(“Easy, Bubba. Easy. Okay, okay, tap tap tap…TAP! TAP! AHHHH FUUUUUUUCK!! Damn it! I have a fight coming up, you asshole! Why did you do that? Why?!?”)
The heavyweight stunt-booking was scheduled to be Cormier’s last appearance in Strikeforce before moving to the UFC, so hopefully Zuffa will be able to hustle up a new opponent for him to keep his transition on schedule. Nothing has been reported yet, so I’m just going to throw out some names: Arlovski. Bonnar. Laupua. Just stop me if my matchmaking genius begins to overwhelm you.
We’ll update you when we know more.
(“Easy, Bubba. Easy. Okay, okay, tap tap tap…TAP! TAP! AHHHH FUUUUUUUCK!! Damn it! I have a fight coming up, you asshole! Why did you do that? Why?!?”)
The heavyweight stunt-booking was scheduled to be Cormier’s last appearance in Strikeforce before moving to the UFC, so hopefully Zuffa will be able to hustle up a new opponent for him to keep his transition on schedule. Nothing has been reported yet, so I’m just going to throw out some names: Arlovski. Bonnar. Laupua. Just stop me if my matchmaking genius begins to overwhelm you.
(“What kind of backwards country is this? The game is called Whac-a-Mole, not Whac-a-Capybara, and the animals aren’t supposed to be alive!”)
Just a few hours ago, we promised that a few beautiful knockout videos would successfully help us all blissfully drift into a world where injuries no longer determined both the content of everyother CP article and the makeup of every other UFC card, but it seems our vision of an impossibly awesome MMA utopia is merely that…an impossibility.
Be that as it may, some of you might be pleased to hear that amidst the UFC 153 clusterfuck of injuries lies a potential silver lining. According to FightersOnly, who have sited several anonymous sources, a grudge match years in the making between Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen is being looked at as a possible replacement for UFC 153 now that Jose Aldo — or perhaps, the general incompetence of Brazilian drivers — has massacred our dreams of a featherweight title superfight.
Details remain sketchy at the moment, but in a recent interview with Portal do Vale Tudo, Silva stated that he would be more than willing to step up for the good of the UFC and his home country’s fans if asked to do so:
I think fighting in Rio would be great. Under no circumstances could I turn that down. I would love to fight for the crowd in Rio, and if it were against that guy who everybody wants me to face, it would be beautiful.
(“What kind of backwards country is this? The game is called Whac-a-Mole, not Whac-a-Capybara, and the animals aren’t supposed to be alive!”)
Just a few hours ago, we promised that a few beautiful knockout videos would successfully help us all blissfully drift into a world where injuries no longer determined both the content of everyother CP article and the makeup of every other UFC card, but it seems our vision of an impossibly awesome MMA utopia is merely that…an impossibility.
Be that as it may, some of you might be pleased to hear that amidst the UFC 153 clusterfuck of injuries lies a potential silver lining. According to FightersOnly, who have sited several anonymous sources, a grudge match years in the making between Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen is being looked at as a possible replacement for UFC 153 now that Jose Aldo — or perhaps, the general incompetence of Brazilian drivers — has massacred our dreams of a featherweight title superfight.
Details remain sketchy at the moment, but in a recent interview with Portal do Vale Tudo, Silva stated that he would be more than willing to step up for the good of the UFC and his home country’s fans if asked to do so:
I think fighting in Rio would be great. Under no circumstances could I turn that down. I would love to fight for the crowd in Rio, and if it were against that guy who everybody wants me to face, it would be beautiful.
Rumor has it that the bout is being considered at a catchweight of 195 pounds, which might sound familiar to the three of you who actually paid for UFC 147. At this point in his career, Wandy is basically the go-to guy for any Brazilian MMA card that is circling the drain.
Wanderlei also stated that although he wasn’t exactly in fighting shape at the moment, he is on weight and healthy enough to fight if needed:
From experience, a fighter always has to be ready. I am not in a competition training schedule but I am training, on-weight and feeling good. It’s just a case of if I am offered the fight.
I accept to fight any one and with him it would be tasteful. It would be a bout that people would like to see. I wasn’t offered it yet, but if the boss needs me and I can contribute to make the fans happy, I would feel so glad.
Without opening up a whole new can of worms (or perhaps a can of worms that justwon’tclose), we’d just like to say that we wish every MMA fighter had this attitude. But there we go again, dreaming of a world that will never exist.
We will have more on this potential matchup as things develop, but in the meantime, here’s a video (courtesy of MMAFighting) in which Dana White laments over UFC 153 and how frustrating it is to be poor Frankie Edgar these days. Without trying to sound like a kiss ass, I must say that I honestly feel sorry for both guys in this situation, as both of them can’t seem to catch a fucking break lately. Oh well, I guess the fact that DW is richer than most, if not all Central African countries combined should help him sleep tonight. That, and the custom orthopedic Serta Sealy memory foam angel cloud mattress he sleeps on, of course.
So, Potato Nation, would Sonnen vs. Wanderlei be enough to quell your disappointment over the loss of Edgar vs. Aldo? Pick the less obvious answer here.
As I’ve discussed before, being a writer for a “comedic” “MMA” website such as CagePotato has its positives and its negatives. The positives, of course, are the legions of swooning, scantily clad women that are literally willing to do anything to meet Jon Jones, Chuck Liddell, or whomever we are claiming to be incredibly close friends with at the time. There are also the lavish cars, houses, and general respect from your peers that have become a staple of the blogger trade to be grateful for.
But perhaps even greater than the constant influx of trim and general swagger that comes hand-in-hand with the MMA blogger lifestyle are the epic knockout videos we get to post whenever we feel like it under the false guise of “journalism.” And with the great injury curse of 2012 once again putting us all in the dumps, today seems perfect for one such occasion, so join us after the jump for a trifecta of KO’s (and even a flying triangle) to help you cope with the fact that yet another UFC event has been temporarily upended.
As I’ve discussed before, being a writer for a “comedic” “MMA” website such as CagePotato has its positives and its negatives. The positives, of course, are the legions of swooning, scantily clad women that are literally willing to do anything to meet Jon Jones, Chuck Liddell, or whomever we are claiming to be incredibly close friends with at the time. There are also the lavish cars, houses, and general respect from your peers that have become a staple of the blogger trade to be grateful for.
But perhaps even greater than the constant influx of trim and general swagger that comes hand-in-hand with the MMA blogger lifestyle are the epic knockout videos we get to post whenever we feel like it under the false guise of “journalism.” And with the great injury curse of 2012 once again putting us all in the dumps, today seems perfect for one such occasion, so join us after the jump for a trifecta of KO’s (and even a flying triangle) to help you cope with the fact that yet another UFC event has been temporarily upended.
Our first knockout comes to us courtesy of Cage Warriors Fighting Championships, one of the last London-based promotions that doesn’t seemed destined to implode as a result of its own stupidity. In a preliminary contest, 8-3 Brett Bassett squared off against 9-5 Mike Ling, and this one was over before it ever really started. Roughly 35 seconds into the fight (5:05 in the video), Ling throws a halfhearted leg kick, and as James Irvin will tell you, nothing good can come from such a tactic. And not unlike Anderson Silva, Bassett catches the kick, immediately counters with a right hook (sure, Andy’s was a straight right, but you get it), and it’s the big kibosh, goodnight Irene, or whatever phrase that runs through your head when an MMA fighter gets dropped like a sack of potatoes.
Our next series of knockouts come from our buddies over at Inside MMA, who recently asked their viewers to submit their picks for the best submissions/knockouts of the week. The video begins with an incredible flying triangle, then quickly moves to a pair of knockouts — one that ends in just four seconds — that will surely make you forget all about that pesky featherweight title superfight that totally isn’t happening.
It may not have happened yet, but we’re going to go ahead and claim that GSP is out of UFC Whatever with a torn Whachamacallit.
The news was once again delivered by Dana White via his Twitter.
Now Aldo is out with foot injury. Main and co main in the same day!! Another amazing day at the UFC. We have some work to do.
The injury is apparently unrelated to the motorcycle accident Aldo was involved in just under a week ago, which shows us that the injury curse has moved on from simple hope crushing to full-on psychological warfare. Fuck you, injury curse. Fuck you right in the pooper.
It may not have happened yet, but we’re going to go ahead and claim that GSP is out of UFC Whatever with a torn Whachamacallit.
The news was once again delivered by Dana White via his Twitter.
Now Aldo is out with foot injury. Main and co main in the same day!! Another amazing day at the UFC. We have some work to do.
The injury is apparently unrelated to the motorcycle accident Aldo was involved in just under a week ago, which shows us that the injury curse has moved on from simple hope crushing to full-on psychological warfare. Fuck you, injury curse. Fuck you right in the pooper.
So…Edgar vs. Sonnen, anybody?
In related injury news…
Vladimir Matyushenko has suffered a torn achilles and has been forced out of his bout with the returning Matt Hamill at UFC 152. Matyushenko’s replacement will actually be the man Hamill was originally supposed to face, Roger Hollett, who pulled out from the contest with an injury that has apparently already healed. What does it matter, one of these two men ain’t making it to fight night.
(Jared Hamman attempts to pull a fast one on us all at UFC on FOX 4. AS IF we couldn’t tell that his leg was clearly photoshopped.)
Perhaps two-time Bellator middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko is just a little bitter that rival Hector Lombard vacated his former promotion (and a long-awaited rematch with Shlemenko) to compete in the UFC, or maybe “Storm” is just as tired of seeing all of the UFC cards he is ordering turn to shit as the rest of us. Whatever his end game may be, Shlemenko recently stated in an interview with ValeTudo.ru that he believed many of the injuries that have been plaguing the UFC as of late were more than likely faked by the fighters in order to get out of a fight that was not a good matchup for them. His primary example was Brian Stann:
I can tell you for sure, 100%, I know why there are so many injuries. I personally find UFC fights not as exciting because of all those injuries. There are a lot of background tactics around who’s fighting who; fighters are trying really hard to have a good record in the UFC. If you’ve been offered to fight someone who’s considered a bad match-up, then it’s pretty easy to say ‘hey, I’m injured’.
For example, they offered Brian Stann to fight Hector Lombard. He got injured, and then the next thing you know – he’s fighting Michael Bisping. I can see the logic – for Brian Stann it makes more sense to fight Bisping, he’s simply more popular in the UFC than Hector Lombard. That’s why beating Bisping means more than beating Lombard, who’s a risky opponent.
You can fake every injury. Just tell [UFC doctors] about the symptoms and that’s it.
God Damn it, Alex. Your love of centrifugal forces and general badassery made you one of our favorite fighters, but NO ONE accuses “All American” of ducking a fight. And considering the bullshit-laden excuse your boy Lombard gave usthree weeks after putting on one of the worst performances of the year, we’d say it’s a little presumptuous to start calling out other organizations fighters for sparing us a fifteen minute wet fart in advance.
After the jump: Stann’s response, as well as a video of Shlemenko’s most recent fight, which ends with an injury that is physically impossible to fake.
(Jared Hamman attempts to pull a fast one on us all at UFC on FOX 4. AS IF we couldn’t tell that his leg was clearly photoshopped.)
Perhaps two-time Bellator middleweight tournament winner Alexander Shlemenko is just a little bitter that rival Hector Lombard vacated his former promotion (and a long-awaited rematch with Shlemenko) to compete in the UFC, or maybe “Storm” is just as tired of seeing all of the UFC cards he is ordering turn to shit as the rest of us. Whatever his end game may be, Shlemenko recently stated in an interview with ValeTudo.ru that he believed many of the injuries that have been plaguing the UFC as of late were more than likely faked by the fighters in order to get out of a fight that was not a good matchup for them. His primary example was Brian Stann:
I can tell you for sure, 100%, I know why there are so many injuries. I personally find UFC fights not as exciting because of all those injuries. There are a lot of background tactics around who’s fighting who; fighters are trying really hard to have a good record in the UFC. If you’ve been offered to fight someone who’s considered a bad match-up, then it’s pretty easy to say ‘hey, I’m injured’.
For example, they offered Brian Stann to fight Hector Lombard. He got injured, and then the next thing you know – he’s fighting Michael Bisping. I can see the logic – for Brian Stann it makes more sense to fight Bisping, he’s simply more popular in the UFC than Hector Lombard. That’s why beating Bisping means more than beating Lombard, who’s a risky opponent.
You can fake every injury. Just tell [UFC doctors] about the symptoms and that’s it.
God Damn it, Alex. Your love of centrifugal forces and general badassery made you one of our favorite fighters, but NO ONE accuses “All American” of ducking a fight. And considering the bullshit-laden excuse your boy Lombard gave usthree weeks after putting on one of the worst performances of the year, we’d say it’s a little presumptuous to start calling out other organizations fighters for sparing us a fifteen minute wet fart in advance.
Per usual, Stann took the high road when responding to such an audacious claim on Twitter:
Shouldn’t even dignify todays comment w/ a response, but I would never fake an injury. I agreed to fight Hector b4 he was even signed.
My injury was a 6-8 week recovery & the UFC was not interested in delaying his debut to wait for me. Fighters dont fake injuries, we have to pay the bills guys!
Not too long ago, Elias attempted to decipher the reasoning behind the recent string of injuries the UFC has been facing, and concluded that more of the injuries could likely be written off as a result of strength training rather than intense sparring. And although Stann actually did injure his shoulder during a sparring session with UFC heavyweight Shawn Jordan, there is little reason to believe that he, along with most UFC fighters, would be willing to miss out on a paycheck to avoid a bad matchup. Most fighters live and die by the money they are able to come away with in the three or so fights they are able to squeeze in a year (if they’re lucky). And besides that, had Stann performed impressively against Lombard, it would have launched him onto the short list of contenders at 185, whereas a win over Bisping, while significant, would more or less confirm that “The Count” is simply not upper-echelon material. The Lombard fight was his to win, while the Bisping fight is mainly his to lose. Some of you will likely disagree with that notion, in which case I will tell thee to snuff it.
Speaking of injuries, Shlemenko was responsible for a nasty one in his unanimous decision win over Anthony Ruiz this past Saturday. Although Shlemenko didn’t exactly look his greatest, it was his first fight since getting into a car crash back in April, so we are willing to forgive him. Plus, he managed to smash Ruiz’s nose up something fierce, which is always fun to gawk at. On the Ryan McGillivray scale of broken noses, we’d give it about an 8.5.
(A good view of the carnage comes at 13:06, but FYI, Sensei Seagal and Oleg Taktarov make an appearance moments before. You’ll probably be excited to see at least one of them.)
(I suppose I could write something funny here, but I’d rather ask you to look at the honest to God fear present in Kevin Mulhall’s face as he essentially sticks his hands in a bear trap. Truly chilling stuff.)
Here are a few news items that you’ll probably find even less surprising than the fact that the Summer 2012 injury curse has claimed yet another victim:
4. A Georgia man recently set his head on fire as part of a bet he made while hammered at a bar and was hospitalized shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, he survived his injuries.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s something you might find a little more surprising: The latest victim of the injury curse is none other than Rousimar Palhares, who threatened to rip a hole in between earthly dimensions by injuring his own knee during training, subsequently forcing himself to bow out from his scheduled fight with Yushin Okami at UFC 150. You might recall that Palhares was only facing Okami in the first place because Luis Cane injured himself in training as well, but trying to remember who is filling in for who due to injury these days is as impossible as reciting Pi in its entirety. In short, everyone whose name doesn’t rhyme with Schrim Goatsch or Schmanderson Schilva is clearly ducking Yushin Okami.
Join us after the jump to find out which poor bastard will be stepping in to get slaughtered.
(I suppose I could write something funny here, but I’d rather ask you to look at the honest to God fear present in Kevin Mulhall’s face as he essentially sticks his hands in a bear trap. Truly chilling stuff.)
Here are a few news items that you’ll probably find even less surprising than the fact that the Summer 2012 injury curse has claimed yet another victim:
4. A Georgia man recently set his head on fire as part of a bet he made while hammered at a bar and was hospitalized shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, he survived his injuries.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s something you might find a little more surprising: The latest victim of the injury curse is none other than Rousimar Palhares, who threatened to rip a hole in between earthly dimensions by injuring his own knee during training, subsequently forcing himself to bow out from his scheduled fight with Yushin Okami at UFC 150. You might recall that Palhares was only facing Okami in the first place because Luis Cane injured himself in training as well, but trying to remember who is filling in for who due to injury these days is as impossible as reciting Pi in its entirety. In short, everyone whose name doesn’t rhyme with Schrim Goatsch or Schmanderson Schilva is clearly ducking Yushin Okami.
Shortly after receiving the injury, which is likely a torn ligament that may require surgery, Palhares was quoted as saying, “Ow! That hurts! My God, is that what I’ve been doing to people?!” before savagely devouring the nurse that was attempting to help him to his feet. Palhares’ coach, Murilo Bustamante, told FightersOnly that “He is out of action for while. After next two weeks we will know for sure if he’ll need a surgery.” Bustamante also attributed the injury to “bad luck,” but we feel that “karma” is a more appropriate analysis. In all seriousness, we would never wish an injury upon any fighter and hope Palhares has a smooth recovery.
Stepping in for Palhares on just a couple of weeks notice will be Buddy Roberts, a 12-2 Jackson’s MMA product who scored a plodding unanimous decision victory over Caio Magalhaes in his UFC debut at UFC on FX 3. We understand that Okami is on the heels of a loss that was described by an incredibly coked amped up Joe Rogan as “The greatest comeback in UFC History”, but he should have no problem getting by Roberts here. Although this squash match will come at the cost of what was an incredibly interesting matchup at 185 lbs., it will be nice to see Okami at least have the chance to add an impressive finish to his highlight reel, something he has not done since starching the late Evan Tanner at UFC 82.
We’ve taken the liberty to add a couple videos of Buddy Roberts handiwork below, not because we think they will change your minds in regards to how this fight will end, but simply because we can. Enjoy.
