(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.)
In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.
In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.
(We can pay for your elbow surgery, Rampage, but the UFC’s insurance policy does not cover gonorrhea.)
In the past few years, we have seen former light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson turn from a Ricardo Arona-powerbombing, Chuck Liddell-stomping, Southern California freeway-racing SOB into a tirelessly complaining, terrible rapping, transsexual raping shell of his former self. His ongoing war with the UFC and their insistence on giving him “boring fights” has grown tired to even the biggest Rampage fan at this point, and regardless of how hard he has tried to convince us that “big fights” are waiting for him outside of the UFC, most of us just assumed that once he got the tar beat out of him by Glover Teixeira at UFC 153, he would abandon MMA altogether, star in a series of direct-to-DVD films in the vein of Blood and Bone, and fade into obscurity until 2025, when he will be arrested for binging on 5 hour energy drinks, stripping down to his birthday suit, and destroying a magazine kiosk in New York City because “my neighbors demon-possessed dog told me to.” Or something like that.
In either case, it seemed as if we would finally reach the light at the end of the figurative tunnel at UFC 153, and could bid Jackson adieu once and for all. Because clearly, his passion for the sport had dwindled beyond the point of return.
During a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal, Dana White said, “Globally, we’re already bigger than the NFL.” From a global stand point that may be true, but in the Pulp Fiction-esque United States, the NFL is still Marsellus Wallace. The UFC may never gain the notoriety that the NFL has in America but stand-out fighters continue to ink major product endorsement deals. Anderson Silva (Burger King, Budweiser), Georges St. Pierre (Gatorade, UnderArmor) and Jon Jones (Nike) are paving the way to success for future mixed martial artists. Although big-time corporate sponsorship for fighters is in its infancy, the other major professional sports leagues have seen their athletes gain almost as much notoriety outside the lines as within.
The UFC was purchased by Zuffa just over a decade ago and has been charging towards global domination ever since. Sure, the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL (well, maybe not the NHL) playoffs and championship contests annihilate the UFC ratings-wise but the premier MMA organization is gaining at a rapid pace. Take into account the combined several hundred years of history the 4 “major” professional leagues hold and it is glaringly apparent that the UFC and its stars are closing the gap like a fat dude towards a parked Roach Coach.
Comparing the UFC’s ratings and popularity with the aforementioned leagues is somewhat asinine and it would not be fair or rational to compare athletes from other sports with UFC fighters – but you have visited Cagepotato.com. We have never been accused of being fair or rational and matching fighters with their counterparts from around the world of other sporting organizations seemed as logical as a booze-filled headset.
Michael Jordan has become the benchmark to which all athletes are measured, although the comparisons have transcended far beyond the realm of athletics. Any activity or event draws comparisons to #23 (or #45 whatever). From Ken Jennings being the Michael Jordan of Jeopardy, to Joey Chestnut being the Michael Jordan of gluttony or Peter North being the Michael Jordan of male climax volume, Jordan is synonymous with superiority. In every single poll taken in the last decade regarding the “Top 100 NBA players in History” the battle is for #2 through #100. Michael Jordan is considered the greatest of all time in his medium (and I am not talking about minor league baseball). Anderson Silva, with his perfect 15-0 record and 10 consecutive title defenses in the UFC, has done things that may never be accomplished again in the history of mixed martial arts. Some day a fighter may come along (if he hasn’t already *foreshadowing*) and surpass Silva’s records but until his numbers fall, Anderson Silva is the Michael Jordan of MMA – period.
(Oh, you said you have a *flaggy* tattoo? I must have misheard you.)
During a recent interview with the Wall Street Journal, Dana White said, “Globally, we’re already bigger than the NFL.” From a global stand point that may be true, but in the Pulp Fiction-esque United States, the NFL is still Marsellus Wallace. The UFC may never gain the notoriety that the NFL has in America but stand-out fighters continue to ink major product endorsement deals. Anderson Silva (Burger King, Budweiser), Georges St. Pierre (Gatorade, UnderArmor) and Jon Jones (Nike) are paving the way to success for future mixed martial artists. Although big-time corporate sponsorship for fighters is in its infancy, the other major professional sports leagues have seen their athletes gain almost as much notoriety outside the lines as within.
The UFC was purchased by Zuffa just over a decade ago and has been charging towards global domination ever since. Sure, the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL (well, maybe not the NHL) playoffs and championship contests annihilate the UFC ratings-wise but the premier MMA organization is gaining at a rapid pace. Take into account the combined several hundred years of history the 4 “major” professional leagues hold and it is glaringly apparent that the UFC and its stars are closing the gap like a fat dude towards a parked Roach Coach.
Comparing the UFC’s ratings and popularity with the aforementioned leagues is somewhat asinine and it would not be fair or rational to compare athletes from other sports with UFC fighters – but you have visited Cagepotato.com. We have never been accused of being fair or rational and matching fighters with their counterparts from around the world of other sporting organizations seemed as logical as a booze-filled headset.
Michael Jordan has become the benchmark to which all athletes are measured, although the comparisons have transcended far beyond the realm of athletics. Any activity or event draws comparisons to #23 (or #45 whatever). From Ken Jennings being the Michael Jordan of Jeopardy, to Joey Chestnut being the Michael Jordan of gluttony or Peter North being the Michael Jordan of male climax volume, Jordan is synonymous with superiority. In every single poll taken in the last decade regarding the “Top 100 NBA players in History” the battle is for #2 through #100. Michael Jordan is considered the greatest of all time in his medium (and I am not talking about minor league baseball). Anderson Silva, with his perfect 15-0 record and 10 consecutive title defenses in the UFC, has done things that may never be accomplished again in the history of mixed martial arts. Some day a fighter may come along (if he hasn’t already *foreshadowing*) and surpass Silva’s records but until his numbers fall, Anderson Silva is the Michael Jordan of MMA – period.
GSP is the focal point of Canadian MMA. He is the big fish in a larger-less-populated pond and the entire weight of a nation rests on his shoulders every single time he enters the octagon. Derek Jeter plays in the biggest media market in the world and has been given the moniker “The Captain” for the most storied franchise in the history of team sports. There is a lot of pressure to perform for both world champions and they are viewed with a certain amount of reverence by fans, media, and contemporaries. Both men have graced the covers of athletic magazines as well as high fashion publications and in regards to their female fans, let’s just call them “popular.”
It has been covered on CP that there is a thin line between love and hate in regards to Jon Jones and the same can be said for Lebron James after “The Decision.” Both men are loved and hated regardless of their stellar performances during competition. Both men are just entering the recognizable primes of their careers and have already captured championships. Add in the fact that both men are genetic freaks compared to their colleagues and it appears that the dominance of Bones and King James has only just begun. Maybe?
Not that long ago, both Rampage and T.O. were at the top of their professions. Rampage was sporting the UFC light-heavyweight strap and T.O. was widely perceived as the best wide receiver in the NFL. Both men were flamboyant, arrogant and a bit unstable. While Rampage did it with his trash talking combined with a John Candy inspired freeway escapade, Owens did it with his touchdown celebrations and an accidental overdose. Now, Jackson is on the last fight of his UFC contract and T.O. is desperately trying to make the roster on an NFL team. How the mighty have fallen.
(No, Rampage, that’s not a white tiger! Bad Rampage! Down!)
Can MMA fighters just start referring to these so called “retirements” as what they really are (an extended vacation), or do they simply have too much pride? I only ask because, after retiring less than twenty pay-per-views ago (that’s roughly a year in human people time), it appears that TUF 3 light heavyweight alum Matt Hamill will be returning to action at UFC 152, where he will be taking on promotional newcomer and Bellator veteran Roger Hollett.
Being that Matt is one of the more inspirational figures in the sport, not to mention hails from just a few towns away from me, I was initially excited to hear this news. Sure, Matt will probably not be getting his revenge (or whatever you’d call it considering he won) on Jon Jones anytime soon, but he makes for a great addition to any card, and produces good fights for the most part with the occasional skull shattering KO mixed in. However, upon reading over what BG (or at least who I assume was BG, being that I’m the only one who signs his damn posts around here) wrote when Hamill originally announced his retirement, I couldn’t help but reconsider:
Prior to Saturday night, Hamill’s only career losses came against former champions Quinton Jackson and Rich Franklin, as well as his controversial split-decision loss against Michael Bisping…But losing to a mid-level up-and-comer like Gustafsson (Ed note: How things change in a year, amiright?) was apparently the final sign that the game was passing him by. It’s rare to find an MMA fighter who hangs up the gloves before the sport has completely chewed him up. Hats off to Hamill for a fantastic career, and for knowing when to walk away.
Granted, Hammil stated that part of the reason he had decided to retire was due to a “career [that] has been plagued by injuries starting with The Ultimate Fighter and disrupted my training ever since,” so perhaps he has finally had the time to sufficiently heal up. That being said, what do you think of his decision? Will it go the way of Jamie Varner, or is “The Hammer” just setting himself up to get dicknailed?
(No, Rampage, that’s not a white tiger! Bad Rampage! Down!)
Can MMA fighters just start referring to these so called “retirements” as what they really are (an extended vacation), or do they simply have too much pride? I only ask because, after retiring less than twenty pay-per-views ago (that’s roughly a year in human people time), it appears that TUF 3 light heavyweight alum Matt Hamill will be returning to action at UFC 152, where he will be taking on promotional newcomer and Bellator veteran Roger Hollett.
Being that Matt is one of the more inspirational figures in the sport, not to mention hails from just a few towns away from me, I was initially excited to hear this news. Sure, Matt will probably not be getting his revenge (or whatever you’d call it considering he won) on Jon Jones anytime soon, but he makes for a great addition to any card, and produces good fights for the most part with the occasional skull shattering KO mixed in. However, upon reading over what BG (or at least who I assume was BG, being that I’m the only one who signs his damn posts around here) wrote when Hamill originally announced his retirement, I couldn’t help but reconsider:
Prior to Saturday night, Hamill’s only career losses came against former champions Quinton Jackson and Rich Franklin, as well as his controversial split-decision loss against Michael Bisping…But losing to a mid-level up-and-comer like Gustafsson (Ed note: How things change in a year, amiright?) was apparently the final sign that the game was passing him by. It’s rare to find an MMA fighter who hangs up the gloves before the sport has completely chewed him up. Hats off to Hamill for a fantastic career, and for knowing when to walk away.
Granted, Hammil stated that part of the reason he had decided to retire was due to a “career [that] has been plagued by injuries starting with The Ultimate Fighter and disrupted my training ever since,” so perhaps he has finally had the time to sufficiently heal up. That being said, what do you think of his decision? Will it go the way of Jamie Varner, or is “The Hammer” just setting himself up to get dicknailed?
Prior to the second round loss he suffered at the hands of Gustafsson at UFC 133, Hammil dropped the aforementioned unanimous decision to Jackson in a snoozer at UFC 130, but prior to that, he collected five straight victories over the likes of Keith Jardine (via MD), Tito Ortiz (via UD), and Jon Jones (via DQ) among others. His record currently stands at 10-4, with 6 of those victories coming by way of (T)KO.
Hamill will be squaring off against 13-3 Roger “The Hulk” Hollett, who has put together a five fight win streak of his own over the past three years. Though he doesn’t hold many notable victories to his credit, Hollett most recently scored a split decision victory over John Hawk in his Bellator debut last November. Upon doing a little research, I found that John is in no way related to Lincoln Hawk, who would have totally thrown Hollett through a glass door on his way to the ring and that would’ve been the end of it. So……there’s that.
With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.
Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.
The Season That Started it All
The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.
With the recent announcement that Roy Nelson and Shane Carwin have been named as the coaches for the next installment of The Ultimate Fighter series, the MMA universe immediately launched into a full-blow orgasmic ticker-tape parade complete with tons of flying confetti and a marching band belting out death metal tunes. Once I heard the news, it was as if my life instantaneously turned into a beer commercial and the entire Potato Nation was invited. There was a rad pool-party, barbeque, a plethora of hotties, endless alcohol, and an overall quest for fun.
Well . . . . . actually, none of that happened. In fact, when word spread that Nelson and Carwin would helm the next season of TUF, it was officially filed under “WTF?” Judging from the comment section, most of the CP brethren didn’t care for the choices either. TUF is coming off a season that saw the ratings dip lower than they ever had, which could partially be blamed on the move to FX and the dreaded Friday night time slot. Regardless of the variables for the ratings drop, something drastic needs to be done, but is anybody really convinced that Carwin and Nelson are the answer to TUF’s slow and painful demise? Let’s start from the beginning and take a look back to see if this runaway train can be coaxed back onto the main rail.
The Season That Started it All
The inaugural season of TUF featured future Hall of Famers Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture as the competing coaches who would go mano y mano at the PPV after the season finale. For fans of the UFC, that was good enough for most to initially tune in for the Fertitta-funded experiment. It still remains the best crop of young talent and personalities to ever grace the show; future stars like Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonnar, Josh Koscheck, Chris Leben, Diego Sanchez, Mike Swick, Kenny Florian, and Nate Quarry were all complete unknowns vying for stardom in a fledgling sport. You mix in the whole “fatherless bastard” angle and the show was off and running even before the awe-inspiring climax between (pre TRT) FoGrif and The American Psycho. Even before that, we were treated to the greatest speech of all time that has since been condensed into a few words. “Do you wanna be a fighter?” Though there were other memorable moments from the seasons that followed, Zuffa should have quit while they were ahead because it would never be this good again. The unrefined personification of immature talent, undeniable aspirations and gonzo-sized balls oozed from the boob tube during every episode.
Season 2
Season 2 saw Rich Franklin coach opposite Matt Hughes, and since both men competed at different weight classes, they were obviously not going to fight at the conclusion of the season. This was a prime example of the UFC throwing shit against the wall to see if it would stick by parading two somewhat charismatic champions in front of the camera with hopes of gathering ratings/fans for the upcoming UFC 56 PPV. Although it was undoubtedly a less thrilling season than that of its predecessor, it did introduce to another future light heavyweight champion in Rashad Evans, who won the contract competing as a heavyweight, as well as such names as Joe Stevenson, Melvin Guillard, and future pound-for-pound punching bag GOAT Keith Jardine. And if not for Jardine, the worldmay have never learned that “The Dean of Mean” would make no sense if his last name was Johnson, a valuable take home indeed.
Season 3
Season 3 is one of my personal favorites because of the preconceived notions about coaches: Tito Ortiz and Ken Shamrock. Tito was working the crap out of “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” gimmick and wore the black hat pretty damn well even though he desperately wanted to be accepted by everyone. On the other hand, Shamrock was the MMA legend who competed in the very first UFC tournament and was the founder of his own training facility – The Lion’s Den. Shamrock was supposed to be the more seasoned coach, but chose to bring in weight lifting specialists and opted to rewatch videos of his UFC fights instead of training during an infamous episode, among other baffling decisions. Tito, conversely, came across as a guy that was genuinely committed to making his team better fighters through technique (believe it or not) and some crazy conditioning drills involving piggyback rides and vacant floors of Las Vegas hotels. In the end, Tito TKO’d Ken in just over a minute and Michael Bisping began his quest to piss off everybody around the world en route to winning the LHW contract.
Season 4 – The Comeback
Season 4 came upon us with the familiar sound of a giant turd smacking against a cinder block divider. Luckily for the UFC, a Ram-Manesque New Yorker with a perfectly timed overhand right came along and the dookie kind of stuck. I am not exactly sure who came up with the idea of bringing back washed up fighters mixed with a few coulda-shoulda guys coupled with a blend of has-beens and never-weres, but I am certain it must have sounded phenomenal during the pitch meeting. This was the only other season that featured an abundance of talent (albeit fleeting talent) like the first season. Shonie Carter, Patrick Côté, Matt Serra, Travis Lutter, Jorge Rivera, Pete Sell, *cough convicted rapist *cough* Jeremy Jackson, Scott Smith, Din Thomas, Mikey Burnett, and (everybody’s favorite) Chris Lytle. All of these guys were waaaaaay professional for any of the usual drama to become too much of an issue, aside from Shonie’s batshit craziness, that is. There were no head coaches but instead guest coaches, and all the fighters shared instructors Mark DellaGrotte as their striking guru and Marc Laimon as the perceived submission specialist. Season highlights include a goggled Burnett self-concussing himself while running through some sheet rock (forgetting that code requires studs every 16 inches), Serra calling Laimon a pussy for never stepping into the real world of fighting and of course . . . . . this. After the season there would be a fundamental plummet to mediocrity.
Season 5, or, the Aforementioned Plummet to Mediocrity
Season 5 was back to a basic grudge match between BJ Penn and Jens Pulver. The session would have been pretty tense if Pulver actually won his “welcome back to the UFC” fight months prior. Instead, Jens got KTFO by a wild-eyed nobody (at the time) named Joe Lauzon. How do you remedy this issue? Make Lauzon a participant during the season and have BJ make the guys raise their hands if they did NOT want to be on Pulver’s team. We were also introduced to the unrefined, yet potent, skills of Nate Diaz (along with his brotherly inspired “Fuck You” demeanor towards Karo Parisyan) and some Ping-Pong skills that would make Forrest Gump puke. So, basically the entire thing resembled a trash can fire without the Doo Wop.
On the next page: Disgusting pranks, trans-Atlantic rivalry, and a pugilist named Slice.
We’re not exactly sure when this took place, but recent footage has emerged showing Joe Rogan clearing the air with Quinton Jackson about their recent mini-beef. If you’ll recall, Rampage blasted Joe Rogan in an interview earlier this year, painting him as a fake-ass rusty trombone player with a girly high-ass voice who’s biased towards jiu-jitsu fighters. Rogan responded on his podcast by saying he doesn’t mean to be rude when he criticizes a fighter’s performance, and only tries to “objectively…figure out how this guy could be doing better than he’s doing…I can’t protect someone’s feelings at the expense of doing what I’m suppose to be doing, which is sort of analyzing what is going on.”
Makes sense to us. But Rogan went the extra mile in this sit-down, apologizing to Rampage’s face and explaining where he was coming from. Jackson explains that what really bothers him is new UFC fans parroting Rogan’s criticism back to him without knowing his history or what he’s really capable of; he claims he doesn’t remember what he said in that interview anyway — which is convenient, because it means that he doesn’t have to apologize — but it must have been right after he heard something insulting from one of these noobs. In the end, they both agree that these Internet guys ruin the sport, and walk away with mutual respect.
We’re not exactly sure when this took place, but recent footage has emerged showing Joe Rogan clearing the air with Quinton Jackson about their recent mini-beef. If you’ll recall, Rampage blasted Joe Rogan in an interview earlier this year, painting him as a fake-ass rusty trombone player with a girly high-ass voice who’s biased towards jiu-jitsu fighters. Rogan responded on his podcast by saying he doesn’t mean to be rude when he criticizes a fighter’s performance, and only tries to “objectively…figure out how this guy could be doing better than he’s doing…I can’t protect someone’s feelings at the expense of doing what I’m suppose to be doing, which is sort of analyzing what is going on.”
Makes sense to us. But Rogan went the extra mile in this sit-down, apologizing to Rampage’s face and explaining where he was coming from. Jackson explains that what really bothers him is new UFC fans parroting Rogan’s criticism back to him without knowing his history or what he’s really capable of; he claims he doesn’t remember what he said in that interview anyway — which is convenient, because it means that he doesn’t have to apologize — but it must have been right after he heard something insulting from one of these noobs. In the end, they both agree that these Internet guys ruin the sport, and walk away with mutual respect.
(“When I find the fool that stole my chain, I’m gonna whoop his ass.”)
Dana White’s latest video blog is chocked full of cool behind-the-scenes moments from UFC 144 in Japan, UFC on FX 2 in Australia and last week’s TUF Live premiere from Las Vegas.
Dana starts out by explaining why they went with single round eliminator bouts at to decide which fighters made it into the house on TUF and breaking down the format the show will follow from here on out. It will be interesting to see what shenanigans make it on the show and what will happen during the weekly live fight segments.
Rampage makes a brief appearance to explain that he was hurt training and that’s why he didn’t beat that “boring-ass wrestler” Ryan Bader.
(“When I find the fool that stole my chain, I’m gonna whoop his ass.”)
Dana White’s latest video blog is chocked full of cool behind-the-scenes moments from UFC 144 in Japan, UFC on FX 2 in Australia and last week’s TUF Live premiere from Las Vegas.
Dana starts out by explaining why they went with single round eliminator bouts at to decide which fighters made it into the house on TUF and breaking down the format the show will follow from here on out. It will be interesting to see what shenanigans make it on the show and what will happen during the weekly live fight segments.
Rampage makes a brief appearance to explain that he was hurt training and that’s why he didn’t beat that “boring-ass wrestler” Ryan Bader.
One of the most interesting scenes in the video came when White took UFC newcomer Ian McCall aside after his debatable decision loss to Demetrious Johnson to tell him he would be getting an immediate rematch and that MMA officiating is shit. In case you missed it, the fight was actually scored a draw and there should have been a sudden victory round, but because of a scoring error by one of the dudes from the Aussie commission, the fight was given to Johnson at first. As a result of the mistake, the UFC paid “Uncle Creepy” and “Mighty Mouse” both their show and win money on top of their Fight of the Night bonuses — and rightly so.
Dana also stopped to tell Martin Kampmann that he was uber impressed by his hail Mary come-from-behind submission over Thiago Alves. That’s why we love this sport.
