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UFC on FOX 6: Johnson vs. Dodson — Preliminary Card Results and Commentary

(“Alright folks, we’re about to get these weigh-ins started in a few minutes, but first, please direct your attention to the main stage to see a schizophrenic homeless person doing the robot.” / Photo via CombatLifestyle. To see more pics from this set, click here.)

Before the “Johnson vs. Dodson” main card lineup kicks off on FOX, FX is giving us a preliminary card broadcast featuring a tasty appetizer-platter of cage fights, including Clay Guida vs. Hatsu Hioki, Ryan Bader vs. Vladimir Matyushenko, TJ Grant vs. Matt Wiman, and Mike Russow vs. Shawn Jordan.

Leading us through the UFC on FOX 6 prelims is liveblog first-timer Alex Giardini, who will be stacking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 5 p.m. ET / 2 p.m. PT. (Be gentle with him, okay?) Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest results, and feel free to dump your own thoughts into the comments section.

Before the “Johnson vs. Dodson“ main card lineup kicks off on FOX, FX is giving us a preliminary card broadcast featuring a tasty appetizer-platter of cage fights, including Clay Guida vs. Hatsu Hioki, Ryan Bader vs. Vladimir Matyushenko, TJ Grant vs. Matt Wiman, and Mike Russow vs. Shawn Jordan.

Hello, ‘Taters….I’m popping my live blog cherry right now, so I’m all like, nervous and confident at the same time…anyways, as I tuned into the Facebook portion I was glad to hear that familiar voice once again. Yep, Goldie is back! (umm, should I be this excited though….or you don’t know what you got ’til its gone?!) In all seriousness, I’m glad he’s back; maybe he got some words of wisdom from the singer of Crazy Town or something. The lone fight on Facebook was Simeon Thoresen against David Mitchell and I wish I could tell you what happened in the last three minutes but the stream cut. Hopefully they will rebroadcast the fight at the beginning of the show or at least the conclusion.

Now I’m hearing Anik’s voice so I’m all confused but Goldie and Rogan are yelling at me on my screen and HERE WE GO (yeah, yeah, I know…). BG Tha God just informed me Mitchell defeated Thorensen by unanimous decision. Alright, on to the middleweights…

Rafael Natal vs. Sean Spencer

Round 1: Arianny gets the usual up and down and Spencer comes out blazing….goes for some punches but cannot connect. Natal with a low kick. Natal working the low kick and pokes Spencer in the eye. He takes a few seconds. Both try to work their jabs and Spencer catches a low kick. Natal moving around well in a southpaw stance. Natal switches his stance. Spencer going for it, mixing it up with punches and kikcs but isn’t landing many strikes. Spencer trying to work a jab-jab-hook but to no avail yet. Natal working his way back and forth with southpaw, switching it up. Natal tries a spinning-back fist and follows up with a landed kick. Superman punch by spencer but misses. Left hook drops Natal but he’s back up and does the Shogun “clear the air” thing. Natal throwing some big ones but doesn’t land. Both trying to find their groove. Spencer hits Natal with a good jab. Natal lands a nice combo, including a right hand. Natal shoots, stuffed by Spencer and Spencer has got him against the fence. He breaks off abd they are in the middle again. Spencer lands a nice right hand. Spencer has got a little cut, nothing too serious for now. Natal lands a spinning-back fist, followed by a right that drops Spencer. Natal mounts him and works but Spencer is fidgeting and survives. 10-9 Spencer.

Round 2: Spencer is pushing the pace, forcing Natal back. Both still working the jab. Spencer lands a nice right. Spencer lands a nice jab but Natal is working well with low leg-kicks. Spencer is landing a few strikes but Natal is working those kicks, with a nice side-kick that leads to a takedown. Spencer has his back up against the cage and Natal tries to mount. They are on their feet as Spencer avoids a choke but Natal is working him against the fence. A bit of stalling here.. Double-under-hooks by Natal and he gets another takedown. Natal in the guard now, and Spencer is giving him the bear-hug. Spencer doing well to avoid damage. Natal punching the ribs a bit. Nice hammerfist by Natal and he is looking to get his opponent’s back. Natal has his back and his punching away at the body. He’s got him flattened out and is working the choke. Spencer is literally saved by the bell. 10-9 Natal

Round 3: Spencer takes a few deep breaths and looks slightly slower. Natal is working backwards with everything Spencer throws at him. Natal gets another takedown and is in side control from the top. Natal’s side-mount is at ninety degrees and Natal is looking for a crucifix. He gets Spencer’s right arm and starts landing a few elbows. Natal now locks up the left arm with his legs. Natal goes for the Americana, doesn’t get it…almost though. Spencer is cut open on the forehead. Natal goes for the arm triangle and after a few seconds, Spencer taps. Natal gets his first submission win in the UFC.

Rafael Natal def. Sean Spencer by Submission (Arm Triangle), Round 3, 2:13.

Natal looks into the camera and says he’s got the best coach in the world, a beautiful body and a great girlfriend. Man, me too bro…me too.

Chicago’s own Mike Russow up next…

Mike Russow vs. Shawn Jordan

Round 1: Glove touch and things are underway. Russow grapples early but Jordan breaks away. Russow leads in with some strikes and puts Jordan up against the cage. Jordan shifts over and escapes. Russow tags Jordan with a huge right. Russow tags him with a knee and bloodies Russow. Jordan is cut under his right away. Russow working a single and eventually pits Jordan up against the cage again. Jordan tries to escape but Russow keeps pushing him back against the fence. They finally break away and Jordan looks tired. Russow tags him with a right hand. He follows with a few uppercuts and gets a takedown. Russow has double-underhooks from the back but Jordan is keeping his feet grounded. Russow keeps landing the right hand. He goes for a single leg and Jordan rolls out of it. Crowd yells for a knee but Jordan’s hand is down. Now Jordan tags Russow with a good one but Russow is still working the fence game. Jordan throws a couple of strikes in the final seconds but it is all Russow so far. 10-9 Russow

Round 2: Jordan is a little busted up. They touch gloves again and Jordan goes in with an uppercut and right hand. Russow lands a right hand of his own. Jordan goes for a strike and eyepoke, once again. Russow recovers fast. Russow going in with a combo but Jordan gets the better of him with his own combination. Russow is looking very tired. Jordan lands a nice right and goes for the takedown. Jordan mounts Russow and is working with punches and elbows. Jordan switches to back-mount. Jordan keeps Russow down and keeps his weight on Russow’s back. Russow goes for a foot-lock, uses it to sweep and gets up. Russow goes for a front-choke, doesn’t get it. Russow lands a nice knee after Jordan takes his hand off the ground. Jordan gets another takedown and lands a nice short elbow. Jordan works the short elbows as a part of his ground and pound. Russow trying to scramble but Jordan gets full mount and starts to hammerfist. Russow gives him his back and Jordan is landing some big shots. Russow covers up and Herb Dean stops the fight.

Shawn Jordan def. Mike Russow by TKO, Round 2, 3:48.

That was quite the reverse from Round 1…let’s see if Matyushenko can pull off the upset here.

Ryan Bader vs. Vladimir Matyushenko

Round 1: I’m going to pull one from the BG liveblog rulebook and abbreviate Matyushenko to Maty. I wonder if his friends call him that. Anyhow Bader looks in phenomenal shape, maybe the best we’ve seen him look. Big John starts things off and both fighters a little hesitant to engage. Maty goes for a jab, misses. Bader lands a big left hook and drops Maty. Bader follows and gets Maty in an arm-choke from the bottom. Maty looks like he’s in mid-summersault. Bader switches to half-guard and chokes out Maty. It’s all over. Poor Maty. Fastest submission in light heavyweight history.

Ryan Bader def. Vladimir Matyushenko by Submission (Guillotine), Round 1, 0:50.

Did Bader just say he was working with Andrei Markov? Sorry, I’m a Habs fan…Stumpf vs. Krauss up next. Before our next fight, there will be an interview with Jones and Sonnen promoting TUF…this should be quite good.

Rogan asks Sonnen what he would call himself…Jones says Chael is “not too bad”. Sonnen looks hella sharp. Sonnen avoids the question about him deserving the fight and promotes the tournament and the next episode. Sonnen 2016, or whenever you guys elect the leader of the world. Chael does the whole “John Holmes” bit and Rogan reminds him that John Holmes is a dead junkie and does not know who Puff Daddy is. Sonnen promoting this tournament like a boss. Nice scripted staredown…. Ok, enough of this then…

Mike Stumpf vs. Pascal Krauss

Round 1: Askren in Krauss’ corner…feel like he should get the shout-out for his eyebrow-raising finish this week. They touch gloves and Krauss starts working the jab but doesn’t land any. They are standing toe-to-toe and Krauss nails a nice low-kick. Stumpf gets in a nice and loud leg-kick and Krauss return the favor. Stumpf tries to land some short strikes and wobbles Krauss with a short leg-kick. Stumpf really going in with kicks and Krauss lands one out of three thrown. Stumpf gets the takedown and is in Krauss’ full-guard. Stumpf trying to gain advantage but couldn’t. They are back to their feet. Nice superman punch/lead uppercut by Krauss. Both are throwing leg kicks and Krauss goes for a takedown but cannot secure. He’s got Krauss clinched up against the cage. They breakaway and Krauss lands another kick. Krauss’ uppercut misses but his leg-kicks are doing well thus far. Big front-kick by Krauss, reminiscent of Anderson. Stumpf misses an uppercut. Krauss hits Stumpf with a big uppercut and drops him but Stumpf regains composure. Stumpf goes for a takedown but nice defense by Krauss. Krauss goes for a standing guillotine but cannot lock it in. The horn sounds. 10-9 Krauss

Round 2: Krauss lands another good kick. Both land nice jabs. Krauss again with the high-kick but not as effective. Krauss lands a nice combination, including an uppercut. Krauss leads in with a leg-kick but misses the uppercut. Stumpf is throwing but missing a lot. Krauss tags him with another right. Nice low-kick by Stumpf. Krauss keep landing the jab. Nice uppercut again by Krauss. Krauss secures the takedown and Stumpf switches, gets his back on the feet and now takes down Krauss. Krauss is sitting up and Stumpf is trying to flatten him out. Stumpf steps over but cannot tie up the legs. Stumpf going for the choke but Krauss is back to his feet. Krauss shifts Stumpf against the fest and starts dirty boxing. Krauss has opened a little cut under Stumpf’s left eye. Another uppercut by Krauss. Stumpf lands an uppercut of his own. Krauss tries the takedown but eventually gets the front head-lock. Krauss has Stumpf clinched and is landing some nice shots. Krauss is landing some uppercuts against the fence. Nice short elbow by Krauss. The round ends with the two breaking away and Stumpf sneaking in a leg-kick. 10-9 Krauss.

Round 3: Krauss starts to jab, works effectively. Krauss is working that right uppercut as Stumpf pushes forward. Krauss lands a good right while Stumpf backs into the fence. Stumpf’s mouthpiece drops but it delays the fight only a second. Krauss lands that superman uppercut again. Krauss pushes Stumpf against the fence with fast combinations including some great right hands. Big swing and miss by Stumpf. Krauss grapples Stumpf against the fence and lands a good knee. Krauss is backing off and landing his shots accurately. Nice knee by Krauss again. Nice right hand by Stumpf. Nice body shot landed by Krauss with the left leg. Krauss starts to turn it up with a big right hand. Krauss is landing those leg-kicks over and over again. Krauss locks up for a takedown but good sprawl by Krauss. Both fighters trade uppercuts but Krauss gets a few more right hands in. Stumpf now trying for a takedown and has Krauss against the cage. Krauss pivots and takes Stumpf down. Krauss in Stumpf’s guard and is trying to sweep. Krauss landing some body shots and some strikes to the head. Krauss is laying on top and Dean asking Krauss to work. Krauss mounts to his feet to land some more shots before the horn sounds.

Pascal Krauss def. Mike Stumpf by Unanimous Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)

Everyone’s favorite Lebowski is up next, looking like Burt Reynolds if he played in Poison.

Goldie flirts with Rogan a bit and tells him he’s the best comedian ever. Rogan says Goldie is funny too, sometimes unintentionally (!). They share a laugh and potentially an affair. I’m happy for these guys.

Clay Guida vs. Hatsu Hioki

Round 1: Guida is seen running around as Buffer introduces. Madrigal summons them and Guida refuses to touch gloves. Guida opens with the usual frantic pace and lands a right hand. Guida leading in with some leg-kicks. Guida gets in a nice body shot. Hioki not yet falling into Guida’s pace but he is switching stances. Hioki counters with a nice uppercut. Guida shuffling left to right, reminiscent of the Maynard fight but he’s working a lot more. Hioki keeps catching Guida with the counter. Hioki goes for a low kick and misses. Guida goes for the takedown and it gets stuffed. Hioki tags him with a right hand. Both men clinch together briefly and they separate. Hioki lands a nice jab. Guida lands a nice leg-kick. Inside leg-kick by Hioki. Guida is bouncing around but hasn’t landed anything significant. Guida takes him down and Hioki locks up a wrist. Guida breaks free and full-guard for Hioki. Guida hooks a leg and good roll by Hioki. Hioki is sitting up postured against the fence but Guida isn’t letting go. Hioki gets his back and Guida is doing well by stepping over and scrambling. Both men on their feet and Hioki has Guida’s head locked up. Both men break free and start to exchange wild punches, none land. Round 1 ends as both men shuffle back and forth. Very close, but I’ll say 10-9 Hioki.

Round 2: Guida’s getting tighter on the inside and lands a nice leg-kick. Guida picks up Hioki and nice fireman’s carry as he slams him down. Guida is trying to control Hioki’s hips but Hioki has got a leg. Kimura attempt by Hioki. Cannot get it but he is still controlling Guida’s arm. Hioki goes for the triangle. Hioki goes for the armbar but Guida lightly slams him on the ground. Guida in Hioki’s guard and is working well with his strikes. Guida is keeping active on the ground, trying to step over. Good butterfly guard by Hioki. Guida keeps on grounding and pounding. Guida cannot pass guard yet. He keeps working with fists and elbows. Fans are cheering Guida on. Hioki is holding position but cannot really more. Guida briefly goes for the arm-triangle but lets go. Hioki trying to control Guida’s hips. Referee breaks them apart and stands them up (not a great call). Guida throwing some wild combos but nothing landing. Big head-kick by Hioki. Hioki follows up with some more kicks. 10-9 Guida.

Round 3: Both fighters exchanges jabs, nothing really landing. Nice uppercut by Hioki as they both trade. Hioki leading in with some low and high kicks. Guida gets another takedown and again Hioki controls the wrist. Hioki tries to slap on the triangle. Hioki has his legs wrapped up around Guida who has his feet grounded. Guida pushed Hioki back down and is trying to get his right leg free. Guida on top, pushing Hioki towards the fence. Hioki is trying to break free as Guida keeps working. Guida trying to work as Hioki tries to get back to his feet. Guida gives a “yes, sir” as referee warns him to keep working. Guida is trying to secure Hioki’s hips around his waist and the ref stands them up. Hioki lands a head-kick again. Hioki keeping Guida at bay with kicks. Hioki with another kick. Hioki stuffs Guida’s last takedown attempt as the fight ends. This could be a weird one, as both fighters had good moments throughout the fight. 10-9 Guida.

Clay Guida def. Hatsu Hioki by Split Decision (29-28 Hioki, 30-27 Guida, 29-28 Guida)

Guida wins in his featherweight debut. Hey, It’s Jason Guida!

TJ Grant vs. Matt Wiman

Round 1: Grant with a swing and a miss. Wiman throws a flurry of punches, all miss. Wiman with a nice kick. Wiman working with low kicks. Wiman technical with striking. Good right hand by Grant. Wiman’s short elbow misses. Wiman keeps throwing some uppercuts but none land. Grant with some nice punches to the body and both men throwing wild punches. Grant is landing some nice punches on the inside. Both men very technical, very tight. Wiman misses with the headkick. Grant clinches Wiman and a knee in. Grant rocks Wiman with a strike and follows up with a knee but doesn’t land it. Wiman gets the takedown, saving himself from potential trouble. Grant loosens up and gets on top of Wiman. Grant starts to land some clean shots from the top. Grant backs off and lets Wiman up. Wiman’s face is bloodied. Nice knee to the body by Grant. Wiman is pushed up against the fence and Grant lands a gnarly elbow as Wiman is up against the fence. Wiman drops and Grant follows up before Big John steps in.

TJ Grant def. Matt Wiman by Knockout (Strikes), Round 1, 4:51.

Alright, ‘Taters (never forgive me for that one, ever)…the main card is next which means that is it for me. It was a real pleasure and I loved the Italian jabs as I was eating my chicken parm’. Honestly, I expected worse from you guys. Thanks for letting me share these fights with you. See you soon, Potato Nation…

UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping — Live Results & Commentary

(That awkward moment when one of your most marketable fighters denies the existence of his opponent’s Lord and Savior. Pretty typical face-off stuff, really. / Photo via MMAJunkie.com)

The last time that Vitor Belfort fought in Sao Paulo, this happened. Fourteen years later, those still-lethal fists are the only thing separating Michael Bisping from the middleweight title shot that has stayed maddeningly out of his reach. So will Belfort triumph in front of his countrymen tonight at the Ibirapuera Arena, or will Bisping defy the haters and take what belongs to him?

Elsewhere on the UFC on FX 7 lineup: Gabriel Gonzaga‘s heavyweight comeback faces its first big test in Ben Rothwell, Khabib Nurmagomedov goes for his 19th-straight victory against Thiago Tavares, and TUF Brazil standout Daniel Sarafian will do his best to defend the relentless takedowns of Massive Doucheface.

Round-by-round updates from the “Belfort vs. Bisping” main card broadcast will be available after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and make the world a little less lonely by tossing your thoughts into the comments section.

(That awkward moment when one of your most marketable fighters denies the existence of his opponent’s Lord and Savior. Pretty typical face-off stuff, really. / Photo via MMAJunkie.com)

Preliminary card results:

– Godofredo Castro def. Milton Vieira via split-decision (28-27 x 2, 27-28)

– Ronny Markes def. Andrew Craig via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)

– Nik Lentz def. Diego Nunes via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 30-26)

– Edson Barboza def. Lucas Martins via submission (punches), 2:38 of round 1

– Yuri Alcantara vs. Pedro Nobre resulted in a no contest (Nobre was knocked out by strikes to the back of the head), 2:11 of round 1

– Ildemar Alcantara def. Wagner Prado via submission (kneebar), 2:39 of round 2

– Francisco Trinaldo def. C.J. Keith via submission (arm triangle choke), 1:50 of round 2

And now the main card…

Khabib Nurmagomedov vs. Thiago Tavares
As I once wrote, “God help the CagePotato writers who have to type [Nurmagomedov’s] name during liveblogs. (Not it, guys.)” Well, shit. Due to a last-minute withdrawal, I (BG) have to soldier up and make it happen. I’ll be shortening his name to “Nurma,” and I don’t even think Khabib himself would judge me for that.

Round 1: Tavares trying to back Nurma down to the fence, and Nurma brushes him away with a high kick and overhand right. Nurma throws another big wild punch but misses. Tavares lands a straight, but Nurma connects moments later with a sneaky left uppercut that drops Tavares to the canvas. He follows it up with a carpet-bombing of elbows from the top that puts Tavares’s lights out. Aaaaaaand still undefeated…Nurmagomedov def. Tavares via KO, 1:55 of round 1. The UFC production crew realizes that a translated English-to-Russian-to-English post-fight interview wouldn’t be very well-received by the Brazilian crowd, and they wisely skip it.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Ben Rothwell

Round 1: Rothwell snaps out a pair of punches, and Gonzaga responds by shooting for a takedown. He gets Rothwell down, but Rothwell makes his way to his feet. Gonzaga sticks onto Rothwell, dragging Big Ben to the mat again despite a very blatant fence grab that Rothwell is warned for. Rothwell’s up again, and down again. Gonzaga with some wall-n-stall. They’re separated. Rothwell misses a jab and Gonzaga clinches up with him, landing a punch as Rothwell shakes out. Rothwell lands a punch. He puts Gonzaga against the fence, and is warned for a knee to the ball-area. They separate and Gonzaga starts finding his range with punches, making Rothwell’s legs go shaky at one point. Rothwell answers. A little jockeying against the fence and the horn sounds. Rothwell goes back to his corner with a cut under his eye. 10-9 Gonzaga.

Round 2: Right straight from Gonzaga lands. They clinch and trade knees. Gonzaga staggers Rothwell with two more rights, looks for a takedown, and grabs an arm-in guillotine when Rothwell tries to sprawl. Gonzaga pulls guard and bears down on the choke. Rothwell taps once, and looks pretty pissed off at himself as the ref ends the fight. Rothwell def. Gonzaga via submission (guillotine choke), 1:01 of round 2.

“Speaking of nice guys, the *infectious* Junior Dos Santos…” Jon Anik says, pointing out Cigano in the crowd, and making subtle reference to the herpes outbreak that ruined his marriage.

Daniel Sarafian vs. CB Dollaway

Round 1: Dollaway dashes in with some awkward looking jabs and Sarafian counters him with ease. Dollaway lands a leg kick. They land hooks simultaneously. Sarafian makes good contact with a charging punch combo. Sarafian lands an overhand right as Dollawya lands a kick to the body. Sarafian lands a straight to the body. Sarafian drops Dollaway, but Dollaway grabs onto Sarafian’s leg and makes his way back to his feet. Sarafian throwing with serious power, and lands a cross/hook combo. Dollaway jabbing. Sarafian again with the overhand right. Dollaway sticks the jab, Sarafian gives one back. He pushes forward with punches. Sarafian goes to the body. Dollaway taunting Sarafian, God knows why. Sarafian attacks at the horn but doesn’t catch Dollaway with anything. 10-9 Sarafian.

Round 2: Sarafian getting loose in the cage, shuckin’ and duckin’. Dollaway lands a long jab. Sarafian throws a spinning kick and misses. They briefly clinch against the fence. Dollaway lands his jab. He scores with a leg kick. Sarafian staggers Dollaway again with his big overhand right. Dollaway with a solid kick to the body. He throws another one, Sarafian catches it and trips Dollaway down, but Dollaway pops back up. Dollaway sticking with those kicks even though Sarafian is onto them by now. Both guys trading punches, Dollaway continuing to work the jab, and Sarafian throwing more big rights. Dollaway catches Sarafian with a big punch coming in, and Sarafian drops to his knees on the mat. Dollaway fires down some shots in an attempt to end the fight before the round ends, but Sarafian is saved by the horn.

Round 3: Dollaway throws a high-kick. Big hook from Sarafian lands, Dollaway swings back to counter and lands. Dollaway reaching forward with that jab. Dollaway lands a kick to the gut, then a short hook. Sarafian lands a big overhand right, Dollaway answers with a big right of his own. Dollway lands again and Sarafian is on his heels. Dollaway takes Sarafian down. Sarafian works to his feet but Dollaway is hugging him around the middle, and converts the takedown. Dollaway on Sarafian’s back. Sarafian rolls, and sweeps a fatigued Dollaway off of him. Now Sarafian is on top. He’s got 90 seconds to steal this round. Dollaway rolls, Sarafian seizes his back and tries to set up a RNC. Dollaway escapes and gets in Sarafian’s guard. Sarafian escapes. Dollaway shoots for a leg and takes a knee to the face. He continues to pursue Sarafian as the round ends. Could be a close decision coming up…
Dollaway def. Sarafian via split-decision (29-28 x 2, 28-29). Even the translator sounds pissed off. The crowd tries to drown out CB’s interview response with boos. Something about landing his takedowns. Oh man. This is kind of brutal. Honestly, if Bisping takes out Belfort next, there could be actual rioting in this building.

Unrelated: I wonder what these bros are up to tonight.

Vitor Belfort vs. Michael Bisping

Round 1: Bisping takes the center of the Octagon. He feels Belfort out with jabs. Belfort throws a front kick. Inside leg kick from Bisping. Belfort throws a left head kick that’s blocked. Belfort long-jumps into Bisping and almost gets punches out of mid-air. Bisping starting to committ with his punches. Belfort misses a reverse kick. Bisping whiffs on a right straight. He comes in again and eats on uppercut. Bisping lands the inside leg kick again. Swing and a miss from Belfort. Belfort lands a body kick. Bisping tapping Belfort with the jab. Bisping tries to call time-out for an eye poke, but changes his mind and goes right back in. Bisping moves in with a punch and spinning kick but doesn’t have the right range. Belfort lands a punch that staggers Bisping, and chases him with punches as the round ends. That might be enough to give Belfort the edge.

Round 2: Low leg kick from Bisping. Belfort scares Bisping off with a fast straight. 1-2 from Belfort. Bisping jabs. A massive left-head kick from Belfort drops Bisping! Belfort lays on some finishing punches from the top and it’s all over.
Belfort def. Bisping via TKO, 1:27 of round 2. Belfort says he’s only there because of God. He thanks his wife, camp, and Brazil, and gives all the glory to Jesus. Then he loses his mind about Chael Sonnen, ordering Dana and Lorenzo to get that clown out of the title fight with Jon Jones. Hey, from your mouth to God’s ears, buddy.

Michael Bisping has no sour grapes in his post-fight interview. “He was the better man…you win some, you lose some, I’m not going away.”

So now what? Weidman vs. Lombard for the next middleweight title shot? I doubt Belfort will be getting another chance any time soon, despite his post-fight pleas.

And now we get a look at Edson Barboza’s execution of Lucas Martins from the prelims. Martins gets kicked in the balls about 30 seconds into the fight, and pops a squat against the cage to recover. Ugh. He’s going back in after about a minute and a half, but you can tell he’s not completely ready. Martins is a game opponent, active with his attacks even if they’re not doing much. He gets a little too wild, though, swinging his punches during a striking blitz and leaving his chin out. Barboza finds it with a left hand, and Martins’s legs go all noodly. Barboza slams down punches as Martins’s head is wedged against the fence, and Martins eventually taps to the onslaught. The fight is stopped at 2:38 of the first frame.

That’s it, folks. If you’re on the East Coast and you have no taste in comedy, enjoy the new episode of Anger Management.

Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine — Live Results and Commentary

(I know what you’re thinking: Why the hell did they leave Nandor Guelmino off the poster? Well I don’t mean to alarm you, but that bright shining ball of fire in the background *is* Nandor Guelmino.)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the end of the world. Tonight’s last-ever Strikeforce event went from a championship triple-header to Squash City in a hurry, and it’s okay to feel depressed about it. (If you need somebody to talk to, call 1-888-BRO-TATO and one of our mental health professionals will be on the line shortly.)

On the main card this evening, Nate Marquardt puts his welterweight title on the line against Belgian standout Tarec Saffiedine, Daniel Cormier and Josh Barnett try not to shit the bed against their unheralded opponents, Gegard Mousasi returns from a long layoff to face Mike Kyle, and Ed Herman crosses the UFC/Strikeforce DMZ to bang with the always-dangerous Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.

Like a spirit guide leading us from one realm of existence to the next, Jim Genia will be sticking round-by-round results from the “Marquardt vs. Saffiedine” Showtime broadcast after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET. Make your voices heard in the comments section, and please, let’s honor this moment.

Please stand by…

“Like a spirit guide”? Is that a reference to my Native American heritage? Booyah, Jim Genia here, ready to deliver some tender hospice care to the terminally ill Strikeforce. But shed not a tear for its passing, as it lived a long, fruitful life.

Also, this past year Strikeforce kinda sucked.

Results from the prelims:

-Ryan Couture def. KJ Noons via Split Decision (29-28, 27-30, 29-28)

-Tim Kennedy def. Trevor Smith via Submission (Guillotine) at 1:36, R3

-Pat Healy def. Kurt Holobaugh via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)

-Roger Gracie def. Anthony Smith via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 3:16, R2

-Adriano Martins def. Jorge Gurgel via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

-Estevan Payan def. Michael Bravo via TKO (Punches) at 4:01, R2

First bout of the main card: Jacare Souza vs. Ed Herman.

As a former Strikeforce middleweight champ who’d faced just about everyone worthwhile in what has traditionally been an anemic division, Souza literally had no one to dance with at this last Strikeforce event. Wat do?! Well, the options were to either put an ad on Craiglist or get someone from the UFC to slum it. Enter: TUF runner-up Herman, because, hey, why not.

Round 1: These two waste no time mixing it up, with Herman and Souza getting up close and personal against the cage and banging on each other with their fists. They separate, and when Herman lurches forward to re-engage, the Brazilian easily changes levels and takes him down. From his back, Herman furiously fires off upkicks to his opponent – which, uh, with Souza on his knees trying to pass the American’s guard, is pretty illegal. The referee stands them up, warns Herman but inexplicably does not dock him a point, and to add insult to injury, restarts them on the feet. No matter. Souza blasts Herman in the grill with a front kick, dumps him back onto the canvas, and nails the shoulder-busting kimura submission that has Herman tapping at 3:10 of the first round.

Jacare Souza def. Dave Herman via Submission (Kimura) at 3:10, R1

Next up, Mike Kyle vs. Gegard Mousasi.

Once upon a time, Kyle was a dude who’d fight you, bite you, and kick you in the head when you were on the ground. But after a lengthy suspension and possibly a readjustment of his psychotropic drug regimen, Kyle has returned a calmer, more mature competitor. Mousasi was once a Strikeforce light-heavyweight champ, a title he earned by virtue of his pinpoint-accurate boxing – and a title he lost by virtue of his dismal wrestling. So, yeah, good times.

Round 1: Kyle comes out headhunting, and Mousasi answers with some solid head-movement and a kick that slams into the American’s leg with a sound like a baseball bat slapping into a slab of meat. They trade more kicks and punches, and the former champ ducking low and grabbing Kyle around the waist. No takedown comes, so they separate and bang it out some more. With three minutes left, Mousasi gets the takedown, and on the ground he slowly but surely begins the prison rape that results in Kyle’s doom. First it’s side-control, then mount, then massive blows from above, and the end comes when Mousasi slips on the rear naked choke and forces Kyle to tap at 4:09 of the first round.

Gegard Mousasi def. Mike Kyle via Submission (Rear Naked Choke) at 4:09, R1

Next, Josh Barnett vs. Nandor Guelmino.

Barnett was once a UFC champ before he pissed hot and had to give up the belt, yet he’s remained relevant throughout the years by kicking ass just about everywhere else. He of course fell short in Strikeforce’s much-maligned heavyweight grand prix, coming in second place to Daniel Cormier, but his opponent tonight is literally just some dude with a cool name and nothing else.

Round 1: It takes about all of nine seconds for Barnett to get Guelmino down. He spends a minute there, methodically dropping a forearm or two, then falls back into a heelhook attempt that Guelmino escapes from by getting back to his feet. The former UFC champ follows him up, clinches, and pulls him down, then slides into mount and deftly applies an arm-triangle choke. Guelmino taps out at 2:11, and we never hear from him again.

Josh Barnett def. Nandor Guelmino via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 2:11, R1

Next, Daniel Cormier vs. Dion Staring.

After winning the aforementioned heavyweight grand prix, Cormier is pretty much a lock on being someone of note in the UFC. But first he has to get through the always-dangerous Staring, who… who… Ah man, I can’t do it. I can’t lie to you. Staring is the only man on the planet not named Nando Guelmino who was dumb enough to agree to face a top-level heavyweight he has no business being in the cage with. So hold onto your hats, because this one might be ending with a deep voice declaring “Fatality!”

Round 1: Staring stands in front of Cormier with his hand outstretched, perhaps as some sort of gesture of peace or maybe a distraction. Cormier doesn’t fall for the trick, though, and nails him in the face with a high-kick. Seconds later Cormier tries a trip that Staring avoids, but the follow-up throw does it, and the number one heavyweight in Strikeforce scrambles around threatening his foe with a crucifix and an armbar. Staring escapes back to his feet, gets taken down again, escapes back to his feet, and gets taken down even more easily. From mount, Cormier simply batters him, and to the surprise of many, Staring makes it to the end of the round.

Round 2: Staring comes out aggressive, and is immediately stifled against the cage by Cormier’s far-superior wrestling. They break after a minute and Staring is huffing and puffing, and when they tie up, Cormier uses a textbook inside-trip to put his opponent down. Staring rolls and turtles, eats punches and rolls some more, all the while eating enough leather to choke a horse. Cormier is on him like white on rice no matter where he goes, and with the beating delivered nonstop and Staring’s defense nonexistent, referee John McCarthy is forced to step in at 4:02 of Round 2 lest Staring die.

Daniel Cormier def. Dion Staring via TKO (Punches) at 4:02, R2

Next and final bout: Nate Marquardt vs. Tarec Saffiedine.

Marquardt was always the bridesmaid but never the bride in his tenure with the UFC, but when he showed up at Strikeforce’s doorstep and had a stellar performance against Tyron Woodley, he was suddenly a man with a championship belt. Saffiedine has been a top contender in the organization for a while, and his keen striking and Team Quest-honed wrestling should make for a nice little scrap in this main event.

Round 1: It takes 30 seconds for one of these guys to break their steady circling and land something, and it’s a fast kick to the thigh by Saffiedine. They circle some more, and Marquardt lands kicks of his own. It’s pretty much tit-for-tat, until the champ comes forward, eats a punch and drops to a knee for a split second. Saffiedine attempts to capitalize, yet he’s met with a takedown attempt, and when he stuffs it and they separate, one thing is clear: the challenger is faster and crisper with his strikes. Perhaps cognizant of that fact, Marquardt makes sure the rest of the round is spent clinching against the fence.

Round 2: Like the opening of the first, they start off this round circling, and after a minute expires Marquardt goes for a takedown. He doesn’t get that one, but gets the next one 30 seconds later. Saffiedine pops right up, and Marquardt resumes trying to push the Belgian fighter through the fence like he’s a piece of cheese on a grater. Referee McCarthy gets sick of the man-huggery after a bit and pulls them apart, and Saffiedine continues to chips away at his foe with lightning-like leg-kicks. The horn sounds with Marquardt looking like he’s shook.

Round 3: Saffiedine continues on with his mission to turn Marquardt’s leg into hamburger, so of course Marquardt tries hug him to death against the cage (with varying levels of success). They make some space and Saffiedine walks forward covering up but coiled like a cobra, and Marquardt attempts a flying knee that really does nothing. The two bang on each other a bit, Marquardt with punches and Saffiedine with his kicks, and the horn sounds with the champ going for a fruitless takedown attempt.

Round 4: Marquardt’s thigh is a bright shade of purple, and Saffiedine resumes chopping it to bits. The champ turns up the heat with his punches, yet each successive shin to his leg threatens to crumble him. Marquardt changes tact and tries to catch those kicks, but to no avail, and from the punching exchanges he ends up with blood on his face. It is almost all Saffiedine at this point.

Round 5: The limb destruction continues, and to show he’s got other tricks, Saffiedine throws a sweet question mark-kick that Marquardt barely dodges. They end up grinding against the cage for a bit, then separate and kickbox – an endeavor that the Belgian striker cannot lose. With 45 seconds to go, Saffiedine flips the script and nails a takedown, and finishes the round beating on Marquardt from above. There is no doubt he’s got the unanimous decision in the bag when all is said and done.

Tarec Saffiedine def. Nate Marquardt via Unanimous Decision (48-47, 49-46, 49-46)

That’s all she wrote, folks. Have a nice night. Or don’t. I don’t care.

Strikeforce: Marquardt vs. Saffiedine — Live Results and Commentary

Please stand by…

Also, this past year Strikeforce kinda sucked.

Results from the prelims:

-Ryan Couture def. KJ Noons via Split Decision (29-28, 27-30, 29-28)

-Tim Kennedy def. Trevor Smith via Submission (Guillotine) at 1:36, R3

-Pat Healy def. Kurt Holobaugh via Unanimous Decision (29-28, 30-27, 30-27)

-Roger Gracie def. Anthony Smith via Submission (Arm-Triangle Choke) at 3:16, R2

-Adriano Martins def. Jorge Gurgel via Unanimous Decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)

-Estevan Payan def. Michael Bravo via TKO (Punches) at 4:01, R2

UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez II — Main Card Results & Commentary

(What a crazy year it’s been. Just think, four weeks ago that bald guy in the middle was actually homeless. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s UFC 155 weigh-in set on MMAFighting.com)

UFC 155 might not be as epic as some of the UFC’s previous end-of-year cards (you can blame the injury curse for that), but any time the Heavyweight Championship of the World is at stake, it’s must-see TV.

Tonight, defending champ Junior Dos Santos will try to keep the train a-rollin’ in a rematch with his old pal Cain Velasquez. Meanwhile in the co-main event, lightweights Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller will gobble up as many performance bonuses as they can get their little hands on. Plus, six middleweight contenders — including Tim Boetsch, Alan Belcher, and Chris Leben — will swing their ham-hock fists at each other, in the hopes that the most popular kid in school might notice them. Lotsa luck, ladies.

Running our final liveblog of the year (!) will be none other than Elias Cepeda, who will be updating you with round-by-round results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please share your New Year’s resolutions in the comments section.

(What a crazy year it’s been. Just think, four weeks ago that bald guy in the middle was actually homeless. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s UFC 155 weigh-in set on MMAFighting.com)

Chris Leben vs. Derek Brunson

Brunson rocking the classic private entrance song on the headphones walk to the cage. Leben using the Red Hot Chili Peppers to get amped as he walks to the UFC Octagon for the twentieth time.

Rd 1

Brunson leads with left kicks that miss. Leben catches another, tries but fails to get a sweep take down. Brunson counters with his own take down slam.

They work from Leben’s full guard. Brunson stands and tries to pass the guard but is sucked back into the full guard. Leben working an arm bar, Brunson defends. Leben switches to a triangle choke attempt, then another arm bar and Brunson slams his way out of the hold.

Brunson works to the half guard of Leben but the Cat Smasher recovers his full guard. brunson standing and throwing short elbows to the head of Leben. Leben trying to control the wrists and head of Brunson. Brunson stands and passes Leben’s guard, then works into the mount and an arm triangle choke attempt.

Leben rolls and gets a weak half guard back. Brunson lands a big elbow from on top of Leben in his half guard. Minute and a half left. Brunson staying low, trying to keep pressure on Leben. The wrestler begins to get off pot shots again. Leben recomposes to full guard and shoots for an arm bar that is easily defended by Brunson.

Leben is backed up against the cage and tries to stand back up with under a minute left. Leben up to his feet with under thirty seconds left, Brunson briefly takes his back then presses Leben up against the cage. The two separate and the bell ends with them in the center of the ring.

Rd 2

Brunson leads with another high kick. Leben catches it and throws a straight right down the pipe that lands on Brunson’s chin. Brunson wobbled but steadies himself. He shoots in and drives Leben backwards into the fence.

Leben defends the take down attempt well as well as Brunson’s follow up attempts from the double under hooks. Brunson gets tagged on the feet but Brunson shoots in again and scores the take down.

Leben working little hammer shots from the bottom in his full guard. Leben throws up a weak arm bar attempt and Brunson stands up to try striking. Leben cage walks and gets back to his feet. Brunson tries a guillotine choke but Leben easily defends.

Leben lands a big uppercut but Brunson returns fire and stuns Leben with punches of his own. Both men are tired but Leben moves forward. Leben is beginning to score with the round house kick to the leg. Brunson with a one-two punch combination that lands.

Brunson with another straight shot down the pipe to Leben’s head. Leben lands a jab then another leg kick. Brunson closes the distance off of a Leben leg kick and presses Leben backwards against the cage.

Leben frees himself and they are back in the center of the ring. Leben is stalking Brunson and throwing more punches. Brunson looks unsteady on his feet. Leben with another leg kick. Brunson attempts another take down. Leben defends the shot but is working with his back to the cage. Leben circles away from the cage once more and goes back to walking down Brunson. Leben fires a wide looping left hook that misses and the horn sounds.

Rd 3

Brunson lands a glancing lead punch. Brunson lands the double leg take down and presses Leben against the cage. Leben cage walks and returns to his feet. Leben lands another leg kick. Brunson land another big straight punch, shoots for a take down and gets stuffed. Leben throws and misses a big upper cut.

Leben wading in on a tiring Brunson but doesn’t land much. He does land a left that appears to knock mouth guard out. brunson takes Leben down but stands back up after a few moments. Ten seconds left and Leben and Brunson are both swinging big.

The horn sounds and Brunson lets out a celebratory scream instead of accepting a hand shake offer from Leben. Brunson apparently believes that he’s down enough with take downs to win the fight.

Decision time coming up next.

Judges score the fight 29-28 for Derek Burnson. Brunson beats Chris Leben in his UFC debut.

Alan Belcher vs. Yushin Okami II

Belcher is back to avenge his father’s death against former title challenger Yushin Okami. Tough one to call. Belcher insists that Okami is scared of standing and banging with him, bro. Okami says that he’s improved more than Belcher has and that he’ll walk away with another win over the Southern boy.

Rd 1

Belcher’s horrible Johnny Cash tattoo is really distracting from this writer’s play by play blogging, not for nothing. Lots of feinting and big swings from Belcher. Belcher slips and falls after he kicks and Okami lands a jab.

Yushin presses Belcher against the cage, looking for a take down. Okami lands a knee ot the body of Belcher, then tries to land a knee to the head. Belcher doing a good job of defending, then all but asks the ref to separate them. Belcher lands a trip and ends up on top of Okami. He then pulls a guillotine choke and guard on Okami.

The Japanese fighter defends and is inside of Belcher’s guard. Okami presses Belcher against the cage and works for the pass but runs out of real estate as the cage stops him. Okami eventually does pass to side control and looks to have very heavy pressure with his shoudler on Belcher’s neck.

Belcher gets his heels close to his butt and tries to bridge out and escape but Okami’s pressure is too much. Belcher does get to his knees and then tries to get to his feet. Okami locks on a front head lock then transitions to Belcher’s back as the horn sounds.

Rd 2

Okami swings and misses with a big left straight. Okami then presses Belcher against the cage, Belcher lands another take down but then pulls guard working for another failed guillotine attempt. Okami working strikes from on top of Belcher from inside of The Talent’s half guard. Belcher works for a deep half guard sweep but there’s nothing there as Okami’s base is too strong.

Okami now in cross side and the referee makes a malpractice-level decision by standing them up. Horrible. The Nevada State Athletic Commission needs to reconsider the referee’s competence.

Okami quickly brings Belcher back down to the ground, working from on top in half guard again against the cage. Half a minute left with Okami in control from on top on the ground, despite the referee’s attempt to dictate the fight.

The referee stands them up again with twenty seconds left. Okami’s right eye is swollen. the horn sounds.

Rd 3

Okami rushes in looking to clinch right away. Belcher defends and then drops Okami with a big punch following the sage advice of his coach, kick boxing great Duke Roufus. Okami has his legs back under him, stalking Belcher and then rushing him and pressing him against the cage.

For a third time, Belcher gets the better of an Okami take down attempt and lands in mount. Belcher transitions to his back. Okami defends the choke, stands and then frees himself and shoots for another takedown against the cage.

Belcher grabs Okami’s neck and goes for another guillotine choke. Belcher pulls guard and loses the choke. Okami in Belcher’s half guard against the cage with two and a half minutes left. Okami moves to mount but is choosing pressure over being very busy with strikes.

Okami, having established his mount positions, begins to rain down unanswered punches down on Belcher. Belcher turns and gives up his back. Okami gets both hooks in on Belcher, who is face down, and the horn sounds with Okami landing punch after punch from the back.

Decision time coming up.

All three judges score it 30-27 for Okami. Belcher’s four fight win streak is snapped and Okami gets his second straight.

Costa Philippou vs. Tim Boetsch

Rd 1

Few moments of feinting before Boetsch works for a take down. After about thirty seconds of work against the cage, Tim gets the take down. Costa quickly gets back to his feet but Tim stays connected, landing big knees to the body. Costa lands his own and separates.

They are back in teh center of the ring. Tim with a nice rear push kick. Nice inside leg kick from Boetsch. Costa witha left to the body, right to the head, punch combo. Boetsch pushing the pace, lands another leg kick. Tim pushes Costa against the fence but Costa catches Tim with a big upper cut counter.

Tim gets another take down and is inside of Costa’s full guard. Costa controlling Tim’s posture and referee Kim Winslow continues the embarassing pattern of the night with a quick stand up.

Costa takes advantage and lands a nasty body-head punch combo, flush to Tim. Boetsch, unfazed, lands a nasty front kick to the face of Costa. The round ends.

Rd 3

Rogan points out that he has heard Tim’s corner man Matt Hume talking about some injury that the fighter has sustained. As the round begins and Tim shakes out his hand, it appears that he may have broken his hand. Tim lands a big knee to the head of Costa from the clinch.

Tim is cut from an accidental head butt on his forehead. It looks like his right hand is the hurt one. Boetsch looks for and misses a take down. Tim lands another front kick to the body. Tim gets an accidental eye poke.

Jon Anik correctly points out that it has been a rough few minutes for Boetsch. Goodness gracious, ain’t that true.

Boetsch gets right back in with minimal rest time. Tim misses with a front kick. Tim now shooting in with minimal set-up and gets stuffed by Costa. Now Costa is on top from the half guard. Tim continues to bleed. Vosta throwing punches and elbows from on top. Costa throwing more strikes, then stands and walks away at the horn.

Rd 3

Tim tells his coach Matt Hume that he can’t see. Hume asks him if he wants to stop. “Fuck no,” is Tim’s reply. They get things started for the final round.

Tim with another shot from Kansas. He’s shooting from too far away with no set ups because of his hand and his blurred vision, it appears. Tim may have gotten another cut. Boetsch is butt scooting, then forced to stand up. Tim tries another failed take down and is again in half guard with three and a half minutes.

Boetsch is hurt and cannot see. He is back on his feet. Tim shoots in again, gets stuffed and is back in his own half guard. Tim eats some big shots and the ref steps in and calls the fight off.

Costa Philppou gets the win and stops Tim Boetsch’s frate trane run. Both men are impressive in their own ways in this one. Nasty fight. Good fight.

Joe Lauzon vs. Jim Miller

Both men come out swinging hard with punches in spurts. Miller tries to set up a big upper cut but misses. Miller with a hard leg kick and a hard shot to the body of Lauzon. Miller with another hard body knee that hurts Joe.

Miller follows up with punches. Lauzon gets free then eats a high kick. Miller landing big with more punches to the body and head then another big knee. Lauzon lands his own then gets free. Miller with another buckling leg kick.

Miller with nasty dirty boxing and elbows from the clinch. Miller tries a standing arm triangle hold, Joe defends and frees himself. Lauzon is cut badly and referee Yves Lavigne stops the fight for him to be checked out by the doctor. The cut is over the right eye.

The fight continues with two minutes and fifteen seconds left. Miller lands a head kick and now more short punches and elbows from Miller. Lauzon returns fire with an upper cut. Miller with an upper cut. Lauzon lands a big knee to the head of Miller. Miller follows up with another left short cross.

Both men fall after a kick from Miller. Lauzon with a straight jab but he’s bleeding badly. Under a minute left. Miller misses with a big over hand left. Lauzon with a right hand, Miller lands a one, two and another inside leg kick. Miller backs Lauzon up against the cage again. Lauzon returns with a jab. Ten seconds left. Miller lands a body kick. Lauzon ends the round with a flying knee to the body.

Rd 2

Lauzon wants the fight to continue badly. The crowd is going nuts. Round two starts. Miller immediately back on the attack with punches. Lauzon eats them but returns fire. Miller with a double leg take down. Lauzon in butterfly guard. Miller attacking the cuts on Lauzon’s face and head. Lauzon in his closed guard.

Lauzon’s cuts are bleeding badly again. Lauzon working to get to his feet instead of going for submissions. Miller in Lauzon’s half guard now, working to pass with heavy pressure on Lauzon’s neck. Lauzon tries to bridge out but Miller bases out and takes the mount.

Lauzon immediately takes back half guard. Miller postures up and throws a nasty elbow and punch to Lauzon’s head. Lauzon working for a deep half guard sweep but getting stuck under Miller’s base. Miller goes for a D’Arce choke but loses it and Lauzon is on top against the cage!

Lauzon is pressing Miller against the cage. Lavigne stops the fight because Lauzon’s hand tape is loose. They re-start from the same position. Good job by Lavigne.

Miller working his mission control rubber guard position to control Lauzon’s right arm. Lauzon picks Miller up and slams up, steps over Miller’s right leg to pass. Miller gets his right knee up into a half butterfly guard. Lauzon clears it again but Miller fights for it again. Lauzon dives for a heel hook, switches to a knee bar, Miller frees himself but Lauzon goes for a front choke. Time runs out with Miller face down on all fours, defending a front head lock from Lauzon.

Rd 3

Miller kicks out Lauzon’s leg again and drops JLau. Lauzon is right back up on his feet. Nice right punch from Lauzon. Miller looks spent from the beating he put on Lauzon in the first. Miller drops Lauzon with another inside leg kick again.

Lauzon chooses to stay down to try and goad Miller to the ground. Miller backs up and the ref stands them up. Lauzon pressing forward on Miller. Miller huffing and punching but returning fire. Stiff jab from Lauzon. Inside leg kick from Lauzon. Miller presses forward trying to land nasty dirty boxing shots again but Joe pushes him off and lands an inside leg kick. Miller with his own.

Knee to the body from Lauzon. miller backs up Short elbow from Lauzon followed up by a left hand. Miller lands his own, softer, knee to the body. Miller cut under his left eye. Lauzon appears to have another cut over his own left eye as well. miller swinging to the body, the, throws an uppercut to Lauzon’s head. Lauzon covers up. Lauzon parries a jab and lands his own. Minute and ah alf left. both men exhausted from this fight of the night. Lauzon swings big and misses.

Miller presses Lauzon against the fence. Lauzon circles out. Under a minute left. Lauzon with a right hand, Miller with a right hook. Lauzon lands a scissor leg take down, working fora heel hook with fifteen seconds left. Miller gets up but Lauzon locks in a guillotine choke. Miller is saved by the horn!

Lauzon looks to have stolen the the final two rounds at the end with submission attempts. Decision time coming up.

All three judges score the fight 29-28 for Jim Miller. Amazing fight.

Cain Velasquez vs. Junior Dos Santos II

Dos Santos gets the MGM Grand Garden Arena hyped with his energetic entrance to the Rocky theme.

Rd 1

Cain presses forward early shoots for and gets a single leg take down. Junior gets up and then lands on top. Cain reverses and they are back on their feet. Cain shoots from too far away and gets stuffed. Cain lands a left hook. Cain with a jab. Cain gets hit then Cain returns fire with a punch.

Body jab from Junior leg kick from Cain. Stiff jab from Cain. Cain dives for a single leg, Junior slips away. Cain stuns Junior with a right.

Cain with an over hand right that lands on the chin of Dos Santos. Cain dives for another single leg that gets stopped. Junior lands an over hand right.

Junior with a jab, Cain with two jabs and a knee to the body. Cain with a jab. Cain pressing Junior against the cage. Cain with with a big shot. Cain drops Dos Santos with a right. Cain lands a lot of shots on the downed Dos Santos. Junior to his feet, Cain takes him down, has Dos Santos on his knees against the cage again, raining down punches.

Junior back to his feet. Cain drags him down again. Junior tries to get up, Cain controls him and keeps him down. Junior back up, Cain drags him down again! Cain on the side of Junior, landing punches with seconds left in the round. The hor sounds with Dos Santos rising to his feet, but wobbled.

Rd 2

Cain slams Dos Santos with a double leg take down. He is behind Dos Santos, landing punches, now on top inside of Junior’s half guard. Junior up to his feet but eating big shots. Cain drags him back down with a double leg take down.

Cain on top of a flattened out Dos Santos. Cain doesn’t throw many more shots and Junior gets up but he is out on his feet, wobbling around. Cain backs him against the cage and takes Junior down again. Junior will not give up or give in and tries to stand again but Cain rides him and keeping the pressure on Dos Santos. Junior back up to his feet, presses Cain against the cage, Cain turns around and lands an inside left hand.

Cain hits an inside leg trip and brings Junior down to the ground. Dos Santos in half guard, Cain landing elbows and punches. Junior reverses positions, Cain goes for an arm bar from the bottom, Junior defends, escapes and gets on top. Cain scrambles up immediately and presses Junior against the cage with under a minute to go.

Cain picking Junior apart with punches upon separation, landing right on the chin to Dos Santos. Junior refuses to go down. The horn sounds.

Rd 3

Cain all but smiling as he prepares to get going in the third. Junior’s face is bruised and swollen. Dos Santos lands a big uppercut that hurts Cain. Dos Santos throws a hard body shot. Cain presses Junior against the cage again.

Cain goes for a single leg take down but Junior defends it. Cain going to the body and throwing an uppercut from the clinch. They are back in the center of the ring. Cain throws an over hand right hand and a left hook that lands. Cain pressing Dos santos against the cage again, looking for space in spots to punch. Cain goes for and misses a single leg take down.

Cain gets inside once more with an uppercut. They work in the clinch, hitting the body. On separation, Junior lands his own left body shot. Cain pressing against the cage again. Junior with a big knee to the body. Cain lands three big shots to the chin of Junior as the champ as his hands completely down at his waist.

Cain pressing again against the cage. Junior circles out and presses Cain against the cage. Cain tries to take Junior down but Junior defends and gets back to his feet. With under a minute left, Cain is once more pressing Junior against the cage and landing punches on separation.

Junior lands a big upper cut on Cain and Cain looks wobbled. Cain continues to stalk Junior though and the horn sounds.

Rd 4

Junior lands a stiff left hook after defending a Cain take down. Velasquez presses Dos Santos into the fence after eating a left. Junior circles out and rips a left to the body of Cain. Junior swings big and misses with a right hand. Cain lands a double leg take down but Dos Santos gets back up. Cain lands another flush shot to the chin of Dos Santos but the champ stays up.

Junior presses Cain against the cage and works for a take down. Cain defends and goes for and lands a take down. Dos Santos on his back, trying to get to his feet. Junior gets back up to his feet and Cain presses him agains the cage, landing a nasty left upper cut to the body. Cain now walking down Junior with punches along the cage. Junior with his hands down.

Cain shooting in weakly for take downs now, obviously spent from beating down on Junior and Dos Santos refusing to quit. One minute left and Cain is landing little shots to the head of Junior against the fence. Junior lands a left knee to the body of Cain. Junior lands a big right elbow and then right uppercut to the face of Cain.

Cain shoots for a single leg and Junior expertly defends before landing a stiff jab to the mid section of Cain. The round ends with Cain pressing Junior against the cage.

Rd 5

Cain with a jab a left hook and shoots in for a take down. Junior defends and lets rip another upper cut to the right side of Cain’s body. Junior now looking lighter on his feet as he moves around the cage. Both men are looking for one shot at a time given how fatigued they are. Cain shoots for another single leg take down but Junior defends. Junior swings and misses with a right hand. Cain shoots for and drives on another take down attempt that Junior defends. Cain with a left uppercut to the body and Junior answers with a right uppercut to the head.

Cain pressing the champ against the cage in an over under clinch. With three minutes left they separate and Junior lands another punch. Junior pressing Cain against the cage now. They separate and Cain lands a trip take down in the center of the ring with two and a half minutes left. Cain mounted on Junior briefly before Dos Santos gets to half guard. Cain landing punch after punch, followed with short elbows and then more punches. Junior gets to all fours in an attempt to get to his feet. Junior is up.

Cain presses him against the cage again before dropping down for a single leg take down that Junior dedends. Junior lands two more punches and Cain sticks to him like glue.

One minute left. Junior frees himself and throws an uppercut. Cain lands a kick to the head, but with his foot, to the left side of Junior’s head. Cain follows up with punches and presses Junior against the cage. fifteeen seconds left.

The fight ends with Cain pressing Junior against the cage. Cain falls to his knees in the center of the ring in celebration as Junior did one year ago.

Decision time up next.

Cain Velasquez wins a dominant unanimous decision to reclaim the UFC heavyweight title. “This fight was the hardest fight I’ve been through,” the now two-time champ tells Joe Rogan.

“Why are you guys doing that? Why?” Junior asked the crowd as they inexplicably booed him. Dos Santos sounds as if his jaw is broken. Multiple refs and this idiotic crowd dissapointed tonight. Thankfully the fighters, as always, delivered.

Velasquez acknowledged that he’d have to fight Dos Santos again in a rubber match at some point. Dos Santos, though, swollen and beaten, retained his fighting spirit.

“Like you said. I’m going to come back and I’m going to take my belt again,” Dos Santos promised.

Thanks for hanging out with us tonight, guys. Check back with us tomorrow for our UFC 155 Aftermath and post-event coverage.

– Elias Cepeda

UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez II — FX Prelims Results & Commentary

(I don’t care what they’re arguing about. I’m always going to side with the guy who’s not wearing bikini briefs. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s UFC 155 weigh-in set on MMAFighting.com)

As an appetizer to tonight’s UFC 155 pay-per-view blowout, the UFC has slated four promising preliminary matchups on FX, featuring battle-tested sluggers (Melvin Guillard vs. Jamie Varner, Brad Pickett vs. Eddie Wineland) and streaking rising stars (Erik Perez vs. Byron Bloodworth, Michael Johnson vs. Myles Jury), all looking to close out 2012 with a bang, bro.

Handling the liveblog for this leg of our journey will be Anthony Gannon, who will be jotting down round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and if you’re watching along with us, shoot us your own thoughts in the comments section.

(I don’t care what they’re arguing about. I’m always going to side with the guy who’s not wearing bikini briefs. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s UFC 155 weigh-in set on MMAFighting.com)

Sup, Potatoheads! Let’s start this New Year’s show off proper with some kick-ass undercard fights, and a little NYE nostalgia. Seems like just yesterday we were dreaming of partying like it was 1999. Remmeber 99? Gas was like a buck a gallon, Jessica Biel was really starting to fill out as Mary Camden on 7th Heaven, and the government was running budget surpluses.

Here we are about to enter 2013, gas is pushing $4, Jessica Biel just married one of the Backstreet Boys or something like that, and everyone’s taxes are going up. Happy Fuckin’ New Year.

In 1999 my friends and I went to Manhattan for NYE and had a night they make movies about. This year we’ll be in someone’s basement, avoiding the women, playing darts, and talking about mortgage rates and fiscal cliffs.

WTF happened?

This is why I so enjoy this MMA shit though. It gives me a chance to relive my misspent youth without the crap that comes with that: being broke, getting arrested for sticking your bare ass out of car windows, waking up next to women who’re only slightly more attractive than Butterbean, or worse yet, waking up nude in a field beside a South Carolina trailer park with little recollection of the horrific events that led to such a scenario.

But for the next five hours I’m free again, back to that wonderful, carefree existence. During this short mental vacation, my girlfriend is not allowed to harass me with unimportant tasks. She is permitted to sit and watch, and may speak, although phrases like, “Why doesn’t he just kick him in the head?” are banned, the consequences clearly defined and necessarily harsh. I can get piss drunk if I wish, and if I wanna take my ass out, dammit I’ll take my ass out, just in the house with the curtains down. And usually by the co-main event I’m engaged in a bitter struggle for household supremacy with the cat. It begins with a few innocuous leg-kicks and ends with me on the floor after missing one and bashing my shin against something very hard.

But Goddammit I love every minute of the foolishness. So let’s do this shit, and thoroughly enjoy the final event of 2012.

From the Facebook portion of the event:

John Moraga beat Chris Cariaso with a nasty ass hybrid guillotine/d’arce/front headlock choke.

Max Holloway took a split decision over Leonard Garcia.

And the Duffman knocked the shit out of Phil De Fries in the first round.

The FX broadcast kicks off sans Mike Goldberg, and for as much shit as I’ve talked about Goldy over the years, he’s missed. It’s just weird to see Jon Anik standing next to Rogan. He even looks like Rogan a little, just a dorky version. He’s a good commentator though, so I guess I’ll give him a break.

First up is Michael Johnson vs Myles Jury

Since dropping the TUF Finale to Jonathan Brookins a couple years back, Johnson has found some nice success in the Octagon, posting a 4-1 record with his only blemish being a loss to Paul Sass’ inverted heal hook, which was so awesome it gave Rogan a boner so massive rumor has it he ruptured his dorsal vein due to an overflow of blood. Johnson is coming off a sweet KO over Danny Castillo.

Aside from having a cool-ass name we don’t know much about Myles “Fury” Jury. Sure he competed on The Ultimate Fighter, but let’s be honest here, the show isn’t exactly the greatest barometer to measure talent anymore. On a positive note, Jury is 10-0 – all by violent stoppage. On the negative side, not one of those guys has a Wikipedia page, and that shit means something.

Round 1: Johnson opens with a missed leg kick. Jury with a front kick, off mark. Johnson lands a leg kick, then misses a left by a mile. They’re just kind of measuring each other, no one throwing much. Jury lands a takedown, in half guard trying to escape. And he does, but Johnson escapes, now Jury is working for Johnson’s back. He’s got one hook in, and is pounding Johnson in the side of the head. Oh, nice elbow. Johnson is doing absolutely nothing to escape. But now he does, well not escape, but he’s not getting blasted in the dome anymore. Now he’s on his back, Jury is in half guard working for a Kimura. He let it go, and goes back to blasting Johnson. And Jury moves to side control, and now full mount. Now he’s got the back, working for a choke. Johnson saved by the bell. Jury 10-9

Round 2: Jury with a leg kick to start things off. Johnson continues to miss just about everything he throws. Now he lands a decent left. Oh, Jury with a head kick, has little effect on Johnson. Jury with a kick, Johnson counters with a right hook. Jury goes in for a takedown, Johnson backs him up with a shot to the chops. Leg kick by Jury. Answered by Johnson, but jury catches it and scores another takedown. Not good for Johnson. He’s got nothing for jury down there. Jury is in full guard, working some elbows, nothing too devestating. Johnson is just holding on for dear life, not doing much to get up or escape, or anything for that matter. Rogan comments on how the guard is a weak spot in MMA, and Johnson is proof of that. Weak round, but an easy 10-9 for jury.

Round 3: Jury fails on a takedown. Johnson looking to be more aggressive, but Jury ties him up and pushes him against the cage, lands a trip takedown. Nice elbow to the side of the head. Johnson gets to half guard. Jury advances to side control, working some ground and pound. Back to half guard. Big elbow by Jury, and another. Jury is on top just pounding away at Johnson’s head. Johnson looks like he took a lude. Jury still on top working that ground and pound. He’s very active from top position, but isn’t able to do much damage. He is dominating though. The round ends, and easy decision win for Myles Jury.

The judges decision is in and it’s 30-27 across the board. Nice win for Jury.

Melvin “Fuck All That Jiu Jitsu” Guillard vs Jamie “Don’t Call It A Comeback” Varner is next

After a fairly brutal career deviation that saw him get cut from the WEC, then lose to former gay porn star (not that there’s anything wrong with that) Dakota Cochrane, Jamie Varner scored a couple of impressive wins on the regional circuit and was offered a contract by the UFC. He derailed the Edson Barboza hype train by first round ass-whoopin’, then partook in a thrilling battle with Joe Lauzon, and even though he lost due to an ill-conceived takedown, Varner was impressive, and showed that he is not to be taken lightly.

Mel is an interesting case. Long considered one of the most athletically gifted lightweights in the world, he’s always failed to get over that final rung to glory. The unfortunate recipient of three losses in his last four fights, Mel desperately needs a W here. He has the ability to knock any fool out, no doubt, but unlike himself, he’s facing an opponent who doesn’t wither and die when faced with the slightest tad of adversity.

Round 1: Hard leg kick by Mel. Varner missesd a left, eats two more leg kicks. Mel with a jab to the forehead of Varner. Mel is fighting a measured strategy. Varner is trying to figure out how to get inside without getting his head knocked off. Mel with another jab. And another hard leg kick. And another. Varner misses badly with an overhand right. Varner throws a three shot combo, and one looks like it connected pretty well. Mel thwarts a takedown attempt. Varner with a big right, then connected with a good body shot. Then blasts Mel with a good one to the head, takes Mel down but the round ends. Varner finished strong, probably stole the round 10-9

Round 2: Mel opens with a jab, Varner answers with another shot. Varner sticks a takedown, Mel looking to cage walk back up, but Varner is controlling him nicely, lands a few good ones too. Now Mel flips Varner’s ass to the ground. Both are back up. They trade shots. Mel with another leg kick, follows with a high kick that lands. Mel sticks a jab, Varner misses a left, then lands a very nice combo. Mel has his high kick blocked. Varner with another takedown. Mel is back up, and they separate. Mel goes hard to the body. Varner lands a big right. Oh nasty body kick by Mel, eats a serious one to the pills. Mel’s looking pretty miserable down there. He’s okay and they’re ready to go again. Varner charges forward, Mel gets out of the way, and lands a knee to the guts. Jumping knee to end the round for Mel. Tough round to score, I’ll give it to Guillard 10-9

Round 3: Varner shoots, Mel defends. Mel with a hard kick to the body. Varner blocks, but that shit looked liek it hurt. Varner gets the takedown, but Mel is against the cage looking to get up. Varner goes for a Pruvian necktie, but Mel escapes and reverses. He’s on top looking to work some ground and pound. Varner’s shin is bleeding. Yuck. Mel goes to the body, Varner responds with a another takedown. He can’t figure out a way to keep Mel down. And he’s up. Varner ducks a punch and lands a takedown, this time nowhere near the cage. Oh shit, Mel goes for an armbar, and now he’s on top. Wow, a sit out, and now Varner is on top again. He’s got a minute to do some damage. He’s doing nothing. Mel kicks him off and gets up. Mel with a left hook. Varner picks him up and slams Mel backward on his head. Crazy ending. I’ll give that last one to Varner 10-9

The decision is in, and it’s 30-27 (Varner), 30-27 (Guillard), and 30-27 for a bizarre split decision to Jamie Varner.

Erik Perez vs Byron Bloodworth is next

In his first fight outside the south-eastern MMA scene, Bloodworth was decimated by Mike Easton after missing weight by three pounds. So not only did he get his ass whooped, but he had to pay the guy who provided said whooping 20% of his earnings, which considering his meager purse of $4000 amounted to $800. Then he was forced from a second fight due to injury. Bloodworth hasn’t fought in over a year, and earned only $3200 in that time (from fighting anyway). By comparison, the official poverty line for a single person in America is a little over $11,000 a year. So this pitiable bastard earned about $8000 less than the poorest person you know. DAYUM! For that alone I have to root for him to not only win, but get the Fight of the Night, Submission of the Night, Knockout of the Night, and “locker room” bonuses. What, it’s possible.

However, not probable. Bloodworth is facing Erik Perez, who earned a verbal submission victory in his UFC debut, and a 0:17 knockout in his encore. Yep, it’s safe to say this guy is a stone cold killer.

But never underestimate a guy who’s fighting to avoid literal starvation. Hey, it worked for Pat Barry when he was living on ketchup and rice. I know what you’re thinking. Ketchup aint cheap, right, how the hell can Bloodworth afford ketchup? Damn straight it aint cheap, especially any brand that isn’t spelled ‘catsup,’ but Burger King was foolish enough years back to provide those do-it-yourself dispensers. All you gotta do is roll in there to take a piss, and when no one’s looking squirt a bunch of that crimson gold into the baggy you found on the street. And shit, you can even use the free soap provided by a BK bathroom to wash that jammy out. See, who says fast food restaurants are public health hazards/slave mills that provide no public worth whatsoever? Then you got ketchup and rice for the week, and that’s some good livin’.

Round 1: Byron opens with a huge overhand right. Perez ties him up against the cage, Byron reverses, and now Perez reverses, delivering some body shots. Perez with a knee. And another one that drops Byron, damn! Perez descends, and is on top pounding away, but Byron is surviving, and he establishes guard. Perez goes to the head, then to the body, now he’s dropping elbows. Byron defending well. Perez working that body nicely with punches and elbows. Now he’s dropping them to the head. Perez is relentless. He just landed a good one, Byron turns to his side, and Perez finishes him. This kid is a killer, man.

The official decison is in, and it’s a TKO at 03:50 of round one. That’s three fights in the UFC for Perez, three first round stoppages. Not bad. Perez has that stupid mask on for his interview, and so does his entire corner.

Brad Pickett and Eddie Wineland are up

Serious tussle here. Don’t let the stupid hat fool you, Pickett is an animal. His only UFC loss was to Renan Barao, and there aint no shame in that game. Barao has forgotten more about dispensing pain that you or I will ever know. Pickett likes to bang it out, but he’s got a pretty underrated submission game as well. And to hell with you if you missed my Lethal Weapon reference.

Wineland is also a savage. He followed up two tough UFC opening losses to Urijah Faber and Joseph Benavidez with a spectacular knockout of Scott Jorgensen. Let’s see what he’s got here.

Round 1: Pickett with a leg kick to start. Wineland responds in kind. Pickett charges in with a left hook. Wineland misses a big uppercut, but then lands a good right, and another. Pickett responds with a right of his own. Rogan comments that Wineland is doing everything they tell you not to do in a boxing class. But then he drops Pickett. He’s up though, and looks okay. Wineland goes to the body, Pickett misses a hook. Wineland is throwing bombs. Aint gotta have much technique if one of those lands. Damn, he drops Pickett again, twice, but he’s back up. Pickett shoots, fails. Pickett with a left, then a leg kick. Wineland throws a few, good head movement by Pickett. He needs a little more of that. Wineland lands two more than stun Pickett, then he goes to the body. Pickett jumps forward with a big Rocky type hook, missed badly. The round ends, gotta say 10-9 for Wineland

Round 2: Wineland tags Pickett with a left, Pickett answers with a good shot of his own. Wineland tags him again, and again with a left hook. Pickett with a leg kick, he’s having a hard time finding Wineland’s face. But he goes to the body, nice. Wineland with a jab, blocks Pickett’s counter right. Huge exchange, both just skim the other. Good left hook by Wineland. And a short right. Non stop kickboxing match and the fans are booing. Big hook by Pickett, and Wineland is bleeding from his eye. Wineland lands a nice straight right to close out the round. 10-9 Wineland

Round 3: Pickett with a jab, then a knee that maybe brushes Wineland’s gut. Pickett is charging forward, Wineland moving very well, getting out of the way of mostly everything. Oh nice one two combo from Wineland. Pickett lands a very solid right, doesn’t seem to faze Wineland much. Nice leg kick by Pickett. Wineland lands like three jabs in a row. And a jab by Pickett. Wineland lands a solid right, then misses a left. Pickett misses an uppercut, then sticks a low kick. They trade straight shots. Oh hard to the body by Pickett, then whiffs a big left. Wineland to the body. Pickett staying aggressive, but Wineland is countering him nicely. The bell sounds, and this one goes to Eddie Wineland.

The decision is in, and it’s 30-27 (Wineland), 29-28 (Pickett), and 30-27 for Wineland.

That’s it for me, folks. Let the tomfoolery commence. Thanks for chillin’, and stick around for the main card.