Tag: Insanity

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: “27 of the Deadliest Poison-Hand Techniques Ever Devised”

This is the jackpot, Potato Nation. It’s the most god-awful Martial Arts Fail we’ve ever seen.

Before you keep reading, watch the video. Our words can’t do it justice. It epitomizes the unfortunate but ever-present fraudulent side of martial arts. For every legitimate school teaching people how to defend themselves, there are 1,000 schools teaching the kind of complete crap in the video.

Did you watch it yet? Because you really need to.

The guy in the video is no martial artist. He’s a conman who calls himself Ashida Kim. Bullshido.net, a website dedicated to exposing martial arts fraud, performed an in-depth investigation on Kim, who’s real name is Radford W. Davis. In addition to peddling this deadly ninja master bullshit, Kim/Davis also mails out phony martial arts certifications. An investigator from Bullshido even managed to get a certificate saying he was a black belt in Vale Tudo from Kim/Davis.

Feeling like you wanna punch this guy yet? Well, he’s got a plan for that. It’s called the $10,000 Challenge, which includes such stipulations as posting a $25,000 “appearance bond” to make sure you don’t skip town as well as paying Kim $10,000 to show, as well as footing the bill for his lodging and food. Nice.

Oh, and this guy also claims he can levitate. Watch the video of him attempting to do so after the jump.

This is the jackpot, Potato Nation. It’s the most god-awful Martial Arts Fail we’ve ever seen.

Before you keep reading, watch the video. Our words can’t do it justice. It epitomizes the unfortunate but ever-present fraudulent side of martial arts. For every legitimate school teaching people how to defend themselves, there are 1,000 schools teaching the kind of complete crap in the video.

Did you watch it yet? Because you really need to.

The guy in the video is no martial artist. He’s a conman who calls himself Ashida Kim. Bullshido.net, a website dedicated to exposing martial arts fraud, performed an in-depth investigation on Kim, who’s real name is Radford W. Davis. In addition to peddling this deadly ninja master bullshit, Kim/Davis also mails out phony martial arts certifications. An investigator from Bullshido even managed to get a certificate saying he was a black belt in Vale Tudo from Kim/Davis.

Feeling like you wanna punch this guy yet? Well, he’s got a plan for that. It’s called the $10,000 Challenge, which includes such stipulations as posting a $25,000 “appearance bond” to make sure you don’t skip town as well as paying Kim $10,000 to show, and also footing the bill for his lodging and food. Nice.

Oh, and this guy also claims he can levitate:

Can it possibly get worse than this?

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

The End of MMA: Don Frye Shaves His Legendary Mustache


(A portrait of an American)

Say it ain’t so, MMA fans. Don Frye, legendary bad-ass whose blood runs red, white, and blue with freedom, shaved his mustache. What crude and demonic device was capable of trimming concentrated manhood, we’ll never know. Seriously, his mustache was like bald eagles, American flags, fireworks, and guns condensed into facial hair. It was perfect! A more puzzling question is why Frye would be compelled to do something like this. At the time of writing, his twitter–which still presents an avatar bearing his wondrous stache–offers no explanation.

Now, here’s the picture of Don Frye sans mustache. We must warn you, it’s hard to take in; it isn’t for the faint of heart!


(A portrait of an American)

Say it ain’t so, MMA fans. Don Frye, legendary bad-ass whose blood runs red, white, and blue with freedom, shaved his mustache. What crude and demonic device was capable of trimming concentrated manhood, we’ll never know. Seriously, his mustache was like bald eagles, American flags, fireworks, and guns condensed into facial hair. It was perfect! A more puzzling question is why Frye would be compelled to do something like this. At the time of writing, his twitter–which still presents an avatar bearing his wondrous stache–offers no explanation.

Now, here’s the picture of Don Frye sans mustache. We must warn you, it’s hard to take in; it isn’t for the faint of heart!

The picture has been making its rounds on the Internet lately, specifically on r/MMA and The UG.

We just hope that he grows it back, lest the sport forever be stripped of one of its last truly magnificent wonders.

Old Man Liddell Thinks He Could Have KO’d Jon Jones in His Prime, And Doesn’t Like the Way Chael Sonnen Sells Fights


(“These damn kids with their sagging pants and exposed mid-riffs. Good luck getting a job, you punk!”)

Because this weekend’s UFC 172 title fight between Jon Jones and Glover Teixeira isn’t quite interesting enough to discuss, FOX Sports’s Marc Raimondi decided to ask Teixeira’s longtime training partner Chuck Liddell how he would have done against Jones, back when he was in his prime. Chuck’s answer is both eye-rollingly delusional and totally unsurprising:

Liddell loves Jones’ overall game, but is not at all impressed with his punching power. He thinks if the two would have fought in his prime, he would have knocked Jones out.

“I think I would have been a horrible matchup for him,” Liddell told FOX Sports. “I would have walked through his punches and he wouldn’t have caught me with anything…I would have found a way to hit him,” Liddell said, “and I hit too hard.”

The “walked through his punches” part is my favorite; it’s just so Leben-esque. There’s a lot more I can say here, but our own Matt Saccaro beat me to it:

Those are the only correct responses. If you believe otherwise, you’re stuck in a fanboy time-warp. And Chuck? Please don’t turn into Royce Gracie. We’re begging you.

Speaking of the Iceman crapping on current UFC stars, Liddell also took some time to diss Chael Sonnen’s self-promotion routine:


(“These damn kids with their sagging pants and exposed mid-riffs. Good luck getting a job, you punk!”)

Because this weekend’s UFC 172 title fight between Jon Jones and Glover Teixeira isn’t quite interesting enough to discuss, FOX Sports’s Marc Raimondi decided to ask Teixeira’s longtime training partner Chuck Liddell how he would have done against Jones, back when he was in his prime. Chuck’s answer is both eye-rollingly delusional and totally unsurprising:

Liddell loves Jones’ overall game, but is not at all impressed with his punching power. He thinks if the two would have fought in his prime, he would have knocked Jones out.

“I think I would have been a horrible matchup for him,” Liddell told FOX Sports. “I would have walked through his punches and he wouldn’t have caught me with anything…I would have found a way to hit him,” Liddell said, “and I hit too hard.”

The “walked through his punches” part is my favorite; it’s just so Leben-esque. There’s a lot more I can say here, but our own Matt Saccaro beat me to it:

Those are the only correct responses. If you believe otherwise, you’re stuck in a fanboy time-warp. And Chuck? Please don’t turn into Royce Gracie. We’re begging you.

Speaking of the Iceman crapping on current UFC stars, Liddell also took some time to diss Chael Sonnen’s self-promotion routine:

“Chael’s a nice guy. I’ve met him and hung out with him. I like him, and he’s a nice guy. I can’t stand the way he promotes fights.

“I understand what he’s doing; he wasn’t the most exciting fighter, so he made himself exciting by promoting the fight really well, and he got himself a couple of title shots for it. It works, but that whole crazy WWE-type stuff, that over-the-top stuff when you’re fighting a guy, doesn’t make sense to me, and I don’t like it.

“But it is what it is. Some of the fans like it, and it gets people to watch fights, that’s fine.”

This is what happens when you’re replaced by Ronda Rousey in the heart of Dana White — you get grumpy. I actually agree with Chuck in theory, but look, the majority of MMA fans are just frustrated pro wrestling marks who are all angrily suppressing their love for fake heat, dramatic storylines, and steel-chair run-ins. We know this, and that’s why Chael Sonnen can literally talk his way into stardom. Chael’s TUF Brazil beef with Wanderlei? Friggin’ gold.

Meanwhile, Chuck Liddell is just some guy who used to punch people so hard that they fell over, and didn’t say much during press conferences. If MMA fans were interested in that in the year 2014, Glover Teixeira would be a huge star. But he’s not. And that’s why we’re talking about Chuck Liddell right now, instead of the guy who’s actually fighting this Saturday. See how that works?

Must-See: This Female Slugfest From KCFA 10 Is So Bad It’s Good

(Props: KCFightingAlliance via MiddleEasy)

I don’t know if this is a sexist statement to make or whatever, but the great thing about amateur women’s MMA is that the fighters never, ever block punches. Sometimes, that can be really sad. But when the fighters are both awful evenly matched, it can be magical.

On Saturday night, amateur MMA fighter Jade Chun (the girl in the pink top) competed at Kansas City Fighting Alliance 10 against Taeler Jackson, and what Jade lacked in basic understanding of the striking arts, she made up for in heart, determination, and straight-up balls. For the first 20 seconds, the fight just looks like any other slugfest between two rookies with nothing to lose. Then, Jade’s like, “Screw it, I’m just going to throw standing hammerfists for the rest of the fight and see what happens.” She also starts using what I can only describe as “the imaginary shield defense.” It is glorious.

Eventually, Chun gets her lip split wide open by the marginally more competent punches coming from Jackson. Chun spits her own blood — angry, like Bruce Lee — and applies more and more pressure, and fires uglier and uglier punch-like-thingys, until Jackson is KO’d in a heap against the fence. The fight is a true underdog story, played out in less than five minutes. It’s probably the worst thing you’ll see today, but in a weird way, it might be the most inspiring. We are all Jade Chun, just plugging away, trying our best to succeed despite our total lack of ability. Sometimes tough is enough.


(Props: KCFightingAlliance via MiddleEasy)

I don’t know if this is a sexist statement to make or whatever, but the great thing about amateur women’s MMA is that the fighters never, ever block punches. Sometimes, that can be really sad. But when the fighters are both awful evenly matched, it can be magical.

On Saturday night, amateur MMA fighter Jade Chun (the girl in the pink top) competed at Kansas City Fighting Alliance 10 against Taeler Jackson, and what Jade lacked in basic understanding of the striking arts, she made up for in heart, determination, and straight-up balls. For the first 20 seconds, the fight just looks like any other slugfest between two rookies with nothing to lose. Then, Jade’s like, “Screw it, I’m just going to throw standing hammerfists for the rest of the fight and see what happens.” She also starts using what I can only describe as “the imaginary shield defense.” It is glorious.

Eventually, Chun gets her lip split wide open by the marginally more competent punches coming from Jackson. Chun spits her own blood — angry, like Bruce Lee — and applies more and more pressure, and fires uglier and uglier punch-like-thingys, until Jackson is KO’d in a heap against the fence. The fight is a true underdog story, played out in less than five minutes. It’s probably the worst thing you’ll see today, but in a weird way, it might be the most inspiring. We are all Jade Chun, just plugging away, trying our best to succeed despite our total lack of ability. Sometimes tough is enough.

Rousey vs. Mayweather: The MMA vs. Boxing Debate Finally Hits Rock-Bottom

(Joe Rogan talks Rousey vs. Mayweather on ESPN’s SportsNation, because it’s not like there was an actual event worth discussing or anything.)

By Jared Jones

I must be confused.

You see, when I awoke yesterday morning, I was under the impression that MMA was still a sport with plenty of goings-on worth talking about, not a platform so desolate of intriguing discussion that its only current purpose in this world was to push energy drinks and stir up farcical “Who would win?” scenarios like a goddamn episode of Deadliest Warrior. “There are *two* UFC events alone going down this week,” I said to myself, “Not to mention an *actual* TUF premiere, a Bellator event, and who knows what else. Surely there is plenty of real-life, newsworthy information to be had today.”

So you can imagine my surprise when I awoke to find “Joe Rogan says Ronda Rousey would beat Floyd Mayweather Jr.” as the headline dominating many an MMA site and even some that aren’t. And even worse, nearly all of these articles were flooded with the hundreds of comments from people who actually found it necessary to offer their insight into this absolutely imbecilic piece of non-news. (Rousey vs. a cheetah in sweatpants: Who’s the better dancer?”)

“Every fight starts standing, and we all know Floyd’s not afraid to hit women,” joked a commenter who vehemently expressed his outrage over the idea of allowing Fallon Fox to continue fighting just months earlier. “Floyd’s speed would be no match for Ronda’s armbar,” said another who had chastised his favorite MMA publication for daring to waste his time with a breakdown of the Undertaker’s signature move days prior.

I bit my tongue at first, because I don’t exactly have a foot to stand on when it comes to publishing news items that are ever-so-tangentially related to MMA. But the tipping point occurred during last night’s TUF Nations Finale broadcast, when during yet another time-killing session in the FOX studios, Karyn Bryant posed the same question to Daniel Cormier and Anthony Pettis.

“This is ridiculous,” said Pettis before declaring that Floyd would easily win. Unfortunately, it appeared that the idea of a woman beating a man in a fight was what Pettis found ridiculous, not the question itself as I had hoped.


(Joe Rogan talks Rousey vs. Mayweather on ESPN’s SportsNation, because it’s not like there was an actual event worth discussing or anything.)

By Jared Jones

I must be confused.

You see, when I awoke yesterday morning, I was under the impression that MMA was still a sport with plenty of goings-on worth talking about, not a platform so desolate of intriguing discussion that its only current purpose in this world was to push energy drinks and stir up farcical “Who would win?” scenarios like a goddamn episode of Deadliest Warrior. “There are *two* UFC events alone going down this week,” I said to myself, “Not to mention an *actual* TUF premiere, a Bellator event, and who knows what else. Surely there is plenty of real-life, newsworthy information to be had today.”

So you can imagine my surprise when I awoke to find “Joe Rogan says Ronda Rousey would beat Floyd Mayweather Jr.” as the headline dominating many an MMA site and even some that aren’t. And even worse, nearly all of these articles were flooded with the hundreds of comments from people who actually found it necessary to offer their insight into this absolutely imbecilic piece of non-news. (Rousey vs. a cheetah in sweatpants: Who’s the better dancer?”)

“Every fight starts standing, and we all know Floyd’s not afraid to hit women,” joked a commenter who vehemently expressed his outrage over the idea of allowing Fallon Fox to continue fighting just months earlier. “Floyd’s speed would be no match for Ronda’s armbar,” said another who had chastised his favorite MMA publication for daring to waste his time with a breakdown of the Undertaker’s signature move days prior.

I bit my tongue at first, because I don’t exactly have a foot to stand on when it comes to publishing news items that are ever-so-tangentially related to MMA. But the tipping point occurred during last night’s TUF Nations Finale broadcast, when during yet another time-killing session in the FOX studios, Karyn Bryant posed the same question to Daniel Cormier and Anthony Pettis.

“This is ridiculous,” said Pettis before declaring that Floyd would easily win. Unfortunately, it appeared that the idea of a woman beating a man in a fight was what Pettis found ridiculous, not the question itself as I had hoped.

Despite the vast majority of MMA fans claiming to be “purists of the sport” who will blow a gasket at the slightest mention of the WWE and it’s transparent, lowball, and shamefully fabricated product on an MMA site, the discussion of how Ronda Rousey — a female, MMA fighter, with less than 10 professional contests to her credit — would fare against Floyd Mayweather Jr. — a male, professional boxer, considered to be one of the greatest in the sport’s history — in an MMA contest has somehow managed to infiltrate message boards far and wide and warrant hundreds of comments from these very same people. Baffling, is it not?

Using Gina Carano to continue hyping the Rousey feeding trough that is the women’s bantamweight division is one thing, but now we have to bring in professional boxers to do the job? And not only that, but discuss the idea of man-on-woman violence in the same month we all (rightfully) chastised Will Chope for his past offenses of the very same nature? And when the man being discussed in this fantasy scenario has been convicted of beating the mother of his children, in front of his children? Take this logic, please.

Obviously, one of the things I just described actually happened, whereas the other was dreamed up out of apparent apathy towards the actual fight Ronda Rousey just booked or, you know, the actual female professional boxer who is knocking on her door. But oh, I must have forgot, the UFC is “not interested whatsoever” in pursuing that actual, plausible scenario. Back to playing with these Megaman toys in the bathtub I guess!

I know this piece of absolutely imbecilic (apologies for the repetition, but I find it necessary in this case) non-news is nothing worth flying off the handle over, but this is the Internet after all. My biggest problem with the idea of Rousey vs. Mayweather is why we are so insistent on pushing this impossible fight in a universe where guys like Renan Barao and Jose Aldo exist. You know, guys who are guys and whose names would therefore make more sense as opponents in the ain’t-no-way-never-gonna-happen prospect of Floyd Mayweather becoming an MMA fighter. The downside of being the only “the biggest star the UFC’s ever had,” perhaps?

It’s all about how much time Floyd has to prepare, because he will really have to work on his takedown defense. That would be the big thing. If Ronda got a clinch on him, it’s not just about worrying about being taken down to the ground, it’s worrying about knees to the body. It is worrying about her manipulating his body in ways that he doesn’t understand.

Those were actual words spoken by the typically sane Joe Rogan when seriously discussing (for all intents and purposes) the idea of Rousey vs. Mayweather. Ronda Rousey, who fights Alexis Davis in a couples months at UFC 175. UFC, the promotion that is putting on two fight cards this week including “the most exciting card in network history” at UFC on FOX 11 tomorrow night.

Look, I’m not asking you to openly express your disapproval with the thought of Rousey vs. Mayweather (I’ve already done it for you!), nor am I asking you to blame the MMA media for validating the half-witted discussion of Rousey vs. Mayweather with a plethora of blog posts. I’m simply asking that the next time you see or hear someone make a comparison between MMA/the UFC/Bellator and the WWE, think about how you reacted to this “news” item before you speak. Think about it and add it to the list.

–J. Jones

Either Jon Jones’s Phone Was Stolen, Or He Went Full Homophobe on Instagram Last Night


(Props: BloodyElbow)

UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones caused quite a stir on social media last night when he apparently fired a barrage of homophobic slurs at a Swedish kid named Daniel Javid. After Javid dared to question Bones’s recent statement that he has more heart than Alexander Gustafsson, Jones — or somebody operating his account — went through Javid’s photos and left comments such as “Fag shit,” Fag boys,” and “Homosexuality is a sin.” Jones then posted a selfie as if nothing out-of-the-ordinary had happened.

The official explanation from Jones’s manager Malki Kawa is that his phone was stolen, and someone else was posting those comments without his knowledge. (Don’t worry, Jones already got a new phone.) Whether or not you believe that excuse probably reflects how you feel about Jon Jones in the first place. Do you believe that Jones is openly homophobic and lacks the self-control to keep his opinions to himself? Anecdotes like this certainly don’t help his case. Or, do you believe Kawa’s story, because it would be insane for a UFC superstar to go off like this in public? I’m inclined to lean towards the latter, but who knows?

We’ll update you if and when the UFC releases a statement about this incident.


(Props: BloodyElbow)

UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones caused quite a stir on social media last night when he apparently fired a barrage of homophobic slurs at a Swedish kid named Daniel Javid. After Javid dared to question Bones’s recent statement that he has more heart than Alexander Gustafsson, Jones — or somebody operating his account — went through Javid’s photos and left comments such as “Fag shit,” Fag boys,” and “Homosexuality is a sin.” Jones then posted a selfie as if nothing out-of-the-ordinary had happened.

The official explanation from Jones’s manager Malki Kawa is that his phone was stolen, and someone else was posting those comments without his knowledge. (Don’t worry, Jones already got a new phone.) Whether or not you believe that excuse probably reflects how you feel about Jon Jones in the first place. Do you believe that Jones is openly homophobic and lacks the self-control to keep his opinions to himself? Anecdotes like this certainly don’t help his case. Or, do you believe Kawa’s story, because it would be insane for a UFC superstar to go off like this in public? I’m inclined to lean towards the latter, but who knows?

We’ll update you if and when the UFC releases a statement about this incident.