yeah, that’s right, I’m a Vince McMahon guy (Hi CM Punk!).

So when this fine world-wide-web destination asked me to choose who is walking out of UFC 164 a winner, I was ready to twerk a Miley Cyrus slug trail all over the #ThickeDicke that is Cage Potato. My picks are highly uninformed and shamelessly unfounded. However, “predictions” are conjecture and results are the truth.

Here are my predictions for the pay-per-view matches. I don’t see why I need to Zumba my way through the 17 hour preliminary event because Fox Sports 1 needs to justify its existence to our cable providers. By the way, is this event really being called the “Hometown Throwdown?” <sarcasm> Gee, I wonder why Dana White stopped naming these events </sarcasm>.

Benson Henderson (c) vs. Anthony Pettis

My first impression of Benson Henderson isn’t “Destroyer of Worlds”. He seems like a nice guy and has the appearance of someone who brings interesting conspiracies to The Joe Rogan Experience, and “Smooth” is always an unacceptable nickname for champion. All of my superficial gripes about the champ aren’t nearly as inexcusable as Pettis being the fourth best in the world according to a website whose rankings actually matter. What’s the deal, did someone get a concussion?

Having said all that, Henderson is Korean. I think Koreans are underrated. No, I won’t explain myself further. Zip up your amazingly boss satin tiger jumpsuit, I’m picking Henderson to retain the title.

Frank Mir vs. Josh Barnett

Here’s what I know: Mir beat Brock Lesnar. Has Barnett beaten John Cena or HHH lately? If you can bring me proof, then I could have a case for Josh Barnett.

By the way, how old are these gentlemen? You people wonder why MMA is illegal in Manhattan! Is it even legal, nay, moral, to put two men of a certain age into the cage? Holy crap, get Ray Romano, Scott Bakula & Kevin James on the phone; Men of a Certain Age IN THE CAGE is the no-brainer sequel to Here Comes the Boom. I can’t be bothered with fact-checking and research, because I need to check Scott Bakula’s availability in 2014. Frank Mir wins.

Chad Mendes vs. Clay Guida

Chad Mendes is part of Team Alpha Male. I already feel like he’s threatening my masculinity. Clay Guida doesn’t feel the need to intimidate me as a viewer, so he’s totally got this.

Ben Rothwell vs. Brandon Vera

I tried to learn more about this matchup, but Wikipedia fell asleep before it could try to explain why I should be excited about it. When in doubt, I pick who scares me the most. Ben Rothwell, you look like a grizzled trucker, before the FDA banned gas station amphetamines. You win, sir.

Erik Koch vs. Dustin Poirier

What kind of uninformed, babbling, self-aggrandizing sports analyst would I be if I didn’t take my hometown hero, Dustin Poirier? That’s my pick, because they’re going to say the name of my city on the TV box!

Do you understand how shameless you can truly be when you just call the elephant in the room? Take note ESPN, if you count your revenue dollars from big NCAA TV contracts while chastising student-athletes for disgustingly trumped-up violations, you won’t look like a bigger dunce than I did trying to predict the outcome of UFC 164.

For actual “expert” advice: Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 164: Henderson vs. Pettis II’ Edition