(I can’t tell you what my strategy was going in, nor can I tell you who the UFC would like me to face next. All I can tell you is that I’m just a man looking for the bastard children who took me Lucky Charms.)
There was something incredibly familiar about Conor McGregor from the moment he started mean-mugging Marcus Brimage at the UFC on FUEL 9 weigh-ins. His brash arrogance, his complete lack of respect for his opponent’s game, hell, even his body type was positively…Diazian. And although his actual respect for Brimage in his post-fight interview and snappy attire at the post-fight press conference were anything but, we couldn’t help but be reminded of Nick Diaz while McGregor was explaining how dire his financial situation was before earning a $60,000 “Knockout of the Night” bonus last weekend:
I’m just happy I won $60K. I’m just thinking on what I’m going to spend it on. I’ll buy myself a car anyway. A nice car, may be some suits or something. Custom made suits, I don’t know.
Just last week I was collecting the social welfare, you know what I mean? I was in there saying to them like, ‘I don’t know what going to happen. I’m signed to the UFC. I don’t know what….blah, blah, blah. But now I supposed I’m gonna have to tell them to f— off!
I didn’t have money before this… I was collecting 188 Euro ($245) a week off the social welfare. And now here I am, with like 60gs bonus and then my own pay. I don’t know what the f—s going on to be honest, right?
Granted, it’s not exactly “I didn’t go to school for buying a house” levels of silliness, but you’ve got to…respect is the wrong word here…appreciate (?) the guy who openly admits to being on welfare literally seconds before sharing his plans to purchase custom tailored suits. Like Old Dirty Bastard before him, Conor McGregor will be an OG until the day he dies.
A full video of the UFC on FUEL 9 press conference is after the jump.
(I can’t tell you what my strategy was going in, nor can I tell you who the UFC would like me to face next. All I can tell you is that I’m just a man looking for the bastard children who took me Lucky Charms.)
There was something incredibly familiar about Conor McGregor from the moment he started mean-mugging Marcus Brimage at the UFC on FUEL 9 weigh-ins. His brash arrogance, his complete lack of respect for his opponent’s game, hell, even his body type was positively…Diazian. And although his actual respect for Brimage in his post-fight interview and snappy attire at the post-fight press conference were anything but, we couldn’t help but be reminded of Nick Diaz while McGregor was explaining how dire his financial situation was before earning a $60,000 “Knockout of the Night” bonus last weekend:
I’m just happy I won $60K. I’m just thinking on what I’m going to spend it on. I’ll buy myself a car anyway. A nice car, may be some suits or something. Custom made suits, I don’t know.
Just last week I was collecting the social welfare, you know what I mean? I was in there saying to them like, ‘I don’t know what going to happen. I’m signed to the UFC. I don’t know what….blah, blah, blah. But now I supposed I’m gonna have to tell them to f— off!
I didn’t have money before this… I was collecting 188 Euro ($245) a week off the social welfare. And now here I am, with like 60gs bonus and then my own pay. I don’t know what the f—s going on to be honest, right?
Granted, it’s not exactly “I didn’t go to school for buying a house” levels of silliness, but you’ve got to…respect is the wrong word here…appreciate (?) the guy who openly admits to being on welfare literally seconds before sharing his plans to purchase custom tailored suits. Like Old Dirty Bastard before him, Conor McGregor will be an OG until the day he dies.
A full video of the UFC on FUEL 9 press conference is below.
(Truer words have never been spoken. YEAH, I SAID IT.)
Although TUF 14 alum and noted Dragon Ball Z enthusiast Marcus Brimage might not be a name on everyone’s tongue at the moment, he is quickly gaining a reputation as the featherweight division’s greatest hype train derailer (?). An African American T.E Lawrence with better tumbling skills, if you will. In his past two contests, Brimage has thrown a wrench into the plans of such highly lauded 145ers as Maximo Blanco (who to be fair, had his hype at least partially deflated by Pat Healy in his previous fight) and Jimy Hettes. Clearly the UFC has recognized Brimage’s current position as a litmus test for future prospects, as he has recently been booked to take on Irish phenom and two-division Cage Warriors champion, Conor McGregor, in a featherweight bout at UFC on FUEL 9.
When we last caught up with McGregor, he had moved up to lightweight to secure his second championship belt via a spectacular KO of Ivan Buchinger. Currently sporting a 12-2 record that includes 11 (T)KO victories and 9 first round stoppages, McGregor has put together an eight fight win streak over the past two years.
Will Brimage pull off yet another upset, or will he end up as another entry on McGregor’s lengthy highlight reel? Check out a couple videos of the Irishman in action after the jump and let us know in the comments section.
(Truer words have never been spoken. YEAH, I SAID IT.)
Although TUF 14 alum and noted Dragon Ball Z enthusiast Marcus Brimage might not be a name on everyone’s tongue at the moment, he is quickly gaining a reputation as the featherweight division’s greatest hype train derailer (?). An African American T.E Lawrence with better tumbling skills, if you will. In his past two contests, Brimage has thrown a wrench into the plans of such highly lauded 145ers as Maximo Blanco (who to be fair, had his hype at least partially deflated by Pat Healy in his previous fight) and Jimy Hettes. Clearly the UFC has recognized Brimage’s current position as a litmus test for future prospects, as he has recently been booked to take on Irish phenom and two-division Cage Warriors champion, Conor McGregor, in a featherweight bout at UFC on FUEL 9.
When we last caught up with McGregor, he had moved up to lightweight to secure his second championship belt via a spectacular KO of Ivan Buchinger. Currently sporting a 12-2 record that includes 11 (T)KO victories and 9 first round stoppages, McGregor has put together an eight fight win streak over the past two years.
Will Brimage pull off yet another upset, or will he end up as another entry on McGregor’s lengthy highlight reel? Check out a couple videos of the Irishman in action below and let us know in the comments section.
(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)
It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?
Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”
(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)
It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?
Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”
Demetrious Johnson: Dana White announced at the UFC 152 post-fight press conference that the winner of John “Clown Baby” Dodson vs. Jussier “Formiga” da Silva will more than likely be next in line for a flyweight title shot, a match that Johnson stated he will be watching with vested interest as well. So that’s that.
Michael Bisping: We know, we know; we previously stated that if Bisping wanted to get slaughtered by Anderson Silva next then we should let him do it and in fact cheer him on. But let’s be real here, Taters, Anderson doesn’t reallygive two shits about the middleweight division right meow, and IFhe gets past Stephan Bonnar at UFC 153, he will spend the remainder of his time shooting movies and waiting for the GSP superfight that may never come. And besides those facts, does anyone honestly think Bisping has earned a shot at Silva? He’s currently on a 1-0 (decision) win streak and just beat his first top 10 opponent in…ever. We say give him the winner of Chris Weidman vs. Tim Boetsch while Anderson is off doing his thing.
Matt Hamill: Even though he turned in a pretty poor performance against Roger Hollett last Saturday, one of you were quick to point out that “The Hammer” set the UFC record for significant strikes landed in a LHW fight with 124. That’s great and all, but the fact that 90% of those strikes were landed to the head of a downed and fetal Hollett without at least TKO’ing him doesn’t exactly speak volumes of Hamill’s power. Granted, it was Hamill’s first fight in over a year, so maybe we shouldn’t be so harsh on him. The fact still remains, however, that the TUF 3 alum still has a lot of kinks to work out, and we think the perfect matchup for him would be none other than former CP blogger Ryan Jimmo, who is coming off a 7-second destruction of Anthony Perosh in his UFC debut and has a wide open dance card. A win for either man would be a big step in the right direction.
Cub Swanson: Tweaked knee or no tweaked knee, Charles Oliveira got straight up embarrassed by Swanson last weekend, and it’s time to give Cub the step up in competition he has feared since Jose Aldo stole his eyebrow and took it home to Brazil. Working with Greg Jackson has improved his game in leaps and bounds, so why not match him up against a former “title contender” in Eric Koch? Injuries have kept Koch out of action for over a year now and he could use a win over a streaking fighter like Swanson to prove that he was title-worthy in the first place. Again, it’s a good fit for all involved and screams fireworks, so start Twitter-bombing DW with requests and make it happen!
Vinny Magalhaes: The TUF 8 finalist looked great in his grand return to Zuffa, taking advantage of a huge mental error by Igor Pokrajac (apparently he has a lot of those) to secure a brilliant armbar finish. He’s been seeking UFC redemption ever since he was released by the promotion, so a fight with Ryan Bader a.k.a the man who dashed his TUF dreams seems like a pretty smart move. Bader was just knocked out of contendership by Lyoto Machida at UFC on FOX 4 and will be looking for some redemption of his own. However, if you’re not a big fan of rematches, pairing Magalhaes against James Te Huna would be a great litmus test for both men. Te Huna needs to prove that he can hang with the best on the ground if he is ever to be considered a legit contender and Vinny could use another win over a solid standup fighter to erase the memories of the “tuck-n-roll” loss that dominates Bader’s highlight reel.
T.J. Grant: It might surprise you to learn that Grant has been fighting int he UFC for over three years now, but has gone overlooked by almost every fight fan for his somewhat lackluster fighting style and lack of finishes. Even though he did not finish Evan Dunham in their FOTN-earning war on Saturday, it’s safe to say that Grant is finally a name that UFC fans can get excited about. Now 3-0 at 155 lbs., Grant’s striking, cardio, and chin looked phenomenal against Dunham, and he should look to keep the momentum rolling against another exciting lightweight. The first name that comes to mind is Jamie Varner, who followed a gigantic win over Edson Barboza with a hard fought third round triangle loss to Joe Lauzon, also at UFC on FOX 4. A former WEC champion, Varner is just the kind of name that Grant could build his name off. On the other side of the coin, a win over a fellow vet like Grant could give Varner’s confidence an additional boost while keeping him relevant in his new home.
Marcus Brimage: He’s knocked two hype trains off the rails in as many matches; let’s see him try and do it again. Although Dustin Poirier‘s train suffered a significant setback in his loss to Chan Sung Jung at UFC on FUEL 3, he is still easily top 5 material. If Brimage can manage to upset Poirier, or even give an impressive showing against him, there will be no denying his future in the division.
Any matchups you think we missed? Let us know in the comments section.
Filed under: UFCThe TUF 14 Finale once again made use of the claustrophobically ‘intimate’ setting in the Pearl at the Palms on Saturday night. It’s the kind of arena that lets you hear everything from the smack of the gloves to the belligerent shouts …
The TUF 14 Finale once again made use of the claustrophobically ‘intimate’ setting in the Pearl at the Palms on Saturday night. It’s the kind of arena that lets you hear everything from the smack of the gloves to the belligerent shouts of individual audience members, which is both good and bad, sometimes all at once.
For me personally, one benefit of the limited space at cageside was that I ended up sitting directly behind the Octagon girls. What did I learn from the experience? Mainly that Chandella and Arianny have zero problem eating candy and junk food all night. Seriously, we’re talking Skittles, Reese’s peanut butter cups, even Oreos.
And honestly? I was impressed. A lot of people might assume that women who wear a bikini to work must be starving themselves, but they definitely aren’t. Maybe it’s not a dietary strategy that all of us could pursue and still look good on TV, but it’s obviously working for them. Score one for Skittles.
On to Saturday night’s biggest winners, losers, and everything in between…
Biggest Winner: Diego Brandao
We could argue all day about whether a TUF title really means anything (though let’s not do that; I have errands to run), but a great fight is a great fight no matter what’s at stake. From his entrance music to his recklessly aggressive style, Brandao really is like a 145-pound Wanderlei Silva, only without the weird post-facelift look. He and Bermudez combined for one of the best finale fights in recent memory, packing three rounds of action into just a little under one round of actual fighting. Brandao’s style obviously opens him up to danger, as we saw, but it’s also incredibly exciting to watch. That man gets in the cage with the goal of writing his name in blood — yours or his, he doesn’t seem to care. For fans who love to complain that the smaller fighters lack finishing power, he’s the perfect addition to the UFC roster. He’s a brutal little wrecking ball who can end fights on his feet or on his back. Better yet, he will force even the most strategically-minded opponents into a car wreck inside the cage. The featherweight class could use that infusion of violence right now, and Brandao may be just the man to deliver it.
Biggest Loser: Jason “Mayhem” Miller
As much as I love his antics inside the cage and out, that was bad. Not even just a little bad, either. It was very, very bad, and at the exact worst time for him, career-wise. Who knows why he gassed out quickly. Bisping would like to think it was his doing, but that sounds a little bit like when Chael Sonnen tried to take credit for Paulo Filho’s bizarre behavior in their WEC rematch. Whatever was wrong with “Mayhem” was most likely internal, not external. Maybe the pressure got to him more than he expected it to. Maybe it was all that time outside the cage. Maybe it was some combination. Regardless of the reason, by the second round he had nothing left to threaten Bisping with, and all he could do then was take his beating like a man. Which he did, by the way. He ran on fumes for as long as he could, and then he got out and pushed. The end result was a beating that stretched on like the excruciating last act of a Terrence Malick movie. Hopefully the UFC and the fans won’t judge him too harshly on the basis of that one fight, since he can definitely do better. He just has to do it soon.
Mr. Split Personality: Michael Bisping
Just when you think he’s going full heel, he has a great performance and even acts like a gentleman afterward, shaking Miller’s hand and bowing to the same fans he cursed a day before. Then you go back and watch the fight again and wonder, hey, didn’t he just try to totally illegally headkick a downed “Mayhem” Miller? What’s up with that? Then he blames a miscalculated weight cut for his weigh-in outburst (somewhat understandable), but also says it was kind of Joe Rogan’s fault (not at all understandable). Bisping is a riddle wrapped up in an enigma and baked inside a Yorkshire pudding. What gets lost in all the public image concerns, however, is that he’s obviously a hell of a fighter, whether his haters want to admit it or not. Even if you don’t think much of his wins, look at his losses. A questionable decision against former light heavyweight champ Rashad Evans, a knockout at the hands of Dan Henderson (that one doesn’t look so bad in light of recent events, does it?), and an at least arguable decision against Wanderlei Silva. You could say he lacks knockout power, and the Miller fight lends credence to that, but you can’t say that he doesn’t have skills.
Most Fun Per Pound: John Dodson
This pint-sized warrior has an infectious enthusiasm for everything, plus he can obviously fight a little bit. The stoppage might have been a tad early, but the fact remains that Dodson is essentially a flyweight who just won the bantamweight TUF tournament, so give the man his respect. His post-fight floor/cage routine makes me wonder if he didn’t miss his calling as a gymnast (or a ninja), but I’m excited to see how far he can go in the UFC. Once the organization finally gets the 125-pound division up and running, that is.
Worst Judging That Probably Didn’t Matter: Yves Edwards vs. Tony Ferguson
I scored it 29-28 for Edwards, but the third round was so close that I wouldn’t even bother to argue if you told me you had it 29-28 for Ferguson. What I cannot accept, however, is a 30-27 score for Ferguson, which is how two of the three judges saw it. That’s the sort of thing that should make every fighter scared of going to a decision — even Ferguson. If the judges can look at a round that saw Ferguson get headkicked from one end of the cage to the other and score it in his favor, they simply can’t be trusted. It didn’t result in an outright robbery this time, but it’s still a disturbing sign that MMA judging has serious problems that no one seems to be even trying to fix.
Nasty As He Wanna Be: Marcus Brimage
After winning a clear-cut decision over Stephen Bass he took to the microphone and said he’d like to thank his sponsors, “when I get some.” Then he did a post-fight sitdown with our own Ariel Helwani that was hilariously inappropriate, necessitating the use of the old-timey test pattern to protect him from himself. Seriously, for those of you wondering what he said, don’t. You’re better off this way. If I could somehow un-know it, I would. Let’s just say that the next time a fighter asks if he can “get graphic” in a conversation about his sexual preferences, Helwani will almost certainly tell him no. The mental images that Brimage painted are the kind that disturb the sleep. That said, he’s just so damn likable. He’s still a little raw in the cage, but he’s got real potential. If he can sharpen his skills and get some experience (without getting himself banned from giving post-fight interviews) he could be a legitimate future prospect.
Most in Need of a New Way to Spend His Saturday Nights: Steve Mazzagatti
I initially thought Dana White went a little too far in calling him the worst ref in the history of fighting (whoever was working those Christians vs. lions bouts in the Coliseum was pretty bad), but now I’m starting to come around to that assessment. It’s not even the magnitude of the mistakes so much as the amazing consistency of them. He let the Johnny Bedford-Louis Gaudinot bout go on long after Gaudinot had quit fighting back, and he had absolutely nothing to say about the various illegal and/or attempted illegal blows in the Bisping-Miller fight. It’s to the point now that, when he’s announced as the ref for a given fight and the crowd boos, that’s how you know you’re dealing with an educated crowd. Mazzagatti needs to up his game or else find something else to do, because one of these days he’s going to get somebody seriously hurt.
Least Charitable Assessment of a Main Event: Dana White
Calling the Bisping-Miller fight “the most one-sided fight” he’s seen in the UFC is just ridiculous. Even if White isn’t much of a Miller fan (and he isn’t), we’ve seen far less competitive matches over the years. Anderson Silva-Chris Leben comes to mind. Sean Gannon-Brandon Lee Hinkle is one the UFC might rather forget entirely, but it’s up there as well. Hell, even the Bedford-Gaudinot fight earlier in the night was more lopsided, only in part because of the tremendous size difference. Yes, Miller got tired early and was never really in the fight after that, but we’ve seen way worse. Trying to bury a guy who could turn out to be a legitimate draw for your company is a move that I can’t quite fathom. Lighten up, Dana. And give “Mayhem” a second chance.
(That’s gangsta. For more gifs from episode 2, check out IronForgesIron.)
As the 16 fighters who survived the elimination round move into the TUF house, some of them hump each other excitedly, while others bury their anxiety in barbecue chicken. Here’s Louis Gaudinot, the green-haired guy: “Dana said the house is 15,000 square feet, but it’ll feel really small; it’s gonna feel like a closet. And I’m already feeling that.” Really? Already? Bro, you haven’t even dropped your bags yet.
After huddling with their assistants to analyze the fighters, coaches Bisping and Mayhem arrive for team selections. The coin-flip lands in Bisping’s favor after a dramatic roll across the room. The Count decides to take first fighter-selection rather than first fight-pick. As we all know, that’s a strategic blunder on par with getting involved in a land war in Asia. The teams break down like this…
Bantanweights Team Bisping: Louis Gaudinot, TJ Dillashaw, John Albert, Josh Ferguson Team Miller: John Dodson, Johnny Bedford, Dustin Pague, Roland Delorme
(That’s gangsta. For more gifs from episode 2, check out IronForgesIron.)
As the 16 fighters who survived the elimination round move into the TUF house, some of them hump each other excitedly, while others bury their anxiety in barbecue chicken. Here’s Louis Gaudinot, the green-haired guy: “Dana said the house is 15,000 square feet, but it’ll feel really small; it’s gonna feel like a closet. And I’m already feeling that.” Really? Already? Bro, you haven’t even dropped your bags yet.
After huddling with their assistants to analyze the fighters, coaches Bisping and Mayhem arrive for team selections. The coin-flip lands in Bisping’s favor after a dramatic roll across the room. The Count decides to take first fighter-selection rather than first fight-pick. As we all know, that’s a strategic blunder on par with getting involved in a land war in Asia. The teams break down like this…
Bantanweights Team Bisping: Louis Gaudinot, TJ Dillashaw, John Albert, Josh Ferguson Team Miller: John Dodson, Johnny Bedford, Dustin Pague, Roland Delorme
Featherweights Team Bisping: Diego Brandao, Akira Corassani, Marcus Brimage, Stephen Bass Team Miller: Dennis Bermudez, Bryan Caraway, Dustin Neace, Steven Siler
Bisping says he got his top four choices for the featherweight selections. “If [Miller] had an ounce of intelligence he’d be picking some of those guys, but he didn’t,” Bisping says. When Miller comments that some of Bisping’s fighters actually look happy to be on his team, Bisping reminds the home viewers that “I’ve won 17 fights in the UFC, he’s a Strikeforce reject.” Bisping has actually won 11 fights in the UFC, 13 if you count his TUF 3 exhibition matches. But who’s counting? He clearly isn’t.
The guys have their first workouts with their new teams. Steven “Last Pick” Siler gets his nose bloodied and has to have his entire face taped up. Afterwards, Mayhem and Ryan Parsons bring their fighters some space-age compression suits, which are supposed to aid recovery, I guess. Team Mayhem appreciates that their coaches seem to be looking out for them.
It’s time for the first fight announcement, and Miller selects Bryan Caraway (his #2 featherweight) vs. Marcus Brimage (Bisping’s #3). It’s pretty obvious what’s going on here. Caraway had perhaps the least-impressive victory in the elimination round, but he’s an adept wrestler, and could exploit Brimage’s lack of expertise on the ground. Mayhem needs to keep control of the fight selections by any means necessary.
“Quinton Jackson and Dragon Ball Z are the reason I do MMA,” Brimage explains. [Ed. note: Nick Diaz and Thundercats are the reason I write about MMA.] Sitting at 157 pounds two days before the fight, Brimage is a little nervous about making the weight, but Bisping and his crew guide Marcus through the sweat-suit/salt bath/blanket pile process, and it all works out.
Bryan Caraway is a bit of a head case, which he’s quite aware of. He’s been to a sports psychologist to work on “positive self-talk” and not worrying about bad things that have never happened. He feels like throwing up before he fights. He was called “Nervous Nancy” on his last team. He’s working on not letting fear overcome him. And this is Miesha Tate’s boyfriend?
Prank #1: Team Mayhem rolls all the training tires into Team Bisping’s prep-room, and arranges it so that a tire is actually blocking the door from being opened. Bisping has to kick his own door open to get inside. And that’s about it. Look, Mayhem’s just getting warmed up, okay?
After weigh-ins, Brimage and Caraway face off, while Team Bisping’s fighters sing the following chant: “Darkness gonna knock you out….Big mistake to call him out…Caraway’s a fucking bitch…Leave his body in a ditch…Darkness, Darkness, Darkness…”
Miller laughs it off (“that was the cutest little show tune I’ve ever heard”), but Caraway’s upset that they attacked him personally. And now they’ve awoken a sleeping, nervous giant.
“This is MMA, and people like to see ass-whuppins handed out,” Brimage explains before the fight. “And that’s what I do, hand out ass-whuppins.” He sees the fear in Caraway’s eyes as they enter the cage. Will it matter that Caraway has an eight-inch reach advantage, four inches in height, and tons more professional experience? Time to find out…
Round 1: Brimage starts off throwing jabs, looking for his distance. But before he can get comfortable, Caraway shoots and scores a quick takedown. Caraway with some punches against the cage. Brimage returns a couple off his back. Caraway looks to pass guard and winds up taking Brimage’s back and flattening him out. Brimage rolls, Caraway hangs on, looking for the choke. He locks in a body triangle. Brimage defending the choke the best he can. By way of encouragement, Miller shouts to Caraway, “He’s having Bisping coaching on grappling right now.” LOL. Caraway getting his hands across the neck, but Brimage keeps pulling them off. Brimage’s mouthguard falls out. Caraway almost sinks the choke, but Brimage manages to defend again. Brimage explodes out and rolls to his knees. Caraway is like glue, sticking on his back and sneaking in punches. There’s the horn, and Caraway takes the round with ease.
Round 2: Caraway lands a counterpunch as Brimage comes in attacking. Brimage fires a superman punch but misses. They swing punches then get into a scramble, and Caraway deposits Brimage on the mat again. “Say good night-night, Darkness!” Miller shouts. Caraway looks for the choke again but Brimage escapes and they’re standing again. Brimage lands a stiff knee to the head as Caraway shoots. Brimage stuffs another takedown, but Caraway keeps at it until he brings Brimage to the mat. Brimage with an acrobatic somersault escape. He gets to his feet and Caraway chills on his back for a few seconds, taking a breather. Brimage doesn’t want to return to the mat, so he kicks Caraway’s legs a couple times then lets him up. Brimage whiffs a head kick and Caraway takes him down again. Once again, Caraway takes Marcus’s back and flattens him out. Finally, he sinks the choke and Brimage taps.
Bryan Caraway def. Marcus Brimage via submission (rear-naked choke), round 2, and advances to the featherweight semi-finals.
Brimage managed to swell up Caraway’s eye with punches from his back in the first round. Still, he feels like he let down all of Alabama. Bisping says the win “put a stupid little smirk on [Miller’s] already stupid-looking face.” He says they’ll win the next one, but doesn’t really sound convinced.
On the next episode: Brimage gets into it with one of his teammates, and a mayonnaise prank goes too far.
The 
