Absurd Claim of the Day: Chael Sonnen Says He Had Emergency Colon Surgery One Day Before Losing to Rashad Evans [UPDATED]


(Sonnen, seen here on the day of his alleged surgery. Take it away, James… / Photo via Getty)

From malicious food-poisoning to cracked skulls, MMA fighters have made some mighty questionable post-loss excuses over the years. But noted UFC bullshitter Chael Sonnen has just taken the art of the excuse to bizarre new depths. From a new report on TSN.ca:

UFC fighter Chael Sonnen had several inches of his colon removed during emergency surgery on Nov. 15 — one day before his first-round loss to Rashad Evans at UFC 167. Sonnen confirmed that he had the procedure during a taping of TSN’s Off The Record on Wednesday, after host Michael Landsberg revealed that a source told him about it.

“It’s a little bit of a surprise that you had that information,” replied Sonnen when asked whether he had undergone surgery.

Despite the medical emergency, Sonnen did not withdraw from the scheduled matchup in Las Vegas on Nov. 16 and was defeated in a first-round TKO.

“When I sign a contract to fight, I’m agreeing to fight a guy on a certain day at a certain time and in a certain venue,” he continued. “It’s my job to feel good when I go out and do it and if I don’t that may play a hand in the fight.”


(Sonnen, seen here on the day of his alleged surgery. Take it away, James… / Photo via Getty)

From malicious food-poisoning to cracked skulls, MMA fighters have made some mighty questionable post-loss excuses over the years. But noted UFC bullshitter Chael Sonnen has just taken the art of the excuse to bizarre new depths. From a new report on TSN.ca:

UFC fighter Chael Sonnen had several inches of his colon removed during emergency surgery on Nov. 15 — one day before his first-round loss to Rashad Evans at UFC 167. Sonnen confirmed that he had the procedure during a taping of TSN’s Off The Record on Wednesday, after host Michael Landsberg revealed that a source told him about it.

“It’s a little bit of a surprise that you had that information,” replied Sonnen when asked whether he had undergone surgery.

Despite the medical emergency, Sonnen did not withdraw from the scheduled matchup in Las Vegas on Nov. 16 and was defeated in a first-round TKO.

“When I sign a contract to fight, I’m agreeing to fight a guy on a certain day at a certain time and in a certain venue,” he continued. “It’s my job to feel good when I go out and do it and if I don’t that may play a hand in the fight.”

In other words, Sonnen may have gotten his ass kicked that night, but he’s basically a hero for still showing up even though he was half-sedated with an asshole full of gauze. I mean, he doesn’t want to make excuses or anything, but undergoing emergency colon surgery on weigh-in day “may play a hand” in how he performed. Come on, son — like any athletic commission would let that fly. I’m giving this story a therockeyeroll.gif, all day long.

God, I hope we’re not being trolled here. Knowing Chael, this might be an elaborate setup to a joke about finding Frank Mir’s horseshoe. After all, Sonnen and Landsberg have some history together. If you’re up in Canada and get TSN, watch the full interview with Sonnen today at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT, and let us know how it goes.

UPDATE: Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Director, Keith Kizer has called bullshit. “I checked with the UFC. They verified with Chael and his team that he did not have any surgery prior to the Rashad Evans fight. According to Chael, the interviewer asked him a question and Chael, coyly, didn’t answer him directly as the article clearly states, and the interviewer inferred that the answer to his question was in the affirmative.”

Bizarre Excuse of the Day: Miguel Torres Got Blown Out at WSOF 6 Because He Was Forced to Wear Shorts

(Miguel Torres vs. Pablo Alfonso full fight video)

Miguel Torres‘s loss to journeyman Pablo Alfonso at WSOF 6 on Saturday marked the third consecutive defeat for the former WEC bantamweight champ, and raised some harsh questions about Torres’s performance and future prospects. Namely: Bro, how you gonna get your ass kicked by a dude who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page? Even we have one of those.

Unsurprisingly, Torres has an interesting explanation for why he was choked out three minutes into what was essentially a rebound fight. As he wrote on Facebook after the match:

Was told by WSOF I could wear my spats, got my knee brace approved by commission, felt great and was on point warming up. Was in blue corner and was already in the cage about to fight then told by ref I had to leave and change into shorts. Had to sprint 100 yards there, look for shorts, then sprint back. Was not expecting that, threw my mind off and I didn’t execute in my fight. I apologize to all my training partners and students and especially my daughter. I make no excuse and take this lose personally and with full responsibility, I am better than what I showed today. Congrats to Pablo and his team, may they enjoy their night. See everyone in the gym on Monday, so sorry everyone.


(Miguel Torres vs. Pablo Alfonso full fight video)

Miguel Torres‘s loss to journeyman Pablo Alfonso at WSOF 6 on Saturday marked the third consecutive defeat for the former WEC bantamweight champ, and raised some harsh questions about Torres’s performance and future prospects. Namely: Bro, how you gonna get your ass kicked by a dude who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page? Even we have one of those.

Unsurprisingly, Torres has an interesting explanation for why he was choked out three minutes into what was essentially a rebound fight. As he wrote on Facebook after the match:

Was told by WSOF I could wear my spats, got my knee brace approved by commission, felt great and was on point warming up. Was in blue corner and was already in the cage about to fight then told by ref I had to leave and change into shorts. Had to sprint 100 yards there, look for shorts, then sprint back. Was not expecting that, threw my mind off and I didn’t execute in my fight. I apologize to all my training partners and students and especially my daughter. I make no excuse and take this lose personally and with full responsibility, I am better than what I showed today. Congrats to Pablo and his team, may they enjoy their night. See everyone in the gym on Monday, so sorry everyone.

I’m no expert on Florida’s wacky excuse for an athletic commission, but if Torres actually got his ring attire approved by the commission in advance, you’d think that he could have just told the referee to fuck himself. The fact that his spats were an issue suggests that maybe the World Series of Fighting “approved” Torres’s gear without checking with the people in Florida who actually have to clear these things. Or maybe Troy Waugh didn’t get the memo that the spats were above-board, ordered Torres to put on shorts when he entered the ring, and Torres complied because he didn’t know what else to do.

It’s a weird situation, but no matter whose fault it was, we sympathize with Torres. No fighter expects to do a 100-yard dash before his fight, and throw on whatever pair of black shorts that he can find lying around the locker room. If you watch the video above, you can see that Torres re-entered the cage wearing his knee brace, and Waugh made him take that off too. Poor bastard. As if the marijuana bust and his dad’s mugging weren’t enough bullshit for one year.

Torres is now 0-2 under the WSOF banner, and at this point, a loser-gets-fired fight against Ricardo Mayorga is probably the best-case scenario for him.

Palhares’ Ex-Coach: ‘Toquinho’ Hurt People Sparring, Had Excuses for Losses

Former UFC fighter Rousimar Palhares trained at Team Nogueira leading up to his welterweight debut against Mike Pierce, but prior to that, he was a mainstay at the Brazilian Top Team facility.  BTT coach/co-founder Murilo Bustamante is adding to the public outrage against “Toquinho,” who was cut from the UFC for holding a heel hook […]

Former UFC fighter Rousimar Palhares trained at Team Nogueira leading up to his welterweight debut against Mike Pierce, but prior to that, he was a mainstay at the Brazilian Top Team facility.  BTT coach/co-founder Murilo Bustamante is adding to the public outrage against “Toquinho,” who was cut from the UFC for holding a heel hook […]

Excuse-Watch: Anderson Silva Uses “Injured Ribs” and Bogus Percentages to Write Off Loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162


(You just *knew* that eventually Seagal would break down and rub some BBQ sauce on those suckers while Anderson was sleeping.) 

Not that Anderson Silva is making excuses for his upset loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162 or anything, but Anderson Silva is totally making excuses for his loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162. And not only that, he’s using the exact same ones that he did after UFC 117. Turns out, it wasn’t an unbridled sense of arrogance or an inflated ego that led to Anderson getting KO’d, it was his ribs! Three cheers for logic! (via MMAFighting):

It was good that you mentioned this because I was really hurt. Nobody mentioned this yet (Ed note: Probably because your camp denied it), but that’s not an excuse for my performance. It was a below where I was injured for my first fight with Chael Sonnen. That’s it. I was at 85 percent of my physical condition. I can’t talk about this because anything I say can be used against me. It’s in the past. I’m okay-

(*puts on shutter shades* *grabs mic from Silva’s hands*)

Now, Ima let you finish Andy, but Chris Weidman had one of the best excuses of all time! Of all time! (via Weidman’s coach, John Danaher)

He was essentially homeless. He was financially completely bankrupt. I remember I had to lend Chris thousands of dollars out of my own pocket just to keep him solvent while he’s preparing to fight Silva. And his life was essentially in chaos. One day when people know the full story of what happened, I’m not kidding when I say this, it’s like a goddamn Hollywood movie. It’s Rocky Balboa. It’s insane. The guy had nine fights. Bankrupt. Homeless. With a completely broken shoulder

I’m sorry, Anderson, you were saying something about only being in the B to B+ range physically on fight night? Anderson? (*armpit farts into mic*)

J. Jones


(You just *knew* that eventually Seagal would break down and rub some BBQ sauce on those suckers while Anderson was sleeping.) 

Not that Anderson Silva is making excuses for his upset loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162 or anything, but Anderson Silva is totally making excuses for his loss to Chris Weidman at UFC 162. And not only that, he’s using the exact same ones that he did after UFC 117. Turns out, it wasn’t an unbridled sense of arrogance or an inflated ego that led to Anderson getting KO’d, it was his ribs! Three cheers for logic! (via MMAFighting):

It was good that you mentioned this because I was really hurt. Nobody mentioned this yet (Ed note: Probably because your camp denied it), but that’s not an excuse for my performance. It was a below where I was injured for my first fight with Chael Sonnen. That’s it. I was at 85 percent of my physical condition. I can’t talk about this because anything I say can be used against me. It’s in the past. I’m okay-

(*puts on shutter shades* *grabs mic from Silva’s hands*)

Now, Ima let you finish Andy, but Chris Weidman had one of the best excuses of all time! Of all time! (via Weidman’s coach, John Danaher)

He was essentially homeless. He was financially completely bankrupt. I remember I had to lend Chris thousands of dollars out of my own pocket just to keep him solvent while he’s preparing to fight Silva. And his life was essentially in chaos. One day when people know the full story of what happened, I’m not kidding when I say this, it’s like a goddamn Hollywood movie. It’s Rocky Balboa. It’s insane. The guy had nine fights. Bankrupt. Homeless. With a completely broken shoulder

I’m sorry, Anderson, you were saying something about only being in the B to B+ range physically on fight night? Anderson? (*armpit farts into mic*)

J. Jones

For Tito Ortiz, More Injury Excuses Are Par for the Course

Like me, there are plenty of you who years ago gave up the quest to make sense of the things that often come out of Tito Ortiz‘s mouth. You know as well as I do that Ortiz is an emotional man, and those emotions can often lead to the former UFC light heavyweight champion handing […]

Like me, there are plenty of you who years ago gave up the quest to make sense of the things that often come out of Tito Ortiz‘s mouth. You know as well as I do that Ortiz is an emotional man, and those emotions can often lead to the former UFC light heavyweight champion handing […]

Jacob Volkmann Opens Fire at the UFC’s Low Pay, Crappy Health Insurance, and Preferential Treatment of Stand-and-Bangers


(*crickets* / Photo via US Presswire)

Looks like getting picked up right away by the World Series of Fighting after recently being fired by the UFC did not take away any bitterness from our favorite President-threatening lightweight, Jacob Volkmann. This past February, Volkmann lost by submission for the second time in his last three fights and was subsequently released by the UFC.

The elfin warrior tells AboveAndBeyondMMA.com that he didn’t deserve to be cut and is now on a mission to expose what he sees as the UFC’s unfair treatment of fighters.

“Well, I didn’t realize there was that much politics in martial arts, especially in the UFC. That was kind of frustrating. It’s not who is the best; it’s more of a political kind of BS,” he said.

“I was released after a loss against Bobby Green, which I should’ve never lost. It was kind of a fluke loss, going into the fight sick. I lost and then after that, they cut me. I was 6-2 at lightweight and they still cut me.

“You’ve got to know the right person, have the right manager in there. And your style determines if you stay in, too. The guys that stand and bang are the ones who are still fighting for the UFC. The ones that take the fights to the ground and focus more on the technique on the ground, they’re not in there because apparently the fans don’t like that.”


(*crickets* / Photo via US Presswire)

Looks like getting picked up right away by the World Series of Fighting after recently being fired by the UFC did not take away any bitterness from our favorite President-threatening lightweight, Jacob Volkmann. This past February, Volkmann lost by submission for the second time in his last three fights and was subsequently released by the UFC.

The elfin warrior tells AboveAndBeyondMMA.com that he didn’t deserve to be cut and is now on a mission to expose what he sees as the UFC’s unfair treatment of fighters.

“Well, I didn’t realize there was that much politics in martial arts, especially in the UFC. That was kind of frustrating. It’s not who is the best; it’s more of a political kind of BS,” he said.

“I was released after a loss against Bobby Green, which I should’ve never lost. It was kind of a fluke loss, going into the fight sick. I lost and then after that, they cut me. I was 6-2 at lightweight and they still cut me.

“You’ve got to know the right person, have the right manager in there. And your style determines if you stay in, too. The guys that stand and bang are the ones who are still fighting for the UFC. The ones that take the fights to the ground and focus more on the technique on the ground, they’re not in there because apparently the fans don’t like that.”

Volkmann is dead-on in saying that the UFC and the sport of MMA as a whole favors striking and strikers, and he goes on to include some interesting details about the UFC’s health coverage, but his whining tone probably distracts from any good points he has. No one begrudges someone for being upset at being fired, but excuse-making isn’t very sympathetic — especially from a boot-straps kind of conservative like Volkmann.

Volkmann has clearly shown that he’s a UFC-caliber fighter over the years, but he’s unfortunately not the first such guy to be cut after he goes on a downturn. First off, as we mentioned, Volkmann has been finished in two out of his last three bouts. Sure, maybe he was sick and injured in the last one but no one really ever cares about that. Also, he is 6-4 in the UFC — impressive for sure, but when half of those losses have come recently, he shouldn’t have been too shocked at being released.

Volkmann admits to being “very bitter,” over the firing but then displays a poor understanding of what poverty is.

“People always tell me, ‘You’re rich — you’re on TV!’ Are you kidding me? I made $54,000 two years ago, paid $9,000 in taxes, so that leaves me with $45,000. This last year, I made $50,000 and paid $8,000 in taxes. That leaves me with $42,000 — that’s barely above poverty. I have three kids and a wife I’m supporting.”

We’ve never gotten a crystal clear look at the UFC’s health care plans ever since they implemented one a few years ago, so tidbits of information are always great to get from fighters. Volkmann, now a lover scorned, claims that the coverage is too costly for fighters to do much good.

“They always claim that they treat the fighters so well. Yeah, they treat the top five per cent of the fighters well — the ones that are on the main card all the time. They don’t treat the rest of them very well. The healthcare plan is horrible, with a $1,500 deductible per injury — the catastrophic-injury insurance is not even really good insurance. There’s no retirement fund, there’s no signing bonus. You start off at six-and-six, you’re really not making too much money because you’re self-employed, so you’re paying the self-employment tax and you’re paying the regular tax and income tax. So you’re paying twice as much in tax. They claim they’re treating the fighters well, but they’re not, realistically.”

Rough sauce indeed. Many fighters get paid less than six and six to start, however, and lots of those are presumably in the World Series of Fighting.

What do you say, nation? Is Volkmann just mad because a black man is President and a white bald dude fired him? Or should his voice be heard on the matters of fighter compensation and job security?

Elias Cepeda